 The Jack Benny program presented by Lucky Strike quality of product is essential to continuing success Exhibit a lucky strike fine tobacco is what counts in a cigarette and year-in year-out always lucky strike means fine tobacco Lucky strike presents the man who knows Colonel Hart Shoemaker ace tobacco auctioneer of Lebanon, Kentucky has sold over 300 million pounds of tobacco leaf Recently he said I've seen the makers of lucky strike by real quality tobacco fine ripe mild tobacco Yes, I've seen him do it at thousands of auctions for mown cigarette I picked lucky at market after market at auction after auction Independent tobacco experts like Colonel Shoemaker can see the makers of lucky strike Consistently select and buy that fine that light that naturally mild tobacco remember LSMFT LSMFT lucky strike means fine tobacco and fine tobacco means real deep down smoking enjoyment for you So smoke that smoke of fine tobacco lucky strike. Yes next time you buy cigarettes ask for lucky strike So round so firm so fully packed so free and easy on the draw Starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston Phil Harris Rochester Dennis Day and yours truly Don Wilson Ladies and gentlemen for many years as an announcer It has been my privilege to introduce a number of very important people But never have I felt the pride that is glowing within me today as I introduced the gracious and beloved star of our show Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it gives me extreme pleasure to present to you a man Who's very benevolence has earned for him the admiration respect and everlasting love of millions And here he is Jack Benny Thank you. Thank you. Hello again. This is Jack Benny talking and Don that was the most beautiful introduction I've ever received the most touching. I mean, whatever made you think of it There are only 27 more shopping days till Christmas What and I don't want any more of those lousy shoelaces. Oh Don You didn't like the shoelaces I gave you last Christmas. No, I didn't Well, what was the matter with them? I mean, were they too long or too short or or what? Well, Jack now, I've been with you 13 years and I didn't think a pair of shoelaces was an appropriate Christmas gift. Oh Well Don you silly boy I mean if you didn't like the shoelaces you could have exchanged them for a box of Kleenex or Dental flaws Anyway, Don I do appreciate the fact come in Telegram for Jack Benny I'll take it boy. Just a minute. Here's a tip for you. Yes, sir. I wonder who this telegram you can go boy I gave you your tip, but mr. Benny these ration stamps aren't good anymore Don't be so sure My bicycle was paid for I'd punch him right in the nose Go be nice to people. Jack. Who's the telegram from wait. I open it Well Dear Jack, please be at the studio tomorrow morning at 9 o'clock for further discussions Signed Jack Warner discussions about what didn't I tell you Don the Warner Brothers have finally decided to make that picture You know the story of my life. It's going to be a hello Jack. Oh, hello, Mary. I'm Mary. I've got wonderful news Sorry I've got I've got wonderful news Warner Brothers is gonna make the story of my life. Gee that's well What gave them the idea? Well after I made the horn blows at midnight. They received thousands of letters demanding the life of Jack Benny I wonder how they meant that anyway They've done a lot of work on the story. You mean they finished the script already. Yes, Mary And it's going to be great. You know, there's a lot of action in the opening scene You see in the opening scene I've just been born and as the doctor leaves the house my father shoots him in the back It's really very exciting say Jack when they made the Jolson story They had Larry Parks play the part of Al Jolson now in your picture. Who's going to play you? Well, we don't know yet, but to portray the real me They're considering Errol Flynn. I guess it's the way I've lived, you know Then there's Then there's also the possibility that they might use Clark Gable Well Jack as long as it's a story of your life. Why don't you play it yourself? Well, we thought of that Mary, but we felt we needed someone who was attractive to women, you see Oh Jack, you're just as attractive to women as Clark Gable any day. Well, I wouldn't say that Mary I mean that's sweet of you, but you see Clark is a pretty handsome guy, you know Oh, you're just being modest. You don't hear women talk about you like I do now Mary stop. Well, y'all I mean, I'll admit I'm not homely but But what what did the women say about me you asked for it brother? Never mind. You want to know something smarty. It wasn't so long ago. I had dozens of girls all around me That's when you were playing with Phil Spitalny Listen to me still owes me two weeks salary Anyway, I say mr. Benny when I sing my song do you mind? Oh, hello Dennis. Hello, mr. Benny when I sing my song Do you mind if I do you just get in yeah, mr. Benny when I sing my song Do you mind how do you feel kid fine? Good? I broke my leg this morning, but I'm all right now Dennis just go ahead and sing your song. Well, aren't you gonna ask me how I broke my leg? No, I'm not now Go ahead with your song. My mother was right. You don't want me to get laughs Not on silly things like that. Now go ahead and sing. Okay, but do you mind if I dedicate the song to my new girl? Oh, you have a new girl. What's her name? Thelma Gray Hollywood 6265 Dennis you didn't have to give mr. Benny her phone number. I might as well. He'll force it out of me later Now wait a minute kid. When did I ever threaten you to get a girl's telephone number? Remember in New York when you took me to the top of the Empire State Building? Jack you did he held me over the edge by my suspenders Well, you're lucky you didn't go out with that girl. You still got your watch But this girl's different mr. Benny. Oh you you really like her ain't yeah last week was her birthday So I took around to all the clubs. We went to seros the macambo slapsy maxis really how those places stay in business I'll never know. We were the only ones in there Dennis what what night did you go? Oh? Nice oh for heaven's sake go ahead and sing kid. Okay, Hollywood 6265. I must remember that this time I'll leave my watch home Say Mary aren't you gonna ask me how I broke my leg stop being silly now. What did I start to say? Oh, yeah, you know Mary I've been giving it a lot of thought and I don't know just who would be the right one to play me in the Life of Jack Benny. Well, how about Van Johnson? Well, he's good Mary, but he isn't quite old enough You know how about Cornell wild? No, no, he isn't old enough either. How about John Wilkes Booth? Oh Stop John Wilkes Booth. He broke his leg too Dennis aren't you gonna ask me how no, I'm not But Mary I think gee I don't know. Hi you Jackson. What's that dreamy look on your face? Oh, hello Phil I'm thinking you know Warners is gonna make a picture the story of my life We're trying to figure out who would be the right personality to play me Why don't you play it yourself Jackson? You're one of the greatest actors in show business, huh? And coming from me You know what that means? Yeah, there are only 27 more shopping days till Christmas But getting the right guy is really a problem. Hey Jackson. I got an idea. Why don't you let me play the part? I'd be terrific. I'm handsome. I got personality sex appeal. What more do you want? Well Phil think it over dad I'm alive. I'm sharp. I'm a sort of a Mickey Rooney with just enough Roddy McDowell to hold me down Filzy boy, do you think for one moment? That I'd let you play you think for one moment I'd let you play the lead in the picture as important as this one. You'd be drinking all the time. What's wrong with that? Well, you made the horn blows at midnight and you were sober That's of the preview Anyway, hello, Levy. How you done? Hello Phil. Hi you Dennis. How you feel kid? I broke my leg this morning, but I'm all right now Just call me John Wilkes Booth. Dennis keep quiet Now Phil, Phil, I hate to be the one to suggest it, you see, but it's time for a number from your corny band Corny band? Apparently you haven't heard. Heard what? We were invited to go to England and play for the Royal Wedding The Royal Wedding? Yes, sir, right in Birmingham Palace Phil, that's Buckingham. If there's a buck in it, you'll know it Right now come on Phil. Let's have a band. Oh, wait a minute Jack. Don't you think it's about time we do a commercial? Don, we're not going to do a commercial this week. Go ahead Phil. But Jack. Don, I'm running this show Go ahead Phil. But Jack the quartet worked on it all week I don't care if they did. Go ahead Phil. And there's a part in it where you play the violin. Hold it Phil What what were you saying Don? Well the sportsmen are going to do the poet and peasant over here And there's a place in it where you do a violin solo Well, that sounds pretty good Yeah, I had no idea this was going to happen guys. This is really a surprise. I'm surprised and button your shirt and take out your violin Okay, Don, when do I come in? Just watch the boys. They'll give you your cue. Good. The poet and peasant over here. Take it boys Now I forget it next Thursday on Thanksgiving I want you all to come over to my house for a turkey dinner. Turkey? Gee, I wonder if I could have one of the legs Sure kid. Why? I broke mine this morning Jackson, are you sure it's gonna be a turkey? Of course, I'm sure why well last year you said you ran over a turkey and when we bit Into it it turned out to be a buzzer Well, it's a real turkey this time isn't it Mary? Yeah, I was with Jack when he bought it. That's right In fact yesterday. I called him and suggested that he throw a Thanksgiving party for the whole gang It must have been a good mood because he went for the idea right away. I'm glad you called and it's a good suggestion Huh? Fine hurry over. We'll go shopping. Goodbye All right, yes, sir. Yes, sir Where have you been? I'm the garage trying to fix up the car when you hit that truck last week you bent the axle Did you fix it? Uh-huh, but I had a lot of trouble Trouble yeah, when I loosened the nut that holds the axle the lights fell off Oh, so I took a G then I took off the wire that holds the radiator and use it to tighten the steering wheel And the radiator fell off. No the fenders All four of them all five. We only have four fenders. How about the one we hold over our head when the rain? I thought we used the side door for that. No, we use the side door to close the trunk in the back Gee, I must have hit that truck harder than I thought say boss. When are they got the motors in the rear in 1948? Well, congratulations. You're a year ahead of them What you mean the motors in the back of my car about 10 feet. Oh stop making things up Now Rochester, I'm gonna have the gang over Thursday for Thanksgiving dinner. What's in the refrigerator the morning paper a magazine of your glasses? What when that little light goes on you ain't wasting it. I'm not talking about that I mean food for Thanksgiving. Well, we've got everything except a turkey. You want me to go out and buy one? No miss Livingston is coming over and we're going to that must be her now so long Rochester will be back in about an hour Gee Mary such a nice day. I'm glad we decided to walk to the market. Yeah, I'm glad Thanksgiving will be here soon It's one of our nicest holidays. Yeah, and this year we should all be so thankful I know I am even I wake up in the morning. I hear the birds singing. I've got the beautiful moonlight at night I get all the fresh air I need all the sunshine. I want so far. It hasn't cost you a dime. Oh Mary look hey, Mary look look over there those boys playing football They're nice kids Mary, you know the bigger one is Stevie Kent his folks live on the corner Every time I go out for a walk. I stop and talk with them. Hey Stevie throw the ball over here That was a good catch. I got a hand it to you Mary. How did you do it? I don't know, but you can buy me new girdle for Christmas Okay, you don't marry UCLA could have used you yesterday Yes, sir Say mr.. Benny. This is my friend Joey. Hello Joey. Hello, mr.. Benny. You know Joey mr. Benny was all-american fullback when he played football for Yale Broke the hundred-yard dash record when he was in the Olympic games Gee when Jack did you tell these and mr. Benny pitched two no-hit games in the world series? New York Yankees. Oh, I was just lucky Say mr.. Benny tell Joey about the time you knocked out Jack Dempsey. Oh It was nothing you see it it happened in the first round We were mixing it in the center of the ring when suddenly Dempsey caught me with a powerful right hook to my chin It took me a little I realized he was dangerous. So I I decided to end it quickly I shot to left to his midsection crossed a right to the jaw and down He went I didn't mean to hit him so hard. They know he was he was out for over an hour Well so long kids we got to get going You know Mary. I was just oh shut up Only tell the kids stories like that because it helps them that they you know if they have a hero to look up to some hero Anyway, I just tell the kids harmless little stories. I don't I don't exaggerate too much Oh, look, there's there's a little Georgie Foster. Isn't he cute? He's only four Look at them. Hello Georgie. Oh, Mr. President. Oh, and that he's just ad-libbing. Come on here Here's the market. Let's see. Oh, there's the poultry department over there. Come on, Mary Okay, and Jack remember what you promised this time You're gonna get a nice big turkey not like the last one you got there was nothing small about that turkey Go on. He didn't have the heart to chop its head off. You beat it to death in a badminton game Mary and I got stuck with a part that went over the net last Mary stop trying to switch old jokes Now let's walk over to the counter and say hello, Mr. Ben. Mr. Kessler. What are you doing behind the meat counter? Oh, I'm helping out here for the holidays. Oh, you're you're just you're just working here temporarily Yes, until my boss gets back from the wedding the wedding In London they had one there too. Yes. Yes last Thursday. Well, look, Mr. Kitzel I want to buy a turkey. Are they are they very expensive expensive? You mean they're that high Come here a minute. Huh? Do you know that which is what what which is are selling for today? No, no, no, no Well, if you knew you'd be nervous to come a little closer Since a pound. Well, why why do you have to whisper it? I don't want the turkey should get hammy 80 cents a pound. That's a lot of money for turkey. See they got to live too. I Suppose so say Jack. Why don't you get in the turkey? I better shop around to get some things for the stuffing I think I have everything at home. All right. What about cracker crumbs? No, I got plenty Stale bread two loaves. I got oysters one can sage 38 I thought you said something else Yes, we we have everything. Well, mr. Benny. What's your pleasure if I can be so accommodating? Well, I'd like to get a live turkey about 25 pound your life turkeys are over there down by the end of the counter Oh, yes, yes, I think I'll take that one on the right. You know, it looks nice and plump. Put on your glasses That's my wife. I Wish I could get 80 cents a pound for Mr. Kisser, what would you suggest? Well, if you want a nice life to key. What about this one over here? I've seen turkeys look plump and they're all full of feathers. I'm gonna feel this one myself. Hold still turkey You and your cold hand. I wouldn't have the heart to kill it. Oh, just look at its eyes. The same color as mine Sultry summer blue Oh Jack stop being so sentimental you've already given up eating strawberries because they remind you of Phil Harris's eyes Mary mr. Kettle, how much does this turkey weigh? About 36 pounds my scale is broken. Oh, well, I'll weigh it on that scale over there by the door. Come here turkey That's a good girl. Come on, Mary will go over the scales now. Hold still turkey Mary put in a penny, okay? Yeah, what does it say you weigh 36 pounds and you ain't long for this world There's a picture of Fred Allen on the other side Well that's much too big oh mr. Kitzel your pleasure this turkey's too big how much does this one weigh this one right here? I think 29 pounds. Aren't you sure wait a minute. I'll check. Oh How much does this take you away 29 pounds, but I'll check. Hey Joe, how much is this turkey way? 29 product is essential to continuing success and lucky strike means fine tobacco LMFT. Yes, lucky strike means fine tobacco and fine tobacco is what counts in a cigarette Remember what happens at the tobacco auctions? Year in year out at market after market independent tobacco experts can see the makers of lucky strike Consistently select and buy that fine that light that naturally mild tobacco Lucky strike presents the man who knows mr. Carl Hartfield of Greensburg, Kentucky has been working as an independent tobacco buyer for the last 29 years Recently had this to say season after season I've seen the makers of lucky strike by a fine tobacco ripe prime leaf. That's got real smoking quality I'll smoke luck is for over 28 years. Oh for your own real deep down smoking enjoyment Remember LSMFT lucky strike means fine tobacco. So smoke that smoke of fine tobacco lucky strike Yes, next time you buy cigarettes ask for lucky strike so round so firm so fully packed so free and easy on the draw Good night folks. This is NBC the national broadcasting company