 Hey man, are you trying to steal my dog? Never heard of paying for something being called stealing before. This isn't an auction, you can't just bid on my lost dog. It's called the free market bro, do try and keep up. This is a different number. Who are you and why do you want my dog? Look kid, this dog is a hot commodity, it'd be a fool to not get on the ground floor of this. It's just business. It's not business. This is my dog that I love, if you loved it so much you wouldn't have lost it. There's a hot new investment in town, and it's this dog. Prices are skyrocketing for the pooch, and major hedge funds are taking interest. This dog is hot. To take advantage of this unique opportunity, we've been rearranging assets for millions of our clients, and basing their portfolios primarily on this dog. You know, college funds, retirement funds. My fund is providing investors who can't afford to purchase the whole dog the opportunity to invest in individual parts of the dog. Right now, Wall Street is shorting little puppy paws, but waggy doggie tails are way up. I can't let them do this to you. Is this the news? Tell everyone I found my dog. Yes, he's right here with me. No, there's no reward. Bye. Hold on. This just in? This dog has been found. I'm getting reports that stocks are tumbling across the board. Investors are panicking as international markets crumble due to the missing dog being found. This might usher in the worst depression the world has ever seen. Look, we knew this dog was clearly overvalued. I go as far as to say as this was a bad boy, a bad dog, certainly not a good dog. A bad dog. To our customers who have had their college or retirement funds empty due to this, I hope that you can take solace in that I personally made a lot of money out of it. I'm sorry your retirement is gone, but you should have made smarter moves. I shorted the dog. Hello? Yeah, you're under arrest for destroying the academy. Come with us. Okay. You're under arrest.