 Craft presents the Great Gilder Sleeve. Cheese company will also bring you Bing Crosby every Thursday night. Present each week at this time Harold Perry is the Great Gilder Sleeve. Written by John Wheaton and Sam Moore. We're from the Great Gilder Sleeve in just a moment. These next few days, many of you will be making plans for weekend Halloween parties. And if you're planning to serve sandwiches, or perhaps waffles, muffins, or piping up biscuits, here's a way to really please your guests. Serve your baking treats with delicious parquet margarine. Spread your sandwiches with this quality margarine made by craft. Parquet has a pleasing aroma and a delicate flavor that is sure to delight your most critical guest. In fact, parquet is winning new friends everywhere for the delicious flavor it adds to other fine foods. Parquet not only tastes good, it's nutritiously good for you, contains vitamin A. And each pound of parquet provides 9,000 units of important vitamin A for good nutrition. Besides, parquet is an excellent energy food. This grand-tasting, nutritious spread for America's bread requires only four ration points a pound. So delight your guests at Halloween. Please your family every day with delicious nourishing parquet. That's P-A-R-K-A-Y. Parquet margarine made by craft. On to Summerfield in the Great Gilder Sleeve. It's been a long day. Things were busy at the water department, but it's over now, and the commissioner homeward plods his weary way. As he comes up the front walk, dusk is falling and the windows are aglow. Stepping over an upturned rake and kicking aside Leroy's roller skates, he enters the house and pauses to survey a pretty picture of contentment. Bertie is in the dining room setting the table. Leroy is sprawled in front of a fire gnawing an apple. On the couch lies Marjorie, a gentle swoon listening to the radio. He's your sister? No. I mean, sure. Then do it. Bertie, how long before dinner? Having, Bertie? Oh, something you like. That's a little indefinite. I like a lot of things. Don't worry, you're going to have a lot of things. Well, it wouldn't be something with dump. Well, let it go. Leroy, I've told you not to play with fire. Why aren't you doing your homework? Oh, gosh, Yonk, it doesn't make any sense. What doesn't? The homework she gave us. I don't get it. That's because you haven't tried. What's the assignment? It's a composition. How my uncle earns his living. Isn't that silly? Not at all, young man. I think that's a very good subject. I think every boy should know what it means to have to earn a living. Every girl, too, Marjorie. What? I say I think children ought to know the meaning of hard work. It might teach them a little respect for money. Well, Uncle Maud, the only reason I went over my allowance... Yes, I know. I know the same thing every week. Let me ask you something. Have you any idea what I have to do to earn our daily bread? Well, I know your water commission. Yes, but have you any conception of what that means? It means you get free water. You get free nothing. Nothing in this world is free, young man. The sooner you find out about it, the better. I'll tell you what I'll do. Tomorrow is Saturday. I'll give you both a treat. I'm going to take you down to the office with me and show you what goes on there. Then you can come home, Leroy, and write about it. Oh, boy. Yes, sir. I'll show you the whole thing from start to finish. I'll show you how a well-run waterwork should be conducted. I'll show you how he maintains service 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Sunday, Monday, and always. It was nice of you to drive us down, Judge. Glad to do it. I was coming anyway. Marjorie, allow me. This, of course, is the city hall, children. I suppose you've been here before. Only about a million times. Perhaps you'd like to show me around. Open the door for your sister. What is she? Helpless? After you, Judge. Oh, after you, Throckmorton. No, you go ahead. You first. Well... Make up your mind. We'll make up yours. Let's all go out and come in again. On this floor, we have various departments. There's the office of the school board. I'd like to lay a bomb there. Never mind. Department of Health, Department of Sanitation, and down at the end of the hall is where Judge Hooker has his chambers. Things you wouldn't believe. Nothing to what goes on in the water department. The water department, Judge, is a smoothly functioning, highly efficient organization as I'm about to demonstrate to these children. Mind if I join the tour? Why? Well, you make it sound so fascinating. I don't know what your game is, Judge Hooker. Go ahead, Leeroy. Not very big, is it? The size of a man's office, young man, does not indicate the importance of his position. Besides, this is only the outer office. Your uncle's office is even smaller. Yeah, thank you. Now, keep your eyes open, Leeroy. You have to write about this, you know. First, the various members of the organization. My secretary sits there. Where is she? Eh, she must have stepped out. Then there's the meter reader. That's his desk. Where's he? Reading meters. And out at the pump house, there's Charlie Anderson, the engineer. Over here, children, we have the files. This is the water cooler. Pencil sharpener, hat rack. Wash basin, then, so on. Fascinating. Oh, here she is. Children, I want you to meet my private secretary, Miss, her name's Bessie. Hello. Hi. Hello. Oh, Mr. Gildersleeve, I'm ever glad to see you. This man has been calling up every five minutes. The worst nuisance. What does he want? I don't know. He wants to speak to you. I finally just told him. I said, Mr. Gildersleeve is a very busy man. Quite right. I said, if you have anything to say to Mr. Gildersleeve, I'm going to read a letter. That was very good, Bessie. Oh, but he was so mad. The things he said. Probably some crank. No, I think he was an Indian. An Indian? Yes. He called himself Chief Rosecrans. Rosecrans? Rosecrans is the fire chief. No wonder he was burned out. Oh, my goodness. Get him on the phone. No, don't. What did he want? I don't know, Mr. Gildersleeve, he just kept hollering at me about the water pressure. What about the water pressure? He said there wasn't any. Oh, that Bessie. I'm going to have to let her. Turn on the faucet there in the wash basin. Who says there's no water? Well, it's no rushing torrent. Well, what do you want? Something will splash all over you every time you turn it on? Gildy old man, do you remember how you got into this office? What do you mean? Remember when Clanahan was commissioner here? Yes, and I'll match my record with his any day. Do you remember how you started a petition against him because the pressure was always low? That was different. There happens to be a war on now. Get out of here, you old rooster. Bessie, get me Charlie Anderson out at the pump house. Yes, sir. I don't know who I ever took this job. Always somebody finding fault. Something wrong, uncle? Oh, no. Everything is peachy, Leroy. Lifty Gildersleeve. Here, give it to me. Hello, Charlie. This is Mr. Gildersleeve. Who? Gildersleeve. What's happened to the pressure? Can't hear you. I say this is Gildersleeve. What's happened to the pressure? Oh, that busted speaker. Well, stop hollering and listen. I can't hear you. Way to turn off the pump. Wait a minute. Don't do that, Charlie. Whatever you do, don't turn off the pump. Now, you stay where you are. I'll be right out there. Oh, I've got to go. I've got to get out to the reservoir. But how will you get there? We didn't bring the car. I'll use the judges. You got the key, judge? Well, wait a minute. Thank you. Come on, Leroy. Hey, what about my A-tickets? What about them? He-he-he. Ronnie must be in the pump house, Leroy. Boy, what a racket. Hey, Uncle Charlie. Well, what do you want? Come up here, will you? Can't you see I'm busy? I want to talk to you for a minute. Oh, all right, Dad. Bust it. Talk, talk, talk. That's all anybody does around here. See, that's all anybody does. Some dirn fool called me up a little while ago, wanted to know what is the matter with the pressure. Dirn fool. The dirn fool was me. Oh. Well, it still goes. And I still want to know what's wrong. Come on outside, Charlie, where we can talk. Now, what's the trouble with the pressure? Well, what do you think it is? You've got eyes, ain't you? You've got ears. That dad-busted snifter valve. Can't run the pump only half speed. Why not? Because all it's holding together is a piece of bailing wire. That's why I'm not. Well, can't you hear? No. Well, maybe you... No, can't do a dad-busted thing. No, look here, Charlie. You may be running the pump, but I'm running the waterworks. Mr. Gillesleve, if you don't like the way I run the pump, you can get yourself another boy. No, I'll be reasonable, Charlie. If you needed a new part for the pump, you should have called it to my attention long ago, before it became an emergency. Why, dad-busted, I sent you a requisition for that snifter valve three months ago. I never saw it. Holy Toledo. No requisition for any snifter valve ever reached me. Sure it did, Aunt. What do you know about it? Well, don't you remember that time you tried to stand on your head at the picnic? Him stand on his head? Yeah, Mrs. Ransom dared him to. Leroy. You must do what a snifter valve was. I don't see how that could possibly be, Leroy, because, well, I never carry important papers around with me, or if I did, it must have been something, and, well, there's a war on, you know. What a character. That's your boy, Mr. Gildersleeve. He's my nephew. And you're inside swarming, you are. Yeah, chip off the old block, yeah. Charlie, you gotta help me out here. We gotta get that water pressure up some way. It's gonna look bad. Mr. Gildersleeve, if I was to put a full head of steam onto that snifter valve, she'd blow from here to Christmas. How do you know? You haven't tried it, have you? Of course I ain't tried it. What do you think? Well, couldn't you sort of humor it a little bit, you know, speed it up little by little, see how much it'll take? Mr. Gildersleeve, before I put another pound of steam onto that donkey engine, I'll quit. Yes, sir, you can get yourself another boy. Yeah, all right, boy, now keep your shirt on. Just show me how, and I'll do it myself. Show you how? Well, it's gotta be done, Charlie. We gotta get the pressure up some way, and right away. Oh, all right, I'll try it. But remember, if she blows, she blows. If she blows, she blows. I must be getting soft in the head. Come on. Be careful now, Charlie. It's a fine time to tell me that. Keep an eye on that pressure gauge when I open her up. Yeah, let her go. Yeah, that's the stuff. What's the gauge say? 245. It's coming up. 250. 260. 270. Great work, Charlie, keep it up. 280. 290. I haven't got sense enough not to take orders from somebody who doesn't know the first thing about pumps. You ought to quit. And watch out, or I'll get myself another boy. The elder sleeve will be with us again in just a few seconds. Who doesn't remember those good old Halloween parties when the whole family bobbed for apples and gobbled up huge fistfuls of crispy, crunchy popcorn? If everyone in your family likes popcorn as much as I do, try this at your Halloween get-together. Pop up an extra big bowl full of heaps and heaps of it. And to make it taste extra good, drench that popcorn with melted parquet margarine. Mmm, there's a way to really enjoy popcorn with delicious parquet. Of course, most everyone likes delicious, satisfying parquet margarine spread on bread, rolls, pancakes, and waffles. That's how it's enjoyed most often as a delicious spread. Parquet is wonderfully nourishing, too. One of the best energy food you can serve. And remember, each pound of parquet contains 9,000 units of important vitamin A. Parquet bears the seal of acceptance of the Council on Foods and Nutrition of the American Medical Association. So tomorrow, get parquet, P-A-R-K-A-Y, the quality margarine made by craft. Carry back the Great Gilder Sleeve. A king without a kingdom, a horseman without a horse, an organ grinder without a monkey. All these are well-fixed fellas alongside of a water commissioner without an H2O. But this is the flight in which our hero finds himself now as he sits in his office listening while his emergency staff handles the complaints of Summerfield's bone-dry citizen. Water department, service will be resumed as soon as possible. Water department... It's due to circumstances beyond our control. Service will be resumed as soon as possible. Water department? Service will be resumed at our earliest convenience. Birdie, that's not what I told you to say. Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Gillespie. No, sir, Mr. Gillespie isn't here. I'm sorry, sir, I can't answer that. Birdie, give me that telephone. Yes, sir. I told you this was a little out of my line, Mr. Gillespie. Yeah, never mind, Birdie. Hello, Gillespie talking. Oh, hello, Your Honor. Sheeper's a mayor. Well, I... Yeah. Huh? Yes, Your Honor, I'll be over right away. Oh, I gotta go see the mayor. Uh-oh. I'll be back in a few minutes. Water department. Say, how do I have to stay here all afternoon? Leroy, don't you want to help me? What else have you got to do? I've got to write my composition on how you make your living. Well, don't write it today. By tomorrow I may be in another line of work. Well, Gillespie, you certainly turned out to be a fine water commissioner. Your Honor, this was due to circumstances beyond my control. I'll do the talking. I just want to give you a little advice. Thank you. If this town stays dry about two hours longer, you'll probably be ridden out of it on a rail. But, Your Honor, it wasn't my fault. No. No, sir, it was due to circumstances beyond my control. In the first place, my chief engineer is incompetent. That's nothing to me or to the public. If your engineer is no good, get another one. I've looked all over town. There aren't any. Then you'll have to get along with the one you got. I can't do that, Your Honor. Why not? Well, in the first place, he used unbecoming language to me. I don't blame him. And in the second place, he quit. Gilders sleeve your dumber than I thought. I am not. Yes, you are. Now, I don't care how you do it, but get that water running this afternoon. Yes, Your Honor. Why did I ever get into politics? I could have had a nice quiet life selling insurance or lady stockings. Uh, hello, Charlie. I can't... Why... I've got to talk to you. I've got to talk to you. What's wrong, Dad? Well, I want to apologize. What? I want to apologize. I want to... Apologize. Well, that's different. That's weird. Well, I'm sorry. I said those things to you, Charlie. Will you come and fix the pump? No. I don't know when there was a catch to it. Will you come back, Charlie? Please? No, Mr. Gilders sleeve. I'm darned if I will. Charlie, this is an emergency. Summerfield is depending on me. Yeah, you are. Completely. Well, all I got to say is anybody depends on you as a darned jackass. Yes. Now, Charlie, let's try to discuss this in a dignified manner. There ain't anything to discuss, Mr. Gilders sleeve. No, look here, Charlie. I can probably take legal action in a case like this. Go ahead and take it. Judge Hooker is a pretty good friend of mine, you know. All right, let him fix the pump. That was not my idea. I'll get him to... you know, a darned telephone. The trouble with phones is some darned jackass is always calling up. You don't have to tell me. Hello, yes! What do you think about it? The pump's busted. I got to have it for dinner tomorrow. Well, Mr. Gilders sleeve, I guess I got to try to fix that darned pump after all. Great, Charlie. Great. I knew your civic pride wouldn't let summerfield down. Civic pride, my elbow. My wife's lady's got to have water tonight or I don't get a shirt for the elk's dinner. Right about here, commissioner. Here? Yes, yes, that's fine. Now, if you could just say a few words into the microphone, please, just testing, you know. Lady? Lady Heeson, gentlemen. Fine, fine. You'll be all right, commissioner. Now, we'll just stand by. Stand by. What does that mean? Ladies and gentlemen, we bring you at this time Summerfield's water commissioner, who has an important message for us regarding the crisis in the water supply. Mr. Throckmorton P. Gilders sleeve. Thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, due to circumstances beyond our control, the water's been off for several hours. This was caused by difficulties over priorities due to the war. That is, we were unable to secure a certain type of valve which our water pump required. Yes, yes, that's right. Clears up the situation nicely, commissioner. Now, would it be possible for you to make an estimate at this time regarding when service may be resumed? Oh, yes. Yes. I'm happy to say that a core of skilled engineers is now working on the pump under my personal supervision, and we confidently expect service will be resumed in the near future. In the near future, fine. Well, I'm sure that's very good news for our listeners, commissioner. And I want to thank you for coming up here to WSUM for this timely interview. Throckmorton P. Gilders sleeve. Oh, thank you. I would like to say again that this breakdown was due to circumstances. Thank you very much, commissioner. We continue now with our alternate football scores, ladies and gentlemen. Crowley teachers 85, Christian Aggies nothing. Football scores, that's radio for you. Can't you hold it any tighter than that? I'm sorry, Charlie. Things pretty slippery, you know. Let me hold it for a while on. No, Leroy, this requires great physical strength. Leroy. Don't bother him, Leroy. I hate to bring this up again, but have you any idea how soon? No, dad, bust it, I haven't. Well, you're the superintendent here, and in my radio speech, I promise... I don't give a triple hoot what you promised. I'm doing the best I can. But if I ain't fast enough for you, dad, bust it, go get yourself another superintendent. I was only joking. Uncle Charlie. I told you not to bother him, Leroy. I'm not bothering him, I just asked a simple question. You asked too many simple questions. If you don't want me to write my composition, it's okay with me. I just don't want you to bother Charlie. Now, what is it you want to know? That's part of the pumping machinery. Oh, what's it for? I don't know exactly. It has something to do with the pressure, I think. What is that for, Charlie? It's a shaft, Governor. Keeps the pump running smooth and steady. Oh, yeah, that's about what I thought. What are you laughing at? Oh, nothing. I just happen to think of a joke I heard one time in the Vorderville show. What was the joke, Uncle Charlie? He ain't bothering me. I'll tell you what, Commissioner, if you could give me a hand at this thing now, we might see if she'll go on. You mean we're almost finished? No, no, but we can see if she fits anyway. Oh, fine. Now, what is it you want me to do? Can you get down there under them stuffing boxes? Certainly I can. Where are they? Down there. Kind of dirty. Better put on them overholes, hanging on a hook. Oh, yes, yes. Here they are, Uncle. Thanks. A little greasy. They ain't greasy inside. I'll hand this thing right down to you. All right, Charlie. Dark down here, isn't it? Well, you get used to it. Now lay down under that there stuffing box. I have to lie down? Yes. Okay. Well, I'll try. What's the matter, Uncle? I had to hit that darn whatchamacallit. That's the shaft, Governor. I don't care what it is. Well, can you make it under there? Part me. Do you have a hole in the end? You got it? Yes. Where your shoulder is, you find a little hole. Yes. Hook the pin bolt into that hole. Yes. What's the matter now? My head's in a puddle of oil. Well, it washes off, easy. Can you get that pin bolt in? I'm trying. There. Fasten the valve at this end. Then she'll be solid. All right, but hurry up. And keep your shirt on, Dad. Put that wrench there, will you, son? Here. What was that joke you remember, Uncle Charlie? Don't be telling jokes while I'm down here. Like a rat in the trap. All right, all right. Feel pretty solid. That's more than I do. Can I come out now? Yeah, sure, I guess so. Yeah. No. Geez. All right, Charlie. What do we do now? Well, I'll be Dad's blame if I know. The first time I ever made a snifter valve out of a coffee grinder. Oh? Well, do something. We could try starting her if you want to take a chance. Go ahead. All right, here goes. But you've been wrong before. Never mind that. Stand back, Leroy. Don't worry. I'm a better engineer than I thought. Charlie, you're the greatest engineer in the world. I got out of a nasty hole yesterday, didn't I? You did, Gillie. You asked me, you were pretty lucky. Lucky? What do you mean? I was pretty smart. It was my idea to give that interview on the radio. Gave the public the right impression of the whole thing. All right, all right. You were smart. Of course he was. Uncle Morton's always smart. Oh, he didn't go into that. You can get my goat today, Horace. But you're right, Marjorie. They gotta get up pretty early in the morning and that's your uncle's rock morning. I could erect my career as easily as not. Hi, Judge. Hi, Uncle. Hello, beautiful. Stop that. Leroy, I've asked you not to slam the front door. Oh, sorry, Uncle. I forgot. What do you think? What? My composition was voted the best in the class and they're gonna print it in the summer field indicator tomorrow. Congratulations. Is this on the level, Leroy? I'd love to hear it. Okay. Chip off the old block. My uncle's occupation. My uncle is a water commissioner and he has a very difficult position which he carries out with great efficiency supplying water to the people of summer field. Well, that's fine, Leroy. Not so bad, eh, Horace? Splendid. Splendid. He has to see that everyone gets water in their house or their place of business, which is very complicated. Very complicated. Oh, that boy writes with a real style by George. In addition, my uncle supervises all of the machinery that filters the water and pumps it into the pipes and he has to see that the pipes are in good condition. People don't realize what a difficult occupation my uncle has. Yes, sir. The boy's right. The reason the water was off yesterday was just because he left a requisition in his other pants. Leroy. The end. The end is right. Talk about Christmas after what you've done today. Now go away and let me read my newspaper. Well, gee, I wish I knew how I could make some money. Mow the lawn. It doesn't grow anymore. Break the leaves. I told you, Leroy, you don't get anything for nothing in this world. Here. Wait a minute. Here's something. For nothing? Well, practically. Here's a way to make some money. Collect old newspapers and the junk dealer downtown will give you $15 for a ton of them. $15? Hey, that's a lot of money. Yeah, but a ton is a lot of paper. Nonsense. You and your friends could collect it in a couple of afternoons. But there's 100 pounds of old newspapers in our basement right now. Boy, maybe Piggy and I could make some real money. Sure. Collect newspapers, magazines, wrapping paper, paper bags, all kinds of paper. But we need a wagon. Get an old baby carriage, Leroy. Hide the papers up in neat bundles and the junk man will come and get it. Boy, we'll be rich. Well, not rich. But the money isn't the main thing anyway. It's the army and navy that need the paper. More for? For all kinds of things. Let's see. It says here, the waste paper is used to make containers and cartons for food, supplies, and equipment needed at the front. 100 pounds of waste paper will make containers for 50, 75 millimeter shells. Yay. Waste paper is used to make bomb fins, parachute flares, camouflage paper, cartons for field rations, fuses, helmets. It's even used to pack blood plasma. So you see every time you collect a load of paper, my boy, you're not only making money, but you're backing up the army, navy, and the Marines all over the world. I'm talking to you too, ladies and gentlemen. Good night. This program was directed by Claude Swig. This is Ken Sopperner speaking for the Crafts Cheese Company, inviting you to listen again next Sunday for the further adventures of The Great Yielders League. This program has come to you from Hollywood. 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