 Hello. If you can hear me clap once, you can't hear me clap twice. Wrong one. There you go. Erin's going to make clicker today, so I'll point it out if I need a slight change. How's everyone doing? Everyone's good? Everyone? Every single person? 100%? All good. Is that what you're saying? So this is my experience, my emotional journey. I'm not really concerned if you're rude or not. Not to be rude, but basically you shouldn't care about my emotional journey. I don't care about yours. Everyone has their own emotional journey that they go through. If I start putting what I think about your emotional journey, then it's on your journey. Alright, so I wanted to start off on a bit of a positive split. I used to have a solo part of our company aimed at providing solar energy for the poor. I did it for three years. Basically I provided 4,000 solar power systems in 4,000 homes, affecting 12,000 or 15,000 people, helping their life. I did this for three years. The first year and a half was great, but turned into a bit of a different story. I wasn't happy anymore. I was on Forbes Magazine, I was on Champions Asia. I was on every major media outlet. At the end of last year I actually got mentioned as one of the top 10 social entrepreneurs in Indonesia. But I felt about how in the world that I reached my goal but feel completely empty. I know that's what you're asking, and I'll tell you how. But first, go ahead. So here's a photo of me pretending I do a shit about my company. And on the top of the triangle is the corporation, the fact that it's all money. And on the far left is represents the poor underdeveloped rural communities. What I used to do is I used to pitch my idea to companies and use their CSR budget to install as many solar power systems as possible. Very simple concept. But what I found out over here is that I don't know, maybe I wasn't getting the respect that I wanted from the companies after all. I was an Indonesian, I was an Indonesian citizen in Indonesia, helping their country, and they weren't respecting me. So I felt really, really down. And not only that, the poor communities were complaining. So I was getting fucked from the corporate side and it fucked from the rural development side. It was a real love triangle, I'm telling you. I was getting fucked all over the place. So I want to use one company I designed. You know what was that one? Right. Look at that stupid logo. A kid staring at the stars. Because all the employees go to work and start the fucking window all day. That's why. So this is one of the examples. This happens all the time. We had seven months of negotiations back and forth. And I had to go up and I tried my best to get their attention. You know, three canceled meetings in the space of about seven and a half months. They changed their address while I was going to their final meeting. And two incapable employees joined the meeting. This shit is like a Christmas carol. Seven months of negotiations. Three canceled meetings. One of them changed the plan. There's two new employees. It's funny now. And during the meeting, what happened is that after the meeting, okay, say, actually our CSL program was to focus on water. After all this shit, you want to tell me now. So this is one of the examples. I thought, I mean, this was just one company. This was happening all the time. I just felt that I wasn't getting respect. I don't know, maybe I shouldn't expect respect. But I just felt that, you know, you guys are the big shots. I'm a small little guy working on my own. The least you can do is answer your fucking emails. It's just common decency. But this is just one side. The next side is helping the poor. They were complaining. They were complaining and complaining and complaining about their products. Why wasn't it bigger? Can I get one for my mother in a little village? These are the kind of issues that they were paying. So helping the poor wasn't as great as I thought it was. The first year was wonderful. You know, all the flowers are red cross feeding kids. It's not bullshit, but it's not great. It's not just rainbows and butterflies. So I was honestly getting completely screwed. Technicians. It's all right. Shut the fuck up. I was actually making, I'm fucking up on fuck up night. I actually was making it, making it work on the behind screen there. It's in there by the way. Oh really? Shall I just take over? You want to sit down? I can use that slide. It's fine. Okay, for now. All right. So basically, I don't know if many people feel this way, but that's pretty much a charade. I was doing one and a half years of trying my best to make the company look good, but I was doing my shit. Maybe it's the idea of social media that you have to make everything look amazing. Maybe it was the fact that, you know, at the end of the day, my parents, they don't want to see me give up. So I was doing all sorts of crap, taking all sorts of photos, putting Instagram, Facebook, but at the end of the day, I was feeling like absolute shit. And when I got that last award, I said, you know, I thought this, I'm out. Seriously. Because it was just the end of my road. And I was working way too hard. I get mentions and being on top lists of something. And I felt bad. So there's no way that I wanted to continue this kind of charade. I don't know if anyone else feels this way, but I definitely felt it. This wasn't like a six-month feeling. This is like one and a half years of just pretending that everything is great, but actually feeling crap. I was doing okay work, but I wasn't working for myself anymore. I don't know what I was working for, but I definitely wasn't happy. And so here are some of the awards. I was working for getting awards. I was working for getting mentioned in some place. And every time I put up a post on Facebook, they'll have a wife, and everyone's like, keep going, you keep going, you do this, you're doing great work. I'm like, yeah, thanks. They're not helping. You want to do something, you go take a solo panel and travel six hours to some freaking house. And you can do it. Everyone just loves what you do, but you're kind of doing it on your own. You're not getting the support needed. So I was working way too hard to get mentioned, but I did learn a few lessons. The lessons I learned was basic appreciation for people who were doing it on their own. I'm just a man of appreciation for people who are doing their own startups, especially social enterprises. I offer a lot of free consulting. No one's going to be taking that on yet, but I offer it. I try not to cut the bullshit. I'm so happy when a company writes me back and says no. Why? Because at least they gave me the respect to say no. I hate it, but they just leave me hanging. So I love it when people cut the bullshit. I'm really happy when you give me negative information, because negative information is better than no information at all. And the last thing I learned is my, the confidence is so important. If we dump stupid and broke, but if you have confidence, you'll do it. I used to be dump stupid and broke when I first started the company, but I had confidence. So from now on, I make sure that my confidence is in check. I don't do anything that's going to harm my confidence. Because I know once the confidence goes, everything is going to fall apart. So those are the three lessons I learned from my social friends and my work. So thanks a lot.