 I'm the comic weekly man, the jolly comic weekly man. And I'm here to read the funnies to you happy boys and honeys. Yes, boys and girls, it's comic weekly time. And here I come right into your house to bring a little fun and happiness. Right out of the pages of Puck the Comic Weekly, straight into your living room, your friend, the comic weekly man, the jolly comic weekly man. Hello, hello. Little Miss Sonny, how are you today? I'm fine, thank you. Oh, quick, ask it on me. Why is a horse like a lollipop? Well, I don't know how a horse could be like a lollipop. They don't look alike. No. A lollipop can't walk? No. You can't eat a horse? No. Well, you could, but it's not a very good habit to fall into. No. All right, I give up. You tell me, what is it? The more you... Oh, yes. That is a cute riddle. Of course, if you lick a horse, you'll go faster. And if you lick a lollipop, it'll go faster. Down your stomach. It's a very good riddle. Yes, thank you. Now will you read me the funnies? Puck the Comic Weekly. Very well, I will in just a moment. But before I do, let's listen to this nice man. They go with Puck the Comic Weekly. And on the bottom of the first page, Hopalong Cassidy. Magic words for the music, please. Very well, my lady. Six guns blazing as he thunders along. Give us music for Hopalong. Hopi had been captured by Calico and her henchmen and been put to work in the mines. By a daring trick, Hopi succeeded in escaping from the mines and freeing many of the other prisoners that Calico had made slave laborers also. Meanwhile, back at the Stebbins Ranch, a meeting of the citizens is being held to do something about stopping Calico and her gang. One gent is speaking. We're here for a showdown, Saint Russian. We're tired of watching our homes and businesses being stampeded and ruined by a mob we can't lick. And another rancher speaks up. Yeah, they're too strong for us. We aim to sell out and quit the country. At this moment, the man named Spades Rush explains, Now, wait, wait, wait. Maybe Hopalong Cassidy can help us. Well, where is Cassidy? And why isn't he here now? Suddenly the door opens. First picture next row and Hopi steps in saying, I am here. And he goes on to tell him, I just escaped from the old Pyrite Diggins. A crew of slave-wakers who are being forced to counterfeit gold coins will soon be coming home. Hey, that must be where some of our mission neighbors disappeared too. Hopi goes on, last picture, second row. Well, it's no secret who rules Sulphur City. You all know Calico's been hiring killers and wanted renegades to help her build her lawless empire? Well, the time has come to strike back. We'll need every man in this room to march on Sulphur City armed to the teeth. Why will you, Cassidy? We'll be through. Second picture, bottom row. Outside the barn where the meeting is taking place, one of Calico's henchmen who has trailed Hopi is spying. As soon as he hears what's going on, he runs for his horse, last picture saying, I ain't gonna warn Calico. There's enough of us to stop that bunch before they get started. Yes, it was, because now it'll spoil Hopi's chance to slip up on Calico and her henchmen and catch them by surprise. Yes, but now there'll be a big battle, won't there? I'm afraid there'll be plenty of gunslinging. Oh, I hope that Hopi wins. Well, that's something we'll find out next week. Now, let's turn over the page. Oh, there aren't any. So here we go with Prince Valiant and the Days of King Arthur. Hecate, brecate, gray mulken and quince. Music romantic for a fair, fair prince. Prince Valiant's trip to Rome has been held up because he stopped at the castle of Sir Refouc and the castle was attacked by Black Robert. But Val has succeeded in convincing the two warring chieftains to end their dispute peacefully. And now Val and his friends mount their horses and ride from the battered castle into the misty night. It is better thus. They are eager to be on their way and besides, they stop this war before the war ends. Besides, they stop this war before there was any chance of plunder in the part of the soldiers. Therefore, they're rather unpopular. So they decide to leave before getting into any unpleasant fracas. After a few days, they come, last picture, top row to the old city of Lyon, crossroad of Europe, a sought-for prize by the barbarian hordes swarming across the Rhine from faraway Baltic lands. First picture next row. As they pass through the streets, they see the soldiers, tired and dirty, playing games of dice in the street. Lyon is now an outpost of the dwindling empire. And the Northmen, Saxons, Goths and Slavs are pressing close on the Roman hills. The barbarians are laying waste to the country as they sweep through, burning, killing, fighting like wild animals, seeking to conquer the entire world. Val and his friends stay there only long enough to have their apparel, mended. Then they load their horses and provisions into a boat. And, in the large picture in the second row, cross the river Rhome and see in the distance the snow-capped Alps Mountains, rising in terrible majesty. First picture bottom row once more on the road, they travel the old Roman roads, which were built when Rome was in the height of her power. They advance swiftly, but everywhere they see signs of burning, people killed, homes destroyed by the barbarian soldiers who have passed this way. Val and his friends pass through a burning village, are sickened by the evidence of senseless brutality. Then, topping a hill, see the cause below them. An army of barbarians is slowly wending its destructive way across the land, and the rear guard has discovered them. And there, last picture is a huge army of ugly, cruel, ferocious-looking soldiers who look almost half-man and half-ape. They stare wildly at Val and his few companions. Yes. So many of them. Looks like it's almost a thousand to four. Yes. Val and his companions really are in a tough spot, and the enemy is right on the road that Val has to take if he's going to continue his journey. I wonder what happens now? Next week should tell us that. And right now I can tell you the second section of Puck the Comic Weekly that I'll read to you. Oh, I know. Very well. And here we go with Dagwood and Blondie. Ramaphood, emma-fum, Zim-Zam-Zombie, Hanjami Music for Dagwood and Blondie. Alexander has been a bad boy, and Dagwood is saying to him, first picture, young man, for punishment, you don't go to the dance tonight. Go to your room. Alexander says plaintively, but Pop, what about Emily? I promised to take her. And Blondie has. Her mother even bought her a new dress for the dance. Alexander goes on last picture, top row. It's Emily's first dance pop. She'll be broken hearted. Dagwood roars. Okay. I'll take her to the dance myself. And Alexander says, first picture, next row. You'll have to call Foreign Meter Father. And Blondie has. You'll have to jitterbug with her all evening. But Dagwood pulls his arms and looks very firm. So Alexander tells him, next picture, you'll have to fire a double marshmallow, not Sunday after the dance. Dagwood unfolds his arm and points to the stairs, saying, go to your room. I'm taking Emily to the dance. And as Alexander goes up the stairs unhappily. Dagwood stands, last picture, the row. One leg out. His arms folded across his chest, like a Roman general, chasing the barbarians. And Dagwood says, I've got to be firm about this. Blondie tells him, you'd better sit down a minute and think it over. And she goes out of the room. Dagwood sits down and begins to think it over. First picture, next row. He thinks. And thinks. And thinks. And Dagwood sees himself calling for Emily at her house. He imagines Emily's father shaking his finger in his face and roaring, she's got to be home by 9.30. Understand? And he thinks. And thinks. And thinks. And he sees himself at a dance. Dancing with Emily, who is wearing him out. And Emily is saying, Fasten, Mr. Bomstead. And Dagwood is about to collapse. And he thinks. And thinks. And thinks. First picture, the Sure the Row sees himself at the drugstore. Having to eat a double marshmallow, not sundae. And the thought of it almost makes him sick. And he thinks. And thinks. And thinks. And thinks. And he sees himself. Bringing Emily home after her fatherhimets him at the door with a baseball bat. And drops on his knee outside of Alexander's room and says, Alexander, I forgive you. I beg you to get dressed and take him to the dance. The door opens, and Alexander comes out of his room dressed for the dance, saying, I'm all dressed and ready to go, Pop. I thought you'd see it my way. And down the stairs he goes, last picture, leaving Dagward looking very relieved. Well, should we read Roy Rogers now? Oh, yes, please. Quick, read Roy Rogers, because this is awfully exciting. I should say so. Knuckles Hardy, Nitro Kane, and Furhead Fenton had put the explosive in the cave, and it was all ready to go off. And just then Roy Rogers and Knuckles Hardy's son, his name is Tommy. They came after him, and they either came right down in front of the cave where the explosive is. And then Tommy slipped and hurt his knee. And then he came right down in front of the cave where the explosive is. And then Tommy slipped and hurt his knee. And then Tommy slipped and hurt his leg. At this moment Knuckles Hardy saw his son was there. So read quick. Let's see whether Knuckles Hardy does something to save Tommy and Roy, too. Very well. Here we go with Roy Rogers, King of the Cowboys. Hi-yip, hi-o. Now here we go with Roy and Trigger. Hi-yip, hi-o. Knuckles Hardy sees Roy and Tommy directly in front of the cave where the explosive is set to go off, and Hardy yells, Tommy, get off that ledge, dynamite in the cave, ready to go off. As Tommy tries to get up, he suddenly exclaims, it's my leg, Roy. I twisted it when I fell. Roy exclaims, well, this place is going to blow sky high any second. There's no time to carry you to safety, Tommy. So Roy dashes into the cave, first picture next row saying, I've got to try to stop the dynamite from blowing. At this moment Furhead Fenton and Nitro Kane a short distance away run off as Furhead says, hey, Knuckles Hardy is climbing up to the ledge. Just then Roy, inside the cave, finds the explosive seconds before it's to go off. Quickly he jerks the wires off the fuse box. Nick exclaims, ah, that should do it. And just in time, too. And then he goes out of the cave. Last picture of the row, he sees Knuckles Hardy holding Tommy in his arms. And Tommy, who didn't know it was his dad that he and Roy were trailing, is saying, hey, Dad, how'd you get here? And Knuckles Hardy replies, have a mind that son, we've got to get out of here fast. Roy tells him, all right, ease up, Mr. Hardy. There's no rush. There's not going to be an explosion. First picture about him row, Tommy introduces Hardy and Roy. Oh, this is Roy Rogers, Dad. He saved us. And Hardy says, everything was my fault, son. I wanted the river bank blown out to divert water to our ranch. And I've learned my lesson. And then carrying Tommy in his arms, he and Roy walked on the horses. Hardy says thoughtfully, from now on, Tommy, you ride herd in your old man and keep him out of mischief. And then as they mount their horses, Hardy asks, how about staying to spell at the box each with us, Rogers? Roy replies, some other time, Mr. Hardy, if I can make Saddle butte tonight, it'll only be a day's ride from home. Everybody's life by pulling those wires off? It certainly was. And Mr. Hardy learned a good lesson, too, when he will almost kill his own son. I should say so. From now on, you'll be a good and better man. I hope so. Well, now should we see what Uncle Remus has to say? Oh, yes, please. Very well. And turn over the page. And there, on page three of the second section, is Uncle Remus and his tales of Brar Rabbit. And I'll read that in just a moment. But first, here's that nice man again with something interesting to say. Now, here we go again with Puck the Comic Weekly. And on page three of the second section, Uncle Remus and his tales of Brar Rabbit. Magic words for the music, please. Say them with me, please. The comedy-hoppity make it a habit to give us music for Old Brar Rabbit. Uncle Remus. One time, Old Brar Fox was wanted by the law for counterfeitings. So he wrapped himself inside a barricade and told him to come and get him. Yes, Brar Fox has built himself a little bit of a fort at the top of a little bit of a hill. And he has three little cannons and a lot of other weapons to defend himself with. And all the critters are trying to get at him, but every time someone starts up the hill, Brar Fox shoots off the cannon. And everybody skitters back to safety behind the bushes. Finally, Brar Sheriff Hollars, if you don't give up, Brar Fox, somebody is going to get hurt. Brar Fox waves a sharp scythe and Hollars back. Yeah, and it won't be me. Then there's a few of the critters try to sneak up the hill again. Brar Fox fires his cannon again. Get back there, you critters and stay back. And the critters skitter back to safety again. As the smoke clears off the field of battle, Brar Rabbit says grimly, Uh-oh, he means business. So he waves to all the critters who dash back into the forest to have a meeting. And as Brar Fox stands in a rock facing them all, they all stop talking. And it's a dramatic pause, and Brar Fox Rabbit says, Now all you folks go home and get all the rotten eggs, tomatoes, and stuff you can find. And then you come on back and you hide till I give you the signal. So the critters all skitter home to do what Brar Rabbit says. Last picture top roll, Brar Rabbit takes Brar Mole up to a waterfall, which is above Brar Fox's fort. And he tells Brar Mole, the tunnel from there directly down underneath Brar Fox's fort. So Brar Mole sticks his nose to the ground and down he digs. In first picture bottom roll, he's dug the tunnel right underneath Brar Fox's fort. Then Brar Mole slips through the tunnel back again to Brar Rabbit. And he says, Go ahead Brar Rabbit, the road is clear. And Brar Rabbit then takes a hollow log, holds one end up underneath the waterfall. And he and Brar Mole point the other end into the tunnel that Brar Mole has made. And Brar Rabbit says, Stand aside Brar Mole, here comes the irrigation. And the water pours through the hollow log into the tunnel. And Brar Rabbit says, I expect Brar Fox is going to get his feet wet. And Brar Mole giggles, Yeah, and I bet he never saw rain come upside down before. And last picture the water comes so forcefully through the tunnel that it blasts open a hole underneath Brar Fox, lifting him in the air and holding him there. And all the critters below throw their eggs and tomatoes at Brar Fox who is held in the air. And as the rotten eggs hit him, Brar Fox hollers, Help, stop! I give up doing it! Brar Rabbit share a fancy. And that until us gets rid of all the ammunition, Brar Fox. And Uncle Remus says, Loud mouth is too full of bragging, they talk since. It certainly did, it just goes to show that a powerful brain is more important than a powerful gun sometimes. Well now shall we read Fast Gordon? Oh yes, because Flash Gordon and Dale and Queen Sunni were escaping from the wizards who had attacked the cave where they were. And just as the wizards were about to melt the cave and make the earth fall in on them, Flash and Prince Fino let everyone to the end of the cave where they found an underground river. And then they made rafts and they loaded their things on the rafts and they made their way down the river. And now I want to see where they escaped. Very well, here we go on page four of Puck the Comic Weekly with Flash Gordon. Rigger, Rigger, Doon Doon, Sasuke Matash let's have music for Heroic Flash. Bleeding from that cave hideout which has been attacked by Curzo's army, Flash and his companions drift along an underground river. As their raft rounds the bend, Flash shouts, I'm heading for shore. There's a waterfall ahead. But it's too late. The current is too swift and it carries Flash and Dale last picture top row straight over the waterfall. In desperation, Flash and Dale cling to each other as they plunge helplessly toward the whirlpool below. First picture bottom row that churning Eddie chews their raft to bits. Dale calls to Flash to look behind him and he turns to see the pool dragon, a blind creature of the underworld, hungrily reaching for them. Flash snatches a fragment of his raft and spears the river beast. There's a short furious struggle and the monster slips beneath the surface lifeless. But Flash and Dale are still not free from danger. Last picture, the racing parent pins them against an underground grating and Flash shouts, Hang on, don't slip through. We'll drown and be dashed to pieces inside this tunnel. They're just across the window and they're sort of like a ladder and then maybe they can climb up and be saved. Well, I hope so. And the rest. Next week we'll find out about that. Oh, this is so exciting. Yes. And dangerous. Yes. Now I'll bet you're anxious to find out what's happening to Dick and Dick's adventure. Oh, yes. Well, then let's go to the very last page. And there at the top is Dick's adventure. I just love Dick's adventures because it tells all about the early days of America. I love to learn history that way. So do I. Dick is with General Washington and his army. It's the cold midwinter, and the soldiers haven't enough to eat and their clothes are wearing out. And there isn't enough money to get them new ones and many of them are quitting. Maybe General Washington can think of some way to make them stay. Well, let's read and find out. So here we go with Dick's adventures and say the magic words with me. Rigiddy pack, gazette, gazette. Let's have music for adventurous Dick. As Dick walks through the camp looking at the poor soldiers trying to keep warm around their campfires, Washington joins him and Dick tells him some of the men think the war's lost, so they're starting to quit. Quitters. Well, this country wasn't made by... I mean, it isn't going to be made by quitters. Washington glances at Dick's rudely and says, I've just received news, Dick. Bad news. It's about one of our men who refused to quit and Washington tells Dick the story of this man who refused to quit. We see the story as it happened. Last picture top row, Washington is helping the young man on with his coat and he says, when British General Harwin and his army were driving us out of New York, this soldier, a young school teacher who had been commissioned to captain, begged to be allowed to slip back into the city in order to supply us with vital enemy information. And we see the young man leaving on his mission for his picture next row. I warned him of the fate that awaits all spies if caught. He nodded and left. And we moved on across New Jersey, leaving the British to capture New York. We procured the information. In trying to rejoin us, the enemy arrested him. They found all the documentary proof they needed. Damn it. Now it's the cruel fate of a spy to be hanged and captured. At last picture of the row, we see this young man being taken to the gallows by the enemy. He marched proudly. From the threshold of eternity, he turned to the enemy around him. And what he said, I hope, will be remembered for as long as our country lives. I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country. Last picture, we're back again with General Washington and Dick. And Dick cries. Oh, I know his name, sir. It's Nathan Hale. Everyone in America does remember. And once more, Washington glances at Dick shrewdly. Wonderful, American. Yes, he was. It's such a sad, sad story. Yes, it is, but it was beautiful, too, because the spirit of Nathan Hale holds up an example to everyone, showing them the way to serve their country unselfishly. Yes, it does. But maybe when the rest of Judge Washington's soldiers hear about Nathan Hale, then they won't quit. We'll find out about that next week. Oh, that's good. Oh, now, look, underneath Dick's adventures, there's Rusty Rally. And I've been so worried about Rusty since last week, because Captain Kluen and Squire Boggs were working with the smugglers, and Rusty trailed them late at night. And he caught them in the middle of their crooked business. But then Squire Boggs discovered Rusty. Yes, and he locked Rusty below the deck of the old schooner that was there. Rusty found an old rope outside the porthole and pulled himself up on deck so we could see what was going on. Oh, read quick, because I'm so worried. I want to find out what Rusty's doing, and I want to find out maybe they'll see him and do something mean to Rusty. Very well, here we go with Rusty Rally. Gallop and run till the road is dusty. Give us music for his horse and Rusty. Rusty pulls himself up to the top of the old schooner. He peeps over the top of the schooner halt and sees Squire Boggs and Captain Kluen at work. Rusty exclaims, Gee, Wilkins, Squire Boggs and Captain Kluen are putting away a lot of metal cylinders just like the one Tex and I pulled out of the water. And then he listens carefully, and he hears Squire Boggs say, OK, Kluen, that's the last one. Now we'll shoot him down. OK, Kluen, that's the last one. Now as soon as you get it out of sight, I've let the kid out so he won't get suspicious. Meanwhile, on the shore path, Tex and Mr. Kilgore are coming down the path where they think Rusty must have gone. Suddenly they see Flip heading toward them. Tex says, Hey, wait a second, Mr. Kilgore. That's Rusty's dog, and he's all excited about something. Kilgore replies, Yeah, sure is. Seems to be trying to tell us something. Last picture, top row, Tex says, Very jingle, that pooch wants us to follow him. He keeps barking and making short runs. Kilgore replies, Yes, I see. He wants us to follow him to give his wharf. So they follow Flip. First picture, bottom row, Rusty ducks down as he sees Squire Boggs and Captain Klune have finished with their work and are lifting off the hatch cover, leading down below the deck where Squire Boggs had taken Rusty. As they lift off the cover, Boggs says, All right, Rusty, come on up. The hatch cover accidentally slid over the hatch. Come on up, Captain Klune says. What's the matter with him? Why don't he come up? Squire Boggs waits a minute and then says, I don't like this Klune. If he's hurt or anything, we're in real trouble. I'm going down there. Captain Klune replies, Go ahead, I'll follow you. When the two men go down below deck, Rusty sees this and then he slips forward very quietly and says, Oh boy, they've both gone down there now. This is my chance. He grabs the hatch cover and starts to push it across the top of the hatch saying, Golly, this hatch cover is plenty heavy. No wonder I couldn't push it up from below. And then it drops on last picture and Rusty sits on the hatch cover saying, There, now I got them right where they had me and that hatch cover never slid on by accident. Do you think they'll be able to push the hatch cover off? I'm not sure. There are two of them. Well, maybe Texas and Mr. Kilgorel get there in time to help Rusty. Well, that's something else we'll find out next week. Now, that's all the time I have, but before I go, here's that nice fellow with some more interesting information. Well, honey, and all your boys and girls, I gotta go now. All right, Mr. Comic Weekly Man, but I'll be waiting for you next week. Okay, that's a date and a date with all your boys and girls. Be sure to meet me with our little friend Miss Honey next week when I read Puck the Comic Weekly. For I'm the Comic Weekly Man, the jolly Comic Weekly Man. I'll be back to read the funnies to your happy boys and honeys. Don't forget, boys and girls, see you all next week. Your friend the Comic Weekly Man, the jolly Comic Weekly Man.