 Ssssss... That's drunk. Here's some more proof that nearly every single thing had it's own video game at one point. This is the incredible Crash Dummies for Super Nintendo released in October 1993. And for those unfamiliar, the Crash Dummies were created as part of a public service announcement campaign in America to stress the importance of wearing your seatbelt. One of them was even voiced by Lorenzo Music, so if you ever wanted to hear what Garfield sounds like with his body flying apart as he crashes into a wall, then here you go. This game was released for NES, Master System, Game Boy, and Game Gear, while the Super Nintendo and Sega Genesis editions were developed by Grey Matter, the same folks responsible for classics like Wayne's World and James Bond Jr. Oh, that's not good. And it's also published by LJN. Oh, that's even worse. I'm just gonna be talking about the Super Nintendo game, obviously. The premise involves Dr. Zub, a Crash Dummy scientist. Wait, is there an entire race of these guys? He gets kidnapped by the evil Junk Man, and no, unfortunately, not that Junk Man. Interspersed throughout the game are these cutscenes with slapstick humor, but everything is so incredibly cheap they couldn't find room in the budget to actually animate a car crash in a game about Crash Dummies, so that's the level of quality you're looking at here. Seriously, you could have someone design a better looking game in Mario Paint. You get a health meter with three lives and no continues, to get through four levels, split up into four or five stages each with no battery save or password, and the main gimmick here, as you might expect, is that your character shows damage by losing body parts. This is a nice idea on its own, but sadly it ends up as the only real thing this game has going for it. Crash Dummies is one of those pick up and die games where stuff immediately flies at you the millisecond it comes within a fraction of appearing on the screen. You see a good example of this right here in the second stage, you're supposed to trigger this car falling, but you have to back up so far to protect from all the debris that by the time you get back, the car has respawned. If you want to get anywhere in this game, you have to slowly inch ahead and hope whatever random nonsense gets thrown at you happens to miss, because stuff is flying at you faster than you can react. There is a time limit, but the only time it really becomes a factor is for boss fights, where you've got only one minute to beat them. And I appreciate that, because it's pretty much the game saying, yeah, don't waste too much of your time, a minute will do. If that's not enough, the controls suck too, as you can see in sections like this where you're supposed to slide down here, but instead the game decides it's a great opportunity to show off its charming duck animation, where you collapse into a pile of parts. It's like whoever made this game had exactly two ideas. One, show damage by losing parts, and two, instead of the typical duck, you're just a pile of stuff. Yeah, that sounds good, and then just copy-paste the level design from Wayne's World and we're good to go. Well, that's not entirely true. The final boss fight against Junkman is pretty cool in theory. His vehicle flies apart and takes on a different, more powerful form. But one problem here is figuring out what you're supposed to jump on to create any kind of damage. The hit detection is just all over the place, and the crappy, flat-looking graphics don't help. Apparently, Junkman's weakness is his rear fender, for some reason. Dig that one frame per second animation right there. What this boss fight made me realize is that this game would have been a lot more fun playing as Junkman. I mean, for one thing, he's got a car. This is a crash-dummy's game, right? So where's the vehicles and where's the crashing? And where's Peter Pumpkinhead? What's he saying? Your ass? What, is he coming after my ass to replace his? I have to reiterate how hard this game is. Like I said earlier, you only have three lives and zero continues, so if you die three times, it's game over and start from the beginning, and you're not going to want to do that. The power-ups do not help you. One makes you too fast to control, and the other inflates you, giving you the opportunity to take damage from obstacles that you couldn't otherwise reach. The crash-target things you collect are only for points and the time limit. Instead, the best way to get extra lives is through the minigame that comes at the end of each level, which is pretty much just a lousier version of the Google Chrome game that you play when your internet goes down. How exciting. So yeah, incredible crash-dummy's for Super Nintendo and Genesis for that matter is a clearly thrown-together piece of crap that had maybe 15 minutes of thought put into it at best, maybe 20 minutes. The graphics are ugly, the music is generic, the controls are bad, the balance of speed between your movement and enemy movement is completely off, and the level design reminds me a lot of Wayne's World, which is like saying the movie you just watched reminds you of Jaws the Revenge. Sometimes with bad games like this, I like to check out speedrun.com to see if anyone's actually bothered to post a run, and lo and behold, there is actually one, a person by the name of PooTrain saw undeclared speedrunning real estate and planted their flag right in the middle of it, so hats off to PooTrain. But as for the rest of civilization, you're gonna wanna avoid this game any way you can. Alright, I wanna thank you for watching, and I hope you have a great rest of your day.