 This Asian guy apparently has no problem meeting women at the nightclub But when it comes to finding a girlfriend he has no luck. What could be the issue here? I got to tell you something. You know to get something in the club You only have to be appealing for two hours, but to find some love you have to be appealing for 20 years You guys are romantic. We got to talk about this post this guy was basically like hey guys I'm a Korean American. I live in New York City. I'm 30 years old I glowed up when I was 29 so I've only been sexually attracted to women for one year and When I'm at the nightclub, I am able to get attention from women and even Go home with some however when I go on dates with women who are nurses or potentially pharmacists I often get ghosted for the second date. All my friends are getting married. I'm starting to feel pressure I feel like I have some appeal because I'm doing good at the nightclub But when it comes to dating no girls want me to be their boyfriend Yeah, so guys hopefully you know that he came to the Internet for actual advice so we want to give this an earnest conversation and give it some thought also We have a whole comment section that weighed in as well So please hit that like button check out other episodes of the hot pot boys You know what's really interesting about this I think it says a lot about him as a person which we don't know obviously because it's ready unless you provide photos and all This hyperlinked in and some context or whatever, but that's way too specific That's doing away with that's you know the anonymous nature of Reddit But you know what it has a lot to do with I think Andrew societal dynamics, too But you know what else is happening in society small else else is happening delicious chili oil is being shipped out right now Well, let's get into some more details Andrew He wants to date a girl his own age But a lot of the chicks that he meets at the club are way younger But so he's I guess he wants to marry somebody much older and I'm sure the younger girls of the club They're not in that even thinking about marriage. Yeah. Yeah, I mean basically what this sounds like is kind of sounds like a classic I glowed up to be an F boy to have some F boy appeal now I can talk to chicks at the club because at the club it's a very short-term thinking right only two hours It's just whatever is exciting and fun at the time people are gonna do right But I think something about his interactions with women on these dates must be somewhat of a turnoff And maybe my hunch is not knowing this guy is that he might not be emotionally mature That's my hunch some more details Andrew his hobbies are work in the gym He occasionally likes to trade stocks and his favorite type of girl is the American eyes Asian girl Look so kind of like what like a Chloe Kim Jamie Chung got some I call this the Santa Barbara Sort of whitewash Asian girl look sure. Yeah, I mean, but but he's in New York So we kind of know these I wouldn't say these girls these girls are more of a West Coast girl Yeah, and I would say actually a lot of girls who look like this. I'm not saying all don't even date Asian guys Yeah, well, you know, you know, they might get dragged to the Asian club by their Asian friend Who does the Asian guys anyway? Let's take a look at some potential glow-ups Andrew So we have a reference because we we're never gonna know what this guy looks like Andrew What do we think about this first glow-up from this guy right here with the glasses? Yeah, man That's a decent glow-up. I mean kind of just looks like he took off his glasses and changed his hairstyle And then put on a ring Okay, so that not not too dramatic there. All right. Yeah, it kind of looks like Eastern Chan now boom. What about this one? I Don't even think that's the same person in my opinion to be honest man I'm like doubtful. That's crazy his nose is completely different But man if that is the same person He's that that's one of the best transformations on the internet maybe in the planet earth history Um from January to July this guy. Yeah, I think if you hit the gym hardcore you fix up your diet Kind of got the k-pop. Look I went with the shaggy bangs in front boom this one was pretty dramatic This guy was eating like a hot cow like dim sum or something like that like a mouth It's like a yeah, it's a dumpling in the shape of a mouse. Right right right the coconut dessert. Yeah Yeah, that one is pretty significant especially what they rip now, bro I'm not gonna lie. I could see his v-line through the with the shadows We got some other glow-ups if you look at them here shout out to these guys for making videos about this a lot of These are on YouTube So you can probably watch their whole like process. Yeah, so alright So what we're gonna do is get in some bro talk But I want to preface this and tell me if you agree with this or not when it comes to evaluating guy's situations with girls It's almost like even the best advice is only eight out of ten true because there's so many variables I don't like it when people give guys girl advice and to be like this is ten out of ten gonna happen Right, no one can guarantee what's gonna happen. It all depends on your environment who you are how you executed your personality Yeah, I would compare it to basketball where you leave the you know The bad shooter open in the corner for the game winner You'll give it up but occasionally like 10% of the time they might hit the shot, but you got to live with it Um, do you think it's a pooling issue? Do you think it has to do with the fact that he does live in Manhattan and a lot of girls in Manhattan in my opinion Whether they work as a pharmacist or a nurse they they moved to Manhattan to have high standards Yeah, but also I think it depends so let's say he goes to the club and he meets a lot of like 20 year olds or 20 some year olds like 25 year olds, right? And then he's in his early 30s and he's trying to settle down with a 24 year old in Manhattan That's pretty tough. Well, those girls don't are not even in them Oh, yeah, a lot of girls when they move to Manhattan and they're at that age I'm not saying they're not open to a relationship, but they're not necessarily open to being locked down I mean listen the city is at their fingertips. They want to go out. They want to be social So being locked down with this 30-some year old is not necessarily the first thing on their mind I guess do you think that the linkage between being able to attract women at the club and being able to attract women as a Girlfriend it's always been there But do you think those two things are almost more separate lanes now than they ever have? Listen when it comes to like having fun at the club really if you're good-looking and you're bold and you're tall and Let's be honest Depending on what your standard is you lower your standard a little bit. You can have a lot of fun at the club It's not that hard once you meet those metrics But the girlfriend thing you personality wise your commitment that all comes into play what you have to offer What your holistic life is? Oh, so what are your hobbies? Oh, I like to trade stocks and work out Well, no girl just wants to date a guy who just wants to work out and trade stocks only But at the club it doesn't matter because they're not your girlfriend Right And I noticed that a lot of girls that are sort of the girlfriend type and are looking for a boyfriend Andrew Would you agree with me or not? They like museums art galleries various exhibits pop-ups Gallas depending on you know how social they are what industry they're in and theme friend cooking parties where a lot of couples might Go hang out together. Yeah a couple things. Yeah, um, you don't have to be an actually interesting guy To get attention at the club. That's the truth. You just be like, uh, you know, I like glowed up Yeah, you just have to be bold and be good-looking. Yeah, you got to put yourself out there Um, I do think that girls that live in the suburbs and the girls who live in the city Do have like different lifestyle demands. Yeah, obviously I would say girls who move and live in the suburbs probably they think different on average Are maybe living a little bit more of a traditional life. Obviously women in the city It's different. It's a lot of career women Well, there's a whole meme on tiktok right now of I'm an NYC girly, which is like, you know, I'm an NYC girly I need to do brunch at blah blah blah, right, right, right, right, right Um, I think when you glow up later in life Is this bound to happen because it's not like you were developing the conversational skills or being the boyfriend skills this whole time, right? Like yeah, now you have this exterior appeal But then the engine and the mechanics on the internals they may not have developed as much as the the frame or the shell Yeah, I would say so. I mean listen personality takes a lot longer to develop than muscles do That's a good point. And I do think a lot of Asian guys are you know, maybe particularly people from those type of families You focus a lot on your career and academics early So maybe there may be some blind spots in personal development. Um, also, I just think it's different now I think a different generation of people they act different. Yeah, but honestly if no girls like him and he's an attractive dude I don't know. Maybe he's kind of mean. Yeah, I'm just starting it. You have to these are all options I'm not saying you can't be a nice person. You can't change, but I'm just saying Dude, you got to look at yourself for sure for sure. Absolutely. I think there's external factors as well as a lot of internal factors But how you weigh them? Obviously, we don't know this guy. It's gonna be some combination of the two This guy said a buddy of mine is struggling with the same issue I just think that man, it's just really hard to date nowadays So this guy's almost blaming it on the macro dating environment. Dude, if you're an attractive dude, man, you're You're in a good position. I think a lot of the time a lot of guys say blame it. I'm like, oh, it's hard to date It's like you don't fully know what you want And you're probably not mature to be honest. That's okay, but I'm just saying like Dude, if you got appeal, that's a great place to start This guy said just the fact that you have to come to the internet to ask random people for advice Kind of goes to show you that you already are not getting any good advice in your real life. Oh, man I mean, it's somewhat true. I kind of agree with this comment, right? Because you're saying if you had better more personalized individualized coaching available in your circle Why would you go to the internet? Right? Yeah. No, that's a good point I think the best advice is about looks like hey guys, this is how I look. What should I do? And then just do what the internet says and that's literally the best way this whole thing of like hey How come girls don't like me? Well, I don't know man. You got it. We got to get to know you right You would have to be somebody's psychiatrist and not only psychiatrists like see what their Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday June Cook is like This guy said man, it really just depends. Everybody's mental state is so different when I'm sober on a Monday I might research the best lamp on Amazon for an hour for a $50 lamp But then when I'm drunk at the club on Saturday and my friend asked me to split a $5,000 table tab I might also say yes. Wow. It's because my mental state is so different So basically he this guy was just pointing out like how can you compare the club? Like where somebody just you just everybody's looking for two hours of fun versus somebody looking for their husband for 20 years or More of fun exactly. Exactly. No, that's a good point Somebody just said man. That's what happens when you're a late bloomer f-boy. Yeah No, I agree. That's probably mostly true. Um, what do you think about somebody was saying? Yeah You're pulling your you're buying BMWs But the the price of different BMWs based on the mileage and how the BMWs look is so different No, this guy's talking about like obviously different types of girls, right? He's comparing them to you know, I'll say this first I'm not saying it's a great analogy. If you ever look up the prices of BMWs You would not believe how much they vary right the second a BMW is off warranty is like man I don't know drops like 30% Somebody said you probably come off poorly in conversation You know, there's probably a mismatch between your profile in real life and Professional women generally want somebody with a similar or more realistically higher level of career success. I like it. Yeah This is a good comment. Yeah, somebody said you might be boring and he goes. Yeah, I admit that I'm boring I'm not Jimmy O. Yang or Kevin Hart. Kill me. Sue me then. I'm not the most hilarious guy I don't even know if you got to be that. No, I don't think you have to be funny, man I feel like acting like Kevin Hart or Jimmy O. Yang that more appeals to like non-Asian women Not even like the type of Asian girls that like Asian guys. They wouldn't even want somebody that That much crazy expression Yeah, man just based off what this guy says man, I don't know. I think he needs to be like in a He needs to find some like bro circles that have actual good advice I know sometimes some Asian dudes are kind of like Ronan's where they glow up and then they're kind of like Not always used to being in a big group of guys So then they can kind of get attention from women in a nightclub sense, but they're not full like Team players are like Fully grown people. I'm only assuming this because this is going off of what this guy told us You know, man, it's kind of like wasn't a Wolverine Wolverine He's like rogue until then he signed up with the X-Men Before he was just kind of a little Ronan Somebody said hey, man, I don't know what you're complaining about Sounds like you you're doing okay to me like what do you what do you feel so much pressure to like? Fit in with all your other friends that are getting married and having kids right now Yeah, I mean to be honest what'd you glow up for you glowed up to have some fun, right? But now that you have the fun and you have some appeal you have to start thinking about you know what Women who think long-term would want right long-term thinking women ultimately Andrew We don't know much about this guy, you know, people aren't throwing their two cents in possibly I don't even know if he's neurotypical, you know Sometimes people are on the spectrum and never got diagnosed because it's like a one out of five or whatever I'm just throwing it out there. What what could possibly be wrong with this guy because this guy's a Chad in the club And he's doing bad for love. I don't know what's wrong with him. You know, you can't diagnose him but I think what he should do is a I Don't know if you had this conversation with his bros yet But he needs to have this conversation with his bros and like I think there was a comment that said hey You need to go talk to your married friends about this the friends who know you and who are also married and know what a relationship takes Right And yeah, I think you got to ask somebody who's like kind of been through it as well Yeah, like not somebody who just married their high school sweetheart. All right I'm gonna date in around somebody who's seen the reps like a veteran like an expert in the game Yeah, I do think that you know, it's really interesting Andrew I think dating in the wide-open mainstream market It is really interesting as an Asian guy because the dynamics are like changing so quick right now So this guy he like I said, he might he might have been more focused on STEM subjects software engineering Something a lot earlier and it's very difficult to develop the the IQ Improvement or progression without some real coaching. So I think that if you for sure got some blind spots I don't know if he has any sort of physical disability that prevents him from developing in those Sociality like muscle type areas But I would say this watch interviews and it may or may not be too late to be honest when you're 29 30 You know who I like that are classic American guys that people really like Andrew Matthew McConaughey for white guys and Denzel Washington for black guys Like I'm saying just watch their interviews. I feel like they're so they're they're intelligent They're well respected and they've sort of like just seen a lot in life So that's my general recommendation in terms of like maybe like If you just need to adopt something that I think is gonna play well in America. Yeah. Yeah, because I definitely think that Sometimes if people treat America like it's Asia because you know in Asia if you have like a really good job and you don't necessarily have a fully flesh personality That might be okay But I think in America people are looking for something that's like anchored in more of like a I don't know like a holistic humanistic approach Yeah, not just the club guys. It's different. They're looking for love. Yeah. Yeah He could just be weird. I mean you can kind of hide it in the club for hours at a time But you know when the club is dark and everybody's just into one thing anyway, there's just hyper focus They're kind of you're saying he got the bangs across the eyes and it's got her Playing the EDM music who knows man. Anyway guys, let us know what you guys think of his situation in the comments section below Not saying that we know not trying to dox him But let us know what you think are possible scenarios. Of course nobody knows we encourage the debate until next time We the hop hop boys we out peace