 Hey, so I made one of these in the past. It was called Thoughts from a Bathtub where I said I got all my best thinking done in the Bathtub and told you my thoughts. People have been highly requesting me making a second one. This one is going to be slightly more formal because nothing screams bath time quite like a bright cherry lip with some pearls on. Petition to make formal bath time a thing. Gonna add some class to this bath. And if you don't mind, I think I'm gonna get slightly less wet with slightly less props this time. But without further ado, here is Thoughts from a Bathtub 2. Sometimes in life you're the hammer. Other times you're the nail. Sometimes you're the tape measure. A bad time to have diarrhea is when you're on a zipline. You can't fit a square peg in a round hole, but you can light everything on fire. If coyotes could just figure out how to stand up and not do everything with their face, they wouldn't have to hunt in packs. Donuts aren't even real nuts. Illuminati confirmed. They already make hot sauce, but why don't they make cold sauce for food that's too spicy? Calling a couch oversized is fat-shaming. I should call them what they are. Group and ask. Why leave a question blank on a test when you could leave it blanket? At least then it would be warm. Putting makeup on and painting a canvas are basically the same thing. Just don't sign your name at the bottom of your face. It's weird. Birds of a feather flock together, but birds of no feather don't really flock at all. They sort of just naked gather. What goes up must come down, unless you jump on a trampoline with a jet pack off. I think it should be socially acceptable to sprint anywhere you want to. It's faster, and I'm in a hurry. It's not my fault you're in third place at Gary's funeral. One time I wished upon a cloud. I was wondering why there are police dogs, but no police cats. Then I realized that the police probably don't have any use for selfish do-nothing employee. If we were Pangaea again, the beach would be so crowded. Lots of kids make volcanoes for science projects, but how come more kids don't make earthquakes by just showing up to class and shaking the table? If I was a landlord, I'd be cool about it. I'd like people to just call me Lord. The weird tabletop is redundant. Without a top, it's just legs. We all know that only deviants eat their spaghetti off of legs. Humans can get their hair done. But if you bring in your dog and say, I'd like to get him done, you can find out what kind of day that person's having based on whether or not you get arrested. Thank God for bridges. Some people that work in retail must wake up and think to themselves, how can I bother the fuck out of everyone that walks in here today? Don't hate the player. Hate the coach. Because it's Billy's dad. He's an alcoholic. You might pet your dog, but I'm gonna be honest. I more like hand assault them in a petting motion. I think alarm systems would be more effective if instead of alarm noises, they just shouted out the entire Gettysburg address. April showers, spring May flowers, but one time your parents had sex with each other. Why stop at a coat rack when you could get a shoe rack and a shirt rack and an underwear rack and then you could just get naked right when you get home? What if bingo wasn't his name though? What if it was Ringo or Gerald? Just between you and me. I think a really dirty lazy person. Double your pleasure. Double your fun. Does not apply to wearing your glasses over your contacts. How many people do you think the line FaceTime me that pussy actually relates to? I want a bra for my butt. A butt bra. Besides butt. I never understood child leashes until I saw a kid give no fucks at the Grand Canyon. I get it now. I will now perform the opening song Bonjour from the movie Beauty and the Beast. Like that's problematic don't you think? So yeah those are my thoughts from my bathtub. I hope you liked my thoughts because I thought them and then I said them from my bathtub in my formal attire in my formal bath. Make sure you subscribe to my channel. I put out new videos every Wednesday slash Thursday. See you guys next week. I feel vulnerable now. I feel very vulnerable. I feel out there. Okay bye. Koff in a bath. Okay bye.