 Hi Hey, it's Bridget. Welcome to Sunday morning coffee with Bridget Woke up with a song in my head Which is a total Bridget thing. Are you ready for it? It's the theme of our podcast today. I Have listened to it a lot actually in the last couple months Baby come back pain Any kind of food would see I was wrong and I cannot live without you Okay, I wish you could see my dramatic arm effects. I'm literally sitting up in my bed It's the first thing in the morning. I have not had my coffee yet. Maybe if I did I Would sound better Maybe not Okay, so baby come back I think Think it's normal to want to be wanted To feel like you are important and special and even Someone that cannot be lived without I think it's natural to want to feel that way but the truth is that People move on and you can live without people in your life that you thought you would have forever Through heartbreaks heartaches Through death grief and loss We must navigate life and at times. I know it feels like it's Just riddled with pain the truth is We all yearn for love And we need it love and connection and the ability to share love and our truest Existence our most beautiful vulnerable essence with other people Who we can trust to hold us dear to love us in all of our states of change and growth and The fact is oh I'm so sorry beautiful that I have to say this to you, but I realize now I know Some people just can't do that There will be people around you that can't handle your change and your growth and those people will leave your life Those friends will fall away and sometimes it's more dramatic and traumatic Your marriage could end The relationship you've had can end Because you are being you and I know it will seem like you're not enough when that happens It really feels like You're being left behind To call into question why and the only thing you can point it point to directly is that you've changed You've been growing and evolving and transforming and that's beautiful And if other people need to have you be a certain way so that they can feel good about themselves They might not like that you changed But beautiful. Let me tell you this Change anyway Because the truth is if you don't You will die inside yourself a little each day Because what you want is to be loved for who you are fully As the whole beautiful essence being that you are and Changing and growth and evolution is part of our human process and if you have people around you that are not changing They don't want you to change because their needs are met by however you behave With them you meet their needs as you were and now you don't So they'll move on and they'll find someone else that will Meet them where they're at or they won't but that's on them. That's their choice Not everyone can change and grow with you, but it doesn't mean you shouldn't change or grow. That's hard. That's hard That's so hard. I feel it. I know I know it's hard And it can be Soft and gentle subtle changes over time that are happening and all of a sudden one day you realize wow Oh, I'm different. Whoa. It's a different me And you've probably noticed people treating you differently around you and if you don't like how those people are treating you it's because somehow they have benefited From you struggling From you needing them in a different way From you being an older version of yourself And that's not a dig on anybody. That's not a jab. That's not a dig That's just the way relationship is We get to know people and if we're not changing and they are we can Allow ourselves to hold space for each other To allow room to grow. That's what a good relationship is. That's what a good honest Authentic relationship is it's not a band-aid for our temporary fix for our pain Another person is not intended to be a validation of your worthiness and yet that's how everyone in some way at some level Moves into relationships or moves out of them if your partner's not giving you enough attention You go find it someplace else if you have needs that are not met you use that and justify your actions and behaviors When the truth is Right here right now you need to have the courage to be you To declare your desires your wants your dreams You get to be yourself that you get to change You get to have a voice And if your partners Or the people that love you don't understand that Then they can't love you in the next stage of your life in the next phase But that's not on you. That's on them and trust me on this. They'll leave If they need to they'll just leave your life. They'll choose to leave. They'll move on. They'll find somebody else that is Giving them whatever they need or want Or it will be just too painful for them to try to stay with you as you have become different in their eyes and They haven't changed They aren't changing. I think mostly the reflection of our evolution and our personal change when we change I think the people around us feel so bad because they're not changing or they recognize Within themselves places where they'd like their lives to be different and they're not and so it hurts them inside So so the thing is is you're not hurting someone because you grow No, that's not what happens You've hurt someone when you lie to them Or when you mislead them or when you use them To fill your own needs When you come from a selfish place like that That's when you hurt people But when you are with yourself knowing that you are evolving and growing and changing It's hard not just on you but on the people around you but but do not cater To the feelings of others Be considerate be kind be loving and change anyway You have to so when I hear the song baby come back Any kind of food would see I was wrong and I cannot live without you I don't think anyone's ever said that to me in my life Probably would never will Nope Bridget come back Yeah, no, that's not gonna happen But in a way You will question that you will ask yourself that baby come back. I was wrong to change Come back You'll find yourself in your quiet moments contemplating writing in your journal asking yourself There will be moments where you ask why is this happening? Why am I changing so much? Why is this why and The truth is Because you deserve to be happy and free free from pain free from old constructs free from the past Free from all the places in your life where you adjusted and catered to meet the needs of others without even realizing it You played a part in a role and the people that you truly love or you claim to love they deserve the authentic real version of you So if you have relationship with people and you're just faking it You're acting all happy and look I'm such a fun person. I'm so great And I just have some sad moments sometimes when really the truth is You're a mess a basket case You have so much crap that you're not dealing with and want to heal and you're just Projecting your best self into someone else so that they'll like you and give you attention and fulfill your needs Or maybe so that You'll comply so that they won't leave you and you won't be alone No, no Baby come back is your soul Telling you come back to me Baby come back. Here's your soul begging you To recognize how beautiful your change process is and not to abandon the process you're in Not to sell out for a quick fix When it's against your integrity When it's just a lie your pretend self is a fucking lie Your smile to hide the pain is a fucking lie And the places inside you where you are dying Every day it's because you are starving yourself of your truth. I know my friends God beautiful beautiful friends. I Know it's hard to hear this and on so many levels. This is so impactful, isn't it? so maybe Even though the love song baby come back has a different meaning and it's sad that's hard And it's awesome to listen to if you're sad by the way because it helps you just get it out man Just cry it out dude cry it out And we all couldn't use that you know it works for me anyway, it helps a lot But maybe the comeback is the focus and the hey baby is the universe Not playing with you or pretending with you But maybe it's recognizing the beauty of you It's when someone says baby to you or calls you baby. Hey, baby They're seeing the beautiful Incredible potential hmm, maybe Maybe And the comeback the comeback as you Coming back into your wholeness instead of Constantly adjusting yourself to play a character in everyone's life so that you can have temporary feel good moments Or you can pretend not to feel bad When the truth is you do most of the time fix yourself By healing you know this we've talked about this so many times healing is a lifestyle. It's the way you love yourself It's not a problem. It's not a hardship and the more you say oh crap. I'm not gonna deal with that That means you're just redirecting going to look for someone else to fill your void to help you feel good about yourself You deserve better than that You deserve to be with your self and Then share Yourself with others and you will continue to grow and evolve at different points in your life And that's natural, but the partner and the people that you are with in your life the family and the friends They will understand this because they will also need this too from you and if they're not growing and evolving That's a bad sign truly Let them be them And you be you you can still be in connection and communication and have friendships But they can't love you to the depth that you can love and you need to be in partnership with someone who can And the first step is for you to be that someone who can love you Be your own someone. It's the most important thing It's the most important thing Come back to yourself Be with yourself and be willing to move through all the layers of healing One at a time. They don't come at once. They're one at a time. They're carefully Constructed to not overwhelm you The overwhelming part of healing comes because you're avoiding it and You're pretending to be someone you're not and you've probably been doing that for years whether you've known it or not And it catches up to you and it can kill you Your spirit will die And your body will be raked with bullet holes and disease and You do not deserve that You do not deserve that To die for other people's needs or for what you think are your own There's so much more to us than that You are a beautiful bright soul The essence of God itself. You are pure love incarnated Come back to your home within You're never alone You are always with you Stop fighting against yourself That's the first step. Okay, baby Here's to your comeback I'm sending you so much love today with this intimate conversation here on Sunday morning coffee with Bridget It's my pleasure to be part of your journey and truly is this week. I've had some really profound I had a really profound session with someone who experienced a horrific trauma recently and I Was so in awe of her power So inspired by the fact that yeah bad bad things can happen to us and Our beautiful bright light and our gorgeous human bodies Will not just absorb it They will Over not even overcome How do I describe this? We will become More of ourselves. We will get closer to ourselves to our bodies and our essence We will be whole always Regardless of what happens to us in our lifetimes. I Know this I saw it this week First-hand I know this No matter what you are whole Be with yourself and you will find out that you literally are everything you need. Thanks for listening