 signal gasoline let every traffic signal remind you you do go farther with signal yes you do go farther with signal the signal oil company and your neighborhood signal dealer bring you another curious story by the whistler tonight the dead man laughs and I know many things for I walked by night I know many strange tales hidden in the hearts of men and women who stepped into the shadows yes I know the nameless terror of which they dare not speak that a man should laugh is not strange that Henry Baker laughs and under the circumstances was very strange or so the reporters seem to think but then they didn't know they had no idea of why Henry laughs and so they didn't see the humor of the situation but suppose we start back at the beginning and perhaps it will be clear in the beginning there was Charles Finch Charles Finch aging gray growing bald with a pronounced bulls at the girth a man respected and admired in the community president of a large construction company successful or so it seems but it all started the day Charles Finch sat across the desk when his partner Malcolm Guthrie big love and hard and Charles said you can't do this to me you can't and is a word you taught me never to use Finch and I learned the lesson well I not only can I'm doing it in fact I've done I am now sole owner of the Finch and Guthrie construction company and you're out completely Malcolm how can you do a thing like that you know what this company means to me I started it I built it made it successful it's my whole life I've sacrificed everything for it marriage a home happiness everything you can't know what you're doing to me oh Finch you're a fool a fool yes a fool if you gave up everything for this a fool if you let it mean so much to you a fool if you didn't protect yourself anybody than you did well I'm not a sentimentalist thing I'm a hard-headed businessman I saw my chance to feather my own nest and I took it you'd have done the same if you've been smart enough that you weren't no so I won and you're finished you cold-blooded swindler get out Finch all right all right you don't have to throw me out I'll go but you haven't heard the last of me yet Guthrie I'll pay you back if it's the last thing I ever do yeah I'm scared to death well you do kill me I suppose and might not be a bad idea yeah well you'd better make it good Finch you'd better figure all the angles many of people know how you feel about me and if they found me plugged you'd try for it and you know it so you better figure something practically perfect if you can okay maybe I'll do that I'm not worried you haven't got the guts of the brains go on pinch beat it beat it get out of here and I don't want to see you around here anymore don't worry you'll see me again only once more and it'll be the last look you'll ever have of me or anyone you're as good as dead now so long cut with the prologue of tonight's story the dead man laughed the signal oil company brings you another of the strange tales of the whistler now before the story continues the signal oil company wants to pass along the war production board warning to drivers about increasingly serious shortage of tires due to stepped up military needs the already low quota of new civilian tires for the first quarter of this year has been cut over 30% what's plain to see what this is going to mean with so few new tires available the only way to be sure your car will have tires is to keep your present tires in sound condition so they can be successfully recap little injuries to the outer walls must be promptly repaired before they can spread and weaken the important inner carcass of the tire and retreading must be done before the present thread is worn too thin this requires two things one frequent inspection by the man with the experience and know how of your signal gasoline dealer and two the finer quality workmanship and materials that the name signal stands for yes and there's a third point your cooperation in not putting off this service until you have a flat and your tire is damaged beyond retreading the tire shortage is now your tires need signals go farther service now and the place to get it is your neighborhood signal gasoline dealer and now back to the whistler old French Malcolm Guthrie has only himself to blame for what is coming doesn't he he gave you not only the motive for murder by swindling you out of your share of the company he gave you also the idea for murder his murder which you promised to carry out but how Charles how you haven't figured that out yet have you and as Guthrie said it has got to be good very good because you don't want to die for it do you and so you rack your brain for the perfect crime and you're lost in thought as you walk home along your usual path through the park lost in thoughts until huh I'm gonna bite you all day oh sure I I say haven't I seen you around here before well maybe I sort of stay here in the park sometimes I haven't got a home to go to yes yes well here here's a quarter see thanks mr. thanks that's all right now what's on your mind Charles why are you standing there staring after the shabby tramp as he shuffles off through the hash joint on the corner what's that look in your eye and what did you mean by it's all right yes that's it of course what could be more perfect yes perfect isn't it Charles the very idea you needed and what makes it so funny is that Guthrie furnished this for you too it was he's one day as the two of you walk through this park pointed out the tramp yes the very same tramp and what was it Guthrie called him dead ringer dead ringer for me yes yes Charles a dead ringer same age same size same graying balding head same punch it was a funny coincidence at the time now it's funny but in a different way because that shabby old tramp has started the ideas going around in your head and you follow him don't you Charles watching him go into the hash joint order some food and sit down you pace up and down in front of the door watching him eat and by his manner you realize something that's almost too good to be true you go in and slip into the chair beside him you mind if I sit down here huh oh no I guess not you know I'm surprised you're able to eat sandwich is so well with your false teeth I never can oh I get along all right say that was swell of you to stake me for this I maybe I can pay you back sometime oh forget it forget it you you haven't got a job have you just who are you mister hop hop certainly not what's your racket no racket I assure you this is strictly legal strictly on the up and up yeah well I've been plenty careful so far I never been pulled in by the bulls and I don't want to begin now I assure you what I have to offer will get you in no trouble with the police well you haven't done oh oh haman eggs please okay I'm listening well it's this way I want you to help win a bet for me tonight yes I have a friend of mine that well I bet him that I could pick up the hobo off the street clean and dress him up and pass him off as a polished businessman I think you're the man I need just about my side so my clothes will fit you and you can have them to keep after and what else goes with them oh yes yes a hundred dollars I might even throw in a bottle of scotch which is more valuable these days for one nice work you got a lot of dough for just a joke well I I'm not financially strapped exactly I guess you're not but you're sure this is legal all right you know I can't afford to take no chances absolutely no here's my car it has my address I'll expect you there tonight hey hey this is a long walk way out here here's five dollars that should get you there and don't spend it on liquor I'll have plenty of that and good stuff when you get there okay don't worry when I rest of this lettuce I'll be there with bells down oh we can do without the bells as a matter of fact since this is to be a surprise be sure to keep it a secret better come in through the side door from the side street and don't let anybody see you come in huh well he he might come early I wouldn't want the joke spoiled just by his seeing you go in taking chances oh yeah okay I'll get an alright about eight then yeah fine don't worry you'll see it'll be a great joke in fact it'll kill him yes it will won't it Charles you've figured the perfect way to kill Malcolm Guthrie and this tramp is going to be a big help a big help you'll never get another chance like this one never maybe that's why you're so nervous as you paste the floor of your home waiting for him to come supposing he doesn't suppose he got drunk with that five dollars suppose he's lying in some gutter somewhere right now you'd never find another perfect double like that even to this false teeth you were a fool to trust the hobo Charles he's probably taking your five and headed out of town but no there he is right on the dot of eight and you breathe a sigh of relief as you open the door hi mr. well hello hello I mean you're right on time as you could come some way out she got here hey you weren't kidding when you said she was well healed oh it'll do and it won't be long before you fit right into the surroundings as if it were yours well I don't know about that I kind of feel like a fish out of water but if you think so you were careful about coming in nobody saw you oh no no I'm sure nobody saw me wasn't nobody in sight good good if you just step into the bathroom over here you'll find everything you need saving things take a good clothes shave a hot shower then put on the clothes I have hanging there Christmas look at that a real monkey suit and brothers so come the way yes put it all on don't leave off a thing everything will fit you I'm sure hey this is almost like a dream I never thought I'd be picked out of a monkey suit like this until I was laid out for me home funeral a monkey suit for his funeral he doesn't know how right he is does he Charles and Guthrie if he only knew what plans are unfolding you wait impatiently for the trap to complete his change it's very important that it be complete that he resemble you closely will he did you figure it right well you know in a moment the door opens and you're clenched your fist oh how's this I wouldn't have believed it not bad huh perfect hey how's about a slug at that stuff you promised me oh yes yes certainly certainly the Scott here I'll pour you a glass yeah you know I did just like you said I didn't have a drink all day hey that looks like good stuff don't see much of that anymore yeah try this yeah yeah thanks hey that it's the spot yeah you know you know I think I'm gonna like this kind of life here have another help yourself to the bottle no fallen well thanks hey when when do we get the pay off in this joke oh any minute now by the way what's your name Baker Henry Baker Baker that one tastes just like another hey you know this is the life funny thing I almost didn't come up here no why not oh I don't know seems sort of fishy money guy like you picking me up to do a job for real letters and I figured there must be some catch to it somewhere but all I got to say now is it hey hey what's up what's the big idea look what's what what's the gun for you you ain't gonna hey mr. cut it out no don't don't shoot that's it Baker in joke first step or should I call you Henry Baker who answers the description of Charles French lying dead on the floor is face this figure just enough now it's a simple matter to take out his bald teeth exchange them with yours put on the clothes of the tramp and then quickly sprinkle kerosene over the body the room and set a match to it in five minutes the fire is spread to the drapes the furniture and now it's time to get out fast not too fast Charles no one in sight but don't hurry now at the corner pause look around not a soul in sight you're clear Charles French pardon me Henry Baker Charles Prince lies dead in his home doesn't he the flames licking away any telltale identification and completing your job and you're on your way to pay a debt it's slowly Charles tomorrow Thursday will be Guthrie chauffeur's day off he'll drive home tomorrow night by himself and you'll be waiting beside the garage until then you take a room in a cheap hotel your Henry Baker hobo now the next day you stop in and see about the ticket you ordered for Mexico it'll be ready Friday afternoon the day after you got Guthrie just right perfect everything's all set all you have to do is wait for tonight and how would Henry Baker do that why sit in the park of course yeah sure there you are how's it gone okay same as usual I guess ain't it the truth it's getting tough to be on the street these days well I like it's not a guy'll just come up and off your job right on the street say yeah that's your paper there yeah and if I take a look don't go nice wealthy clubman murdered see is that in this town yeah Germany somebody's always bumping somebody else off yeah it seems so and this guy was burnt up couldn't hardly identify him it says here yeah except his dentist identified his false teeth I read it yeah probably some dame sounds like a dame playing with fire hey what am I laughing about only means trouble to me trouble sure them dumb cops when they can't find the right guy in one of them things they come down here and run us all in you mean a rest your us bums sure just a routine roundup you know like they're always doing keep us there a couple of days just so they can tell the newspapers they got some suspects and I hope they get that guy real quick otherwise me and you better hit the road for a while yeah I'm not worried that's just what I plan to do hit the road I got a couple of things to attend at first yeah just a couple yes Charles another 24 hours and you'll be on your way to Mexico free and revenge but now it's time to get started at 11 you're waiting in the shadows by Guthrie's garage he's always arrived home from the club about this time everything is perfect for the climb back up with your hands but what is it sit back in the garage and you will find out okay okay all right keep your hands up it's money you want my wallet I'm not interested in your money right turn around you'll see what I mean but I still don't get it maybe if I stepped into the shaft the moonlight pinch yes are you surprised but the papers paper said you were dead murdered yes I know you thought I was dead and so did the police it's just what I wanted them to think now when they find you they'll never dream Charles Finch could have done it will after all a dead man can't kill can he look pinch you don't know what you're doing you can't do that I you told me that once before said I didn't have brains but that's enough but now you see a mistake I did have guts enough I've always already killed a man I did have brains enough because the police think that man was Charles Finch so I'm free I'll never be caught for this look pinch pinch let's keep your hands out let's talk this over keep your hands up all right all right I'll pay you anything give you the business I've got enough to take me to Mexico start over after I take care of you pinch give me a chance for God's sake I'll do anything you say that's right get down on your knees crawl that's the way I wanted to see you I'll confess everything confess it all give you back everything do anything as a pinch don't go well Charles your revenge is complete and back in your shabby hotel room you sleep soundly there's no qualm of conscience no ache of remorse as you walk through the park next morning you did what you had to do and you're satisfied all it needs to be done now is to go to the ticket office and get your passage to freedom it's all so simple isn't it hey both me yeah you come on get going what's the matter cops cops come on don't waste time come on like I told you yesterday around up only I didn't expect it so soon come on get moving if we throw out the other end of the park they may miss us it's not a back there and oh okay you too wait a minute what's the matter copper I ain't done nothing never mind get over there and get in the wagon you too bum but officer you have no right to do that so I said get over there and get in the wagon but I've done nothing I'll add to the show up crowd come on you're going in this is something you hadn't counted on isn't a child but then there's nothing to worry about is there they can't possibly connect the hobo Henry Baker with the murders and your friend the other hobo told you they'd only keep you a couple of days that means only that your trip will have to be delayed a little but what difference does that make as long as you've got away in the end your fingerprinted and photographed and stood up in the line under the lights but you're not worried not really step forward when I call your name Alonzo Allen Alonzo Allen alias Allen James vagrant 37 5 feet 10 132 dark complexion brown eyes brown hair picked up on suspicion rearrest for vacancy all right step back Henry Baker yes I'm Henry Baker any Baker vagrant 54 5 feet 8 170 gray hair blue eyes picked up on suspicion don't record something is wrong you sense that don't you Charles think that the silence lengthens you stand there straining the perspiration pops out on your forehead you listen intently waiting for that step back your eyes strain into the blackness out there but you can't make anything out not even those faces staring up at you what's wrong how could anything be wrong Henry Baker step down no no not that way out here we want to ask you some questions what did you say your name was Henry Baker what other names have you used none sure that course I'm sure my name is Henry Baker okay now take a look at those what there I guess fingerprints yes your fingerprints the ones we made a few minutes ago well take a good look notice the little worlds there very distinctive one see yes okay now take a look at these notice anything different no neither do I they're the same fingerprints they yours and it doesn't take an expert to see it so what so nothing only this second set of prints we got off of a liquor glass in the burned house of a guy who was murdered a couple of days ago guy by the name of Charles Finch that name familiar to you I never heard of him okay that's your story but we're booking you booking you for murder that's not all of tonight's story the whistler will return in just a moment with a strange ending of tonight's tale meantime here are two tips for making today's ration gasoline go farther tip number one is from Uncle Sam it's car pooling and it's saving gasoline for millions of motorists take the case of four men driving to work each in his own car by riding together three of the men can leave their cars at home gasoline tires and wear and tear are saved on three cars yes car pooling really works and now tip number two this one is from thousands of western motorists who for years have kept track of their gasoline mileage and found they do go farther with signal gasoline do I hear you saying but today's gasoline's aren't what they used to be true certain ingredient which gave gasoline but there's the important point today as always signal is producing the finest quality gasoline that can be made and signal still places the emphasis on mileage if you haven't tried signal in your car it's high time you discover that all of today's gasoline's are not the same invest your next ration coupons in the famous longer mileage gasoline signal go farther gasoline and now back to the whistler yes Charles Finch you forgot about the fingerprint you made a mistake of pouring the tramp a glass of liquor the glass was found beside the body of course later they found your prints all over what was left of the home and so they booked you for murder but then not exactly you Charles Finch they booked Henry Baker for the murder they convicted Henry Baker they sent him to the execution chamber and the reporters wondered why just before the switch was thrown you threw back your head and laughed laughed long and loudly until suddenly you could laugh no more they didn't see the humor in the situation you were the only one who saw that because you were the only one who knew you were being executed for your own murder the murder of Charles Finch you couldn't tell them who you really were without exposing yourself to another murder that of Malcolm Guthrie so you died for murdering yourself and when you laughed it was a dead man laughing the at nine o'clock the whistler will bring you another strange tale the curious story of how murder opens a gate the whistler is broadcast for your entertainment by the marketers of signal gasoline and motor oil and fine quality automotive accessories and by your neighborhood signal dealer this program directed by George W. Allen with tonight's story by Lewis Herman music by Wilbur hatch is transmitted to our troops overseas by the armed forces radio service Bob Anderson speaking and suggesting that you let every traffic signal remind you you do go farther with signal gasoline yes you do go farther with signal this is CBS the Columbia Broadcasting System