 Hello, Glastonbury! No, I know it's not really. Oh, I love the echo. I ought to introduce myself a little bit. My name's Ian Dunn. Ian B. Dunn is the whole of my name. I'm very lucky. I get to go all over the country, occasionally other countries as well, going on about science and stuff. I'm basically a recruiting sergeant. I go to schools and science festivals and goodness knows what else. Trying to get kids interested. And this is a stripped-down version of a talk that I often do at secondary level and for general public. I call it science-magic-magic science. It's not like a talk I saw a few years ago. I saw a guy do a talk that he called the magic of science. And he basically droned on for an hour and a half until half the audience were asleep. And I think one guy pretended to be dead to get out of the room. It was that bad. Not like... I'm sure none of the talks here are like that at all. Although I'm the first time it here, so it's quite exciting. Ooh! It's exciting as well, isn't it? My talk is about bits of science that look like magic, but I'm going to use just conjuring tricks. A lot have, okay? Imagine it's a couple of hundred years ago, and I came here and I said to you, I have magic powers. You would probably go, go on, then prove it. And I would say, yeah, you see this ordinary bar of metal. Ordinary bar of metal. You could buy a bar of metal like this on your way home. So a lot of you are probably very familiar with this metal. We call it aluminium. However, due to the fact that I've got magic powers, I can do something unusual to it. Hopefully. Come on. I can make it sing just by touching it. But kind of a very powerful magician. Only going to make it sing. I can make it scream. And I can keep it up for hour, after hour, after hour, after hour, until your little brain goes all runny and comes out of your ears. Because I can make it go, and only I can make it stop. Now, it is very easy to do. Obviously, it is no magic trick. It's a science trick. You could learn to do it after an hour's practice. You're going to annoy your entire family. Your dog will be lying on the floor going, ah! Because it makes his doggie brain shake inside his doggie head. Basically, you hold it in the middle. When you rub it, when you rub it, it puts energy and it resonates. Different lengths give you different notes. People have made musical instruments out of this. I like the noise this one makes. But then again, that's because I can't hear all of it. You see, as you get older some bad things happen and one of them is, you go deaf. And lots of the noises this makes, I can no longer hear. But young people can. Which is great, means I can torture kids. Which is some compensation. Right, I haven't got long, so I'll be quick. This is similar. This is a Tibetan singing bowl. You make it sing by running a bit of wood around the edge. Now, if you go on the internet, you'll find lots of websites that will tell you that is a really healing noise. And I thought, it's just a metal bowl. Will others do it? The answer is yes, they will. I came across these two in a charity shop. They're silver plated, but they just made a brass really. But this will also make a very... You can use a wooden spoon handle for that. But this will also make a very... Come on. Healing noise. And this one, being a different shape, makes a different, very healing noise. And if you rub them together, they make an absolutely beautiful healing noise. Healing noise. For now, you can annoy your whole family just using cheap junk. It's immensely satisfying. Where am I going? Over here. When you play the violin, the reason you get beautiful music out of the violin is because the bow moves over the strings, it makes the strings resonate, and then the box resonates too, and you get all that lovely music. I'm going to play the violin at you because it would contraven your human rights. I'm rubbish on the violin. Instead, I'm going to play this rather lovely... ...saw. I used to use this for the saw in the Lady and Half trick, but I'm not allowed to do that anymore. Health and safety. And please excuse the way I play the saw. I know most people play sitting down. I always have to play standing up. Or spooky. That is actually useful. That is really handy at Halloween. If you have a little trick or treaters, knock on your door. Trick or treat? Give me some sweets. I'm going to smash your windows! If you open the front door and you're standing there like this, they all run away screaming. Brilliant. Lowest notes about here. Highest. About here. Would you like that one? No, it won't be cruel. I haven't got long. I'll be quick. It's very easy to play the saw, providing you're strong enough to bend it. It's quite a lot bendier. This is still shot, but this is actually made for playing. There's a label on there and it says, Sandvik Stradivarius. Just two. And there's a picture of somebody playing the saw. The thing is, the person in the picture, it looks to me like they're not actually wearing any clothes. I think that's a bad idea, don't you? One twang to be, ah! You get in the hospital, they say, How did you do that? I was playing the saw with no clothes on. Going to be there a long time. You can go back down there. This is downhill. This is actually a musical instrument as well. This is a thing called a theremin. With a bit of luck, when I turn it on, something will happen. Nothing happens. My theremin has... Oh! At least you're working. Every time you set these up, they're different. Oh, dear. Excuse me. Oh, that's worse. Oh, I've broken it. Pardon? I'll tell you what. When I get nearer to it, with a bit of luck, it will make a noise. Oh, lots of crackle. You can go like this. That one does pitch, this one does volume. You get the idea. The guy who invented this was trying to make a metal detector. I think telling stuff is close together. You could use one as a car alarm. You can do impressions. Here's an impression of a car. Little birdie. Mosquito. People that are good at it can make it sound like it's talking. I can manage hello. You get the idea. Sadly, not used a lot in music anymore. Used to be used a lot in the 1950s in some of the great science fiction films like The Day the Earth Stood Still. And you can imagine in my film, you have the hero walking along the long dark corridor. And at the end of the long dark corridor is the laboratory. And in that laboratory is the monster. And hopefully it would go like this. So he gets to the end of the corridor. He puts his hand on the door handle and goes like this. He opens the door and goes like this. And the monster goes some mutated pepper pig. Just to prove it is actually an instrument, I will attempt to play Happy Birthday. If it's your birthday today, then this is for you. Better move here much. Oh, I want to introduce you to my little friend here. I don't know if you can see him. But this is my little cat. He's a robotic cat called Cat. And hope... Hopefully if I turn him on, he'll do something. Oh, are you alive? What are you doing? Are you going to make a noise? That will have to do. I trained him to count. Not yet. How many fingers am I holding up? No, not that one. How many fingers? How many fingers? How many fingers? One. Come on. I'm going to reprogram you with an axe. We have a good day. You're just sulking. I'm holding up three fingers. Come on. One. Two. Are you going to behave? Do you want to go back in your box? Are you going to behave? Are you going to behave? Are you going to behave? Come on. I'll take that as you're going to behave. OK. I'm going to leave him on. I'm never quite sure what he's going to do. It's half the fun. For my next trick, I'm going to do this. Here I have a classic magic trick. I will attempt to match your magic tricks. I'm rubbish at them, but we'll have a go. Empty bowl, completely and utterly empty bowl. There is nothing in that bowl but a few billionaire molecules all having a nice little dance. I place the bowl on the table. I place the lid on the bowl. I take the lid off and I look their stuff in there. If you can't work out how that works, get professional help. Traditionally, this is called a chick pan, because you're supposed to stuff it with little chicks. You can get a bigger one called a dove pan. I just put pigeons in, but I think that's cruel. I put rope in mine, and it leads me to my next trick, which is called the cut rope restored. The idea is I will cut the rope in half and magically join it back together again. That's the idea. Just before I do, I need a brave volunteer to check this one piece of rope. Could you check this one piece of rope for me? Please, do not eat it. Do not tie anybody up. Do not strangle anybody. All that sort of thing. Convince this one piece of rope. May I have my rope back, please? Check it over here. Go on. I'm dead. Well done. Right. There's one end. I'll go back over here now. There's one end. There's the other end. Are you still alive? I place them in both hands. I take the middle. I place the middle in the same hand, because I only have two hands. Now I need to find my scissors. I'm afraid I'm not allowed to let you touch the scissors. Health and safety. You see, they're pointy. I know you're not allowed pointy. You might go, oh, pointy. Like pointy. That'd be bad. Cut the rope. There's one piece of rope. There's the other piece of rope. I tie them into a nice little knot. At this point I need to say, does anybody know any magic words? All very good. You were listening. Once upon a time we thought it was Arabic, but it turns out it's not. Tell you what, I haven't got long, so I'll better carry on. I want you to pick your favourite magic word. OK? After three, I'd like you to say your favourite magic word. One. Two. Nothing rude from the back, all right? One, two, three. Out again. Out again. One, two, three. Out again. One, two, three. Out again. That'll do. This is where it all goes horribly wrong, due to fact I'm rubbish. What I'm doing now, by the way, is the third most important thing you need to know as a magician. It's very technical. It's called wasting time. I do it a lot on it. But hopefully through the science of magic, one piece of rope cut in half and magically joined it back together again. Exciting, isn't it? Can I have my rope back, please? I don't know if I got away with that. Oh, thank you very much. Let's have a look. Now, if I was a proper magician, which you probably noticed I'm really not, I wouldn't tell you how I did that, but I will tell you. I lied to you. I didn't really cut it in half. I just cut the end off and tied it so it looked like a knot. You'd be amazed how many people go, oh, Don, you showed us two pieces of rope. I'm sorry if you think that your own brain is lying to you. That's how psychics get away with their nonsense, by the way. No, I just tied it round. And then when I threw it across the room, it was a little bit in my pocket, so I went like that and you went, oh, the rope's going over there. And this hand went like, ha, ha. And that's how magic tricks work. They lie to you, they get you to look the wrong way and they waste as much time as possible. In case you're wondering that, goes in there and then that goes in there. Oh, another quick magic trick before I do something electrical. Here I have a beautiful, mysterious and strange hat. What do magicians pull out of hats? Rabbits, good answer. Much better than the kid the other wakes that went, uh, broccoli. There is something under the hat. Don't worry, I will introduce you properly in a moment. Here I have my beautiful hat. I need somebody just to check there's no rabbit in the hat. All right, could you check there's no rabbit in the hat for me, please? Over there, could you just check this bunny free zone? Convinced no bunnies in there, are they? No, not one. Not even a single bunny rabbit. Right over here. Wait, I placed the hat on the table. I take my trusty metal bar. If there was a rabbit in the hat, it's now a fairly boneless bunny. This is honestly how it's done, all right? Oh, look, there's a rabbit in the hat. It's rubbish, isn't it? Now, obviously, it's not a real rabbit, and you should never hold a real rabbit by his ears, in case you're wondering why it's very simple. It's because there is ears. If this was a real rabbit, he'd be an agony by now. He'd be kicking and all sorts. Come on, run. Run. You're all right down here, aren't you? Rubbish uphill. All right, real reason I showed you the rabbit, if I showed people a rabbit like this 200 years ago, all that cat, people would go, oh, my word, I don't like the look of that. That looks like evil magic. I think that bloke's a witch. Let's burn him. But, of course, he's not evil magic. No, he is science harness for the good of mankind, and since you checked the hat, would you like to give him a little stroke? Ah! Devil bunny. Oh, back over here now. Always walking uphill. Right, you go there, killer bunny. Oh, hello. I want to introduce you to Annie. It's not a real human skull. I'm sure it's no surprise, but I've got a 3D printer. I've just built another one, in fact. And she's called Annie, which has got nothing to do with the fact that it's my mother-in-law's name. Nothing! And I printed her, and she took about 30 hours for the main skull, pretty good. And I've articulated her, so I can use as a ventriloquist dummy. Hello. Are you well? Do you want to go to party later? No, I hate parties. Why? Because I've got nobody to go with. Oh, come on! And I put some electronics in, so let's have a look. Oh, you don't like this one. This is a new circuit I put in this one, and she's going to copy me. This is a new circuit I put in this one. And it's rubbish! Oh, you're going to do it again now. Come on, let's do the proper one, shall we? Are you having a nice time? Oh, you're going to do it again now. Are you having a nice time? Good. Do you want to go back in your box? No. That was fun. And you can obviously introduce her to people while you go, hello. Oh, she likes it. Doesn't like everybody. Do something else? Oh, that's better. All right, you go on there. Nothing. Oh, don't fall over. That's all we need. Right. They've got the same central nervous system, so they do talk to each other. For my next trick, I'm going to use this beautiful yet strange and expensive glass of water on top, which I'm going to place this beautiful yet strange and expensive postcard. This beautiful yet strange and inexpensive things on top, which I'm going to place three of these beautiful yet strange and inexpensive eggy wiggies. Yeah. The idea of this trick is using not one, not two, but all three of Newton's laws of motion. I will pull the postcard and the egg should fall unbroken into the glass. That's the idea. I used to do this with one egg, but it always worked. So then I started doing it with three eggs. It doesn't always work. It doesn't always work. I find the stress terrible. I'll just quickly show you something else first. Chill out. Where's he gone? Where's he gone? I've got to pick something up. I need... What am I looking for? Come on. There you come. Not on that one. For my next trick, I'm going to use this. If I can find a decent one, good grief. Where are they all gone? For my next trick, I'm going to use this for my next trick. They all work by electricity. Electricity is the nearest thing I know to real magic. For I do anything with electricity, I need to give you my standard safety warning. Don't plug yourself in. The electricity going through the lights in here, there's easily enough to kill everybody in the room. But it's all right with you. I'm not going to prove. So obviously you'd all be dead. I'd have to leave the country again in a hurry again. Very embarrassing. I'm sure I don't need to explain to you what I mean that would be stupid. You can do it by rubbing on your hair, you can even do it by rubbing on a cat, but they really don't like it. I'm going to do it by rubbing it with this cloth. Now, hopefully, the cloth is taking some electricity off the balloon so the balloon hasn't quite got enough and with a bit of luck it will stick to my doodah. I'm going to stick. There are two explanations why it sticks. First, the sciency one. I have removed electricity from it so it hasn't quite got enough. It is trying to get electricity off the screen. It's being held up by a little fairy. You can believe that if you like. Oh, still alive, good. This is not a lightsaber. It's a bit of plastic. But when I rub this with the same cloth, this actually gets a bit too much electricity. The balloon hasn't quite got enough. So with a bit of luck, I now have a bit too much, not quite enough, not quite enough, a bit too much. Bring them together and hopefully something interesting will happen. Not pop, float. So the balloon is being attracted to the rod. The balloon's going, Oh, you are an attractive rod. Oh, Roddy, I think you're lovely. Give us a kiss. In theory, with enough electricity, you could make people float around the room. Slight problem, they would explode. It would look good though, wouldn't it? Everybody go, look at that, it's floating around the room. Bang! That was a bit of me hair. Right, you go down there. It's a Victorian invention called a Whimshurst machine. Hopefully if I turn it on, turn the handle, it makes lightning. Now, you're thinking, is he going to put his finger in there? And the answer is no. He doesn't like pain. Now, for the next bit, you're going to have to excuse me, I'm going to be kind to the BAV people. I'm going to take my microphone off because there's just a slight chance they're going to rely on shouting. Why is he going like that? Why are you going like that? Okay. You heard him. You can't sue. This is a Van der Graaf generator. Lots of schools have got these. Normally they're small and they're rubbish and they don't work very well. This is the third largest one I've ever seen and it's mine. Big rubber band goes round and round. Driven by an electric motor, this one, you don't need an electric motor. You could make one of these powered by a hamster wheel. It would still work. This bit is insulated so I won't get a shock but with a bit of luck we should get some interesting sparks. What's my heart? Now, you might think, sparks, can you do anything else? Yes, you can. All right boys. This is Snakey, the electric snake. Look, he wants to play so I can let him. Snakey, follow the rod. Follow the rod. Attack the rod. Now, Snakey doesn't care if it's the rod on my hand. He will go for the nearest thing so if I'm careful I should be able to get him to follow my hand. Now, it's normally about now when some kind person in the audience goes, What happens if you touch it? Would you like to see what happens? Okay. If you're ever worried about getting an electric shock an old electrician's trick is to put your other hand in your pocket so the electricity will not cross your heart. It's still going to hurt, but it probably won't kill you. This is high voltage low current which is why I can do this. It's probably a bit sweaty in here and my hands are going to work terribly well. My elbow normally should work better. Come on, bite me. And now on a good day I can get a lot bigger sparks than that. You'll probably think, does it hurt? I don't know, I can't tell anymore. It's the only fun I get these days. High voltage electricity and beer. I don't know. If this was mains electricity, my arm would be on fire. Be good from your point of view, doesn't it? Oh, that was so funny. Ready to set fire to himself. If I put my hand on, I am charging up but it's going really quick. This, this, come on, here you come. Where's your other end? This is squidy, the electric squid. Ah. I can't see what I'm doing. All right, not you then. Let's try this one. Come on, squidy. These people have got things to do. They don't want to hang around for you. Squidy, rise. Is that it? Rubbish! Call yourself a tissue paper lifer. Oh my word, it's falling apart. I just pulled his leg off. Let's try that again, shall we, squidy? Attack! This is an ostrich feather. I'm not sure this is going to work in here. Oh. No, you're charging up. No, on a good day, you can get them to fly but you're not going to do it. No, it's your rubbish. This, come on, here you come. This is a bit of loo roll in short supply at festivals. With these, that's very handy for your Jedi training. You can go, use the force. Back to me, back to me. If your loo roll ever attacks you, run around screaming. These, don't find them. These are pythons. No, I did not eat all the pies. You can get them empty. But I'd like to do for you attack of the flying saucers. Oh no, here come the flying saucers. Sadly, I am no longer allowed to electrocute living human beings. Sorry, but no. However, I have got with me my beautiful assistant. I have stunt Barbie. Dancing hair. See her hair, see my finger. That's the electricity going through space between me and Barbie. Which we're not going to think about. That's the Tesla... That is a Vandegraaf generator. I have got a Tesla coil with me. It's only a little one, but it is cute. Of course, Tesla was the greatest inventor. Much better than Edison. Wasn't he? This is a cute little one. This one produces about a million volts worth of electricity, turning off about 300,000 times a second. So I feel like to show you what that looks like. So, turn that on. What's happened? Can you believe it? A battery's gone. That's not going to work, is it, done? Oh, there we go. Amazing. Hit things. So, a million volts turning off 300,000 times a second looks roughly like this. See if you recognise this one. Four seconds late. One, two, three. Oh, only Seth can do that particular trick. And in case you're wondering, it is a light bulb. And this is a kit. You could get one of these and build it. And then you could absolutely terrify your cat. Well, I wonder how I'm doing for time. Right, I better do this thing. But first this. I am not trying to hypnotise you. I do not want you to spend all your money in a big pile by the door. No. I want you to stare into the heart of the 20-word sort of doom. This in effect, well, you might start to see colours. Red, green, blue. Then again, you might not. If you're thinking of looking away, don't. Because by now, your brain should be about cooked. So... So, look at my head. Look at that. This is an effect called the waterfall effect, and it was noticed by an artist who spent hours looking at a waterfall when he could have been doing something useful. But when he looked away, it looked like everything was going up. It is caused by the 100 billion brain cells in your head being very clever, but ever so lazy. This time, don't look at me. This time, look at the person next to you. I've overrun, so I'm not in a hurry. Okay. I can tell you a lot of interesting places to go to, and frankly, I could do with a bit. So, I will finish the trick. Okay? One. No one's going to count. All right, it's my turn. I can't do the count. I don't care anyway. Two. Three. Four. One. All right, I will carry on. Okay. Don't blink. You might miss it. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. I wish all my audiences were as lovely as you, but on behalf of myself, I'm going to be done. My duck, my bunny, my snake, my squid, my cat, my skull, and the beautiful Barbie. Thank you very much, Felicity. Thank you. I've got to put it all away now.