 The David Feldman radio program is made possible by listeners like you. You sad pathetic humps Frank Frank I work with him though. He was a he was a we're on the air. It was a nice guy Frank Conif is here and Kristen buckles. Hello, Kristen. Hello. Thanks for coming back anytime Frank Conif you know him from insight Serious XM insight. Yes with John Fugelsang. Yes, we just had a very successful episode with John Fugelsang talking religion Yeah, if you should catch it just go to David Feldman show calm because did John come down and you came down and educated me on What what I need to know about God and religion and Kristen Do you know Frank Conif? We've just met today. We just met we have cats. He both have cats So we've already bonded in a big way. Yes. She has three cats. So that makes her that gives her star status to me I made it. Yeah, that's our Very interest. I'm tempted to get a cat. You should I want to live with a murderer Cats are serious. Those are yeah, right? You should get a cat. I have mice. Oh, you'd be a great cat guy Outdoor cats are killers, right? They go out and kill birds. I've never had that experience I know people who've had cats who live in the country and the cats kill birds and the common thing that I guess they always do is They bring them back to the house and like kind of present them to them. Yeah. Yeah, my my cats kill water bugs And yeah, and then they have if you go to Michaels You can get these little pom poms with sparkly things on them for two dollars and my cats worship these things Now are you making the cats work for their food? That's an theory We had what we did a show if you go to my website or your cat show that you've gotten trouble for Well, that's it. Tell them what happened Well, I think you did it. You did an entire show on cats right after the election. I thought we were doing a bit. Oh I'm too tired for okay. No. Yeah, we did an entire show about cats Yeah, the woman I interviewed says that you need to make the cats work for their food That you just don't like you would not put I've never heard of that Yeah, you you don't put a bowl of mice in front of a cat the cat is a hunter So you should take the food heard similar things to that but it's too late Way too late. My favorite Barney story Is you were a learning like one of my cats you were this is just you were lying in bed and Barney walked up to you and just Scratched you and you went fuck you Barney That's happened a few times. He just walks up to you. He's in a bad mood If my if my foot is hanging over the side of the bed or my hand is hanging over the side of the wall I'm sleeping. He'll jump up and bite it He can't play nice in other words. He's trying to it's he thinks it's playing But it hurts when he plays he really likes you right whereas my other cat Millie Can like kind of grab at you and it doesn't hurt But if you pick her up she will scratch the shit out of you. She will fucking kill you Every time I have to take her to the vet. It's one time. I Had to hire someone to help me get stop. No, I did help me get her into the cat carrier and another time A friend of mine who I think you know Rachel Riscond in LA She she's a she works at it with animals. She came over and helped me get that good My sister has the same story my sister rescued to black kittens They were just covered in parasites and dying and they were as big as her fist And she had an eyedropper and she gave them milk and she nursed them back to life Literally saved their lives and they hide in the basement. They're feral and they there's nothing you can do Yeah, well Millie was was was a rescue from she was found under a car, you know, so she So she has those issues even though she's very Domesticated now and she knows how to chill out and she she likes it when I pet her but under pre pre-agreed to conditions You know But so she's totally the but she she has like quirks and do not pick her up She will not let you she will never let me pick her up. Will she sleep with you? She sleeps on my bed Yeah, she both Barney and Millie sleep on my bed when I'm sleeping and do they purr sometimes? Yeah And and what are the names of your cats Wally Mack and Violet Nice Wally Mack and Violet. Mm-hmm. How old are they? Wally's for I rescued him from the ASPCA. Was that his name? Yes I thought I just feel like it's kind of messed up to change their names. Yeah, it confuses them, right? And I like thought about it But then I kept his name and then Mack and Violet are both bodega kitties. What does that mean? There was a bodega down the street. I when I my boyfriend I lived in Crown Heights, and he They had a they had a cat there that just sort of kept getting pregnant and Eventually we we got two kittens from her litters So they're both bodega cats and they are fat and happy and having a mother who's a whore How's that affected them? Yeah? Well, this is actually kind of messed up A lot of female cats they're they're shamed from Exhibiting their sexuality So she was this is like a very modern Yeah, yeah, well we have come around and visit or is it just I don't care less I mean, I don't live there. We don't live in that neighborhood anymore. I don't know what happened. Do you think of that whore? Mother saw your cats. She would recognize them. No, she's that messed up. Yes She was pregnant two times before she was a year old How awful is that I know I know Barney's mother Although I haven't you've been spoken in a while. Yeah, I haven't spoken in a while But Teresa Strasser who's some people listening the show might know is a good friend of mine She was from she was Finster her cats Offspring Marty Ingalls is yes, it's Finster Dickens. He's Finster. There's John Astin Yes so So, yeah, so I I did know who her But what's the mother of a cat? Recognize its child. I Don't think if it hadn't seen it in a long time I don't think it would it's just like a human wouldn't know their child if it was taken away from them. That's true They were yeah, do you love your cats? I love my cats. They're crazy. They're so funny They're all cats But you'd be crazy too. Yeah, if you were born to hunt and kill And you were trapped and yeah, that's why they're they're they act really crazy That's I think that's I think the craziness of cats is is a big part of their appeal, you know They're so funny. They're funny and they they don't They're and I love dogs, but they're you know dogs are suck ups, you know they they they just desperately want approval from humans and Cats are their attitude is is fuck you, you know, where's my food? Clean up my shit Do your job? You're here to serve me and And I don't want to hear any anything about it. And what does it say about use guys? that you would be so Passive and you would do that because they're cats and we love cats. They're so funny. Yeah I have Wally will come every single morning He comes and I don't feed them in the morning So I feed them at night and he'll he will come and he'll just stand on you Until you sort of get up and then pet him and then he runs away And he'll do this repeatedly for like an hour and a half And it's like he's not interested and you're really touching him. He just wants you to acknowledge that he's there my friend Has a brother who has a cat named nugget Nugget and nugget Will sit on the toilet. Mm-hmm and go yeah Yeah, I hear I hear you can train them to do that. Yeah, it's the fuck Let me see if I have a video of it. It's the funniest. Are you picking up the phone to show me something? You know what it is? The look on nuggets face she videotape nugget going uh-huh and He had this look on his face and you can hear the sounds going into the turlet and The look on his face is Some privacy, please Are you sick? Yeah, is this some some kind of fetish here and It's one of the most amazing things I've ever seen I would have a cat if I could My brother-in-law tried to train one of the cats to use the turlet and apparently what you do is you You take the the box And you put it next to the turlet Mm-hmm, and each day you raise the box until it's at the same height as the turlet Mm-hmm, and then the cat is supposed to say oh instead of sand. I should put this in water and The stupidity of the cat is that they Because cats are stupid Nugget uses the turlet. Mm-hmm, but then but he says toilet though, so he's ahead of you Then nugget will take his paws and Mime covering the water with dirt they do this thing where they try to bear now They my cats do a thing where they for some reason they'll scratch the wall next to the To the kitty litter box. I don't know why see my cats scratch around their food dishes. Yeah, they're done eating Do they go have do they have panic attacks when you're changing the box? No, that's the OCD if I love watching when well for one thing. I you know I use the scoopable cat litter, so I'm always just you just scoop the Yeah stuff out of it and then put new kitty litter and you're never really changing the box and I had found that When I use the scoopable Kitty litter that my you don't have cats, so I'm wondering why you use scoopable kitty Well when I did have cats Well, you we had scoopable kitty litter, but our Pasta dishes tasted like cat shit and then they never on the box and never said do not use of the scoop For for training spaghetti. Yeah. Yeah, I was the most laborious setup I'm winded Boy The the first joke I wrote for stand-up was in 1982 and it said I it it I said I've invented a a wash and dry. Do you know what a wash and dry is a wash and dry wash and right? She's young remember wash and dry No, those are those little packets that had You know a wet nap inside okay wet naps. Yeah, I've heard of those. Okay. That's I have wet naps every afternoon I Mr. Pelton you want to wake up? Okay, it's okay. There's some tapioca pudding downstairs And there's in the game room Don't be ashamed just Anyway, the first joke I wrote was That's a wash and dry For cats were too busy to clean themselves and you open it up and inside is a pre moistened paw Okay, I was very proud of myself because I Remember saying to my friends this joke is gonna work because it's got the word paw in it and piece it This is 1982 and moistened Mm-hmm is a funny sounding it is a funny sounding pre moistened paw I'm not a funny person That's pure bullshit I remember when I first was in we're when I we were working on that show and I'm looking in the I'm looking in the dock and you can like watch people right and you and David Taylor were on a team in Another room writing and I remember just thing they're reading as you and you I could see like which jokes writing and thinking oh my god That I don't know how his brain works that fast But you're a funny person. Oh because of Google Doc. Yeah You can never use Google Doc It's fascinating because you can be all over the world working with somebody. Yeah and see things being typed And if you're an asshole, you can see if you know that somebody's reading your stuff You can type things you can type things little messages and yes, and most of I've noticed that there's a project I'm working on now But everything I write Involves jerking off This is like everything and then he jerks off and then he touches his penis and then he jerks off And this is stuff you write alone, right? Yes. Well Hey, what Feldman does is a lot and Christian buckles is very funny Thank you. You are and Frank Conniff has a new book out. Yes about it's mystery science theater Well, it's called 25 mystery science theater films that changed my life in no way whatsoever and I use it each chapter is about a different film that we Did on the show, but I kind of use the films as kind of a jumping-off point for a kind of stream of consciousness It's kind of like I'm riffing the way we did when we when we look at the movies I'm just letting my mind go wherever it goes. How many movies can you see in one day? I'm not a person that these days that I mean I could see You know, I could see If I wanted to I could watch movies all night at home But I usually don't I at most if I'm home at night. I'll watch one movie, you know And then when I'm done watching a movie. I'm usually like, well, no I want to read or write or waste time on the internet, you know So I'm not a guy who to these days at least in my life to does like marathon movie watching, you know Last time you were on the show Frank We had a heated argument. Uh-huh people loved it. They did. Okay, so I'm trying to figure out how I can get into a fight with you I am hard. I'm looking I'm looking I'm looking For a fight with you. Just okay, so I'm ready Let me ask you about fighting Kristen fighting. Yes, okay. I Got into a shoving match on Monday a shoving match. Yeah a little wrestling with somebody That's great. And then it was affectionate. It was affectionate It was with someone a good it was with a relative cheat no It was it was an interesting situation because There were implicit ground rules That we knew that there was not gonna be a punch thrown it was just like we're angry at each other and this was somebody who was younger than I was and Is is a cousin of a cousin and we kind of wrestled and it was part funny, but part anger and It took me three days for my body to recover Uh-huh and as a man Mm-hmm afterwards. I thought I'm being serious. So that was like that was you know, it likes a hint of animal aggression male-on-male fisting and That that night I went to a club You went to a club a dance club. What are you doing at a dance club? I'm kidding a comedy club and Just separate separate from what I had experienced This guy who's about my age told me about a customer from Britain Who ran out on a $100 bill and the two of them Got into a fight. They were like this was serious You know, my my thing was a wrestling match with the the cousin of a cousin and it was half joking half angry But it felt like a fight But he really got into it with this guy and he said to me afterwards. He said he said the guy had his Nougle knuckle of his index finger grinding into right below his eye. He was about to lose his eye He had his foot on the guy's neck and it was like the standoff of you know I was a Cirque de Soleil And he said Separate to what I had experienced and you know what it felt great. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I almost lost my eye I almost could have killed this guy We both agreed to just let go of one other hug and kiss And he ran off, you know, I I had to eat the $100. He said but it was worth it He said it felt so good Yeah, be in a fight. I don't get that That's how I feel when I shove somebody on in the subway and the a-train hits them Hopefully, yes No, I'm when you know when you're when you're coming off the train There's people coming on the train and there's these people that will just go on like do you not hear the like Announcement that happens 18 times when you're on the subway to let people off before you go on that bugs me when people I have zero problems shoving a shit out of somebody and does that feel good? Oh feels great. Why does it feel good? I don't know. It just it's like like for for like one moment I because you there's no like telling you there's no like stopping them. Excuse me, sir I'm not sure if you're aware of the policy here that you know, we're allowed off first and then you can go on Because these people they don't care They just want the seat they see the seat as it's pulling up and they they have their eye on the prize And they just shoved through people right and it makes me mad, right? So it feels good to shove. I'm a pacifist Not anymore not anymore. You fought have you ever gotten into a fight? Not since I was a kid. I used to fight with my brother All that's which is a safe way to fight a physical fights. I never when I was when I was younger I did not I don't know if I'd call them fights. It was more me getting beat up by people Which happened to me growing up in New York Getting beaten up by bullies and stuff so That would be the last in my adult life that I can remember I don't think I've gotten into a physical fight with anybody and what about an argument Oh, I got I've get into argument sure and does that feel good? I've argued with strangers on the street in New York and Shove shoving incidents is kind of where they bump into you and you're like you watch watch where the fuck you're going, man You know, and then you yell at each other for a few minutes Though I I guess those things could escalate into physical fights, but they haven't in my case I think I knew I run like hell. Well, New York City You're quite quick one of the things I discovered Having lived in New York City for six years and then moving to San Francisco Was in New York City, you can bump into somebody give them the finger tell them to go half themselves And continue about your day and then continue and they go have a nice day In San Francisco, you give somebody the finger They're ready to kill you. I've gotten into really vicious in San Francisco. I've gotten into some vicious arguments over aesthetics But it does so you and I were Arguing about something. Yeah, I don't even remember. I don't remember what I do remember it cleared my head And it's a bit of a narcotic right arguing Yeah, it's it it is. I mean I think if you Are very Committed to your side. It's and believe in it strongly It's it's fun. I on the John Fuglsang show, which I'm on every day on series XM. I've Being the big Hillary supporter that I was from the beginning of the campaign I I would Get into a lot of arguments and I would kind of start them because I would hear people say, you know Well, Hillary is you know, one of her problems is she's so unpopular and then I would jump in and say no That's actually not true. She's actually so I would kind of jump in with these things that that that I believe were true from what I had read and And I you know what? It's really fun to I like arguing when when you're kind of going against conventional wisdom Like there's something very satisfying about that when people are Are saying something and they're mainly saying it because it's what's everybody's saying and then you come in and you have an alternate point of I kind of enjoy that. Yeah, you have a virtue of an argument when done, right? Is it can reveal some truth? Most people think any Conversation about what's going on in the world has to be an argument that you cannot just exchange ideas That that is what I've observed If somebody comes to my house for dinner After they wake up and say what happened to me I said please don't press no I like to know What's going on in the world and you tell me what's going on and I'll tell you what's going on. I can't have friends who just automatically Argue they just they think you bring up Anything anything they feel the the only way to arrive at what the truth is is if the two of us argue, right? However, and I don't see anything good to that. However With the Russian hacking Mm-hmm. I do Feel like I want to ask you some questions about it And I do and I think it's going to turn into an argument. Mm-hmm. Okay We'll see we'll look at the Russian transcripts later because they're listening in on this by the way I had a funny idea I pitched to a friend of mine writes for a show where the host says, you know enough with the Russian hacking and we just it's it's not and then The rest of the show is done in Russian and he doesn't realize he's just reading. Has anybody done that yet? No, not yet. So the idea would be that the teleprompter Right been hacked. Yeah by the Russians and no one know that everyone just goes on about like the house is such a moron He just reads what's on the teleprompter. He's just reading Russian as if it's no big deal as far as TV shows goes the much bigger problem is a lot of them are hacked by Lorne Michael The bigger culprit. Yes our bill, let's focus on the real enemies. So the right because I I'm overwhelmed by what's going on and you do a daily talk show on Sirius X Uh-huh. So you are up to date on everything that's going. I am very I'm very immersed in the world of scanning websites for Yes, you're right Okay, they have said this is an act of war Who said that? I Think Facebook. I Think that it wasn't Obama, but somebody high up in the Obama administration said the Russians are hacking our democracy Well, I let me just say I really hope it's not an act of war. I really don't want to go to war over this so I Want to understand this Explain some things to me. Mr. Mr. Conner. Okay. Have we done any recounts in Pennsylvania, Wisconsin or in? Michigan my knowledge is that those recounts are over with now, or they either didn't happen or there was one I Didn't follow it that close with Wisconsin. They I think they finished the one in Wisconsin. They found out nothing changed, right? No, no, so are you talking about Russian hacking into our voting? Just just let me ask you a lot of questions to prove that you did in fact Murder that child What's up? I'm gonna trap him into this. Okay We don't we never really found out if they hacked into the voting, right? I don't think that ever became a major issue But if the president the United States and The CIA and the FBI are all on the same page that the Russians Have they hacked or they hacked the DNC is what they're on the same page about right, but nobody's Suggesting that perhaps we want to look at the votes, right? That's not a No, that's not at the top of the The list of this is as bad as they say it is I think That they would want to look at some of these well, I don't know because I think it's probably a different I think it's two different things from hacking going into the DNC's emails figuring out a way to hack into them and then releasing them to the public is a separate thing from However, you I don't even know how you would hack the vote go into the voting machines and change the The outcome or whatever. I don't think there's any evidence that that's happening that that happened But there is evidence Very strong evidence that they they hacked into the DNC. Okay now as a Hillary defender. Yes Has this been brought up? I'm kind of curious. What what I haven't told you what this is yet We'll say say what this is. Okay. This is this is an answer that hopefully will make me look good. Okay Bernie Sanders said in the debate enough with the email. Yes enough with the emails and they wouldn't let go of it They wouldn't let go the Republicans would not let go of Hillary Using a private server right that Republicans or the mainstream media or many on the left as well, right? This hacking scandal Does this? Give credibility to the Republicans who complained about her using a private server in other words. Let me just finish The Russians were able to hack into the Democratic National Committee's server uh-huh and Find out embarrassing things and give them to WikiLeaks, right? Doesn't that suggest that the Republicans were right? That Hillary should not have had a private server over at state Don't say Republicans because it's it's Republicans and the New York Times and the mainstream media It's not just a Republic her emails is not just if something Republicans brought up. It's something everybody jumped on Okay, so if the Russians were able to get into the DNC server Wouldn't the Secretary of State Be obligated to use a private sir The State Department server and not a private server to make sure that classified top secret emails were not hacked by The Russians so does doesn't this scandal? Kind of make Trump and and Chafetz and these people look somewhat right for questioning her use of a private No, okay Has that been discussed at all? Is it I don't know if if if people I was hoping maybe now that the election happened that Hillary's private email server would be something that the people who talked about it Incessantly during the election would be embarrassed about by now, but you now you've brought you're still want to bring it up So so people still want to talk about it I I think there's nothing in our In our democracy or in the coverage of the election that is is more indicative of how Awful everything is in terms of our media in terms of our coverage of the election in terms of the election itself The fact that people even gave a shit about Hillary's private email server the network news did more stories The nightly network news did more stories about Hillary's emails than any other story in the election combined So I think I think that's a fact. Yes, so I think that If people aren't embarrassed by the fact that the emails got so much Coverage they they should be I think it's gonna be a historical thing that people are gonna look back if On the wreckage of this country and look back at the coverage of this election and look back at how much the media made of these emails It's just it's it's it's a scandal on a major scale. I explain to me What the Republicans were complaining about with the I can't I don't know what the fuck they were complaining about Why why are you still talking about her emails? Who gives a shit because it's the most it means nothing but but if Then is the Russian hacking of our democracy as as the Democrats are Well, they're complaining about it's not the Russians hacking of our democracy. It's the Russians hacking of the DNC, right? and It's a is it a big story. I know it's it's yeah They're they're high the fact that that a foreign power tried to Help Donald Trump get elected president Especially considering the fact that he's he's So friendly to Putin and he's his secretaries of state is is like a friend of Putin's I think that does make billers and yeah, it makes it makes it a big story Absolutely Rex Spillerson because he's a head of Exxon. Yeah, Tillerson, but I call them Rex Spillerson Thank you patronizing me, excuse me but going back and then I'll move on uh-huh if We're upset that the Russians hack the DNC cyber war is the new frontier. This is where we're gonna be fighting our battles Right, it's probably a good thing that he'll reuse the private server You may be right then maybe she had better protections for it then Because government service have been hacked as well. That's the thing that's happened So in other words whether she's the private server government government server who gives a shit That's my that's what I would say about that. I think he said who gives a shit snail mail What's the last time you wrote a letter Kristen buckles wrote a letter wrote a letter. Oh gosh. Mmm Maybe like last year sometime. It's amazing. Isn't it? Yeah if it's a given that Yahoo, like we just learned that anybody who has an account with yahoo is obsolete All your passwords have been revealed Yeah, and you know, it's really embarrassing in those Things to reveal this that they they had accounts with yahoo Yeah, that's that's the reveal but then again now Verizon Is trying to buy yahoo. Let's say they want to buy yahoo for I don't know what the numbers But let's say they want to buy yahoo for what is yahoo worth $2. Let's say five billion dollars What's the stop Verizon from saying? Let's hack yahoo and Barrest them and lower the purchase price. That's that's a pull that seems like a clever plot That's why I'm using snail mail Mm-hmm now on I just write all jeep. Yeah, I mean not none of this go ahead I think that it's I think the funding or part of any of this is that anyone thinks that any amount of privacy isn't actually a thing anymore Yeah, that's true. I just don't I even like when people are like, oh like should I write down my social security number? It's like if you think that there's a person on this planet They can't figure out what your social security number is with a few Google searches and a buddy who knows how to like, you know Work with computers. You're nuts. Mm-hmm. I really I really firmly believe that I think any I think that everyone's watching everything We do and just kind of like, okay one out of 25 Americans are victims of revenge porn Which is for bodies for people who know revenge porn. It's when people film pornography of me As retaliation for whatever it is they're mad about One out of 25 Americans say they've been victimized by revenge and the rest are okay with it Wow, have you allowed anybody to take pictures of you? No Have you allowed anybody to take pictures of you? Um, I never have they're welcome to know what is offered to If someone wants to give me ten bucks for dick pics. I hey we let's talk about it Alex Have you ever he's available? Have you ever posed or as a woman ever posed for you and take really? Rational thing, huh? In female in your garments. Wow Alan and You still have them but they're around trust it but they're on your phone, right? They're a lead of them This generation Well, I came from you know, we came from the print porn generation So the first time I actually had a woman I was looking for the staple I can only come When I'm with a woman But first I let's start again. I can't come Let me start again. I can't come unless I first put a staple gun into a woman's navel My favorite part about Feldman is watching how much he enjoys his own jokes. Yes All right Trump Tower Built by illegal I'm selling my apartment there Really built by illegal Polish people. Did you know that I did know that? Yes, but But they were attacking the Polish joke there somewhere, which I didn't get to I was trying There were Polish workers Undocumented who built Trump Tower right with The Gambino family helped mr. Trump sure right he's mobbed up nobody there's no Doubt about that. It's been written about them them the mainstream media doesn't give a shit Right, one of the many egregious things about Donald Trump that that the people the powers that be Don't care right if it weren't for AIDS Roy Cohn would be our attorney general right now Maybe yeah, I mean people forget Roy Cohn was Was was a Donald Trump's mentor? Yeah He he in a Trump Tower he built a closet for him And and Roy Cohn was the Lawyer to the mob to the mob and Joe McCarthy's Legislative assistant. Yes. Can you build a good movie about him with James Woods? Have you seen that movie citizen con it was yeah, Nicholas von Hoffman's book very very good number Nicholas von Hoffman Yes, sure sure So can you build a casino in Atlantic City without being mobbed up you build a New York City with being without being mobbed I doubt it the construction industry and I'm going with a cliche here is Traditionally, it's very mobbed up people actually Get into the jukebox business to get less mobbed up Yeah Trump Tower was built with Cement not steel. Did you know that I? Probably knew that but I I those kind of facts don't really so there's no steel in Trump Tower There's some stealing but no stealing right now. Let me wait for the audience to stop laughing Let's pause for a minute. All right guys. It wasn't that funny. I need a big laugh on that one Alex you sweeten it was okay so They the in order to you can save a lot of money with the cement But in order for this cement to work properly You have to be mobbed up because the the cement is gonna Harden before you get it into the ground. So just like Trump hardens whenever his daughter is around All that was good and it rhymed All right, so let so Trump Tower could not have been built without The mafia right when he's mobbed up and it was originally not burgged off Goodman Well, what was this store that I don't you know what I have never been in Trump Tower and I'm My impression of it is that you go in and it's like a mall, right? There's stores and stuff and yeah But it was originally a famous department store that had some Fantastic art deco Work that he promised that he was gonna donate to the right in the Metropolitan Museum of Art And what happened to it he destroyed it Here's some of the lies that he has said that he has promised. This is from The fix This is from the Washington Post He has promised a press conference to discuss His finance there will be Little or no press conferences during the Trump administration Well, he promised one December 15th to talk about how he was never do a press conference And I'm not making that up. He may never do one and he'll just and and people will write Things about it But what he'll do is he'll just tweet things and then the press treats his tweets as big news and he can Distract people from whatever he wants right Kellyanne Conway said he's gonna have a press conference soon He's just got action-packed days filled with meetings. What what what what what meet what meetings? To meet with Kanye. Oh my god Kanye met with yeah Trump just for that. I'm not gonna listen to his music The only difference between Kanye and everybody else who went through Trump Tower this week at least Kanye knows He needs a team of psychiatrists at least that's the what he's aware. He's aware. Yeah. I I don't I Sincerely and I'm not trying to be an idiot here, but I sincerely don't know what's going on With like what is he doing? Kanye? No Trump. What is he doing? Like what are these? He hasn't been to any security briefings. Like what is he doing? He's yeah, he's just does anyone know nobody will know, you know, he's He's not gonna have Press people following him around so who knows Nixon didn't do intelligence briefings Well, well and yet his foreign policy turned out so great Yeah Kanye do you listen to Kanye I Love Kanye's music and ever since I saw that the other day I stopped listening to it You do love Kanye's music. He there's no arguing that he's a genius. I really do He's he's extremely talented in what ways is it is it the lyrics or just the sound both? He's he's very smart. He's visually he's smart. He's smart with his lyrics his beats everything. He's amazing I really I really believe that I also believe he's a crazy person. I was talking before We started the show about how much I love Laura Nero. He sampled He did a Laura Nero sample in one of his songs, so I'll give him I give him that Is it disgraceful that he said that he didn't vote but if he did he would have voted for Trump Of course, it's disgraceful, but I mean I feel okay, so I have never and especially the part about not voting Yeah, because I even people who voted for Trump I Respect more than people who didn't vote at all if you voted for Trump like I completely I think you're nuts I completely disagree with you, but you participated in our democracy You had an opinion and you went to the polls and you and you tried to do something about What you your point of view, but if you didn't vote at all, then you know, that's just the worst What does Kanye represent in his music? What does he speak about? What's the message? Um, I Wish I had something intelligent to say about that. I mean, I actually this is my show so you don't have to worry about Oh, great. Cool. Um, I mean he talks about he talks a lot about his life and his earlier albums He talks about his upbringing and it was a privileged upbringing wasn't it? No, I don't think so. No I don't know. I really you know, I honestly I Honestly don't know anything about his music and but I believe you when you say it's great I'm I'm just not yeah, I I have little knowledge It is of of that form of music. I in the last few months I My first hip-hop guy that I love happened, which is Kendrick Lamar and I'm like those people who just it's kind of actually Kind of lame. I'm one of those white guys who just jumped on the Kendrick Lamar bandwagon I but the movie not the movie the album The butterfly what was it to to pip a butterfly with it. Yeah, I know you're talking about brilliant album Obama quotes it. Huh Obama quote. Yeah, and also it's I think the reason why someone like me who and it's actually made me more curious about hip-hop and because I I'm sure there's a lot of brilliant stuff That I'm not aware of but the thing about Kendrick's album is that It's it's hip-hop, but it's if you like any other kind of music that's R&B based You're gonna love the album because it says it's it's melodic. It's harmonic. So like a jazz guy like myself It's it's so musically rich that someone like me is just gonna be blown away by it's really amazing Have you listened to Frank Ocean? No, I haven't I'm gonna I am now the game. Yeah, I don't I don't know I think Frank Ocean is gay, right? I honestly don't know We have that confirmed The confirmation yes, but yeah, I think that a lot of Kanye's music is like social commentary I mean did you I mean, I'm not sure that you they the video music awards They it was like a big thing that they they gave him five minutes of airtime on the awards show That was like on suit unlike Supervisor scripted But like okay Kanye you get five minutes to go up there and we're not gonna we're not gonna look at anything that you want to say And it was like this big deal that he like went out there and he sort of he kind He nodded to the fact that his life is like sort of this artistic experiment That he he isn't you know everything that he does in his day-to-day life is not necessarily who he is It's it's the fact that like the Americans and his fans and these people truly believe kind of the insane Bullshit that he puts out there and it's his commentary to be like, you know, you bought this And so it was kind of like he took the veil off for a minute and was like I'm not this insane person that you think I am but you believed it Right and it was so I find he so I think that he is pretty interesting and his like his wife and everybody that he surrounds himself By are these they're like their Artistic experiments and commentaries on our social structure and climate today. I think they're very interesting And don't forget. He's this is the same guy who said George W. Bush does not like black people at that Katrina benefit. Yeah. Yeah So but the whole Trump thing though, I just can't enough voting I can't I just can't get on board with any of that I think that even if that was even if what he's saying if like him showing Showing his face with Donald Trump and having a psychotic break and cancelling his tour and all that was just for show And if it was just something that he was doing to sort of be like see I got ya That's almost where it's like you draw the line Where you draw the line in sense of you you were making such a statement even if it's a show That that's not something you can justify and in my opinion. Yeah, just seems like an unnecessary distraction there's some there's someone right and they were so scared right now What but the distraction is not Kanye's fault. It's the fault of Those who are distracted by it though because the day he He met with Trump was the same day that the atrocities were happening in Aleppo And the main story in a lot of news outlets was that Kanye met with Trump And that's not Kanye's fault that that was the main story. That's probably what he wanted But it's the fault of the media that they Make they are the ones that make that more important than the other thing. Did you see? Washington posters recently they interviewed Denzel on the red carpet. Oh, no, I didn't see. Oh, man. It's so good They basically interview Denzel Washington in there and they're saying and he's basically talking to this reporter and saying You have a responsibility. He said he said if you're not reading the news You're not informed if you're reading the news. You're misinformed. I don't know what his direct quote was But he said you he said the media outlets in these days don't care about the truth anymore They just want to be first. Mm-hmm. They want to say it first They want to get the ratings and he said and he like looks this girl in the eye and he's just like you have Responsibility a moral responsibility to tell the truth and he's like most these people only care about bullshit, right? Yeah, and it was such like and it was so nice to sort of hear him Call out like even the Washington Post who's generally I would say a pretty reliable resource For him to sit there and be like you all should be ashamed of yourselves. Yeah It's very true. Yeah, I thought it was interesting. I love him even more now, and I'm already have you seen fences yet I have a little Christmas. I am going to yeah me too. I've seen the The previous for it. It looks really great. Yeah So there was a big meeting at Trump Tower this past week All the techies came fuck them Tim Cook The guy from Uber Travis Bickle Travis Kalamak. I have a joke about him, but it's it arrived in approximately three minutes Cheryl Sandberg Jeff Bezos from Amazon Elon Musk, they all sat down And I'm not making this up. This is a true story while this was going on. I didn't know about it I was at the Apple store at Grand Central Station I Have a two-year-old I'm at a power book. That's not working properly. I've had to take it back eight times Jesus, they've stripped it twice and it's still not fun dollars in it And Finally the general manager of the Apple store Grand Central Station is talking to me And we're going eyeball to eyeball and he's telling me my computer is fine and I kept saying You are normalizing a lousy computer You now have this is the eighth time I brought this computer back You've stripped it twice you've refurbished it twice It really is time. I have Apple care. It's time for a new computer Your only solution now is to tell me that the computer is fine even though All I'm getting are beach balls. You are normalizing. This is the new thing, sir to normalize Crap to tell me to get used to crap. I come home that night I read the Tim Cook the CEO of Apple right while I was using the word Normalizing he was normalizing Donald just how disgraceful is it that Tim Cook? Met with Donald Trump. It's well, it's it's it's awful But don't forget we buy Apple products and they're built by by slave labor in China. So So we're all guilty. So while I'm at the genius bar And I talked to my shrink and my loved ones have had this behavior when I go there They only let me go to the mediocrity really. Oh, that's a bummer. I Can't help myself It's just not and I really wanted to go back that day and just say okay This is now gonna be the ninth time. I've got to take this computer in I sure hope and you just refuse to Clear your porn history That's just something that's just not an option for you that'll make Unclog it up and Plus you accept that jizz on the keyboards like hurts the machine, right? Did they explain that to you? So I go in there that day, you know, okay, I'm not gonna be a jerk I'm just gonna say I'm sorry. This is you know, I know this is the ninth time I've been here this Year, could you please fix my computer? I can't do that So I'm sitting there at the genius bar and as I'm talking to the geniuses. I'm pointing out So and there are two women in earshot Who are waiting very young and attractive, you know Don't Tell me I'm wrong. I pay my taxes. I don't have billions of dollars that haven't been repatriated yet and The genius goes what are you talking about and I say you call yourself a genius and you don't know that Apple doesn't pay taxes to America overseas and they're registered in Ireland and that the city of Cupertino is going bankrupt The school system in Cupertino where you are headquartered is going I was at Starbucks at that more moment ordering a Cupertino And he goes, what are you talking about? I said you call yourself a genius You don't even know that Apple is registered in Reno So it doesn't pay California State taxes. I look over these two beautiful women are waiting for their genius and They just think I'm a jerk And I turn to one of the beautiful women. I go, did you know that Apple doesn't pay taxes Ignores me. I turn to the left. Do you know that they had to put safety nets at Foxconn because the women building your iPhone were jumping to their death and The woman was polite enough to say no, I didn't know that Butch could she have said I do know though that you own Apple products You went out and bought them and now you want it fixed and And you knew all that about their tax situation and yet you supported them So get out of the store you cranky old man and get that jizz off your I Tried to keep my mouth shut and get my computer fixed. How angry should I be? I don't know my Mac Air with that. I bought in within the last year I have to restart it about twice a day to get the internet out to work restart it twice a day Yeah, oh my god. Mm-hmm. Is that well? Well, that's so that's even worse than that's awful. Yeah See I I do strongly think that there is some some sort of conspiracy with iPhones that once there's an updated iPhone out there your phone if it's not the newest version Just kind of starts to glitch and not work properly And then eventually you've just like you you've had it because you're worse You're used to your phone working seamlessly So you go out and you buy the seven because Because now the six can't doesn't have enough physical room or can't it doesn't integrate with the new operating system And if you don't have a new operating system Then it doesn't then your apps that you normally use don't work and the seven from what I've heard You can't plug your headphones into it because they want you to buy there. They want you to buy the new wireless Well, I have coined a term. It's called planned acquiescence Okay, now this is gonna catch on and I'm gonna get a residual every time somebody says planned acquiescence That when we were growing up was planned obsolescence Okay, they would make phones and then every year they come up with a new phone and it would be better So you wanted it right now they've pretty much Moore's law They can't keep improving. So the thing just stops working. Yeah, because really I mean I have I don't know What my iPhone is like a four or five or something and I just have no need for anything better than it I'm not like, you know, I I go I get text messages. I make phone calls. I go on the internet like that's it I don't even so what they do. Yeah, but they what they do is they say we know that Frank Conniff Just wants to use his computer for downloading porn, right and Simplest thing in the world writing fan fiction for For my favorite porn. Yeah, I was Getting the top it does It's some of the best fan fiction I've ever read but But we can't make any money off you so what we're gonna do is we're gonna just make it impossible for you to download This thing that you bought right is no longer gonna work Well, I and you're gonna acquiesce. I just I this past year I bought a new iPad mini which is my favorite Apple device And it's where I do most of my writing because I I write. Oh, you know I write a lot on the subway and out in the world. I get a lot done that way and I had to buy it because my pages which is my word processing They kept insisting for me to get new software To upgrade But I couldn't upgrade because my old iPad wouldn't let me upgrade so in order to get the better The the up where for upgrade for my software, which I didn't really need But I hated those messages that came up every time I went on. Yeah, you know, they won't stop Yeah, so so I ended up getting a new iPad which I'm quite happy with but they really just forced me into it It wasn't something I really needed But it's planned acquiescence. They wear you down that either you yes So I want to talk about Tim Cook and identity politics before we wrap it up that Tim Tim Cook As we know is a homosexual Yes, that's right. The CEO of Apple reading about that. Yeah, I didn't know that you didn't know that no, okay I'm I'm gonna Ask you a question about identity politics It's safe to assume that if you're gay at Apple You're okay. Mm-hmm, right. I don't know. I don't I don't work there I don't know if if Donald Trump had run a campaign that demonized homosexuals the way George W. Bush did in 2004. Well, you know what first of all He appointed he picked Mike Pence as his vice presidential candidate So that's that puts him at the top of the list of demonizing homosexuals He picked the most anti-gay bigot in the country as his running mate Which is something by the way was not talked about in the vice presidential debate, but the the anti The homophobia and anti-gay agenda of the Trump administration is a very strong very real thing It's well, he believes that homosexuality can be cured right Pence. Yes, he does he believes in That in gay conversion therapy in other words if you go to see Hamilton, you will be converted into being gay Do you think but but but Trump did not run an anti-gay campaign he did he picked Mike Pence But I'm talking about this it's all about cosmetics Yeah, he put cosmetics on his face because he's secretly gay. Oh, he ran an anti-Arab anti-Mexican anti-women But it was anti everything not powerful white men basically, right? But do you think Tim Cook would have shown up had Trump been it, you know running a camp? I don't think My guess is is Tim Cook. Maybe he's a Democrat or any voted for Hillary Cheryl Schaemberg who was also there from Facebook I'm sure she's a Democrat and she's a Hillary supporter They showed up because Donald Trump is in power now and they're all powerful people and their power is paramount to them It's the most important thing to them it it it goes beyond ideology and I if I were in their position I would never show my face in the same room with Trump, but that's probably why I'm not in their position Well, do they owe it to their stock holders to show up that might you could probably make that argument? I don't know. I think I would My my attitude towards Trump, and I don't know if every business person or ever can but people in politics and people in media and Should all have this attitude is that he we we oppose him on everything. We're not going to normalize him We're not going to pretend that he's just a conservative who has who's on the opposite side of my political beliefs I believe in this liberal approach. He believes in this conservative approach. It's not that He's he's you know, he's a threat to to our existence and he should be treated as such And he named Rex Spillerson the head of Exxon Mobus to be Rex Spillerson was my favorite porn star Was Romney was the was the funny shot Drill baby I'm gonna defend Romney And then you get the last word, okay Romney I honestly believe That Romney wasn't looking for a job. He didn't need to be state But he felt he honestly felt That Trump needed him the country needed him he was gonna pull a colon pal and say I'll be the adult in this room and Had no idea that Trump was humiliating him People have kind of mocked Romney who I couldn't care less about I detest him and his family, but Trump is far far worse than Romney. Oh, yeah, but don't you think that's why Romney went to me I think Romney I think the idea when you're a person who has been powerful who has Spent so much of your time attempting to be more powerful when The idea of being Secretary of State beckons, it's irresistible I think and and Under normal circumstances I would agree with you saying but considering that he really said that you know all these things about Trump being a horrible person and and and pointing out how immoral he is to have said that and then and Then go meet with him like I just think it was a really dumb move on his part What I what I've been saying is that what I would have really admired is Is Trump shouldn't have been the person that Romney meets with Trump it should be meeting with Obama and If he was true to his anti-Trump stance from just a couple months ago when he was talking about we we can't let Anyone who has a mother or sister or wife cannot approve of this is he should have met with Obama and said we are going to Start a bipartisan Opposition to Trump We're gonna do everything we can to oppose him and we're gonna we're gonna try to make it across party lines That would have been the meeting that he should have had mm-hmm. Yeah Well, they always said that Hitler was an evil genius and I say he was just evil I think I would probably agree with that And I think the mistake that people make with Trump is they think he's a genius. No, he's just evil There you there is no limit to how far you can go if you're evil. Yeah It's true, and we don't recognize evil. We pretend. It's not evil We think oh, he's so smart. He's so smart now. He's just evil. We've had bosses, right? Who aren't smart, but they get things done because they're evil. There are some evil people in this world Yes, and evil Will get you very far Eventually it catches up with you and Everybody else. Yeah, that's the thing is let's hope it doesn't catch up with all of us. Yeah, but Trump is evil You cannot I agree. I agree with that statement. There there is no core to him He doesn't believe in anything other than himself and making money and the Trump name he He is evil. He doesn't know right from wrong Occasionally, he's capable of sweetness and love. You know, I'm sure he loves his grandchildren the same way Stalin loved his dog But he's evil and I think Romney is not evil. I think he's no, I agree with that I think I think it's it's a really good distinction to make of someone like Romney who is out of touch Probably and who's this wealthy? businessman who is not in touch and whose ideas for The government or what we disagree with although we have something of his in place now It's called Obamacare now it used to be called Romney care point So yeah, it's it's a world of difference. There are people like that in the Republicans someone like Bob Dole It's just some oh, I totally disagree with the guy. I don't want him to be my president But there's not he's not evil. He's he he's Trump is a whole other category Yeah, and and what happens is People project their own goodness Onto and I don't know if George W. Bush Was evil he might have been but we know for a fact Dick Cheney was and Dick Cheney was the one calling the shots Anyway, Merry Christmas What are you doing for Christmas? I'm gonna go I'm actually gonna go see fences. Oh good plan. Yeah, that's my Christmas plan And it's opening Christmas day. It's opening Christmas. Yeah, I go see it. That's a great plan Yeah, you and I are gonna be at Carolines with Judy Gold. That's right And we also have a benefit coming up the 28th. I believe at Union Hall Well, you're half right. No, you're completely right December 20 really right because I tweeted that earlier today. Good Union Hall, Brooklyn It's a benefit for the ACLU the American Civil Liberties. Oh fuck really now. I don't want to do it I'm kidding. I love the ACLU. Are you a card caring member? I am trying to get my card laminated as we speak Well, I can laminate with the same stuff I use on my keyboard That was beautiful that was nice. I felt like I was at one with you. We had a really nice moment there It's a benefit for the ACLU John fuel saying Frank Conniff Jordan Carlos Joe Firestone and David Feldman at the ACLU benefit show Union Hall Brooklyn doors open at seven venue. Yes, it is It show starts at eight. It's Wednesday December 28th It's $10 for advanced tickets $12 at the door Every penny goes to the ACLU. I strongly urge people to go if you want Nazis to march and smokey This is the cause for you I strongly urge people to visit the ACLU Website and read their blogs and see the great work that they're doing they have pretty much declared war against Donald Trump God bless them. Yeah, and so have we we're gonna fight Trump every step of the way and So should you give to Planned Parenthood if you have any money this holiday season give to the ACLU In Mike Pence's name in Mike Pence's name St. Jude's does not turn kids away St. Jude's is a wonderful thing and yeah Danny Thomas was So and I'm not even gonna say anything about Danny Tom. That's how great your St. Jude's is yes, if you loved Robin Williams, I don't think I'm speaking Out of line here being presumptuous, but if you loved Robin Williams I think if you give money to St. Jude's you'd be honoring his memory and from the showbrisk studios in downtown Manhattan that'll do it for us The David Feldman radio program is made possible by listeners like you You sad pathetic humps