 So you've been kind of detailing your disability, blindness, and I feel like for me I have experience with disabilities, because my father was on a wheelchair, but not invisible disabilities. And there's a lot, like we really take things for granted, like eyesight is something that a lot of us don't even think about, but this is something that you've had to talk about. So do you want to share your experience? Because I feel like everything that you're talking about is so important because you're really shedding light on an issue that a lot of people don't have experience with. Yeah, thank you so much. I, you know, it's been kind of crazy. Last year I woke up without eyesight, literally overnight, nothing gradual, nothing like that. I just woke up without the majority of my sight. I went to the hospital, they diagnosed me with something called myopic degeneration. It's not macular degeneration, it's quite rare, especially with people under 55. And since then it's been multiple eye surgeries, treatments every month that are over $12,000 a piece in each eye. And even after insurance, thousands of dollars. And you know, just Friday I had to have an emergency appointment to go back in because I lost even more of my sight in the better eye. The left eye has pretty much no sight and the right eye has now been diagnosed as legally blind as well. So I can't drive, I can't, you know, it's gotten to the point where they have a, like a social worker who's going to be spending the day with me to go over how to do things, you know, things that I'm having trouble with every day things. And like I said, all of this happened overnight. So I've been dealing with, you know, the loss of my job because of, you know, losing eyesight and just all of this. And you know, when you have an invisible illness, you really notice the way people behave. I see yesterday I made a post that said, you know, people online use the word blind as a pejorative to, for ignorant, a lot. Like I've been called blind numerous times. What are you blind? Well, yes, I am. You know, so that, you know, that's something I'm more conscious of now. But even, you know, with COVID, you go in a store and you see like the arrows pointing one way and things like that. I mess up sometimes. I can't see the arrows all the time. And people get huffy and I just apologize. I'm sorry. I'm plainly blind. I didn't see that. Or doing simple things like putting a debit card in the card reader. I might have to try several times because I'll miss the slot or I'll put it in backwards or something and you hear this like in line and you know, people are very unaware. And I get the fact that like they don't know that I have this disability, but at the same time I think people should be more aware that there could be something like that. Another invisible disability that millions of people have is mental health. You know, people are very quick to say, you forgot to take your crazy pills, things like that. That's ableist. That's not okay. That's not funny. I mean, so people have gotten to the point that yes, while they don't say like retard as much and things like that. People do definitely still say very ableist things. So it's been, you know, very life changing and very traumatic for me to go through the physicality of losing sight, walking into things falling down, things like that, but then also to see the way people react to that, you know, something like where is the so-and-so? It's right in front of your face. Okay. Can you show me like realize how much you use your eyes? And I know that sounds so stupid, but you really don't like you don't realize if you put on a mask and I mask and try to walk around, you're going to realize, holy shit. Like I didn't realize just how easy it is to take advantage of, you know, having that sight. So yeah, and it's not to freak anyone out. What I have is very rare, but you know, just the fact that it happens overnight is, is, you know, why essentially, you know, my life changed so much when you didn't have time mentally to prepare for it. Like with my dad situation, when I talk about it, like he eventually ended up in a wheelchair, but you know, it was a gradual decline for this. It's like one day, everything changes and to be like hit with that and then to have the response from people, it just kind of compounds all of it. And that's why I think like when you make these posts, like sharing your experience, it's so important because nobody really thinks about these things. Like I myself, I don't think about these things. Like I probably have been in the grocery store sometimes and waiting, you know, in front of some or behind someone and they're taking too long and it's like, oh my God, please hurry up. But I don't think about these sorts of things because as you said, it's an invisible disability. And I think it's a good reminder to everyone to just be more mindful of other individuals because we don't necessarily know what's what's happening. Like for me, I felt like I was always like woke for lack of a better word because I dealt with disabilities and like, you know, I have been in these situations where I'm pushing my dad in a wheelchair on the sidewalk and I'm blocking a bunch of people who want to get by. And you know, you don't you don't hear comments, but you hear the heavy breathing the size and it's like, oh my God, fuck you, fuck you like, you know what I mean? But you know, there's different things like and you write up like mental health. These invisible disabilities that we kind of like, we know exist, but don't grapple within a real concrete way. I think it's important that people show their stars, especially someone like you who has a lot of like recognition and you have a platform, because I don't know anyone who's blind, legally blind. So you're like basically my one person who's opened my eyes to all of this. And it really it does make you think like we take so much for granted. You know, just something as simple as our senses, you know, hearing, seeing, like to know what that would mean for us to lose one is it would be completely life changing. So I think that like, in a way, having people share these stories is it's life changing for other people in a way, not in as like significant as a way, but just to like shed light on it, like the things that you notice, the way that you see more ableism now, whereas before maybe you hadn't, you know, thought about these things, it's really interesting. And for me, like, go ahead. I think, you know, something I've had, you know, other visually impaired people reach out to me about it is that I just co-wrote a book and people don't realize like the process of that. Like, I dictated everything. I didn't type anything. I just verbally said it. And my co-author Pat had to read everything back to me. It probably took us twice the time to write the book because of, you know, because of that disability, but we did it. And I'm so freaking proud. I never thought, you know, that I could do something like that after losing, you know, so much of my sight. So I've had people who are blind and legally blind, visually impaired, reach out to me and, you know, share their stories. And it's really incredible, like hearing them say, well, I went to college after I became blind and things like that. It's so inspiring. Yeah, it's incredible. And I think that it's important that you don't let it defeat you. But I wanted to ask you, like, is there is that like a double-edged sword in a way because you've managed to accomplish so much? Like you wrote a book as someone who's legally blind. Like, does that give people a little bit of a sense of, oh, well, you know, you're fine then, you know, I, you know, it's it doesn't affect you. Like, how do people respond to that? Because I feel like the fact that you wrote a book legally blind to me is like astonishing, like it's crazy. And like doing these little things, like just like browsing the internet, like it's different if you are legally blind. So like because you're able to do so much still, how do people respond to that in a way? Like, does that question make sense? Because it's it's always like, you know, there's this expectation if you're ignorant, like you don't know. Like when I when I thought of people who were legally blind, I envisioned people with like a cane and sunglasses and not really and having someone guide them around because that's all I've seen in public to know that they were blind. But I never thought of people who were legally blind who still have a little bit of eyesight, you know, who still can, you know, walk themselves and they can guide themselves, although there's there's some difficulties. Like, is there a difference? Do you think between like those sorts of folks who are like completely blind and more? I don't know if the question makes sense, sort of. But like just I guess I'm kind of touching on expectations of like what people expect. I did have someone who I considered an acquaintance say something to me a week ago about he he doesn't think it's as bad as I imply it is. And I cried for like three days because I'm like, how dare you? Like, how dare you? You you have no idea what I go through. So I think most people like understand the fact that there's knowledge and like when I'm, you know, posting on Twitter, it's, you know, I'm speaking into something. It's typing for me. It's like not that uncommon. So I think most people probably assume that's the kind of stuff I do. But yeah, the one person who said that to me, it really got this it got to me. And I thought, are my do my viewers think this of me? Do they think I'm like exaggerating or something? And, you know, it's one person, but it just, you know, you know what it's like being on the air and having so many viewers and stuff. And it's like someone will say something and you're just kind of like, I do a lot of people feel that way. The negativity stays with you so much more than the positivity, which is it's so weird. I really honestly felt like I was like, I should seriously like copy some of my medical documentation like PMM, because I was so just disgusted. So, yeah, I mean, there's going to be some of that. But in at the same time, like, I know what I'm going through. So and you don't have to prove anything to anyone. Like, I think that the response from people will be like, oh, well, you accomplish this. You wrote a book, so it must not be that bad. And then there's going to be people who are like, that's incredible. Like you wrote a book and you're legally blind. Like, wow, like it's just because like for me, my situation is a little bit different. But I have panic disorder, which is where you have panic attacks. So I'll do something which is really bold that someone with panic attacks wouldn't do. Like, you know, speak at an event or something or give a toast at a wedding or something. And then a month later, I'll like inexplicably seem like I'm really flaky as a friend that I'd make up excuses why I can't visit you and and see you. And it's like, well, you did that, you did all of that. And you're you're meaning to tell me that you don't want to drive an hour when it's like, you know, it's not like it's always static, like situations change for people with these invisible disabilities. You know, where it's like sometimes you feel like you're you're doing a little bit better than usual and you could push yourself to do more. Other times you can't, you know, the situation changes. And that's one thing that I think is important, is that like none of this is ever static, you know, like for my dad, for example, he wasn't just like one day in a wheelchair. Unlike your situation, like he sometimes needed a wheelchair because he was too weak to stand up. And then other times he he he, you know, he would be fine. He could actually walk to the kitchen, go to the bathroom. So it changes. And so, you know, it's interesting watching people who don't deal with it, respond to that because it's like, well, you did this, so why can't you just do this? You know, and that's always something that you don't think about unless you're in that in that situation. So it's just it's interesting. And I think it's so important, like, thank you for sharing your experience because people don't know about these things, you know. Yeah, and I could have been one of them. I try to think back and, hell, I've probably been the same way. I feel like we all like we've all done something that, you know, that we're not proud of because we're ignorant and ignorant isn't necessarily like meant to be a pejorative. It's just that if we don't know about somebody else's struggle and we're not privy to what they're going through, of course, you know, we might just be in the moment mad that they're taking too long or whatever, you know. And it's important because like this really does remind people that we're all human beings and it's not as as simple as like, OK, well, this lady who's swiping our credit card a hundred times, she's not just like moving in slow motion because she's drunk or something stupid. Like she she's she has a disability, you know. I could be both, I don't know.