 Ladies and gentlemen, this is Jack Benny. If any of you have visited a hospital anywhere in America recently, you know there's a serious, a critical shortage of nurses. At least 65,000 new students must enroll this year, if we are to care for our fighting forces and our civilians at home. So please think about it. You can do an important war job as a cadet nurse, and you can become one with all expenses paid. The U.S. Cadet Nurse Corps issues scholarships, which pay all expenses, plus a regular monthly spending allowance. As a cadet nurse, you can help your country right now, and you receive training for a respected and well-paid lifetime career. So if you're from 18 to 35 years of age, with a good high school record and good health, why don't you join the U.S. Cadet Nurse Corps? Apply for complete information at your local hospital, or write to the U.S. Cadet Nurse Corps, Box 88, New York City. The Grape Nuts and Grape Nuts Flakes Program, starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston, Phil Harris, Dennis Day Rochester, and yours truly, Don Wilson. Folks, Wilbur Brown is on a diet. And of all the foolish things I ever heard, why it's so silly, I hate to tell you. You know what Wilbur does? He goes on a starvation diet for breakfast. Then, of course, eats like a stuffed owl at lunchtime. Doesn't the poor guy know that breakfast is the stoke-up meal, the most important meal of the day? We've been without any food 10 or 12 hours. That's why dieticians tell us we need at least one quarter of our entire day's nourishment in the morning. And they say we need a whole-brain cereal. So make it Grape Nuts Flakes, folks. Delicious? You bet. Crisp, toasty brown, molly rich, and nourishing. Ah, Grape Nuts Flakes are a whole-brain cereal, crammed full of energy-giving whole-brain food values. So friends, don't be a Wilbur. Eat a good breakfast, do a better job, and feature tempting toasty brown Grape Nuts Flakes, America's most distinctive flake cereal, Grape Nuts Flakes. Let's turn back the clock a few hours. It's Sunday morning in the Jack Benny household. A Sunday, a Monday, and always I would be in heaven if I could roll a seven Sunday, Monday, and always My poor heart pound Rochester, Rochester, whoever told you you could sing. There was only one man who told me I couldn't. Well, I'd like to meet him. He's dead now. Well, grab up another pillow behind me, so I'll be more comfortable. You can bring me my breakfast now. Okay, but this is the silliest thing I ever heard of. There's nothing silly about it. Lots of people have breakfast in bed. I know, boss, but not in the kitchen. Well, it's warmer down here than it is up in my room. I hope you haven't any objection. No, but it sure was a strain on me, carrying your bed downstairs. It was a strain on me, too. You almost shook me out of it. Now, how about some, uh, some orange juice? I'm fixing it for you right now. Let's see. Here's the orange. Now, where's the knife? I got it. Now to give it a good squeeze. What? What was that? Juice! That looks good. What else, what else should I have, Rochester? How about some breakfast cereal? Yeah, what kind of breakfast cereal have we got? Oh, boss, come now! I'll have the flakies this time. The flakies? And, uh, would you like some? Uh-oh. Say, boss, here comes your crazy boarder, Mr. Billingsley. Shh, quiet, Rochester. You'll hurt his feelings. Good morning, Mr. Billingsley. Good morning, Mr. Benny, taking it lying down, I see. Yes, yes, breakfast in bed is one luxury I always enjoy. You know, I always used to have my bed in the kitchen, too. In fact, I lived in the kitchen. You did? Why? Oh, it was one of those things. I was married to a cockroach. To...to a cockroach? Her name was Gwendolyn. We used to argue all the time over who was boss. What was that, Mr. Billingsley? I say we used to argue all the time over who was boss. You and the cockroach? You did? Yes. One day I put my foot down and that was the end of it. Hmm. After that, I stayed single for a long time. Well, I got tired of being a bachelor, so I remarried. What's that, Rochester? A trap. It finally caught that mouse. Oh, well, what do you know? I'm single again. One tragedy after another. Would you, uh, would you care for a cup of coffee, Mr. Billingsley? No thanks. I must be leaving now. I'm going to run over to the barber shop and get a T-bone steak. But you can't get a T-bone steak at the barber shop. I know, but I can't get one at the butcher's either, so I might as well get a haircut while I'm waiting. I see. Well, goodbye, Mr. Benny. Goodbye. How did that get by the censor? That's what you... You know, Rochester, I feel like laughing, but he scares me so. Rochester, I think you're right. He has been acting a little eccentric lately. Well, have me my robe. I'm going to get up. Okay. Say, boss, you better hurry. We've got to pick up your camera at the freight company today. That's right, Rochester. I invited my whole gang over. And remember, don't breathe a word about it. I want the camel to be a big surprise. I'll get it, Rochester. You clean up the dishes. Oh, hello, Mary. Hello, Jack. Well, you told me to come over here. Now, what's the big secret you're going to spring on us? Mary, you'll never guess. It'll be the biggest surprise this towel ever had. Don't tell me you were drafted. Don't be silly, Mary. I'm over 38. What are you laughing at? That's what kept me out of the last war. Mary, I'm only a little over 38 now. Go on. You've got a brother that's 50. I know I have. Your twin brother. So what? We had a slow doctor. Anyway, the idea of my being in the service isn't so ridiculous. Well, you know what Fred Allen said. The biggest laugh you ever got was when you appeared before your draft board. Oh, yeah? Well, all I know is when Allen went to his draft board, they looked at the guy in front of him and said 4-H, the guy in back of him and said 4-F, then they looked at Allen and said, what poor? Which, incidentally, the same thing his father said to the store. So don't tell me about Allen. All right, Jack. Why, that weakling? He had to take a local anesthetic to get his elks tooth cleaned. So don't tell me about Allen. All right, Jack, I won't. He had to go to Charles Atlas for six months to get enough muscles to hiccup. Don't tell me about Allen. All right, Jack, all right. And you're lucky I can't think of anything else. Jack, will you please forget about Allen and tell me what the surprise is? Mary, I'm not going to tell you. You'll have to wait here until it comes. Meanwhile, I'm going upstairs and get dressed. Okay, I want to use the phone anyway. I forgot to tell Butterfly what to prepare for dinner. Go ahead. I'll be down in a minute. The operator number, please. Give me crass few five, two, seven, one, seven. Just a minute. Does Mr. Benny know you're using his phone? Well, of course he knows. Oh, yeah? Well, what's the password? The password? Well, of all the... Alphanelomide. You have to get a prescription to make a phone call here yet. Operator, it's Alphanelomide. Okay, I'll get your number. Miss Livingston. Oh, hello, Miss Livingston. You called. You are Butterfly. Why? I was lonesome. Butterfly, the reason I called is I forgot to tell you what to prepare for dinner tonight. Mm-hmm. I'll have dinner at seven o'clock. So let's have vegetable soup, salad with thousand-dollar dressing, lamb chops and rice pudding. Have you got that down? I haven't even cooked it yet. Butterfly, I mean, did you write it down? No, ma'am, but I will. Would you mind telling me again, Miss Livingston? All right. Vegetable soup, salad with thousand-dollar dressing, lamb chops and rice pudding. Now, have you got that written? Not yet, Miss Livingston. I'm having trouble with the spelling. Oh, uh, what can't you spell? The words. Never mind, Butterfly. I'll come home early and help you out. Thank you. By the way, Miss Livingston, when you get home, would you mind coming in the back door? I'll try and be careful. Goodbye. Goodbye. Say, Mary, Mary, I'm going to rush out now and bring back the surprise. So you call Don, Phil and Dennis and tell them to hurry over. All right. Rochester, get the car out. Okay, boss. Oh, Jack, are you still driving around in that yellow cab of yours? Mary, it doesn't look like a cab anymore. I had it painted a different color. Oh. That's right, Miss Livingston. If we didn't stop to pick up passengers, no one would know it's a taxi cab. Rochester, stop lying and let's go. Oh, darn it, there's the phone. I'll get it. Hello? Mr. Benny, this is the operator. Yes? What's the password for tomorrow? L-S-M-F-T. You better hurry, Rochester. I want to get to the freight office before it closes. Okay. And when we get the camel, I want you to be nice to her. Boss, I don't want to have anything to do with those wild animals. I'm having enough trouble with your polar bears. Oh, you're always afraid of Carmichael, just because he shows his teeth once in a while. For heaven's sake, he's only smiling at you. Smiling at me? Yes. You want to know something, boss? What? Yesterday, when I was feeding him, I happened to turn my back and he smiled right through the seat of my pain. Oh, Rochester, stop exaggerating. Carmichael's just playful. Playful? What happened to the gas man? What are you talking about? That was two years ago. Well, we haven't had a gas bill since. All right, Rochester, drop it. Anyway, here we are at the freight office. Oh, boy. Won't the gang be surprised when I come home with the camel? I guess we'll have to go over to that other window. Where? Over there, where the man's on the phone. I'm sorry, but we don't make deliveries. You'll have to call for it yourself. I'll be with you in a minute, sir. No, no, I can't break the rule. You'll have to call for it yourself. Goodbye. Can you imagine a guy like that sending a mountain goat all the way from Denver? A mountain goat, huh? What a crackpot he must be. Well... But there's nothing. You know what I got waiting here for something to do with? What? It's... It's... What is it? If I told you, you wouldn't believe it. Oh, yes. Rochester. Well, what's waiting here for you, bud? Well... What is it? Pets in North Africa. Now, you have got my camel here, haven't you? You don't think I got these windows open because I love the great outdoors, do we? Never mind that. Bring her out. You'll have to go get her yourself, mister. Every time I go near that crazy animal, she spits at me. Your old Paul camels only spit at people they don't like. Come on, Rochester. We'll go get her. Oh, there she is, Rochester. There's the camel. Isn't she cute? Oh, you sweet thing. We're going to be pals, aren't we? We're going to... There's nothing, Rochester. That's through me a kiss. Well, I've got some of it on me. Let me put this rope around her neck. Okay. Gee, Rochester, I can hardly wait to get her home. Boy, will the gang be surprised. I'm keeping Jack so long. I'm getting kind of anxious to know what the surprise is. Me, too. What do you think it is, Phil? I don't know. Maybe he broke down and finally decided to give us Christmas presents. Oh, I don't think so. I told Jack it's better to give than to receive, but he didn't hear the first part of it. Now, I guess it isn't that. Oh, I know what. Why? Maybe he broke down and finally decided to give us Christmas presents, huh? Dennis, I just said that. You did? Yeah. Copycat? Oh. Say, I'll bet I know what the surprise is. No, Don. No. No, Don. No, I don't see why not. Don, please. Gee, Mary, why couldn't the surprise be a violin? Maybe a real strat of areas. Oh, for a minute, I thought you were going to say greatness flakes. So did I. I didn't. Why, of course not. Now, what kind of a surprise would greatness flakes be? There's nothing unusual about people coming home with greatness flakes. And why shouldn't they? They're moldy, rich, sweet as a nut, and they're a whole grain cereal. Mr. Wilson is right. It could be a violin. And not only that. They're a basic seven food. Violins? No, greatness flakes. And they're a thrifty buy in the big 12-ounce economy-sized package. That could be a small violin. Nothing. Yeah, we'll just have to wait with greatness. I mean Jackson gets back. Hey, Dennis, while we're waiting, how about giving us a little entertainment? OK, take a card. I don't mean card trick. Oh, this isn't a trick. This card I want you to take is from my singing teacher. He's looking for more business. Oh, well, we'll talk about that later. Yeah, let's have that song, kid. Well, she can pull in her neck and pull up her leg. But she won't get in. She keeps shying away. You should have taken a minute out, boy. She knows it's a touch again. Don't be silly, Rochester. But put the flag up anyway. Now let's see. I'll tell you what we better do. You drive the car home and I'll ride the camel. Give me a boost. OK. Is that it, girlie? Gee, this feels high. Would you people ever see a camel before? Hey, sonny, stop that. We'll make him stop riding his bicycle under us. A bunch of tourists. Rochester, start the car and let's get going. I beg your pardon, sir. You know me and don't deny it. This happens to be a camel. I'm not talking to you. Let's get away from this crowd. Come on, girlie. Get it out. Careful, boss. There she goes down the street. Don't worry, boss. There's a red light. She'll have to stop. Don't be silly. Well, I better call up the house and tell the gang not to wait. Donna and I wanted to surprise them with the camel. Oh, well. Rochester, you try to catch her. I'm going over to that drugstore. I can't hang around here any longer. I got to get home before the broadcast and bring Alice my radio script. Oh, does she rehearse it with you? No, she explains it to me. Well, I can do that, Phil. Hey, that must be Jack with a surprise. Yeah, maybe that's why he's ringing the bell. I'll open the door. Girlfriend Gladys Obisco, when he wanted me to come... Say, Mary, maybe they're engaged. Come on in, Gladys. Thank you. Oh, so you're the surprise. Oh, Mr. Visco. Yeah. They're trying to be a wolf. Hey, Mary, it looks like that Jack and his girlfriend got their signals crossed, huh? Yeah, I wonder where... Oh, excuse me, Gladys. I'll be right back. Hey, this is Jack. I've got some bad news about my surprise. I know I've... You mean she found her way all by herself? Well, what's so wonderful about... I knew she had a tag around her neck, but I didn't know she could read. Being so funny, and I think it was rude of you not to come with her. Mary, I was bringing her home, but the rope broke and she got away. At the time I saw her, she was running down the street, waving her tail at people. Look, she must be thirsty by now. Would you mind giving her a drink? Of course not. Oh, look, you'll find a pail on the back floor. Fill it up with water and set it on the floor in front of her. On the floor? Yes. She'll get down on her knees and drink it. You know what you're talking about? Of course. She was trained that way. And Mary, look, she has a special diet, so don't give her anything to eat till I get home. I don't want anything to happen because I got a good offer for her from the zoo. Jack, I think she's got a good offer. Jack, I think you're nuts. Oh, I know she looks kind of dirty now, but when I get home, I'm going to give her a bath. If she heard you say that, she'd slap your face. Slap my face? Mary, what are you talking about? Your girlfriend, Gladys Obisco, she's here. Well, what of us? Isn't she your surprise? No, the surprise is my camel. She remembers the one that I said I was going to the Rochester calling me. What is it, Rochester? I found a camel. Good, where'd you find her? In the next booth. In Egypt, they'll be a three hour. I just stopped making up such silly things. Okay. Now tell me, where is she? She's over at the counter having a cherry coke. Well, that's different. Let's go get her and go home. Most folks are sort of contrary. Why, if a law was passed, no more breakfast, everybody'd holler for breakfast, but as it is, far, far too many people are skimping the most important meal of the day. And you can't expect to do a man-sized job on a canary bird breakfast. Eat a good breakfast, do a better job, and feature those two leading favorites, Grape Nuts and Grape Nuts Flakes. If you've enjoyed the distinctive, molly-rich goodness of these two delicious cereals, you know why they're favorites, because theirs is the luscious flavor of sun-ripened wheat and malted barley, expertly blended. Grape Nuts, crisp, crunchy kernels, Grape Nuts Flakes, delicate, toasty brown flakes. Both bring you a swell-tasting breakfast treat and a big extra plus, the extra plus of all-around whole-grain nourishment. One type of nourishment recommended as a breakfast must by nutrition experts. Yep, they're as good for you as they're grand to eat. So feature Grape Nuts and Grape Nuts Flakes on your breakfast table every morning. Well, folks, we'll be with you next Sunday night at the same time, broadcasting from the Marine Air Station at El Toro, California. Good night, everybody.