 YouTubing there. Oh, yeah, I should write a book tubing Your turn You wouldn't open? Mm-hmm. Oh, you've been learning some more German. I see very good. Thank you Well, I mean your lessons have been very very strong. I even know that uh Thank you. It was it was it written a hundred years ago. They invented it was pretty cool. Yeah newest language that's caught on there's a couple there's a whole country with them Yeah, exactly when I was born. It's crazy. Mm-hmm hundred years ago That's when I was born Things were just things were just better movies were better a hundred years ago. I would say Only three Indiana Jones movies a hundred years ago. There's no women talking in them. That was for sure. Oh my god Yeah, well, you know rules change laws change continental drift, you know We got What does that even mean how does that things in the sky? I don't understand I was just sitting. It was like, yeah, sure Continental drift between the United States in Europe has been 500 meters in 10,000 years. Yeah, it's about an inch a year Isn't it? Yeah, he wouldn't factor it in so In general area, you know, I think he would have been fine. Oh Alrighty then Totally pointless film, but we'll get into that. What film are you even what? Who knows what we're talking about today. It could be anything, right? It's not in the Tyler Could be the one I'm recording a review for right now Everyone's talking about that will be forgotten bought three days four days Oh Monday or Tuesday and but the good news is nobody's talking about the witcher. So Oh shit, that starts it again. I completely forgot Cuz Netflix is the whole season out or is like a portion of it out five episodes and it's It's bad It is so bad Well, don't worry about it. I'm sure that that shows got long legs They're gonna keep it going forever and I don't love it Think it'll be forgotten before Indiana Jones because no one will remember it I saw a tweet that said Liam Hemsworth is getting him into the law like reading the books and getting ready for the role So that's what I'll say like oh shit. I hope he doesn't become passionate about it that they just boom anyway Yeah, you might want to stop doing that right now Yeah, why why be invested in the source? It's not a good idea man over anything or not cringe Um, when did when did Indy become scared of bugs and spiders? I don't remember feels I thought that was gonna be the joke in that scene by the way that she would freak out And he'd be like it's just a bunch of bugs like, you know something like that, but now even he was like He has a fear of CGI bugs, okay Okay, that makes more sense Anyway, yeah, I mean I love how we just sort of already talking about it Let's let's try and get some structure here people gosh. Also. Yes. I'll acknowledge rags is Unavailable little dog goes on a little haul though Which you know, I think he would have loved to have talked about this cuz he's gonna fucking hate dial a destiny when he watches it I asked you how a dog takes a vacation. I don't know if you guys have them in your countries, but we have Puppy daycare now. Oh Maybe he's one of those here of those Mmm, I'll be weak here. Well, yeah, yeah, he's yeah, he's not out of the the doggy daycare yet So once he's back, I'm sure he'll let us know when he catch it's up and watches the Rags got sent to the farm. He's okay. He'll be back It looks slightly different and look a lot younger too, but that's fine. It's the same dog. Oh geez I've teach him the same tricks. He's just forgotten. You ever you ever read where the red fern grows? That's where he's gone. Oh my god Okay, so the way we usually do this and it feels suitable here is Do a brief I say brief, you know what just just for as long as you want summarize your overall thoughts on the film What direction should we go? We'll go but maybe backwards and you haven't done backwards in a while a little platoon. Do you want to go first? Oh God, do I want to go first? You are why well I try and I'd usually you'll try and steer away from the it didn't need to be made argument because though It's everyone's it's everyone says it it's also true But you know lots of things that don't need to be made can accidentally turn out good It's just that this isn't one of them. So really, you know, it didn't need Everything about it is designed to be hard to hark back to the originals, but then in completely the opposite way So you've got plenty of member berries But then completely undercut by the fact that the main character is just this husk who's been defeated by the world It's another old mainstay hero who has to be reduced before he can be rebuilt and he isn't even really rebuilt in this He's just twatted in the face It's it's just quite a depressing film. I was more annoyed by Crystal Skull, but I think Crystal Skull is a better film this one is just miserable and depressing and baffling and nonsensical and It's gonna take me quite a while to actually get a script through with this one because it's got time traveled in it again And of course it makes no damn sense. Yeah, this could be a long string. Who knows Call the notes ready It needed us to be seen All right explain Gary you're up next. What did you think overall of this wonderful adventure? It was an Indiana Jones made by the people who made the last Jedi for the people who liked the last Jedi Oh that explains a lot formula complete Good night. Well, hey, I mean, yeah, okay Cuz I get more into it if you want to whatever you want to I will I will All right, Mel. What have you got? Oh, okay? So this is one of these movies that just actively drains the energy out of you while you watch it You just sit there and it's like, okay. Yeah I was like, oh fuck. That's over an hour left. Jesus fucking Christ And then you just watch it and watch it It's this is one of these movies where it's like and then this happened and then and then and there's like Oh, you're here now, too. And then this and then oh time travel. Oh, thank fuck We have some more time travel movies. Yes Very excited about time travel these days. You can't tell I Think there were jokes in there Probably, I don't know I don't believe you. I mean does it I say allegedly The evidence on that we'll see if it's true. Okay. Okay. People can open their case to me Answer in two to three work days. I have actually seen some evidence that one or two people laughed in one cinema somewhere in the world But one or two of them and not maybe they went it maybe they went insane It wasn't a very definite assured laugh either I think it was more of a is this is this supposed to be funny Do they put in a different Indiana Jones movie? Maybe play the wrong maybe thinking of happy memories. Yeah If you watch the the old Indiana Jones movies one two and three, you always have like the sense of adventure and say Yeah, this is some fun stuff. And this is like Not that I don't know. It's just it's just miserable. I hate it. That's the key. It's one of it's one of those movies That once you make to you to stop watch movies Yeah All right What is I guess oh gosh because I feel like I might end up just saying the same thing I think I said on open bar for my intro, but Um, what is with the whole like if a character is above age 45 then he wants to die There's like nothing else they have ideas for Because um from what I've understood james mangled came to this project when action had already been like settled Which is something common now for like old movies. Anyway, at least of this budget And he said he like there's some quote where he's like I wanted to make this about something And you know, I decided to make it about time and how you know indy's getting on and the world's leaving behind Just like why you didn't have to you could have made any story you wanted But you went with the one that ever fucking goes with bad's old wants to die That's what old people do So yeah, uh that is that idea is fucking Stretched across this whole movie and it's it's in all pieces of dialogue and set pieces and uh as was said miserable I know it sounds weird to use this word But the one I really really feel for this film is lame And I don't mean it in the way that we always sort of use lame to mean like oh, that's that's crap or bad Or whatever. I mean like it's it's like a as people would often use it in this original definition, right? It means like um something that doesn't work and it's just sort of old and fucked and it's just sort of there It's lame. It's it's a bit wonky. It's just the whole thing nothing quite ever works. There's actually A few details throughout that I would probably lean some compliments to but I think a lot of them are accidents And a lot of it is just like well, you know, how would they fuck that up? And it's like no, I know people have been fucking some some storytelling things up for so long now that seeing something done Right is almost congratulatory even though it's like some of the most obvious shit for example Seeing a dead person and saying wow. It's bad that that person is dead Like I almost feel like I should let the film knows like I'm glad you did that It's like it's not normal. It's like I should be but you know, um, but yeah Fast majority the funny part is I say I've got compliments for it. Um, the most complimented stuff in this film that I've seen on the internet I don't like so I mean, I hope and we can get some interesting conversations going rewatched the Three indiana jones films and that weird one that spielberg made with lucas later that uh, south park already Eviscerated but it's so weird to think that that's old as fuck compared to this And and and it's like a new era that we we've gone through like the He's already been tarnished. It's like to do it again just to make sure he's still alive So we can keep going that it's like, yeah, we'll probably do it after he's dead as well because that's We kind of got the trappings of that at the beginning of this film So that's what we're here to discuss In extensive detail and it was sad The whole thing for me was sad, especially after having watched uh, I've said before last crusade is is my favorite of the Set I adore that movie and this is feels like the opposite of that It's the complete reverse in terms of how it makes you feel But I'll stop there because we've got plenty of hours to go John, what did you think? Uh, I thought it was a bit pooey I looked at my phone a lot Throughout the whole thing I went in with high hopes I mean, I don't really have faith in any disney projects these days, but I like james mangled I like copland. I like just 310 to yuma remake logon 4v ferrari. I thought those were all great um, so Uh, I was like, hey Maybe it'll it'll be at least interesting This is what I thought initially it would be interesting to see how he handles a disney project like this and I was very underwhelmed disappointed um Uh, dji too much of it um None of the action sequences felt um compelling or perilous Uh felt very formulaic and um I laughed near the end but for Totally the wrong reasons and uh yeah Credits rolled and I went well That felt like a waste of time and now I go home Yes, that's that Not a great experience unfortunately And fringy. What did you think? uh It's this film doesn't need to exist and it reflects and like what the film is It feels like this really directionless idealist Vacuous product as opposed to a film Um bearing all of the standard writing problems standard plot and character problems But I mean it was just like a pretty miserable experience. It's just like lame to watch This movie sort of shuffle forward It just sort of I just sort of come to this, uh sort of uh Like this end It's just a really it's it's it sucks Yeah, it sucks. Um, that's about it Well, so we've got plenty of diverse opinions here. Plenty of people who both Enjoy it and didn't enjoy it. I'm glad of that um There's an overarching irony with it though Which is that and if you often see this in in these bigger remakes Jurassic world dominion did it as well when you this incredibly Lucretively like studio backed film comes out and complains about evil big corporations just extracting profit with no soul Um, but the the whole thing about indiana jones the whole point of his line You know it belongs in a museum is that old things are old things They are in the past. There's a difference between past and the present You should leave old things in the past and just appreciate them for what they were And the nazis the people he's always against are the ones who try and Prevert old things and bring them back to the new they have to open the arc They have to do it again. There must be a modern material value to it And that's kind of what this film is this film is This film is the opening of the arc This is the people who cannot allow indiana jones just to be this museum radic piece, which everyone loves and enjoys They have to just bring it back and do it again Something new something more something modern with it And it's just I think that's the most depressing thing of all because of all the characters that Really embodies that that sense of the importance of history in the past then indiana jones is the one That's his whole guiding motive and yet here the studio is Insisting that no no the arc must be opened once again and though all of our faces melt as a result Yeah, there's a lot of unintentional like Medicines in this including toby jones saying something should stay buried in the beginning When they find that all the artifacts are fake in the train. I'm like, yeah, just like this movie It's you know, it's it was weird that that message was throughout it Uh And and on top of that I honestly think an intention I haven't seen explicitly from him, but the intention seems to be that You know like with logan um a lot of people say that logan part of the point logan's making is that you have this refurbish new Uh wolverine coming in but he has none of the heart and soul right like almost in universe That's what that creature is and it's a monster basically and that wolverine logan himself is a lot more than just the Muscley man with claws and it's like, yeah, okay I could see how you could definitely grab that and the You know wolverine without that is is a is a monster blah blah blah I think he was trying to do something in this film where I think mangled would argue like yeah Anybody who thinks indiana jones is a some historical relic that we can move on from would be wrong There's plenty that he has to give there's plenty we have to gain from I don't know Enjoying his adventures like it's like some kind of metal line like that but I was just like fucking hell How did you make this film if you thought that? Right this film constantly fucking makes fun of him and puts him in situations that he can't deal with because he's too old And then constantly references that he's so fucking old. It's like yeah, but I said at the end that he's needed like oh Oh, you didn't give me that implication for us all of the movie And he doesn't even realize that himself. He doesn't actually have a character arc in that direction. That's not on them It's lame. Please let me die It's like lame is a fantastic description because it is like, you know If you're watching a horse race or something and the young horses their first race and you think well, this is it's challenging But look at them fly over the hurdles. They're so athletic And then one of them stumbles or falls and breaks its leg and limps off and you think well That yeah, that is a lame old dead horse and it's only going in one direction And that is the glue factory and that is like watching indiana jones You used to think oh my god is india gonna get shot by nazis Is his head gonna get crushed by the rock and now it's oh, can he make it up those stairs? Please don't fall india. If you fall, you might not get Don't break into your gradual and they get your wheelchair I don't know. There's like legit a scene for that like they're climbing the average rock face. It's like, oh, you've stopped Oh, look at you He's like, yeah, I'm old Yes We're close to parody like why why are we doing this? um So yeah, I figure the uh, you know go nuts with whatever thoughts you may have we'll try and go chronologically, but I don't blame anybody for jumping ahead as usual um There's a on the on the point of it like Things getting on things getting old the opening of the film has a ticking Sound it doesn't relate to like a clock in in universe or anything I think the ticking stops for the time the film starts up and I was like, of course You can argue that relates to the fact that this film is largely about time travel It's gonna make a lot of points about time like mangled said but to me it just felt like Time's running out old dude Fuck off basically I'm to die Yeah, it feels that way time to die Yep, which um, dare I even list How we're doing in that department because it evokes james bond to be straight away like it's time to die like oh, yeah Don't forget luke. Don't forget hard Don't forget. It's like just stop. There's no point. Don't need to open that chest right now But uh, yeah, we're in a flashback. That's how it starts up and this flashback is quite favored I found across the internet most people seem to think that this is the part of the film That's actually pretty solid pretty good man. Let's filled with like contrivances and bullshit I think so. Yeah. I think it's crap. Um, and I I guess I was one of the only people who's uh, relatively distracted by the The young shit and I think it's Half and half whether or not it's like there are shots where it looks really good But there are also shots like when he's falling or taking the noose off his neck or when he's in water That was the worst of it And I think they blur him on purpose and keep him in the background because they couldn't quite know it I felt sometimes it looked like the I know the capture couldn't quite Keep up with the movements, you know, look like kind of wobbly When he smiles and looks straight at the camera, it's okay, but when he's rushing around in an action seat It starts to go Yeah Mm-hmm, but the Main thing they do with it as well because the carousel forward especially as indiana jones has Relatively few facial expressions, but they are so well known because they are that they're always Extracted for maximum effect So everybody knows what the face is supposed to do and then you see the cgi version do it and it's it's it's like It's not quite there Sometimes it's closer than others, but there are others when I think I know what face that is supposed to be deployed in this Scene and it's it's that's not it. That's just rubber Um, but there is but then you know, it's probably seven years out from rogue one and if you compare talking to this This is light years ahead. Yeah, no, they they're getting closer and closer to nailing this forever and it's Well, it's pandora's box, isn't it now that this is available. Oh god. We can like we can just keep actually like much more closely Trying to recreate old stuff well and Something else that I think a lot of people to kind of agree on this And it's certainly the thing that pulled me out first was there's some dialogue back and forth between him and Strucker is in this the at least I don't know the actor's name, but he played strucker in the mcu evil German man doing evil things. He does a really great job of it. I think he's done it many many times whatever they hired him good stuff and he's like Uh, you know, you're alone and then he's like I like to be alone He's like, why are you here and he goes you got a lot of stuff other people stuff And I was like Fuck me dude. Could you sound like you in your 40s? Just a little bit Yeah, he looks like a 40 year old and sounds like a 40 year old 80 year old And I know a lot of people are complimenting the first 20 minutes and I'll just play a little devil's advocate I would call it tolerable But that's in comparison to the entire movie that I had to watch that I didn't want to and it didn't feature Phoebe Waller bridge. That's true. So I'm Probably why people we call Toby Jones and he's fun Yeah, he's fun Completely misused shaky camera everything's dark Bad Spielberg impression. They even try he even tried a Spielberg zoom a couple of times. It's just like, oh, don't don't do it Yeah We're gonna say they're ringing Oh, I was just gonna I don't know. I mean, I guess I understand the sentiment But like when the the the AA gun exploded flipped around and started shooting all of the gems on the train like It's just lined up neatly And it's like and the first one is gone a second and then the and then it just all Shot down. It's like, oh, that was handy and then you see It's so fucking right after you see the ammo run out. Yeah, it runs out right as they go in across When they walk past it's like, oh There's like a lot of that kind of shit in the film Like in that opening sequence of things just lining up just right for indeed to like pull through Yeah, most of it isn't to do with his choices. Most of it is to do with the world allowing things to happen Yeah, pretty much like that things pan out in the way that he never could have predicted and that he had no influence over And they just keep bailing him out. I mean the first and foremost is he is captured and they're like he's alone It's like, yeah, and then he's like, okay, go and take him up this tower and hang him It's like maybe just execute him here and now No, no, it's the doctor evil thing No, I want him to experience an elaborate and exotic death that I'll assume everything went to plan But like whatever I guess compare it's well received by comparison though because At least by the comparison with the rest of the film this the opening is trying to do an Indiana jones style thing It's it's bollocks. It doesn't work. And as you say, it's all full of contravences, but And it almost it's almost laughable how many things that you've seen before they try to cram in so he you know He's on the search for this ancient religious relic macguffin Um, he's got the the old British professor sidekick with him. There's fights on motorbikes There's fights on moving trains as the shots where he's dragged off the edge And he's gonna is he gonna get smashed by the rock? Oh, no, he gets up just in time So it's doing all of these indiana jones bits to it and even if that is just this completely empty simulacra Which I think it is compared to what comes after it It at least seems like it kind of understands why people liked the old-timey stuff Whereas the rest of the film is just you think that's better or worse Knowing that they're like this is what you want really, isn't it? And then they have like a pathetic attempt at it and then they're like anyway over to this stuff You're like, what is this? What are you doing now? And it's like this for the next two hours You know others have compared it. It's like an ai or even an algorithm wrote Trying to fit in an indiana jones movie before the indiana jones movie. Yeah, which just excessively long You're right. It hits all the all hallmarks. You might expect an ai to pick up instead of having the sort of heart and soul and creative drive to make a scene or a sequence of events But um, anyway, we get a slightly heavier. We should probably give more context There's plenty of people in chat have never even seen it those poor buggers. He's dragged off Oh, yeah, they they found the spear of destiny. That's what this scene is about quote-unquote until we realize It's about a little bit something else as soon as it goes on But for now the Germans have the spear of destiny quote-unquote and you're like, oh my god Oh, nine What's that gonna do? What's that gonna mean? It's like oh, well and indies dragged off ran up a tower and then set to hang and and everyone's watching him get hanged until And I really do think like I know that indy gets lucky But this was this was pushing it for me already in like minutes in The u.s. Drop a bomb on Exactly where he is it crashes through the ceiling and hits the floor does not detonate. They're lucky But it it is live. It's not a dud and it hits the floor and it starts to like go through it really slowly Everyone's panicking looking at it all the Germans and indy it Somehow like goes right through and it goes through each of the floors until it hits the bottom Explodes and destroys all of the floor. So all the Germans fall down and die, but indy's okay Yeah, he's not even hit by shrapnel or anything. He's just like, ah, that sucks Well, because you know, this is right at the beginning. I was like seriously Failed even being five minutes and it's already just like nuts It and someone might be like, yeah, well, it's not worse in the fridge. It's like, okay, that's a high bar to clear Yeah Yeah, we shouldn't really treat it that way. I think I think what bothers me about a lot of the luck in the action scenes And this is the as I was kind of alluding to earlier None of it how he escapes them has nothing to do with him really ever It's always just like oh lucky someone dropped a bomb on you like Yeah, I mean I guess so At least at least he thought of the idea of getting in the fridge. That was something he committed to yeah I remember the luck elements feeling a bit more earned in past movies Oh, yeah, you know in last last crusade where he's hanging off that tank barrel He's about to be like Driven into that solid wall and then there's like a bullet ricochet or something and the the driver dies And he falls over the lever and then he turns it at the last second It's a fight inside the tank between, you know, the people in there the dad and brody And it's like it's at least as a result of the fight, you know Something happens in there that moves the tank controls Like that's way more cause and effect than something like Like I said, it's I find it hard to describe some of the things that happen in this film to a to an audience As a result of the Americans trying to land a bomb on indy's head. His life is saved from being hanged Yeah, not on purpose obviously Like none of this is on purpose All almost if not all the luck scenes in this movie. I was like, oh, come on really Okay um, so yeah, uh basal is the British professor man who's with him like I said toby jones playing him. He's captured too and um He's like taking on because they're gonna try and question him to figure out what's going on with with indy. Why is he here and why? Why is everything going on whatever it like I said it was said it feels like it's evoking Just that's the that's an event that happens in indy films a lot that he gets captured His friends get captured then they get uncaptured escaping, you know, this is just something that's happening um This is a fucking weird part That they want to create this scenario where indy gets into like a german vehicle And puts on the helmet and he has the uniform and then germans get in the back waiting to be driven somewhere It's like oh, that's that's all good and funny. It's like how do we start this? Well, he just walks up to a car knocks on it the the window comes down He punches the soldier opens the door drags his body out gets in and there's just a bunch of germans around Like they're all just standing around Yeah, remember that nobody reacts at all Between five and ten you can just see in the background doing stuff And I was like, oh, okay. I get that like he's not known as the most stealthiest guy, but that was just funny like You just and they all climb into the car and it's like you're gonna have to walk past the body on the floor Well, I guess that's got nothing to do with anything because that was done in an old indiana joins film He goes undercover. He's in disguise. So it's happened before it must happen this time That's basically the reason also we need to manufacture some kind of pretext for a motorbike chase That has to happen because that also happened before but If I am right, I can't remember this scene very clearly Isn't the train still in station because he's trying to get on this train I think the train's still there And I was wondering why he didn't just go straight for the train rather than get into a car to drive alongside the Moving train to jump onto the train while it's moving. You're right. The train is not left yet It feels like that might be the editor's fault Because I don't know because you're right. It indeed needs to get onto the train. That's why he's getting into the car It's like why would he get into the car if the train is in like it's meters away from him stationary The smart thing for him to do would be to get on you know So, yeah, I don't know if that was because The things were ill timed although they uh, I really can't think of why you'd get into that car when his only goal is to get onto the train Maybe there's a line where he finds out because he wants to get the spirit destiny back, right? That's his goal right now Yes, because he doesn't realize it's a fake Which uh, he and the evilman's realize soon Anyway, yeah car chase, um I don't know. What did everyone think of it? Like the first action set piece Uh I mean, I thought the whole opening scene was like Like shot probably storyboarded and edited well enough, but like it all felt fake Like anytime there's vehicle carnage Like, uh, you know the guy on that the side compartment on the motorbike gets smashed against the tree or shit like that It's just it's like oh, that's CGI whatever You know i've been spoiled by movies like mission impossible for us. Yeah. Oh shit. They actually did that like that's spoiled by movies like indiana jones That too. Yeah, there's some great stunt work in those old movies Yeah, doesn't he jump onto one of those bikes at some point and then it just gets cut in half Without him being affected at all or something else The physics just stops working. Um, yeah, those things are connected It can't just like tear it off with no effect to the driver of the bike and he crashes it into a tree And and it just comes off. It doesn't wrap him around the tree, which is what would happen Yeah So this is what I mean is just like oh that That's lucky that it worked out that way It's like maybe could have just punched him, but I guess they wanted something cooler than that Right. It's like look at that. He drove him into a tree. How fucking cool is that? Yeah, I guess so Um, and yeah, the they've got his effects in the in the room as well the bad guys They put the the whip in the hat of the table and you just hear the soundtrack and you're just like It's about the only thing you remember from the soundtrack that the soundtrack and this is Quite weak overall. Also, you can barely hear it because the sound mixing is terrible Um, I felt bad because I didn't realize John Williams had done it and then I saw like, oh okay He's he's been out of that that period of his career for such a long time that you can't really do Indiana Jones style Fight music, I guess if he's been doing Shostakovich stuff rages It's he's in a much more mellow phase And so he doesn't really jump out above the action sequences Also, the sound editing doesn't let him jump out above the action sequences But with the exception of the one or two moments when that theme comes in I cannot remember a single piece of the soundtrack Which is kind of depressing in its own right because it's John Williams and you should be able to remember more than that Yeah, yeah, that's weird because I thought um the the theme that he wrote for Kenobi I thought was quite good like just the music theme of that show. I thought was nice And and I remember thinking like oh, he's old, but like he still got it He's still got that magic, but here it was really unremarkable You know And just a lot of reusing right which is easy to notice So then indy enters He's gotten to the back of the train as a result of that little action scene And he's he's going through the carriages and he's stolen uniform and It's really odd because he's stolen one that has a bullet wound Looks like shot through the heart sort of thing And I was like, well, that's not gonna work Like I saw it when he was walking toward them. There's the huge you could see it on the uniform I was like That they not noticing that that seems like something that they would pick up But okay, and then there's a payoff later where they notice that um, and so I was just like what You know, I mean like Pick one or the other you kind of both like why is it that they would take that long to notice a bullet They notice it in his back. They don't notice it at the front, which I don't know Sure, I guess he's just lucked out so that he uh, he does manage to get the spear of destiny, but he realizes It's fake I'm not sure what Is the is the jacket bullet hole thing something they use in solo as well. Is that how they figure out? That sounds familiar actually Is it um It's not it's no, it's not harrison. Well, it's not um aranarum. Right golden. It's not han solo It's um, it's what oh what the hell is his name the um the double crosser at the end This is how much I remember about solar the double crosser at the end Yeah, what are you? By the way, they all do a double cross at the end except solo basically But I think that's how they figure out that he's not actually a military like an imperial officer, isn't it? Because he has a bullet wound through his jacket. I think you're right. I can't remember from the best So those are hard to remember it has Darth Maul in it. That's cool. Oh, so cool. What do you like his lightsaber? That lightsaber is getting turned on was so awesome. Yeah Incredible that that part was oh that broke the internet. That was so good So, uh, yeah, he he locks the door behind him and I thought it was kind of odd because it was like if it's a basic lock That's one shot from the mp40s I think they have that would definitely broke broke that door open But he gets a good like few minutes to inspect that spear and I was like, all right They break in way later, and I don't think it's from a gunshot. I don't even know what they did But they eventually get through Oh, they don't use their guns when they fight against indy don't worry Then blocked off not a lot. Well, there is one time he doesn't get shot in this movie. You know, you wouldn't have known it from the consequences I mean in this scene specifically when they're on on top of the train I was like shoot him. Oh, right. Yeah, that's hello. It's like no, okay. There's a particular detail about that That's particularly funny, but uh, Yeah, um Is it a 1v1? so Yeah, of course, uh, he's moving through and realizing like a lot of this stuff is real A lot of this stuff isn't the dial the dial isn't something he cares about yet. It's something that Um, the new a new character called vola. I forget his first name, but um, you're gonna He's um He's our evil german scientist for the film and unfortunately his personality does not go beyond that He's got one of the worst villain introductions I can think of in Like certainly in recent films at no point Is he ever conveyed as being competent or threatening or dangerous? Nope. Um His first scene he gets knocked out in one punch It's just uh, it's such a waste maz michelson is wasted so often and he plays hannibal in basically every role He's in these days, but he's still good. It's a shame. He's not getting very good parts The thing that baffles me about this one at least in rogue one and in dr. Strange I think his total screen time with both of them put together is something like fucking eight minutes It's ridiculously small. So at least, uh, you know, we don't get much of him But so the the wasting of him is at least like it's not much he could do but he's in a lot of this movie He's a lot of scenes a lot of interactions with a lot of characters and each time you just you don't feel much Just like yeah, he's just a bad guy. That's basically as far as we're ever gonna go I feel like um, all of the bad guys from previous Indiana Jones installments have had way more of a fact even the goofy cape blanchett thing Whatever that was the russians I uh, the more impact is made he sort of just slinks between scenes and he keeps losing like he just loses all the fucking time This is like, yeah, there he goes He's an idiot Yeah, he's an idiot about the entire film incompetent and an idiot But he's supposed to be you know order von brawn, you know this brilliant physicist and they just they kind of just drag him along And it's it's sad that this guy gets wasted so much I mean he might be a one-trick pony don't know haven't seen him in much else other than these small roles that he keeps getting cast in and just They're forgettable Oh, he's capable of a hell of a lot more. It's it's really unfair Uh Movie if you have not seen it. I think I want to say it was 20 Was it 2011 or 17? What was when was the hunt made not the stupid one? Bring it, you know I don't know Let me check Is an easy recommendation and he's amazing in that movie and he's not playing some crazy villain man 2012 that movie came out Go watch that if you want to see him in a completely different role and absolutely nailing it That's the kind of movie that gives you like full respect for an actor And then you should watch Hannibal the tv show. He's amazing in that too and then you're like, wow It's so cool. He's getting all of these roles. Then you're like, it's not cool. It's not even close to cool Oh It's actually very lame So, uh, they start chasing indie through the tranks. He's discovered and uh, there's if you think about it Like he's carriage one is a bunch of germans carriage two is him Carriage three is the next one he used to go to and carriage four is where all the villains are I was like, so what's he gonna do? Was it? Well, you know, what's the plan here? Is the alerts going on? He's he's gonna be tough He goes in and it's like, um, I don't know like a mess hall carriage Like it's a bunch of germans having food A kitchen sort of situation and luckily for him He can blend right in because he has the uniform and he can sit down And I was just thinking to myself like man, imagine that was another carriage with nobody in it You just would have been fucked that would have been it It's annoying as well because the the alarm goes off But apparently the alarm only informs people right at the front of the train Yeah, the front of the train come down the train they go past him They free the people he's trapped and then they point them back up the train the way they've come and said go find him So why aren't you alerting your own guards as you go? Your thing is alarm would go through the whole train because you know, it's an alarm They have a shot for it where a guy like pulls a lever and it's like a big red thing It's like burn and it's just like but nobody in the kitchen carriage knows anything. Why? Nope, we're hungry They don't even tell them as they're walking through the Nazi general walks all the way through the kitchen carriage And then we only see him later on coming back through the kitchen carriage telling people that there's an intruder And then they need to go and find him just do that on your way and you're fine But well, they're incompetent. That's why they lost the war but even then it's just irritating. It's so weird though Like we already have all these broad issues with why was this film even made and all this execution all their ideas Of what they want to do with the character, but even the simplest most basic Just stuff in the movies all fucked. It's like this is what I mean by I was watching this intro scene I was just like Fuck they can't even get anything this right which is weird because it's mangled and I thought that he made Movies that weren't cringe I mean, you know, I say that as if four v Ferrari isn't great. That's a fucking great movie What's going on? Why is this so crap? Anyway, all of the villains pile into that Kitchen one they they assume he's further along so they go past him because he's like Doing a hide and then he runs past them and locks the door behind him So now it's all the Germans have locked between two doors and then indy has got access to Toby Jones his kit and the The the doctor Mr. Mr. Vola is there as well. And that's what you see if you've seen the trailer That's where he just punches him out and that's that it's like, okay The isn't it sadder as well that they weren't there for the anti-kath era But they knock him out just as a casual thing and he drops it and it falls out of his bag And they're like, huh, maybe we'll just steal this too Sucks man Oh, well your whole plan is just thwarted because you dropped your little dial Indy, what about the spear? Oh, it's a fake. Ah, damn. Hey, what's that? Ah, take it with like, okay That's the mystical time travel dial. That's definitely real. We'll just nick that straight away off we go Um, so yeah loads of Germans chasing them is they start moving to the front of the train, I guess and uh They head toward and like an anti aircraft gun that's on the train and it's shooting Presumably at the british because they're the ones that take over this bridge at the end of this scene Which are even that annoys me because they blow up the bridge the train is going toward a bridge The train has anti aircraft turrets on it. It has to cross the bridge. The bridge isn't defended Wouldn't they just blow up the bridge and stop the train and then attack the train and then they're fine Yeah from the air the train is a pretty easy thing to attack he can only stay on the track and uh Nobody was worried on the train. They're sitting around. No, they didn't give a shit They were just like, well, whatever that's this is the crazy thing So for anyone who doesn't understand what's happening right now, the aircraft gun is just doing its thing Everyone's chill while the aircraft gun is like fighting a war outside It's just like okay It gets hit with a bomb or something like a the series of shells whatever it is And it fucks up the gun so much that it ends up shooting its entire like load throughout the train And it kills everyone except for indiana jones toby jones And vola and the strucker. They look the only people left Basically all the named characters and I don't even know the name of most of them It's uh, it's just funny like that means that they all would have been chilling out eat their food Do with their thing talking and that gun would have just slaughtered all of them yep And that would be the end because uh, I think the only ones that survive are through complete luck So it's very likely they would have died If india hadn't done anything Fucking bizarre scene And you know it's because like yeah, they can't get indy to kill all of these jibbers like you can You can just get him to take control of the anti-aircraft gun But okay That's what happens And then they keep on moving it looks like they get into the front of the train but strucker cuts them off And I was genuinely confused Yeah, you know this Villainess sort of intro and he's holding something I was like so that's a gun and how are you gonna make him miss I figure like oh the train hits something and he drops it or something hits him No, he's not holding a gun. He's holding the spear of destiny Yeah, why what are you doing? You want to go on one v one indiana jones with the ancient knife instead of your pistol that you have right now that he has If you just pull the gun out and show him it would be over. I thought it was so strange And he does pull the gun out doesn't he when they get into close range melee fighting range That's when he remembers he has a gun He pulls it out. That's the first and one of the only times indy uses the whip and because he uses the whip obviously we get Because it's Yeah, and uh, it just The fight goes on And we get a hilarious interaction with the gun falls out of both of their hands and toby jones gets it And he shoots one shot and it it's like indy's hand It like bounces off the train and into his hand or something and he's like don't shoot me Shoot him I think that's a joke right that counts Yeah, yeah Yeah, it was great Um, and then toby jones shoots evil jim and man and then he says to the victor go the spoils and kicks him off the train Oh, that's because the other guy said that earlier It's so cool Yeah, and then they jump off the train into the water and they've saved that oh wait. No, sorry. There's one part before Voila shows up and he's like give me my fucking dial The indy tosses him the bag that the dial was in We find out later Yes, it was clearly as possible right this train is going to A conservative gas of what like 40 miles per hour 50 maybe that's on the lower end I don't want to go too far With I don't know how fast trains typically go nor one at this time or what it's doing I don't know if it's in a rush or whatever, but it's not pretty it's a train It's going pretty fast. There's a joke in archer where um, he goes up to the top of the train And isn't it like he can barely breathe and see because the wind is going so fucking fast He's climbing up because he always wanted to fight on a train as soon as he gets up above like to get hip with the wind He loses his gun and gets bombarded in the face with like All the dust everything and then he puts on his little night vision binoculars And then when he goes up another train with its headlights on Seared like tuna steaks all I want is to fight on the top of a train It's basically the point is fighting on top of a train is not fun. It's just difficult In any case it's going fast and then um, all I can imagine is Describing this is the volas got the gun on him and he's expecting to get the dial Uh, a piece of metal. I forget what the thing itself is called But a piece of metal is coming and toby jones warns of it Indiana does a jump so he avoids it. It slams vola in the face Directly at full speed and he goes flinging off the train Yeah, he's He's not dead Yeah, I was so hard you would think at least he would be like disfigured I thought they're gonna go with james bond villains thing with him where you would have like half his face is all fucked up But nope. Yeah, you know jones is done that with a guy in raiders grabs the hot medallion And then he has the permanent scorch mark with the medallion is and it knows how to do slightly visceral like body shot car stuff, but nothing it's just He's been twatted at 60 miles an hour by a solid metal boom and he's gone flying off a train And no, it's fine. Is this thing where humans devised tools that can throw Hard objects at you really fast. It's designed to kill Oh James mangle directed the wolverine and you remember when they were fighting on top of that train and then Logan tricks the dude into jumping is that was that james mangle that did the wolverine? Yeah, he directed the wolverine So he knows when you get hit by that he knows the train's work It's it really hurts All the stuff on top of the train felt very unparalleled and fake like He needed to crank up the the fans that were blowing their clothes It looked like a mild breeze You know like it's that attitude that I know would be there if I asked mangled like why did he try to hit? Uh indy with the the ancient knife instead of his gun I picture he'd be like because it would be no fun if he just pulled the gun out and shot him I'd be like, yep, but yeah It's another example as well of the cgi and the de-aging I think really working against the film because when harrison forward is actually hanging off the side of a Hank, then there's always going to be that little bit of you that says yeah, that's really kind of dangerous He's actually doing that and that's that's impressive and perilous So you're automatically more sympathetic to the character and then you're more sort of tense about where that scene's going to go But given that he doesn't look real at all and you know, he's not really there and you know, none of it's happening His head dangles off the edge of a train and you think well, it's not really dangling off the edge of the train so Why why am I even also? It's the second time they use that shot in the space of five minutes Which is never a good idea because you should use those things airingly But it's just the whole unreality of the thing makes it weightless and basically pointless Yeah, and that that one wide shot where like he he first climbs to the top of the train He starts jumping over the carriages and it cuts to a wide and it does the music Like he looks like a cartoon Yes Founding from one carriage to another and that was like a face palm moment for me where I was like, Jesus Christ I'm we're I'm gonna get a lot more of this in this movie And I like this didn't look real at all this is gonna sound like a a nitpick was just more so Do you remember when he's putting on his like indianic jones costume? He like he like has old man putting on coat of body language and that's like impossible doc to see it He's like struggling to get the coat on properly. I was like, man It's supposed to be him at his prime But okay, because if you remember he one-handedly picks up toby jones off the chair to get him going And it's definitely a moment of like see this this ain't no fucking 2000 year old and it's like, yeah But he's probably on strings or he did it himself like it Right Unfortunately old people have a way of moving. Yeah all their limbs There's like a hesitation to everything because you don't want to put too much strain on your bones and your joints And you can't hide that with cb no matter how fucking does it later? It's it's the biden shuffle that he does which you know, he's really really old It's just yeah slightly the legs don't really have any flexibility and the back is very careful not to move too far Otherwise it'll throw a hip out. It's just yeah, you know, he's old even even when he's just doing mo cap stuff It's just that's an old person Yeah, yeah, I got vibes of like, you know watching the irishman, you know, we were there De Niro come off younger than he was if you always remember that scene outside the grocery store We stomping that guy and it's like he looks so old like he's looking like he's trying to hold himself together You know while he's doing this he's gonna fall apart at any minute first scene like that Get a get a fucking double and you'd be like what a double for to walk over and pretend to kick someone to the face like Yes, he is a million years old Like the old man doing it He's not gonna be an old man then yeah And uh, yeah, if you look at that clip on youtube all the comments are about how old he looks They're not about like the meeting in the scene or the character interaction It's so distracting how they move Yeah And fun, it's not just the body either like the limbs, but like it's in the face as well Like when I first saw Harrison's face his de-aged face like there's a because he's old There's a stiffness to his face. That's just There's a vigor to the way he like subtle ways Uh, his face moves that just aren't there anymore. Like if you compare You know as facial acting to the old movies like there's a youthfulness there There's a vibrance that no amount of CG can Recover favorite expression from him across whole series is in temple of doom when We are going to die And then he just makes a sad face It's so good Yeah So, uh, yeah, they take the dial home. That is the flashback Mm-hmm. It's terrible. It's pretty bad. It's it's 20 minutes long and it's awful And it's better than everything else Yeah, all downhill from here two hours to go two hours and 10 minutes to go Yeah, this uh, it's a long movie the old movies that they uh, they're like two hours long and they Don't waste your time at all. They're dense and every scene is purposeful and entertaining And now it's every why are they getting longer and like less substantial? Yeah, I don't know this this one to me. I know a lot of people Felt otherwise I've seen different like reviews and comments about it But like this one for me felt like they were padding like crazy like they just didn't know what to do with scenes Yeah, mm-hmm The problem as well is that everything all of that first 20 or so minutes is Basically one long consistent and continuous action scene and it's by far I think the longest of any introduction most of the indie films start with some form of action scene This is I think by far the longest one Um and you you start to lose The point and the purpose of an action scene if it just never stops the action is supposed to punctuate It's not supposed to be the default setting which very occasionally slows down for five seconds for characters To say two words to each other and then oh we're back to the action scene again And it's also it's probably that the least effective Well, it's a toss up between this and Crystal Scarlet's to which is the least effective introduction of the MacGuffin because In the original I think all of the original three films you have It opens with the search for a MacGuffin of a type, but that MacGuffin is not the MacGuffin of the film That MacGuffin is just this is the question. He's already on He's already done the work that's led him here And then we can go back to a much more slow civilized build up Usually in the university when that's when the plot is majorly introduced And then you get to see him begin the quest and the puzzle from the beginning again Whereas this one is just he's walking on he's gone for another MacGuffin Oh, he's luckily found the thing that the film is all going to be anchored around That's now done and the rest of it is not going to be the nice Classy glitzy glamorous 1920s 1930s set up in a posh university. It's going to be Miserable Everything about what comes next is just so depressing and and sad And I just think that this this is what I think people really mean when the film didn't need to be made because If you're going to do this with Indiana Jones, if you are going to reduce him to the status we're about to see him in then you've basically said Look, this guy who has been throughout your entire life this this pinnacle of both class and sophistication and also Action and and physical ability now. He's got none of those things and he is himself depressed What what are we even supposed to be aspiring to here? Like the point of Indiana Jones is that this is a character you want to embody This is someone that you really want to grow up to be like not someone that makes you fear growing up Which is now what he does So that's what I we always all talk about this scene in just a sec But you can guarantee they would tell you that all the things you're about to we're about to highlight about what's wrong With this is intentional. They'd be like, of course. That's the idea And we're going to subvert it as the film goes on in terms of like no just because he's old doesn't mean he's useless Doesn't mean he's a an artifact But it's just like We'll get to what your film has to say about this state of being but you did not have to make this the state of being Which to be honest with you I guess I completely forgot the trailer because this is shown at least partially in there But in the cinema when it's panning through his room and you can see like his uh sort of war related And and like religious lots of different things across his life across his desk is a picture of marion as well It's like, okay, then it pans You can see indy asleep in his recliner chair in his underpan. He said indy pants Watching tv in his room is a complete mess and It's such a fucking image. I don't I don't want in my head. It's like can you Can you know It wasn't me like oh for fuck's sake really It's like oh And normally that music plays and he wakes up and he does the old man like Oh god, what what's going on? Where am I? It's the only idea that you have for an old man that he's cranking why is that like the only conception that you have Because I mean it just proves lucas film hasn't learned a damn thing They've been doing it for 10 years now. I mean they they they didn't learn anything From the last Jedi didn't take any advice from the fans didn't care. They're completely disconnected and they're just making a product And that's all this is it's it's a product and thankfully it's going to cost them hundreds of millions of dollars This thing's like it I love how the flop was called for this so far before like any information come out about any audiences It's like you're done. You've killed it. It's over In in five minutes i'm going to get a little head, but we can backtrack is they uh We've got a sad empathetic possibly alcoholic dead son serve divorce papers retiring And uh all the kids are bored by him when he was adored in Raiders of the Lost Ark They and that's yeah Right away like he's bored as well. I think that's the more interesting thing is that he's bored by all of this And he wasn't ever born ever Yeah, the indiana jones like story itself has an example of an older man who is not very kind to younger people But is not bored by his own life. It's his own father Like we know what an older indiana jones is kind of like it's henry jones senior Um, and he's he is out of time, but he's not disinterested in the world or in his studies or his profession In fact, he's more interested than ever That's the thing that creates the antipathy between him and india is that he doesn't find young people very interesting But that's not because he doesn't find life interesting That's because he just doesn't think young people have the kind of intelligence to be worth his time So you can see because we'll go on to do that against jumping ahead that this is moon day So they're celebrating the moon landing and india has no time for any of this stuff Um, but that's a factor of his overall depressed state of seeing no worth in life Whereas I could absolutely see an older indiana jones in the model of henry jones senior being Well, the moon landing is not as interesting as history. It's a lump of rock in space But this this is really fascinating Whereas in india's case, it's I don't care about that. I also don't care about this Can someone please yeah, he doesn't show much of any understanding of it He does have a throwaway line about how it's like going to reno. That's about it But you you'd be nice to hear more I actually thought for a moment as foolish as I am that the the theme of the film was going to be a Sense of like the future versus the past and you might be like, yeah, that is what it's about I was like, no, no, no, I mean like the interests in Space pushing us so far forward that we forget how we got to where we are sort of thing and plenty of You know insights about that characters are represented and then an appreciation of looking to the future while appreciating the past That sort of thing. I don't think we got anything to do with that. We spent most of the film Fucking with phoebe wall bridge. I don't think like I could draw a lot of thematically about any of that Especially not with the third act and where we go I don't know what the fuck I was supposed to make of all of that crazy shit, but We'll get there. Um, but yeah as to what a gary and a little bit of a highlight in there They really did tick every possible box to make him dishevel despondent Like decadent. He's just this Absolute ruination version of Indiana Jones. They're just like, did you need to do this? Could you have had him so that he was normal and also a little bit sad that everybody's so interested in space Yeah, they're not as interested in archaeology That's perfectly easy to tell as a story without making him a zombie. You don't have to do this An embarrassing zombie too Everything around him is poorer as well So if you remember that the settings of the original one the university is is big and it's grand and his house is quite Largest if I recall and it's it's well adorned and it's well furnished And he's clearly quite an affluent guy and in this one He lives in a dingy little apartment next to some hippie student neighbors who play music too loud And he's at a shit-looking university with a tiny little staff room full of people who don't really want to be there and don't care And you just how did you go from? That to this at what point did you just completely collapse as a person in life and the world recognized that and punished you for it And why again? Why is this an Indiana Jones film? Yeah, I'm not happy about any of this when they were filming this shit Wouldn't you just been like you having him in his underpants with his baseball bat being like you quiet down You kids with your music. It's like do you you joking? Why is this what you want to do? And it's like well, that's what old people do Not all old people different Yeah It's like a simpsons joke. Look what is this? I'm not inherently against a like a movie about an old Person, you know dealing with old age and how much it sucks But like Indiana Jones is one of those like james bond type characters where it's like a male at You know fantasy adventure guy Where it's like there's an alignment between you as an audience member and the character of like wanting to go on the adventure And then when you're greeted with old indy who doesn't want to do anything and is depressed It's like a cockslap, you know, like it's because Indiana Jones is firmly rooted in saturday morning serials, which is rooted in pulp, which is itches Yeah, it's it's alpha male stuff, which is stuff. Hollywood just doesn't believe anymore They don't pull they think any kind of masculinity is toxic now And indy was always a layered character too like what when it came out You know indy was fallible like they when they introduced him in Raiders He's got that badass scene where you know Use the whip to get the gun out of the guys But but then he's afraid of snakes and he's running and and that was kind of new back then All the action stars were kind of like i'm a bad ass and i'm just gonna kick everybody's ass and that was something that was kind of new and different So he's Running from the natives, right where he's just like Yeah, I get the planes dotted up holy fuck That's yeah, that's different So he starts out badass, but we see that he's like he's kind of clumsy and he and he gets out of stuff You know just pure with pure grit, you know, he's not like this. He's he's not james bond Okay, who who's just really badass at everything And that was different at that time But this is something hollywood just doesn't fundamentally believe that like it's such a trope now To have your old character just be broken and and and I can hear james mangled and whoever wrote this now And they say well, it's just so boring to have him happy We need to we need to create drama So it's like all right, maybe he sat about one thing But like you put five things in there that you could have just Just just retiring would be enough. Yeah for any of the johns just retire the Sad about his son and his divorce, but he still Uses his uh his lectures as his cape because he's super into that shit. They should have had his dog die too. Fuck it And just because this is the thing right as you just highlighted It's such an interesting story to have any one of these elements But they threw all of them at the same time and just completely destroyed him because it's it's not weird It's like a lack of imagination as to the kinds of stories that you could tell about an older indiana johns If you have to like if you absolutely have to make this film like this wasn't the only option that you had Fucking timeline where there is a good version of this still not only that much, but hey He's sad about retiring and they find a dial instead of time travel like it leads him to atlantis And then you can connect it to the bermuda triangle or something cool like that Like it would there would have been a million different ways, you know have a father son story James mangled's done pretty good ones before you just If she'll a boof is unavailable or too crazy just recast you could have recast mutt. It's not a big deal. Nobody cares Is the way they did and again, I know we're jumping ahead a bit But the back story from mutt is that he dies in vietnam and he only enlisted to piss off Yeah In the first place already seemed to me kind of backwards because indy's the guy who's fought in wars You'd think he's more and you know, he spied against the communists and vietnam was a war ostensibly at the time against communism in vietnam You would think indy would be the person who didn't understand his younger son's Antipathy towards signing up and you could find some kind of like if you would do it again Like fringy said if you really wanted to remake this film not which is not to say that you should be remaking anything But if you were going to do it, I think a pretty good story would be essentially to say What was the last crusade model? Well, that was the holy grail wasn't just the grail itself But it was the father-son relationship that they both felt in some way was lacking Well, certainly indy felt was lacking you can easily replicate that if mutt is like a draught dodge Or he refuses to go to vietnam and indy's off doing something else And he doesn't understand his son's refusal to to fight for his country and to stand up for what's right against people who hate history And eventually he could even disappear You could even do that dynamic from last crusade again You could send mutt off on an adventure to find indy and they come together Which would be it would be paralleling for a purpose as opposed to just Recreating the last crusade because it's been done before that could have been an interesting story And and like gary was saying as well You would really want to tie that into some kind of macguffin Which has got real cultural power and influence and history like the holy grail Like the arc of the covenant do as opposed to the one they just basically invent Which is this archimedes dial that never existed and does stuff that it never did Well, it's based on that antikythera mechanism, but it doesn't travel through time. They don't even know what crazy don't know Yeah, uh, you could look it look it up. It's a much better story But it's also I mean it's got nothing to do with archimedes because he didn't make it And it wasn't found in two pieces. It was found complete and they've had it in a museum since 1901 So it's not the best device they could have used It's probably like well if all the devices they could have made up that one's pretty shit too Like if you think about it like complete freedom to make it up and what it does and that's what they got us Fucking time travel and you've got and you know because again I think fringy you might have made this point an open bar as well Which is that all of those the original films in particular had very strong cultural tyrants And they're basically replaying myths that are already well established Whereas this film doesn't do that this film is just trying to create some random time travel dynamic But given that it wants to go back to greek or roman times How the hell you don't make use of any greek or roman myth that tell this story is kind of right Oh, yeah Oh, and there's so many that you could have done that were so good uh, and you could The anti-canthera mechanism could have been in it. It could have just led to something much bigger like It is a mystery and it is a cool mystery and the hell they didn't even know what the hell It really was until much late. They found it 1901. It was I guess built in between 100 and 150 bc I think it was back I think it was 240 and then It'll come with 70 right until they like they were able to x-ray it and figured out it was gears and uh, it's pretty crazy It's a pretty crazy device But no no, we're Phoebe wallabridge. That's what we needed and it's funny out of all of the even The death of mud the the one that really just threw me off as soon as I heard it was like, yeah He's divorced or separate or whatever. I was like Like I don't even when the kingdom of the crystal skull kind of went out of its way To like re-establish and rebuild that relationship only for this film to be like, oh no, it ended and fuck it off screen And also died off screen. It makes it so much more apparent That like this film Really does not slot in like at all with the prior films and even kingdom of the crystal skull really didn't slot in but like Maybe more so here Yeah, well it this is the equivalent like the assassination is already in full effect like this is an indiana jones It's about as far away as you can get from indiana jones and then it's like, yeah, it also marries just fucking left him Why are you doing that? Are you just trying to be mean like what is this to accept all of this off-screen? It's like that's a tall order to ask people to accept All for a drive scene at the end. Yeah, which will yeah. Oh god I can piss me off. I was so mad when I got out of this one. I didn't think I could get mad again At lucas film, but they did it It's so crazy how it's not a shock Like a lot of this you're like Yeah, here we are. Yeah, pretty kind in there A lot of things were predictable like as soon as you see the divorce papers, you know, like, okay at the end Yeah, they're gonna meet up I didn't even like that. He uh, he goes to the fridge and puts a magnet on his face because I was like Yeah, that was is the implication that he just doesn't want to think about it and he puts it on it It came across more so like a fuck you Yeah, it came across as angry non-invasive. I was just like, thanks I've got zero context for why any of that has happened. You just tell him me now that He had her kind of hate each other. It's like cool. Thank you. I needed that Imagine why it's and you haven't I'm for some reason you haven't seen the previous Indiana Jones film You'd be like, why does everybody like this character? He's an asshole Well, and that's the thing he does that because we uh, he goes on the train sees a kid with a little Elmod on just to I guess push the fact that yes Moonday, it's uh, it's gonna be a thing in a sec and he starts teaching and as was mentioned, it's miserable And this sucks man because he's not that's not indian Indiana Jones is fucking interesting to discuss all these topics He's obsessed with them. He thinks they're amazing to portray his whole class is either falling asleep or having no idea what the answers are So lame Yeah And like yeah, he's like he's clearly noticing it as well. I think he says um Uh, I've got a quote hang on. It's yeah in 213 bc the roman forces led by marcellus laid siege to the city of syracuse And then some girl of the fucking audience goes syracuse and he goes no no not not the one in new york In in sys why would you even think that it's so fucking annoying man? It's like oh, she's just a clown absolute clown like oh, is he talking about how the roman's invaded new york like Fuck off clearly And yeah, um, he's asking more and more questions and nobody's answering and then someone in the audience a bright Spark in the audience right there clever girl is answering all the questions correctly I guess that you could say that's the first we see a phoebe wallabridge and Honestly what I saw her and how she was already being portrayed as energetic lively and intelligent. I was like, oh Jesus The character's helena is her name. I think Yeah, it'd be better if we don't just call it phoebe wallabridge because that's fucking long Cool as sure if you aren't that's good enough it's quick Um, yeah, and as she's answering the questions indy seems to light up a bit like He's been dead for centuries and finally somebody actually listened to something He said and then these kids just bursted the room They're like look budday shit on the tv. It's like that was hilarious as well because I don't know what year is it exactly. It's like not Yeah So they just roll from from the outside of the from the hall Basically, they roll in a tv. That's fully functional and shows the fucking program right there I didn't see any cables or anything They just roll it in and it just works. It's like budday For me, I was just like that's fucking disrespectful. He's teaching a class, but all right And every normal teacher would be like, can you get the fuck out? I'm having a lecture here and he's just like, oh, I guess I'm go home Yeah, no, literally. Yeah, it seems to end his class. He's just like Very mind. He just realized that all of his students knew nothing about this thing And they're all gonna get a test on it soon. He's just like It's all so fucking sad. The whole thing is just sad Yeah, they would roll TVs into like when reagan got shot like they rolled the yeah, that makes more sense Challenger exploded. They rolled the tv. I was like I was barely born when this movie. Yeah, I don't think they're gonna pull a tv in for a parade Maybe the moon landing but not an fm parade. Well, it just felt weird It looked like a random bit of footage of people talking about the moon It wasn't like there's nothing there was nothing special on it if it was the launch maybe I'd buy it if it was Something significant. Yeah, like an event, but no, it's just that and it's not that I couldn't buy it at all It's just fucking like what are we doing? There's like, oh, right You have a shot of the tv overshadowing his projector and Technology the future over overshadowing the past and he's looking sad. It's like I get it Fine. That's the stage. We're just doing that more We've got to pile on more sad because we had that opening 20 minutes where he's, you know A photocopy of an action hero now we got to bring him all the way back down And the the rest of the film doesn't really pick it back up. So All good. Uh, they're celebrating his uh, his time here. I forget where this place even is Wasn't either dean at the end of uh, he was the the joint dean at the end of the crystal skull Yeah, he was what happened to that No idea It's all basically head canon because it all happened off-screen But i'm guessing it's yet death of son divorce of wife means that he Loses his love for his work and gets demoted or he's he's moved out because he just doesn't have the passion and the talent anymore And so that's how he's ended up here. But that again, all of that is off-screen. So I have no real idea It's for us to invent basically it's like he's retiring at this place that we've not seen before didn't know you worked here It's like, okay It's just really so I I guess the implication is also that was his let his last lecture Yeah, that was the last fucking lesson to guess. Yeah And he just burst in with the moon language. Nobody gives a shit. I mean, it's like, I guess I'm gonna go and they're like Here's the clock's like, hey, thanks for putting up with me And then just he just gives the clock to some random fucker on the street I didn't like that either because the implication I think is that indy recognizes this clock isn't like historically valuable It's just some random clock they pick up from as if to imply that indy doesn't value like sentimental shit When in this same movie someone Lifts his watch his wrist watch and he says give it the fuck back. That was my father's. It's like, yeah So you do understand like items that are given to you with meaning rather than historical relevance Like all of these people appreciate in the time you've given them and that you're retiring I don't think I'd buy that indy would just toss it to the first person he sees outside Well, hang on. I would buy that this indy would do that. Okay. I wouldn't buy the sand ejected indy that doesn't Want to do it Harrison Ford would do that but not in not Yeah, Harrison Ford would do it Our friend there that he valued enough that you would want to keep that clock. No, he hated it there. I guess Yeah, the whole time the whole 10 years Isn't that fun? No, what else you got? I actually don't think I would have minded some of the retirement stuff in a different movie that didn't involve like a Like an adventure fantasy character Like I kind of get that there's something to like putting an old character against this time period of like the late 60s where all of a sudden it's about space exploration and he feels kind of like Uh, nobody cares about these old Stories nobody cares about the past anymore um, and like I kind of liked when he Like uh, when he was given the clock and he just said thanks for putting up with me Yeah, I just I just went oh like Yeah, but that's he's still like humble, you know, I like that out of context on its own Is a perfectly good moment you could put into all kinds of stronger stories But then to have him tossed it away as soon as he gets outside. I feel like that undermines the whole thing Yeah, well you brought up a good point Sorry, sorry, you brought up a good point about the him being sentimental over the watch later on Actually, I forgot about that. That's a good point Like it's inconsistent about like what he's sentimental of what like I gathered like because it was a clock That he was given he just didn't want to be reminded about the passage of time and there are better ways To put that forth than tossing it to a hobo like that that's Totally missing the point the writers were trying to You know tell you that he was depressed and he was very sad and pathetic Yeah, if we get it from the five or six things they told us before they wanted to give us one more So I think I don't get it quite. I think they should do more Yeah Didn't go far It isn't saying um because it's just beating him down again and again and again and again And all the reprieve you get is Phoebe Wallabridge shows up because now he's in a bar drinking while Depressingly looking at the screen about how space is everything. It's just like thanks. We need this scene too No dour it is so effing dour all the way through. Yep. It comes at an interesting time because we just started a secret invasion And then I started watching this but it's like oh for fuck's sake. I just had that It's kind of Stop it. We thought we had a new idea where fury just hates his life is depressed and despondent and unskilled and hates everything Just sulking in space for 15 years me Me We felt like I think if you're different If you're gonna do an old indie story and I mean with if you're gonna use Harrison you have to address the age um I guess but yeah, but um I think a better way probably of approaching it would be like he wants to go on the adventure He's still eager but the world around him is telling him like you're too old now just retire Just like go sit at home. It's okay. He's like no capacity like I want to do the things capacity you have to kind of go with probably is going to be that he's an advisory capacity, right? That he gets to talk a lot you know Sean Connery's role in last crusade. It's not as actiony Still some action gets to be done Here and there but again, this is all into the impression of why do we have to make another one Stop making me try to solve problems that shouldn't exist upset. Yeah Yeah, anyway, he's at a bar drinking his fucking troubles away because I'm sure he does a lot of that with this iteration and this era And uh, yeah, she's like you don't recognize me. Do you he's like No, you're annoying. Please go away Of course, it's 18 years She's like head of the shore I was just like Fuck and you get this throughout the whole movie. She is so aware of cameras on her at all times in this fucking film Yes She can't like no offense. I haven't seen her in the thing everyone likes her from apparently Or the thing that made it get some way. It was a fleabag people keep saying I've never seen it And killing you as well, but holy mother fuck like every time the camera's on her she plays to it. She's like Hey, oh To me she was marvel as a person like current marvel just in the film. Yes Um, she never recognizes the tone of any scene. She's just doing whatever the fuck she wants Um, there's one time she gets partially called out for it But the film spends about two seconds on that and then moves on not even that a second. Yeah I know exactly what you're talking about So annoying. Um, we've that's just the beginning. Good god. There's so much of her in this film Um, so anyway, we move over to the villain side Uh, vola is it's obviously just back to um present day mass michelson instead of like dh and stuff and He's he's doing something. I don't know when we'll explain all the context But first he's getting some room service My god, the fucking makers were proud of this one, weren't they? So By the way, first comment I didn't understand, uh, he's got a sport in it One of them is huge chongas man and the other one is uh, boyd holbrook who We we will talk about him in this film because he's baffled me like I he was like a I think he tried to be a leading man at some point Now he's been downgraded to head henchman with no lines Feel kind of bad for him as an actor because like he spends a lot of time in this film just sort of being there ish Uh, I don't know what the plan was with him. Maybe he had more lines originally But it just feels weird because he's like a known actor to some degree, but he's sort of just there Anyway, he advises the guy who's delivering the stuff. Yeah, he's in there. Don't Give him anything on wheels put it on the table. He doesn't he doesn't eat thing. He doesn't eat anything on wheels What? Oh, yeah, that was a really weird statement. I'm like, oh, well, I thought maybe I was missing something Like is that a reference to something like what the fuck? Yeah, I think they were just trying to uh drive home that that was a servant Right, uh, because this was a big scene that established the villain because he's Which being a nazi I would just kind of assume that but Find out some more so because he hates trains The guy should have just uh, oh, yeah, this is just for me to transport in here. I just put it on his table You fucking idiots I thought it was so odd like just make sure you don't save him food on wheels. Like, okay Well, I guess I'll take it back then because it's it's on here already I don't know. Don't let him see that it was on wheels originally He'll make him think of the train Just put it on this table and then that's it's whatever moving along During his little close-up reveal shot where he turns around. I thought Uh, we were gonna see like Oh, we're gonna see how the train thing just figured here like getting whacked Like there's gonna be a gnarly like one half of his face is gonna be destroyed and it's like, oh, I guess he's fine Again, he's okay Uh, so yeah, uh, boyd holberg says he's in after that. He says the man you're serving He's the one to put the men on the moon. He built the rocket And uh, it turns around. He's like, where are you from and it's uh, it's a Black server, right? So the the you know, mr. German man's gonna hate him automatically Uh, I'm sorry metal, but that's just the truth. He's like, where are you from? I hated him. He came in. It's like, oh Serving a man food on wheels has fucked up. We all know that's what he's supposed to do But yet he just did it straight up So he says, uh, where are you from? He says the Bronx. He says no no originally your people He says I was born in Yankee stadium. So near it that he says, did you fight for your country? It's like 3 20th battalion assisted in stopping the bombing of Normandy But he's like you enjoying your victory Oh god, I legit was like is this what are you doing? If you left it if he left it after the first question Then I and like with maybe a lingering pause It might have worked just because you can tell then that he's still got these deep dark nasty feelings about ethnic minorities But then he goes on and by the end of this little interrogation You think how the hell do people not know you're a Nazi because it's pretty down obvious He's also really shit like He has nothing to say when the guy is like, oh, I was born in America. Like he's like fuck Got nothing else. It's like, oh, he's like, wait, I know. Did you even fight for your country? He's like, yes Yeah, I was like, oh, Jesus. Oh, I hope you didn't bring the food on wheels Ah, I got you now if you wanted to show how awful his point of view is and his ideology You could he's like try and present it like because I have no idea. He's just like I just hate you And it's like, yeah, okay That's that it's the which is, you know, he's a Nazi. That's what they usually do I guess but it's like could have made dialogue that fit a little better with a little bit more Um, doesn't doesn't he close it with you didn't win the war hit the lost it Yes, just possibly the most cope line I've ever heard about the war You didn't win we lost Say, okay, by the way, I'm totally not a Nazi. Okay What's for me like he's just like I just you could replace the dialogue with I really hate you. It's like, okay Yeah, I hate you. Okay. I really hate you. It's like, yeah, I okay Anyway, and then ending it. Yeah with you didn't win hit the lost And then he says later in the film that the history is a long list of losses It's about who loses and it's just like what the fuck you Hitler doesn't lose without someone winning man It's really weird fucking comment and nobody says anything back to it. Every time he says shit like that everyone's like, hmm Interesting Yeah, so that's and as the guy was just saying that that is more so I think the villain introduction for volar and it's so Shit, they got nothing so bad Like yep, you're still a Nazi. I got it Anyway, that's yeah, that's as far as they ever want to go with it. They're just like, yeah, okay fine I mean Whatever so back to good old indian friend He's researching for a doctorate Uh, she's gonna picking the antikythera and he says what do you know about it? And then she says uh The as far as she knows from her dad that it was lost on that train segment in the Flashback, but we know they didn't lose it there. They took it back So I guess she's got wrong information from her dad And I think india along with the audience is supposed to assume the dad lied to her about its fate Which is a bit confusing for indy's like, don't you remember the last time I was with you because that's when he took The dial and we just you know cut to the chase. She's lying. She's pretending that she's forgotten about all of that Um, I'm not sure why? I don't know what difference we would have made if she just said you have the dial. Can I see it? This is what was confusing on my first watching now granted I was checking my phone a lot. I ran out the peak. It was such a fucking boring movie But uh after watching it a second time, which was brutal by the way It's a double double cross, but they that doesn't really come across Like really cleanly. Uh, there's a lot of this movie so Uh, you guys mentioned earlier that the the original indiana jones films are dense. They're absolutely they don't waste anything There's beautiful shots. This is just busy. It's busy with stuff Uh, and yeah, so she's double crossing Valor and And I guess she had made a deal with him And she was going to go find uh the antikytherm, but then she was going to go off to morocco or whatever Uh, and she just wanted she knew everything at this point And she's lying to him and he figures it out in a second, but it's It's it was so freaking. I just couldn't get past like how annoying she was like and i'm like, why is she here? And I was like, well, maybe they'll do something with her character later. They'll make her a little fallible Uh, which they just never do they just absolutely never do but like this whole opening scene was Like confused like who's the guy in the crutches who was uh, Talk about having a second Nazi girlbot is there a reason then why she didn't just say You have the dial. I know you do because that's the last time I saw it was with you So I'd like to look at it for my research. Why didn't she just say that? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know either. Yeah, I couldn't come up with anything. So all of that is just to I yeah, because I think honestly you need a reason to distrust her He needs a reason to figure out a lie in his story So she makes all because she didn't need to make up any of that and then his story wouldn't have been a lie You know what I mean? It wouldn't have been and and he has plenty of reasons not to trust her like moments after this It's great that you said that gary because the first thought I had when watching this was Wait, indy doesn't recognize her at all, but she's claiming to be his goddaughter I wonder if he's gonna do the thing of like Who even are you like? I don't buy it. I think you know that I have a goddaughter But just because I haven't seen her in a while like who the fuck are you person who's pretending to be the goddaughter? That's like the really obvious interpretation, but he never has that thought throughout the whole movie He never even entertains for a second that she's not here Um, it's been a while since he's seen that girl and there's a lot of ways people could benefit by pretending to be a family member of yours, you know, it's just And then you know all these agencies after it and volas after it's like Why wouldn't they potentially be an agent to pretend to be someone related to you who asked to see how weird is that? May I see the attic of theories a part of my uh, doctorate? Yes out of the blue. She's like, hmm I remember vault dollars after it. He's after it. The cia is fully aware of it. They're assisting it They're just trying to keep them happy basically But they're they're they go full on we'll get to that and helping them get it Yeah, and she's like uh You know, it's it's ready to be collected. It's down there and nobody knows except us it's like Really just pushing it as far as she can go for Try to be a Bouncy character I think is what she's trying to achieve because she's like and you can have a final triumph Indiana Jones going out with a bang back in the saddle. Oh, I'm not selling this terribly. Well. Am I it's like No Yeah But even that's that's an irritating setup because in quite a pub in the fact that the real thing was found in one piece Anyway, the version of the dial that they have in this film It's found in two pieces the half that they have was found in 1901 The second half is still on the same ship both halves were transported on the same ship The other half of the ship has just sunk a little bit deeper a little bit further away Not very much further away just like a few meters further away and a few tens of meters further down But given they've known about it since 1901 everyone knows where it came from what it is Why hasn't anyone just gone back there already? I don't know that would have been nobody's asked about it either because It's so weird. He's just stored it in the I guess this is a university like Holding room for important items storage rooms. Like that's where it is. Okay Whatever I suppose, um, she also says like he asks why she's chasing the thing that drove her farther crazy And she says wouldn't you obviously referencing fucking the grail and I was kind of like does she know anything about that? Do you have any context for that really? Why would she because they haven't spoken for Ever he knows like barely anything about him other than assuming he's a grave robber Because her dad put it all in one of those journals. She read or whatever. Ah, that's probably it. Yeah He wrote about how he shouldn't be getting involved in his dad's obsession. Ha ha gotcha I don't know but it was annoying But that's okay um So yes, as was mentioned, uh, we we go outside and this is you know gary's completely right. This gets really confusing We've got guy on crutches black agent lady And then the two thug guys And all of them are working together to go get indy But like when you fully understand everything it's like well, no it's is volo because of his Aiding the government the u.s. Government with technology Like going to the moon landing and stuff They're assisting him in his goals of retrieving the antikythera, right? In his side hustle. Yeah And so you have CIA boss man on crutches. I don't know why he's on crutches. He's just on crutches Is was to emasculate him so they can have the the diverse girl boss be the boss of the cia Nazi detachment I thought it was it was really odd that they're supposed to all work as a team and yet they all like hate each other and have different allegiances Uh And that gets really fucking weird in about five minutes from now And they don't even really seem to know exactly what each other's plans are because the agent lady keeps telling him Also, she's she's not like a rogue cia agent She does say as a representative of the u.s. Government. I want you to do this So the u.s. Government is on is in on uh I was about to say muller. What the hell is his name again? Jürgen Jürgen what is called in that Jürgens little scientist thing um And yet it can't be because surely if they if they knew that then Why would they be subcontracting the search for a time travel device? To this random scientist guy who then will preach it Well, he'll go on to completely ignore them and ditch them entirely and then you know kill them Um, I I don't understand their relationship at all. I think it just makes No, it's really hard to piece together, honestly Like why would you let somebody that you supposedly brought over Operation paperclip a former nazi and just like let him hire his own guards They're really fucking weird gods, but we're about to find that out in just a sec But basically they're like yeah Jones is in there and we've all got to go get him is is is the thing that unifies them But that is the last time they're all going to be unified. Let's put it that way But but why also why are they even assisting him in getting this thing given the cia woman later on? We'll have the line you got them to the moon They got what they wanted because they're not actually interested in what he's going for so in which case why is the cia? Helping him a tool what they were trying to I think get across was that they were like humoring him But that seems like really fucking weird They like the weird they humid him to this extent Yeah So, uh, yeah, they're all going after him There he gives the dial to her and figures out that she's lying. It's uh The the the more interesting part I think is that they move into the the uni and um, they're checking out his room his office the thug guys And uh agent ladies is seemingly like progressively looking a bit more concerned and some some teacher shows up She's like, what are you guys doing? What's up? And she's like, what are you what are you doing searching through? You know Jones's stuff and she clearly gets a bit worried and she starts walking away because she's probably going to call someone And she's shot in the back by one of the well buoyed in this case Holbrook um I was so baffled because I was like, oh you guys are just horrible villain gym and people then I guess You could just go around killing people But it's like well, no because agent lady then pulls a gun on him. She's like, what are you doing? And then I think he says like no witnesses This is what the doctor tells me no witnesses Because yes, some other it's not Instantly like over Some other teacher walks up to see the woman who's been shot in the back and then he gets shot too It's a buildable people. You're just gonna kill everyone. It's it's absolutely insane because uh First time through I couldn't quite pick what was wrong because I didn't know what everyone is here to do Second time through she's cia. She should shoot them dead on this fucking spot These two emitters even yeah, like why is she letting that happen? I don't understand it at all The only way around that is if you have it as a very deliberate and planned out cia Collaboration doing evil stuff with nazis. That's the only way. Yeah, that makes sense. But that isn't what the film does Like opposed to them later on she's presented as being opposed to what they're doing Yeah, it's so funny. No witnesses because they've made more of an actual like Insane event out of this than ever needed to be they could have just been like, yeah We're looking for dr. Jones. Do you know where he is and that's it? Yeah, I could have just said that instead they fucking kill them This body stop piling up Isn't that as well because like so the the original three films have the advantage of being so very easy to grow Nazis versus civilization is one of the easiest moral quandaries in existence. Nazis are obviously bad. Everyone knows that Crystal skull comes along and I think one of the reasons it doesn't resonate quite so well Besides the fact that it's just a load of nonsense is that you've lost that same You don't have the same easily graspable thing the 60s are a more morally politically complicated time The soviets don't occupy the same place in anyone's imagination as the nazis do rightly or wrongly And it complicates it and people quite liked I think looking back at the old indiana joins films Certainly during the 1980s in times of very sort of high political intrigue for their very simple morality tale This film has brought back the nazis to do away with the cold war era intrigue stuff Because that's not what people watch indiana jones for and yet it's introduced it again Because it's having it's having the cia work with suspected nazis to get the time travel device But if you are going to do intrigue in the cold war, why are you not doing it with the soviets again? And if you're not going to do cold war intrigue and if you are just bringing back the nazis Then why are you having the american government working with them? It's I don't it's just I don't think they understood What they were even trying to go for with the tone here They shouldn't have had the american government Uh working with volor at all It should have been that he like gained his citizenship and he was a free agent after the moon landing was successful They let him go and he was a private citizen and he had a bunch of you could run the exact same story You don't need the fucking insane cia shit Yep It gets so fucking weird And guy with crutches then comes up who's supposed to be lost and goes what's going on here Yeah, they show all of them arrived the cia like boss arrives. There's bodies on the floor and he's like, oh jeez Nothing else on that. We don't see it again. It's like, okay. Nope. I was gonna bring up as well when uh, uh Sean and jones are talking he says about the anti-care theory about what toby jones thought of it. He says, um He thought the irregularities and the rotations could provide ways to predict large disturbances and she says disturbances like What he says fissures in time I'm sorry. What You thought the dials of the thing could spot fissures in Where did you get any of this from? I don't know it makes sense to me. You made that shit up It's uh, yeah, that's pretty insane It's a big leap from like, uh, you know the mechanism possibly being able to help navigate ships and it and in fact The moon and and time Yeah, totally Might just be able to travel through time. Oh Okay. Oh, why didn't I think of that that makes so much sense um, yeah, indy figures out she's lying and just as he does all of the bad people arrive and You start to really think like so motivations They want the dial the bad guys the cia lady seems to want indiana jones Because she wants to ask him about the dial But she also knows who sure is as well They're not after indy. They're after. Yeah, they seem to not recognize though that she's there. She's got the dial Jones is basically irrelevant now Do you know what I mean? Like he's the capturing him doesn't really do much for the The mission you got to get her and she is within reach. She's she's exited a very obvious way They chase her on foot. We'll get into how they fucking lose her. It's a bit of editing magic But um, yeah, so this is the first instance of helena locks the door behind her She could easily have locked it once indy got through but she chooses to ditch him with all these people that she knows May very well kill him. Um, she leaves So we know very little about her and it's funny how the film tries to argue because this is the first of I want to say three instances where she leaves him for dead Yep. Um, yeah, she sucks She's all yeah That's immediately what I thought it's like she just locks him and runs away. It's like, oh, fuck you. I hope you die Yeah, and he might be like, yeah, but they barely know each other. It's like Goddaughter, she knows that he would have saved her dad's life several times. What the hell is this? Yeah It's ridiculous. You remember like I'm going further than she's an asshole. I actually think it's just Weirdly out of character. Why would she do this to him? Yeah, it's like, oh, this is people that want to probably going to shoot you because Well, they just shot two people Before they came in Um, and now they get in there and then just stop shooting by the way, but you know Is there an argument? I mean this is just a reach and devil's advocate But is there an argument for well She grew up without her father because her father went mad because of something that he and indy founded So indy in her mind is associated with her father's death and so that's why she's the moral of best They do a bit of marvel type writing where they try and make A character a worst piece of shit by inventing bullshit like later on she mentions how if only there was a father figure that could have taken care of her when Her father died implying that indy was like an absent father to her And they tried to make it indy's fault too And so it's like, yeah, maybe they are going for that angle But what the fuck they invented her for this film and now they've invented that he abandoned her It's uh, it's the same problem that's secret invasion But yeah, which is terrible the way as having where they've invented this new history of nick fury's like making a massive mistake like a like this crazy Like promising something and then failing to deliver on for 30 years to them This thing that was invented in this show You invented a flaw That didn't exist before to shit on him and even if He abandoned her like as she says, uh, that what that means you can kill him To die exactly and it well, I mean It wasn't like she risks more by taking him with her It was that she Chose to make his life much worse than she needed to And he could have let him through the door and then left him then, you know and just take And he still wouldn't have a chance to say you're on your own the dial is mine sort of thing Instead of actually locking him in and like mollus said this is the first of a few instances of her doing this Makes it really easy to like Indiana Jones a character that people going into this movie already like With this new character She's got way more of an uphill battle to climb in terms of being, you know, like as liked or In a way that she could be like adversarial to indian. You'd still like her and right out of the gate What were you thinking? So, um Not great. Not great. There isn't have any likeable or humorous moments And it's like throughout the whole movie. She's trying to convince herself really hard and the audience that she's this cutthroat Capitalist and that's all that matters the cold hard maths and it's like who's who's like this This is does it make you a capitalist if you only care about money and you steal it from people That's what makes you a capitalist now. It's like, okay That's an interesting point of view you got there There's such a please clap joke So, uh, what's kind of funny about this seat is that uh, they all have guns, but none of them shoot indy So you'd be like, oh, well, they don't want him dead, of course. Like, well, it's weird. Uh, boyd holbert goes to shoot indy later Um, so I don't know. I don't I don't really know. I don't understand Uh indy First very very very clear evidence that harrison ford is not up to Any part of this role no anymore It's it's so At one point so like he's trapped on some of the stairs, isn't he and they're all sort of closing in on him He's looking panicky and he's trying to get away. He's throwing over a bookshelf. I think and that's about it He's hobbled up some stairs like a very old person and then cia woman approaches him slowly and says we're not going to hurt you Yeah, this is how you speak to someone with dementia We're gonna bring you back to your home And we'll tuck you into the hospital. Did you Did murder the guy with crutches though? Yeah, that was about to say he pushes over a bunch of things And the guy with crutches goes ah get squished. It's like All of that. Why did you have a bad with crutches just to crush him? Wade that's all I could think of his name is probably agent wade. That's Yeah, remember him Um Yeah, so indy gets out somehow avoids all of them with that little move and she starts going across the rooftops now Uh, you might think well, she's younger. They might be able to actually film some action with her Even if it is like with a double or whatever Um, did any of you notice they have a moment where she realizes? Oh, no, I can't just jump across this rooftop It's actually a decent like maybe two meter distance. I'm gonna have to do a run up and jump across This is gonna be intense. What a what a crazy stunt the kind of thing that tom cruise would be staring at you for a while like, what? That's a stunt that's all I got here She does not much of an action movie here where I kind of run no No, it's really awkward Gangly British woman actually she's lanky is the word for her. She's super lanky Like uh, so tall it doesn't proportion well And so she sort of seems like slender man trying to run in the olympics or something So yeah, she's got this gap to cross. She's like when the music's like, oh, shit. Can she do it? She backs up We cut to the POV of some guy in an alley and in the background like fucking a mile in the distance You can see a silhouette crossing over the two buildings I see me while a bridge. I was like Are you I don't even remember the it wasn't even a difficult stunt. No offense. Phoebe, but like It's not hard to be able to jump a distance like that. Is it? I don't even remember the the run up for me It just kind of looked like she was standing and then just jump my point I don't know if there's like a physical run up I guess what I mean is that the film itself is making a big moment of like can she cross this gap? This is going to be a significant one. She loses the the people as a result of it, right? So it's a big deal. We just harsh cut too far away so that we can't possibly make out what's happening It's like fuck me. That's lazy Some a few instances of the editing being really bizarre. Yes Um, however we get this might be the first thing I like in the whole movie. I can't remember Indy is like You know leaving the university but he stumbles across the bodies from the people who've been killed his co-workers And he actually takes a moment to I guess mourn them I was like that's nice They don't do that in films. Usually they're just like whatever dead people bye Well, it does go on quite quickly afterwards because doesn't he then call the police and he tells the police exactly what's happened And then someone points a gun at him And he puts the phone down and the police never show up because it's presented So having the gun pointed at him means that he didn't make a movie just saw him make And those were the IA guys Well, so I think I think I'm pretty I imagine that what women to pull from that is that later on That's the reason why they blame him or suspect him of doing it the police The camera hangs on the blood on the The telephone and I think it is supposed to imply like this is how they'll frame him Which by the way that all resolves like without this jump super far ahead. Yeah, they dropped that. Yeah Uh, there's no there's no resolution They don't Come back to america lighter at the end of the film and it's all fine That's oh, yeah He's the guy who called the police to report the murders and he tells the police There's been a murder when he sees them in the street later on And I think it would be hard I understand what you mean about the the blood hand the hand the bloody handprint sorry on the phone But given that he's reported it directly to the police twice himself I think it would strain credulity to say they would think that he was the one Exactly They find out war hero hero archaeologist prophet like there's no motive He totally did it. He's wet nuts. I guess dementia actually retired But yeah, it is like one of those rare moments because it's it's something that's strange It feels like recently in particular in the last, you know Five ten years or so that movies have forgotten to have characters acknowledged when other normal people like civilians Or otherwise just good people like die and that it's sad Like a lot of the time the tests will just be ignored because they weren't major characters They weren't important characters. So why would the protagonist care? Well, yeah Phoebe wallabridge is characters the type to do that. She would run past and be like lol Because she's busy Action hero movie character whereas india's still like kind of a character So it's nice to have that as like a moment of him recognizing that something bad has happened here And getting a little bit emotional over it A couple of moments like that throughout the film where it's like these these almost out of place glimpses of like oh Wow, that's like kind of storytelling. Yeah, and that's what I meant in the sort of intro that there are these pieces The normally speaking they're just things that would be in here Like why wouldn't they be but we really get them in movies this bad And so when they do I'm like, oh good. Look look a piece I need a little like that's nice. Anyway back to the shit. So Uh, yeah Helena's just she's on the ground floor now. She's well, I guess she's made into the parade I don't I guess she went down a ladder or something. I don't know. I don't really care, but she's spotted something I know and um the agent lady She's like you fucking trigger happy cracker idiot. Like you you I was just like this is funny They will not allow slurs in the other direction in this film the age range way too low for that But it's just like what do you think something nazi being called a cracker by a black woman would do like he's an actual full-on nazi He goes crazy by the end of the film in terms of how far he wants to go for that shit But the film's never gonna be able to portray like what he would do or what he would say Oh, no, right. Yeah, but they want to play with like that dynamic. It's just like, all right He just goes Yeah, he goes Hmm So they captured jones because he was on the phone obviously and He says like you're cia and then and then boy does the background. He goes not be bad. I was just like I wouldn't take a government job. I think of this the line, isn't it? Yeah But also just before then they put a hood on him to take him out of the place He works and then they take the hood off of him as soon as they get into the van So he's got a hood on him for about five seconds of inconsequential journey time. You're right And then they've removed it again, and I'm pretty sure there was a window in that fan. Yeah. Yeah, you can see there is a front window or the side window Um, and then yeah, she's like did you give her the dial and he's like lady It's an ancient hunk of gears, which I thought was a really Overcompensating line. It's like you have no idea why they want that. Mm-hmm. It could be anything It doesn't it's not because they might think it travels through time. It doesn't have to be that Um, so it felt more meta like we're pushing the whole idea of like it ain't gonna travel through time I was like ridiculous and in the end it's like what it does What? Yeah So then the stupidest fucking bullshit happens They can't go Into a main street because the parade is there and they can't go back because some taxi is now driven right up to the back of them It's like Basically, they're like there's no way to solve this. We're gonna have to walk indie through the parade now Like oh, all you have to do is tell the taxi guy to fuck off and then it's like, yeah, but we accidentally bumped him So now he's angry and he's gotten out of his thing. He's like, but you're the cia What do you mean move the car get him in and go in with him Fuck me and then reverse the car and then you you're fine because indy's captured in a vehicle But no they bring him out into the into the parade This is a different parade as well. So you've got at the one hand you've got the moonday parade Which is right on this one is the anti-war parade that's happening at exactly the same time And but this is this is a weird one because I was trying to think back through all of the previous films Even crystal skull and to see whether or not anything in those films intrudes on like what is real world documented history Because I mean the line is actually used in this film later on you shot up a televised parade And I don't think there is anything in the other ones like all of the major action sequences are very secret They're overall in deserts or in like mountains or somewhere else So no one's really watching so you can kind of suspend disbelief and say yeah, this could actually have happened at the time It said to have happened It's kind of like it's kind of uh, yeah You could imagine that it happened in our world these adventures with these sort of myths as opposed to this where it's like Nazis plus cia plus famous war hero archaeologists are in gunfight horsefight motorbike chase through moonday parade I think that might have been noticed might have been just think So In the middle of the parade Hartford isas going hell no, we won't go Hell no, we won't go other people start chanting it And then he just punches one of the guards punches the other one runs away And I just I was just like what did the hell no we don't go have to do with that. He could have just hit him anyway The people chanting that has got nothing to do with anything I actually thought they were gonna have like the protesters save them. Yeah, I thought that was what he was going for But that doesn't happen Yeah, it doesn't happen And then because he's a genius Boyd Holbrook just shoots his gun into the air and everyone screams and Crouches revealing where jones is because he's not going to crouch And then police did anything yeah, there are police posted here But they're also civilians who are more than willing to fucking tackle a person who's just shooting into the air That's the thing that happens. There's a whole crowd surrounding him. You tell me not one person was like a lot of people that guy's got a gun hippies Yeah, he goes to shoot indiana and then the agent lady stops him and you're just like What is what is the goal guys? What are you doing? Watch minutes or pad as much time so when it goes on a streaming service, they get as many watch minutes as possible He gets to the cop and there's a second cop Indy's explaining the situation to the guy And then Boyd Holbrook sees the second cop and he's just like ah fuck it and punches him out And at this point you're just like okay, so you've murdered several people you're assaulting police officers You're in the middle of the public like how how is this happening? What's gonna happen to this character? Um, he gets a he gets an interesting end. Let's put it that way. It's not going to involve anything in this timeline though so um, yeah, he gets on a horse indy and he's chased by Boyd Holbrook on a motorbike and if you've seen the trailer the It's so awkward how they try to paste indy's old face onto whoever the stunt guy is who's riding that horse. Yeah Um, oh, it's just it just doesn't look good. It looks so shitty uh Are the close-up shots where it looks like he's running in front of a volume or something. Yeah, it's like too bad It's not what it is. They've they've gone so much worse with incorporating those sorts of effects I'll have to compare but i'm guessing the cg and crystal skull, which wasn't great in the first place isn't much worse than this It's it's really busy. It's bad The part where she'll a booth is swinging through the forest like taz and probably probably doesn't hold up well into Tim's a cg you know Yeah, and the jeep scenes are in the jungle too. I should actually watch it yesterday. It does not hold up well Me and fringery watched it. It was awful Mm-hmm But this this is a different kind of awful because it does You know, I don't know how much was in the volume or not, but it just again it looks super busy and and fake And and and it just looks like they copy and pasted the same 12 people Doing random things over and over again and uh, and maybe there was more to it But it didn't look that way it didn't look that way in the theater at all It just looked like a bunch of color shit Yeah, so so much like spielberg does not direct like this So like I think mango kind of gave up on the impression Later on and had to just go to tricks of the trade to kind of cover up all the cgi all the volume The fact that like harrison fords barely in this movie It's mostly a body double that they're pasting a face on yeah and the horse scene in the freaking subway was just Unnecessary dumb. I know what they were trying to do, but they didn't pull it off And it just ends it ends this movie gets dumber and more depressing as time goes on Especially when Gary the train of the future progress and technology is about to slam into indy while he's riding away on his horse Yep, exactly. I live in the countryside and there's a fair few horses around And so if you ever go for a walk just like random country lane you'd round a corner There's a horse the horse is more likely than not to get scared shitless of you and collapse into a bush because they are Really really stupid and cowardly creatures You cannot ride a horse at full-telt directly at an oncoming train and hope to survive That's just not going to happen. Oh, it's like the horse has no brain. It has no self-preservation It's a car It's just a mindless slave that's gonna willingly put itself in that kind of peril You tell they were going for that like outrageous factor like a horse in a subway What a clashing of eras Yeah, but a lot of it's CG. So like if you're gonna do something like that you need to do a practical Like uh, true lies where they had the horse on the roof. Well, yeah, you don't buy any of it. It all looks fucking fake. I'm sorry That looked real I look real great Yeah Tilt the fucking death are you looser than the star destroyers? Fucking idiots and then of course another eye rolling moment of luck where he's riding down the tunnel And there's a gap in the wall right where it's not even just yeah, it's not even just that the wall runs out It's like there's just a gap there for no reason other than the screenplay needs him to jump through a thing So he can escape And it's like great here. Thank god that wall gap was there awesome Absolute luck if the trains were like a couple of seconds, you know further ahead or further back he'd be fucking he'd be dead It's funny because you mentioned in the luck I actually thought you were gonna reference the fact that he gets off the horse All the ci agents are in the train station that he eventually got to they cut him off It's like, oh, it's all over and then he gets in the train and the doors close right on the On the agents so they can't get into it. It's like, oh wow all that too Again That was funny The thing is is in the old films there are definitely instances of luck But it's like we mentioned before a lot of them are more like cat It the luck doesn't mean anything without him seizing those opportunities compared to just Damn man, like if those trains were a couple of seconds ahead or late that'd just be it for you Like there'd be nothing you can do Yeah, it's it's um It's there's a lot of contrivance in this movie a lot Oh, yes so then uh All is doing like an interview And they're saying like what's next for you since you've conquered space and he's like Hmm and the film is like see time time The time it's space time That's great Well, they say no because they they say what's next for you is it mars and he says no we've conquered space You've gone to the moon Space It's really cool that like you haven't conquered space what the fuck you talk about Not quite uh Yeah, and then and then he says uh Charter of plane to morocco And we find out it's because he's made some form of a deal with feebie wallabridge and that's why he's he's heading now to get The dial from her question mark. That's what we'll next see him anyway. So There's even more questions there about again the relationship with the cia and the u.s. Government because he's scheduled to go and meet It will be Nixon at the time We're just to get a medal for for helping man land on the moon and he just basically says now I'm not going so he charges the plane to go but they can't let cia stop him from I don't know Do not know Then they end up chasing him into morocco and then extracting him right and they complain about that. It's fucking weird, man Yeah, um, so indy's trying to just hang around and then there's a news report where it's like henry jones is now wanted for murder And so there's a man Yes, some hobo just turns up and he's like that guy looks like you Wait that guy is you. Hey everyone. This is the murderer. This is the murderer And then he gets punched out by salla and it's just like what the Did we invent that weird just to have salla punch him? That's We need to establish the fact that there is now a man hunt for for indiana jones who has murdered two people No, no three people because he killed the guy with crutches So there's cops actively looking for him in places now please Because i'm making a point here obviously go ahead about well, it's about at the airport We'll get there. I just wanted to make sure everybody knows there is an active man hunt for indiana jones But then he just kind of just walks around the street Go back to salla Come on. How could you expect them to remember all that? So i'm off in the front of a fucking airport and yells his name. Go give him hell indiana jones it's like Airport security was a little lax in 1969, but there's a man Right now, you would remember how many faces there are on or you can't remember them all I guess And it's um, which ranks worse. There was a more contrived introduction Is it salla in this film or is it lando in the rise of skywalker? Oh We lando because they just bump into lando right like this at least indy called salla. That's the reason he's there Lando was at space coachella. I mean that's believable, but Yeah, like at least we get some exposition from salla here, you know Yeah, well this scene like what he says like boy. Am I glad to see you salla. I'm just sitting there sad. I was like, yeah that's the whole I like that character. Just leave me alone What you want salla is a cab driver in new york now Yep, that's that's an all these his contribution to the story is basically because indian jones has no leads now But he's a wanted man, so he's got to solve that and he says I'm gonna have to find her and he says if you run they'll think you're guilty and he says without helena and the dial I'll get framed for murder I don't know how getting helena and the dial would exonerate him at all What do you need to do? I have the dial. I don't know what that is go to jail What's insane is that to be honest with you? He should be fine because he's gonna get captured But he's gonna say the cia are the ones that did all of this crazy shit and then the cia will have to be like well Yeah, kind of I mean we we worked with some people who murdered some people it wasn't I actually watched it happen the agent watched it Fucking happened. It wasn't indy But you know like he says no, I need the like what is having helena and the dial do for his innocence I Don't know exactly. It's the police are like you killed these people. It's like yeah, but I have the dial like what? Right, I don't understand May no It's not gonna do shit Is she a witness to the fact that he didn't kill them? Is that the idea? And would they believe her because the thing she's his god daughter. She could just be lying I don't think they think they're gonna go want to go. I don't know One of my favorite parts is when solo goes on the internet and finds out that there's a in morocco There's some kind of auction. I don't know how we found out any of this information in 1969 Yeah, he says uh, she was arrested a year ago for auction in contraband Uh, and she was bailed out by aziz raheem who was the son of big raheem who's a moroccan mobster Who owns a hotel the toasting an auction right now or at least tomorrow whatever the stolen stuff and she's gonna be there It's like wow He basically summarized all the exposition you need for the next hour of the film. It's like fucking hell Yeah, it's just a google away The google doesn't exist, but it's a google away Um Yeah, and he gave him he gives him his hat and his whip as well because obviously and he would die without those things That works. There's like a double health bar Yeah, and then he does the thing from the fucking trailer Well, first he says i miss waking up every morning wondering what adventure will bring us or what adventure we're gonna go on I was just thinking to myself like You know last crusade ad raiders. They're not like things that happen every day Those were pretty enormous events like But he's also prepared to go because he says i bought my passport as well So he gives him his hat gives him the whip says i also bought my passport because i want to go on another adventure And he says it's not going to be an adventure Even though it absolutely is he says those days are over Yeah, but i mean they're not because you're literally going to morocco to fight some nazis So quite clearly you're still involved in some adventures But i mean, you know salah has turned up with his passport as well And in the end he just kind of says yeah, all right. I won't come But i don't like why wouldn't you why wouldn't you go? Surely you would go I feel like you've said suggests you would go And i think it would be in character from to go if his friend is wanted for murder and he's trying to prove that It's not through but he can't go For meta reasons, right? We're not going to have salah be a main character We got feeby wallabridge to take up the time and fucking teddy Or maybe find a fake passport and put him in a disguise because they put the wanted murder in One of the fucking airport and yelled his name It is so funny that he just goes give him hell indiana joe's right here murder a man And then uh, they undercut it too with the the car daily hits him and he's like, whoa Oh Yeah, I remember jokes funny I remember good jokes They're not in this movie, but you know There's somewhere somewhere So we got another flashback hooray it's just that uh Toby jones lost his mind and he asked that indy destroy the dial indy didn't destroy the dial Because this is a piece of shit It's this is another bit that may have confused me because i don't think i was paying enough attention because it's this Film but didn't he already have the dial in his possession? I think he was obsessed with the dial He tells indy that if he's going to get both party acid, why didn't he destroy the dial himself? Don't know. I think he was going to and indy stops him The scene starts with him with like a hammer and he's gonna destroy it and then he's like, what are you doing? And then it's like, well wait Why do you think indy's gonna destroy it if he's preventing you from destroying it? That's right belongs in a museum. He's taking it off you before you destroyed it He says he might find the other half and then you say well if you find the other half make sure you destroy it and then he says Yep I'll do that it belongs in a museum, but i'll definitely destroy it putting it into a museum He just puts it in his little drawer that yeah, he doesn't even put it in a museum. You're right. Yeah It's so fucking weird Yeah, they make of a total dick in this It's such a dick Yeah, he chooses the thing that satisfies everyone i'm definitely gonna do these things Anyway, I'm not gonna do any of those. I'm gonna fuck off and never see you again and not do what I said. Yeah So, um This is shot here that I genuinely was like did someone fuck up in the editing or is this just really the way they wanted it Right, so it begins with the flashback begins with A current day indiana jones sitting there looking at notes and numbers and stuff from I think toby jones stuff and he looks over at the window He sees a reflection of himself And then we move into it and it like moves into the flashback right like It's a pretty harsh cut. You thought that maybe they would try and sink it But it's like, okay, you know, that's just he's he's reminiscing fine. The scene ends the flashback I mean with uh, there's a shot where A young feeby wallabridge has walked up to the car to give him his hacks. He forgot it It's a very clean shot of her and the window Then it cuts over to him saying like, you know, I'll call you when I land or something like that It's a couple seconds then harsh cut to the airplane with feeby wallabridge looking at the Window with a reflection of her younger self in it. I was like, wait So why did you have that extra couple of seconds of indy getting the car ready and leaving when you want to match the Shot of her looking through the car window with the airplane window I was like editing wise. Surely you'd want to phase it so that that's it And then she's looking at a younger self. Wouldn't that make way more sense and be less clunky? I was a little bit confused by it. I thought it was like It looked almost as if that's the way it was and then someone changed it And keep in mind they had extra time with this movie. It was supposed to come out a while ago Along with a lot of other movies and they delayed it Due to quote-unquote covid and they were able to do a bunch of reshoots Well, they probably did a bunch of pickups and uh, you know, maybe there is something to spending too much time on Yeah, when he cooks in the kitchen sort of situation, but there's also they had to spend that fucking 300 million somehow I never would have guessed this like what would it cost to make a film that you see This thing. I'd be like no way. How the fuck did you waste how much money on this? A million and others appointed this out like the dune 2 is was 122 million Which comes across as an enormous brand new world that they've created while here It's just like how could you possibly have spent that much money? They had a lot of time with the script too also because of covid like production was halted and but it's so like contrived and devoid of humor Like you had all this time to work on it. Come on. What are um, the insurance costs like if your lead actor is 95 years old? Probably slight dress a little bit more than robert downey jr. An iron man when they couldn't in germ, but probably a lot So Yeah, with that information from salary arrives at the hotel She's already selling the dial of destiny at the moment he arrives So that means that if he was five minutes later, he might have been fucked forever They do that so much in this movie Just arrive at those at the right time and then all the factions that are involved in this movie Always happen to be at the exact thing. They need to be at all the time It's so distracting. It's like, oh, they went that way. Oh, guess we'll go there too. How did you get there? Uh, uh, just shut up It's like always like this weird thing where they I mean, it's later when he looks at through through through the uh, what are they called binoculars? It's like they're not going in this direction. That's shit. So funny They don't need those exactly where they are. It's like Once Well, you know, uh, we're at the like near alamak. I think of the film at this point Yes, right You know what happens at the near alamak in in crusade is is uh, you get shone connery added to the cast This you get teddy. He's he's added to the cast now You get shorter or rounder Shit short round basically, um For anybody who like doesn't remember if you rewatch temple of doom short rounds pretty cool He's there's a reason why everyone likes him pretty cool. He is Far more memorable than teddy. He's uh, he's a child character in what feels more like an adult Adventure movie that isn't annoying and cringe. Like that's what short round is. He said the bar a little bit He's actually like useful. He has some funny jokes and There's a bit of a meaningful relationship between him and indy teddy is just terrible I don't like if he's annoying and he's only there to uh, either complains or facilitates action particularly like his introduction It's like I have this paper mache Plane and have this random pilot guy. Tell me a thing. It's like, oh, you're going to fly a plane later That's all you're here for. I know exactly what you're doing It was a what a bizarre scene. It was the reverse for me when I saw him playing with that Pretend plane setup. I was like, what in the fuck is this? Why would they what is that for and then as soon as he's like, can you fly a plane? I was like, oh Come on I think I was in the same camp as metal. It's like, oh, he's going to fly a plane. It's going to be like, uh You know how like in 2012 good old gordon Like he that's just what he's there for it's like, well, we need someone to be able to fly the plane um But hey, it's it's chekov's weird He is like contraption that masquerades is a plane like controls Yeah, because they don't need someone who can fly a plane because there's a guy sleeping in the plane Wakes up to fly the plane A random guy as well And then of course there is the fact that just because you learned how to fly a plane with Sticks and dials a contraptions doesn't mean that you can perfectly fly a plane through a massive storm You're learning it as well You're learning it as well from a pilot who's drinking. Yeah, and he's giving you random bits of information Exactly What does he do with all that stuff the 99.9 of the times when there isn't a pilot sitting there drinking? Did you just sit there waiting for a pilot to turn up? Now that's the thing Has he got a briefcase filled with all these stupid little things and he just sets them up wherever he goes to play pretend Plane and hopes pilots turn up. Is that actually what he does? I don't know It happens every day there in morocco pilots just go through and you know I'll some mention that he is apparently supposed to be there to guard the door That was so fucking dumb dude, you know when he stops in the guy on that one door is like no, no, no Okay, let's go through the other door then I guess he stands up to indy and he's like this is invite only I was like if indy doesn't push past this little shit right now. I swear to god And he does thank fuck it's also revealed though that she's paid off the police in the bar So you think well, why aren't they guarding the entrance? Why have you just I don't know a tiny child. I got a vague impression. She might have been lying. I'm not sure Was she just saying that to say that or was it true? That's one of what it was true. I thought it was too, but like you're not sure Because the police don't come after her quite hard. Um, and those guys she apparently paid off don't help her in the fight Little platoon mentioned the sound mixing is freaking terrible in this movie Terrible and and it adds to the confusion So because we know that indiana jones films are known for shitty sound mixing bad editing confusing plots Oh, they're not wait a minute Oh, they're very that's the thing indiana jones films are very straightforward. This one was confusing like Remember we still got the cia is still involved in the plot somehow. Yes somehow They're still around they're doing things question mark Um, oh, yeah, this is another line really annoyed me indy's like this auction is over and then she goes oh contraire It's hardly begun I was just like what? It was that for the trailer like what the fuck was that line here? It just she tries so hard to be a movie star in this It's like I beg you to stop have any level of subtlety. I you'll be nice. That's all It's one of those moments as well. It did make me slight Well, no, I won't say reconsider the crystal skull because it is still shared But it did at least Make the crystal skull look better if you compare her introduction to mutts and what their characters can do and how they interact with indiana jones Mutt is, you know, he's talented in terms of physicality. He's headstrong. He's brash He's an idiot, but he can hold his own sometimes to a fault Um, but because he doesn't really know anything he reads books, but he doesn't read the right ones It's left to indy to play the mentor figure. He has a very clearly established role and the film lets him take the lead And virtually everything they do because mutt is not got any experience with this kind of thing If he'd be what a bridge is character by contrast. She is physically competent, but she's also very clever She's also very witty. She already knows everything he already knows Which basically forces him into the backdrop of every scene that they share together Whereas in that one at least he could still hold the mentor position Um, and it's it's just it's such a basic thing that even crystal skull got it right And this one didn't Yeah, I'll I'll give you that there's this stuff in crystal skull to point out Even if it's small about characterization and physicality as well Again a good way for people like mutt versus him and that they They bounce off each other in a more equal format than this where she's just like Well to give you an example. She says, um, I like your hat by the way makes you look at least two years younger And this is like why do you speak like you're from 2023 and that you're in a horrible like you She knows she's in a horrible indiana jones sequel Well, it's like she's performing in the audience. Yeah, really annoying Yeah, oh god is this or I mean it just doesn't stop because he's like, um You want to explain this to the cops out front? She says the ones I paid off you're out of your depth jonesy Fucking hell and like you have him go jonesy and to me. I just like yeah, man. I have to fuck What is this stop just stop talking and fucking beg of you It seems like the filmmakers were thinking the audience at moments like that would be like, I love this character She doesn't take shit from anybody. Yeah, that's a strong powerful woman right there Yeah, and so then uh, like shitty. She's like i'm the criminal. He's wanted for murder nice big picture in the new york herald Yes I don't like you stop it There's three times they remind you that indiana jones is wanted for murder And they don't talk about it's that's after it's mentioned for the third time There's no resolution with that at the end of the movie. Sorry to get ahead, but they they don't like He's just at home And then another instance as well of like weird tone Why we're meant to like this character who finds it hilarious that indiana jones Is being pursued for a crime he didn't commit the victims of which were people he knew I was like, oh funny funny. Yeah Like who the fuck is that innocent people who died where they may not have had she not been interested in selling the dial Exactly. So i mean, she's like she's a twat, but the film doesn't know Well, the film doesn't recognize that that's what's happening. It doesn't understand the implications of this dialogue No if you remove Helena scha from dial of destiny a lot of people will live Yeah, and the film would be like fucking 40 minutes long at that point, which would be nice Yes, um, so yeah indy's like this is my dial and then you have vola from the back is just like no, actually This is mine. And I was like, thank fuck the nazis are here. Yeah, just improve the story, please Um Yeah, uh indy's like wait, are you still a nazi? He's like, no, I'm from alabama university. My name is schmitt And it's very convincing And then he's yeah, this is the thing from the trailer is like this is uh, my property He's like, no, it's not you stole it and he's like, yeah, but then you stole it Then she says I stole it after that and it's called capitalism Oh Man, I I thought the whole point of cameras you you buy it not steal it, but I sure whatever you do you Mm-hmm plenty of criticisms that can be fun to levy against any economic system But this one just felt like uh again 2023 injection Uh, do I get points for saying this she looks right at the screen. She's like, yeah Gets points for saying this okay, all right And coming from disney of all companies, it's always funny coming for that. Yeah, it's yeah, come on So then everyone gets mad and everyone's getting tossed around and the dial is like bouncing from different characters It's one of those types of scenes that they're trying to recreate where it's like, oh now he has it Oh, now he has it Ola gets and just goes into an elevator and leaves It's like I'm done with this shit. I'm out of here. Um, there's a shot I don't know if you guys called it. I thought it was funny as fuck Where um Boyd Holbrook is like trying to I guess hold indy indy like moves and then punches him in the face And it just cuts to him flinging across the whole room and into a wall. I was like, holy Punch him with it like the power of the Hulk Uh, that happens a lot to him. He just gets abused in this film that dies Like that's his like I said, it was really weird for them to hire Boyd Holbrook for the whole movie just for that Don't see that very often expect. Um, you know the actor who's playing the chungus guy like I don't know him But that makes sense, right? He's like the muscle. He doesn't say anything throughout like the whole film That's the kind of actor you expect they grab for those roles. It's just um Yeah, I think as he's leaving volus says uh, see you in the past dr. Jones, which I was like, yeah, okay That's a line Um, yeah, so then the police arrive and our characters are Essentially captured by them It's like I was looking to be all over and then um, Phoebe wallabridge He says tell them to put their guns down tell them to back off and she says I told them to shoot you Yeah And again, it's like fuck me. What the hell? Yeah Give me something to like this character. Who's thinking she's so much fun. Just like no, she's an awful human being What do you mean? Yeah Oh, by the way, the image on screen right now that is from that scene and uh, yeah Indy is as bewildered in that poster as he is throughout the whole movie pretty much That's not the face you want to see on him. But hey, why not? That is kind of the resting face. He has throughout this entire film. I agree Uh, before they leave the building is one of the dumbest fucking shots They used it in the trailer too Where they all point their guns at indiana jones, right? And then you have ducks and they all fire their guns and they break shadow the window behind them And they're still shooting at the window. Yeah, like they don't like point down to where he's ducking And it's just like this is stu this looks stupid on its face Like yeah, it was supposed to be a very very clever inversion of the shot with the swordsman in um In raiders So obviously and then that one he's waving his sword around and then he pulls the gun and shoots him And this one indy's waving his whip around and they all pull guns on him and go to shoot him Except that they then overreact that by just carrying on machine gunning a window for no very good reason It's kind of interesting to point out as a an inversion because the point of the original scene is that the gun wins that fight Whereas in this movie, it's like, well, no, but that's indiana jones. So he can't die here He died a long time ago They used this shot in the trailer. I couldn't believe it like this is so dumb Well, they thought it was a really good joke clearly. They thought it was a good joke Yes, yeah, and I think this is the last time that he uses his whip It's for this might be right. Oh, you yeah, you might be right I mean, he uses it twice once I think on the roof of the train And then they're here in one of the dumbest scenes in the whole movie and then he never again he doesn't use it to swing over a gap or like That's it. Yeah, no more whip established really quickly and writers in that entire opening sequence is like multiple instances of him using the whip And not just as a weapon, but as a tool like you said Right. Well, yeah swing over something swing over a chasm The only reason it's here is because it's like, whoa, it's indiana jones. He has a whip But we couldn't think of any creative ways to employ the whip So the police get scared off and we're like wait, what's happening and it turns out the mob boss is here And legit at this point in the film I was so like I was like, I'm gonna need to watch this twice to have any fucking understanding of the hell is going on Yeah, because apparently that that mob boss was sleeping with Hannah Shaw Well, it's what it was salad referenced. He gave her bail money this guy and apparently right well, uh, I think um Uh, indy says, what do you owe this guy and she says, oh just some bail money and a lifetime of happy does Oh There's even um the guys I think the guy says I was I was sleeping my father woke me up He gave me a scimitar and told me to return with your head And then the camera like tightens up on a fucking face and she goes. Oh dear. Does it have to be that bit? Uh, yeah, it's gonna fucking knife to a throw. It's just like I beg you to take it seriously for one second Because this will be this because this becomes apparent throughout the film in terms of the ways that they try to do jokes In the older niana jones films are like those films are pretty funny Um, but they're like situations where the characters are reacting to them in a manner that is reflective of them being like human beings Um, like that they want to live or that they're scared or the angry or whatever like it's it's always Um, I feel like the clearest example of that would be um, you know how like uh When uh in temple of doom when he encounters those two guys with swords and he reaches for his gun and it's not there And then he kind of like does a smirk and then then fights It's not like he recognizes that he's in a movie and that this is a funny moment It's funny to us as viewers But to him it's like a situation. He has to try and get his way out of whereas here It's like it's always it's like they know that they're in a movie being watched by an audience It's just like for death. Yeah, I'll I'll say like his issues aren't you know Like indiana jones and the portrayal like we've been through all the issues with that It's got nothing to do with him recognizing. He's in a movie. She's got that in spades. That's like her primary Fucking issue. It makes me really hard to take her seriously as an actress because I Seriously if I was like casting I should be like, can you can you I get it? Yeah, can you stop? Um, so then uh, then they decide to run away and they do it successfully like All these people have guns the guy wants to kill her He has a knife on her and then they just turn around and run And avoid all the gunfire. It's it's one of the shittiest quote-unquote escapes from capture ever But the thing is this movie and that's one of the first things like you mentioned to me Fring when you saw it was like the amount of times characters get captured and released in this film for just any reason Just like now you're captured. No, you're not. No, you are. No, you are. No, you're not It just keeps happening over and over and over again There's the the one that annoys me most is uh, teddy later that one is so fucking unforgivable But it's it's all right. Well, uh, what about this incredible action scene the chase begins Um, but it begins with a little bit of a back and forth one that we all really enjoy and saw a clip of some of us We're lucky enough to see this clip uh circling on twitter It's the uh, the one where he goes, uh, I'm not gonna take No, yeah Indy says I'm not the one who's engaged to a monster and then she says I don't need a morality lesson from an aging grave robber He says I'm not a grave robber your father and I did important work And she says don't tell me your escapades with some noble selfless quest you did it for the buzz He saved an entire village of children It's actually painful to listen to because that's essentially where it ends. We don't get more on that We don't get anything from You get to the point. We're just like, but can we punch her in the face? We allowed or is that? Can we go to that beg you? It's uh Really annoyed to listen to as a person who obviously sees the other movies They expect you to have seen the other movies to what are you watching this and just to listen to someone say all that shit. You're like Okay No, because like he's her godfather. So she probably knows about these stories Well, yeah, and she should know from the notes, I guess about all the things he's done in relation to like The sacrifices he's made I guess Yeah And like how obviously it's the he could have made several choices along all these adventures that would get him lots of Money and more fame and whatever but he ends up sacrificing elements of himself and of the treasures Well often he does that because I mean he laid the archetype for like what a lot of these action adventure stories Like like unshartered does it all the time where like the the treasure is something that they have to let go because it's cursed Or it's not worth it And it's like what do you think that comes from it's like indiana jones like set that up as an element Um, and then there's just the fact that he he does many obviously heroic things I don't even know why she would make that kind of observation, especially if she knows who he is Like he saved he saved thousands of children When he's funny, he says like, you know, I'm not the one engaged to a monster It's like she is a monster and indy knows this already. He's got enough now Like she's she's a horrible piece of shit And it doesn't make sense because her inspirations were her dad and indiana jones. Why the hell does she turn out to be such a fucking asshole Yeah, and she's trying to convince everyone that she's a monster too and like Why I'm really convinced Well, yeah a little bit You got me um Though did anyone else uh Almost thrown out of the whole fucking movie when bearing mind logistics now when they Got down outside of the hotel vola was driving away. They were like fuck The police arrived. We did all of that then the mob boss arrived We did all of that then they escaped by running get into a truck turn a corner and indy goes there vola is we got him Like that's actually just that's the logistics they cross a corner and vola is just there Yeah, just keep doing it They keep bumping into them then losing them then bumping into them in this massive city this massive very populated city And then follow just looks up the thing And just as I guess he just assumes that's indy yeah and her Like there's no way he could see that he's like go go quicker. Uh, that's like which is weird, right? Because he should have assumed they'd be following him anyway, and now he's like oh no go faster. It's like shouldn't you've been going faster? You also can't see them. It's no you can't know. It's like a random one of these. I don't even know what you call these Try tricycle thingies They lose him again Right. Yeah, they start going down different pathways. They've got cars following them They find a pathway that's not too small that they can't get through but definitely too small for other cars They go through They head down this huge staircase and there's this cut with a the little car They're in is going across it and it's it would clearly tilt so far forward It would just roll down the entire thing then editing saves them and they go back to all four wheels being on the ground It's like You see over the incredible part where what's her name just talks about how awesome she is in the middle of the chase Yeah That's not yet. That's after this. Oh is that afterward? Yeah, yeah mix them up Don't worry cringe is on the way On the way So they they crash it right and then those two see vola drive past them Like they went a completely different direction. They fell down this whole staircase and then vola's just like here I have a it's like fucking scooby-doo Just don't care anymore It's funny as well because the she's she offers to drive. He's like, I know tad jeer It's like you don't need to know it. You just he just turns out you keep bumping into him anyway But yeah, uh, they get out and get into their own little vehicle He resets the one they're in so now they've got the two of them and they both catch up to vola And that's when they have the back and forth where uh He says I mean the line you were referencing. I'm trying to because I've got a couple quotes here. Hang on Fucking All of this seemed so annoying and you realize as you're watching it Like this is supposed to match up to some of the best action scenes in indiana jones. This was supposed to be such a joke Also, I guess the the fucking cars can't Shouldn't the the cars be faster than these three? Yes Drysicle thingies. Yes Yeah, like not even close I remember from uh, uh top gear when jeremy Clarkson was riding the three wheel thing I'm turning falling over Yeah, he says would your father be proud of this his only daughter selling herself a bale money And then I think she says like oh you make it sound awesome or something I'm just like why sell your soul for money. Why isn't that like the classic that does not sound awesome thing? Okay, um, and then he says how did you end up like this and she says like what resourceful daring beautiful self-sufficient So just don't don't write like that like don't do that Don't write like um and the annoying thing is I imagine people are like Oh, but you like tony stark and he did the same thing. Yeah, he did the same thing and then get immediately rebuked by steve immediately And also it's feeding into like a broader thing that they're running for tony about that and he was under the effects of the Fucking mine stone Yeah, so the point being that there's a whole bunch of context in there that explains that line The counters that line and then builds up like character down the line. This goes nowhere This is just her making a definitive statement to the audience about how cool she is That's lame. That sucks. It's she's performing for the audience. She's not a character in this world I'm great and wonderful Yeah Yes, she's like what what don't you like about me that i'm self sustaining strong or something like that or That's like Indiana Jones heroine has ever had to say before because it's usually been self-evident to people It's that any man who must say I am the king moment like Mario never needed to say that Because she was all of those things already and we could see that through her actions and through her interactions And she was also more complex because she was she was Through introduction and beautiful But she was also quite sort of brutal and masculine Which he needed to be and she could fight and she was a bit uncouth and she was a complex reasonably well fleshed out character for the day As a and she didn't ever need to tell anyone what her qualities were because they were so evident to us Mario's introduction she wins a drinking fight Contest I should say and then She stands up to the Nazis who'd fucking arrive in a bar that she presumably takes care of right? It's like you've already got loads there versus Phoebe wallabridge's introduction Which is lying through a teeth to try and steal something she wants to sell and gets two people murdered because of it Cool Phoebe wallabridge beautiful suspension of disbelief shattered I mean But you do buy that she'd say it about herself I guess right resourceful daring beautiful self-sufficient It's just like I guess maybe james mangold would say like get it. She's ego driven. I feel like okay Yeah, we got On that note. I got it. I gotta bug out moller. Sorry guys That's okay I didn't expect to be able to grab you for as long as this will go on especially since we're only halfway through but um I get the vibe that you enjoyed it and that you're gonna be Put it in your collection. You're gonna get the hot toy of uh Phoebe wallabridge That was right behind me in a in a very special place. Did kind of was I make one? That would be hilarious In any case, cool, thank you for joining us and uh, I'm assuming you're gonna be Doing coverage of this and imagine I am right back to working on my video. So yes, and I'm sure we'll talk about it on bbc And I wish I could stay the whole time because there's so much more stupid to get to. Oh, yeah The antonio bandaris Don't even know he's in this movie Dude, his acting is so bad in this. It's nobody gave a shit bad But it was an honor and a pleasure to be on efap again. Thanks guy great talking you guys Well, thank you so much for joining us and yeah links in description for new draughtx channel who As was said it's gonna have plenty of coverage of this film to come as well as some other things disney marvel Whoever else are up to in the media sphere Maybe witcher too. Maybe some witcher in case anyone watched it Because I like punishment I'll uh, I'll see you tuesday. I'm a good man Tuesday take care guys great talking you later, man. Like for you Oh In the past that's a good. Oh, I should have said see you in the past. Yeah What a great line So, uh, the all these like the whole it. Oh, sorry. I was gonna say all the cars clash and the The vola man end up shooting the shit out of the the mobster man by like accident So that kind of makes things easier and everyone who keeps trying to take shots at feeble wall of bridge is stopped by Mobster man because he's like no actually. I love here or something. It's a fucking wacky and annoying scene very very cartoony He means really funny and entertaining. I didn't want to kill myself at all lying. Why are you lying to me? Yeah, you're right. I didn't want I didn't want to kill myself. But uh, you're gonna say something about the scene overall, john Something about how much you love it The whole at whole action scene is very flat generic Um, there weren't any shots where it's just like, oh my god. I can't believe they pulled that off You know, it's just very flat Uh, there are a couple things where like there's one where indy's car gets just demolished by a bus and like That's kind of cool. But whatever Guy drives into a bunch of sticks. It's like kind of gnarly, but seen it before Uh, the the large pursuing vehicle getting pinched into a narrowing alley. I've seen before like there's a simpsons gag with that that comes to mind And uh, I think it was in one of the mission impossibles. I think it was fallout Where the uh, they did exactly that basically it's just a bunch of stuff. I've seen plenty of times before None of them none of those shots were particularly innovative Um, yeah more meh There's also this in the I mean not to be a broken record on the point But this was the one when I really thought yeah the sound mixing in this is completely broken If you do go back and compare it to any chase sequence any car sequence any fight sequence from any of the older films Those are given character because quite often say engine sounds are muted or dulled down So you can very clearly hear what the mood of the thing is supposed to be and it's a much clearer transition from Threat in fight to comedy in fight is when the music is allowed to convey that emotion Whereas this one all you can hear is cars crashing took took engines going whiny and It's so loud You can't make anything out very clearly and that gives the whole thing this Especially combined with like the weightless comedic lines from Phoebe water bridge The whole thing then just seems completely inconsequential because there's no character to it because it's so loud You can't have any space for character to really come through which doesn't help when you've got uh There's several moments. I remember a spine of Phoebe water bridge doing the thing where she's holding like the steering wheel But she's just going left right left right left right left right while the scene's happening It's like yeah, I'm driving that's what drivers do it's like Nailing it Um swerving all over the road But they uh, they actually fail to get the dial from vola and They have to regroup but vola ends up Driving directly into the cia He's captured by them again I guess after he almost like almost gets his head taken off by Phoebe water bridge choking him with a cable or something It's another example of how you don't introduce this guy as a threatening villain because he he gets out of these things by pure luck He blunders into them. He's incompetent and he's either saved by incompetent henchmen or just by luck Phoebe water bridge happens to let go of his neck before she breaks it Um, I don't feel anything from this villain. He's so underwhelming and he's got such presence He could be so good, but this is how you don't ride villains. I think well So I didn't fucking buy is like how does she end up in that position? It's like well She rips off a part of their own car And then slams that like piece of metal into theirs to use as leverage to jump over and be attached to it Smashes the window open and then grabs the dials like pouch from I think that's what it is That she's strangling vola with from the back of the car I remember watching all of it and be like I don't buy this not whatsoever She would have died like three different times already. This is fucking insane Uh, just very awkward. Yeah, but Yeah, that's that's the end of that chasing is um Wow, you know It just went on for so long as well. It's just it's interminable chasing Well, and it's a chasing that kind of it came out of no way like I said the catching up to vola thing should have been impossible It's just like yeah, but we need to have our chasing. You're like, oh, okay Well, then do something better. Maybe how about that? Um, yeah, and that's just after the scene engine is when she says um, if only there was someone there for me Some father figure someone anointed with the job and he says you have no idea And then she says ah, don't beat yourself up about it. I mean, what even is a godfather? Family was never your strong suit Wow, yeah Again, it's just like why do you you like want me to hate her surely Yeah Um, then she says what's the time and he realizes his wristwatch has been stolen by fucking teddy And then he says give me that back. It was my father's and then they agree to give it back to him And you just sit and they're like I'm watching a movie with fucking indiana jones is getting a shit stolen from him and he's abused and made fun of And pathetic and desperately just trying to kill himself like why? Why why why? So, um, they need to fix this stupid little thing and then they need to make their next move, uh, but we Cut back over to the cia with vola and they say they pull in the plug on your operation because your associates killed three civilians And blew up a televised parade and you stood up the president and then created an incident in morocco that required extraction I thought it was so funny that killing three innocent civilians on tv and required an extraction from an explosive chase in morocco Is listed alongside standing up the president Yeah, like, um Sure, I get yeah, that that's yeah sure And uh in response to that he's like I could explain this Just let me let me explain it and uh, she said they want you to vanish And you put them on the moon Which means they got what they wanted To be uh mentioned earlier. So that's it the cia ain't playing his games anymore Damn it. So he kills them all Yay, wait what some It's kind of retarded. Uh, for some reason his men are allowed to freely walk around with their weapons in this Fucking plane and it's like, shouldn't they be arrested? No, I don't understand why are we treating this like you can just kill innocent people and it doesn't matter What's going on? I don't understand because movie and um, yeah, uh Boyd Holbrook just sprays people in the face with his special kind of knockout gas. I don't know what it is and uh Then the big guy like beats people up and knocks them out and then they start tossing people out the the plane in general And it's just like yeah, fuck the cia you're all dead now An agent lady tries to do something to volar and then she gets shot and she's like damn you And dies And then there's the weird reveal that doesn't really mean anything to anyone who's involved in the scene when she says She she a cut she addresses him. Is it schmitt his his fate? Yeah, and he says it's not schmitt. It's Uh, I keep forgetting his name. It's um Something volar What does that mean to her? Also she's dying Dude, it was so funny if she just went who? She and the audience alike, but like what Given the scene we had earlier as well when you know The reason we were supposed to believe that he's still an evil bastard nazi is that he's basically a big evil racist And here he is killing a black cia police woman Um, could you maybe have played back into that and have him shown his hand a bit more that this is a really nasty piece of work As opposed to like a boring run of the mill nazi piece of work But no, it's just yeah, this is my real name by now. Bye. Okay And again, uh cut out all the cia stuff and we just shave like at least 20 minutes off the movie and it changes nothing Why what's the point of the cia shit? Maybe they realize it was really stupid and it's like just killed them all so we don't have to deal with it anymore That's how it feels that that scene is literally just the cia like hey, we still don't like what you did and he's like dead now Stop. Yeah, just know you Oh That's that good stuff. You did it amazing Um, so then we begin the next scene with them fixing the thing and teddy says do you know the right brothers? They were born in indiana too It's just like fuck me And uh indiana jones is like i wasn't born in indiana and they were born during the civil war And he's like i thought you went to school with them and then Before you can whether or not you want to appreciate it as a joke feby wall of bridges walks onto the screen and says Come on admit. That's funny Dialogue man Do you think she wrote that line herself probably she had another she had her other character come in and say Yeah, no that line. I just wrote was really funny and you really have to admit that Stop it woman. Please always see that as the cinematic double downing of like let's get a bit more laughter We can get a little bit more if we have a character in universe acknowledge how funny that was and laugh a bit more The thing is it has to be very funny for that line then to work and it like even if you think there's a little Titter in there somewhere. It's not hilarious. It's just kind of Run of the mill humor and then yeah then being told that that was funny by a character who was supposed to celebrate for her witch Really just kind of undermines that character. I don't think she has a sense of humor Certainly not fucking from this judging from this film because like I said I guess we've been labeling some of the jokes as they've come up But I think I missed plenty of them because I just didn't even realize jokes were happening. I was like this is dull um And yeah, they're fucking around and then he says I'm wanted for murder I'm stuck in tangier with two thieves. Nazis have half of the dial and the notebooks Basically indy saying like this is horrible bad terrible And then she's just like oh, don't worry. I've memorized all the important parts of the notes And it fucking it hit me like a truck in the head. I was just like Do you listen to anything you just said it's not I don't care whether or not you memorize the notes I was like Fucking nazis have the notebooks. That means they have the expertise like she's not even listening. She doesn't even care And she never actually gives a shit about anything. It's just it's just yeah You sit there and you just feel bad for an already like terrible hobo indy anyway um And yeah, and she she just does a thing of like the graphic hose is probably in this location My dad figured it out and then indy is like what if the code is in linear b as opposed to polybius and then She's like Then he says ha ha you need me And I was so sad that we actually have a part of the film where indy has to argue his usefulness Yeah, yeah, no kidding. It's fucking sad To her too Please please keep me along for the ride guys. Don't be useful. I promise. I'm okay. I promise Um Sad Yeah, which uh, some of the things like how my dad taught taught me this one when I was nine It's like, okay. Good for you. I guess And uh, we move on to this is the introduction of antonio van deris, which I I had no Did anyone know he was in this film before seeing the film? No, I didn't even know no until you just told me I was I didn't in the first shot of him. I didn't recognize him And in the first shot of him, I thought it was him, but I was like, there's no way that's like how would Why isn't there been any marketing with antonio van deris? It's like what isn't he a isn't he an actor? Like last time I checked I thought Okay, because he's not in any of the trailers either. I don't think or at least I don't remember seeing him So I was like Fine, I guess he's here now And the idea is they need to go to a shipwreck that is out of the range of normal like divers But uh, indy has a friend Uh in spain who's going to be able to he's like a frog man who can go way deeper than a lot of people And it's like okie dokie But he's going to help him get to that and they believe that's where the Graphicos will be and the graphicos will tell you where the second half of the dial will be Again, uh, I gotta admit. I wasn't following that on my first time through. I was just like, okay We're going here now. I don't know And it's like we've got to get the thing that gets the thing. It's like sure Totally fine. Yeah, exactly. I thought the same thing at that point it became very formulaic Where it's just like, okay, you getting the thing that points to the more important thing It's like them getting the tablet in venice and like, um Crusades Where this okay, I get what we're doing now This this that that movie ends Um So yeah, I didn't recognize him at all. Antonio banderos. I just checked the character. I was like, oh, yeah, sure. That is him From what I gathered they leave at night And they're on the boat and they're all having like a back and forth about Just stuff. They're just chilling out until they get to the location obviously And uh, she's doing card tricks and she impresses Antonio banderos and then she shows indie That he picks the card that she wants him to and he says in a trick deck and then she says no I offer the mark the feeling of a choice But ultimately make them pick the card I want and then it cuts back to indian just goes The mark and then walks off The one like this is like the second thing in the movie. I liked I was like, ah, that's nice That's him basically saying fuck you Like uh, you you've treated me like the mark throughout the whole film when I'm supposed to be someone who matters to you And I care about you and this is how you've treated me throughout the whole thing She even has like a sad face because she realizes what he means by that But I mean It's hard to give credit to the film for something that like it's it's like solving or at least dealing in somewhat ways problems It's caused itself like things that shouldn't have happened anyway And it's like slightly acknowledging them and it makes me feel slightly better Than misery and so I feel like complimenting everybody. I really shouldn't you don't really earn shit. So Just saying I like to point these things out though because it's not, you know I'm not that mean to films, right guys No, you should be though um Yeah, and then he says it's about the dial I don't believe in magic, but a few times in my life. I've seen stuff that I can't explain Sometimes it ain't what you believe, but how hard you believe them or believe in them Don't really know I am unconvinced by that line. I don't yeah Through and everything he's done uh There are other similar ish lines in the older films But none of them if anything they all kind of convey that there is Magic, so there's the one in in last crusade when it might actually be Henry jonesini who says that you're meddling with powers. You can't possibly comprehend He's seen the arc open. Obviously. Um, he's seen voodoo work. Yeah He's he's experienced quite a lot of magic what we would absolutely consider magic. Yeah, I don't see It seems like a weird line come out of it, and I don't know how it relates to this film at all like Um, I don't believe in magic, but you know, it ain't what you believe and it's how hard you believe it It'd be like, what are you saying? Does that mean does that mean the only reason when the arc opened all of the nazi's faces melted and theirs would have done If they'd looked at it is that they believed it too hard And if they simply didn't well not hot enough and it wouldn't have happened I don't know because again with the antikythera in this film like what does what does it mean to believe hard when it's Like yeah, it's a mechanical device I took it as just some vague statement about faith, but it didn't really land I feel like the last crusade fucking nailed that shit, especially with those three challenges Yes, but like this one. I don't know what the fuck it was trying to say I just don't like india at this age after everything he seemed would probably be like, yeah, this shit's real This shit happens. This is a lot of it. There's a lot about the world. I can't explain and You know, that'll be that'll be fine. You can make something out of that instead of making it to say like You just gotta believe hard. I don't even know if you say you should believe hard. I don't know I don't know what he's fucking trying to say. Like I said, I don't relate to we won't be coming back to that statement That's just something he says And that's just something he says And then she says something where I was just like fuck me they have no imagination She says the only thing with believing in it ever is cash Yeah, I'm like, uh, okay Right, I already know people would be like, what do we what there are people who think that and I'm like, no It's not that it's just what a fucking lame character. She is with everything that's happened everything and then the water she say I only believe in cash. She's like Yeah, um Yeah, I mean she hangs around with um with teddy because there's a friendship familial ish relationship going on there and She's clearly slightly bitter about her dad going a bit mad She's already demonstrated attachments which are non financial in this film The film feels that it would count to you platoon. It would be like, yeah, we know we're pointing that out We remember the scene where he's like a person who only cares about cash wouldn't have remembered their whole father's journals or whatever Yes, yeah, so the film's like, ah, see indy's like prying into her He's trying to prove to her that she cares more than just about cash Which uh, I think is paid off then in the form of you see she puts a lot of work into Specifically saving indy not even for money or whatever I just feel like that's obviously what you were going for I just think you did a such a fucking horrendous job of it because the idea is that she always in the middle Right the stuff in the middle where she does act purely because of monetary concern The implication is that she's always cared about people That's what they're trying to say because teddy is way older than the events of this film as well as her caring about her father You see that person was always there. She just hides it and it's like no, she's awful She does so much in this film where she doesn't care at all about anybody Like the only the only I've seen people point this out It's like what made her care about indy in this film It's like well It just seems to be the fact that he saves her life enough times where he does enough nice things that she's like, you know I guess he isn't a horrible piece of shit That I want dead She's like fuck me guys Like and again a lot of these things come from things that I don't even know if james mangled noticed Like I don't even know that she is aware that she's caused several people to die I don't I don't know that he knows that The stuff that like isn't considered in the arc it's more so she's kind of a nice person. Yeah, okay sure She sells some stuff that she finds Fine for a bit of money. She's trying to survive. That's okay, but ultimately she's actually a really good person deep down I don't think the film quite realizes the character that they've written like not really So she says what would you do if you could go back in time witness the trojan war check out on clear patra And then he says I'd stop my son from enlisting She says did he do it to please you No, he did it to piss me off And uh to stop him he would have told him he's gonna die that his mother would find no end to a grief and that his father Would be helpless to console her and the loss would put an end to their marriage In isolation. I think that scene is really well performed. I think does a really good job acting it Any sense within the context of the characters that they've been built up or the stories that have previously been told Or everything we know about the people involved in them Uh, I really wanted to like that scene um It's just yeah, then you have to connect it to you know past events and they contradict it First of all it fucking sucks that she's in the scene at all because uh I like I hate that he's sharing this with someone who's such a fucking asshole But secondly, do you remember what she says back to him when he says all that and he's walking away? Anybody She says you're still wearing the ring Oh, oh, yeah, right. I actually wanted to kill myself. I was like, well, but why would you even point that? Are you dense woman? Like he doesn't want to be a straight from his fucking wife Of obviously it's the kind of thing that I almost feel like wait, did did you point that out for us? I know he's wearing the ring. I could see the fucking ring in several scenes. I get why he's wearing the ring That's one of the most obvious storytelling things ever And then just as an etiquette thing someone tells you like yeah, my whole life got ruined because my son died Then you go Wow Still wearing the ring though Yeah, I think oh cool She is an idiot. Yeah Of course, I know I'm wearing the fucking ring. I put it on It makes this sound like his if he she wanted a response from me be like that's true I guess, you know in some ways. I don't feel like it's the end of our marriage How about that? It's also fucking hideously inappropriate It's hideously inappropriate. It's also it's not just the death of the character I mean that that one admission is basically the death of every potentially Better alternate story we could have had Um And that's what made the scene I guess annoying on a meta level is that there's some Considerable merit in having a passing of the torch moment between indy and his son If you wanted to carry this thing on if you wanted to you know, have a younger hero You could cast indy in the role of his father again as mentioned earlier You could have his son like falling away from him and then they have to come back together And then you could start a whole new series of films with indy and jones' son And it could actually be half decent if people could still remember how to write things But no because Phoebe water bridge, I guess But no, so to kill off the the only character who really has potential going forward for the future And that is that is the end of the franchise though. It should have ended years ago anyway, but and again It really comes across as spiteful and cruel to me. It's just like you didn't you didn't have to kill him Who just had him not in the film could have recast him could have done anything you killed him You ended that story like, okay It's like, yeah, but we wanted to make indy really fucking sad. You're like, right I think like it is mutt that kind of you know from his bare bones characterization in in crystal skull I would have thought enlisting would be the opposite of the thing he would do Because so actually based on his authority a story idea could have been the Because indy had enlisted he could have mutt being like fuck going to war that shit's stupid And then indy could be like no, it's it's incredibly important to fight for your country It's the freedoms we enjoy or a result of all the men and women who do this that and the other and so And he could inspire mutt to then go to war and then if he got killed that kind of backstory would way way heavier Right, like the idea that indy inspired him to do service for the country that got him killed But instead they sell it as he did it to piss me off and then he died Oh, you know, I I occasionally have arguments with my parents and do drastic things like going and joining the army and fighting the rack For example, that's a thing that just happens I mean, it's only some odd things to do really So, yeah, uh, it's all you know as as was said, I I do agree in isolation The performance was pretty strong from it's nice to see Harrison Ford acting every once in a while You're in there um Then the next scene starts it's the morning and she's uh, she's pulled out a flask from some draw and she's like Promising because it might be alcohol in there. Then she sees a guy walk past it without a shirt on and she goes more promising it was um It's weird enough on its own because you're just like, okay We're doing that. I don't I don't know why this like it's just more things for Phoebe Wallabridge's characters pile on I guess because you wonder like is this going to be an aid of anything? Unfortunately, it only adds to some problem. I'm gonna have a little bit later. We'll get there and then she finds dynamite and uh Presumably pockets it there I don't know because she's gonna have it later, but Uh, indy looks like it takes it off her and puts it back. So I don't know He doesn't even just put it back He takes it off and he kind of throws it back into the draw. Yeah, that's kind of risky if that dynamite is old I've seen the last I remember what happens when dynamite gets old and people have mishandled it and it explodes randomly So it's kind of lucky that it was in fairly good condition because he just threw it back into the draw And they could have all died in that moment What film are you making me think of when you say that? There's an episode of last where it happens Could be lost and I'm thinking of what visual am I thinking about is some story where the yeah, there is old explosives But they're so old that just uh moving them enough will make them explode. What is that? Chat help me out. I want to read some of your examples and then see if it is kind of annoy me I can picture it, but I can't think of what it's from I'm thinking is I've got the imagery of like an explosive that's like, uh, so to speak bleeding Yeah, that's it. Well, it might be from something else as well But that episode of lost is they have to try and open one of the doors to a vault somewhere and they found some very old dynamite It's bleeding. It's kind of all moldy and leaking and congealed and they have to carry it out really carefully They carry it all out And then they think they've disarmed it and the guy who's been teaching them how to do it Lift one up and says and if you do this with it and he goes bang Lord people saying it could be well well west that might actually be a because I watched that a bunch when I was a kid, but I don't remember It wasn't jango Uh, I can't remember what sets off the dynamite there So people saying hot fuzz. It's definitely not hot fuzz. I know that back to from that memory No, they'd be thinking about the mine, but that was that was typically a little mechanism getting activated It's not quite the same. It could be it could be lost as well. I'd have to check. Oh the rock. Maybe Maybe maybe I need to rewatch that So, uh, the kid isn't coming with because he can't swim something that they tell us that only has a Anti-pay off and that's it And by that I mean he swims Let's say the guy says no anyone can swim It's just was it pull and kick is that what he says and then Later on we supposed to buy that that's how he figured out how to swim was that guy saying that it's that easy Yeah, apparently I had a friend who never learned to swim and he has still never learned to swim and he has tried several times And we've told him in theory how the thing works But there's a big difference between sort of understanding in theory and deploying in practice But yeah, this is this is what the film considers set up and pay off I guess Um, they go relatively deep and he says to avoid the bends you just go down and then come back up within three minutes I I just thought it was funny. It felt like the film was like. Yeah. Yeah, shut up. We'll be fine We're not dealing with that shit. Okay That can't be that's right. I'm fucking I'm I'm doing the googling to figure that shit out I just I feel like the film is like, please don't look it up Please don't look it. Yeah. I thought the idea was to avoid an abrupt change in pressure But that's what I thought too that the bends was specifically that it was very quick And then the way that to the point that uh, yeah, like they're just meant to be a slower decompression There's what yeah, no idea. You're supposed to go down slowly go up slowly But it sounds like yeah, it sounds like it's actually the opposite of what the film says But I don't know. I have no idea Google away so They I mean this can be summarized relatively quickly they go down they find a chest It's for some reason covered in electric eels or are they even electric eels? There's regular eels No, they're just eels, but get it. They're like sea snakes for the problem is he's The reason why I was wondering if they were electric eels because he says if you get bitten by one It'll lock your jaw No, no, no says they will lock their jaw Oh, they lock their jaw good because I was gonna say like There's no fucking way those things were electric eels with the results they get but the thing is Indiana Jones is attacked by like a horde of them Oh, yeah, it's a lot I was just gonna say if there was any damage they could do then surely it was done, you know But there's there's no I mean he gets shot in this film and he doesn't care So why would I even bring up the eels not much point on that? Um, so they get that they open up the thing there's the Or I could they bring up the chest or whatever anyway bad guys arrive and How did they know to be here? I think it's because they had the notes. They based it off the notes I think sorry Because I know this is one a lot of people said they just fucking turned up here And it's like I think the film wanted us to believe that they did it because of toby jones's notes That's all I got Yeah, I mean I was kind of unclear on that point I guess you'd have to run with that because there's no other explanation for how they could possibly have got there And yeah, they launch they go down they find the chest remember They got a three minute cap and then they see like There's a bit of conversation back and forth discovery Then we see a ship in the distance and then they get to their ship and get to the point where They're fucking around on their ship before they've even come back up and I was just like the time You doesn't seem right at all Oh, no, it's like super far away and then we cut to below the water and they're just there immediately It's like oh that's And so now to help explain we've got four people deep underwater you have uh at the deepest point in the ship is Indiana Jones feeble wall bridge and I think antonio bandiris is a little bit further up The guy at the highest point is shirtless guy that she thought was hot, right? He's just on lookout. I guess he's just sort of sitting there They cut his wire And so he just like he's struggling to breathe and then he falls off the cliff's edge and just drowns I thought this was fucking crazy because first of all, he's experienced He's a literal like considered a frog man like the in terms of profession. He doesn't pull his um lifesaving thing Isn't that like the obvious thing to do? I found it very confusing I wasn't sure why that had happened. It's even worse. Not only does he not do that Nobody does that for him. They all just watch him as he drowns. I was just like Oh by Absolutely fucking insane Get him out of the pitch for as quickly as possible so that I don't have to deal with him anymore Yeah, he's just out and then the others uh, they start coming up and they pull their lifesaving things So they just like propel it really fast because you know air pressure blah blah blah um That was lame and then I was just thinking about the fact that it's like oh, yeah that guy He only existed to be called hot by Phoebe wallabridge and then drown That's weird Very weird So much for that guy riparoo, uh But yeah, the the bad guys now will have the graphic coast. They've taken over the ship It's just another moment of we've been captured because it just keeps on happening um So the scenario now is they're all on the ship Antonio Banderas is there And uh the question from volar is basically translate the graphic coast to us You know now and jones is like No, and the first thought I had was like dude. Why don't you just translate it wrong? Take the information in for yourself and just tell them it means something else It's not like the obvious thing to do. That's what fucking Phoebe wallabridge ends up doing Not indiana jones. He's not clever enough to do that. She is though For those lamest fuck. It's like it's a language. They don't remotely recognize you could have made up literally anything And then read what it actually is for yourself That happens quite a lot. I mean you remember like multi-verse of madness when wander takes wong up to the the evil doom temple And he's the only one who can possibly translate and she's got nothing holding over him anymore And he just helps her because that's what the plot needs him to do at that given moment rather than misdirecting her Um, there's a few other things like that. I've come out recently I'm trying to think of another specific example But yeah, this this idea that you can only either help the bad guy or die Because that's the only two options the script could conceive of When it's so obvious that you could do something so much better than that Just lie and misdirect and there's no way they could possibly know you were lying to them But Fuck it. Here we are. That would be difficult apparently Well, the plot would come to an end at that point Oh, yeah, it must keep going. We can't have that because the plot wouldn't carry on It's not like you have other options for writing like to make it to make it work. Mm-hmm One part of this problem is it's like all right, indiana. You're pretty experienced They've asked you to do a thing and you've said no. What do you think happens next? Several people in the room you care about. I mean we I mean it literally happened in the last crusade Which is why it annoys me. It's like he should be able to know what happens next So he needs to have a plan. He's come up with something and that's what he'd come up with He'd be like if I read this for you You have to promise to let us go and the guy is like I don't have to promise to do anything. Dr. Jones, you know some kind of villain thing and then he could be like Listen, I know that you're just gonna kill us all anyway So, you know, give me this give me some leverage and I'll help you like make it sound like he's giving something up And then trick him Run the scene the exact same way you have here with a dynamite preparing it while Jones is doing the thing But no they give it all to her. She's the one that decodes all of it She's the one that sells them the wrong story and then she's the one that gets them out of the situation It was really strange considering Jones is the one with all the fucking experience to have done that Who is she she's a person who steals stuff and sells it on auctions He's a literal like lifelong adventurer who's been through these exact situations So lame You'd think they'd be looking for whatever they can to give Indy something to do especially something that doesn't involve action. He doesn't have to do any stunts It's like give it to indy let him do it. No Oh, yeah, there's a question. Did she even lie? I thought it was just that the wax had the misdirection carved into it That might be true and that you need to burn it away or whatever, but I thought that she gave them The wrong information anyway She I think she said that she deliberately gave them the wrong information I think so. Yeah In any case, of course, I've gone a little bit further ahead. This part really fucking annoyed me So indy says no and they shoot antonio bandera is in like the knee In his fucking working leg by the way Is even more great because he's uh, he's like they they make fun of him when they first meet him has been like Oh, yeah, he's the best frog man ever with one leg Just like thanks. This the guy who's given up, you know, so much of his life to just help you on your stupid fucking quest anyway, um Because he's obviously in pain and pissed he gets up And then they shoot him and just execute them. They just shoot him through the heart one working leg And he stands up on the one working leg that's just been shot. I don't fucking know man I think it's in his kneecap too that he actually gets shot, but it's so it's just You just think about this broadly It's this group of guys who have fun deep diving discovering things whatever old friend says hey, man I need some help finding this thing in this specific place like yeah, okay Explain the rules go down with them. It's like, oh, this is great. Oh, one of my guys just drowned because a bunch of Nazis have come aboard and cut the wires And now I'm getting shot to death Okay That's that Um, I couldn't get it out of my head and then the scene just plays out with feebie wallabridge being like I'm so awesome decoding this and telling you how to do it and getting myself some money Sorting out the dynamite and doing clever things. Here we go. Jonesy. It's just like Hey, you I hate everything about this. It's so fucking hard to watch He does say he says my friends just died to shut her up. I think at one point But that's that's not yet. That's the thing you have to enjoy the whole fucking scene His body is dragged away during the scene by the way. There's a guy in the background just dragging antonio bandera's office like cool There he goes And yeah, you get all of that the explosion and she's high on the adventure of it all she's like this is amazing And then he says my friend was just murdered Then she goes sorry anyway, and then they start talking about the thing again Yeah, it's the parallel really of the scene earlier, which I mean you praise which is you know when he finds the museum teacher Or the school teacher is dead and he does actually pause and the film Takes a bit of time to make sure we understand that these innocent people who've just been made to Suffer and die needlessly Whereas this one does basically the same thing. It's just it doesn't really Care about them at all. This is what I mean It's like the film does seem to understand that she just doesn't give a shit about human life But does it? Because it really wants me to think she's a good person, but I really don't Yeah, um, and yeah, I don't I don't I want to give some credit for that line But it really is tiny amount of credit because the scene should go the tone doesn't respect it at all It's more of like a throwaway like people did die back there and that's probably not good And it's like yeah, anyway, yeah, it's also my friend But hey, uh adventure because we cut right back to the whole like oh, how cool you lit the thing on fire The wax moves away and now we've got a like a disc that gives us more things to decode. Whoo. That's just like Yeah, man, all those guys lives are over for helping you Yeah, I don't know the whole thing makes me super uncomfortable. I just don't like it at all Also, I mean the the dynamite as an escape tool is is an interesting one because I I've lived on a boat I still have it if anyone wants to buy a boat get in touch because I'm trying to get rid of it But I'm pretty sure if I put a stick of dynamite on the floor of my boat and I lit it and it exploded That boat Would be gone I don't think it would have survived and still been floating after I'd done that and yet this one does survive the dynamite explosion And I assume it's the means by which they follow them eventually You must not be familiar with writing because they need the bad guys to have a boat If we if we make it so the boat blew up because of the dynamite That would ruin the story. So we can't do that Yeah, better look next time with the little nitpicking. Okay What you said doesn't even make sense. Why would dynamite blow up something? That's not what it's known for You fool. I thought it was dumb as fuck too. By the way that she had the dynamite at all I was like, did did none of them get patented down. They didn't take like any precaution of whether or not they have a fucking guns or maybe a stick of dynamite on them I mean, I guess we're still unclear when she actually got it because apparently Yeah, no, I don't know when she got it exactly So she must have taken it while she was doing her little translation I don't know how she could get away with that I think that they had one of those, you know those shots that always tell you oh that item's important where there was a shot that focused in on the Stick of dynamite. I'm pretty sure there was a shot like that And I guess you talk about before they went down or after damn I I I can't remember if it was before or after but I know that there was that shot Well, yeah, um, the other thing about it is funny is that if Vola wasn't smoking a cigarette in that scene, what was she gonna do? Die Like she needs a spark Yep, I guess I guess india's a lighter. I think so she could have just tossed in the dynamite That's the thing. She does it as well and she when she threw it. I was like you're blowing up a boat You know what that means like you are blowing up a boat No, it always works out because whatever she decides to do is just sort of you know, just everything sort of shakes out for the best It's all good Even if the boat doesn't sink because of the dynamite which it would but even if it didn't Because the hull is usually made of steel the floors in boats don't tend to be made of steel and certainly nothing is thick as The steel at the hull of the boat fire moves in the direction of least resistance All the force of the explosion will be channeled via the cylindrical hull upward Towards the top. So everyone in that room is dead. Even though it doesn't sink. They're all completely gone But but no because again the film needs to carry on happening. So I guess it's just a small piece of dynamite Kai died and they blew up his boat. Yep I'm a bit tired of the the trope of like Indy doing the hard work to get the thing and then he's surrounded by the bad guys and the bad guys like I must thank you for bringing me the thing dr. Jones Um, I was hoping they'd like think of something clever this time around No, we definitely got that coming in Indy would say before he went underwater like stay vigilant make make sure they don't come aboard and take you all hostage while I'm down there Yeah, there was no plan for that Even though they knew presumably because they said they had the notes that they would eventually reach them So they should have by the way Had they been 10 minutes later? It would be fine Yeah, I'm just fucking considered this Terrible and it's hard to keep track of these just so many contrivances Yeah, well and speaking of which, um The dynamite boat is is black smoke coming out of it. They're all like And then it just shows vola grab binoculars. So we mentioned this earlier, but he just watches indy's boat and then goes wait a minute They're not heading where they said they were they're going somewhere else And then there is really weird because he doesn't say it immediately He picks up the binoculars and watches them Then we get the map sequence with the classic red line and it's implied that lots of time is passing Then we come back to him with the binoculars and he says Hey, man, they're they're going west Yeah, but not you could you already know this because that's immediately obvious to you surely second they start to leave Yeah, um, and that's follow follows them the whole way Yeah, I get you can tell they're probably in the editing room on that map scene and it's like well the audience get it That they're following them. No, we got to throw this extra bit. I don't buy they're heading west If vola is in binocular distance of seeing where they're going then they must have known he was following them, right? They're just look behind them be like, oh that boat's been following us this whole time. So that's probably vola actually Yeah, but no, they don't they're completely surprised that vola manages to find where they are Yeah, it didn't need that cut back over the map scene. There was already a shot there where you can see him looking at the boat uh Going away and you can just draw from that like oh, maybe he knows where they're going Maybe he'll follow them Well, a lot of people point out like no way he could know where they were going just based off northeast southwest, right? So it's like, yeah, he must have been literally at the fucking front of their boat with his binoculars going Forward still forward. Oh bit to the right bit to the right. Yeah, you gotta keep going Yeah, because you know it's like I don't actually have any clue where they're going just follow the distant boat But don't get too close don't want them to realize we're following them If he doesn't have line of sight to their boat, he has no idea where he's going. Is that right? Yep So he must Logically have been following them within eye line of them So they must have known that he was following because and as soon as they find that out There's a good chance you'd want to be like, well, we don't want to land exactly where we need to go We should go somewhere else and then move to where we need to go I think the problem at that point is that uh, he will have figured out where they were going simply because They were heading west it's too late. No, but yeah, but that's fine. If they say Sicily is a big place, you know I will so I think that the problem is that They know that it's got to be the exact place that they end up going because I think it says it's only one or two places So I think that's like the only place that they would head Like they're screwed as soon as they know they're I don't know that's true because right as indy says that Teddy's the reason they know it's that cave Oh, well, then yeah, then I have no idea It's certainly the cave if not the island because I think thing he's right about that They would know it was Syracuse because it is true that the dark comedies only lived in Alexandria and Syracuse and nowhere else So if Volta knows that then Yeah, he will know they're not going to Alexandria. So he must know they are going to Syracuse, but We're in Syracuse and it's not a tiny island That's what I'm saying like if they because they're surprised that he's chasing them. They shouldn't be surprised But then um, yeah, it's teddy getting kidnapped, which by the way Fucking contrivance like hell. Teddy's angry. It's like why? Well, because you're doing all this adventuring when I thought we were in this for the money The few wall bridges like oh, don't worry. We totally are in it for the money I'm the one who's in charge and then indy goes. Hey get over here and help me And then she goes over and helps and so that's supposed to be like a signal to to uh, teddy That's like see really indy's in charge and that sucks. He pouts runs off and gets an ice cream And then wanders into vola just wanders into him And then turns around to run and the big chungus grabs him and I was just like fuck off, man And to make matters worse indy's like where's the little kid gone? Turns the corner and sees him getting put into a van and they drive off and he's like, oh no They caught teddy I was like, why are they driving away with teddy instead of capturing indy and people bridge Because screw you All right. Well, I think they said oh, well, he'll leave. They know you can get indy and her too You can get them all and hold a gun to the kid's head. Yeah You fucking blow people Brain out You know see we're serious I Yeah, uh, just terrible because they just drive off straight away and remember they drive off with directions from the kid on where to go And yet they get there like an hour later than indy and uh, if you will bridge That's true. Don't know how time works. I guess that's okay See when you have a problem like that, you know, it's like, hey, that's just one of a couple right one of a couple hundred Because I don't know if you guys have seen it But there are there are several tweets that are like, you know, this one's getting a lot of hate I don't see why it's actually a lot of fun. It's like It's awful And we had a scene where it's been like, well, that was pretty good No, not one I did I did actually have someone in in these pretty much these exact words when I said on twitter It wasn't as bad as I thought it was only because it didn't make me eat my own face off And they said it was a perfectly acceptable action film. I don't know why it's so hard for people to accept Oh That's because we don't all have your incredibly low standards. Um, some of us pay attention to the films that we watch But I don't even think you have to pay attention to this film to understand that it's Deeply flawed and entirely soulless. That's not something that it takes a huge amount of like deep reading to understand It's self-evidently absurd There's weird too that indy says how much fuel we got and they say it's full on the boat Like how is it full? Didn't they Have a whole trip to get to where they are No, I'm not going to check the fuel amounts of the ship They were in versus the amount of distance they had to travel but I have a feeling there might be something there as well Yeah, that's what I was thinking too. It's like, oh, is it even with a full tank? Will they make that trip? I don't know I don't I don't know Screenwriter filled it back up. It's okay. No, that's nice of him um So, yeah, we're at the we're at the cave and apparently the clue is a whisper Can be like a hurricane and he's like you're going to get to the part of the cave where your echoes are the loudest I didn't There's bits of this that I like because it is the era of dionysus is is actually a Tori well, it's a tourist attraction. That's what I don't like about it I don't think really ideally at least you make the super secret location a tourist attraction because That just poses all sort of questions like why hasn't it already been found? But it was in myth. I think the myth was created by caravaggio though. Um, so it's not actually Established law of the cave that um, yeah, if you got to a certain point then there is this this confluence of echo Which which I can't what the effect of that is you're not you can't actually go there in real life anymore I don't think that part of the cave has now been sealed up But it is famous for its its echo effects and the echo is supposed to either reveal a piece of knowledge Or to really maximize the sounds of a tortured prisoners because dionysus of syracuse was a famous asshole Even by ancient greeks standards other ancient greek dictators thought that dionysus was unpalatably tyrannical So nice little bit of history there that the film doesn't really understand or do anything with because I think all they were doing was googling for tourist attractions in syracuse and that's the one they came up with Was it's unreal to me that they figure out the big secret entrance is a couple meters up from where the echo is The loudest and it's just this hole and it's like nobody's Nobody's gone through there Tourist attraction. Nobody checked that Was dionysus the guy that used the brass bull on people To torture them Quite possibly yes He did lots of nasty things I mean that cave one of the theories for the origin of that cave is that it was just used as a prison to torture people Um, right. None of that really makes it into the films out there. Well, well, it is torture So I guess some of it did but it's not torture in canon right On just in case anyone was confused someone to just say wait Syracuse, New York. Yes, New York Exactly So, uh, they Cross a bridge go through a spooky bug room. This is actually mentioned earlier that it's really weird that indy is like It just felt like the obvious opportunity to finally show Helena struggling with an environment for once But uh that felt like such a box ticking scene, you know It's like we need an icky bug scene. Here it is And it was like CGI bugs. It's not even cool like in the old movies. They used real bugs. It was like You know had some texture to it. Mm-hmm They come across a room We have to put weight in a pool to make it all fucking drain and they open up a secret entrance sort of stuff just I mean, I say this it's just a boring challenge room Like yeah move the weights across like okay, it's also it's a boring Approximation of history. I mean no one ever will ever say that any Indiana Jones film is is historically accurate But at least they did interesting things with the grail myth and they did interesting things with Waiters of the Lost Ark and they actually tied it into various different sort of symbolic locations and symbolic items And that's the mean but well by those means he discovers the place he needs to go to to find The thing to find a thing to find a thing Where's this one? I mean, what does anybody anywhere know about Archimedes? Well, he said Eureka when he got in the bath and that's basically this entire puzzle scene So you've taken one of the most interesting Archimedes is largely responsible for Geometry as a discipline He was way more proud of anything he did in terms of theoretical physics than he was His fairly bog standard inventions and yet this film has just taken the most shallow understanding of something that he once said and made that basically the crux of this film's Historical appeal and it's just it's so boring for a film series That's supposed to really venerate history that they should go in for Yeah, just tourist attraction history like this. It's there's no interest in it Barely any depth to any of these scenes of the whole there's no even time to really think about anything either in terms of just The architecture or the deeper meaning behind the history that would have created something like this It really felt like what if there was a pool? And like, you know, you think like oh don't step in the pool, but no you do step in the pool Yeah Anyway Displacement Contraption thing felt very like all right. Let's just get on with it Let's do the puzzle so we can get to the room with the thing in it It had nowhere near the weight or like excitement of like the trials at the end of crusade You know I'll think raiders where you know He has to use the staff of ra to find the location in one tomb to go and find the location of a second tomb Which he has to dig all the way down and rappel down into and it's it's tricky It requires intelligence and physicality and at the end of it There's a setback of course because he's discovered and it's it's just so much more engaging than yeah They find a cave that no one really has any business not knowing about already because it's been there and it's a tourist attraction They put some stuff in a bath and that's it And I think that's so cheap Surely you can find something more interesting to do They've put this level of effort into finding that hole the bad guys they get into the cave which is as far as teddy's knowledge goes and then Boyd Holbrook just just walks up to the way our characters went up there and I don't know if he was supposed to have spotted something But he's like crouched down and just goes You know boss over here and then vola comes along and goes. That's where they went Doesn't he point to the light arc which is so that they used the riddle to find the place where they could see the light arc And the other guys just follow them to the place where there is the arc of light and they look up at the arc of light and say Hey, maybe it's up there But if they can do it without having to solve the riddle first then anyone else could have done that already This is the thing the the clue about the Present moon thing. I thought that was from the the disc he got from the The thing that from the wax I guess maybe is the implication that teddy is the one that would have told them that was on there I don't even know if he knows I don't even know if he knows I don't even think he was I don't know But these are things you could have in there I'm surprised they didn't go the way of normal bad movies where indy's got like a fucking thing in his pocket And it falls out and lands on the floor and then they pick it up later And they're like they must have gone this way something that simple You know Or if like feeble bridge eats a mars bar and drops the wrapper there like yeah, why not? They were here So then we get a the kid nearly escapes and so they decide right we've got a We got a handcuff him to big chungus And then we'll put the key to the cuffs in big chungus's back pocket while the kid Is behind him The pickpocket. I don't see what I I can't see what could possibly go wrong I don't know what you mean. So then as they're crossing the bridge the kid pickpockets the key out of his pocket because obviously The guy realizes right when the kid's got it And then he tries to like wrestle it from him, but they're on the bridge. So they both fall into the water And as the bridge breaks, right? um Pretty sure it breaks I guess that he's because does he use the bridge to get back later or is there a different that's why i'm pointing that out That's why I said it didn't break I guess it doesn't break but doesn't it? I don't fucking I am pretty sure that bridge breaks and when they go back It's just back Just looks normal The second bridge that we didn't see hey, maybe i'm maybe i'm wrong. I don't know. I only watched it one time, but Yeah, I'm pretty sure it broke I need to give it a I know that they They like look at them having fallen in the water and vollers like leave him Yeah, I don't remember seeing a shot of the bridge after that. I think they fall through the bridge I'm pretty sure that is what happens Well, yeah, so there's a thing that's holding about being dangerous to cross and when they're going across So most of them are taking care and then when the big guy goes across There's a long sort of lingering shot on his feet and it's wobbling a lot and he's going really slowly And i'm i'm sure they fall through the bridge Yeah, well, yeah, obviously it's been highlighted because they leave this cave later on a bridge. It's very explicitly shown So it's just like I guess there was another bridge somewhere else that is another entrance into this place So Anyway They're falling through And it's like the water so strong the stream of it takes them underwater and through like a little passageway There's a grate with a hole in it The kid the kid is small enough to fit through it And then he gets the key and hooks himself and then hooks the The the cuff back onto the grate The the grate with a hole is too big for the guy to get through anyway and swims away And it just has a shot of the guy screaming as he realizes he's just gonna drown now. That's it I thought it was a fucking weird scene like it's very for someone who just learned when learned to swim and big quotations He's he's doing pretty well underwater, you know Staying cool doing all these things putting the cuff back on taking that time not panicking Well part of it is just that uh, he took the extra effort to make sure that bad drowned Exactly Oh, wow you Do you wanted him to die, eh? Definitely. I mean he was piece of shit, but you know, it's just felt a little odd. That's all And what luck that that hole was there in the grate few Yeah, yeah, you know Oh, yes Could have just been the great wasn't there and so there's none of this happens It could have been the great was there and no hole so they just both die. It's like They're both screaming under you could imagine the chuggers guys like why did you do this we're both dead now Why was the kid even still alive because they didn't need him anymore once they got to the cave and once they found the crescent thing Which notably he didn't lead them to anyway Arguably leverage Yeah But leverage for what and then when he falls into the water Um, I keep getting his fucking name. Oh, yurgin says yurgin says leave him So he evidently doesn't really care that much Yeah, yeah Well, but I mean I mean, he's got a they got a they got to keep him around they got to find some way to keep Do you guys see like how like this plot is like tied together by Like strands of hair Chewing Um, there's a conversation that's had as well between indiana and uh A feeble bridge He says you're sure they won't hurt him and he says he'll be fine Where'd you find him? He says he tried to steal my money once and we were inseparable ever since And he says I thought you were just about the money Because I am Nobody memorizes their father's notebooks just for the money I was more interested in the fact that she just said I've been hanging around with a little kid as my helper because he tried to steal my money once and I stopped him I was like, oh You mean short rounds backstory Like one to one the backstory of a short round. You just you just right now And indy doesn't recognize this at all or have any comment about it. I was like, oh Does james mangled no Like Starts to you know draw your mind back to man. Why isn't short-rounded in this movie? Why isn't he the successor to indiana jones? It's it's actually insane because uh, it's impossible to have like she was saying it and I was like, oh Here we go. We'll have some more member berries about short round like indiana'll be like, you know I used to know a kid who'd pretty talented pickpocket. I hope he's doing it or you'll be like he's dead He fucking died in vietnam But uh, no, it's just I just don't even think they know it's like, okay Oh, well Why not just remind me of how much this sucks Then you like how bad that dialogue was as well. I don't know. Why don't you just send it for the money? I was well better have indiana explain how that's incongruent with the way that she's behaved Yes, just in case you didn't fucking notice Well, dude, it's the same thing as like, you know, our marriage was destroyed yet. You still wear the ring Yeah, thanks for having absolutely no trust in me as a viewer to figure these things out. Oh, yeah I mean if you want the audience to see the ring just have a shot of the ring on his hand like an insert And then maybe you have a shot on febe like looking down at the ring. She sees it, but she doesn't say anything That's all you need It's a little too someone might miss that and we wouldn't want to write a story where you could miss anything That happens in it. God forbid you show don't tell in a movie God forbid the viewer potentially misunderstands what's happening in the story We don't want to have that Don't have any confidence in the brains of our viewers So it's um, it's worth mentioning indy and thingy decided they're gonna try and get the dial before Bola does because the kid will be able to guide them relatively here as well But luckily they don't like indy doesn't believe that vola would harm the kid Which is funny considering what just happened. He fell into a fucking like potential drowning of all was like, oh well but uh So point being They know that this is time sensitive. They discover the crypt. They open it up. They find the dial piece And then they just sort of have a little sit and look around like This is the dial. This is it reminds me of multi-phase of madness. We're just like, yep, this is the thing we need Okay, and then if you all bridges like, you know, it's weird these images of a phoenix have propellers on them The indy's like that is weird. How about that? Hmm. Oh god And at that point then they have a drink of water they read a magazine And at that point it does hit you matter. Well, you're right. It's just like, oh fine We don't even worry about that the viewers we need to be careful chat. I'm gonna die if we drop all that out of it once, okay? You can't dump that much on somebody without you know, Right now they're listening to us like break this down and they can probably follow it They're not gonna follow it very soon. It's gonna be completely lost This is the part where we're right at the cusp of the film absolutely descending into incomprehensible Real close. We're very close So Shockingly vola turns up and they're like, no he turned up. Oh now he's got the dial There's this really weird moment where vola puts a gun to feeble wall of bridge and he's like you can choose between the dial and your goddaughter and i'm just like, no You've got all the leverage. What do you mean choose just take it off him And then indiana like passes the dial and they show her recognizing that like wow, he gave he gave up the dial for me Like what do you think would happen? You choose you and then just take the dial Yeah, like there's no choice to be made here. It's like give me this or die Like yeah So weird it's such a forced mode of like, uh, see that meaningful character choice. Like no you've done it wrong You could have you could have set it up to be a meaningful character choice, but in this situation he has no leverage I I don't know if this constitutes strain too far into the incomprehensible part of the film But before he hands the dial over they have discovered that there is a modern watch That's true A modern wristwatch is on Archimedes skeleton, that's odd. Yeah, it's not only on it. It's in the dial, isn't it? It's a part of the mechanism So I think so. Yeah the dial has been created with a watch that won't exist for another few thousand years I wonder where this could possibly be going Yeah, put that in your pocket And so in this scene here we are yet again with the I must thank you for getting the thing for me dr. Jones again And I knew this was gonna come as soon as that line they're heading west. I knew like this is what's gonna happen again like fucking hell go on so, uh Yeah, teddy Jumps onto volar. I think I can't remember he's like on a statue and he's surprise attacks and then um Indy grabs the dial I think but he's he's like, oh you guys get out of here go And then he starts shooting banging with his gun everyone's shooting banging And uh, they're like, oh golly gee. Wow. Should we should we get out of here? And then they see indy get shot? Oh, no, he's like just go just get out of here. Then she's like no indy and then leaves and I don't know. You just sort of sitting there like If you I already knew they weren't gonna kill him in this film, but if I didn't I would be like Hmm And then you sort of in your head like would it be better if he was to die or not? I completely forgot how long in this film he spends shot and bleeding It's probably like 25 30 minutes or something Yeah, to be fair, it looks like if I was to be very definitive that he was shot in the Upper his upper left torso. It's not quite his shoulder. It looks like it's more so on his torso But it's it's funny how they handle it because the first time we see him back. He's like, oh, I'm so weak and then Next next scene. It's like action scene. Whoo. Everything's fine Later it's like just let me die It is uh, the the creators would be like, yeah, he's on like a bit of a ticking clock now, you know, and it's like, yeah What does that clock look like they're like, we're not telling you okay Um, and it's really lame by the way The reason he gets shot is he's in cover and he pops out to shoot goes back in cover And then he sees feeble abridges potentially leaving Stands up out of cover and then says go on get out of here and then Boyd Holbrook just looks at him goes Okay, and shoots him It's like it's not like he got shot taking the bullet for someone or because he was in an awkward position Or that someone moved around and outsmarted him. It's just like no, he's Isn't it Um Yeah, and then uh, so they've escaped but they're gonna capture indy now because they don't want him dead Vola wants indy to see what he's gonna do Because of course he wants to see him because he's an evil trope He's like, ah, I need you to see my evil plan. Come to fruition. Haha I'm sure nothing will go wrong Yeah, and it's it's the kind of thing where it's just like as a Movie watcher is like indy's gonna do something at some point. It's gonna fuck everything up for you obviously And it's also just just flip flapping around between ah kill these people I don't care about these people but then when it's like a main protagonist is like, oh, you're gonna capture him Yeah, I'm so cold-blooded Except when there's a main protagonist on screen Well, you know that if you put a gun to indy's head and pulled the trigger it would jam He'd be like damn it and then someone else goes to hit him with a shovel and the shovel handle breaks off And he's like, oh, why? According to yogin's theory Of what he's going to go on to do He could leave indy in the present and he would still have seen what the results of that would be Because you can't really ignore the fact that he's changed all of history So he doesn't need to take him with him in any way Even if he does want him to see masochistically the results of his his evil plan come to fruition He could have just left him here and he would have seemed exactly the same thing If you were like all the like the with the writing teams saying that they already responded half of you was like, yeah, but indy's our main character If he's not there, how can the audience see? Oh, they throw you out the window like that mean Yeah Uh So, uh, the fist thought I had when they were exiting the uh, the cave feeble wall bridge and teddy I was like, you know any bad guy's worth their fucking salt would have slashed the tires of the car you came in on And then they actually did like, whoa But they're fucked, right? It's like no the guy who works here at the caves the one that they shot they just take his vehicle being It's a bike They didn't slash those tires What yeah, that's so fucking pointless like oh, no we can't follow them. Oh, actually we can okay moving along The scene Is like filler you don't need it It's like how are they gonna follow them when their tires are slashed like you didn't have if you were gonna not slash the motorbike ones Why slash their ones? I don't know because this is dumb as fuck and yeah, they chase them and now we're really entering the uh I guess this is the third act. I don't actually know where the act breaks are in this one It's a little bit Say the low point is when volor has the dial. He's like, yes Ultimate power. He doesn't say that but it's basically that beat where he gets what he wants Well, yeah, and so for those listening who haven't seen this film The dial is supposed to give him the ability to manipulate, you know past events, right? And indy is I guess at the point of believing this is true now And so he says who you're gonna kill Churchill ike And then volor says we're going to fly into sicilian airspace august 20th 1939 We'll head north to munich where my quarry will be waiting for me Uh for an update on his v1 rocket And then he says what kind of nazi kills the furor? He says the kind that believes in victory dr. Jones Oh Hitler lit a fire that could have burned for a thousand years I saw every mistake and regret them all history's a log list of losses dr. jones. It's just a question of whose The cringy Such a lame bad guy Where do you uh, it's hard to know even where to begin with it, but okay, let's say he Did manage and nothing went wrong and he did manage to go back in time And kill hitler Does what does he think will happen to him? He thinks he'll take over right that he'll you'll do everything properly coulda quote One of course at this point you need to start like you would imagine he'd have the question So what time travel rules are we working in here? Am I going to be impacted by the events that I Manipulate in the past like can I delete myself from existence? What does that look like? I don't understand why this wouldn't be something that Yeah, I was gonna say do you want to do you want to talk about the whole of it once they pass you the portal or now? Because we really could do either Why do we have what we're doing Why indeed metal why every every fucking movie These days we have to talk about the fucking implications of time travel I don't I don't understand the obsession. I really don't get it Like this time travel, especially when nobody wants to put in the work to actually make their time travel story function properly Like I don't understand what the obsession is. I really don't know if anything and and bizarrely Old bruce wane in the flash has put more thought into time travel than theoretical physicist Jurgen whatever his name is in indiana jones even though he's our actual physicist and bruce wane in the flash is not None of them make neither of them make sense But at least one of them kind of knew what he was talking about Whereas it doesn't seem to have occurred to to Jurgen to even ask the question I think that the problem. I think we briefly touched on this on open bar The problem is that a lot all of the other all of the other mystery all of the other um Man, my brain's not working the arc of the covenant the holy grail, you know, like these there's an element of of uh Myth and mystery that you can always have there where you don't need to get into the nitty gritty details about how exactly they work Because they're magical but the problem is like this time travel just feels like science fiction and feel like magic No, yeah This has to have rules You have to tell us how it works and then we have to think about whether or not that makes any fucking sense Which we've done 17 times lately The same problem that kingdom of the crystal skull has that science fiction and you can't hide behind myth That like there's there's a demand for an explanation for how these things work and it seems like this film It wants to be able to be like with the arc where it just says this is how it works and you basically accept it because it's magic But like you can't hear it has to work in a certain way This is a situation where there needs to be some rules the arc the the grail and even the blood of khali for example Like they they all have mechanics that are wild but still very much like they don't contradict at all They're very straightforward This one Is so much to say out of the gate. Yeah, I think if we can I'll just Set a few more things that happen and then we'll try and talk about it in depth because there's there's so much wrong And it's so incredible how this is thrown in in the last like 20 minutes of the movie We're doing this now Throughout the movie After we had the initial like flashback scene I was like, oh, I guess we're not doing Not doing any time travel stuff I guess there was just a bit of bait in the In the trailers, I guess I don't know Because there was like the whole spec relation, right where it's just like, oh fun way for those flashbacks And maybe there's like a young indy with a old indy blah blah blah There's nothing of this in here. They just I thought dial and they maybe do something I thought that they were gonna do, um We were gonna have like the past and future running at the same time that we were gonna do Yeah, maybe something like that Past indy has to do blah blah blah and future indy has to blah blah blah and you know But uh, no, yeah, it's just the flashback scene and then all the way up to now with stuff is happening Oh, yeah, and as soon as I saw that whole time no no efforts to heal him at all Yeah, as I already said When when when you see that watch or this this mural like oh fuck we're doing it Yeah We're doing something and it's not gonna be good Um, so Helena and tally teddy catch up to them And I don't know if you guys noticed but this is a shot where they're hiding from the german soldiers Behind something that's very much not concealing them and the soldiers are about five meters away Looking at the direction. I was like pretty sure all of them just saw you but that's that you know what? It's low on the list at this point and yeah, uh Helena says this part drove drinker like mad on open bars She's like, can you fly that plane? and uh He's like, I've never flown that plane and she says you've never flown any plane And it's like why did you ask whether he could fly it if he's never flown? What? You write this and leave it in your movie It's like it feels like it's supposed to be a funny thing She then goes on and says well, no he then goes on and says well I'll go and get it started runs off and she says oh Fuck or oh shut up something so like she doesn't want him to do it But then again Why did you ask him if he could fly the plane if you didn't want him to run away and get in in the plane? And then she doesn't even go with him to get in the plane. Yep pictures. She wants to use them I don't understand She uh the only reason these choices were made was to facilitate essentially the action scene that they're about to do Absolutely, but I think the I've never flown that plane. You've never flown any plane. I think that's supposed to be funny But then it was added on to her question, which was can you fly that plane? Like you she's the person that said that and the person that you've made do the joke She's the same person It's important to look at your script and And that's like oh, so you're just wasting time now by Making funny questions or whatever like it's not a time to be snarky You know It would be an easy thing to fix because you could just have him say you like have him look at the plane and say Hey, what about if we use that plane? She says can you fly it and he says no She says well, can you fly any plane and he says No And then okay problem solved. It's not that difficult to to make it less ridiculous It's just that they don't put any effort in so Well, yeah, yeah, there's so many ways to do it. It could be that he sees it and he's like I can fly that And she's like you can't fly that and he's like, yes, I can she's like you've never flown a plane before That he says I'm gonna get it like I'll get it started But you know, he's the rash one. He's he's a kid. You could definitely run it that way But uh, no dialogues fucked anyway And yeah, she decides that she's just gonna chase them on her motorbike And he sees that happening while he's trying to start up the plane And you can't imagine what's going through his head, right? Like I thought I thought I was starting this up for us But now you're you're just leaving What am I supposed to do Just prior to that chase sequence though, obviously, so they've gone to this airbase where there are Like relic planes essentially the old world war two planes because they want to fly very specifically an old I can't remember what type of plane it is but an old german bomber back into the past Right, um, and I was thinking well, but this has always been your plan You are very well connected. You have the cia under your thumb for part of this film Are you telling me that you couldn't at any point have arranged for a modern day Plane and even if you wanted to like repaint it in the narticolor So it wasn't like shot at when you arrived But you know fly something big and impressive and technologically advancing back through time Because if your whole plan is to depose hitler anyway, then that would be a more useful and be much more impressive to people And see would actually aid the war effort going forward So why did they have to go to all the trouble of finding a plane of the era when they could have used and repainted? An actually impressive one. I don't even buy the He would be able to take over. I just don't even if he brought back a really impressive. I just don't get it He lands and he's like I'm taking a is he going to kill his past self and assume his role in in the history of the world Is that the idea? This is past self even exist if he goes back in time What does he remove his past self or is he taking the place of his past self? And even if none of those questions arise he kills hitler and he imagines that he won't immediately be shot for a traitor Yeah, I know I saw some imagine this by the way It's like so at this point in the film the mission for indiana jones becomes save hitler That space protect him at all Imagine he like jumps in front of volos bullet to hitler Who is supposed to be a brilliant mathematician? It seems like such a limited Scope Like it has to be 1939 like you can go back anywhere anytime It's like I mean he already 1939. Oh, yeah, because he loves nazi so much. Yeah He also thinks we finished space. So, you know, maybe he's not that smart Can the dial take you to the future? Or is that not possible? Right And answer the final question that everyone always rises as a basic ethical question kill baby hitler instead And you know do something else with times Why did you go back to the like the last conceivable moment when you might have been able to do this? And and try and change history from that point like there are so many Things you could have done which are more effective than that. I know it just makes no god damn sense end game all over again Fuck me Yeah, and well in his mind is tiny on this subject and I was like Man, there's so many other things you could you have time travel and you want to win world war two That's your thing. Yeah Time travel dude Um, you you mean you don't mean he's gonna win world war two You guys are gonna lose world. Right. Right. It's all about With this logic Yeah, Helena's like in the middle of a storm just barreling down Uh You know the the road with with following the the aircraft. It's it's so hard to buy again She's doing the like i'm an action hero now It jumps into like the You know the landing gear before it prompts back up and in and she gets in that way like woody does in toy story two But wait, is that buzz who does that? Is that woody? That's woody on bullseye in it? I remember I feel like well, they try to get off the plane in toy story too Because he has to get on or they have to go well. They have to go on to save woody and then Woody has to get off the plane before it ticks off. Yeah Um, well in any case she does it she's successful and Then indy starts to spot that a bunch of I guess shit on the plane Like the metal bits on the plane are being dragged in a particular direction And I don't know if that was that's what gives him the idea of continental drift He sees the two suitcases the bullets fall off onto the floor and then he sees two suitcases I think just because of the vibration of the plane just are moving Yeah, there's moving that immediately in his mind makes him think tectonic plates. Yes This is the thing that proves that you're wrong. It's um, it's a bit of a leap Well to be fair, he's old senile and also dying. So maybe he's just dripping So well, I mean this is almost enough now that we could probably talk about it Because they're about to head into the portal that is there and the dial directed them to and indy says You can't go through that portal as directed by the dial to take you to 1939 Because the continental drift would have happened over a thousand two thousand years And that means that that portal Will take you somewhere else Except the portals in the sky are not affected by continental drift because they're not I guess his point is the dial Decides where things are based on Things on the ground or something. I don't know. I actually really am lost at this point I don't well my first question would probably be wait Is this portal always here or the the dial yeah We should roll it all the way back to yeah, are there loads of portals around it exactly Are there just loads of portals out? Is that what this he says it detects time fissures Does that mean there's just a shit ton of open portals that take you back and forward through time No, because later on Phoebe water bridge will give the line quick the portals closing Why I don't know It's incredibly lucky that they got that dial at that time so that they could execute their plan to go back to 1939 Because it sounds like if they had done that maybe two or three hours later That window of opportunity would have just been gone Well, so we get it also into the problem that it was like they like set to do all of this the way that they do it Exactly So painful that way Um, I don't even know why they need the dial like the hands on the dial point you to the big glowy thing in the sky And it's like can't you just look up and look for the big glowy thing like I get it like it's in a bunch of clouds But it isn't always cloudy in any one area. I don't think looking at no clouds. There's a flying portal Oh, so that means then that there are loads of portals that open and close at different times all the way throughout the universe question mark possibly I'm okay because the the the Archimedes dials points of reference are interstellar objects. So Because we know no, maybe it wouldn't mean all across the universe then because it's Sort of like triangulating to also the we got all this but do you remember the line? um Archimedes also, I think feeble bridge says it about how He made the device specifically to take them here at this time Yes, that's right meaning So the portal That's not that's got nothing to do with Archimedes right the portal is a natural phenomenon in this universe Yeah, but it means that he knew about it somehow. Yes somehow. He knows where the portal to 1939 is going to Oh, sorry the portal to 214 bc Yeah, he knows where that one's gonna open and he knows how to direct them to it with the dial And it opens right above a really important day in his life Just like I don't even know where to begin. It's so fucked the whole thing is so fucked Because some people probably listen right now. We're like, what is what is happening? So like well, they go through the portal and it takes them to 214 bc The romans besieging syracuse So we fly above the roman navy. Um in world war two bomber planes uh Yeah Them going through the portal was the one moment in the movie where I like perked up because I was like bracing myself I'm like, this is going to be stupid as fuck. Isn't it? Is there going to be like dinosaurs? I didn't know what to expect one and bear in mind as well as soon as they go through the portal their engines stop working They have to restart them as they're falling including that kid who's never flown a plane before just restarts his engines Oh with his random Yeah, luckily the guy in the back wakes up at this point So does it for it but me to give that guy wasn't sleeping in there that he may have just died And they would have all been stranded there And why was he sleeping in the back of his own plane? I just don't know He's just tired. Yeah, he's really tired. Maybe his wife kicked him out. He was like sleeping in the airplane Oh, um Yeah, no amount of saying it's a closed loop is going to make this make sense by the way No, no Yeah, I want it justified as a causal loop. You have to like like what initiates the loop in the first place. How does that even Yeah, that's that problem. There is always that problem. Well the answer to that is Kind of taught is taught the logical answer is that it always happened because it always happened because it always happened Yeah, at that point the universe isn't a straight line. It's like a circle or some shit, right? Yeah, yeah And uh, it Yeah, so so Archimedes always needs to get the watch to finish the dial to find the portal to Leave the dial for it the dial to be found for the portal to be found In order to watch people back to finish the dial and it just goes on like that turtles all the way down The only problem If it's bad enough, right with leaving the wristwatch because I would change everything forever and ever and ever They leave a whole ass fucking plane All those pieces attack inside it Even the stuff as simple as like the way that their clothing is made like it's it would change everything forever and ever and ever No, Archimedes knows what's our piece just very I like the idea that Archimedes Ordered the ball to just fucking bury all of that Or like when I touch it is too far away from us, but I'm gonna keep the wristwatch. It's deep For some reason the way I sorry go ahead metal. Oh, it's just even if they would do that It would probably people would find that shit in the future and it's like why is there like a 4000 old Plane in the ground what's going on? Why is there for so long? It's too much and I find it so weird that the film doesn't address it It's like It doesn't matter if Archimedes has a fucking wristwatch you just crash that there there's machine guns in there, man And then just uh She just goes later. I think I think you just said it's like if you stay here you Change time like yeah, that was really well already done that we'll get to that. It's that because yeah Obviously they arrive and as was mentioned there they need to restart their engines and stuff But then once they do they just stay really low during a war Now what's really neat about airplanes is that you can kind of avoid most of medieval technology by flying relatively up ish It's not even that far. You don't have to go that far Um, they don't and a fucking like I don't even know it's like uh, would it be a baluster? Is that what they're called? I guess I don't know what I want. Oh baluster. Yeah baluster. Yeah They're uh, that comes right through their fucking ship. It's it skewers them It hits one of their engines too three times or four times. None of believe it for a second So, um, the problem is that Even at the height they're flying which is way too low because they shouldn't be flying that Blisters are not generally designed to be able to shoot for What a legendary shot because nothing they're going to be shooting at will ever be that high And they get to hit multiple times like jesus What did they they have the mentors before they aimed like jesus? Yeah Those planes are quick and the fucker that launched it. What a legend. He nailed it He hit them in the engine like if he had stabbed the plane in any of the way He probably wouldn't have done anything with the engine is and he still did it He must be said he killed the dragon. You know that guy's uh, what a great guy Okay, so there's one little tiny piece of credit I'll give the film which is uh, sorry succeeded by a huge fucking problem Which is that they do sort of tease it So when they first arrive at syracuse in the present day timeline They see the puppet play and the puppet play in syracuse has dragons fighting um Fighting in the battle of syracuse and so it's sort of teasing the thing that the film will try and explain as As the presence of the planes in the past So the dragons have been passed down in folktale Up to the present day people of syracuse in in 1969 whenever we are now Which I quite like is a little bit of foreshadowing except that the only reason we know Anything at all about the battle of syracuse is that both the greeks and the romans particularly were exceptionally detailed record keepers There is absolutely no way This would have happened and if for it only to be passed down in folktale as dragons because Otherwise, we would never have known the battle of syracuse took place or who our comedies was or who killed him and why? It's it's completely unbelievable that the romans wouldn't maybe have noted the fact that there were giant metal machines flying around at this guy They had the dragons corpse was right there. They could have literally drawn it books I just uh, no, yeah, I don't buy it and you know what I don't like to You've highlighted that and I think it's relatively fair it's like oh, that's kind of a cool neat detail But I don't like that they happen to have that there at that time and also if you guys remember It happens to be talking about this very fucking battle and the uh The dial itself in his it is his last lesson in uni. Yeah I wanted to mention that later. Yeah, because you know, uh, there's a lot of different media that does this Like a school lesson is about something but it's breaking bad is the one I would always go to right? He talks about chemical change and what it takes for something to become something else and like in that episode he's also gonna Turn from being the more mild-mannered teacher into Further going along and it's like drug dealer sort of persona. I'm pretty sure it's the one where he throws the math He's like this is not math that episode. I'm pretty sure the lesson In school is all about chemical change or whatever and it's like, oh, that's kind of interesting The more you think about how it works with chemicals. Maybe you could um Draw something out of it about how human character changes over time What journeys we go through instead of just being like, whoa, I was teaching a lesson about this war now We're at the wall foreshadowing. Oh Yeah, like that's Nice And anyone in this lecture hall tell me who's going to show up in the third act you suspicious Happy girl in the background. I haven't seen before Uh our comedies. Yes, of course So, um, it's very uh on the nose. I think it's time to highlight what I think is probably the stupidest part of the whole movie Oh Yeah The aircraft is getting peppered with all kinds of stuff and the people on board are rather angry about this Volas panicking Boyd Holbrook is like, oh my fucking god. They're taking us down. What do we do? So they slide open one of the doors and boyd and another henchman get their pistols and start shooting randomly at the romans Lone away when that was happening. It's like, what is this clown movie so hilarious He just goes like Why are you doing is crashing like what the what is the fucking point? He's fucking How can you be that stupid? Do you not know what guns how they work? Why Why they even have indy be like, what are you doing? It's like, yeah Yeah He just starts peppering the fucking soldiers and if a new one hit him And they still won't kill indiana by the way He's free on their aircraft questioning their decisions and they just won't kill him. They're just like that's fine The guy's busy killing all the roman soldiers, I guess At one point he just fucking breaks the cockpit window And starts shooting out of that one shooting too. Yeah And he gets on a minigun. He gets on the minigun and starts shooting one of them guys Oh, it's so good. What are you guys doing? What are you doing? It's like somewhere in his head the question asked is why am I shooting romans because I want to save hitler and it's just That's the best summary of this action scene we have to kill the romans to protect hitler Yeah, uh By the way, devoid of humor as this film was I was laughing quite hard in the field Funny, I don't think any of this was no no laughing at this guy shooting romans with a pistol adam is Descending like what? Bobber also funny that musta mustache guy has been there this whole time And this is what he is what he ends up being like he goes from being like a side bad guy to go Who goes like in between like sometimes in between comments that he goes like oh that means this and this and it's like Thank you And it's just take off and just like fucking i'm gonna shoot romans now You can repurpose the monty python question to what did the romans ever do to you? No, stop it I do wonder what the filmmakers Exactly thought How the audience was gonna react to that scene whether the audience was supposed to be like oh wow It's like back in time or they were supposed to be mildly amused or maybe it was supposed to be laugh out laugh funny Like this is so ridiculous. I don't know what they were thinking But they thought like well, of course they'd shoot back. They're shooting at them What? Like I genuinely worry that they would say that Oh Um vola commands the pilots to go back to the portal And they're like trying because they're pilots and they don't want to fucking be here obviously And then they don't do it enough and so vola starts fucking with the controls And then he starts like finger wagging them for not doing it good enough And then they both get killed by random shit just coming into the plane This is one of the tropes. There's also really annoying go back. We're trying. Ah, let me try. I can't fly playing But let me do anything it gets better Right like if you anyone who's been here for the whole stream and hadn't seen the film We've been talking about how useless and pathetic vola is the next we see him It's just a shot of him basically crying on the ship He's just sitting down head in hands just tearing up because it's all over his whole plan failed Oh, no I wanted to kill hitler so badly And first counted for the continental drift They're continental Americans protecting hitler so badly the continent I Like what the continental drift meant that like come on How far did the continents move in 2000 years? It's an inch a year. So 2000 inches. I don't know how that is in Wow 2000 inches. Is that like how much is I don't know your It's just great and apparently That is enough to go from We go back 20 years or whatever it was to we go back to three thousand years Like okay, it's 0.05 kilometers apparently Oh, wow, and that's a lot and then of course as people are probably like gonna point out right like how how much has earth moved In the last I'm sure alchemy D's accounted for that. Don't you worry what a billion kilometers That might even be a lot more He would have accounted or could have accounted for that because he was friends with eratosthenes eratosthenes counter Calculated the first sort of accurate curvature of the earth and also earth's axial tilt and also It's position in relation to the size of the sun and the position in relation to the sun So like he could have known Any of that you can calculate the continental drift. So fuck you I also find it amusing that if he didn't calculate properly that means there's a portal just to the left of the current portal That goes to the correct place. It's like, oh shit. It was that one. Fuck The way I thought it worked for some reason is depending on what angle you approach the portal at that will Uh alter what time period you come out the other side, you know what I mean? So I figured that was the if there's any calculation involved at all It must be that and the dial somehow tells you the exact angle to approach it at otherwise What's the calculation if you can just go through a hole And no matter what angle you approach it at you're always going to come out at whatever it is 200 something bc Like what's the calculation in that case like I don't get even even setting aside the whole continent continental drifting like How can you be so precise and certain that? You know, it's going to be like Uh 1939 on the other side When there's so many like you're in this turbulent plane It flying in a storm like really you're going to fly it just the right angle You're so certain that it's going to be exactly 1939 and he is very confident when he comes out the other side for some reason He's like looking at the clouds or something and he's like, haha. Yes. We did it. It's 1939 It's like it's not going to be 1939. Is it and how did you? What makes you think that? Why are you so certain right now? I don't get it At all. Yeah, I said the Archimedes who did not know about continental drift Created the dial to bring people back and got Cosmically lucky that the people in the future who used the dial forgot that Archimedes didn't know about continental drift Is that how that works? I think that what we're meant to conclude actually is that indy was just like wrong completely That it was fucking irrelevant like the continental drift that didn't matter at all It was always there was only one portal and it like yeah, I think by the time you hit the end of this They want to make it as simple as there's nothing to consider except this device will lead them through this portal That will lead them to this time in order to make all of this happen Yeah, I think that's all that there is to it Which is they didn't play the portal with the dial that they like the portal was already there. No portal Yeah, I think the portal is already there, but fortunately it was a portal that led specifically to this time That means there are just time fissures everywhere and that that's just something that this universe will deal with some other time Like the world of indiana jones the more that time advances and everyone's flying around and stuff The more people are just gonna randomly fall through time and fuck everything up. Oh, no I mean wouldn't it been like made more sense for jergen to go back to Raiders of the last arc to ensure the nazis get the arc and so their armies are invincible And so they win like there's just any number of different possible permutations of things he could have done But he would also have known about right No, it has to be 1939 because I love nazis Or the yeah hang on nazis and also hate hitler. Yeah, I was thinking about something So our comedies made this thing that makes portals or whatever Oh, why did he why did he make the portal appear like somewhere up in the air? He didn't make the portal appear. It was already there Make the portal appear. It's just that there was you knew that it would be there because of this event And he guided them to that even Even know how I don't want to talk about it anymore They're plane crashes um and do a shot down. Well before that We got a helena Is getting onto the ship and she pulls a lever that sends all a bunch of the backup nazis just fall out And as she's trying to climb over it There's a guy who's hanging there looking for like oh god, then she says sorry. You're a nazi Again just like what the Like what what year are you from? It just doesn't match at all just like every single second. It's like I get reminded. Oh, yeah This is a movie to be fair this whole sequence I was just like what insane goofy nonsense But it would always be better if she wasn't in the scene is what I'm saying Further rules of this film She could well have come back through a time portal using the dial that Archimedes made that gave to indiana jones That gave to Archimedes that ended up in her hands and then she used it in the year 2023 to go back to 1969 to go back to 19 Uh, no 2063 beast. I don't even care. But yeah, it like she could have come from the future That's a possibility for her insufferable dialogue Imagine she when she opened that up and all the nazis just fall into the water and then swim to shore and just live like in time Like well time to find a trade I guess Yeah, so they immediately drown or do any of them survive and are they like pivotedly responsible in the development of roman civilization Everyone's got a lot of their ideas from the nazis Um, so yeah, uh, then And then they bail out they jump out of the plane with a parachute. Oh, yeah, she does she gets the final kill shot on uh, vola Not sure why they gave it to her, but she's the one that gets it Before he can shoot indy. Um I guess it's not necessarily that that kills him because He crashes and it is so fucking funny The plane is just like slow to smash into the ground and boyd holbrook is still there with his machine gun going like Fuck you Yeah All I can gauge from like this entire sequence and their demise is it's meant to be we'll see indiana joins villains usually they You know their undoing comes from their own actions It's like they get themselves killed, but in this case it's like holy shit. Like this is just what was all of silly This is just really really really silly compared to you know, I mean obviously the holy grail is probably the best one Of just his complete and utter ignorance of uh, of like All of this leads to his undoing compared to indy who understands all of this He's the knowledgeable one and so he prevails compared to this where it's like Yeah, I guess they screwed up and they went through the wrong portal flew really low and got hit by a bunch of uh Like arrows and then crashed Then random soldier goes to try and kill feeby wall of ridge and uh I was supposed to say hun solo. Jeez And then he gets shot in the back because archimedes has shown up with his two arches and he's like, hey man um The long and short of their conversation is basically just them figuring out that this was always gonna happen I guess and that they're gonna make it happen. They're all very chill with this No, it's it's very strange. Um, they even get to the wreckage of the plane, which by the way Hornucopia are a fucking incredible technology As I said, it's I just don't buy that that won't change everything forever But whatever the film saying it is it won't it's like, oh, okay But like is said indy starts to basically imply like he'd like to stay here Yeah, I think I like it here. You guys go reverse the coordinates and you can go back and you'll be fine I want to stay here in this war zone. This is nice Well, so this is the thing that I was drawing from it. And I was like, this is really sad that this is what I'm drawing from It, but I'm pretty sure that's the truth He's not staying here So to speak like he's not like I really want to be in this time to go have it's like I'm done I just I'm just gonna die and and you know what if I get to bleed out while looking at history in action That's pretty cool And then feeby wall of bridge is like, well, no We're gonna get you home and then sort out your bullet wound and you'll be fine And this is basically indy's scene of telling her like I don't want to live Yeah, and that fucking sucks Yeah, the most charitable interpretation of it is that he he doesn't want to live in the present because he has nothing to live For then whereas at least here. I think he uses the line. I've studied this all my life. And so he knows he's gonna die Well Yes, my like I said, I think the best faith interpretation is that he'd rather die watching this battle unfold Then go back and live But then when she uses against it the world, what do you want like a slow death with with leeches? Which would entail if she's right then, you know, they might he might be captured Maybe someone would try and save him but he would die much more slowly So it wouldn't be dying just in the course of the battle. I assume the most likely outcome I assume that was her saying like the absolute best case scenario because either he's gonna bleed out like now Or he's gonna bleed out soon or he would just be killed. I don't see how he's gonna be able to survive this No, like even even if he had everyone trying to save him, I'm not sure they can save him from that bullet wound That's gonna be I mean, also the Archimedes doesn't survive this Although the film seems a bit unsure on that point, but he's supposed to die in this battle Um, and yet apparently he has time to Finish the dial and organize his tomb to be built in the place where they have to go and find it later Oh, yeah, I'm not sure the film really allowed enough time for that to happen But on on indy, I don't know I think yeah, maybe they are coterminous It is, you know, I want to stay in history and that does entail death. Basically. Maybe you're right I think he's very strange though because Every single indiana jones film he's totally willing to essentially lose the treasure walk away from it Walk away from the thing that he'd been seeking Because it's not worth it and now here the final time after having four times made the right choice to let it go To not look at the ark to let go of the grail And then he just decides oh, I'm just gonna stay here, you know, like So yeah, he says I think he would like decide to stay if like he was so thoroughly convinced that he wouldn't be able to make it work with Marion But then at the end all it takes is her walking through the fucking door And then it's like fine again Then even then you've got the whole time problem because if he decides to stay even because of for that reason Well, he's he won't ever live in the present So basically it means that he will die or cease to exist rather in one timeline in order to exist in this timeline Um, and so he has nothing worth living for in his actual life span lifetime line Yeah, I don't know about that. I think really the most tragic thing of all though is that He's never convinced otherwise. He doesn't he doesn't almost fall for temptation and then see the light afterwards He's perfectly willing to accept this and he's just yanked out of it by somebody else because he never makes the moral realization himself Speaking of which That the line is get on the plane. I'll be all right I need to do this and then she says so do I and punches him and I happen to know Billy wall probably bridges comments on this moment in the film. She says that it was uh, it was really funny But the thing is a lot of people apparently thought this was funny I'm aware of audiences that laugh at this moment I have seen audiences laugh at this moment all three of them who were in the audience on the thing I watched laughed at it Um, maybe because it was so fucking dumb. I just uh, it's really wild to me because I was just fucking annoyed Like I think um, I generally did it Have ruined the way that people like because you often see where people Like there have been a few instances where people laugh at something that was clearly not funny But it's almost like they've been conditioned by marvel movies that they're meant to be laughing every now and then mm-hmm Look, it wasn't my eyes. I was like, uh, okay I guess to me it's this like fucking tragic broken old man basically saying just let me die with something I'd enjoy and then she's like fuck you knocks him out and drags him back to hell Which is what he hates, you know, I mean and then and then like that's funny. It's like good god So I guess they somehow managed to get him back on the fucking plane in time Do a bit of get through the portal even though they said it's kind of close soon. It's like, oh, yeah No, that's not gonna happen. It's really aren't that bad. They're kind of fine Yeah, I didn't like the time jump from the punch cut to black then he wakes up It's back in this fucking apartment. How long has it been knocked out? Yeah, I wanted to see how they got back, dude, if that's what they're gonna do. Yeah Yeah, uh, so he wakes up And he's miserable And he says you should let me die basically he says stay but you know what he means and then she's like I couldn't do that He's like why not she says for starters, you'd have changed the course of history Oh Is that a bad thing? I mean, there are some pretty major implications generally when you change history. It's pretty unpredictable Indiana Jones might be one of the Main people I would ever pick from fictional characters who would never want to go back in time and change it That was that was his whole moral dilemma with the Nazis trying to use the arc for a weapon Or the Nazis trying to use the holy grail to give them eternal life in the present It was this idea that yes, the past is the past myths are myths artifacts are artifacts They belong in museums because we shouldn't be using them today um But also as far as this film goes If they have they already figured out themselves that this was Essentially a closed timeline loop because they know that Archimedes gets the watch To get the dial to be made which means they must always have gone back but if they know it's a closed timeline loop then They must already know that what they've just done is always what happens and then you could never That's really confusing is that at the end of the film He's got the completed dial and the watch like on his table So they didn't even leave it with like Archimedes So I don't even understand like if he if it was a self-fulfilling prophecy They leave the watch on the corpse of Juergen because I know she has the line he has to make that himself by the way About the dial, yeah and and so That means they are using pieces of ancient like well futuristic Nazi technology to create technology. Oh god. It makes no god damn sense Someone in the chat just highlighted this and I haven't really got a counter for it So how is it that Phoebe wallabridge has concluded that indiana jones doesn't die here in terms of how this works But all those other guys definitely did Like she's like, you know, you stay here. It'll fuck everything up But all those other people and the crash ship She even says like you can't have the dial because that'll fuck everything up. It's like Woman if if if we're talking about that like it's already fucked all of it is Yeah, I mean, yeah, that's what I was trying to point out earlier But if there's already so much new stuff here But if he bled out on the way to the airplane just fell over and he was actually just you know Brain dead hot stop whatever it's like. Oh, I guess that that just that is what happens then. Okay And then again, you already have like all the clothes you have the you have the plane there There's going to be some some kind of jump in technology for whoever's going to check that shit out Yeah, it's going to do something Yeah, the idea of like a massive like world war two era plane wreck in ancient like that And what do we get from it? We all we get from it is the propellers on the whole phoenix picture Oh, dude and guns like just yeah, like that. It's not There is the argument so that's Arthur C. Clarke's maxim is that any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. So Nah Really pushing but but no it doesn't work because I mean there's also there's an historic analog analog. Sorry. So when the romans left Britain in whenever it was We they'd been building with bricks and glass And the native bridge population didn't know how to do that and we didn't do it again for another six odd thousand years But the film has kind of defeated that because it points out several times That the dial of Archimedes uses technology that won't be seen again for another 2000 years because it's it's so fantastically advanced and the fact is that Yeah sufficiently advanced civilizations know how to make use of brand new discoveries in a way that Unadvanced civilizations don't and if you're telling me that the Greeks with the likes of Archimedes who pre-empt the 14th century in technology Can't figure out some kind of use for world war two era Uh technology. No, no, it doesn't actually I honestly believe if they had let's just say, you know, five machine guns They disconnect and detach them. They break it even and they see how it all and it's like, huh, this is interesting This looks like it does this which does that which does that And then they actually try and then it shoots and they probably fucking kill someone backs and they're like, holy fuck They, you know, like it they're human beings. They're not gonna just go. This is club. Boom. Boom. That's all I do I don't know. Yeah, like You just look at the mechanics you open them up and you have a look at how everything works and you're like, whoa How did they machine this? How did they get metal to bend in such a like questions like that? Sure, but they'll be able to figure out just by clicking things and pushing buttons It's like, oh this does this this does this does this Of course, fundamentally, you've got the problem as well of how are they gonna mistake it for a dragon? It's it's metal It's not alive It's it's a it's a piece. It's a vehicle. I'm a little and they know it's a vehicle Yeah, no I'm suggesting that Even if they can't fully comprehend everything there and make use of everything It's still gonna have dramatic changes upon But we're not we're done. We're done with that. We we don't the only Neat things to facilitate the whole time thing was that Indiana Jones doesn't want to live in the present And so that's like the only purpose it serves and let's not deal at all with what we've created In terms of this time travel as an element of this world It's done it's over moving on there's only like five minutes left of the movie another good example though the romans had basic rudimentary steam engines way before the industrial revolution so they are Basically familiar with the principles that underpin like internal combustion engines and things like that and things like that So they they they would be able to see at least analogies was what they are looking at and what they already have Um Yeah, no, there's no way it can't dramatically. It's broken. It's totally broken. It's fucked the whole it's it's a disaster guys Yeah, absolutely disaster. Um, and so upon that comment, uh, she then says you're meant to be here indy here And then he says for who? Now before we go further in what the movie is I just hate the fact that you actually have suicidal indy specifically because he thinks he's worthless at this point That sucks indiana. He has no capacity to essentially facilitate this growth himself Yeah, he can't it sounds like he's lost any meaning in life. What the fuck Like as if he didn't derive meaning from his work There's so much he derives me from from despondent Hobo person that just doesn't care about anything He seems to have unlearned a lot of lessons that he learned over the original trilogy And again, just emphasize how lame is it that he doesn't even he He isn't the person to essentially facilitate the resolution of his own story. He doesn't get to do it Oh, yes So, but I don't even like the answers to the question the movie pause. That's right So he asked the question. Who am I here for then the door opens and marion comes in It's like then this is her just showing up right at the end of the film as though it wasn't even planned at all Yeah, um, this is something they make explicit. It's like feeble bridge. You want to settle this up? Wow, she told marion to come here. She's told marion that that indy is back. That's apparently what she told her Like Do you understand what's happening like that they had what is essentially the the bigger parts of the divorce? Because indy wasn't good enough to console her when their son died So they split And now this fucking idiot who has no idea what's going on between them just told marion Yeah, indy may have actually been suicidal to the point where I had to knock him out to prevent him from killing himself But he's back Do you have like it's almost that annoys me like you have no fucking clue what's going on between these two people You have no business putting them together like fucking action figures and then congratulating yourself Like imagine marion came in and said like she said you were back and then indy's like, what does that even mean? And then she's like, let me guess she lied just to get me in here. You don't want the divorce Do you you're gonna run this out like they have like a horrible fucking fight in the middle of the end of the movie Like and then feeble bridge is just like wow. Why didn't that work? I'm so confused Everything is chill even though nothing is fucking changed Nothing changed. Yeah, nothing Doesn't even respect its own like insane stupid retcons like these two had such a rocky relationship They fucking broke apart But now feeble bridge said get back together and so they did So they did That was his line earlier when she says you could change history and he says and that would be a bad thing Because he's for some reason decided that yeah history is so irredeemably awful that any change would be better And now he's expected to make do with the fact that all it takes is somebody else to say to marion yeah come back Um, I I guess they were trying to pay off the adventure line from earlier So indy has been on an adventure the fact he's been on an adventure means that he is He is bad. I know that doesn't make any sense. That's a reach No, I can't I guess the only thing we're very very lucky about is that we've got feeble water bridge's character who lacks a father Who is redeeming indiana jones as a father figure and bringing marion back and she doesn't end that by saying yeah My name is such and such jones Um, that's that's something at least she hasn't done identity theft. I well. Yeah I guess, you know, we've got some other movies to compare to all that for it But uh, I don't even like that answer to the question It's like who is indiana jones here for and there's like marion's like that's not what it should it shouldn't be That indy will live because marion is here It should be that the fundamental it should be should be like I should exist because I am a meaningful person I could add to the world. I enjoy it here. I have friends. I have a job that I find meaningful I enjoy understanding history. I love the influence that all these people had on my life for the life I live no, it's just well you could get back with that odd it off girl fred Yeah, like it's it really is not like a resolution that is derived from poor aspects of indiana jones as a character Shit I hate making that his life is now about marion. It's like what? She was definitely important. What are your problem with crystal skull? Yeah Sort of retroactively giving like her way too much, but this film gives her even more even though she is less of a component of this story She's only in it for like two minutes Well, yeah, because someone just said odd it off girl fred. He married. It's like, you know, that's crystal skulls Stupid baggage crystal skulls. That's not the last crusade, which is the canonical ending of indiana jones. Absolutely It is they write off the sunset. That's the end. None of this is they did it. It's done It's exactly. Yeah, it's burning in the fire. I think that if A man gold hood everything I just said he'd be like, no, that is the point You see we show marion then we show sala then we show the kids remember earlier in the film He said that the kids were learning a lot and learning well and the indy's the reason that they were able to get over here And that they respect american and egyptian culture and history The point is all of these people are positively impacted by indy and that they're all the reason that he should stay there They're all the for you is answered by not only all of these people, but then think about it It's all of us. We appreciate indiana jones. He's a great character. He's inspirational And all I'd have to say to all of that is you fucked up if that was your actual fucking goal Holy shit, and why the hell didn't you have indy figure this out himself? Why did you have phoebe wallabridge explained this to him and set it up somebody else? Why not somebody else? So let's say, you know, sala's around and he keeps in touch with indy and he knows He's really depressed and he knows what marion means to him So why doesn't he just tell marion? Look indy's really depressed and then she turns up and none of this happens Because because for this for this to work Then mar the phoebe wallabridge's character has told marion that indy is back that makes marion Surely quite a self-absorbed if not completely selfish person in saying that i'm not going to Be a part of this guy's life unless He is go get him up and at him and the kind of guy. I remember she's not actually going to take any agency in that She's only going to come back if she's told that he's already fixed. So what does that say about her character? What does it say about sala's character that he hasn't kept in touch enough to know how miserable indy is? What does it say about indy that he doesn't recognize what it takes to fix? How is it like none of these people come out? Well from this at all every single person even the ancillary characters are badly reduced by this story Yeah, and I I mean in kind of completely agree. I think it's kind of gross like the whole thing and How important these relationships should be and how much baggage and history there is and how much how little Phoebe wallabridge specifically would understand about any of these people and yet she's considered by the end of the film Is like the heroic linchpin that brings all of it together like you Like really come on. Yeah, like, huh? I'm going to go have ice cream with the with the family while they have sex at times or whatever the indication Reunite instantly like 30 seconds because I do the Oh, you know, where does it hurt? Yeah, and then they do and then I see another movie like it It is short guys It's really short and then it's over Don't worry We spent loads of time on bullshit action scenes and a bunch of padded walking around but when we have marion and Fucking indiana jones themselves like trying to reconnect the film can't wait to hit the credits The last time that you're ever going to see this character the the end as they've decided for indiana jones And they just race past it We know like this that that had to be a reshoot, right? Oh, it feels so much like a reshoot that nothing about that scene feels like it belongs with the film that preceded it I don't think they had an end in your head And then there was like when it's this will work when it happened. It's like, oh, why would we have it? What why isn't that an unbelievable sort of statement to have? I don't think they had an ending for the ending of indiana jones the film Made with the explicit goal of it being the ending of the series when the cost of 300 billion 300 million dollars And what's it opening domestic 60 million so it's gonna fail. It's gonna fail. It's miserably Also, are they um, are they expanding the definition of opening weekend because I know the box office predictions at the beginning We're doing that. It's a five-day holiday weekend. Oh, yeah They can't escape at the end of the day It's just days that people go to watch movies So you can buff that number up all you want the 300 million dollars 60 million opening weekend And how much would the market people have calculated 100 million this motherfucker of a movie needs to make like 800 million to break proper even It's not gonna do that like no way Look at this year like the only I think the only two films that have made that much money this year was mario Which let's be real mario probably has more of like a box office drawer as a franchise than indiana jones and guardians It's not gonna make it Well, no, it is it's a fucking it's a shit film that no one should recommend anybody Yes, it's yeah, so that's probably the thing that it's worth emphasizing They're maybe like, you know, whatever people want to talk about in terms of the meta the place of lucas film right now And I guess you want to culture or stuff or whatever, but like fundamentally this film sucks Meanwhile rewatching Otherwise rewatching the original trilogy the fucking blast It really is absolutely What a great trilogy that was what a great trilogy of three Pretty different films that are still bound together by a sort of same general core Uh formula that like culminates in the last crusade, which you know, I don't know how many of us agree But the the best one in the series in my opinion Yeah, I mean, it's it's not just what I think is the best of the three. It's like, what are my favorite movies? A movie kicks out. Uh, yeah, it's one of the best films ever made Uh, I'd be happy to say that and there's so much heart there There's so much passion behind the filmmaking so much creativity and ingenuity. They're just really fun Well balanced movies. They got lots of comedy. They got heart Uh, and they wrote off into the sunset and that was the end of the trilogy And then they couldn't help themselves because there's currently the fucking climate that we're in Well, they just have to keep like digging up the grave of these of these like franchises and these characters to parade them around and at the same time at the same time we have this dumb ass trend with Multiverse and time travel that has to be every fucking movie and media and Stop it stop seriously. I'm done with this bullshit time travel That to address mind bending to fucking figure out what you want And it's mind bending for you to well, it's not mind bending for you because you don't give a shit You just do the things like it makes sense. Yeah, no it doesn't shut the fuck up it's just It makes me angry when I see time travel. It's like this is fuck. This is going to be fucked. There's no way it's going to be Coherent at all. They have access to that and that's what they used it for Like they it's like a multi-verse madness It's like what are you going to do with your premise then because like I hate that you're choosing it But at least what will you do same by the way for the flash this goes Christ what a bunch of shitty films Yeah, and uh, I guess in a certain sense Is there cause for Optimism that it seems like these tricks aren't working anymore a little bit Yeah, I mean a good year for these types of projects marvel is now like their films actually have the capacity to fail Now every Lucasfilm property has been completely obliterated in terms of like future box office potential Yeah, the whole set has been completed There is nothing left at Lucasfilm that has not been plundered and raves and left in a ditch But I guess that there's one maybe medium term positive to take from that Which is that the reason Spielberg and Lucas and the like are popular anyway The reason they made their names and were given the opportunity to do that is because Throughout the sort of 40s 50s of Hollywood Then we were actually in a fairly similar position yet the rise of tv For parallel see rise of streaming and tv And that was taking a huge amount of money away from studios and in response to that studios did for cinema What we are currently seeing what they did is they tried to extrapolate and and to expand as far as possible The technological marvels that you can put on a big screen that don't fit on a small screen They wanted to do even bigger Production shots everything like all the great epics. They wanted to make it a visually splendid thing But there weren't any stories being told and these were the same old thing and eventually you saw the studio system Almost collapsed and some fairly large companies go out of business It's only after that that you get the Hollywood renaissance of the sort of 70s early 70s through to 80s And it's that period which the Spielberg come up and George Lucas come up And many of these people got their start doing tv as well Spielberg himself, you know, did early work on colombo of all things But eventually the studio started losing so much money on these big epic productions That they turned to young upstarts and said well, look, it can't possibly be worse So what have you got for us and they took risks and those risks gave us some of the greatest directors the greatest films It gave us indiana jones in in time and if we're at the sort of the the declining period of Of the 30s 40s in terms of historical parallels then Eventually there might be a renaissance coming after that, but it's it's going to be another decade probably before we start Seeing studios say yeah, maybe with all the multiverse stuff all the cgi megascapes with no story Maybe they've lost us so much money that we can't carry on it's going to be a while But these things go in cycles. They are repetitive history does repeat. So eventually you will have a recovery. It's just not yet Yeah, uh, I think you're right that it will probably take some time for them to react because I mean You know, this year has not been good for like a lot of these big franchise films It's been a lot more unpredictable which films are going to succeed and fail Whereas marvel movies were guaranteed to succeed or like disney remakes were guaranteed to succeed Like a lot of these projects are no longer reliably making money And I don't really know what this industry especially in the midst of the right distract going on like I don't know what the reaction to that is going to be Or how long it's going to take before changes start to happen in the filmmaking process But I mean every it's gone wrong. It's gone wrong and it seems like people are getting more receptive to that I Don't know why disney bought indiana jones like the the rights to well lukas star wars Uh, oh sure I get oh with lukas filming indiana jones just came along with it like a pack Yeah, indiana jones The willow and star wars and there's a couple of other like smaller things that nobody gives a shit about as far as I know These are the biggest hitters they had From lukas films. I I thought they bought indiana jones individually. So I guess that makes more sense It's a little bit more complicated. I think paramount still has some rights to indiana jones like distribution or something But it was part of the lukas film Deal essentially and they wouldn't turn up and like they love franchises or maybe they did but now it's not really It's not uh, I'm going willow's fate was to be removed from disney plus, right? What six months after it came out and it got like critically panned and nobody watched it Indiana jones is set to be one of the biggest like record breaking losses ever because of how insane the the budget balloon And then do I even what do I need to say about star wars? What did they do to that? Absolutely incredible work. So yeah, they know and they know They they got serious and somebody's to answer for all of this Oh, it's just they can delude themselves into thinking that people think these films are good But at the end of the day if people aren't showing up to watch the films like you can't keep going like this You can't keep going like this. You're just losing money And that's what the world compelled them to change in the long run But um money the interesting the interesting thing is that you've got A number of smaller studios or studios that began smaller which actually are a result of the hollywood renaissance and lukas film Is one of them pixel would be another one later on Both of which are now in dire straits because they are owned by moribund and intellectually bankrupt old studios which are Trying to leech profit off of things without really understanding what value That's that eventual loss of money the fact that everything because it's not just a lukas film problem It's not just a catherine kennedy problem. It's a disney problem. It's it's a paramount problem It's it's a problem with a huge number of large studios at the moment And the fact is that they do not any longer understand what created the value behind the properties They are now exploiting that means they will lose money that means eventually some of them will go bust And after that you will get a bit of desperation which prompts more innovation And maybe there'll be a new star wars or a new indiana joins And it won't be star wars or indiana joins anymore It'll be a brand new story because these things have been tied to corpses and dumped in the sea And like you mentioned before as well It will be the new filmmakers the new james camerons and stephen spielberg's george lukas's martin scorsese like That new generation of directors who right now with the studio system with uh like marvel where they make one Entity film and then get snatched up into these 200 million dollar ruins Well, and it's the same problem that the video game industry has right now with crunch Right who's going to be the next like hideriko jima kori bar log miya moto all these guys When so many people are you know like so many so much young talent is being uh Lost because of crunch Like permanently sort of uh, they don't want to be part of the industry anymore Like it's it's because it's it's the people who make the it's the people who make these things That like make the value that make the art It's not just indiana jones is like an intellectual property and the desire to turn it into a film And having the money to back it up. It's the it's the creativity behind it Like you need that. Well, I think that was illustrated heavily with star wars over a long period of time. I say long What is it like 2015 to now sort of like this journey? It's sad, but it's yeah, it's it's the star wars was a name and you know star wars were so incredible It would have characters that carry as much as an ip name like obi one like vader like The rest of them and they've all been squeezed And it's just crazy to think yeah lucas film is a dried corpse Uh, yeah pretty much. Yeah, and and in what eight years. Holy shit In eight years you made it to where star wars and indiana jones are not reliable In terms of making money. I mean I only took star wars three years to get to that point incredible Absolutely incredible a huge leg of uh, disney is is gonna be lucas film is like another one is marvel What have they got next the marvels? That's that's what marvels secret invasions viewership is like the second most of all No one cares about that show nobody and What's it gonna look like what's it gonna look like with echo or iron heart? The fuck like what how are those films gonna the films tv shows gonna perform and then just you know Elemental like another pixar film that's bombed when pixar used to be reliable money makers Like it's a real isn't it like what an interesting year 2023 is turning out to be for film and television And indiana jones has yet another piece of shit to throw on that because it sounds it sounds almost like it's like Oh, let me guess you didn't like a new thing that came out and it's just like dude Dude, I don't know what to tell you man There's not a scene the like there's there's maybe a line of dialogue here in there, but There is no scene that I consider to be solid There's no breaks in everything that's Maybe an individual component of 10 to 15 seconds. That's okay as long as you ignore everything else happened I don't want to do absolute shit We talked forever about how this was a bad idea from the start However, there are ways to make it work and then what that they chose to do was horrible That's what we got and then the execution was bad too. Even when the ideas are misguided. It's like wow just Yeah It's been a cool year for video games. Oh hard lads. Yeah, dead space Resident Evil 4 breath of the white not breath of tears of the kingdom Metro primary master fun of fantasy 16 is pretty cool. I've been enjoying that. That's lots of cool video games Yeah Oh golem who could forget golem a legend Golem will love the second one a scrap. It's done. They dead lick is like we're done. We're developing We're just publishing now. They died of embarrassment. I think yeah That's insane. Um, sorry guys. You won't get a follow-up on the golem streams. I'm so sorry But at least at least they got this hey That that that is that is indiana jones the dial of destiny Yeah, it's a fucking terrible thing avoid it never ever give give any attention to this thing. Let it die Let it fall into obscurity and the jones movies Go watch maybe have those somehow. Yeah, but they exist and they're great It's because I get asked the question quite often I'm sure you guys will do as well But you know when you give a pre-emptive review on twitter or somewhere and people say is it worth me watching and almost always I really want to say well make your own mind up go and watch it and find out This is one of the few films, but they are increasingly common where I say, you know what? No, it's it's genuinely just not watch it if you do want to find out for yourself But I'm pretty sure You will be wasting your money and your time. There is no point to this. It doesn't tell a story It doesn't go anywhere. It will only destroy what you liked about the character to begin with so What's the damn point? Yeah I hate to say it because it sounds so insane But like of all the timelines I we've got a really bad role here. This is one of the worst possible ones surely They did everything fucking wrong I don't think we mentioned it, but the the hat shot at the end was weird Yes, like oh god. Yeah So you see them making out inside right and then it cuts to outside And Phoebe whatever her name is is walking away. So presumably it's like a continuous exterior So they're still inside making out and then there's a crane shot upwards You see indy's hat on like a clothes peg. There's an iris clothes on the hat You're waiting for it to fully close. It's like oh, is it the end? And then indy snatches his hat off the clothes line. So what are you doing? So i'm thinking are they doing like sexy role play and like he's putting the hat on Yes, he's on during sex You're not indy when you're not wearing your hat. That's what she was saying through So, yeah, you're right. That was really fucking strange And I've I already know that apparently like there's there's comments from people like kathlyn kennedy or whatever being like, you know Hey, that Phoebe wallabridge, you know, she's she's a star and she really could take this franchise forward, you know It's it's it's not impossible Indiana Jones's hat that's not gonna. It's just funny man. It's like Fucking Harrison Ford can't even carry Indiana Jones right now. What do you think she's gonna do Oh So Before we wrap up. I think it should be said that I appreciate both Little platoon and john for hanging out with us for so long metal. You're just you know, you're just you're just here You're always here. I know I know the way Um for anybody because this is the beginning of stream I mentioned this bs rags couldn't make it but he'll be back from his holiday He will see this movie and he'll fucking despise it and then he'll be like Man, I wish I could have been on the stream to you know, have a bit of catharsis talking about it. I'm sorry In in any case, I would like to give everyone an opportunity to talk about what they're up to on their channels Why don't we start with little platoon? What are you up to mate? Um this sadly, so I'll be doing Indiana Jones 5. Yeah I think the the introduction is 12 000 words So it's um, it's gonna be going for a while. We'll see what happens. But yeah plenty of nd5 And then after that who knows some other travesty will come up I'm sure but um, but always a pleasure to be on efap because this has been really good fun The film was shit. I've seen it twice. This is made up for the suffering that I went through Good company and plenty of insights really appreciate it Um john what about yourself? I'm I'm still doing like these dumb self-contained RV in the chief episodes I did a the reboot was my last one where the show gets rebooted by a hollywood executive I'm doing another one called chief's big wiener It's really dumb Really long too, but whatever. I'm working on that and uh, yeah, john gray. I'm on youtube if you want to Subscribe and all that check it out Always thank you for having me on good. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Nice to have you back. It's been a I was about to say it's been a while Not really but kind of Just that amount of time Um metal, how about you sir? Uh, we're currently well, I I thought I'm gonna do a fortune on this but I really didn't want to So now I talked about it here. So there you go. Uh Uh, yeah, I don't know just for just coming up. I'm I'm probably gonna grab some people to just have a talk See about uh final fantasy 16 when I'm through the game Uh, I'm going through pretty slowly because I'm also working on other things. Uh, You and uh, you and I as a currently competing to see who can stream it more, right? Is that so maybe I don't know. I just that's what I see. I see the streams Look at them go playing the little video game. Yeah. Yeah Uh, is that any good ff 16? I'm I'm having to blast with it. Yeah, that's uh, I uh This thing's pretty good. I like it. But I'm not very far into it. Um I think I want to see how the combat develops as new abilities sort of get unlocked and whether it makes a little bit more Very than it is right now. It does. It does. I think I figure it does. Yeah, but yeah, it's fun Yeah, so I'm probably gonna grab some people to talk about that. I don't know Maybe Fringy, I don't know depends how far I don't know how far I'm getting I mean, I don't know. Maybe at some point you start Not playing Mario Kart and play other games. I don't know. Yeah Uh, we know that that's um, I'm probably gonna stream that tomorrow Grab some people for that forge and I guess the next big movie that's coming out is probably Mission Impossible, right? If I'm remembering correctly, that's Yeah, I think it's coming out this week actually At least over here It all lies on the Indiana Jones 5 drop off when Mission Impossible comes out and takes all of the views away That'll be fun. It says 12th on my on my whiteboard over there. So I why I oh no It's coming out this week over in Ausland. Well good for you A good point actually regarding like, uh, because I wasn't sure if dial of destiny would make its money back Because it's like the most expensive Indiana Jones movie that's been made And I'm not sure like I thought maybe it'll make its money back But not by a lot, but uh, Mission Impossible could really throw a wrench in that I think Uh, it's a busy and cramped time for the because there's a lot. There's that Bobby and Oppenheimer come out the same day Oh, yeah, there's another there's another movie. I'm forgetting about two that's coming out this month. It's uh, it's a busy month So, yeah Because that probably competes with the similar audience. So yeah, good luck Indiana Jones Uh, but but yeah, I'm uh I actually have my my script finished on my current project. I'm actually pretty happy with it right now So I'm probably going to start recording soon. So maybe There's going to be Natural information what it's going to be about uh sometime this month. Maybe we'll see about that And subscribe or I'll beat you up the links for all these lads in the description Fringy do me or yourself want to say anything about anything probably not I've just working I mean significant progress is being made. It's it's a chongas and um I don't know. Maybe maybe in two weeks at the lowest more information would be given Oh, that's all I said more information. It could be the vaguest information could be that we'd say what it may be, you know, who knows but um Uh, I mean, I've mentioned it on other streams. I'm on if anyone's been watching them I'm just editing pretty much every day. That's all it is and uh likewise It'll be fun to show you guys what ends up getting made So Give or game Uh on that no, I think that's that's gonna be it from us. We're gonna be heading out. Of course, uh, we'll be Doing uh catch-up streams, but we'll probably wait till rags is back to Check out these animal. Don't worry. I'll force him to watch indiana jones. He's gonna love it The big old fan of the the original three says Yeah, uh, and yeah, I love this one. Absolutely Actually, I I'm gonna be curious. What do you think so nice? So much, um, but yes, I'm so angry Until next time everybody. I'm not even sure if we'll be covering I don't know if it is mission impossible something that we might cover on evap Who knows we'll have to figure that one out because the I don't know if it's suitable or not. It could be fun though Oh, what about barbie? I'm actually thinking about covering that for the memes alone. I think it could be fun I'm probably gonna watch it. This kind of looks I'll probably watch it. I think cover on evap What about what about oppenheimer? I doubt that's gonna be very good for cover on evap. You know what we can Well, we can turn it to a we can turn it because we haven't seen tenet yet. It could be a double feature tenet and oppenheimer Arbenheimer evap That's well here It's like the the key thing you look for in a film for evap coverage like It's like you're a no one fan right like I figured maybe oppenheimer would be a candidate um I think I said this on the last real bbc. I have a way more of a fad of his first half than his second half of his work I think we're interested in what he's doing. I have a lot of respect for him as a filmmaker But I mean can't lie like I haven't injured. I don't like interstellar. I kind of don't like dunkirk I think the dark night rise of really bad like it's I need to rewatch um What's it called inception? I don't know if that's good or not. I can't remember That's a good that's it. I only watched it when it came out. I have no idea. I really like inception But we'll see like on a rewatch Yeah, uh, but I have a lot of respect for him as a filmmaker So like I'm always going to be interested in whatever he's working on part of what we look for I think is something that's definitely going to create a lot of conversations It's not just a series of this didn't make sense. This did this didn't this didn't this is more like We knew within the energy and it's like we're gonna have to talk a lot about matter what he means to the world what this film says about him and You know as soon as they introduce fucking time travel. I was like, well, that's gonna be a whole fucking thing Oppenheimer, I'm not sure Like how much we're gonna be able to draw much of a I have no idea what we're dealing with with a movie like that Um, I also worry a movie like that is probably gonna flop. I'm not sure Uh competing barbie seems like the one to the will win that competition. I think barbie has more mass more mass up here Yeah, and it seems like there's a hell of a lot of hype for barbie. Oppenheimer It's a bit of a harder sell I think Like you want to watch my pick about one of the guys who helped develop the atomic bomb compared to you want to watch a movie about barbie Like a well known well recognized iconic brand That has this huge stacked cast though Oppenheimer has a really stacked cast as well But yeah, I think that one struggles in a fight against the both, you know between those two films Um Damn it It looks so worried She told the fucking pit on his grenade as well another attempt Why don't it look so worried? It's like I don't trust that that a one bad lady That was a good hitler impression by the way Oh It's uh, it's definitely a take I feel like they should enter a lot of people's videos about this film Like it's so very confusing That act disney ana jones All right, thank you so much for watching everybody. We shall catch you in the next e-fap related thing whatever it may be And uh, appreciate you toodle pip. Good night. Cheerio Thanks, everybody. Bye. Bye. See you. Bye. Bye. Bye Belongs in a museum