 Number two here in League, shout out to High Five for having us out, shout out to my team, shout out to everybody that came to Stylers yesterday, we fucking shut it down, we are getting into yet another international clash for the weekend, MC on my right hand side, you know the name, my dude from Liverpool in Uendo, make some noise, shout out to the side, can't wait to introduce him, from all the way down under Australia, first time on Don't Flop UK, my man Dundee, make some noise, shout out to the side, every time you know we go, we chose off camera that Dundee is going to go first, three rounds, whatever you want bro, let's go. In Uendo you're fucking nuts. But just because I'm calling you a nuts before you react too quick with your temper, let me remind you we're to pass like a history lesson, like when you talked about someone's daughter getting fingered you peasant and accused Bobby Rex have been a nuts but didn't think we remember but I'm pretty sure that that was a hypocritical ever, seen as you ain't talking out of ten if you say your chick is a seven mate, you ain't in a position to ever call someone a kitty fiddle of breader when you and Decoy probably go catfishing together. Obviously he's just going to flip it. Hey mate, you having a bloody laugh? Just because you flipped something? Doesn't change who to fuck you up. He's going to flip it when the cop Australian in the back seat of an undercover cop. He's going to flip it when you're in the courtroom getting sentenced by the judges bro. Oh, he's going to flip it when they lock you up in bars and some divo looking motherfucker starts to embrace you when he's loving arms and pulls out his dick and tells you to suck it hard and you just stand around and say something smart like, well, come on, just suck me up the ass, let's start with proper sickly boo. Actually, thank you, fuck kids. So that alone will get you some lenience. You just tell jokes about fucking kids like an edgy comedian, but if you're wondering why everyone's getting offended so easily, well it's because you have all the essential ingredients of a sexual deed. You stick with your dick and your head looks like the end of your penis. So when it comes to the females, you're just extra mischievous. Like, you take girls out to dinner by the end of the evening and you just end up on feeding them all these beverages freely until that memory's leaving them like dementia is creeping in, sleeping them before they get drooled like a dental anesthetist. Fucking slave bag. I can't, you try saying mate. What's your idea of romance? Taking a girl on a blind date, right? You don't want to fuck you unless they get a nice pay rate. These bitches the whiner with his baby D like Dada. Acting like he's something special to all the sluts he vets. And in reality, he's having unprotected, disgusting sex with ugly skits that open up their chubby legs and their pus infected cunts and fests the room with a pungent stench of covered eggs and sprung his breath. So that's the type of shit that makes me want to smack you in the face. Open the crowd, boo you off the stage and don't react to what you say. But they don't care. It was treated like the last time you got some action on a date because you often sleep on him and they would just pretend like they're actually awake. Let's go. Now just for even turning up here today, you mates have got a fucking cheek. Dumb D. You left out my fucking accumulator the other week. Don't even get me started, lad. It's the Dunflop 8th birthday weekend. I didn't even want to be a part of that. Be ass with that. So I can't believe I'm even studying with bars to rap. Because when I said to her get me the Aussie, I thought I was having a fucking heart attack. See when I was doing my research, I thought I would have had a couple of great fans. But I couldn't think up any dates. I did nothing but waste time. I spent weeks in sales just looking for something to make rhyme. But I couldn't find any angles. So fuck it, I'm coming with straight lines. Now what's happening, Leeds? Now P. Soldier told me I should call him a bumber-clap pussy boy. But I'm from Liverpool, so I just call you the fucking Muppet, lad. Don't even fucking start me, you little mug, I'm hard. Trust me, you don't want no trouble now. Think Tony Bellew, Liam Smith, Paddy the baddie. I'm just another scouts who punches hard. Davy, from Hobart in Tasmania now. That's hardly the main street to Philly. If you think he keeps a milli, you're being silly. He ain't sold a drug in his life. So I've got to teach him how scouts are slang like Kerry and Billy. See, I don't even know why they let these fakes debut. Me, I had the tough, bagging up grams of stuff. Man was just slangin' drugs to make it through. So the bud that you're smokin', that's the haze we grew. And you can get a box office like it's pay-per-view. 99% of bottle wrappers are faggots. If I think with all the lies and stories, I'm a real guy, I've had to rise in court in life to Jordies. But all of those years of being around drugs led to addiction, which in turn led to lack of preparation and writing poorly. Fuck me if it wasn't for cocaine, I would have had that title like Tyson Fury. Now after a long night of getting bummed, you walk like you've been on a boat. Kidder, getting your arse all filled up with semen isn't a reason to gloat. You love sneaking with gloats and sneaking off home without leaving a note. Basically what I'm sayin' is that tattoo's not the first time you've taken D to the throat. McDon D. Motherfucker at Corks danglin' round his head when he boarded the flight. He touched down in England and went for a walk in the night. Tourism at four in the morning, he saw all the sights. He bumped into a group of huddies who started talkin' some shite. But he stood his ground fame, it didn't cause him a fright. He should have just handed over his wallet, but he was all for a fight. Now most people would have saw their own life flashed before their own eyes, but he just stood there and went, huh, you called that a knife? That never happened. Now that never happened. And if you believe that little story, well, you're slacking. Cos if you'd have been like, you called that a knife, you'd have been like, yeah, and stabbed him in the face. Yo, you bottle paddy-baker and shuffle tea, but neither of those posh little gay boys were fuckin' me. I'm a whole different breed of British. I won't make you a cup of tea. It's people like me who put the fuckin' cons into this fuckin' cons of me. Look, bruv, I know life can be hard when you're broke and depressed, but you must know you don't fuck up when your home is a tent. Faced with that tough decision, do I pay for coke or for rent? Racks up a gram of fucker. Looks like I'm going homeless again. And you think it's okay because you're known as a vet. No, motherfucker. You're just known as a mess. You are known as the bloke at the end of most of the events with his nose in the air like he's broken his net trying to catch on a line that went over his head. Fuck you, young flame, you're livin' cleanly. Look at him. Such an addicted fiend that any minute he could have a disagreement with his inner demons and started ministering intravenous milliliters of liquids feedin' until that shit is peakin' more than River Phoenix on the Florida Viper Room, havin' bitcher seizures. I can't say you off the drugs when you look like you probably just scoffed at a dodgy snuff and you're about to start scratchin' at your skin for microscopic bugs and just to take the edge off you'll get so sloppy drunk that you're trying to understand this. Sorry, cut. It's like havin' a conversation with Stallone at the end of Rocky 1. Fuckin' choke in all your battles because you're such a drug-addicted mess. I knew this spud cunt was a fuckin' junkie. Guess that explains why I always shits the band. Your fuckin' birthstone is crystal meth. Your fuckin' birthstone is crystal meth. You know, if a hanging with smacked out stripper sketch it'll lift their dress and give you a head if you're talkin' horse, I miss the end. So I think it's pretty obvious, Mike. He needs some honest advice. It's probably time you got your priorities right. See, I know you say off of your dial from choppin' the white but when you hip-rock bottom in life you can't just pull a note out of your bloody pocket and try to snort up the motherfuckin' poverty line. It's like, you've been doin' coke since in utero. Since in utero. I am sure your mother took drugs. I'm fuckin' flamin' on this pussy-hole because you're a fuckin' cook cunt. Okay, let's just drag you around. I mean, it's like the drugs have become a party with all the chemicals that you burn and sniff. So I put innuendo in a bag and sell it back to him for 30 quid. Talkin' shit before the battle. He was like, well, if you ask me I'll be takin' it, obviously. In fact, now, fuck that. I'll be makin' a mockery. But you know what, guys? I really hate the hypocrisy because he'll probably drop a bar about me rapin' or wallabying everybody here on the guy who does the fuckin' Australian commentary. If I ever took an L to this fuckin' bell, well, I'd never live it down. So I just sniffed a mound of cocaine. There's a big amount in those veins. But let me chill for now. Everybody's simmered down. I deserve a bigger offer. So pink revolver when I spin around and this bottle gets seen everywhere because I'm a killer clown. The man know the flow's sick. But I'm not into those quips. That bar was actually so shit and a lot more fuckin' relevant back when I wrote it. Now listen here, Dundee. Mate, hear the full-on tit. If I ever meet your wife, I'm rapin' the ugly bitch because I don't like your rat name. You should change it. It should be this. You need to replace the D in Dundee with an E because you're an Australian full of shit and you're takin' the fuckin' piss. I'm not even sayin' I'm tryin' to be funny. But if he changes the D to an E, well, he suits that Dundee. He disgusts me because he is a fuckin' druggy. What the fuck were you on when you brought a case of that? It looked like me brand. You had a stripe and then went for a joint. It's ironic how you brought somebody called Case and then went round in circles to get to the point. And you told Shuffle Tea that your mother-in-law would tear a box of nowhere and then snap his jaw. Well, she's dead, man, I'm sure. But if she turns up here today, I'll end up as your new step-dad-in-law. Your mother-in-law is not a bad man. She's never had to live a life hard. Kidding, she wouldn't last five minutes in a bingo by ass. Imagine bein' an ass scouts beard gettin' fake big on strap. Evil lady at the door and you can't pay a back sheen about that long. Shuffle Tea's funny scheme about how long it took to get at us. So tell me, Dundee D, was it really as long as Shuffle said it was? You should've copped some valium and popped a couple settin' off cos that's a long way to travel and I don't want it somethin' better cos I'm not that fuckin' clever and I'm not that good and never can be bothered puttin' effort so I cock up and ain't gettin' lost, Lord. So you come from afar, fly out here and think you're some sort of star but when I choke and don't give a fuck that's the ultimate par. I guarantee it's some point in my thread I'll fuck up a bar and suddenly start freestylein' about boomin' your ma. Enjoy that. So you can city yourself to be a bit of a tough can, do ya, buck? Someone tell this fuckin' asshole to relax a bit. Jungle juice. You try intimidatin' me, boy. I promise you'll catch these punches, too. Bloody old Meg Ryan in Top Gun. You're fuckin' goose. I mean, no wonder he's such a trouble dude. That's like kickin' a man when he's down with all this shit that you've already struggled through. If I say I wanna push him over to Edge, go all Amanda-todd cos I'm makin' fun of you and have that body weighin' heavy on the soul like sprungy shoes. You're a washed up drug addicted scouser and you're livin' a fuckin' tense as well. And with all that self-deprecating shit you spit, we can tell that you're depressed as hell. We ain't need to put him on suicide watcher, worry about his mental health. Cos it's kinda hard to neck yourself on ya, and you ain't gotta neck yourself on ya. You're a no-neck can. How's that work? He couldn't choke if you left the lad hangin', but he manages to win every one of his rap battles, but that's how he has it. You slippin' round me, then you catch damage cos I kicked him rounds on point like back at him. Oh fuck if I lose this battle. Oh give a fuck if I get murdered, right? If you take the win with everything you've been with, been throughin', mate, and you deserve it, mate. Cos if I lose, couple days, I'll get the early fly back to my baby girl and wife havin' a perfect time hangin' in the surfin' shawmels or dirts and wine while you have to fuck off back your 10 a month Dirt and Grime and Merseyshop. I'll lose this battle. I care if I get murdered, right? With all this shit you're already up against, if you take the win then you deserve it, mate. Cos if I lose, couple days, I'll catch the early fly back to my baby girl and wife havin' a perfect time hangin' in the surfin' shawmels or dirts and wine while you have to fuck off back to the Dirt and Grime and Merseyshop. So basically, when I lose, you still gettin' 30 by your worthless life. So you better be real glad I made the trek to this event and I'm here but saying you'll beat me is like saying your exes don't have sex with your peers, bro. I wanted to fuck them best up in here, so I'm respectin' a fear done, so respect respect is true. In that cringe-worthy dead round against Harry Baker, you said that your life was saved by this battle shit. You did the whole round about how you used it to change when you had the kid and now you play happy families with the lady you married and the baby she got in sick. How could I ever hate on that? That is big. That's amazing, man. That is it. You're a responsible father now. No more blazin' in bags of piff, breakin' up grams of sniff or takin' the massive hits. You said you used the raid of the grafters, the cribs waitin' with a mask in shift and you were getting to just crack some ribs so gone are the days of stayin' up late on a massive binge, raisin' a glass of gin, wasted your face with a massive grin and not to mention how much weight that you've had to shift because, mate, you were fat as shit. And now you're in shape. You look great. I mean, man, it's ripped. It must be amazing to be able to tell the family that you're going to the UK for the battle trip and now you're gonna be the next Australian rapper to make it now. That is big. But tell me, what the fuck do you actually even gain when you go away? And I know we ain't payin' this man a quid. It's not meant to be funny. I know we ain't payin' this man a quid. You ought to beg for spare chains to get flights from Tasmania and a place you can have a kid. You ain't makin' your family shit. In fact, you may as well have a spliff. Have a couple of spacecakes. Let the weight pile back on a bit because at the end of the day, you never change. You're a massive prick. Trust me, the same old ways and the habits stick. You said that your life was saved by this battleship. But then what the fuck are you watchin' it goin' back there with? Now, judging from the lack of reaction, that wasn't very good. I didn't think it'd wake me self either but Rob Wilson said, I'm a 29-year-old fat, bald, white scouset who's currently partaking in a rap battle against an Australian what the hell am I doing? So you said battle rap saved your life when mine's been potentially ruined. It's not meant to be funny. I was recently shit being getting out of control and while I weighed up my names, I've been going down in the polls. I'm thankful for all the love and support but I'm fucking sick of being handed by trolls. Battle rap doesn't bring me happiness anymore. If anything, it makes me feel down and alone and fuck your dead against Harry Baker because I've got a cringe-worthy dead round that we own. You're not the only one who's had to battle with addiction. Just these past few months, I've been standin' in the kitchen, I've been scratching, I've been itchin'in me. I can't handle this affliction and it gets to that point where I have to just go fishing. Right now, I much prefer angling to battling and I've achieved a lot through rapping and for that, I am proud but I can't escape the fact that the buzzer once had his dying down. They say all good things must come to an end and I'm starting to think that the time is now so live on stage, I'm retiring. Wow, it's goodbye for now and this couldn't have been too hungry I'm season a rival bout. This was just in Uendall saying thank you all for the memories and takin' this final bout. Tired of my mom!