 Hey, this is episode 50. We've done 50 of these as of now. I'm blown away by that. I cannot imagine that we've done 50 of these. I think it's been over a year because we've had some weeks that we've missed. So we're beyond the year mark with Recovery Monday. And yeah, it's the 50th one. Feels like kind of a milestone. So today we're gonna talk about, we're gonna answer some questions from the YouTube audience. I put up a post on YouTube yesterday and a bunch of people asked questions. So I have them ready for us. Let's get the chat cooking here, chat overlay so you guys can see what's going on. Let me close this. We'll see what's happening. When you guys come in, just make sure you can hear me. I have my good microphone is back. It was out on loan to a client who was doing an audio book. So we have that exceptional sound quality again, I hope. I don't know. Anyway, just let me know that you can hear me. Make sure that's working okay. Let me know where everybody's from. How are you doing today? We'll give a few minutes for everybody to kind of wander in here. GB single G in the hissy. Okay, you got it, hey, Jay, what's going on? Hey, B, what up? Sorry, I'm gonna drink some of my water here. It's just water in the mug. There's no coffee or tea or anything else today. So let's see where everybody rolls in. Just a quick reminder, hello, Twitch. Welcome, I always have to have our Twitch people here. Happy Halloween, this year's work is done. You are in the costuming business, correct, Becky? So like, is this a big deal for you this time of year? I know that that's sort of your thing. I don't know if that's your business or just a hobby, but anyway, welcome, Michigan. We're drinking water is unacceptable. Hey Katya, Katya's coming all the way from Russia. Hope you're okay Katya and hanging in there. And yeah, let everybody know what's going on Halloween. Oh, happy Halloween, it is Halloween today. I am, it's a business and it's a big deal. I cannot even imagine what Halloween must be like if you're in the costume making business. Like if you're a florist, right, Mother's Day practically kills you. So I'm guessing that if you're in the costume business, Halloween kind of kills you, I get it. Is this a good time? What's your PR for 10 lifts, says Chris Walling. Good question, brother. The max I ever pulled was 570 something. I had some microplates on there. I don't know, but honestly, that was a few years ago. I don't think I'm pulling 570s again. I'm not getting my 600 pound deadlift. It didn't happen anytime soon, but thanks for asking. Not the most impressive thing. I was definitely not the strongest lifter in that gym. It was pretty hardcore powerlifting gym that I used to belong to. Anyway, Dennis Spring, how are you brother? Good to see you, it's been a long time. Hey Jason, hey Jade. So anyway, let's start to get into there. Hey, Bessie, what's happening? Welcome everybody. So I'm gonna kind of get into this. We had a bunch of people on YouTube ask some really good questions. Before we get into that, I'm gonna remind you of just a few things and put some stuff on the bottom here. These are the books that I've written. There are three of them. There's like tens of, literally tens of thousands of people. Like I finally looked about a month ago. It's a lot of people read these books. Anyway, if you need to know where to get copies of any of my three books, it's there at that URL. I will also remind you that every month, Joanna Hardis and I do a two hour webinar on tolerating distress, which is a really interesting concept that's integral to the process of recovery. Next one's coming up, I think on the 19th of November. So you could go to this URL on the screen to check that out. And then finally, those of you who follow me on Instagram know that I have now provided a way to get a little bit more interactive with me and have a little bit more contact with me and have some additional content and deep dives on my Instagram subscriptions. So if you want to check that out, you can head on over to my Instagram, the.anxious.truth and in my bio is a reel that tells you about it. So yeah, if you wanna check that out, that is totally fine. Again, none of those things is ever required. It's just always appreciated. And I'll be honest with you, the Instagram subscriptions I'm loving because we're working in a much smaller group. So it's a little more intimate. And yeah, we get to actually do some really cool stuff together. It's really great. Kathleen is here, what up? We're gonna answer some questions from YouTube real quick. Let us put those up there. Let's take the first one. This is a great question. I was not expecting this question. So how do anxious and intrusive thoughts differ from schemas? Are schemas better viewed as rediscovering and recommitting to your values? That is a tremendous question that I was not expecting to get. It's a really kind of geeky and nerdy question. So I'll answer it because a lot of people may actually understand schemas or have heard of this sort of thing and wondering like, oh, schemas, I bet, or now that you see it on the screen, you're gonna go Google it. Like, oh, how can I use schemas to recover? So here's the deal with schemas. Schemas is not, it's not like a method that you use. A schema in psychology is just what we use. So where we used to describe the way our brains organize information and build worldviews. So schemas were really made, there was psychological, the idea of schemas in psychology predate Jean Piaget, but he was the person who really brought it into the mainstream because he used the idea of schemas as a way to describe how children develop in their early years. Like, this is the way we build views of the world and how we think we can interact with it and what our opinions are of what we can do and not do, what's dangerous. So that's all a schema is. So I would say that intrusive thoughts have nothing to do. It's not that an intrusive thought and a schema might be the same or they might be different. Intrusive thoughts can impact the schemas that your brain creates about the world. But so it's not really comparing apples and apples. You can't say, well, our intrusive thoughts like schemas because it's two different things, right? So it's kind of important to recognize that because when you run across terms like schema, you have to be careful that you don't decide to like dive in and say, oh, well, now I'm gonna use schemas to recover. So our schemas better views as rediscovering and recommitting to your values. Well, as you do that kind of work, which is a lot of the work of recovery, whether you know you're doing that or not, you're kind of doing it, you will form new schemas or you will change your old schemas and PSJA use terms like assimilation and accommodation if you really wanna get nerdy about it. But you can't help but change, our schemas will change throughout entire life. So the recovery process is in those terms, a process of changing those schemas. You can't help it. The experiences will change the way you view the world and the way you view your place in it and the way you interact with it. So hopefully that helps. It's not like schemas and intrusive thoughts are two different things. Like should I use schemas? It's not a thing. It's a descriptive term that helps it all. So let's move on to the next one. And then I'll go back into the comments and I'll see what I can answer. What in the world is a schema? For those of you who are in the technology world, database schema, the schema of a database just describes the way the data in the database is organized, right? It doesn't do anything to the data in the database. It doesn't mention how to operate on it at all. It doesn't draw conclusions from it. It doesn't use the data. It's just the way you organize it into different table structures. So same thing holds true in psychology. Excellent question. I appreciate that one. Let's go to the next one, flooding exposures. What are my thoughts about, excuse me, flooding the flooding exposure technique? So this is where sometimes the different, yeah, not ischema or ischemic schema, very important. Thank you, GBG, for pointing that out. It has nothing to do with ischemia, very different. So let's go to flooding exposures. This is where sometimes in different parts of the world, flooding can mean different things. Now, I'm not 100% sure of this. I don't know if this question came from the UK or the US, but I'm led to believe that flooding in the UK is a little bit still used in the old school way, which is if you have an exposure that includes full panic, that would be called flooding. And in a way, yeah, it kinda is, right? So like by some definition, that is a flooding exposure. And it comes out in those terms because there are people who would say, no, you should never push the client, for instance, into a panic situation that would be flooding. But then on the opposite side of that debate is, yes, but if you never panic and you try to do all the stuff without panicking, then you never learn that it's okay to panic. So if we are looking at flooding, I will use that definition, that the exposure might actually include full blown panic, then I'm okay with that. Like I fall on that side of that. In fact, I kinda think you have to do it that way. This is not to say that you must flood into panic, but you have to be willing to allow that panic, right? You have to be willing to allow it. So in that case, if you define flooding as all the way to panic, I think it's okay. On the other side, the way I generally talk about flooding is I'm going to assume that baked into it already is a willingness to actually experience full blown panic. It's baked in there already. It's already included in the definition. To me, flooding is where you take a situation that you are in no way ready for, although we can argue that you're never ready for any situation and you jump into it. So a good example of a flooding exposure would be the person who has been on their sofa 90% of the time, for instance, in agoraphobia and rarely leaves their house without a safe person, can't go more than a mile or two away even with that safe person, decides to get in the car by themselves and drive themselves three hours away because they think, this is it, I gotta be fixed. I gotta fix this once and for all. That would be a flooding exposure. So in my definition and a little bit more of a modern definition, I think I can assert that flooding is just where you go into an exposure that you kind of don't have an exit for, right? So that's a problem that I don't like. Not because you need that exit. The object of the game is you learn through these experiences that that exit was never actually needed. But in this situation, you put yourself in an exposure that will last way longer than you can reasonably tolerate at that point in your journey and you don't have an exit plan out of that. So for instance, somebody goes to a wedding, for instance, they haven't been to something like that, the wedding lasts four or five hours, you could leave, but if you can't leave, you might call that flooding. Is that a disaster? No, it's not a disaster if you have a good therapist, a counselor, somebody who's helping to coach you through that because when it comes to that type of flooding exposure, the expectation is huge. It's everything. If you are going to go into a flooding exposure, the way I just defined it, and you are just going in with both fingers crossed and toes crossed and like burning sage and bringing a rabbit's foot to hope that you don't panic and that you can do it without feeling the things, it's gonna, it's really high chance of a backfire on you. But if you go into it understanding, this is extra challenging for me because I don't have an easy exit and it's a longer duration than I usually do. I will be challenged here, but I need this experience to teach me something and I can get through this no matter how much it sucks. You'll have a much better chance of being successful in that flooding exposure. The problem with flooding exposure is that they can often backfire and the person thinks I'm never leaving this house again. I don't want that to ever happen. So therefore I'm gonna go completely back to all of my escape and avoidance behaviors. That's the danger of flooding and that happens often. It's why I do not ever suggest like that you decide on Friday that you're sick of all this and you are gonna fix it once and for all and rip the Band-Aid off. It is ripping the Band-Aid off. Every exposure is ripping off a Band-Aid, but please start by ripping off the Band-Aid. If you are agoraphobic and generally haspan, rip off the Band-Aid like in your garden or down the block. You don't have to go to the next state over or fly to freaking Australia to rip off the Band-Aid. I promise, even if you're just down the block, you're ripping off a Band-Aid. You'll feel that, all right? So hopefully that makes sense with flooding. It's a big topic. It's actually a really big topic. So let's see here. Let's go back to the comments a little bit here and then I will take the next question also. Let's see if I can answer them as we go because I'll try, I know you're commenting I wanna talk about right now. One of the things I do wanna say before I go any further, if you're in the comments right now and all you want to do is frantically speak about what you're terrified of right now, I'm going to urge you to stop. Take a step back for a second and understand that there is no immediate help available in the comments section of this video or in words that I give you. Frantically searching to be soothed right now is going to lead you into a frustrated place. I don't have the ability to do that in a live stream. The people in the comments can cheer for you because we know you're gonna be okay and I know they're gonna do that but be very careful about coming to one of these and hoping that I will give you magic words for the thing you are terrified of right this minute because that's that reactive thing that gets you into the place where you come to a video like this trying to be soothed because you're terrified again of a thing you've been terrified of for years that you're still terrified of, right? So I'm not trying to minimize that. I'm just trying to give you realistic expectations of what you can expect from like a live stream from some anxiety dude, right? I feel for you but we can't address I'm terrified right now make me feel better. Not gonna work out that well. So let's see here. I'll go back and I will talk about some of these things. I see we have some wins, these are great. Let's see here. I don't know if you recovered. I wanna talk about, we mentioned ischemia, that's good. We talked about flooding. Okay, this is good. So Brooke went on vacation, she talked about this. Let's put up, this is a flooding thing. So I did a podcast with Josh Fletcher where we did talk about, I was on Josh's podcast, Panic Pod and we talked about holiday anxiety for our British friends, a vacation anxiety for Americans and we talked about that. Like understanding, like hey, that first day might be a throwaway because you're gonna have a lot of anxiety and anticipation and it's gonna be a struggle. As long as you know that's coming and you're willing to have that experience and learn from it, you can do really well with a big thing like a trip. So good job Brooke, I'm really proud of you guys. So that's awesome. And then somebody else asked, Katya says, the panic is similar whether you do small steps or flooding, I mean you panic either way. This is so good and Katya has been there. This is somebody that I know has done the work and still doing the work. So Katya always appreciate your comments when you chime in, 100% true. The exposure is to the panic, it's to the anxiety, it's to those thoughts, it's to those sensations, to those feelings. So you can trigger those things in your backyard or down the road or just being home alone for 15 minutes. You do not have to go all the way to another continent because you think that will rip the band-aid off and fix you in one time. You're gonna feel those things even in the small steps and so use the small steps, start there, it's really good. Let's see here. Okay, so let's move on to the next question. I think I got that covered. This was a good question too. And this is something that comes up a lot. I watched a video from an anxiety specialist group. Now I don't know who made the video that this person is talking about. I have no idea, they didn't specify it and I don't know. They were saying that panic disorder is not curable. They could say that if they want. I'm confused, you and countless others seem to recover from this. What gives? I would 100% absolutely invite whoever that specialist group is to come on with me and tell me that I have not cured my panic disorder. I would 100% invite that. I personally know people probably now numbering in the hundreds that are in my exact boat. And there are clinicians working every single day that if we asked would hand us a very long list if we compile them all of clients that 100% have cured their panic disorder. So I don't know, just because somebody says they're an anxiety specialist on YouTube or makes a video somewhere, doesn't mean anything. And I'm also gonna tell you, this is a common thing that we come around to. Even if that is a doctor, even if that is a therapist at the master's or doctoral level, it doesn't matter. Their theoretical orientation may tell them that, no, no, there's no such thing as a cure. But it doesn't mean that that's right. It doesn't mean that's right. So you gotta take that with a grain of salt. So I don't know if the person asking that asks this question is here watching or is gonna watch in the replay. But I can tell you flat out that you don't have to be confused. I think sometimes the confusion comes in the definition of cure. Some people will insist that like, I can have a panic attack now and then. If I have a panic attack tomorrow, there's a fair number of people in this audience that would say, see, you're a fake, you're a scammer, you're not cured, you're not cured at all. But the disorder is defined by the fear of the anxiety, not the anxiety itself. So sometimes that's where the differentiation comes. And I will also tell you in no uncertain terms that telling people that you have to learn to manage it, like, cause this was part of the question too, I couldn't fit it on the screen, that you can only learn to manage it and cope and learn the techniques. It plays really well for people who are afraid to do scary things, which is everybody. Like everybody here, if you guys are out there doing scary things, my hat is always off to you. Because nobody, I didn't wanna do that either. Nobody wants to do that. So if you are confronted with people who do not wanna do the scary things that we talk about all the time, then it's far more appealing to that person to hear, I'm gonna teach you a bunch of coping skills that involve finding your triggers, never getting triggered, retreating, being nice to yourself, self-care, retreat, avoidance, oils, blankets, people will gravitate through it that much more. And there are even many therapists that will tell you that they know that this way is the most effective way, but they don't like it because it puts people into a state of distress and they don't wanna do that. So there's a million different reasons, starting from just flat out being ignorant and untrained to trained and with the best of intentions, however, theoretical orientation or the audience they're addressing leads them to make a statement like this. Doesn't mean it's true, doesn't mean it's true. That was a little bit of a rant, but it's a great question. So let's get on to the next question, 18 minutes. Not too shabby. Let's see, how to stop the thoughts that come with GAD. So the bottom part in the white, that wasn't part of the question, that's part of my answer. I know that especially if you're new to this, you are hoping that part of this program or whatever you're gonna call it is a way to stop thoughts, right? So for somebody who is dealing with GAD, a lot of times those thoughts are gonna be based on what if this happens? I can't stop thinking about what happened a year ago or yesterday. I can't stop worrying about what's gonna happen an hour from now or 10 days from now. Did I say something wrong to that person? Did I offend that person? Did I get this wrong? Am I making a mistake? Am I ruining everybody's day? Am I a terrible mother? Like those are typical GAD thoughts, right? The object of the game is never to try to find a way to make those stop. So the answer to how do you stop the thoughts that come with GAD, you don't. You actually work on being able to leave some of those thoughts unanswered. What if I said something in this video, which there's always a high degree of probability of this with me, but what if I said something in this video five minutes ago that offended somebody? I don't know. Like I would have to leave that unanswered. Maybe I did. Well, what's the consequence? Well, maybe they won't like me. Okay. Well, so you're learning to go through those sort of things. You know, what if I'm a bad mom? Well, you'll have to live with the possibility that you're a bad mom, but what can you do about that? All right, so what can I actually do to maybe interact with my kids differently or whatever or talk to a therapist or a counselor to get my stress out so I'm better with my kids? Whatever. Like what can I do? So that means I can't solve the problem here. I can't think about the problem and keep thinking and find surety, assurance, certainty or some sort of solution in that, right? So, oh, did I miss a high girls comment? All anxiety girls are hot. I have to look. I might have missed. Anyway, so you don't stop the thoughts that come with Gad. You start to learn how to deal with the situations of those thoughts at about in a healthier way, right? It's super important to understand that because I stopped thinking this is never gonna happen. We cannot choose to not think things, especially if there are things that you think are very important in your life. Being a good dad, being a good employee, being the breadwinner, being a type A personality, an overachiever, a multitasker, a caring and loving person. I have to make sure that everybody sees me as a caring and loving person. Am I being a caring and loving person? What if they don't notice? What if they don't see it? Maybe I'm a terrible person. Like see how that can really go off the rails with Gad. So there's that. Hopefully that helps. So aim at the right target. Let's pop on to the last question and we'll go into the comments and we'll see what everybody else has to say. This is a good one. This is actually two questions about health anxiety. So the yellow is one question and the white is a second question that a different person had asked. So how do you handle health anxiety when it's directed toward your child? So in my podcast, when I did the episode, and I don't remember which episode number this is, you'd have to go to my website, TheAnxiousTruth.com and just search for health anxiety. I talked about the fact that health anxiety isn't automatically about your health. Health anxiety is quite often about the health of someone you love. A friend, a partner, spouse, child, parent, a pet. I know people who have crippling health anxiety that is focused on the health of their pets. So it isn't automatic, although it's most common that the health that you're worried about is your own, but health anxiety can be about the health of any sentient being that is important to you on the planet. That's, okay, so that's important to understand. You're not weird if you have over-the-top health anxiety about your kid at all. It's actually more common than you think. And then the second one points at the answer, which is health anxiety is hard when you have real, serious health issues just accepting is hard. So the whole crux of the deal with health anxiety is an inability to accept, I like to call health anxiety an uncertainty intolerance disorder, right? It has nothing to do with your actual health. It has to do with not being able to find 100% iron clad certainty of a positive outcome related to health. Like think about that. People with health anxiety will not accept any certainty less than 100%, whereas like I don't have health anxiety or people in the chat room right now that don't have health anxiety. I understand that I could get cancer, right? It's possible. I understand that I could have a heart attack today. It's possible that I will get done with this live stream and have a heart attack. I would admit that that is an absolute possibility. But I know that the odds are so low of that that I am certain enough that I'm not going to have a heart attack today after this live stream that I can take that thought and throw it away. So my, I call it life math in that episode. B, if you can find that episode and you want to put it in the comments, you know, you know, I love when you do that. I talk about life math and the health anxiety episode. And that is that every day we go through life and we encounter things that represent challenge or risk. And we assign a risk value to that variable, right? So I don't know. It's getting a little cloudy outside my window, which means there might be thunderstorms which means I might get hit by lightning. There could be lightning. I'm going to assign that risk, lightning risk variable, a percentage of 0.0006%, okay? So that's my life math in that equation that tells me, should I go walk outside to my mail and get the mail when I'm done with this live stream? Yeah, because I don't hear any thunder. So 0.0006% chance that I'll get by lightning is practically zero. Close enough, I'm going to get the mail. For somebody who suffers from uncertainty, intolerance, that 0.0006% chance of a lightning strike becomes a 60% chance of a lightning strike. They cannot find a way to get it to absolute zero. So therefore I have to stay and not go outside. Or I have to think about going outside to get the mail for six hours before I do it, or I have to wait till the sun is shining and be 100% certain that there's no lightning possible, right? Thanks, B. Yes, I appreciate that. So the Bethany just put a link to that health anxiety episode right up on the screen. If you guys want to follow that, I, it's one of my favorite episodes I've ever done. So if you take the lightning strike and apply it to your health, this is what's going on with that. So the fact that it's directed to, and so whether it's directed to your child or to you or to your pet or to your significant other or a parent or a sibling, it doesn't matter, you are intolerant of the knowledge and the reality that you never get a 0% chance of health problem with you or your loved ones. And then your health anxiety, like after a while, I got a little bit angry at people's health anxiety. Like I'm not here to argue with your health anxiety on your behalf. So when you insist, but this is important, I'm gonna do this, literally. Because I'm not going to accommodate its argument that like, yeah, but it's not 0%. So if I'm a good parent or a good partner or a good brother, I must, I must worry about this. I must think about this. I must make them go to doctors. I must Google all the time. You don't understand, it's important. I can't take the risk that I miss something. But I take that risk all day long. And I have news for you. If you have health anxiety, you take risks every day all day long. You just decided that that particular subject, you can't tolerate the risk. And the risk only goes away when you get to 100% certainty that nothing will happen, 0% odds of health problem. So it doesn't matter that it's directed to your kid, the same rules apply. We have to learn to say, I cannot ever get to 0% odds of health problems. Not for me, not for my dog, not for my mom, not for anybody that I love, not for anybody in the room as much as I did you guys. So you have to learn to just start to live with that because none of what you're doing to try to address that uncertainty and gain 100% certainty is doing an effing thing. Like sometimes I'm really aggressive about that because I've seen health anxiety just cripple people and I want none of it. Like it's not the people, it's the actual irrational fear that I wanna shake sometimes. I'm gonna say it again before I get off this topic. None of what you're doing to address your health anxiety is actually saving you at all, ever. Once you have gone past a plan, you have a doctor, you've gotten your second opinion, you're taking your medications, you're having surgery, you're doing whatever it is you can practically do in the real world to address this, you're done. There's nothing else you can do after that, including thinking, loving, caring, worrying. It accomplishes literally nothing except destroying your own mental health. And there's almost no way to get around health anxiety unless you're willing to accept I am literally dragging myself into a pit by doing this. I'm trying to keep myself so safe that I'm actually ruining my life. If you're not willing to accept that and you wanna keep arguing, but this is so important, I can't take that risk, okay. You have a right to do that with health anxiety. So if you actually have a real health issue and you have health anxiety, you have to remember that there is natural anxiety over being sick, over being injured, over having an illness, over not knowing yet if you have an illness. Anybody who's ever waited for medical tests knows that that's freaking stressful, right? So you're going to be anxious, you're gonna be nervous, you're gonna be, you're gonna anticipate, you're gonna feel vulnerable, you're gonna feel uncertain. Welcome to being human. The problem here is when you take that and you say, well, now I'm so amped up like a normal person would be over any illness that now amped up over being amped up. And I have to recognize that the distortion that my anxious fear creates is literally turning my odds of a terrible outcome from 30% or 15% or 40% to 100%. So I understand it's not just accepting, I'm not telling you to, well, just put the acceptance switch. Okay, if you have a legitimate medical condition, accept the challenge of that legit medical condition and don't think that there's an acceptance switch that makes you never worried. That's not human. If you have a legit medical condition, you're gonna have a psychological reaction to that. Every human being does. So just be really careful about thinking that, well, I need a method to turn off my worry. It's not, that's not possible, but you don't have to worry about being worried and you can remain connected to the distortion, right? The distortion and the magnification. That's the best I can tell you about that. So those are the questions from YouTube. There's a couple others. We'll take some more down the road. Let's pop into the comments and see what everybody has to say. I love that I always love that there's a conversation going on that I'm not in. You know, like I dig that. I love when you guys are helping each other out. Okay, so let's see here. I flooded last month and thought I was ready, but guess what? Didn't die, still sensitized, got back on the pony. Love this, love it, love it, love it. Was that a shitty experience in plain English? Quite sure it was. And I'm sorry that you had it. That's lousy. And I don't want people to have those experiences. But I love the lesson you take out of it in the end from this comment here, which like, well, I guess I wasn't ready. I'm a little bit triggered and descent and sensitized by that. But, you know, I'm okay, I can keep going. The most important part of a flooding experience is what you do after. So if you have a flooding experience and you have that sort of experience where, well, I guess I wasn't really ready for that, the worst thing you could do is to back up all the way. Like you back up, I gotta go back to the sofa and just hide for the next three weeks. The worst thing you could do, I don't care if you go back and do the most basic exposures that you've ever done, the easiest shit, just go back and do that stuff again. Like it's really important. So let's see here. How does anxiety cause intrusive thoughts? That's a huge question I'll put up on the screen. That's a huge, huge question that does not have, and I'm sorry it only says Facebook user because Streamer doesn't show me your name from the Facebook group. But how does anxiety cause intrusive thoughts? It doesn't matter how it causes it, it just does. Right, so understand, well, I don't normally think this way but since I'm anxious and sensitized all the time, I'm thinking this way now, it's just part of the deal. Like that's a good clue that says this isn't really me, like this isn't who I really am. I don't normally have this problem but I have it now because I'm really anxious and anticipating and guarding and scanning and worried all day long. That happens, right, unfortunately it happens. It is pretty well known especially for people in the OCD community that people who are dealing with OCD and get themselves into a state where it's under control or it's in remission or whatever you wanna call it, when they encounter really challenging life events, the loss of a loved one, changing careers, moving like new relationships, all relationships breaking up, you know the deal. Often those thoughts can get loud and sticky again. So it's really kind of, no, not necessarily. Chris, I would urge you, I'm gonna answer that in a second, I'll just show you classical conditioning thing. I'm gonna urge you to back away from trying to nerd your way through all this. Classic GAD, like, ooh, let me figure out what this is. Let me research it, let me learn the mechanism so that I can control it and answer it. I can see that pattern, yeah, I get it. I understand this question Mark, but just start to back away from that stuff. Not everything in life has to be figured out, just experienced, that's kind of important, especially for people with GAD. So it just does cause it, don't worry about why it causes it and just understand that in the end, this is not necessarily who I am, this is where I am right now, it doesn't mean it's gonna be for the rest of my life and I will stay connected to that. So hopefully that helps. Let's see here. Gina had a big win, it looks like, let's see here. Oh, Gina, I did several exposures, I only used my meds once in order to get on stage. On stage, okay, I don't know if you're a performer of some kind or whatever you do, Gina, but very well done, good job. That's anxiety producing for anybody. Like on stage would freak a lot of people out, so good job. Let's see here. I'll put some wins up on the screen here, might as well. My daughter moved four and a half hours away, this summer I visited her. Yolanda, amazing, right, such a big deal, good job. Always like to put those things up on the screen. Let's see here. What did Jason have to say, this is interesting. I was watching my own YouTube videos and Facebook HVAC repair videos help my recovery, is that a thing? Yeah, it could totally be a thing. Remember that this is a little bit of a funny comment from Jay, but remember any time you come into contact with uncomfortable feelings, sensations, thoughts, and you practice moving through them, it completely counts. So if you're the type of person that likes to make the videos, and I know I've seen you say this, but doesn't like to see yourself on the videos, which like how many actors say that? Oh, I never watch my own movies, I get that. It's a good thing. So is that a thing? Sure it is. If it made you uncomfortable and you watched them, excuse me anyway, then hell of a job, and that worked. So good job. Let's see here. Let's see here. I'm gonna keep scrolling. I'm not gonna answer specific symptom questions. It's not a thing. For example, I will change lanes without making really sure it's safe. Okay, this is a driving thing. We've talked about driving a lot. I know that you think that driving is super special because what if I can't control the car? What if I crash? What if I pass out? What if this panic makes me unable to control the vehicle? I dispute that all the time because there's a zillion people driving anxious right now. Like I have almost never, almost never. And I can't say never, but in the instances that I can think of with my head where there was an incident with an accident, none of which was fatal by the way, it was not the panic attack that was the cause in the end anyway, right? So it's really important. But I know you think that somehow it makes you incapable. But people who are public speakers think that they become incapable of speaking when they panic. People who are musicians think they become incapable of playing their instrument when they panic. Parents are constantly asking me all day long if it's okay for them to care for their kids while they panic. So everybody thinks that panic and high anxiety makes them incapable. It's part of what makes that disordered relationship with it. It doesn't mean that it's true just because you're worried that a thing might happen. Doesn't mean it's gonna. That's the best I could say in a short answer here on the driving thing. Let's see here. I see all the hotings already girls. Oh, that's what it was, okay. Hey, Penelope Cruzify is here. Like one of my favorite screen names. Let's see here. Yes, I have my very scary Halloween costume on. I'm the worst, man. I have no Halloween costume. That's what a bummer, right? I don't know why you guys are hanging out with me really. Let's see here. This is funny. This made me laugh. How can a Bostonian or a New Yorker not affect a fan anyone? True, fair enough. Let's see here. You could have random thought about winning Powerball but it probably won't happen. Either love that. I haven't used that one a long time. I used to say all the time like, oh, you feel like you're going to die or you feel like you're gonna pass out or you feel like something is wrong. I feel like there's $10 million in cash under my desk right now. I just feel it. It feels so strong that there's $10 million in cash under my desk right now. I just, it just feels so real. If I sold everything I had and just packed it up and said, I'm good to go. I don't need anything. I'm gonna give away all my money because there's $10 million under my desk because I really feel like it is. What would you tell me? You'd be like, no, don't do that, right? So as crazy as it sounds, the same rules apply. Like our brains are capable of producing complete nonsense, complete genius and beauty, 100%. But also complete and utter bullshit. Like our brains can produce crap just as well as they can produce gold. And I don't understand why it's such a difficult thing to understand that our brains produce crap. I bet if you think about this you could think of 10 people whose brains you think are crap, right? Because they disagree with you whatever on religion or economics or sports teams or politics, whatever. And you think their brains are ridiculous garbage pails. I don't mean you mean, but you would dismiss their thoughts out of hand. Like, it's ridiculous. But when you have the thought, it can't possibly be ridiculous. If you watch, go back to the podcast episode I did with Dr. Martin Seif. He writes with Sally Winston a lot about OCD and intrusive thoughts and uncertainty. He literally said that in the podcast episode and I think I laughed out loud when he did. He was like, oh, your brain is really capable of producing real crap. And he's a dude from New York. And he doesn't pull any punches. I like him a lot. And he said it. So there's that. And it's true. Uncertainty intolerance disorder is true. Let's see here. I need one. Okay, so Marnie is confirming this. I know Marnie that you struggled with this. I know you're working hard. I appreciate the work that you're doing. I totally agree. I need 100% answers. I make doctors risk their homes and cars. I'm guessing that you mean that you would literally pin a doctor down would you bet your kids that you're right about this? Like would you bet your firstborn that I don't have this problem that I'm afraid that I have? The other thing that I'll throw out here on this and this sucks, but you have to start to face these things. Like many people will try to get as much medical reassurance as they can get and it feels good for that day or a couple of days or whatever. And then it wears off because that irrational intolerant fear will pop back in and do the old like, yeah, but what if he missed it? What if the doctor was wrong? What if she did the wrong test? What if the lab was wrong? So that's why it never works to try to get that reassurance never. It sucks. It's a horrible cycle. Let's see here. I had to put up spaces in the link to make it show up. Ooh, maybe Restream was like blocking links in the comments. I don't know. All right, so I'm scrolling down to the bottom here. Please argue with uncertainty on my behalf. I'm tired. No, I'm not arguing with your uncertainty on your behalf. And I know sometimes that makes me feel like, you know, this guy, he's so cold, but like I can't argue with your fear on your behalf. Like I can't seem to find, I can't, and this is common, like if this is you also, I can't seem to win this argument with my brains or Drew, can you argue with it for me? Can you prove to me? Can you give me assurance? Nope. Like it's never gonna work. Yeah, maybe we have the link police going on. I have to check that. Maybe there's a setting. Don't know, I'll look. But thanks, B. Let's see here. People are in the moment and have a value driven life or happier and more accepting of death. Well, maybe, maybe like, maybe. I'm not trying to pick on you, Chris, by the way. And I think it was you that asked the question about schema and it was a good question from a technical standpoint, but I'll put this up on the screen. You gotta be really careful about this sort of stuff. Like you don't know this, people who are in the moment and have a value driven life or happier and more accepting of death. How do you know how much I accept death? I think I live a pretty value, value driven. I don't wanna die. Like I'm not into it at all. Like it's totally not on my repeat list. Like zero of 10, do not repeat. But so you can't ever tell. But again, this is part of that thing where it's like, well, if I read about it, I'll start to learn how to accept death. And I will give you be brutal about this. So the fear of death, like for me, I spent like, I cannot even begin to tell you. And this was f-ing exhausting in the end. But it was, I am going to die one day. I am not gonna live today like it's that day. And I, but I had to start that statement with I am going to die one day. What is the point of living today? Like it's the day and I can stop it. So in the end, it did come down to that. Like, and I had to do that again and again. And I would find myself going down the rabbit hole of like, oh my God, I'm not gonna be here. I'm gonna cease to exist. The lights are just gonna blink out. Trust me, dude, I get those thoughts. They were terrifying and crippling. Then I would start to think them about my kids and everyone I've ever loved, like we're all gonna be gone. What's the point? Oh my God, oh my God. And I, when I would find myself going down that rabbit hole, I'm like, yeah, but that's not happening now. So why am I living like it's happening now? I'm missing everything. So sometimes there's part of that too. And I started disconnecting from, trust me, I was blowing through books on religion and spirituality. I was reading all the philosophies. That's how I learned to love Buddhism and Stoicism and Taoism and it's how I got involved with all those things that I love so much now, but I was trying to find answers in those. And I had to stop trying to find those answers and just like, there is no answer here. I can only do the best I could do today because that's what I have. And it did make a difference. Let's see here. I'm gonna scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll. Yeah, okay, Chris, this is good, man. This is good. I'm gonna leave this comment too. Your life isn't value-driven enough. So therefore I better read more. I better read philosophy. I better learn about people who live value-driven lives. I better learn about being in the moment. I better get really good at mindfulness. Am I doing this right? Am I doing this right? I could be better. Careful about that. Back away from that. It's okay, I'm not value-driven enough. Can I tell you? Like that's just the way it's gonna be. Uh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Let's see here. I'm gonna scroll down to the bottom because I'm almost out of time here. Couple more minutes I can do. Let's see what everybody had to say. How do I get better is a big, big, big topic. Pretty much everything I ever say and write when you put it together is how you get better. And I know you wanna ask that question and I want you to get better, but no one can answer how do I get better as a reply to a comment in a video. Like all of this goes together. It's a big question that has a big answer. And this is why I've written multiple books and I spend so much damn time behind the stupid microphone and all that stuff. So it's a big question. You have to understand the principles of this to be able to answer it. Hopefully that helps, but, um, all right, let's see here. I think, I think we're good. I don't have any others here. I mean, it's tough. I can't answer every single question I would like to, but all right guys, I'm good. Where are we here? 245, I got a jet because I have one other quick call coming up, but I appreciate you coming hanging out. I think the, that's a good, that's good. My question got missed. I guess that's my exposure. Yes, it is. And the answer is no, unfortunately. We would not sell you the webinar only to watch the replay that, that seems like a colossal waste of your money. So no, Cassandra, I would not do that because I am super uncomfortable with taking your money anyway. So if you can't actually be there, I would not charge you just to go and watch replay. Plus you're not in the room. So there's confidentiality there, right? It's really important. I'm sorry, but we'll try to do different times sometimes, but that's the best I could do. We won't let, if you're not in the room and people don't know you're gonna be watching, then it wouldn't be fair to them that you go and watch later, okay? So anyway guys, all right, we'll see you next week. I don't know what we'll get into next week. I'll figure something out. Maybe we'll do another Q and A and we'll talk about some other topic. Who they don't know is, but I actually really love these Mondays. I dig it like you guys hanging out with me and yeah, I will see you next week. Oh, just a reminder, this stays on my YouTube channel. The easiest way to come back and rewatch them is on my YouTube channel and the Recovery Monday playlist where all of them are. So people ask me all the time, how can I see that? Just go to YouTube, subscribe and hit the Recovery Monday playlist. They all stay there. See you guys next week.