 Good evening, friends. Once we have a speaker like Mehranosh Rindhariya, who is India's first and only W3 coach, internationally certified master trainer, a neuro-linguistic programming, what we in short call us NLP. We can always understand not only his body language, but language of influence is the journey which we'll traverse today. And as I say that, we always learn that body language is one of the facets with one. And understand and things can be improved. But how does the language itself influence somebody? These are particular aspects in today's journey of knowledge sharing, I can say, though not technically knowledge sharing. All that language of influence is to be used in day-to-day life. Is the journey to be taken today? And we are glad that Mehranosh has actually agreed for the second session. The first session is already doing extremely well on our session. On this platform, they can watch it. Or do you, Mehranosh, thank you. And Eid Mubarak to everyone. Thank you. Thank you, Vikasji. And good evening, everyone. Welcome to the session. So those who are familiar with my approach, you would know that I like to keep my sessions interactive, right? So I would invite you to also comment, type in, and share as in when I tell you. OK. So firstly, thanks once again to be here on this platform with Vikasji. And as he mentioned, this is the second time that I'm over here. And of course, I'm sure, that I've been invited again. So thank you for your love and affection and invitation always. Well, the topic today is the language of influence. And when we talk about language of influence, a quick check. What is influence, according to you? You can type in the chat. What is influence? Influence, a quick check. Well, I'm keeping my YouTube also on so that I can see the chat so well. Yeah. What according to you is influence? OK, building an image of yourself. OK. All right. What else? Which leads to change in the listener. Very true, right? There is another person at the other end. And you are attempting to influence that person's mind, leading to some change in action, behavior, thought process, something or the other, right? What else? Creating impact. OK. OK. Influence can be understood in multiple contexts. One is when there is one too many. And you are building an image of yourself and creating that impact. I would say it's more like on social media and on YouTube everywhere you find influences. Now, that is a different kind of influence that we're talking about where you're having influence on masses. At the same time, there is an element of influence on one-on-one. What we are going to cover today will cover both masses as well as one-on-one. But whatever you are intending to convey to someone, would you agree that ultimately you are attempting to get someone to do something or at least behave in some way? Yes, would you agree with me? Right? Yeah, thank you. Vikasji, you need to allow me to share the screen, please. So would it be OK to say that influence is the art of getting someone to do what you want them to do? Vikasji, I'm not able to share the screen. Can you please help? Just follow. Yeah. Yeah. Meanwhile, you can continue on just doing. Yeah. So listen to the words I'm using over here. Influence is about getting someone to do what you want them to do. Is that a good enough definition of influence? What would you say? True, yeah? Getting someone to do what you want them to do. Because you are trying to convey to them a certain way of working, a certain way of thinking, yeah, to some extent, yeah. So what, how would you like to refine that? So since the screen sharing is not working, I'm going to type in the chat box here in Zoom. People on live may not be able to see it, but that we will resolve once the screen is being shared. Getting someone to do something that you want them to do. OK? So I have typed these words in the chat over here. What do you think, what changes would you like to make to this that would maybe more refine the element or the definition of influence? You can share in the chat over here. What do you think? I'm able to share now. Thank you. OK, so getting someone to do what you want them to do. What would you like to refine that would be more appropriate to what influences if it is not this? Persuasion, OK. So what is persuasion in tail? How would you refine this? What if we add something over here and make it like this? Getting someone to want to do what you want them to do. Yes, Ankit is saying, understand the way of thinking of target first and then communicating in the same manner. Exactly. And what does that entail? Notice the minor shift in the definition over here. Yes, Dr. Belagal. Absolutely, right? It is getting someone to do what you want them to do. No, but getting someone to want to do what you want them to do. See the first definition that is there over here, the first version that we saw, would actually apply in any situation of power, position, coercion, force, threat, getting someone to do what you want them to do. You can put a gun on their head and say, let's do it now. Or because of your authority, you can do that. And in organizations or whichever hierarchy situations we see, there will be authorities of power from where people do operate and say that because I have said it and because I am the boss, this is what you're going to do, right? But that is not influence. That is power, that is authority. Influence is when you are able to convey something to somebody in such a manner that they actually look forward to do it. They actually feel that it was not your idea, it was their idea. They are so amazed by that they want to do it because not because you said it, because they now feel the need to do it. Would you agree with me? That influence comes from convincing the other person that what you are telling them is in their best interest. And because of that best interest, they would be interested in doing what you want them to do. So if that is what influence is and that is what you all, we are all on the same page now to begin with, to understand this definition of influence. Now let's dive into what we call as the language of influence. Does this exact intention, which I just mentioned, this exact intent I would say when you are using it behind the process of influencing? How can that be reflected in language? What do you need to do? Yes, you can share in the chat box here on Zoom or on YouTube. What do you need to do? How can you convey this intent in a way that it applies the best intention of the other person or best well-being of the other person? Any thoughts? While you think about that, also give a thought to what could be the role of language in doing all of that. By language, I don't mean your mother tongue or your foreign language, native language, English language, Hindi language, I'm not talking about that. The language we are talking about is understanding that language has an impact on the mind. The way you portray your world depicts in your language. So what I would like you to do is, as you are listening to this, whether live or recorded, if you're live, at least those people who are live, you can hear it right now, type in the chat box, fill in the blanks, type in the chat box, life is and dash completed. Life is beautiful, beautiful, purpose, journey. OK, all right, life is beautiful, often. Nice to know that we are among a set of people or lot of you think that life is beautiful, very good and purposeful also. Life is for doing performance, interesting, good. What other ways do you find people talking about life? Or you also can elaborate more words to it. Life is dash, if I were to give you five options or five attempts to fill this, life is dash, life is dash, life is dash, life is dash, what will you do? OK, precious, experience, doing performance, life with bliss, life with illusion, OK, interesting. All right, life is a journey, yes. OK, interesting, nothing right or wrong over here. Life is what we make of it, interesting. That is what it is, right? There's nothing right or wrong. It is exactly what you make of it. And what you make of life is conveyed through the way you mention, you narrate, you share the experience about it and saying that this is like what it is. See, we have understood that, or rather, we all think about language as a tool of narrating our experience. We feel there is an experience, and we are sharing it through language, right? So language becomes a medium. Language becomes a tool of expressing. I'm sure if you ask people around you, or even if I ask you to describe what does language mean, you will say that, yeah, language means that's a communication mode. It's a medium of communication. It's a means of expressing your thoughts or narrating an experience. I would invite you to look at language in a different way as well. While this definition is also true, think about it this way. While we do use language to narrate experience, the way we use language can actually define our experience. The way we use language can actually shape our experiences. You will find people who say that, yeah, life is journey. Life is a freedom. Nice. What kind of life are they inviting towards themselves? They're inviting a life which reflects the life of journey, a life of freedom, a beauty life, a blissful life, right? And there would be people who you know around you who would have gone through a lot of hardship, struggle. OK, we don't deny that. That is there. But if you ask them, describe what life is, often they may reply, life is a struggle. They are talking from their experience. We are not denying their experience. But while these words are being used to describe their experience, can you imagine also the impact of the words on their future experiences? When we say life is a struggle, what are you saying? Life is going to be a struggle, right? OK, we'll do one more similar activity. I'm going to give you another phrase like that. And I want you to fill in the blanks. And then we'll talk more about understanding. I am Dash. Comment over here. I am Dash. I am Miracle. Wonderful. I am a transformer. I am blessed. I am God's savorage child. I am an influencer. Lovely. Good to read all the comments here in the Zoom. Good. Right? Anymore. I am a learner. Great. OK, I'm also checking on YouTube Live. OK. I'm ready to perform my aim. Good. I'm confident. OK. Good. I'm powerful. Good. All right. Nice, all positive, empowering words. Very good. Now, sometimes you find people saying this. I am a problem solver. Tell me one thing. What does this imply? Firstly, tell me one thing. Is this empowering? Yes, right? I'm sure you would all agree. Wow, what an empowering statement. This is, I am a problem solver. I'm resilient. OK. Now, think about this. Ready for everything. OK, good. While I am a problem solver may seem to be a empowering statement, right, as there is a mention in the chat box. What is it inviting in your life? I mean, think about it this way. Understand the power of your words in your life. OK? Whatever you are saying that is creating your reality. So I'm a problem solver. As I told you earlier, you may be saying it out of full confidence about what you are capable of doing excellent. But in future, for that identity to sustain, what is your mind going to need more of in life? Take this example. My question is, to sustain this identity of being a problem solver, what is the mind going to look out for? Problems, exactly, right? There are certain words or language that you speak. There is a presupposition behind language. In English, we call it as a presupposition. But in Hindi, to simplify, it would be like, whatever you are conveying in language, given or fact, that fact is reflected through what you are talking. Which means that what needs to be around you for this statement to be true. So that I am a problem solver, invites a lot of problems. Or rather, the mind seeks problems. So where is the problem? If there is a problem, I will solve it. Some people say, I am a warrior. Very inspiring, right? I am a warrior. Now think about it, if you say I am a warrior, what is going to happen in your world? War, war, war. What will you win? Because your mental power is there. You are creating that affirmation, that statement that I am a warrior. You will win, I am not doubting that. But do you need war to be there for you to win? Think about it, what would life be if life was at peace and still you were winning, right? So you want peace or you want hatred or you want clash, you want conflict. Now same thing, how can you rephrase it in a different way? The way, where the way you say it is also empowering only. Empowering will be there. But along with that, it is not attracting the negative part that is related to that. We are not denying the truth over you. We are only reframing the situation to a different experience. So it could be like I am a solution provider instead of I am a problem solver. Now what is your mind looking for? Solutions. Now you may say that solution hone ke li mi problem shayana. But warm are a conscious mind, logic is kicking in to say that this is opposite of this or correction of this or synonym of this, blah, blah, blah. Think about it. What makes you feel more relaxed, empowered and in control? Existence of problem, yeah, existence of solution. Whatever you are depicting is going to invite the existence of that, right? So existence of solution, right? So be mindful about the words that you use. So language may, when we are getting into deep diving into what language of influences, remember one thing that your words are creating your world. Like someone mentioned miracle, right? Or helpful or beautiful or amazing or struggle, achiever, depressing, or confusing. Ab jo bol rahe ho, universe bol rahe, satya hai, tathas too. And that is what you are going to attract more and more of. There is a science behind this, but I'm not going to go into that science right now because we are going to focus on the object of today, which is the language of influence. And we have already described influence that influence is about ensuring that the other person understands what is best at heart for them. Dhusroki bhalay kis me hai, wo unko batana boh zaroori hai. Before you make them do what you want them to do. How many of y'all here would like to influence someone in particular? Type in the chat box. Koi demag me hai aapke jisko aap influence karna chaate ho. Someone specific. Okay, don't tell me I want to be an influencer and influence the world. Okay, that is appreciated. I'm talking about specific people in your life who you want to influence. Think about the persons that you have in mind. I'm sure there might be more than one, right? But think about now a specific person. Yeah, like your mother, brother, son, right? Colleague, team member, junior. Maybe your boss also. You want to influence that person. Now, my next question to you is, I told you think about the person you want to influence. Now take any one person from this and think about what do you want to influence them to do? Aap kya karwana chaate ho anse? Karwana hosakta hai or sochna bhi hosakta hai? You may want them to change the way in which they think. You may want them to think differently. What is it that you want them to do? Think about that. Action, behavior, yaat thought, kya hai jo aap badal na chaate hoon di? Okay, it could be anything, any context. Just think about that. Keep it in mind. And now my question to you is that why do you want them to do that? Want them to do what he wants to do on the rightful way? Yeah, you want your son to do what he wants to do in a rightful way, wonderful. What is the reason that you want that person to do what you want? Pele aapne socha ho is the person? Second I told you what is it that you want them to do? Now I'm asking you to think, why do you want them to do that? For peace at home, okay? So you would agree when you thought about this, you would agree that whatever you are thinking about the why, why you want them to do that. Iske piche jo reason hai. The reason behind that is related to something which is beneficial not only to you, but also for the other person, right? Yeah, I'm reading the comments now for good understanding. It is some of the experiences which I don't want them to have so that they don't face the same issues in life. For the future, enhancing the image of the family. You have all the right intent. You have all the good intent. You have all the good well-wishing for them. You have their well-being at heart, correct? Koi yaha pe manipulation nahi kar rahe. Vardha bhiye nahi ke hum influence ki baat kar rahe, toh kisi aur ko dhokadari deke unko cheet karne ke baat hai, not that. The very fact that you thought right now of people who you want to convince for some action with a clear intention or purpose in mind is about ensuring that you have a well-being at heart also of the other person, correct? For better harmony, for better peace, yes? Now you answer this one simple question I'm asking you. If you are already having a well-being of that person in your heart, then how come they are not listening to you on that point? How come you are, how come that thought came to you that this is where I want to apply influence? Matlab kain pe toh kuch toh struggle aur hai nahi ko? Somewhere you are feeling that I want to do this in a better way. Somewhere you are feeling that though I have the best intent of that person in my heart, usko sumajme kyuni aar hai? Mujhe itna seekhna kyuni par raha hai kyuni usko kese sumja ho? So my question to you is that what is coming in the way of that person getting influence right? What do you think? Wo aapki baat manni chahe na? Wo jo bhi hai, manna chahe, manni chahe, jo bhi hai, right? My position in their life and their perception of me for the image I have built, very good point, Angit. What else? Come on, this is a deep question. I want each of you to think and answer. Where is the gap? Because you are all helpful, noble human beings. You want the best intent of the other person. Den influence kyuni ho rahe? Rapo is missing. Yes, good point. Different language, the language of influence that is what we are gonna talk about, right? Expression, yeah. Think about it before I ask you the next question. They need to believe it is in my best intent. Yeah, but then why are they not believing that right now? External influences there, agreed. Different models to see, yeah, they have a different model of the world, right? I'm glad to see that some people here are already NLP practitioners and they are talking the language of NLP, right? Fine, good. And the rest also are on the same lines but not using the NLP jargons. Parak nahi pad raha aap sab ek hi baat kar rahe. The crux is the same. By the way, those who are wondering, NLP kya, NLP is neuro-linguistic programming. It is the understanding the language of your mind. We'll talk more about that later. I'll give you some insights about that. But what you are answering right now is what is coming in the way of them to see this positive intent that you are having for them. Lok kya kahenge, belief system, their belief, different beliefs. Okay, now my next question. I want you to all drop whatever you are doing unless you're driving, raha kar rahe, some videos, koi baat nahi. But if you are attending over here, listening to me, just pay attention, sit up straight for a while. Now, think about that other person that you have in mind. Think about the other person, okay? Now, let us say if you had the power or ability to step into that other person's body, okay? Don't worry, I'm not teaching you some hypnotic controls or anything. I'm just doing a process to ask you the next question, okay? Aap unke bitar goos jaao if you enter their body, for example, just imagine, just imagine, okay? It's like getting into their shoes. Notice from their point of view, be there as if you are them now. And from being them, being that person, now look at you, okay? For example, if I'm thinking of influencing my daughter, I'm going to step into my daughter's mind and look at me from that perspective. Sabhi mai daughter ke rol mein, okay? Aur mai dekh rahi ho, ke mere sambni mere papa hai jum itna bahes kar rahe mucse, itna sumjaya rahe mucse, okay? To waise tarah se aap dekhye ke sambni aap ho, okay? I want you to look at you from this person's point of view. Aur abhi aap sochi hai, being into this person's mind, what is your perception of this particular person who is trying so much to influence you? Take a moment, think about it. Ye banda itna kyun bol raha hai mujhe? Mujhe pata hai mujhe kya karna hai? Why is this person telling me what to do, what not to do? Does this person think that I don't know anything? Think about it. Stay there, stay there for a while and see yourself from that person's point of view, okay? And now you can come back, come back to your own self. And now think about what different perception you got. So somebody had typed in a chat box, right? What's coming in the way of perception? The way they perceive me. My position in their life. That's exactly what we are talking about. Aap apne bachhe ko inspire karna chaathe ho, influence karna chaathe ho, lakin wo aapko kishtara dekh raha hai? And notice what came to your mind as a result of this short mental experiment. What do you think, now my next question to you is, what do you think you need to do differently to bridge that gap of perception? What do you need to do to bridge that gap of perception? So here, in case of kids, we have to lead by example, yeah? Yes. And one more thing, often we come from a position of authority from our own experience because no doubt we are experienced, we are knowledgeable, we are much more than them in terms of our own ability, knowledge, experience, wisdom, education, blah, blah, blah. But as a result of that, what is happening? Whether you want it or not, whether consciously or subconsciously, aapka jo communication ho raha hai, that automatically tends to happen from a space of authority. Bacha, I know better, that is why I am telling you because I don't want you to repeat the same mistakes that I told you, no, I will tell you. No bacha bol raha hai, mujhe apni life jeena do, apne apni mistakes ki, na mujhe bhi karna do. Aapko itna freedom mila mistakes karna ko, meri freedom ko le raha hai, mujhe bhi mistake karne hai. You may think what weird answer is that. But think about it from that person's point of view. And that is understanding that everyone has a unique mental model. May aapko ek alag example batata baad. Let us say that you are in a foreign country. And you are traveling, you are alone. You are alone in a foreign country. And you have found out on the map that there is a very interesting dining place. You want to explore that. To aap wo map dek ke aap jaare hoa pe. And you reach that destination. But aap poshto ke google map ke sahare. Bakin waha pe kahin door door se wo jaga hi nahi dikh rahi. Is the map wrong or are you missing something? Now you want to ask somebody, right? Kaya achha, yeh kaha pe hai yeh jaga, yeh restaurant mein doon rahon kaha pe batata. To you find that there is only one person walking over there. Aap usko pakharte ho. Aap usko poshte ho. Then I am looking for this restaurant name. And that person says, I know English. English ne so much time. Aap English mein communicate kar rahe ho. What would you do? Aap sanjo aagye peech hai maa pe aur koi nahi. What would you do? You will use sign language? Or you will show the name in your phone and say this is what it is. Or you will type in Google translate and ask for the translator and do that. Simple baate nahi? Basically what are we doing? We are using the language that the other person understands. This is called meeting the person where they are. And then taking them to where you want them to be. Meeting the person where they are is about matching the language which they understand. And that does not mean you drop your intention of finding out the place. So you are doing that and then you are asking tell me where to go and how to do this. Which means you are first meeting them where they are. And then fulfilling your intent of telling them what you want to convey. To ye to hum very simply kar dehte hai. Baato baato mein. In a foreign country. An example of this like this. What I want you to understand over here is the same language. While we are talking about language in terms of language of English or French or Spanish or Tamil or Hindi or whatever. Even if you are using the same language to communicate. Please realise that the language of the mind is different for different people. Aap jisko influence karne ki koshish kar rahe ho. Unki language shayat kuch aur hai. Aur mai Hindi English ke baat nahi kar rahe ho. What are they able to understand? A language has a deep impact on the psychology on the subconscious. And that is why the language of influence is very very important to understand. There are a lot of language patterns. So I am by the way I am a master trainer of neuro linguistic programming. And in neuro linguistic programming in LP. We understand a lot of language patterns that talk about how to communicate to the other person in a manner that they get it. And there are a lot of subtle language patterns in that. Which also ensure that how do you meet them where they are. And communicate directly to their subconscious mind by bypassing their conscious filters. So there is a theory of the mind where there is a conscious subconscious. Mai abhi usme nahi jaana uske liye you can. I will give you some information where you can get that details from the NLP perspective. But the key thing is communicating in a manner that they understand. And when you are talking of influence, when you are talking of communication. Very often we tend to communicate from our point of view. And that includes the words that we like to use. And specially abhi jisei communicate kar rahe ho agar that person is from a different generation. And there is this so called generation gap in between. You may realize they are formed of a different language altogether, a different lingo. Right, a different set of terminologies. Hum kabhi kabhi ho jaane ki, sikhne ki, samajne ki koshish bhi nahi karte. But that is not all. When you understand the language of the mind, you understand how to mind your own language. You understand how to talk in a manner that they understand. So let me share some examples with you. Abto agar kifite kaam karwana hai aur samjo usne nahi kiya hai. Abke 2-3 bar bolne pe bhi the person has not acted upon it. Generally what do we ask? Generally how do we, you know, confront them? What question do we put to them? We ask them like, you know, why it has not happened so far? Right? Now tell me, what answers are you expecting when you ask why? See you want the work to be done. Right? But when the person is communicating, why that it is not done and you are asking, why, abhi ta kyu nahi kiya? Why it is not done? What kind of answers would you get? Tell me that. Reasons, yeah. What else? And what are the, where are those reasons coming from? The work is difficult or I can't do it or blah blah blah. Excuses, right? Defensive mode. You think about it this way. So far in your life, right since childhood till today, when have you been asked this question? Why? Logo nahi why ka puch hai aapko? Jab apne kuch achha kiya hai yaa puch achha nahi kiya hai? When you have done something excellently well or when you have not done something well or you have fallen short of expectations, when you do mistakes you are asked, right? Why did you not get full marks in your exam? Why did you not win this? Why did you not complete this on time? Right? Why did you not do this for me? Now understand the subconscious impact of this question why? Since we have been somewhere conditioned to answer this question when it comes to behavior, okay? When behaviorist question with the question why, we tend to come up with reasons that why we were not able to do it. And those reasons start justifying that e aisa hai. Think about it. You want to influence someone to do something. Forget other people. Let me give you another example. You want to influence yourself. I think the most important person to influence is your own self, right? You are wanting to join the gym. Aap gym ki membership bhi lehte aap jate nahi hai. For example. And you wonder, aare mai gym kyu nahi jaaraan? Why am I not going to the gym? What answer will you get? Oh, I'm so busy. I have worked till late night. I have my family to handle. I have to do this. I have to do that. That is why gym is not happening. Now think about this. All the answers that you get or I'm tired, right? All the answers that you get are going to be justifying why you were not going to the gym, why you are not going to the gym, and why you will not go to the gym. Woh kyu nahi ho raha tha hi nahi? But abhi bhi kyu nahi ho sakta hai? Or kyu aage chilke bhi kyu nahi ho raha? Right? So not taking seriously or whatever reason. Now you are giving the answers and those answers end up justifying. Although when you ask why you are asking about a past event, the answers that come make it permanently true. Because your mind says, abhi to mujhe patta chal gaya ki yeh kyu nahi ho raha hai. Now that I know why it is not happening. Now I know why it is not happening. And now I know why it will not happen anymore. And then that internal struggle comes. But I want it to happen. But hello, you have only convinced yourself why it will not happen. So mind will say bhi patta hai nahi kyu nahi ho raha hai. Abhi kyu mujhe raha hai? Same thing where other people are... When you ask them why, they will come up with reasons which are often excuses, which often not only justify, defend, but communicate that this is going to be there all the time. Permanent. To why nahi puchne kaha? To kya puchne kaha? Why did this not get done? Instead of that, what can you ask? The magic question is how? Yes. Even what is the issue will take you to the issue confirmation only. How? How can we do this? Instead of asking why is this not completed on time? Okay, now how can it be done within the next two hours? Or whatever new deadline you want to get. Kya kya bhi nahi hoa to nahi hoa? Abhi kapta chahiye? Now when do you want it? And the question is focused on how? Taking our favourite gym wall example. Instead of asking why are you not going to the gym? Ask yourself how can I start going to the gym regularly? It's a simple shift. The mind will come up with the answers to overcome the results. Okay, where do you tell us about why versus how? People say that so do you mean you have to ignore the root causes and ignore all of the reasons? No, no, no. We are not ignoring any of the reasons. Our mind is intelligent to understand kya haau ko answer karne ke liye you have to still touch upon the reasons. See if I say how can I start going to the gym regularly? Your mind will address, will also think but I'm not going because of this business, right? But now the question is not why, the question is how can I start going? So the mind will start thinking about those reasons with the objective of overcoming them rather than justifying them. It's a very powerful subtle difference between the questions that you ask. How versus why? Very, very important question. So think about it in which situations in your life with yourself or with other people. I'm sure most of us when we are trying to influence people to do something and they're not doing it and we want to understand why they are not doing it. We are genuinely with our intent to understand that why are they not doing it? What is coming in the way we are asking this question? Why are you not doing it? I'm telling you, instead of asking the why, can you ask them how can we do this together? How can I make sure that what you want also gets achieved while we address your larger well-being or whatever is your good intent, whatever good intent I have for you? Let's say you do this and that. How can you do both? Sometimes we ourselves apply a filter. How can we do both? Polarity apart, not necessary. In fact, I would like to invite you to think of something and maybe in a later session we can talk about that. How can you start replacing your English or with the Hindi or? We often say, you know, it is only this or that. It is X or Y. But can it be A or O? Can it be X or Y? Hindi walao. Open your mind to think of more possibilities and in fact, NLP teaches a lot about that. I will talk more about that later on. Okay. But that is about shifting from how to why. Another thing, our mind always comes up with reasons to justify that why we can't do a certain thing by saying, you know, ye nahi hua because this blah blah blah. Or I have a certain deadline to achieve, but I'm not doing this because of this problem. So I have an outcome, but because of the problem, I'm not achieving that. What I would invite you to do is how can we shift that because to in spite of instead of saying, I'm not able to achieve my outcome because of the problem. Can we look at I am going to achieve my problem, my outcome. I'm going to achieve my outcome in spite of the problem and just notice the impact of this simple self-stop change. It can be superbly motivating and empowering to get you going ahead to whatever you want and also inspire the other person where they say, I am not doing this because blah blah blah and you say, how can you do it in spite of blah blah whatever that blah blah blah is. There can be. Okay, can you give an example? Let's say you want to give me an example of a person you want to influence and for what reason it is. Let's say you want your a person to eat healthy food. Right? And the person is saying that, no, I want to eat I want to enjoy my junk food or I want to enjoy my taste buds and relish them as well. And because of that, I'm not having healthy food. And you ask them how can you have healthy food in spite of ensuring that you relish your taste buds. You are instantly converting that problem as one of the outcomes that can be achieved while achieving the larger out. Okay. So now understand one thing. There are in life whether it is for influencing yourself or influencing other people. There are two ways or other rather two outcomes that you can get. One is you can either have results or you can have reasons and these reasons are basically called as excuses. There are a lot of other techniques or other specific language patterns that we talk about in NLP about how to meet the person where they are and then take them to where you want them to be. At any given point of time, there can be two modes that you can operate from. One is called as the champion mode and the other is called as a victim mode. Keeping this in mind applies from a two level perspective. One level is where when it comes to whatever you want to influence the other person you may end up saying that I have tried a lot and you may tend to get into a victim mode. This person is not ready to try anything and then that person is a stupid person or unwilling person, a resistant person. Remember one thing that there are no resistant people there are only ineffective communicators and being in the champion mode is about ensuring that how are you communicating effectively in the language that is understood by the other person. Tell me one thing, if I want to tell you if I want to convey to you this and I told you about NLP this weekend that is an NLP program happening and I tell you that I would love to invite you all for this NLP weekend program but I need to check whether there are seats available on it. If I say this right now what comes to your mind about my intention of inviting you I'll repeat, I'm saying that I want to invite you for a free NLP program but I will have to check the availability of seats By my this statement what comes to your mind about my intention? Do I have that intention of inviting you? You may wonder I'm not going to call you I don't intend for you to come or I'm creating some bahanas or excuses that I have to check all that If you tell someone that I want to invite you to my house but there is some repair work going on right now so I would have invited you what do you think since Namkele just for the sake of saying he's saying it but whether he will actually want to invite he's just finding reasons to avoid formality, yeah, not intent but the same thing is said in a different way that I want to invite you to my house and right now there is some repair work going on so let us reschedule it to next week now what is the thing happening let me even drop the other part but if I just say that I want to invite you to my house and there is currently repair work going on at home now would you question the intent by the way I'm saying the same thing I only flipped one word I only flipped one word earlier I used the word but now I'm using the word and and that changes the meaning of what you are wanting to communicate see often when we tell people to understand where you are coming from I'm understanding your point of view but you need to listen to me what are you saying you are effectively telling them I don't even want to understand your point of view the problem is that most of us don't even realize the impact of language over here the word but has the impact of cancelling whatever was said prior to but it is a game of words where it is subconsciously very very impactful yes but is equal to no I understand but this is fantastic I love your idea but what are you conveying I don't love your idea at all this is deeper at the subconscious level even you may say but I want to convey that I love the idea then don't use but you can say that I understand your point of view and I request you to also listen to my point of view change your but into end but ends up breaking the rapport breaking the connection making the bonding that we are trying to connect with the person whom we are trying to influence so keep that in mind it's like this often we say you know I want to work out I want to join the gym but I have a busy schedule I want to achieve my outcome but I have a problem how about replacing that with I want to achieve my outcome and I have a problem this applies powerfully in influencing other people and also your own self I want to join the gym and I have a busy schedule remove negative words use impactful words and conjunction yes now one thing we learn in NLP is that there is no negative and no positive it is only empowering and limiting okay and very importantly and you notice I am using the word and instead of but over here while replying to a comment right because I am not wanting I agree I am taking into account what is being put in the comment and I am building on imagine if I would have spoken that and I said yeah that is right but let me give you this different perspective you say yeah we have not acknowledged the person at all so remember I am just giving a live demo and I didn't even realize I use it because NLP is something that comes naturally to me okay so again coming to the point there is no negative or positive where it is only limiting and in NLP we say that there is nothing as never and always there is no never there is no always which means that I am not telling you that never use but think about it can you use but in an empowering way same situation I want to achieve my outcome but I have a problem can be converted can be converted or flipped to I have a problem but I want to achieve my outcome so I am not saying don't use but in fact very mindfully very thoughtfully with full awareness you can use it because you know that but cancels the implication of what was said prior to but I want to go to the gym but I have a busy schedule how about replacing that too I have a busy schedule but I want to go to the gym right lots more what is there in understanding the language of your mind and how to convey so are you going to nearing the close of time so let me just ask you a few questions to kind of understand how are you going to implement this are you going to do your best to apply what you have learned today are you going to do your best say to yourself right now in your mind I will do my best tell someone come on you have to do your best is it a good empowering statement to say I will do my best now think about it when was the time when you said I did my best when you achieved something great or when you fell short I did my best yeah I did my best but you know I did my best is often followed by but think about it so what I would invite you is you just said I did my I will do my best instead of that can you say I will do whatever it takes I did my best appears to be very empowering but I did my best is limiting your best to what you think is your best because you don't know what can be better than your best so say I will do whatever it takes to apply whatever I am learning okay so lots more is there but there is enough time so I will pause over here right when I made my son to do what he wanted in a rightful way super thank you alright so we will pause over here and as I promised that there is a NLP program coming up I would like to invite all of you so this program is happening on this weekend Saturday and Sunday 7am to 10am both the days that is Saturday 13th of April and Sunday 14th of April you can join the program Vikas ji can I share the link over here yeah of course thanks so I will just do that we can't even say but hahaha first I want to join it Erronol ji better way would be explain what do you take in the NLP so that those who want to connect what type of session you are taking that will I think hammer the point maybe some people miss this week they can be connected for the subsequent session also yeah yeah so this link will work for even subsequent programs right now this program is happening this week so it is called as the art and science of success understanding the impact of language on your mind and lots more the way we think the way our mind processes in NLP we learn that our mind is a meaning making machine we are constantly making meaning of things but the interesting aspect of that is that each person is making meaning differently so the way I make meaning of things is different from the way you are wanting to influence the person you are wanting to influence the way he or she makes meaning of the same situation and based on that there is an interesting principle that says that the map is not the territory so anyway to know more about all of that please join in this weekend and Vikas ji you can even share this link on the in the description of the youtube live video so that people can learn more about this power of the mind and this is a practical power of the mind day to day how do you ensure that you are influencing yourself to achieve whatever you want and also influencing other people to convey whatever you want if we have to summarize totally in Hindi how we did last time in Hindi sure yes so what we did today is first we spoke about influence we discussed about who is the influence the influence is not that you only want to talk to others but the influence is that you want to talk to others that is the key thing that we learnt about influence that you will be convinced by your power authority but the difference is when you want what you want what you want what you want what you want to do or what you are motivated what you bring that is the main thing about influence we also spoke about language we said that language is not what you describe but when you change language we think that language is an example but language the language you create. You can change the language, you can change the language. And when you understand how you can use the language, language, and language I don't mean Hindi language, English language, Tamil language, whatever it is, I'm talking about the crux of the words the word we use, what is the key there? How do you influence people? So for that it is important that you look at people from where they are looking at you with what perspective. After listening, a perception becomes a perception towards you. You must first understand that perception by going to their point of view. So if you look at yourself from their perspective then what do you think about yourself? That is about perception. Then we talked about that. Then we talked about being results or reasons and then we spoke about language. And we have talked in simple English about language. We haven't used any language for a long time. But when you watch this program, maybe watch it again, listen again. You will understand that it is the same applicable. If I say that I want to invite you to my NLP program but I have to check the seats. Now I am here but if we use this right? So you doubt if you really want to invite me or not. But if I say that NLP program is happening then I will check the availability of seats. So that is what I am changing from lekin to or. And what happens in the other person's mind is that how you maintain both your point of view and the other's point of view. We sometimes say that I can understand you but you can't understand how you can use it. I can understand you and I want to say that this is also possible. So you can see it is simplified now and anyway I invite you to come to the NLP program. One thing you will realize in NLP NLP by the way is having a lot of big big terminologies. But the way I teach and my partner, who is on this weekend our objective is to simplify. So we don't even use big big jargons anyway. And while using it, they say you should learn how to use it in life. How to use this topic in life or process or practice. All right, so I think Vikas Ji that was adequate recap. Okay. It was absolutely correct. Okay. Thank you everyone. Stay connected tomorrow at 5 p.m. We will have another session. Stay safe. Stay Blessed. Thank you Thank you for your time. Stay safe. Stay blessed. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.