 I'm the Comic Weekly Man, the Jolly Comic Weekly Man. And I'm here to read the funnies to you, happy boys and honey. Yes, boys and girls, it's comic weekly time. And here I come right into your house to bring a little fun and happiness. Right out of the pages of Puck the Comic Weekly, straight into your living room, your friend the Comic Weekly Man, the Jolly Comic Weekly Man. Hello, hello, hello. Hello, hello, hello. Little Miss Honey, how are you today? Oh, I'm so happy. What are you happy about? Christmas is coming. Oh, that's right. Jolly old St. Nicholas and Donor and Blitzen. And Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Yes, and I suppose you've written your letter to Santa Claus. Yes, I just mail it this morning. You think you're going to get everything you asked for? Yes, I think so, because I didn't ask for too much this year. Last year I asked for too much and I didn't get them all, so to make sure I wouldn't be disappointed this year, I didn't ask for too much this year. How many things did you ask for? Only 25 this year. Only 25? Yes, only 25. Well, I hope you get all of them. Yes, I hope so, because 25 presents is just about right for a girl my age. Yes, yes. Now will you please read me the funnies? Puck the Comic Weekly. Very well, I'll read that in just a moment. But before I do, let's listen to this nice man. With Puck the Comic Weekly and on the first page, Hop along Cassidy. Magic words for the music, please. Very well, my lady. Six cons blazing as it thunders along. Give us music for Hop along. In an attempt to find out who was smuggling the rifles to the Indians and thus enabling them to go on the war path, Hoppy had slipped into the logging camp where the trail had led him. He was captured, bound hand and foot, and sent down the river in an old hollow log into the hands of the Indians. Lucky in California with the marshal, have followed the trail which led them to the huge cave where the Indians are encamped, hiding behind a rock. They watch the Indians who are in a mad war dance and they see Hoppy tied to the stake. They realize Hoppy's only chance is to be able to free himself from the stake he's tied to. Lucky takes out his knife and says, I used to be pretty good at ball down home. This should be fairly easy. Last picture top row, he carefully throws the knife. He'll first at Hoppy. It lands right beside Hoppy's bound hand, first picture next row. Hoppy recognizes it's Lucky's knife. His hand closes around it. And he turns it against the rope that binds his wrist, third picture middle row and begins to saw away. At that moment, chief iron claw picks up one of the rifles and says, fourth picture. Braves all got noisestick. Now we're ready to raid pike landing. Black John takes the rifle and growls. Yeah, after I test one of these rifles on Cassidy. He cocks the trigger and aims the gun at Hoppy. Just then, last picture second row, Hoppy freezes his hands, rolls over and kicks a stack of ammunition into the campfire. Black John and the chief run in para for fear the shells will explode and the bullets hit them. Hoppy scrambles to his feet and runs toward Lucky in California and none too soon. Because the ammunition dumped into the campfire place begins to go off and shots fly in all directions. California Lucky and the Marshal run for the horses at the mouth of the cave, followed by several indos that carry rifles. They leap from the horses and gallop off. Hoppy shouts last picture. Unless we can reach pike's landing in time to set up a barricade, that town will be wiped off the map. Kill. Yes, that's right. I wonder if they get the pike's landing in time to set up the barricade. That's something we'll find out next week when I'm sure we'll see a very exciting adventure. Oh, yes, I'm sure. Now? Well, now Prince Valiant on page three. Very well, over the page we go. And you're right. Here's Prince Val on page three. Remember, the pirate had tried to kidnap Tillicombe when she said he'd flee from the dungeon and he'd been locked up. Yes, but Tillicombe, even though she loved Boulter, escaped from him to go back to Alita and Prince Arne. I wonder what happens when she gets back today. Well, let's read right now and find out. Here we go with Prince Valiant in the days of King Arthur. Eckett, Brackett, Graymalkin and Quince. Music romantic for a fair, fair prince. ["The Star-Spangled Banner"] Bolter is an unhappy man, for he's an outlaw now fleeing before the wrath of his king. And he has lost the woman he loves, Tillicombe, who had refused to go with him even though he's sure she loves him. Under his feet, his beloved ship leaps forward like a living thing. Before him, the freedom of the wide, wild seas. But now the flavor is gone. He's found a greater love too late. Meanwhile, Tillicombe has been returned to the castle again by the king's soldiers and has been brought before King Agua, who wonders how to deal with her. Last picture, top row, he is quite relieved when Alita whispers in his ears that Tillicombe is the property of her son, Prince Arne, and suggests that King Agua put Tillicombe's fate in Alita's hands. For after all, this is a woman's affair. First picture, next row, Alita asks Tillicombe why she had freed Boltaar and then escaped from Boltaar when he tried to kidnap her. Tillicombe replies that it was because her tribe had commanded her to devote her life to the welfare of Prince Arne. Alita, grateful for such loyalty, tells Tillicombe she knows that she's in love with Boltaar and therefore they must get Boltaar back for her. Because when Prince Arne grows up, it's quite obvious that Tillicombe, a woman, cannot go to the wars or on adventures with him. And Prince Arne will need a brave young warrior, a squire, to watch over him. Tillicombe blushes because she realizes that what Alita is saying is that the son of Boltaar and Tillicombe would be an ideal squire for young Prince Arne. First picture, bottom row, far in the north among the Shetland Islands, we are once again at Boltaar's new headquarters. There come the ships of rovers, boisterous sea raiders and adventurers. Or Boltaar's a great leader, a hero among the Vikings. And one captain who has just returned brings a nominous rumor from the south. He tells Boltaar last picture. The Danes have gathered together great fleet of ships and are moving northward to bring fire and saw to our homelands. Sounds as though the Danes are going to attack Thule. Well, that's Valfons. That's right. Or maybe Boltaar. I think that's the very thought that's in Boltaar's mind. Oh, that'll be wonderful because then Tillicombe could marry Boltaar and they could have a baby too. Yes, that will be wonderful. But we'll find out more about that next week. Now? Oh, now can we please read Alice in Wonderland? We certainly can, so let's turn over the page. Go past Jungle Jim over another page, past Buzz Sawyer and Donald Duck. And there at the top of page eight is Alice in Wonderland. Oh, yes, here she is. The Queen of Hearts, who was very cool. Yes, and the Cheshire cat had played a trick on the Queen. But the Queen thought that Alice was to blame and she ordered that Alice should have her head chopped off at the trial, remember? Yes, and then Alice suddenly jumped up and ran away and everyone ran after. Oh, I hope she gets away. Well, let's find out right now. Here we go with Alice in Wonderland. Say the magic words with me. Now for a story that gets curiouser and curiouser. Alice in Wonderland, so music, sir, music, sir. Alice flees through Wonderland with the Queen of Hearts in her armoring and pursuit. In and out between the many trees and bushes and shapes of hearts, Alice roams through the angry Queen and the card soldiers of heart pursuit. Closer and closer comes the Queen, third picture, and she shouts, oh, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo. Last picture top roll, Alice escapes from the garden and as if in a nightmare races along the beach. Past the curious creatures of Wonderland she goes. Past the March Hare and the Mad Hatter who are sitting in a cup and who call to Alice. And then, first picture bottom roll, Alice plunges into a dim tunnel as the Wonderland pursuers press nearer and nearer. Up with her head, up with her head. And then, suddenly, a swirl of brilliant lights dazzles Alice and a faraway voice calls her name. Suddenly the pursuers disappear. Third picture bottom roll, Alice opens her eyes and sees, standing before her, her nurse who is waking Alice. She tells Alice that she has slept all through her history lesson and then holds out her hand to her last picture, saying, come, Alice, dear, it's time for tea. Alice looks around her and sees that she's home in her own garden, holding her own little kitten in her arms and Alice sighs to realize she's home safely, but she did think it was a wonderful dream. That's the end. Was this adventure in Wonderland? So did I. It was really a very charming story. Yes. I'm glad she got home all right without any trouble. So am I. Well, now I'll bet you it's time for Dagwit and Blondie. I'll bet you it is. And here it is. And I'll read them right away. So here we go with Dagwit and Blondie. I'm a food, I'm a fum, zim, zim, zombie. Conjuby music for Dagwit and Blondie. Dagwit hears a mysterious tapping on his back door. He opens it. There stands his neighbor, Herb Woodley, his arms loaded with presents. Herb whispers to Dagwit. Hey, Dagwit. Nootsie thinks I've forgotten our anniversary, and I don't want her to see these gifts until the night. Dagwit smiles and says, Oh, I'll help you, Herb. We'll hide them in our closet until the night. Oh, good. It's the first anniversary I've remembered in years, and I want it to be a big event. Blondie music for Dagwit and Blondie. Last picture top row, Cookie, Dagwit's little daughter, opens the closet and says to Blondie, Hey, look, Mom, at all the pretty gifts, Dad, he just hid in the closet. Blondie exclaims, Oh, well, my birthday isn't until this time, next month. Cookie says, first picture, next row. Well, he must think it's your birthday today. Okay, we'll pretend today is my birthday, so he won't be embarrassed. Blondie music for Dagwit and Blondie. The moment later, she's at the Woodley house, telling Herb's wife, Oh, Tootsie, come over and see all the beautiful presents Dagwit brought me for my birthday. Blondie music for Dagwit and Blondie. Last picture, second row, Tootsie turns to Herb Woodley and sobs, Oh, you worm, Dagwit remembered his wife's birthday. Herb growls, Oh, wait a minute, I'll get that guy. Blondie music for Dagwit and Blondie. The moment later, the door at the Bumstead house opens. Herb glares at Dagwit. So, you use my wife's presents for your wife's birthday, huh? And he leaps at him. Dagwit groans, Holy smokes, I thought Blondie's birthday was next month. Blondie music for Dagwit. A little later, downtown at a department store, Dagwit rushes in and stops in front of a counter, throws some money in the counter, points to a bunch of boxes and says to the sales girl, Hey, quick, quick, give, wrap all these things, I want them in two minutes. Blondie music for Dagwit Meanwhile, last picture, third row, Herb gets the presents out of the closet and gives them to Tootsie explaining, Hey, there you are darling, Dagwit just hid them for me. Blondie music for Dagwit As they go out the door, first picture, bottom row, Blondie turns to Alexander and Cookie and says, It's all my fault for thinking Daddy thought today was my birthday. Alexander replies, Yeah, we are underrated, Pop. He's too smart to make a mistake like that. At that moment, the door bursts open, Dagwit dashes in, his arms loaded with presents and he stops in front of Blondie and shouts, Happy birthday to the sweetest little wife in all the world. Blondie and Cookie and Alexander go, Last picture, they unwrap all the packages and Blondie says, Oh, the gifts are simply adorable. Dagwit sticks out his chest and says, Leave it to me to remember important dates. Gotten a date after all. Yes. Wait till he finds out that Blondie's birthday is next month and that he has to do this all over again. Oh, I'd like to see this again. Well, you'll have a good chance to because we'll be here then. Now look underneath Dagwit and Blondie. There's Roy Rogers. Yes, read that page. I'll read it in just a moment, but first here's that nice man again with something interesting to say. Now here we go again with Puck the Comic Weekly and at the bottom of the first page of the second section, Roy Rogers, King of the Cowboys. Magic words for the music, please. Very well, my lady. Ah, yip-pio. Now here we go with Roy and Trigger. Ah, yip-pio. Roy has joined his friend Doleful Hawkins who has a job guarding steers which are to be shipped by train. He's told Roy that a whole carload of steers have been stolen. Doleful is in trouble. As the train's coming out of a tunnel in the mountains, a hand appeared above the train for behind some bushes and dropped dynamite in the train's smokestack. An explosion followed. And the engine was blown off the tracks and the engineer killed. The remainder of the train stays on the tracks. First picture, a slick-looking character steps out from the bushes and says to a burly fellow beside him, Well, the dynamite I dropped into the smokestack ruined the engine, Rocky. Now we'll rustle the whole train of steers like the big boss owner. The man named Rocky replies third picture. Gee, you sure got brains, dude. I got a handle to you, dude. It's just better not hitching one car at a time as the train comes up to grade like we've been doing. Dude replies, get busy and search the cattle cars for Doleful Hawkins, the train guard. Meanwhile, last picture, top row, Roy and Doleful have opened the door to their boxcar to investigate the cause of the train wreck. Doleful saying, Dad, where did Roy? This spur of line to South Gap is sure jinxed. If it ain't cars vanishing in the thin air, it's something else. Roy replies, come on, get Trigger and your horse on load at Doleful. We've got to find out about that explosion. As they lead the horses out, first picture, bottom row, the man named Rocky steps around the boxcar gun in hand and says, OK, gents, raise them. Got company this trip, huh, Hawkins? What is going to be your last one? A few minutes later, Roy and Doleful tied to a tree nearby, third picture, bottom row, see the man named Dude supervising a gang of men who uncoupled the engine. And last picture, quickly lay down a spur track which leads off into the hills. Here, Dude say, hurry up. Get those rails in place so we can switch the cars over to the old side. Rocky shouts in the top of the train. Yeah, yeah, hurry up. We're regular magicians, ain't we, Dude? We're going to make this whole train disappear. Roy will find a way to outsmart these crooks. I know. I'm afraid we're going to have to. We certainly can. Here he is on the next page. I'm anxious to find out about Flash because, remember, he's on the planet Mars in a monastery. Yes, the Queen of Mars meant her was showing Flash through her kingdom. And they came into one of the buildings where the weapons were kept. And she showed them a little dragon-like thing that was kept in a container. Yes, an omnivore. Yes, an omnivore. And Link. And then Link, that's Flash's friend. He dropped the container to the floor where it crashed and broke open and the omnivore expanded. Yes, and his tail whipped around the containers containing other omnivores. And they all escaped. And now the room is full of huge dragons. All right, here we go with Flash Gordon. Regga regga dune dunes, haskem attach. Let's have music for heroic Flash. Flash fires his way pistol at the attacking omnivores. But his racket blasts have no effect. They dash up a ladder to climb to a platform high above the room. But the omnivores can eat anything from meat to metal. And one of them even devours a ladder in which Flash and Dale are fleeing. Flash and Dale scramble to safety for the moment on the platform last picture top row. Mentor on the earth people watch in horror as the omnivores try to reach their perch. The Viking Queen screams a command to the guards to open the liquid oxygen jets because it's their only chance. In a second, the liquid oxygen jets are turned on. And in no time at all, streams of oxygen, first picture bottom row, cascade down on the ravenous monsters, freezing them into eerie statues. The danger passed. Mentor turns on Link and tells him that although he's seen how to overcome the omnivores, it'll do him no good. Flash interrupts Mentor's tirade and says grimly, don't underestimate us, Earthman. If your scientist could perfect a defense against these monsters, ours can too. Give up your dream of conquering the earth. Let our planets live in peace. Mentor pretends to heed Flash's plea. She smiles sweetly and speeds the earth people back to her palace. Flash's picture, as soon as they're alone, Flash whispers to Dale and Link, she'll never let us leave Mars alone or alive with the secret of those liquid oxygen jets. We've got to outwear. Yes, so was I. And that Flash could get back to Earth, all right. Well, I hope so too, but next week we'll find out if Flash can find a new scheme to outwit Mentor and escape safely. Well, I hope he does. Well, we'll find that out. Now I think it's time for Dick's adventures. I'm anxious to read that because you remember Dick was with Captain Lewis and Clark who starred on a wonderful exploring expedition. Yes, and Dick had been sent with a message to the White House in Washington to tell President Jefferson that the expedition had started. It was very wonderful talking to the president and when he was leaving the White House to start back, a man who was a foreigner stepped out of the bushes and said he wanted to talk to Dick. I wonder what he had to say. Well, let's find out right now. The very last page. The very last page. And here we go with Dick's adventures. Say the magic words with me. Rickety-pack-ca-zack-ca-zack. Let's have music for adventurous Dick. Stubbornly, a heavy square stale barge has been working its way up the unexplored Missouri River. In command of the expedition are two young army captains, brilliant and temperamental Mary Wether Lewis and solid, common-sense William Clark. Well, a courier is racing back from the nation's capital to catch up with the expedition, where he has alarming news. It is Dick racing to rejoin captains Lewis and Clark. He sees a friendly Indian. Last picture, top roll and stops. The Indian tells him, big canoe with many white warriors, not far. Thanks. Come on, get up, Richard. Night has fallen before Dick finds his comrades who have docked on the river for the night. First picture, next roll. He treated with joy, but Mary Wether Lewis sees something's on Dick's mind and he asks him what's wrong. Dick, big picture, middle row, tells a strange story. Well, I went to Washington to report to President Jefferson that our expedition has started. All the foreign diplomats heard me, and as I was leaving the executive mansion, a foreign officer came up to me. He said his government didn't want American soldiers barging up to the Pacific, and he offered me money to make our man dessert. Well, we argued for a while, but finally I gave him a direct answer. The answer was no, and I gave him a good sock on the chin to prove it. Mary Wether Lewis says, last picture, well, bravely done, Dick. No government save our own can stop this exploration, but if round comes on Captain Clark's face as he murmurs, we better be doubly alert from now on. Become a traitor, didn't he? That's exactly what he wanted. Dick, no one could make him be a traitor. I should say not. No. I bet you they're going to have some trouble from now on with those foreign officers. Well, maybe we'll find out more about that next week. But now look. Oh, yes. Here underneath Dick's adventures is Rusty Rowland, and I'm anxious to read that because that boy Vivian that I thought was going to cause so much trouble when he came to live with Rusty's place, you know, he seems to be turning out to be a little bit nicer. Yes, that was because Tex decided to call him Pete instead of Vivian. Yes, Tex thought he was acting tough because he had a girl's name and he wanted to show people that he was a real boy. Yes, that's right. And you remember last week, too, that that surpressival, that Englishman that I don't trust very much, he was just coming up to the milestone farm and I'm anxious to find out what he wants. Well, it had to do something with Vivian. You mean Pete? Yes, I mean Pete. Well, let's find out right now. Here we go with Rusty Riley. Gallop and run till the road is dusty. Give us music for his horse and Rusty. Mr. Miles is telling the boy, Vivian, now called Pete, that he can't drive his car anymore because he doesn't have a license to drive it. Pete doesn't like this. What he agrees to do with Mr. Miles says, as he's about to leave, Rusty sticks his head through the curtains and says, second picture, Well, excuse me, Mr. Miles, there's a gentleman to see you. He says his name is Sir Percival Inglebrook. Mr. Miles replies, Well, I don't recall that name, but ask him to come in, Rusty. Rusty shows Sir Percival in. Mr. Miles sees a pompous Englishman with a walnuts mustache. Sir Percival says, third picture. I'm Mr. Miles. How'd you do? Good if you'd see me. Well, my word. Aren't you young master Peters? Fancy meeting you here again. Pete replies, Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah. You and another man were at that little hotel back in Springfield. Pete goes out of the room. Last picture, top row. Mr. Miles says to Sir Percival, as he shows him to a chair. Well, Sir Percival, welcome to Milestone. So, you know my young guest, Vivian Peters. Uh, acquainted would be a better word. I met him quite my chance a few days ago. I knew about his father back in England. I'm a yes chap, quite a hero. Uh, but about my visit here, sir. And he goes on first picture bottom row. I'm horse fancy, like yourself, sir. So my tour of your country wouldn't be complete without a visit to Milestone. Oh, by the way, my man and I read difficulty in obtaining accommodations. Uh, if, uh, well, that is, if you have influence at any of the hotels. Well, perhaps I can prevail upon you to accept the hospitality of Milestone Farm. In fact, I insist. I'll send for Rusty to look after your man. A few minutes later, Pete sees Rusty running through the yard. He calls. Hey, where you going, Rusty? Rusty replies, Well, Mr. Miles wants me to show Sir Percival's man to where he's gonna stay. Collie, Sir Percival must be an awful important person. Now, what's the matter, Pete? He looked kind of doubtful. Pete replies, Well, he doesn't make sense, Rusty. Maybe he's a big shot, but while back in Springville, he and the other guy tried to get a hit from me. But my car was too small. Later in Sir Percival's room, his crony, Navi, who is masquerading as Sir Percival's chauffeur, brings in his bags. He says, last picture. Well, here's your stuff, Sir Percival. Sir Percival replies, Yes, that's better. Must keep in practice, you know. Well, Navi, we're over the first big hurdle. I have allowed Miles to prevail upon me. He'll be a guest here. To get Mr. Miles to let him stay at his place. Yes, it was. It was a tricky thing to do. I wonder whether Rusty will tell Mr. Miles what Pete just told him that the man was so poor that he tried to catch a ride with Pete in his little car. Well, I hope Rusty does tell him because that'll put Mr. Miles in his guard. But we'll find out about that next week. Now, that's all the time I have. But before I go, here's that nice fellow with some more interesting information. Well, honey, and all your boys and girls, I gotta go now. All right, Mr. Comic Weekly Man, but I'll be waiting for you next week. Okay, that's a date. And a date with all your boys and girls. Be sure to meet me with our little friend Miss Honey next week when I read Pock the Comic Weekly. For I'm the Comic Weekly Man, the Jolly Comic Weekly Man. I'll be back to read the funnies to you happy boys and honey. Don't forget, boys and girls, see you all next week. Your friend the Comic Weekly Man, the Jolly Comic Weekly Man.