 When you close your eyes and let the past flash by, what are some moments that you're proud of? What do you wish you had done differently? Regret is never a light topic. It's often tied to loss or missed opportunities. You could have done it differently. Should have said something else. When looking across life as a whole, what do people regret most and why? In her book, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, Palliative Care Nurse, Ronnie Ware, revealed the most common regrets people have at the end of life and captured her experiences with her patients. When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, she says common themes surfaced again and again. Ware writes of the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at the end of their lives and how we might learn from their wisdom. Here are five regrets as witnessed by Ware. Live true. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. This was the most common regret of all, says Ware. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it's easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. In their paper titled, The Ideal Road Not Taken, researchers from Cornell University write that perhaps it makes sense that our biggest regrets stem from our ideal selves and failing to live up to the person we wished we could have become. The research showed participants reported more intense regret for not taking the initiative for things they wanted. As the temporal theory of regret suggests, actions produce greater regret in the short term, whereas inactions generate more regret in the long run. So if we feel we should have taken that trip, should have asked this person out, or should have gone to college, these larger regrets last longer than more minor ones like saying something embarrassing or agreeing to do an annoying task for someone. Work. I wish I didn't work so hard, and so much. This regret came from mostly every male patient that Ware nursed. They regretted missing their children's youth and their partner's companionship. One of the things to be better at is switching off from work when at home. This means not checking emails and being more present with your family. With so many demands on the parent's time, there never seems to be enough time. It is, of course, also important to spend time together, says licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Inna Kazan, PhD. Being socially driven or wanting to secure your future is a good thing, but don't let that evolve into a thirst for external validation. According to financial psychologist Brad Klontz, Workaholism runs in the family, from parent to child. Workaholics are so immersed in work, they have little time to invest in family life and child rearing. There's nothing wrong with hard work and wanting to accomplish great things. Even if you're doing what you love, don't work so much that you lose opportunities with your loved ones. Feelings. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings more. We hide our feelings for fear of how others will react, Ware says. Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. This makes them settle for mediocre existence or develop illnesses related to bitterness and resentment they carried as a result. We cannot control the reactions of others, however, although people may initially react when you speak honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Author and researcher Brunei Brown on helping people develop the courage to express their true feelings says people tell her they're uncomfortable having these conversations because they don't know how to have them. They're worried about saying the wrong thing or being taken the wrong way. Dr. Brown says we have to be able to choose courage over comfort. In life there can be situations where it's difficult to say what we really feel, but sometimes silence comes at a high price. Friends I wish I'd been better at staying in touch with my friends. Author Brunei Ware found many regretted becoming so caught up in their own lives that they had to let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deeper regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Even in the age of social media it's easy for someone to fall out of the loop and not text you in over a year. A 2016 study published in Royal Society, Open Science, found that people start losing touch with friends after age 25 and women lose touch faster than men. If you find yourself thinking about an old friend and wanting to reconnect then that's a sign to do it, says therapist Nicole Sporton. Working out how to reconnect with someone? Depending on how much time has passed you both may have changed, says licensed marriage and family therapist Hailey McBain. She recommends showing a healthy curiosity about the person your old friend may have become to renew the relationship. Happiness I wish that I had let myself be happier. Brunei Ware wrote in her book that this is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They'd stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called comfort of familiarity and fear of change had them pretending to others and to themselves that they were content when deep within they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again. Sean Acker, author of The Happiness Advantage, says that happiness can be a choice and it's something you can practice. Sometimes it just takes reminding them the changes possible. Author of Broadcasting Happiness, Michelle Gillan writes in her book, it's important to acknowledge that life is a journey, a journey that can provide us with joy and realize that the journey doesn't include just high moments, there are also challenges along the way. It's about finding opportunities to grow and the joy of being in the midst of that journey. The key is to use the joy to move towards your goals, but you don't need to necessarily get there in order to feel happy. Feel happiness today and along the way. Swimming in the sea of regrets is not a healthy way to go about life, but it is helpful to extract lessons where we can, tap into what's truly important to you and what's not. Think about the things you don't want to regret. Take those learnings to help you imagine how your dream life looks. A full and happy life, one without regrets. If you found this video helpful, please like and share it with your friends as well. 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