 And if you haven't been able to figure out I mean this this space like I said at the beginning It's kind of somewhere between like a conference and a retreat and it's it's For us, it's so valuable to be able to create and carve out a space that puts the presence of God first and his ministry primary But in that place be able to awaken who we are and I think you know We're in a time too like if you love the presence of God and you love the arts like man We gotta we gotta stick together y'all like it's getting darker out there I don't know if anyone noticed but you know the two I have such a high Regard I guess for the role of the artisan going in to the hour that we we live in Just scripturally I think songwriting writing Creativity, I mean it just is at the center of the stage and it was for Israel and that's what Jesus Jesus actually is quoted in acts even though he doesn't say it in the Gospels But I will rebuild the tabernacle of David before I return in that that returning to the presence of God and the the the time of the Ark in the in the center of the tabernacle really was this Renaissance and revival of music and poetry and song in Israel's history and all kind of was awakened together and I believe that is what's going to happen and what is happening through songwriters and creatives and and So important to be able to gather together and so this afternoon We get the honor and privilege to hear from Chelsea Ebe. She's one of the most talented gifted Artists I've ever seen she she has the ability. I was just I was just telling somebody The she does a lot of portrait art and I just she she paints Paintings and the ability to translate emotion is just unbelievable And Chelsea is someone who's very in touch with her emotions and she does not hide them a ton Which makes her really fun and hilarious, but but just such a deep well With the Lord and and creativity super honored to be able to hear from her and it's kind of the next step In kind of these creative writing Exercises so really really encourage ask mandate however I can say it That you do these alongside even if you skimped out and didn't do The creative writing exercise with me re-sign up do it again I really believe the Lord is going to unlock something in you and give you some some brand new tools in your creativity to leave unstuck so If you would join me in showing honor to Chelsea Ebe eyes are open now And I see the empty promises of the world before me crying out come build on our sunken ground But I remember our history And I ask my heart who can hold back these arrows mend these bruised shoulders Only you you watched eternity open up like a flower and you watch me now So how can I stumble when your strength carries my need? Your watch gives me rest and I dream But you don't close your eyes in the midst of my world in the shadow of your glory I Do not feel the heat of my labor Or fear the light of the moon For your love never sleeps Every step you go before me and This is our history that God Keeps me. This is a song that poem that I wrote inspired by Psalm 121 and I wrote it Because I am an artist because God created me to be most connected to him and to another In emotion and poetic word The artist is the hear the seer The dreamer The curious child The beautifier But I'm not here to tell you what an artist is or even why we need artists in the body today I'm here to talk to you about The journey and the one thing and first I want to tell you a little bit about My story into being an artist from the beginning when I was very young art which was mainly in the form of writing and music Was my escape my escape from trauma from pain and fear and As I grew up and got older and I was in school. I didn't know God. I Felt like I had this voice somewhere But I was shutting it down with my pain And by the time I was in high school I Had gotten into drugs. I Had no hope for a future so I didn't do well in school. I skipped class. I never studied. I never did my homework and But when I'm was in my junior and senior year I Took a couple classes ceramics and metalwork and I really I felt this voice and This thing And I had one teacher that believed in me that she wanted me to go to art school and she even wrote me this wonderful letter of recommendation But it was too late. I had already squandered my education and Even though I graduated there was no hope of me getting accepted to any school so That part of me died and I spiraled out Fast-forward 19 years old and this is not my testimony if you ever want to hear it. I'll tell you but that's not what this is 19 years old homeless strong out My life is radically changed And hearing his voice over my life And by the time I was 24 years old I was married. I had kids I was baptized in the holy spirit And I felt something something calling It was like the lord was calling something out this voice that had been That had been tried to be snuffed out and one day I'm on worship team with my husband And I look over at this young drummer kid on our team and I have this Intense like imagery in my mind this word over his life And I hear the lord say I want you to show him this word to paint this and I was like Oh my gosh, I've really lost it now like This weird times a thousand And I was like lord, I don't know how to draw. I don't know how to paint like I did metal work and stuff But I've never took a drawing class. I don't know how to do any of this And I just kept feeling like he was saying I will teach you trust me And so I go home and I start just experimenting with all these different mediums and And getting really frustrated because I did not It wasn't good initially And but I kept every time that I just wanted to give up. I just felt like the lord say I will teach you trust me And so I kept going And then one day It's really weird. I don't even know how to explain it But I was using pastels and I was drawing this figure and it had a hand and hands are like super hard to draw And there was this moment That something just changed something opened up and I suddenly felt like I understood What I needed to do to solve Whatever an art it just opened up in my mind and from that point on I just got Better really quickly um And it just felt so obviously divine to me And so I paint this picture I give it to him and it was the most awkward thing in the world because he's a 15-year-old kid and I'm like Hey, did you this picture? You know like But his parents loved it and were so encouraging to me But it was the lord it was the lord And I've even gotten to see like him come into that word and it's just so awesome, but like It opened up this thing. I was like, oh my gosh. This was it. This was what I was feeling God I was so excited And I was drawing all the time and I was painting all the time and then people were like Asking to buy stuff or they were like wanting me to draw their really weird dreams And I didn't want to draw their dreams and But then I start going to this place that was like, well, how do I how do I charge for something that God like gifted me with Like am I just supposed to go around everywhere and paint prophetic pictures all day and You know, I don't want to draw these dreams. Am I supposed to be drawing these dreams and You know, and I was just like freaking out about it And so I would pull away and shut down because I was scared And then later I would like go to the other side and be like, well, God, you know what you care about my dreams And I should be the most Successful artist there is because I have the Holy Spirit and you know, I'm gonna make money and support my family And so I'm like going after this business thing and I'm really not good at business at all and And it didn't work out that you know, how I was imagining it would and so then I was like I'm obviously out of the will of God like I missed it I you know, it's a mess and then I would just it was just this ping pong thing of like Then my kids were in the way. Why would you give me this when I have no time to do it? And you know and people were like, why do you draw such sad stuff? Don't you ever like smiles and like I don't know like I don't know and And I was just so afraid and then at the very end it was just like And Caleb's heard me say this because I've talked about in front of them like Why the heck does it even matter when people are dying in Afghanistan and all these places for their faith And I'm just supposed to believe that God made me an artist And I'm gonna draw these pictures and I had to get before the Lord And just say, God, there's so many voices, but I gotta have your voice I gotta have your voice for my life And it was in that place that I could hear him say, Chelsea, I gave you art because I knew you would love it. I knew you would love to paint I knew that you would love to dream and make visions And just try to explain things in a new way in poetic language. I knew that you would love it And what I'm trying to say is so often we hear the call of God and we feel this pull from him But then we want to try to set up our future in it or we feel like God is leading some sort of treasure map Where we have to figure it out And we can have a pure heart that really just wants to do what God has called us to do But we think that it's about what we can do for God When it's always been about what we will do with him have to hear his voice And the way that we work with him Is by hearing his voice over our lives because if you are listening to his voice You're not gonna miss it You're not And the more that we know who we are the more that we will be able to see who others are and who God has called them to be Do you know that a biblical Sign of maturity is being able to weep with those who weep And rejoice with those who rejoice But if you don't have the voice of God Over your life then the weeping of others will overwhelm you And the success of others particularly in that thing that you most long for Will crush you it will make you bitter and cold-hearted But the voice of God Brings free and joy it teaches our hearts to say I will see your goodness in the land of the living So that's what we're doing today. We're gonna walk through a journal prompt And we're gonna use some visual images And we're gonna hear the voice of God because we all have expectations that we've set for ourselves or that others have or whatever else But we need to know what God so I want to tell you a little bit about how I came up with this Little journal practice that we're gonna do this is just a tool. This is not like the way or whatever But um the way that I kind of journal I love journaling obviously I've done it forever, but um I Sometimes I'll just you know, maybe a concept or a thought kind of goes in my brain And I I don't exactly know what God's trying to say so I'll just kind of sketch out ideas or whatever And so at this point this was 2020 Lockdown and I was listening to A friend of mine was doing a teaching about like the emotions going through our emotions with God and depressions kind of things like that and And he said this statement about self-hatred, which I wouldn't have said that I You know like hate myself or anything like that, but Um, he had said self-hatred is really just a really twisted form of self love Because you love this person that you've created in your mind so much that you hate Who you are And you hate who God Is trying to make you And it actually becomes this idle In our heart because all we want is that perfect version of ourselves that we've made And we're unable to see what God is doing And I was like, you know the Lord was like There's something there Chelsea like and so I was like Lord. I feel like I've made an idol I've made this This person that I've wanted to be and that's why I get stuck In discouragement and all these things and critical attitude and stuff like that And so I was like Lord, what do I do? I know I can say sorry and repent But like what do I do to get rid of this and I felt like Lord's like you have to see it You have to name it and so I started sketching my my idol And and then asking the Holy Spirit To show me Who the perfect self is So I want you guys to have your journals out If you don't already And I'm going to encourage you to try drawing I'm not going to teach you to draw today and this is just for yourself. It's a tool So if this like is freaking you out Don't even worry about it But and for the first we're doing two parts to this, okay So the first half we're going to ask the Holy Spirit to show us This idol self So let's if you can do the screen that has just my sketches of the different idol drawing inspiration Okay, so can you guys see this? all right so I Sketched out some examples so that you can at least just copy one of these if you want Or you can just be inspired yourself and I did different levels All the way down to stick figure if that's what you want Or just writing perfect self like you cater. This is a tool So I did this kind of like roman thing because I was thinking you know the idols the roman days you had gods and goddesses So that's what I chose Um And if you want to move to the next slide You guys are about to know a whole lot about me so This was my perfect self And when we get started you can even start sketching now if you want to But we're gonna we're gonna draw Our little perfect self and we're going to ask the Holy Spirit to show us Who we've been going after and you know what some of you May maybe you're not quite like me. Maybe Maybe you feel great Maybe you're in the best season of your life like every song you sing slaps and you know like You got your bodacious babe and like you are just killing it alive right now if that's you Then ask the Holy Spirit is there something in my life That isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I've made it an ultimate thing And if that thing was gone would I be okay? So This is you and the Lord so you use it However, you me, but I'm gonna go ahead and read you The ones that the Lord showed for me And when you read them like they're ridiculous like you know that it's not possible But this is like the reality here of what you're believing so Has the best ideas for every situation Perfectly manages home always meet and organized hair always beautiful cooks delicious healthy foods by hand every day Nothing hurts her Totally in shape no wrinkle scars body like youth Lives an inspirational life in all that she does Leads others and goals and dreams Majorly successful business woman and entrepreneur Writes poems and songs that deeply impact the masses every time Every moment of her life is productive The best at anything she tries immediately Flawless has all the answers raises children that never misbehave or struggle Can fix anything or anyone doesn't need anyone and if you look I try to write The ones that feel like really deep and targeted I write really big Or sometimes I will go back over them and like circle things Home schools every day to perfection Where we're engaged and having fun every day is a success Creates artwork constantly that earns lots of money for our family And recognition Always full of joy the most enjoyable person doesn't feel rejection or pain Always says the right thing her voice is always beautiful and our melodies always those are all ridiculous But That was what I was expecting of myself because If I go to a prayer set and I can't think of a cool Like if a melody doesn't come to me and I'm crushed for the rest of the evening I was expecting to have an amazing melody every single time If I have a day that my kids are not listening to me and I'm a mess I'm expecting them to be okay all the time So So yeah, those they're gonna sound ridiculous, but let the Holy Spirit reveal to you Okay, so then the next part is when we repent and this is just you Responding to this And I'll read you mine Lord, forgive me for loving this false ideal self that I created And thus hating who you've created me to be Forgive me for wanting to be someone who doesn't need you Forgive me for thinking that I could have done better had I been the creator Forgive me for not hearing Seeing or speaking what you want me to because my eyes have been on her I have been alert not by my god, but by her I haven't wanted you But her I haven't wanted to be your child because I have only wanted to be her Forgive me Forgive me Now just as I form this powerless idol Would you give me the strength to crush her so that nothing would hold my heart back from being completely Surrender to you and the story that you long to write with my life We're gonna get going on this and we're gonna listen to some really amazing music And lord, I just pray right now as we begin that you would just be so close You are so kind lord, would you speak right now? Would you help us to be completely surrender to you? Sorry We have 30 minutes. I forgot to say so Don't panic and rush Just listen and wait on the lord and while you're waiting and listening you can just Feel free to sketch Once again if it's getting overwhelming just simplify it and move on If you tried drawing honestly surprised I wasn't sure um anyone feel like The lord revealed things that maybe they didn't see Before So we're going into the best part and we're going to journal the father's voice Um, so we're gonna draw again so get a new page And this time we're asking the question god, how have you made me? And i'm not going to give you any inspiration for your drawings this time Because this is more personal and uh once again You don't have to draw if you don't want to you can just write your name whatever um I for mine you can go ahead and put it up there. Um, I did a flower because Once long ago I some Crazy charismatic person told me that I should Ask the lord for a nickname And uh And so I did And I felt like he said I was his flower And I had some confirmations for that, but I really did not like that at all Uh because oh a girl called flower like so cliche First of all and second of all I like to be really tough and flowers are stupid. They're just weak and They die in like a week It's crazy how much the lord has spoken to me over the years about being a flower even sometimes I'll hear him say my flower Don't confuse yourself with the thorns And so this is another place where the visual stuff can be really special And so I want to encourage you If you want You can ask the lord for a nickname Or a picture or maybe it's just something that you like whatever Let that be your inspiration And then we're gonna ask god How have you made me? And we're going to list just like we did before but But this is who god sees in us. This is what he's put into us So I'll read mine beauty maker finder Gentle and caring Curious and intrigued by beauty Funny and light-hearted bold and strong Attentive and engaged mother a seeker of my face Authentic communicator empathetic Willing to sit with the hurting Leader and understanding the heart Confident and stable heart investor story teller unique perspective Action oriented and then after we finish that We're going to journal the father's voice in response to us. So here's mine Chelsea my flower I've made you curious deep feeling and thinking You notice beauty in places that others don't You're fun and enjoyable to be with and pull out who people really are with your questions and your openness You make people feel safe and seen you have a voice like thunder that shakes hearts awake and words that balm over wounds Your perspective brings people in and out And you've been afraid of your softness, but in reality It's your greatest strength It kneels beside the hurting Your weaknesses are what keep us bound to one another as we co-labor together Slowly so that we see all the beauty along the way Trust the process Because you trust me I care for you I will not forget you So we're gonna take Another 30 minutes about It's gonna change everything I just have a just this short encouragement. I know you guys are Deep in oh, that's beautiful It's a lot better in my dry. Um for some of you The journaling the father's voice is over yourself is going to be really difficult Um, and you won't know where to start and I if that if you feel like that's the case Don't get stuck and then not do it Join in with this and just It's as easy as just starting with the written promises of god The script he's already made his heart Known and manifest to us in scripture And so you can write those promises of what god speaks over his people and you can just start with i'm chosen And i am beloved by the father. I'm the apple of his eye On the lily of the valley you can begin with those scriptural promises and then just let it flow And let it become personal and let him speak to you directly Keep going you're doing great We're gonna keep going in this environment. Some of you are already just beginning to respond In praise and this is what happens the father speaks he breathes into us We inhale that grace and we breathe back out his praise as he unlocks things in our hearts and Praise starts erupting from our hearts and so keep writing if you're in that place but Feel free to just begin responding. Some of you as the father speaks phrases all of a sudden It's just making other things come alive and your heart and the natural overflow that is is singing so we're gonna keep Just resting in his presence keep writing about the father and we're gonna even just have some prophetic singers come forward And they're just gonna sing the father's Perspective as the music just keeps leading us into this place of worship and adoration Father we just respond to your voice right now. We respond to your love We just ask that you would continue to speak over us lord speak identity Lord, I ask for lies that have had footholds for 10 years 20 years 30 years broken in a moment Lord insecurities deep wounds that have been there for decades lord healed in a moment Lord take us back to moments even in our childhood on and show us Who you are Speak to us speak your words of life over us Speak your words of truth Father we're listening or we're ready to respond and praise back to you Let's keep responding to this as we're singing Let's just turn our praise toward the father in this moment as we are now He is spoken to us and now we are releasing praise back to him And so in this moment, let's just begin lifting our voices and just Filling this place with songs of thanksgiving songs of gratitude Songs of just declaring who he is Great is the lord and greatly to be praised Holy holy holy all in his temple cry glory You have pulled me up from the myri clay. You've set my feet upon the rock Yours is the kingdom the glory And the power Jesus for saving me. Thank you for rescuing me. Thank you for speaking to me Yeah, come on. Let's keep just filling this place with our songs of gratitude and our praise The last thing is we close the session and it's kind of what we typically do whenever we transition out of a worship song But it's a deeply powerful part of our praise. It's the Shabbak. It's the shout of God That we release in praise and there's something that goes beyond Words when the deepest place from the inside of us That doesn't have the perfect language although we try but releases a sound and a shout That just brings victory. And so I'm gonna Count down and we're gonna lift up a shout of praise and and I want we've been We've been journaling and putting down different things insecurities sins hurts wounds things that That the Lord He's not passive about those things that he is the line of the tribe of Judah and he roars over the things That get in our way and sometimes we look at his roar and his shout and we get scared because we think he's He's roaring at us because he's angry But he's roaring at the enemies of love those things that are stealing our attention and our affection And so when I count down, let's just join in With the Shabbak of God the shout of God releasing victory And do it from 10. It seems like he'll give us more time to 10 nine eight seven six five four three two Awesome. Thank you. Chelsea so much for leading us and that is amazing powerful Thank you worship team and band singers. That was awesome Um, awesome. Well, it's 402 Sorry, we went two minutes over We're gonna be back in here at 6 30 tonight We're gonna have extended time of worship and ministry and message So really excited about that have an amazing dinner get a chance to if you're here with your team Get a good chance to connect with them if you're here alone. Maybe connect with somebody new awesome