 what peace around relationships are you now viewing things differently as you go through change in your life? Oh, this is so good. So I think that let's separate them into intimate relationships, romantic relationships, and then friendships. Yeah. So for intimate relationships, I think the most important thing is to think of the relationship as a holding space for the partnership for you as individuals, if you have kids for the family unit to evolve and grow. And that is so different than how, you know, my parents and like the baby boomers like control, like, you know, make mom happy. Like the job of the relationship is to be, I think, and this is not a relationship therapist. This is just my theory out of researching this book is it's to be like an easy chair that like feels really comfortable to sit in, but to allow for a whole lot of flexibility and change in how you relate to your partner, how you relate to your children, how they relate to you, how the intimacy plays out, but then also to have those kind of rugged core values that like make the relationship what it is. So to have a few things, like, you know, I really love this person for these three things. And therefore I'm going to be totally fine if they change in 19 other ways. I want them to change in 19 other ways. I think it's also really important not to feel like you need to change the exact same ways as your partner. Because then you get into all kinds of a meshment and like, you know, resentment and all this stuff. Like, it's okay if your partner gets totally into Buddhism and goes to the Buddhist Sangha without you, you know, not the end of the world as long as you have these underlying core values that bind you together. A lot of listeners will take our core values exercise earlier and say, okay, great, now I just need to find a partner that has those exact same core values. And that's actually not what we're looking for. But what is important is to recognize and respect your partner's core values. So a lot of the disagreements and the surface level arguments, if you actually take the lens of someone's core values and understand what the deeper motivations are for people, these idiosyncrasies, these ID, these small things like leaving a dish in the sink or not taking the garbage out could actually be alleviated from arguments. If you understood that, well, creativity is this core value. And he's been strumming guitar working on this new lick for the last two hours. That's why the garbage didn't go out. Okay, now I understand it. I have more patience and I have more flexibility towards my partner's core values where they're rigid and vice versa. And that's such a powerful exercise for couples. And we talk about it with all of our clients. If you have a partner, understand your own and then ask what theirs are and do the exercise together and you'll understand each other in a deeper way. So you can be flexible in the moments that require flexibility and you can express, hey, this is an area that I'm rigid in because this is really a core value. This is really meaningful to me. And that's why that dish stayed in the sink and I didn't get to it versus creating the surface level arguments and disagreements that can tear us apart when we don't recognize our partner's core values. That's right. So I almost included a chapter in the book on rugged flexibility for relationships. I didn't because a lot of the tenants and relationships felt universal enough to the rest of the book, but I did create some bonus material for people that pre-order the book. And regardless if you pre-order or order it at all, I'll send that to you to put in the show notes for your listeners so y'all can just have it. I hope people read the book because I think this is a really important topic, which is just that. We got to take rugged flexibility and apply it to our relationships. The other thing that you're getting to, and I see this often with people that are chasing perfection, is that good enough over and over and over again is how you get to perfect. So expecting a partner to be perfect or have this, we look at the sunrise and we think the same thoughts and we listen to the same music. That is a very immature way to think about relationships because everybody poops. And whether they're going to poop day one or year one, eventually it's not going to be all peaches and cream. And I think people want a perfect relationship. So they switch from perfect to perfect to perfect. And the internet and online dating gives you infinite possibilities to create the false expectation that perfect is out there. When I've seen the happiest best relationships are people that are just good enough together, but after 30 years of being good enough, the end result is perfect. And I think, man, Western culture holds up perfection and it's just bullshit. Like it is a false expectation. It's chasing the energizer bunny that's always 10 yards ahead. And the worst part about it is how do you handle yourself when things aren't perfect? If you're chasing perfect, you're not prepared for it. What tells me more about how you're going to be as a partner for me romantically is what happens when things don't go our way, when we don't meet those expectations. Are you chastising the waiter? Are you screaming at the Uber driver because we're late to the airport? Are you yelling at the ticket agent because they closed the doors to the plane and we didn't get on the trip? Or are you understanding that, hey, there's a lot of things that were out of our control here. And in that imperfect moment, you can actually get closer with one another. And I think so much of the chasing perfect partner, I had a client ask, well, I have a list of questions. These are 15 questions that I need to know their answers on because if we align, then we'll most likely get married. That's a pretty high expectation, man. You do realize that the answers you had to those questions 10 years ago are different than they are now. And oftentimes we don't realize how far we've come. And we think when we look towards the future, that change really isn't going to happen. We kind of feel like we're in this, especially in adulthood, like I'm in this finalized fixed state, like I've done all this work on myself, all the self development, I've been in coaching programs. I'm pretty clear on who I am now. And then you look backwards, you're like, well, man, I've changed quite a bit, but you can't really see the forward change that's on the horizon. So you make these false equivalencies like, well, these are the answers I'm searching for. And then we do the exercises like, well, actually, no, I have evolved on about seven of these just in the last couple years after the pandemic. Well, don't you think your partner is probably going to evolve what their viewpoint is and what their answers might be through a relationship with you? Yeah, you're not marrying a person or partnering with a person in time. You're partnering with someone to be there as you walk your path, not even necessarily walk it exactly with you, but be there as you walk your path and then you're going to be there as they walk theirs. And that's a much healthier expectation.