 Welcome back to my channel guys. Today we're going to talk about moving kids abroad. What age is a good age? Can you move your teens abroad without killing them? You're not going to want to miss this episode. Here we go. One of the most common questions that I get from my clients. So I help people if you're thinking about moving to New Zealand or moving abroad, reach out to me and I sit down with people and just kind of talk them through all of the decisions and all that kind of thing. But like one of the biggest questions I get is like what age is the best age to bring my kid? How do I tell them that we're coming? Am I going to ruin my teenager if I move them abroad in their teen years? These are the questions that we're going to tackle today. Okay, so if you don't know my story at all, let me just kind of fill you in. So we are a family of six. So I have four children that we have moved from the US to New Zealand about eight years ago. Now we haven't been here the entire time. So we first came and stayed for two years and I had four kids ages 11 down to two. And then we went back home and we lived there for two years with no intention of coming back. There's I'll link the video that tell the whole story above here. And then we moved back here when my oldest I think was going on 16. And my youngest was, you know, just starting kind of first grade, five, six years old. And so I had kind of all in between. So my two older kids were high school, middle school, and then two in primary school. And so this is kind of my experience. And so I'm just going to share like my kids experience, my experience with this and my thoughts on this have changed a lot. So if you have seen previous videos of me talking about it, well, you know, people change, they grow, they have different perspectives, because now I have two that are out of the house, one that's finishing uni and one is just kind of starting. And that's kind of the ages that I'm at now. And I'm sure I will have a different perspective probably when they're 30. And they've gone through therapy. No, in all seriousness, there is ages of moving your kids abroad that I think are better than others. So when we first came here and my oldest was 11 and under those are the best years. Those years are for the from the child's and I'm not a psychologist. I'm not a doctor. Like this is just my experience. Those years, the kids world is yours. You know, their family, their, their, their main family unit. And sometimes that includes grandparents or aunts, depending on how things are set up, that's fine. But like your main family unit, if they're together and you're moving anywhere, whether it's just a different state or abroad, I don't think it matters. Like it's great. In fact, I found I moved originally because I wanted my kids to have like a bonding experience. I want to have a really close family and it happens because when you're moving somewhere where nobody knows anybody and nobody knows how to do anything, then you suddenly have to work together and you suddenly appreciate skills that you didn't realize others had because you're kind of all put into the same situation and you actually grow close and you work together and it's great. And I highly recommend it. Whether it's, you know, moving to the next town or the next side of the world, like we did, I think ages like probably 12 and under are probably best. When we moved the second time, I knew it would be hard. It was a devastatingly hard decision. And you know, especially with my daughter being in high school, I used to actually say, and this is true, I used to actually say when I was here, like, well, we had to do it now because I would never move my kids when they're teens. And so here I am, moving them when they're teens in middle school years for my son, which is probably hard. Now he isn't uh how I would say overly verbal. So I don't totally know what it was like for him because I don't know that he's totally told me or even had the words to express that he probably will as he grows older and that's fine. And that's just the stage that he's in right now. But my oldest daughter has had lots of thoughts on it. When she came when she was 16, she had like a boyfriend and a close group of friends. So it was hard. She wouldn't admit at the time that it was harsh. She's like, it's fine because they all loved it here in New Zealand. At least they knew where they were going. They already knew that they loved it here. But of course that's hard. And you know, I don't know. I would say that the honest answer for you is that I kind of changed my perspective kind of often because I have different kids at different ages with totally different personalities with total different needs and wants. And so unfortunately, I know you probably just want an answer, but it depends on the child. Like my oldest did fine. In fact, when she left for university, she actually thanked us and told me that she felt that as a family, that it was the right decision and that, you know, has given me immense peace to me. But like, she only knows what she knows at that point. And so like, we're just always kind of adjusting. And I think that I think that as parents, especially in 2023, we overthink a lot of decisions. I think we just overthink everything. We worry about everything. And just imagine the hardships that our ancestors gone through. And they didn't really have choices. And it was hard. And the kids worked hard and everybody chipped in. And it was just, you know, they didn't overthink it. This is how it is. And so I guess my advice to you is that you have one life and that you're living it. The parents are living it. The children have a choice when they're adults to live their life the way that they want to live it. And so I would say that if you're feeling like a calling or a need or desire and just dying to try it, if your kids are 12 and under, no question, do it. If they're in their teen years, I would say it depends on the child. It depends on like maybe like I found that a lot of my clients really kind of dove in to come here after COVID because kids were already disconnected from school. They had lost a lot of their friends. It was, and then when they went back, it was weird. And so it was kind of like they're like kids were like, yeah, let's go, let's get the heck out of here. And so there's that. And so it all kind of depends. So if you're going through this and you're thinking about it, reach out to me and book an appointment with me as I'd be happy to talk you through kind of like your individual things. Like I could hit on a million different areas. I've had plenty that have had success. I'm trying to think of, I'm thinking of any of my clients that it was actually like an actual bad idea and they went home. I know people have gone home. None of them like that I've talked to just more of like heard on the word on the street kind of thing. Is it New Zealand? It all depends where you're going. Like I know I've had friends that go into countries that are really hard, hard to assimilate like Japan, you know, that's much harder. Countries like New Zealand, our people are pretty great. They, you know, when an American's in the room, you're the coolest one there. So it takes a lot of the pressure off. But like I think if you're speaking of English isn't your first language, there's so many factors. But I would say definitely as a general rule of thumb, it's harder when they're older, when they're teens for sure. It's a big adjustment. And it all depends. Like there's a lot at play here. Like a lot of people are moving their kids because they feel unsafe. They don't want their kids to go to the schools in the US because of all of the, you know, of the violence and the school shootings. And fair enough, like there's just a lot of factors at play here. And so I guess my suggestion is to not overthink it. If you come and it ends up being a disaster and you can always go back. You can always, you know, we tried and we learned and you just never know if you don't try. And sometimes learning that the, if the answer isn't how you thought it would be, that's okay too. I didn't think the answer would be that I'm living in New Zealand now permanently. Like I never in a million years when I first moved what I have thought that I had a lot of people say to me, only you're never coming back. And I was like, okay, it's like it's absurd to think about me not living at home, right? In my home world. But you know, you change and things change. And so for the good or the bad, you can come and you can visit and that sort of thing. A lot of people, a lot of my clients come and visit. And I think that that gives them a lot of insight, bringing the kids, having the kids react, just asking the questions, just ask the questions. Like these are big decisions. These are big life decisions. And you don't need to overthink it. It's if you go and you end up spending a lot of money and doing it, it's just money. It'll kill you though, when you're older, and you have regret, because you didn't try something. I mean, if you want to find that out, just talk to go to a retirement village. And the number one thing people will say is they're most frustrated in their life when they look back at it is regret. So let's live a life with no regret. I'm not going to continue to talk in this video, although I probably have lots to say when we talk about kids, if you want to post your questions, I'm happy to answer about just moving kids, schools, you know, simulating into the culture, making friends. It is different here. I can speak to New Zealand. I can speak to the US, you know, in the US. If you're from other countries or moving to other countries, I'll do the best that I can help because I think it's not a different when I talk to people from that have moved from different countries in different situations. You know, there's obviously cultural differences, but a lot of it's the same. We're all humans making decisions, moving through life together. So subscribe, like this video if it was helpful to you and I will see you guys next week.