 Now listen to Father Knows Best transcribes starring Robert Young as Father. Welcome to Springfield and another half-hour visit with the folks in the White Frame House on Maple Street. Sit back and enjoy life with the Andersons, Kathy, Bud, Betty, Margaret and Jim, as the head of this typical American household again sets out to prove that Father Knows Best. Last week the Andersons journeyed to Grandpa's house in Toledo to dispose of some of their old belongings stored there. They disposed of them by dragging and shipping them all home to the White Frame House on Maple Street, where they're right now trying to figure out how to dispose of them. Right now Jim, along with Margaret and Bud, is on the back porch looking over a trunk full of his old school mementos. Like this. Listen to this, Margaret. I want to read you something. Jim, you're supposed to be sorting this stuff over, not reading all of it. You've been at that one trunk for hours. Well, just listen to this. You know how kids write stuff in each other's high school annuals? Yes, I know. Well here's one that really takes me back. Listen to this. To Jim, may our friendship endure through the long years ahead, through the ups as well as the downs. We'll fight shoulder to shoulder through the long game of life until death knocks us both out of bounds. Your pal, Arnie Johnson. Isn't that a wonderful sentiment? Who's Arnie Johnson? I don't know. I can't seem to place him. Well, that friendship certainly endured through the long game of life. Dad. Hardly got through the first inning. Dad, what is it, bud? These funny-looking pants, huh? Oh, for heaven's sakes. Bell-bottom trousers, oh no. I'm glad I didn't know you when you wore those. Well, they didn't look so funny, then. All the guys wore them. For a few weeks anyway. Well, can I have them? It looks like the moths have beaten you to it. But I wish you'd stop pawing through the trunk. You're getting everything mixed up. Mixed up? That mess? I'm trying to sort this stuff out and see what's worth keeping and what I want to throw away. Well, at the rate you're going, that's going to take the next ten years of your life. Is this big pile of stuff here what you're throwing away? No, no, no. I'm keeping that. The junk I'm throwing away is in this pile over here. What pile? There's nothing there. Huh? Oh. I guess you're right. It always happens whenever you sort out old stuff. You always wind up with more than you had when you started. Oh, listen to this, Margaret. It's the class prophecy in our annual. Get this. As we gaze into the misty clouds of the future, we see Broadway's newest star, Nancy Higginbottom, in her hour of triumph, tossing a rose from her bouquet into the box seat occupied by the distinguished Senator James Anderson. Senator? Gosh, Dad, were you a senator? Well, no. You see, this is just what they predicted we would turn out to be after we graduated. Boy, they sure missed the boat on you. Oh, I don't know. I just happened to go into the insurance business instead of politics. The point is I was highly respected. Who wrote that? Your old buddy, Arnie Johnson? No, it was probably written by, well, it ought to tell here. I imagine it was, well, I'll be done. J.A. I wrote it myself. Maybe you should have gone into politics, Senator. Dog gone, dog gone, dog gone. Well, what's the matter with Kathy? Look at her kicking the garage. There's no telling what's wrong. Kathy, don't do that. She'll ruin your shoes. Then you're not able to knock over the garage. I don't care. Dog gone, dog gone. Well, come over here and tell us what's wrong. I don't want to tell. I was over at the playground and we were playing volleyball and we lost, dog gone. Now, Kip, that's no way to feel. If you're going to compete in games, you've got to be a good loser as well as a good winner. I don't care. You see, the idea of sportsmanship is based not on... Father. Betty, don't interrupt your father when he's giving a lecture. I'm not giving a lecture. I'm just trying to point out that good sportsmanship is not based so much on winning or losing, but on how you play the game. Do you play it hard and clean? Do you play it for the fun you get out of it and for the joy of competition? Those are the important things. Do you kids all understand that? Dad. Yes, bud. Did you wear these bell-bottom pants on the level? But we're talking about sportsmanship. Father. Oh, me. I might as well have saved my breath. Well, anyway, Kathy, next time you lose a game, the thing to do is congratulate the winners and tell them they played a good game. I think they cheated. Kathy, that's not the way to talk. You'd better go inside and wash your hands and face and think over what your father said very carefully. Okay. But just wait till we play those cheaters again. Father. What is it, Betty? Where can Ralph and I go this afternoon? Well, I don't know. Why ask me? Well, Ralph just got his car back from the repair shop and he wants to try out his new motor. Can't you just go for a drive in the country? It's a lovely day for it. Well, Ralph doesn't like to do that. He says when you're not driving to any place in particular, how do you know when you get there? Uh, yes. Ralph is very analytical. I can see that. Oh, I'll bet that's Ralph calling now. What shall I tell him? Oh, Ralph will think of some good analytical place to go. Hey, Dad, what's this? But I told you to quit pawing around in there. Look, Mom, a Max Senate bathing suit. That's not so Max Senate. That was regulation in those days. So don't act so smart. I'm not acting smart. I was just looking at it. Oh, I remember suits like that. My father had one just like it. Except his had a stripe around the bottom of the skirt. All right. It's still in pretty good shape. All it needs is a new button on the shoulder strap. I'll bet the girls took more than one look when they saw you strutting along the beach in that outfit. Look, you smart Alex, maybe you'd like to know I used to be quite a swimmer. As a matter of fact, I was on the swimming team when I was in college. Gee, were you really Dan? You bet your life I was. We won the state intercollegiate swimming championship for two years straight. Collie, were you the star of the team? Well, I don't like to say I was exactly the star. Were you really on the team? What do you mean was I really on the team? For your information, I swam against Otto Biedler. What do you think of that? Who's Otto Biedler? Who's Otto Biedler? Yeah. Otto Biedler, after he left Aberdeen Normal and went to the university, became the national freestyle champion. That's all. Gosh. And two years later, he made the Olympic team. Were you on the Olympic team? Well, no. But that'll give you an idea by what a narrow margin I missed it. Oh gee, Dad. Tell me how you... Oh wait, there goes Joe Phillips down the alley. Hey Joe, Joe, I got something to tell you. My dad almost made the Olympic team. Don't go blabbing that all over. He beat Otto Biedler. He was the champ. Oh, me. Daddy. Let's see your hands, Kathy. Did you wash them? Uh-huh. Hmm. Did you use soap? Well, I was going to, but I didn't want to get the soap dirty. Oh, fine. Daddy, will you take me out to see the octopus? The what? He's a real live one, Daddy. A man-eating octopus. They got him out at the fair, out at the park. Is there another fair in town? Will you take me, Daddy? I'm pretty busy here, kitten. Still got a lot of stuff to sort out. He's only halfway through his high school annual. Will you take me, Daddy, huh? Will you, huh? Kathy, you don't want to go out there, just a bunch of the same old junk. They never had an octopus before. Can't we go? Look, all we do is just get dusty and tired, and half sick from eating a lot of things that aren't good for us. Oh gosh, I never get to go any place. Not any place. Kathy, don't start that again. You get to go as many places as any girl you know. Probably more. Patty Davis went to the fair, and she saw the man-eating octopus twice. Well, I don't think Patty's life has been particularly enriched by that experience. Father, Ralph can't think of anywhere to go. Can't you think of someplace? Betty, I haven't time to map out your social itinerary. It's all I can do to... Wait a minute, I've got an idea. What is it? Well, Ralph, drive out to that fair at the park. Yeah, and see the octopus. What? And you can take Kathy with you. Oh, Father, you're so utterly marvel-ty. I'm what? You know that we don't want, you know who, T-A-G-G-I-N-G along. Why not? What's wrong with me? Who now, Betty? I think it would be very nice if you'd take Kathy out there. What a revolting idea. I'll tell Ralph, but I know he's got better sense than that. I'll go help you. Mother, don't let her follow me all over. Kathy, you go wash your hands again, and this time you soap. Well, let's see now. Where was I in this mess anyhow? You had just been elected senator. Oh, yes. Hey, Dad, Dad. Yes, son? Dad, you can beat Mr. Phillips, can't you? What are you talking about? Swimming. I was telling Joe about you being the star on the college team, and he claimed his dad could swim circles around you. Oh, I think George would need a pair of fairly speedy water wings to do that. That's what I said. So I told him you'd race his dad anywhere, anytime. You, uh, did? So Joe said, okay, how about this afternoon with the YMCA pool? He's over asking his dad right now. Will you do it, Dad? Well, uh, but I'm pretty busy right now. And the button is off his bathing suit. He doesn't wear that old thing. He's got good swimming trunks. How about it, Dad, this afternoon okay? Well, but maybe sometime when I'm not so busy. Gee, Dad, you're not afraid to race him, are you? Oh, no, no, of course not. That's not it at all. Okay, I'll go call him then. But, but, come back here. Oh, man. Jim, I don't think you ought to do a thing like that. What? You don't know how right you are. You're not in condition. It's not that. I'm in fair shape from golf. But, well, I just hate to let the boy down. After this build up is going to be a real blow to him to see his dad lose. Lose? But how could you? Weren't you the captain of the swimming team? I didn't say I was the captain. Well, star then. I didn't say that either. That was Bud's idea. Technically, I wasn't on the team. I was sort of the business manager. But you said you raced against that world champion, Eddie Boodler. Otto Biedler. Did you just make that up? Oh, no, no, that was the truth. But what happened was that our star got the mumps and they threw me in against him at the last minute. Then you did race him. For about the first three yards, yes. That was the last I ever saw of him. Well, you better just tell Bud all this. Gosh, I hate to do that. He's built me into such a hero. I've got to get out of it in some other way. I just can't let him down. Well, maybe George Phillips will have sense enough to refuse to do it. He's in no better condition than you are. It's all said, Dad, 230 at the Y. 230? Joe says his dad is raring to go. Uh-oh. Well, this is the silliest thing I've ever heard of. What do you mean silly? This is the chance I've been waiting for for years. Oh, Joe's always bragging about what a hot shot his dad is. I don't know. Boy, we'll show him, won't we, Dad? Yeah, sure. Bud, don't you think maybe 230 is too soon to swim after eating a heavy meal? But you haven't eaten a heavy meal, Dad. No, but I'm going to. A swimmer needs a lot of food. Where else, Father? Ralph's motor's missing again. I want to go, Daddy. This is the last day of it. It is? Well, by George, it looks like I'll have to take you there. What's this? Gosh, Bud, I'm afraid I'm going to have to postpone that race. But there's no other way out of it. You mean you're going to take her to the fair, let a little thing like that stop you? There's no way out of it, Bud. Much as I'd love to get in there and swim the legs off old George. Holy cow. Come on, we can all go to the fair and have a big time. Let's go in and get cleaned up. Octopus! Dad, you can't do this. It's all arranged. They'll be there waiting. That's right, isn't it? Margaret, will you call the Phillips and explain everything? I'd be more than happy to. You kids run on upstairs and change your clothes. I'd like to get away from here as quickly as possible. Oh, no! Can I ask Ralph to go with us? Sure, ask anybody. Dad, you can't do this. I know how you feel, Bud. But maybe we can arrange it some other time. After all, it might not hurt for me to get in a little practice first. You wouldn't want me to lose, would you? Oh, there's no chance of that. Well, you never can tell. After all, I am a little rusty and... Hello, who is this? Helen? Well, this is Margaret Anderson and I... What? Well, that's exactly what I was calling about. Yes, I think it's silly, too. But we don't have to worry because Jim can't make it. Tell them how disappointed I am. Jim is terribly disappointed, but he promised he'd take Kathy to the fair. And this is the last date. What? Oh, really? Well, I guess it could. Yes, that'll be just dandy. Yes, goodbye. What happened? I don't like the tone of your voice. Well, she said they all wanted to go to the fair, too. So young Joe suggested that you men could have your race out there in the park pool. Hooray! Isn't that keen, Dad? Oh, it couldn't be keener. The Andersons will be right back. Here in America, each of us is free to work in the place and calling of our choice. No man can tell us what job we must do. We are free to bargain collectively. We are free to contract about our own affairs, to own property, start an enterprise, and to profit from our own inventiveness. This is progress. The progress of a free people under a system which ensures the perpetuation of freedom. So, let's all boost the American economic system and strive to improve it even further. Remember, the better we produce, the better we live. Back in the bygone days when man first learned to make sounds, and then to turn those sounds into words, he thought he'd made a pretty handy discovery. But since that day, words have caused quite a few complications. Take Jim Anderson, for instance. He'd gladly pay a bonus if he could take back a few words he tossed off about his swimming ability. The simple remarks, which at the moment are causing repercussions at 607 Maple Street. Like this. Of all the ridiculous things two grown men out in a public pool in a public park having a race. Simply because I mentioned, just mentioned to Bud that I was once on the swimming team in college. Well, dear, if it's going to be so painful... I didn't say it was painful, but it can be darn embarrassing. How do you think I'll feel if I lose? But you were just telling the children that according to the rules of sportsmanship, it doesn't matter who wins or loses, if you do your best. That's George Phillips. He's probably been swimming at the club, practicing up. I'll bet anything he's pushing this idea just to make a monkey out of me. Hey, Mom, I can't find dead swimming trunks. Look in the drawer in the cedar closet. What are you getting my trunks for? You're going to wear them, aren't you? Well, I suppose... I think you wanted to swim in that off-the-shoulder number you wore in college. All right. Well, let's not make such a big fuss about everything. I'll be in the pool all of two minutes. What would you rather do, dear? Just wear a slacks and a sports shirt? Dead could be Mr. Phillips wearing overalls. Now, Bud, listen... I'll be back in a minute. I got to go call Hank Federer and Bodie Glyss. They'll want to come out to the park. That's what I want to talk to you about, Bud. I think it would be better if you didn't get too many of your friends out there this afternoon. Why not? Well, let's think of Mr. Phillips. You know, a lot of people... Joe's rounding up all his friends. Mr. Phillips doesn't mind. Oh. Well... Can we kind of hold it down, Bud? Boy, am I going to have to laugh on Joe? This is sure going to be a joke on him, huh, Dad? Uh... But... I got to go call Hank. Daddy, do octopuses make good pets? I don't know, kitten. We're going to see a 12-foot octopus at the fair, Bud. Yeah, I know. And Dad's going to beat the socks off of Mr. Phillips. Bud, please. Who's going to sock the beets off of who? Dad and Mr. Phillips are going to have a big swimming race out in the pool at the park. You are, Daddy. Listen, it's not a... Sure. Joe said his father could swim circles around Dad, and Dad challenged him. I did not. Will the octopus be in the pool with you, Daddy? No, kitten. Now just forget about it. Here are your trunks, Jim. Kathy, you'd better start getting dressed. Hello, Hank. Bud. Hey, get out to the park this afternoon, about 2 o'clock. Margaret, this thing's turning into a three-ring circus. Well, at least you'll be in the center ring. Daddy! Joe Phillips' dad and my dad are going to battle it out in the pool. Oh, for a Pete's sake. Bud! They're going to have a big race. Everybody's going to be there. Daddy! Jim, if you're worried about this... Who's worried? George Phillips was probably an Olympic champion. That's all. My dad's going to leave him like a speedboat. Margaret, can't you get Bud off that telephone? Daddy! What is it, Kathy? I've got a neat idea. I can get our class at school to come over. We can have a ruining section. Kathy, listen... Gee, maybe we could do cotton stunts and have pom-poms. Kathy, go upstairs now and get dressed. Well, anyway, daddy can beat Mr. Phillips. My daddy can do anything better than any daddy in the whole world. Oh, brother. Such faith. Margaret, do you realize the position this puts me in? What's going on? What's the excitement? There's no excitement, Princess. Just go right on doing what you're doing. Hank's getting the guys together. Father, what is this? Haven't you heard? Dad's going to take Mr. Phillips. Where's he taking him? All right, kids. We've carried this far enough. Old Joe thinks his dad is so great. Such a big swimmer. Well, dad's going to show him up, aren't you, dad? Bud and Betty, I think your father's getting a headache. Run along, now. Yes, let's all forget this foolishness. Forget it? When my father's going to swim against Mr. Phillips, I've got to call Ralph. Oh, no. He's on the swimming team. I'll get him to bring the coach along. Margaret, all I said was... I know, dear. I can't go through with this, Margaret. I know I'll lose, and the children will never get over it. George Phillips is practically a professional. I'll bet money on it. Well, maybe it'll rain. No such luck. Not a cloud in the sky. There's only one thing to do. I've got to go over and talk to George. What are you going to say to him, dear? I don't know. I'll buy him off or something. He'll probably laugh at me. He knows he's got me right over a barrel. Olympic swimmer. Hey, Jim! Huh? Oh, George! Hello. Glad I caught you, Jim. Before you got away. Well, I'm glad I caught you, too. Jim, I suppose you've heard about this swimming business that Joe and Butt dreamed up. Oh, yes, I heard something about it. As a matter of fact... Well, Jim, you know, this wasn't my idea. Kids, you know how they are. Yes, I know. I don't know why Joe ever started this in the first place. It's very embarrassing for me. Well... I'm not a swimmer, Jim. You're not? Oh, I can get around in the water, but I'm not in your league. Oh, well... I'm not very good. Really? What I came over to ask you, Jim, it's a real favor. Joe and the boys are going to be out there this afternoon watching us, and would you kind of take it easy, Jim, so I don't look too bad? Oh, sure, George. Don't worry about it. Everything will be all right. Oh, thanks, Jim. You don't know how much this means to me. Those kids are going to be out there watching their dad. I know. Mine are going to be there, too. Good luck, George. See you out there, Jim. How do you like that? Oh, what a rascal you are. Margaret! What is it, dear? Gather the children. Let's all go out somewhere to lunch before we go to the park. Ma, you've certainly turned into a ray of sunshine. What happened? Oh, I just got the thinking. It's childish to get upset about this affair at the park this afternoon. Oh? What does it matter who wins or loses? You go out and do your best. That's what counts. Sportsmanship. Well, suddenly you seem to have it all figured out. Yes, sir. I guess there's one thing I'll never figure out, dear. What's that, honey? You. The Andersons will be back in a moment. America today is confronted with the task of defending itself against communistic aggression abroad and inflation at home. An explanation of how the American economic system operates has been prepared under the title of The Miracle of America. Now, this booklet has been endorsed by representatives of management, labor, and the public. It is yours without cost. Simply write to box 10, Times Square Station, New York City, and ask for The Miracle of America. Well, there's quite a crowd at Nickerson's Park this afternoon. Fair side shows, man-eating octopus. But the important scene of action right at the moment is over by the public swimming pool. Jim Anderson has just climbed out of the water, walked over to where Margaret is waiting, like this. Now, Jim, remember what you said at home. What a mean trick. Now relax, dear. Take it easy, he said. Give me a chance, he said. I gave him a chance, and look what happened. He beat me. Well, dear, he did his best to let you win. He couldn't swim any slower without sinking. Maybe he didn't do it on purpose, but what am I going to do, Margaret? How will I ever be able to face the children? Oh, I don't think it will bother them too much. What do you mean? They weren't even here for the race. They all went over to see the octopus. Oh, the things that happen to a father. Ladies and gentlemen, tonight we are honored to have as our special guest Mrs. Joseph C. Wenger, Public Relations Director of the California Federation of Women's Clubs. Mrs. Joseph C. Wenger. Thank you, Mr. Foreman. You know, every year, the General Federation of Women's Clubs gives an award to the outstanding radio and television programs. They give it in three separate categories. Adult, family and children. We're very happy to announce that this year, Father Knows Best with Robert Young was selected as the best in the family classification. We like to encourage better radio entertainment and we point with approval to this program as a wholesome symbol of a life in the American home. Our congratulations go to the cast of Father Knows Best to the National Broadcasting Company and to you, Mr. Young, for your excellent portrayal of father. Thank you, Mrs. Wenger. On behalf of my radio family and our behind-the-scenes relatives who help bring life in the Anderson family to the air each week, our most sincere thanks for this memorable award. Believe me, we'll all try to live up to it in the future. Join us again next week when we'll be back with Father Knows Best starring Robert Young as Jim Anderson. In our cast were Norma Jean Nielsen as Kathy, Ted Donaldson, Rhoda Williams, Gene Vanderpile, Charles Seal and William Foreman. Your announcer was Don Stanley. Father Knows Best, directed by Andrew C. Love was transcribed in Hollywood and written by Paul West and Roswell Rogers. For adventure tonight, it's Night Beat on NBC.