 Hi everyone, welcome to another NARC Survivor Live video. Narciss all read from the same playbook. It's the same thing every time. It's like the same person just in a different body. They target you. They act like they're trying to help you. They act like for some reason they care for you and they want to support you. It's like they jump into this savior role, this role of the hero as though they're trying to save you. But if you look at it it seems as though they're in a worse situation than you are and it makes sense because they're usually the ones who target you. They don't go out targeting people. If you asked a narcissist they would tell you, no they don't do that. They're there to save you when really they needed your support. They needed you to save them. Now then at some point something goes wrong. Maybe you start to catch on to what they're doing. Everything they claimed was love. Maybe you started to be suspicious about what they were really there for. Or maybe you no longer validated their false self. You no longer believed in the illusion and then suddenly they turn against you. But up until that point they would go in behind your back talking to your family and friends about you, priming them ready for the discard, ready for the smear campaign and then they start devaluing you. Now you're worthless. You're nothing. You can't do anything right. You don't do enough. Which makes you wonder why did they target you in the first place. But if you were to ask them they would say that you deceived them. You gave them a false impression. When they know fully well that's what they did to you which is why they're so quick to say that to you and they charm everyone around you. Anyone who they believe could act as your support network. They have to demolish that. They have to bring that into their realm so that they can use it against you. Here's the thing that people need to realize. It doesn't matter what they said to you. It doesn't matter what they did. Future faking. The love bombing. The narcissist never loved you. They never cared about you. They just saw you as a meal ticket but they knew that as someone who is very given, as someone who is an empath, they knew that you didn't want that. They knew that someone like you would not want someone who's shallow and just wants them, just wants you for what you've got. Whatever it may be, whether it's money, sex, a place to stay. They know that an empathic person doesn't want to be around someone who's just looking for that. So they deceive you. They act like it's something more and then they try to make you think you're the one who's not, you're not pulling your weight. If you love them why aren't you doing more? But the thing is no matter how much you do, it will never be enough for a narcissist. There's nothing you can do to fill that void within them. It will never be enough even if you had all the money in the world, unlimited energy, even if you could tolerate everything they throw at you. They would still find a problem with that. They're never going to appreciate you. Now they can't even respect anything that's around them. Once you become a part of their lives, they just see you as something to play with. They look at it like if you were so great, why would you want to be around them? They all read from the same playbook. It's the same thing every time. They target you, starts off with a love bombing, devaluation, it switches back and forth for a while and then finally it's the discard. But it doesn't end there because then you have the hoovering and then it can go back and forth between the love bombing and devaluation again depending on whether you let them back in or not. And on average the victims get hoovered about seven times before it's finally all over. Same thing every time but yet they all think they're so different. They all think they're playing the game differently as though they're just magically in some kind of stealth mode and you can't see through it. Or even if you can, you're not going to be able to convince other people about it. Which sadly in many situations might be true. A lot of people don't understand this. They're not aware of it. And of course, narcissists like to stick together. They do bond with their own kind and it just becomes secondary tertiary gaslighting. Well you may think that you're losing your mind. You may think that even though it's a no end and you've been blamed for your own abuse, you think that what if it is your fault but it's not. It's all a lie. It's all a head game. I mean none of us are angels. I'm sure we've all done things that were not good. Maybe even things that we regret but I'd bet that you were pushed and provoked to that point before you then finally caved in and they do it hundreds of times. They never stop. It just goes on and on and on. They're just going to push and provoke you forever. And then suddenly you snap. You react. And then the narcissist is like haha look at you. Look what you've done. Never mind everything that they did up until that point. You know they'll just ignore all of that. None of that is relevant. The only thing that matters is your reaction because remember they've got a narrative in their minds that they need to validate using the external reality. So they have to twist things around and they feel very uncomfortable when you're at peace with yourself, when you're just trying to get on with things. You don't want to fight. You just want to keep the peace. You think a normal person would be okay with that. You'd think that would be what they prefer but no when the narcissist sees you just relaxing. Just sitting back without a worry. No they've got to come in and provoke you. They've got to get a reaction out of you because as long as you're just sitting there peacefully that reflects back to them that maybe there's something wrong with them because they look at it like it's either you or them and if you're sitting there and you're happy you're relaxed that means it must be them. So they'll poke at you until you lose it until you start acting like them and then they'll point the finger at you. They'll say that you were the cause of it. They'll never acknowledge everything that they did up until that point because that's not going to validate their narrative. Narcissists don't care about what is true unless it's favourable for them. Otherwise the truth doesn't matter. They will distort the truth to support their false narrative and they all do this. They all use the exact same tactics no matter what part of the world they're from. It's all about winning. It's all about power and control. Narcissists apply their junkies and that is their drug and they will choose it any day over you over what they claim to be love. All they care about is supply. That's why their image and reputation is so important to them and it's so obvious when you get to the end you just know you figure it out then that it was all a lie because some of the things they do to you towards the end they really makes you think if they had ever loved you or cared about you or ever had your best interests in mind there's no way they would have treated you that way. They wouldn't have provoked you. They wouldn't have started a smear campaign and tried to turn people against you. They wouldn't have tried to sabotage your career assassinate your character. They wouldn't have done any of those things. Someone who loves you wants you to live a good life even if they can't be a part of it they'll still want the best for you. They're not going to go around badmouthing you trying to bring you down. If you make it clear to them that you want nothing to do with them they will just leave you alone but narcissists no they don't do that. They come in and they use you up for everything you've got. They just see you as a meal ticket and once they get you they just milk you like a cow they milk you for all your worth and when you start to catch on and you realize how much you've lost your time energy and resources that's when it's time for them to bail. They've got to get out of there because they already know that the amount they've taken from you there's no way they could repay the debt there's no way that they could repay what they owe to you even though they always played it down and that's when they're out of there. It's always the same thing every time it never changes that's why these videos can sometimes seem repetitive because they're always the same the behaviors are the same the mentality if you look at NPD in the DSM-5 there's nine traits and you only need four of those nine traits to be a full-blown NPD which shows that if there's only four traits well even if it was the full nine traits they're all the same there's no difference between them they all read from the same playbook so if you're dealing with a narcissist you should already be able to predict how it's going to end I would even recommend just writing some notes right now from things that I've said in this videos and my other videos take some notes and then read it back when it's finally over you'll be shocked because you will find that everything you've written down has happened there's no such thing as being good enough for a narcissist they don't want you to be good enough they need you to be bad you have to be bad so they could be good you can't have two good people in their minds not if there's a problem if there's a problem in the relationship someone must must be to blame someone must be bad and that someone is not going to be them remember they created a false self who is perfect no narcissist is going to choose their source of supply over their false self they're just not going to do that they will defend it to the end and they will turn everyone and everything against you before they ever even think about doing that 205 live viewers great to have you all here with me tonight they all read from the same playbook they all do the same things love bombing devaluation discard hoover and yet they all think they're so different they think that either you can't see what they're doing or other people can't and even if you know you won't be able to convince other people sad thing is it's not even so much you or other people but they're really trying to convince remember there's only one person they care about and that's themselves so everything and everyone in the world they're all just chess pieces they're movable they can be repositioned and the narcissist will move people and things around to suit their liking to reflect back to them whatever they want to believe because that's all we are to narcissists we're just pawns your purpose between narcissists it's just to reflect back to them whatever they want to believe about themselves let that sink in it's all about what they want to believe about themselves and they use you and other people to fuel these false beliefs and the cure for narcissism is to let of those beliefs they would just let the go let the beliefs go the belief that they are always right the belief that they are perfect the belief that they can't do anything wrong and it's always someone else's fault the belief that they don't have to change anything about themselves i could go on and on but i think you get it if they could just drop these beliefs it would change everything accountability can change a person's life and you just look in the mirror and you say to yourself okay maybe i shouldn't have done that maybe it isn't right to do that maybe i was wrong when you can look in the mirror and do that take accountability it will change your life because in any situation or at least almost any situation there's always something you could have done differently but tell that to a narcissist and they're not going to listen they'll say show maybe for for other people but not for me the role comes down to is narcissists are very weak fragile people they're afraid they're insecure just imagine going into battle and your enemies have swords bows and arrows you're gonna need some armor because you're vulnerable the body is weak compared to those kinds of sharp tools same thing with a narcissist they're weak fragile people they're vulnerable so they have to be protected by a wall a shield they have to close themselves in close themselves off but by doing that they can only ever see their own perspective their own thoughts and feelings they cannot tune into your world so it's like you're in a different world to them you feel like you're an alien it's always the same anyway i'm not going to stay too long on this topic i think we've gone deep enough there although as you can probably imagine i can go a lot deeper into these topics although i am limited for time but i am available for one hour coaching sessions 90 minute coaching sessions where we can go as deep as you want on whatever topic you prefer so if that sounds good to you you can book a coaching session with me through the website narksurvivor.co.uk book a session with me there and we can talk about whatever you want and we can go deep into it and it will be tailor made to your situation because if there's one thing that you need when you're going through this it's someone who can validate your experience you'll find no shortage of people who don't believe you or they will just tell you to get over it or they think that the narcissist is the victim there will be no shortage of shortage of people like that but finding someone who can really understand someone who can really validate your experience because they've been there they've been through it all before that's not so easy to find and that's probably why we've all gravitated towards each other online because that's clearly one thing that we all have in common we struggle to find each other in real life we struggle to find other empaths other people who get it but that is my mission and my purpose is to give that to you i do identify myself as being an empath but i'll also let you be the judge of that i do try my best to share other people's experiences within reason of course unfortunately with some people you do just have to shut that off sometimes but really it's best just to go no contact because if you're around someone all the time and you're just constantly trying to shut them off i could affect you i could affect your empathy that's the thing is when you don't have any empathy coming in it's hard to show empathy for other people which is what happened with these narcissists no one ever cared about them as people no one really valued that part of them it was all about what they could do what they could be their achievements intelligence or appearance never about the inside so find people who do value what really matters which is what's inside of you and most importantly of all see that within yourself don't wait for someone else to see it see it right now that beautiful part of you inside your heart and soul because that is what really matters and that's the only thing that's going with you when you die so cherish it love it share it with people who deserve it and reciprocate it thank you all for joining this live video i appreciate you all please give the video a thumbs up share your thoughts in the comment section share this video subscribe and there will be more premieres tomorrow have a good day