 Section 98 of the Inheritance by Susan Edmundstone-Farrier. Volume 3, Chapter 27. Non je ne serai point complice de ses crimes. Racine. Gertrude's restored confidence in her lover, had given an impulse to her mind, and she was beginning to recover. In some degree from the dreadful shock she had sustained, when Lewiston's message, desiring to see her again, deprived her of the little composure she had regained. Her agitation was so excessive, that mashed him in alarm. Summoned Mrs. Roberts and both agreed that it would be as much as their lady's life was worth. Do you see anybody that was not particularly agreeable to her at present? And this opinion Mrs. Roberts delivered in person to Lewiston, who from some hints he had thrown out that morning to the servants, was generally considered as the husband of Mrs. St. Clair, and consequently the stepfather of their lady. This idea was further confirmed by Colonel Del Moore's sudden departure, and in that capacity he found himself feared and obeyed, where he would otherwise have been ridiculed and despised. After swearing a little at Mrs. Roberts' communication, he said, Well, goodie, take you care of your lady, feed her well, give her plenty of good, stout meat and drink. None of your slip-slops, none of your meal and water, and poultices, your groules and penatas, as you call them, by Joe. I'd have a fit of hysterics myself if I was to be fed upon such gear. Hark ye, goodie, if there's such a thing as a nice, plump little sucking pig to be had, now's the time, have it killed directly, and it will be primed for my lady's dinner. And do you hear it tell that French fellow of a cook to take care to have the ears crisp, or by jingle, ousted his own for him? Stop, goodie, as Mrs. Roberts was retiring in silent horror, and he pulled out his watch. Now, go you to my lady countess and say that, as I'm a reasonable good-natured man, and always behave handsomely when I'm treated handsomely. I shall allow her twenty-four hours to settle her brains, or her spirits, or whatever is wrong, and then remember she must be to a minute. I shall expect her to do her duty and wait upon me here in this very room, and at this very hour with a merry face, as much sooner as she likes. Today she'll be welcome, but not a minute after the twenty-four hours. Not a second. Now, trot, goodie, don't forget the pig. A three-week-old will serve my lady countess. Mrs. Roberts here suggested the propriety of medical advice being called, but she was cut short with. By Jupiter, if any of your doctors come here, I'll show them the way out at the window. There's no doctor like Mead and Drink, and he went off singing a vulgar sea song. He then went to order out all the horses, which he made the servants parade before the house, while he tried some of them himself, then ordered out jays and four, and two outriders, as if he had been going a journey. But he merely drove up and down the avenue, till, tired of that, he fell two quites with the servants, and in short, completely illustrated the homely adage of, set a beggar on horseback, etc. The trude felt grateful for the respite allowed her, and she resolved, if possible, to prove her obedience by meeting her father, and at the same time declaring to him what she had done, even although she trembled to think of all she would have to encounter. Should he persist in his threat of carrying her off to America, what would become of her, who could interpose between a father and his child, who could, alas, who would, save her? There was no one to whom she could appeal, for there was no one being with whom she could claim any kindred, save him to whom she owed her being. Where was Delmore at this trying moment? Why had he deserted her? His was the voice to have whispered peace to her soul, his the arm to have supported and protected her, but he, her only earthly prop, had left her. She was roused from the overwhelming conviction of her own utter helplessness and the frightful destiny that perhaps awaited her by the indefatigable mashem who, in her softest accents, besought her ladyship's pardon. But there was a box of new dresses just arrived for her ladyship from Madame de la Cour, such beauties they were fit for a princess. Would her ladyship be pleased only just to take a look of them? See what a desable, my lady, when you pleased arise, how charming it will be. Time was when Gertrude's eyes would have sparkled with pleasure at sight of the beautiful dresses now displayed, but she turned from them with a shudder and desired they might be taken away. These were for the Countess of Rossville, thought she, without bitter pang, and I, impostor, beggar that I am, shall I ever again dare to appear as such? She covered her face with her hands and groaned in spirit. Then, as if struck with some sudden thought, she called her mate, Mashem, I would have addressed very different from any of these. I would have one made of the courses of stuff such as as poor people or charity children wear. She stopped to wipe away the tears which covered her face while Mashem stood in speechless amazement. It must be very coarse and quite plain, Mashem, and you must set about getting such in one for me directly. Sure, my lady, you don't mean it for yourself, cried the amazed Mashem, doubting either her own or her lady's senses had gone astray, but her lady repeated her commands in so peremptory a manner that Mashem dared not expostulate on those subjects but set about obeying the order, strange and unseemly as it appeared. Gerd trued and inquired for Mrs. Sinclair, and she was told she was keeping her room, and she asked no farther for the mention of her name was an effort almost too much for her, associated as it was in her mind with all the degradation and ruin she had brought upon her. Heavily as the time wore away in tears and solitude, the hour appointed by Lewiston drew near too soon. In the interval he had sent many messages which rough and wayward as they were, yet showed a species of kindness in their way, but his ideas of affection seemed to be of the lowest description, and the only way in which he testified his was through the medium of meat and drink, and many was the savoury mess he dispatched to Gerd trued. Gerd trued who turned with loathing from such coarse demonstrations of paternal regard. Gerd trued clothed herself in the assorted garb which had been prepared for her, but her beauty was of too noble and decided a character to be dependent upon adventitious aid, the regularity of her features, their touching expression, the sadness of her dove-like eyes, the paleness of her complexion, contrasted with the dark ringlets which fell negligently around her. The exquisite form of her head and throat, her distinguished air even in humility, all these only appeared the more preeminent in the absence of ought to distract the attention. Averse to having the appearance of being compelled to meet her father, she appeared to the saloon, rather before the appointed time, she entered with downcast eyes and a throbbing heart unconscious of everything but that she was to meet for the first time as her father. He who had so long been the object of her fear and her abhorrence. But what was her surprise when upon entering the person who sprung forward to meet and to welcome her and to press her hands in his was Lindsay. Gertrude, dear Gertrude, exclaimed he as he gazed upon her sad and colorless countenance. How ill you look! Something is wrong! But as the recollection of their last meeting rushed upon Gertrude's mind her heart swelled at the thoughts of her abasement and the blush of shame rose almost to her brow. I have heard, and it is that report has brought me here now, that the man whom you have such cause to dread is an inmate of your house. At least I guess it is the same. Tell me, Gertrude, is it so? You will hear all soon enough, said Gertrude, in a low, suffocating voice. Leave me, oh, leave me now. Now, nor never, Gertrude, till I see you safe and happy cried Lindsay with emotion. Gertrude, I am your cousin, your friend, your brother, if you will. Oh, speak to me then as such. Say, what can I do to serve you? But Gertrude only answered with her tears, then repeated, leave me, oh, leave me. I will, if there is any one here to protect, to save you. At that instant, Lewiston entered with the swagger of a man who wished to show he was quite at home. At sight of Lindsay, he started and was evidently disconcerted. But quickly recovering, he said with his usual assurance, so, sir, I didn't expect to find you here. I've just been seeing some young puppies have their ears cropped. Sit down, sir, then approaching Gertrude, who rose to meet him and bowed her head towards him. He took her hand and shook it. Well, my Lady Countess, how goes it now? By Gingo, as he surveyed her dress, you women are always in extremes. Why today you're dressed like a charity schoolgirl. Lindsay was too much confounded to speak. He had heard, in a vague way, that a foreigner whom no one knew anything about was living at Rossville with the ladies, and that Colonel Delmore had left it abruptly in consequence of a quarrel with various other particulars, some true, some false, which had been circulated by the servants and soon reached the ears of their masters and mistresses. No sooner had Lindsay heard them than forgetting all Gertrude's unkindness and ingratitude he thought only of how he could serve her and instantly set off with that purpose. He had only arrived the moment before she appeared and at first glance at her had told him a tale of woe and suffering that filled him with grief and amazement. The gay, proud, brilliant Countess of Rossville was gone, and there stood the sad, humble, downcast Gertrude, impassive endurance of, if not actually inviting, familiarity which formerly her high spirit would have spurned. He looked at her for a moment in silence and again the deadly paleness which had overspread her face at Lewiston's entrance was succeeded by a deep flush and she raised her hand as if to hide it from his view. Well, sir, said Lewiston, seating himself on a sofa and placing Gertrude beside him while he still held her hand. This is not our first meeting, but let that pass. You're my Lady Countess's cousin, I understand, eh? That's enough. Sit down. You have the advantage of me, sir, said Lindsay, bridling, his indignation for Gertrude's sake. It seems you know who I am, who are you, I've yet to learn. All in good time, sir, would you choose to take a glass of anything after your ride or a bit of cold meat? There's a nice little fellow of a pig that I ordered for my lady's dinner yesterday and she wouldn't look at him, it seems. So I've ordered him for my lunch today. As fat as an eel and as tender as a chicken, I'll answer for him. I saw him scalded myself. Agony was painted in every feature of Gertrude's face. Lindsay saw it and wishing to end this strange scene. He said calmly to Lewiston, Lady Rosfield seems to unwell to take an interest in such discussions if you will accompany me to another room. With all my heart cried Lewiston, jumping up, you say true, my lady is a little nervous or so, but she will soon get over it without wink to her. Gertrude rose to, her color changed from white to red and from red to white, and she gasped as though she were suffocating at length by a violent effort. She said, go then, but Lindsay, remember he is my father. Lindsay stood speechless and for a moment Lewiston was thrown into consternation, but quickly recovering himself, he said, I come along, it shall all be explained, and he took hold of Lindsay and moved impatiently towards the door. Lindsay saw only Gertrude standing motionless and shame and anguish. Her head bent beneath her humiliation and the cold drops of Agony on her brow. He flew towards her. Gertrude cried he wildly. What do you mean? Your father? Speak, tell me. Well, since the cats out of the bag cried Lewiston, you may as well catch it at once. I'm married to my Lady Countess's mother, so I am. That's all. What is there so wonderful in that? And again he cast a fierce and threatening look at Gertrude. Is it even so, Gertrude? Said Lindsay. Then this can be no home for you at present. The do's cried Lewiston fiercely. What right have you to meddle between a father and his daughter? I am her stepfather and I have the best right to manage her and he would have taken her hand, but Lindsay placed himself between them. Lady Rossville once chose me for her guardian. She will yet acknowledge me as such. Will you not, Gertrude? You will trust yourself with me and I will place you in safety. Oh, he is my father, my own father, cried Gertrude in an accent of despair. Surely, surely exclaimed Lewiston hastily. I am the husband of her mother, her own father. You say true? I am, I am. No, no, no, cried Gertrude wildly. She is not my mother. She told me all. He is my father. And she almost shrieked as she uttered it. She is mad, cried Lewiston. I say she is mad. Did you have made her so then, said Lindsay passionately, then turning to Gertrude. Dearest Gertrude, try to compose yourself. Retire, I will. Oh, he is. He is my father, repeated Gertrude convulsively. Confound you for an idiot as you are, cried Lewiston fiercely, and he seemed ready to strike her, had not Lindsay stood between them. Save me. Oh, save me from him, cried Gertrude as she clung to Lindsay's arm. But he is. I will, dearest Gertrude, do not be afraid. Then turning to Lewiston, he said, in a voice of forced calmness, but with an error of the most resolute determination. You are mistaken if you suppose that as the husband of Mrs. Sinclair you have acquired any lawful authority over this lady. If you claim it by any other tie, you must first bring forward your evidence and have it recognized before it can be acknowledged. In the meantime Lady Rossville is under my protection. I am her guardian, and from her own lips only will I listen to what has passed. You will do well then to leave this room without altercation, otherwise it may be unpleasant for you. Oh, no, no, cried Gertrude, in an agony of terror. He is my father. Do not use him ill. Don't you hear her? Acknowledge my authority, cried Lewiston, and what title have you, then, to interfere? You confounded meddling blockhead. Gertrude, will you go into the next room for a few minutes, said Lindsay, and he would have led her to the door. I do go along, cried Lewiston. Women are always better out of the way when there is business on hand. I will not leave you, said Gertrude, as pale and trembling. She still held by Lindsay. But I order you to speak but another syllable to this lady, interrupted Lindsay, on the point of losing all self-command, and I will instantly call the servants to force you from her presence. Coward, cried Lewiston furiously. The blood rushed to Lindsay's brow. Edward, dear Edward, cried Gertrude. Do not. He is my father. I know you only, as Lady Rossville, and as such I will speak to you alone, said Lindsay. He rang the bell, and when the servant answered it, desired him in a calm but firm manner to show that gentleman to the library, then waving his hand to Lewiston in a way that showed he would be obeyed, he said, I will join you there in half an hour. And Lewiston, casting a threatening look at Gertrude and muttering implications to himself, was thus compelled to withdraw. End of Section 98. Section 99 of the inheritance by Susan Edmund Stoonfarrier. This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Volume 3, Chapter 28. He whose mind is virtuous is alone of noble kind, though poor in fortune of celestial race, and he commits the crime who calls him base. Dryden, but it was with difficulty Gertrude could be brought to repeat to Lindsay all that she had already recapitulated to Delmore. She had been under an excitement of mind to which everything had given way. She had felt as though she were then about to cast the die for life or death. And in the energy of desperation she had told all with the eloquence of feelings which mocked control. But here there was no such stimulus, and she shrank from repeating the hateful and ignominious detail of her disgrace. It was throwing herself too much upon the sympathy and the commissuration of one on whom she had no claim, one whom in the heyday of her prosperity she had treated with coldness and ingratitude. And she leaned her burning brow on her head and strove to steal herself against the kind and affectionate entreaties Lindsay used to gain her confidence. At length he gathered from her such particulars as enabled him to trace out the whole of the dark transaction which had involved her in ruin. For a time his emotion kept him silent while Gertrude sat with her elbows resting on a table and her face buried in her hands. But Lindsay was ever more intent on allaying the afflictions of others than in indulging his own feelings. And he soon mastered his own agitation that he might be the better able to calm Gertrude's, but his voice faltered as he spoke. Dearest Gertrude said he, I know it will be in vain to talk of comfort to you in the first anguish of your mind, but ah Gertrude could you discern the hand that has thus smitten you could you look up to heaven and say it is my father's will. I do, cried Gertrude in a low, suffocating voice, but alas the feeling burnt feebly in her breast. And anything but this I could have borne but disgrace, infamy, her emotion choked her utterance. No Gertrude, you are unjust to yourself, unmindful of God, if you attach such ideas of personal degradation to what has befallen you. To his true you have no longer a title, a vain empty title, or wealth to spend perhaps to satiety, but how much nobler a being are you now thus dignified by voluntary self abasement and rich in all the native gifts of your creator than ever you were or would have been as the mere favored child of this world. Ah Gertrude, dear Gertrude, could you but view yourself with my eyes. To have been an imposter and you, Serper, exclaimed she, how perverse sorrow has made you, Gertrude, you are neither, you have been the victim of imposter, but your own name is pure and spotless. It is more to those who can appreciate virtue it will carry a nobler sound along with it than any that heraldry could have bestowed. How poor is the boast of ancestry compared with that lofty sense of honor which has made you trample underfoot all those allurements to which your soul still cleaves even in renouncing. This is greatness. Who but you will judge me thus? All who love virtue, all who love you, Gertrude, love me, repeated she, relapsing into an agony of grief. Oh, who could love me, base, vile, abject as I am. Gertrude cried Lindsay in emotion almost equal to her own. Do you indeed ask who could love you? But Gertrude was silent for her thoughts were all of Delmore. Lindsay's agitation increased. You ask me who could love you, Gertrude, he who has once loved you truly will love you still, will love you more than ever. I, he stopped, then took two or three turns about the room in great disorder while Gertrude absorbed in grief and thinking only of his words as applied to her lover was little aware of what was passing in Lindsay's generous heart. In a few minutes he regained his usual calmness and approaching her took her hand and said, Gertrude, you are unable to stand this storm which has come upon you. You must retire to your own apartment and allow me to act for you. I promise you that nothing shall provoke me to violence. I promise you that I will bear everything. Oh, you have borne too much already for me, cried Gertrude with a burst of weeping. My best, my only friend, added she in a voice choked with emotion. You will then look upon me as your friend, as your guardian, as your brother. Will you not, Gertrude, such and all will I be to you, so help me God. Gertrude could not speak but she pressed the hand which still held hers in grateful acknowledgement and relying on Lindsay's promise as she knew she well might. She at last consented that he should see her father alone and that she should await the result of the conference. After seeing her mind somewhat strengthened and her spirits more composed, Lindsay then repaired to the library where he found Lewiston vainly attempting to hide his rage by affecting too busy himself and Cooley turning over the books while it was evident he was only exercising his fury upon them. He took no notice of Lindsay's entrance but went on tossing over the leaves of a splendid folio in a manner enough to have made a bibliopolis faint, then began to whistle with an air of unconcern which, however, did not sit very easily upon him. Lindsay waited a few minutes in silence, then said, I have been hearing a strange tale, sir, from one have you so, sir, rudely interrupted Lewiston looking at an engraving in the book as if deeply interested in it, have you so and what then? Then I would have your account, sir, of the same story. You would, then I must trouble you, sir, to let me know what your story is in the first place that we may understand each other, sir. Lindsay repeated what Gertrude had communicated to him and added, it is therefore in vain to attempt to carry on any farther concealment. The truth must be proclaimed but for the sake of one whom hitherto I have only known as a dearly loved relative I would feign have it softened as confound her for an idiot exclaimed Lewiston furiously as he hurled the book from him with violence and pushed over an ink stand, then kicked back his chair and drove everything aside while he took two or three strides across the room biting his thumb in the manner of one who must have something no matter what on which to wreck his passion. Lindsay was too judicious to interrupt him, disgusting as the spectacle of uncontrolled passion was for Gertrude's sake he submitted to it in silence. At length Lewiston stopped and said abruptly, has the fool blabbed to anybody else or are you her only father confessor? I cannot tell whether the disclosure has been made known to anyone else, said Lindsay, Del Moore's name had not been mentioned between them, but it can signify little since it must soon be made public. Well, she deserves to suffer for her confounded folly, but you seem to have a liking for the girl, fool as she is, then as if communing with himself she is handsome, very handsome. I've seen nothing like her, she'll make her figure in New Jersey, she'll go well off there. Lindsay tried to be calm even at the idea of the beautiful, high soul Gertrude taken to America to be bartered, sold by such a savage and said, even if you are the person you give out it does not necessarily follow that this unfortunate lady must be compelled to reside with you. Why, what's to become of her? It is unnecessary to discuss that question at present, but be assured she possesses friends whose influence and fortune, neither of them inconsiderable, will be devoted to her service. That is to say you would marry her such as she is, well as you seem to have a liking for her. I'll tell you what, if the thing has gone no farther and I don't think it has, or Tether Spark wouldn't have set off as he did, why, since you're fond of her, I'll give my consent that you should have her. Upon condition that all is to be kept snug, she'll come to her senses by and by and be sorry that she's played the fool this way. And more than that, if you'll agree to settle handsomely upon me, I'll engage to go back to my own country, which is the best after all. And since we don't put up together, let us keep on different sides of the Atlantic. What do you say to that, sir? I say you are a villain, burst them Lindsay's lips and I must have the most clear undeniable evidence that you are the person you profess to be before I will give credit to it. I do not believe you are the father of Gertrude and he fixed his eyes upon him, as though he would have searched his very soul. The blood rushed to Lewiston's face and for some minutes he was silent, then recovering himself, he said, in his usual manner, I'm all you'll have for him though, sir, whether you believe it or not. I'm Jacob Ruxton Lewiston of Perth-Hamboy, New Jersey, and that you'll find if you'll be so good as to step over the way and inquire. That may be, but there may have been more Jacob Ruxton Lewiston's than one. Why haven't I got my wife's letter here, taking out a pocketbook and holding it up with triumph? Haven't I, the testimony of the priest, who witnessed it, and he is still alive too, and forthcoming if wanted, and who swore to her never to give it into any hand but her husband's? And isn't there, Mrs. St. Clair, ready to swear to me when she comes to herself? What the plague would you have, sir? All that is insufficient. Perhaps you judged by my looks. I've wore well, I grant you, but I'm eight and thirty for all that, married at nineteen, the more fool. Nothing you can now say will have the slightest effect in removing my doubt, said Lindsay. Faith I care very little about it, said Lewiston, with affected coolness, you may keep your doubts and welcome for me. That I shall certainly do till I have obtained better evidence than your own. I will send a person on whose fidelity and prudence I can perfectly rely to the place from whence you say you came to procure proofs of your identity. When he returns with these you may then claim your daughter, but not till then I am her guardian and will be answerable for her safety. Here Lewiston burst out in a strain of the coarsest invective and implications, but Lindsay remained calm and resolute and only said, in these circumstances you must be aware this can be no residence for you, you will do well therefore to prepare to leave it as soon as you can make your arrangements and if the means are wanting I'm ready to furnish you with what is necessary. He then left the room and hastened to Gertrude who was waiting him in an agony of apprehension. End of section 99, section 100 of The Inheritance by Susan Edmund Stoonfarier. This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Volume 3, chapter 29. It was with caution, Lindsay communicated to Gertrude the suspicions which he entertained, but to one of her sanguine spirit the slightest surmise was sufficient to kindle hope in her breast. She was certain she was no longer Countess of Rossville, but not to be the daughter of this man, not to loathe and shudder at him to whom she owed her being, even this seemed almost happiness. But then as she thought of the difficulty of procuring evidence from so distant a quarter of the world, her spirit sunk, and she exclaimed, but how impossible for me to obtain information and how vague and unsatisfactory must it be. Trust that to me, dear Gertrude, said Lindsay, I will send by the first ship a person who will thoroughly investigate into this man's history and on whose testimony you may safely rely. I would go myself if that would be more satisfactory to you, and if I saw you in a place of safety. Oh, Lindsay, cried Gertrude with a burst of tears, which for a moment choked her utterance, then passionately exclaimed, you protect and save me while he. She uttered a sob as though her heart had broke, then remained silent. Blinded as Gertrude was by romantic passion, she could not but be struck with the contrast between her lover's conduct and that of Lindsay, and the conviction rushed upon her heart with a bitterness which for a time absorbed every other consideration. With emotion scarcely less than her own, Lindsay now inquired whether she had divulged the secret to anyone else. Gertrude struggled for a few moments to regain her composure, then said yes to one whom it more nearly concerned than any other, and now I wait but to hear from him to make known my disgrace to the whole world. How false, how worldly are your notions of disgrace, dear Gertrude, said Lindsay, but I will not stop to combat them now. Tell me what you wish to have done, what are your plans? It is Colonel Delmore's wish that I should remain here until I hear from him, said Gertrude, in a faltering voice. Be it so then, said Lindsay, with emotion, but remember, Gertrude, you have a home. If you will, Dane, to accept of it, my house is yours to command. My aunt, Mrs. Lindsay, whom you have heard me mention, is now in Scotland and will reside there with you. You would love her if you knew her, for she is good and gentle and knows what suffering is. For myself I shall possibly go abroad for a while, or, but in short, I can be at no loss, so promise that if, no, no, I never will be a pensioner on your bounty, cried Gertrude, in violent agitation, I will work, beg, oh, Lindsay, how you ring my heart. And she leaned her head on a table and wept bitterly. Forgive me, dearest Gertrude, if I have hurt you, God knows it was far from my thoughts. And now let me recommend to you to retire to your own apartment. You will be safe from intrusion and leave everything to me. Rest assured there shall no violence be used. He shall be treated as your father, though not recognized as such. But ought I not to see him once more? And, oh, Lindsay, if I should have turned my father from the house, oh, no, I cannot suffer him to remain. He is, nay must be, my father. He could not have imposed upon her at such a distance of time. It is quite possible he might. But dear Gertrude confided me, I will do nothing harshly, but you cannot remain under the same roof. It will kill you. He shall go to my house. He shall be well treated. Indeed he shall. And Gertrude, calm by these assurances, at length, consented to shut herself up in her own apartment and even to refuse to see Lewiston if he should attempt it. Lindsay's next business was to visit Mrs. St. Clair in hopes of elucidating something from her. But he was shocked at the situation in which he found her and immediately sent off for medical assistance and also to Mr. and Mrs. Black requesting them to come to Rossville as soon as possible. He has scarcely done all this when Lewiston entered the room where he was with a mingled air of confusion and effrontery. So, sir, you're going to raise the country. It seems two men on horseback galloping away there as if the deuce were in them. What's the meaning of all this? I must see my daughter. You shall see her abruptly. When you have established your claim to that title you shall see her. Till then I have already told you I act as her guardian and as such I will not consent to your meeting. If you had the feelings of a parent you would see the propriety of this. Feelings exclaimed Lewiston by Jove. My feelings have been prettily treated since I came amongst you. May I be flayed if ever I met with such usage. Feelings by Jingo, I say. My feelings have been confoundedly ill-used and I feel it too. And he walked up and down in great discomposure. She whom you call your daughter is not unmindful of your feelings, said Lindsay. Although, by my advice, she declines a meeting which could serve no purpose but to agitate and distress her. But she is very desirous that you should be treated with consideration. That you should have every comfort and indulgence which you may require and I shall therefore make a point of seeing you properly accommodated. What does she mean by all this plover? Does she mean by comfort and indulgences? And so forth I'll round some of money. If she does, I comprehend that. Give me money. And faith I'll soon find comforts and indulgences for myself. You must be conscious that as your daughter she can have nothing to bestow, said Lindsay, but I possess the means. And when assured that you have told me the truth one way or other, for the truth is all I require from you, we shall then perhaps be able to come to an agreement. Lewiston remained thoughtful for a few minutes then said, has the goose quacked to any but yourself? I want to know. Colonel Delmore has been made acquainted with all the particulars and is gone to consult with his brother. Now Earl of Rossville asked you what is to be done? Be assured that their hands you will meet with little indulgence. Here Lewiston broke out into an extracuration against Delmore and against Gertrude, both of whom he denounced in the bitterest terms. Then suddenly changing his tone he said, it will cost you something I can tell you to send to New Jersey, that it will, a few dollars I can tell you. I've already told you I'm ready to pay a good price for the knowledge of the truth, be it what it may, said Lindsay. What even supposing, only supposing you know that I were not the girl's father? Perhaps I should be inclined to pay more for that discovery than for any other, said Lindsay, trying to hide his emotion. But I again repeat it is the truth and the truth only I require. And that sooner or later I am sure of arriving at. A few months will bring me the knowledge of that. I can tell you it will cost you money. And I have told you I'm ready to pay it. Why? How much do you reckon upon? What lengths are you ready to go? A, I'm willing to go any lengths to detect fraud and villainy, but not to reward it. I am perhaps wrong in offering to come to any compromise with you, but regard for the peace of one who is suffering from your villainy induces me. Will you give a thousand pound interrupted Lewiston abruptly? No, I will give more if necessary to discover the truth, but I will not reward falsehood in the same measure. Confound your distinctions. Will you give five hundred by Jingo? I won't bait a half penny. Upon condition that you swear solemnly to tell the whole truth, said Lindsay, I will do more for you than I am perhaps justified in doing. I will pay your expenses from America and back to it. And I will settle an annuity upon you, a fifty pounds per annum, upon condition that you give up that letter and never set foot in Britain again. I'd rather have a good round sum at once. I want it is in vain to say more on the subject, said Lindsay, if you wish to have an hour to reflect upon it you may, but that must be all. I shall immediately set about the necessary steps to be taken in this affair, and it is likely you will repent having refused my offer when too late. He was moving away when Lewiston caught his arm. Well, will you put in black and white what you have agreed to give and then we shall see. Lindsay immediately took up a pen and wrote his offer. Lewiston took it, looked at it, hemmed, colored, and became confused. At last, plucking up a front row, he said, well, then I'm not the girl's father, and that's as true as that God made me. At this acknowledgment, Lindsay's heart thrilled with rapture and he could scarcely refrain from flying to Gertrude with the joyful tidings. Lewiston went on, but I am of the same blood, and by the remaining, and the same name, I was her father's cousin. And when the old doder of a priest came to Perth Amboy and inquired for Jacob Ruckston Lewiston to be sure he found me, it was by way of humbug at first that I passed myself off for the man who had been drowned nearly 20 years before, but when I found what his business was, but that's enough, I hate long stories, and so as soon as you can, let me have this on a proper bit of parchment, pointing to the paper Lindsay had given him. I will wish you a good afternoon. But how came you to impose yourself so easily upon Mrs. St. Clair? Inquired Lindsay anxious for Gertrude's sake to ascertain everything. She had seen the person you represented. She had so, but it was near 20 years ago, and there was a family likeness it seems. Besides, I had the letter to shut her mouth, and since I was master of her secret, it signified little to her whether I were the girl's father or not, I had got the upper hand of her anyhow. Having got all the information that was wanted, Lindsay was now only desirous of being rid of so worthless an inmate, and after admonishing him upon the inequity of his ways, he gave him a letter to his agent directing the money to be paid and the bond to be made out for his annuity, then only waited to see him fairly out of the house before he communicated to Gertrude the happy result. End of section 100. Section 101 of the Inheritance by Susan Edmond Stoonfarer. This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Volume 3, Chapter 30. Plus nous étions jeunes, moins nous avions de résignation. Qu'à dans la jeunesse, sur tout l'on s'attend dans bonheur, l'on croit en avoir le droit, et l'on se révolte à l'idée de ne pas l'openir. Madame de Stoll, for a time Gertrude felt as though she were again restored to all she had lost. In her joy at finding, she was not the daughter of the man whom her very soul abhorred and at the moment all other evils seemed light compared to that she had just escaped. She could not find words to thank Lindsay for his generous interference, though that was only known to her in part, but her looks, her tears, her broken exclamations spoke more forcibly the feelings of her heart. But the first flush of joy over many a bitter thought arose. She was still the fallen, degraded, dependent being without a home, without a friend, save one, he to whom she owed all. And Delmore, but on Delmore she would not think she would wait in all the unnatural calmness of patience which knew not resignation to she heard from him. And then, and her heart heaved in agony as she thought what might then be the result. Lindsay seemed to guess something of what was passing in her mind, for he said with some emotion, those who like yourself have been imposed upon in this fraud ought not, they also, to be undeceived. Shall I perform that duty for you? Shall I write? He stopped. But Gertrude knew to whom he eluded, and for a moment she wished that Delmore were indeed apprised of the discovery which had been made that she was not the daughter of the horrid Lewiston. But in another instant she rejected the idea. No thought she I will not seem to court his notice. As heiress of Rossville I gloried in avowing my preference for him. But as the poor, homeless Gertrude, tis he must now seek me. My heart may break, but it will not bend. I will wait, I will be to him all or nothing. But she almost gasped as she repeated to Lindsay, I will wait. Then after a pause she added, with a deep blush, but do you what you think right for me? And Lindsay's generous, disinterested spirit guided upon every occasion by that heavenly principle due unto others, even as you would that others should do unto you prompted him to write and acquaint Delmore with the truth. As the daughter of Lewiston he was certain he never would have stooped to an alliance with Gertrude, but whether as she was now situated he would still fulfill his engagement was a doubtful question. At any rate it was due to him to be undeceived and though he comprehended and approved of that delicacy which kept Gertrude silent he deemed it but the more incumbent on him to declare the truth. He therefore wrote a simple and brief statement of what had passed without noticing or alluding to anything else and having dispatched his letter he awaited the answer in an agitation of mind little inferior to Gertrude's. Meanwhile Dr. Bruce and Mr. and Ms. Black had successively arrived and it was Lindsay's painful task to make the two latter acquainted with the guilty transaction which he did in the gentlest and most delicate manner but however desirous he was of sparing their feelings it was impossible to soften the disgraceful fact which fell upon them like a thunderbolt and affected them each according to the difference of their mind and feelings. When the first shock had been surmounted it was settled that Ms. Black should remain at Rossville for the present in attendance upon Mrs. St. Clair whose situation was such as to disarm every hostile feeling even could such have found harbor in her sister's breast but it was in sorrow not in anger that she acknowledged the disgrace which had fallen upon them and Lindsay hoped that her soft, up-rating spirit might tend to calm Gertrude's wilder grief but Gertrude refused to say her. Do not, said she, to Lindsay with an agitation that shook her whole frame. Do not ask me to see anyone at present. Never ask me to see the sister of. She stopped shuttering. But you forgive her, Gertrude, said Lindsay. Gertrude was silent for some moments then exclaimed with a burst of emotion. Oh, it is dreadful to have been thus striving against nature striving to love as my mother, she who was my bitterest enemy she has broken bands which God himself have knit my mother and I knew her not as such gentle and un-complaining I treated her as my servant. Oh, may God forgive me but do not ask me to forgive her. Ah, Gertrude, it was not thus we were taught to pray by him who forgave us but Gertrude only wept in bitterness of heart. Dear Gertrude, you have been heroic. Will you not be forgiving? Do not let me think you find it easier to be great than to be good. For you I would do much, said Gertrude, in increasing emotion. I would do even this if I could. But I cannot. Do not then. Do not name her to me. She, passionately, while she pressed her hands on her bosom as if to still the tumult of her soul she it is who has made me the lost, degraded wretched being that I am and ever must remain and again her tears burst forth. How you disappoint me, Gertrude, said Lindsay with a sigh I have flattered myself that the same greatness of mind which led you to cast far from you all that you most prized on earth would at the same time have taught you the worthlessness of those mere worldly objects. I'm grateful that you are. Which of all the gifts a liberal creator has endowed you with would you exchange for those empty distinctions which one creature bestows upon another? Would you exchange your beauty for rank? Your talents for wealth? The greatness of mind for extended power? For all of them would you exchange your immortal soul? Ah, Gertrude, what avails it by what name you are called for the few short years of your earthly pilgrimage if to be made fit partakers of immortal life is, as I believe it is, the soul end of existence all that we are called upon to endure here are but means for that end. Do not impute your trials then, severe as they are to a being such as yourself, but look upon them as instruments in the hand of God. It may be to bring you unto him. Even in this world, Gertrude, you may yet live to reap in smiles what has been sown in tears if you will look for happiness where it is only to be found. Gertrude shook her head and still wept, but her tears were softer and her agitation less violent. Lindsay's was not that indiscreet zeal which would break the bruised reed and quench the smoking flax in his blind misjudging enthusiasm. He looked not that the soil should be harrowed and the seed sown and the harvest reaped at one and the same time, but he trusted that the influence of divine truth would bring peace to the soul still fainting with agony beneath the load assigned it and that the heart which God had stricken would yet in prostrating itself at the throne of grace and acknowledging him in all his ways rise superior to the changes of this passing world. O virtue, when this solemn pageantry of earthly grandeur shall be no more, when all distinctions but moral and religious shall vanish, when this earth shall be dissolved, when the moon shall be no more alight by night, neither the sun by day, thou shalt still survive, thy votary's immortal friend, thou shalt appear like thy great author in perfect beauty, thy luster undiminished, thy glory imperishable. End of section 101 Section 102 of The Inheritance by Susan Edmund Stonefarrier. This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Volume 3, Chapter 31. I grant that the stroke which has laid thy hopes low is perhaps the severest that nature can know if hope but deferred may cause sickness of heart, how dreadful to see it forever depart. Barton. Gertrude now experienced the agony of suspense in all its intensity. Restless and unquiet, she walked about her own apartment or, starting at every sound, stopped to listen with suspended breath, then pressed her throbbing heart as though she could have stilled its two malts by the touch of her hand. Why do I submit to this? Why do I endure it? Inquired she of herself as she bent her burning brow in shame at the tears that had fallen in showers on her lover's picture on which she had been gazing. He left me, and at what a time? No, I will not wait to be rejected, cast off like something vile. I will go if it were to beg. And for a moment she formed the desperate resolution of leaving Rossville secretly, a flying she knew not, cared not where, she would find some spot on which to lay her aching head till death should close her eyes. But then the madness of the scheme struck her, she felt she could not mingle with the vulgar throng, young, distinguished, and delicately bred, where could she find a shelter? Lindsay, distraught, had offered her a home, but her spirit already bowed beneath the load of gratitude she owed to him. Then with that ebb and flow of mind, which is ever the effect of powerful excitement, returned her faith in Delmore. Yes, it was, it must be his love for her which had hurried him from her. His was not that selfish passion. He had said so a thousand times which would plunge the object he loved in all the wretchedness of poverty and she knew that he was poor, that he was even in debt, that it was impossible he could support her as he would have his wife appear, but he had gone to prevail upon his brother, to provide for them, and he would come, oh yes, he would come and claim her as his own. It was thus Gertrude communed with herself, her mind either a prey to despair or busy in vain fantastic dreams which even if they were destined to be realized it was idleness to indulge. Her agitation was not lessened when, on the third morning after her lover's departure, intelligence arrived of the death of Mr. Delmore. Gertrude was not so callous to right feeling as not to hear of this event with mingle grief and awe, and the moral was too striking not to fall with conviction on her heart. With tears she acknowledged the vanity, the emptiness of worldly distinction, and kneeling prayed for the moment fervently, devoutly prayed in awe the humiliation of a contrite spirit and an awakened heart. Lindsay did not omit the opportunity of enforcing the solemn lesson which came to shed its calming influence on her ruffled breast. It indeed required no very high sense of religion at such a time to feel the utter insignificance of mere worldly greatness and to acknowledge that its grandeurs, our vapors, its pleasures, illusions, its promises, falsehoods, when he on whom it seemed to have lavished all that it had to bestow was now as if in mockery. A thing at thought of which the roused soul swells boundless and sublime. But alas these wholesome thoughts were yet strangers. In Gertrude's heart and the first sudden shock over, bright thoughts began to spring up even from the ashes of the dead. Even in this hour of grief and fears, when awful truth unveiled appears, some power unknown usurps my breast. Back to the world my thoughts are led, my feet in folly's labyrinth tread and fancy dreams that life is blessed. Again Gertrude's heart bounded as she thought her lover was now Earl of Rossville, able and could she doubt willing to restore her to all she had lost. She would have renounced all for him. She had stood the test and at thousand I, ten thousand times had he wished that it were the disinterestedness of his love in return. There was no longer room for uncertainty, although he might not choose to involve her in the hardships and privations of poverty, yet how would he exalt in raising her to the height from which she descended. And again gay and binglorious visions began to swim before those eyes still wet with tears of penitence for former folly's. Suspense was now changed into impatience, scarcely less supportable as she counted the days and hours which must elapse before she could receive the assurance of her lover's faith, but at length the time came when she might hear from him, but no letter was there. Another and another and another day passed on every instant of which was as an age of agony to Gertrude's throbbing soul overwhelmed with a sea of doubts and again the sickness of hope deferred, crept like poison through her veins. But who can count the beatings of the lonely heart? Once more she had watched from her window the arrival of the post, again she had held her breath to listen for the footstep that was to bring her the letter on which her existence seemed to depend, but a long and dreary pause followed at length it was broken by a message from Lindsay to her. Something is wrong, thought she he is dead or she could not finish the sentence even in imagination the pale trembling gasping for breath she appeared to the library where she was told he awaited her. Her own agitation was too great to permit her to notice Lindsay's as he advanced to meet her and would have spoken but the words died on his lips. Then Gertrude looked on him but it was not grief that was depicted in his countenance yet neither was it joy but a strange mingled expression agitated is usually serene features which she in vain strove to construe. He took her hand but it was in a manner more respectful and an air more embarrassed than he was want to testify towards her with whom he had hitherto been on the very footing of a friend. You have heard you have heard Lindsay cried Gertrude but she could say no more. I have said Lindsay with an emotion he vainly tried to master. Gertrude dearest Gertrude he turned from her for a moment and paced the chamber in disorder while Gertrude bereft of all motion stood pale and speechless suddenly he approached her and putting a letter into her hands he held them locked in his while he said in a voice choked with agitation Gertrude I cannot now say what I feel but if at this time you can think of me at all think of me as your truest your firmest friend as one who shares your every feeling. He then quitted the apartment but Gertrude was scarcely conscious he had spoken for a glance of her eye and told her the letter was from Delmore it was an opened one with desperate courage she unfolded it she began to read it with a beating heart and a trembling hand but as she went on every nerve and fiber felt as though they were hardening into stone it was as follows. Dear Lindsay the melancholy intelligence of my lamented brother's death would reach you some days ago that together with the heart-rending scene I went too much for me and must be my excuse for having so long delayed acknowledging your letter perhaps another motive still more powerful has also influenced me which I know I need not hesitate to avow to you it is the earnest heartfelt desire I have to do every justice to one who though still dearer to me than life and whom it is distraction to me even to think of relinquishing yet at mine I know she is and ever will be in heart as heaven knows how holy I am hers but circumstances we both are it would be folly madness in short you must be aware of the difficulties with which I have to contend you know and I do not hesitate to acknowledge that I consider birth as the most important of all distinctions and I believe I am not the subject at least I know my uncle the Duke who I venture to sound upon this matter is still more decided in his opinion and as he is now in a very declining state and as much in his own power I own I am unwilling to come to extremities with him at present you are aware that the Rossville property considerable as it is did not prove sufficient during the last year to support the death of the Duke and the Duke and the Duke's death have in consequence been incurred I am far from intending to convey the most distant insinuation against the dear object of my affections for if any blame was imputable it would be perhaps more justly due to me but she only lived as her rank demanded and as I should choose my wife to do and I merely mention this to prove to me some magnitude and both together it leaves me little choice as to what in common produce I am called upon to do distressing as it is I consider myself called upon for the present to relinquish those hopes which have so long formed the happiness of my life in which I will still cherish even in spite of fate a time may and I trust will yet come when no such heart-rending alternative thing should be done that can possibly contribute to the peace and comfort of my adored Gertrude I entreat you will therefore prevail upon her to remain at Rossville it is my intention to go abroad for a year or two and it will materially contribute to my tranquility to know that she is still mistress there and in possession of all those enjoyments which I know she prizes so much I must therefore entreat your good to do she will to reside with her or should she persist in choosing another residence that everything be arranged in the most liberal manner I enclose you an order upon coots that you may draw on my account for whatever is requisite that nothing be wanting that can in any degree tend to embellish an existence which alas for men's forth like my own I fear will be but a painful one dear Lindsay to your hands I know her affections are mine holy mine and I but who that has loved Gertrude could ever love another I will endeavor to write to her myself when my nerves have regained some firmness but at present you may judge of the state of my mind from this distracted scroll write to me I entreat of you dear Lindsay tell me how my dearest love bears herself write by return of post and still PS the law people are taking the necessary steps to have my rights recognized contrive to say my poor Gertrude's feelings as much as possible on this occasion end of section one hundred and two section one hundred and three of the inheritance by Susan Edmund Stone farrier this liberal box recording is in the public domain volume three chapter 32 go to have life a blessing yet for me I have no country I have no house a refuge from my ills Euripides such was the letter and when Gertrude ended it she cast one look of anguish to heaven as she murmured for him oh my god I would have abandoned all thou knowest that I would she could not have found a name for the wretchedness which rung her heart but yet with a mean outwardly calm save for her burning cheek and quivering lip she passed to the adjoining room where Lindsay was waiting with the most intense anxiety the effect which this communication would produce as Gertrude returned the letter she merely bent her head to him but he saw that her eyes were tearless and her air was even loftier than it was want she moved on towards the door at the opposite end of the room which communicated with her own suite of apartments and Lindsay made no attempt to detain her the winner hand was upon the lock she turned round and approaching him she shook his hand and pressed it between hers my dear my only friend said she may god bless you why do you say so now dearest Gertrude cried Lindsay fearing he knew not what from the unnatural calmness of her manner because I feel it said Gertrude with a sigh as though her heart had broke and I may I too say all I feel for you said Lindsay with emotion know why should you feel for me I am well quite well said Gertrude with the same sort of wild calmness but I will never forget your kindness to me a tear gleamed in her eye as she turned away Lindsay made an effort to detain her as he exclaimed speak then tell me do to serve you to save you if I can from Gertrude gently disengaged herself from him while she said in a firm voice I will not remain here but I have arrangements to make before I go do not seek to detain me where will you go dearest Gertrude my house is yours and my aunt I will not go to your house Edward said Gertrude and her voice began to falter an effort to regain her composure she quickly added I know not yet where I shall go I must have time I have arrangements to make but I cannot breathe here and she gasped as she spoke then waving her hand to Lindsay she hastily entered her own apartment still Gertrude's energy did not forsake her as she said about her preparations but she mistook for 42 what in reality was only fever of mind and it was under that false excitement that she acted she was alive but to one feeling she had been deserted by him for whom she would have sacrificed the world itself he whom she loved sufficiently even to have renounced he whom every hallowed obligation every principle of honor every feeling of tenderness had bound to her by ties she had considered as indissoluble he had dared to insult her by supposing she would choose to be indebted to his bounty for her support he deemed her unworthy of being his wife and he would have her submit to become his pensioner to live upon his alms to be clothed and fed by him to drag out a life of dependence amid those very scenes which had witnessed her in the full meridian of her prosperity she could not she would not consider what she was to do with as she was to go it mattered not what became of her but away from Rossville she would work beg, starve but she would not sink into a base stipendiary but at last Gertrude knew nothing of life in its ways when she reasoned thus she knew nothing of those various manners and degrees in which every human being even those possessed of the loftiest feelings of independence are bound more or less to one another she only panted to escape from the degradation she felt she was enduring and every other idea was absorbed in that single one but when her arrangements were completed then the dreadful sense of utter loneliness came upon her and she pressed her throbbing temples in agony as she leaned her head upon her hand and vainly strove to think of wither and to whom she would go but the world seemed all before her where to choose for she had no claim upon anyone being in it and who would claim her abject degraded fallen as she was no one but the generous noble minded Lindsay and he was the last person she would have recourse to she could not bear that he should look upon her in her humiliation he knew that she had been rejected for saken he had seen that heart which had been so fondly sought so probably one now cast back upon her as a thing of naught she was roused from this agony of thought by the entrance of her maid to announce that Mr. Ramsey was in the saloon and wished to see her I will not see him I will not see anyone that and again the horror which she felt for all connected with the author of her misery rushed upon her my lady exclaimed Miss Masham I am not your lady I am but no matter you will know all when I am gone gone where wither repeated she to herself then the sudden resolution seized her that she would see Mr. Ramsey he would take her from Rossville no matter what became of her after that and not daring to deliberate she hastily passed on to the apartment still under the excitement of feelings strained to their utmost stretch Mr. Ramsey had been made acquainted by Mr. Black with the discovery which had taken place and for some time indignation against Mrs. St. Clair feeling that found place in his breast then as that somewhat abated his heart began to yearn with pity towards the victim of her guilt and at length that stranger sentiment for Uncle Adam was not prone to the indulgence of such weakness gradually grew into something almost akin to joy at the thought that she whom he had always loved for her resemblance to his first and only love was indeed her descendant the resemblance even in his mind's eye grew twenty times stronger and he felt that he should look upon her with greater delight as the granddaughter of Lizzie Lundy than ever he had done as Countess of Rossville she was his own nearest relation to for Lizzie and he had been cousins German brother and sisters children while his connection with the blacks was only by half blood all this Uncle Adam had revolved over and over again as he paced his little chamber irresolute how to act at length unable to come to any fixed determination he took chase from the blue boar and set off for Rossville where he arrived as if heaven directed at the very moment when his appearance seemed indeed as an interposition of providence for the first time he voluntarily extended his hand and grasped Gertrude's in it with a vehemence which was indicative of the warmth and sincerity of his good will both were silent for some moments for even Uncle Adam for the time seemed overcome but at length he said it is needless to say any thing about it I did not want to hear only Mayor just tell me whether I can do you any good will you gang with me oh yes yes cried Gertrude take me from this oh take me now but stay now are you sure you're ready said Mr. Ramsey who was not quite so rapid in his movements and who although perfectly sincere in his offer had not expected it to be so promptly acted upon moreover he was not quite sure that they perfectly understood each other and he thought some explanation necessary before they set off together he would feign have put the question in a delicate form but he had never been accustomed to sounding and delicacy was not his fort he was therefore feign to have recourse to his own method of gaining information which was to put the question in the most direct manner and he said with his usual bluntness do you can war it is your going the question struck like a dagger to Gertrude's heart and smote with the consciousness of her own desolation she could not speak she turned away her head to hide the burning drops that forced their way from her eyes I have no home said she in a voice choking with emotion I am a beggar I'm very glad to hear it said Uncle Adam warmly that's just the very thing I wanted I rejoiced that you're to owe nating to that prude thron pack so come with me, my daughter and ye's no want for only thing that I hate to give you Lizzie Lundy's Baron will be my Baron so come your ways the bird mong flicked her that flees wait a wing but ye's harmed up your head yet in spite of them all in the two multiverse mind Gertrude had entirely overlooked the ties which bound her the daughter of Jacob Lewiston to him whom she had only known as the uncle of Mrs. St. Clair but now it glanced upon her that in Uncle Adam she beheld a relation of her own the only being with whom she might claim kindred but she was too wretched even to feel pleasure at the discovery she only considered that he would take her away that he would give her a shelter and there she would die and be heard of no more than Mr. Ramsey as she was hurrying wildly away no, no, cried she impatiently then suddenly stopping, yes I have one kind friend to whom I will say farewell once more as the thought glanced upon her that Lizzie would be glad to see her so protected and she sent to say she wished to see him he instantly hastened to her and was made acquainted with the arrangement which had been made though he was still left in ignorance of the relationship which subsisted so Gertrude in the fervor of her mind had already ceased to think of it and Uncle Adam from certain tender feelings was unwilling to enter into particulars although he was not exactly the person to whose hands Lizzie would have chosen to commit Gertrude yet situated as she was even Uncle Adam's home was better than none especially as he most cordially invited him to come to it as often as he pleased there is one person you wished me to see and I would not so Gertrude in agitation to Lizzie was almost on the threshold to depart but now I would see her sister before I go and the wish was no sooner signified to Miss Black than she hastened to comply with it at sight of her a slight tremor shook Gertrude's frame but she neither wept nor spoke she merely kissed her twice with fervor then turned away and bade a long farewell to Rossville the same day Mrs. St. Clair was removed to the house of her sisters in of section 103 section 104 of The Inheritance by Susan Edmundstone-Farrier this LibriVox recording is in the public domain volume 3 chapter 33 sorrows are well allowed and sweetened nature where they express no more than drops on lilies but when they fall in storms they bruise our hopes make us unable though our comforts meet us to hold our heads up messenger but this state of high wrought feeling could not long continue in vain Gertrude struggled against the burning sense of her wrongs and her wretchedness in vain she repressed each rising sigh and starting tear off the scorn at the weakness they would have betrayed in vain she repeated to herself a thousand times that she was calm she was well her throbbing head and aching heart told another tale and she was at length compelled to yield to the fever which for some time had been praying upon her then reason fled and for many days her life was doubtful and massed if hung round the bed which contained his new found treasure in all the stern woe of rigid old age Lindsay was the only person accepting the medical attendance whom he would see but to him he would utter the grief which filled his heart even to overflowing long closed as it had been against each softer feeling and Lindsay even in the midst of his own anguish strove to cheer and support the disconsolate old man but the object of all this solicitude was once more restored to them the crisis of the fever was passed anger drew again awoke to consciousness it was only then she was aware of the danger she had passed she had walked unconsciously through the valley of the shadow of death the gates of eternity had been before her she had been while still hovering on the confines of this world that she felt all the emptiness and the vanity of its pleasures her dreams of greatness her hopes of happiness her gaze spent days her festive nights where were they now gone and where they had been was marked but with shame disappointment remorse all earthly distinctions had been hers and what was the account of these his gifts on which of these was it that she would now build her hopes of acceptance with him on which of them would she now rest her hopes of eternal happiness alas miserable comforters were they all a deep melancholy now took possession of Gertrude's mind like all persons of an ardent and enthusiastic temperament she flew from one extreme to the other and what had formerly whispered as faults now roared as crimes only to be expiated by a life of penitence and sorrow she kept her own apartment refused to see anybody even Lindsay and passed her time in solitude and woe in vain did Uncle Adam attempt to stem the tide of affliction which had thus broken in upon her shattered heart she acknowledged his kindness with tears and with gratitude attempted to remonstrate with her or urged her to see anyone she became violently agitated and her only answer was if you love me suffer me oh suffer me to die in peace the indulgence of her grief had now become a sort of strange unnatural luxury to her she loved to sit for hours brooding on her sorrows to hoard them as it were in her own heart she could not have borne she loved to think that no one could share in them that she stood alone in the world a wretched forsaken lonely thing to a heart such as hers the existence of some powerful sentiment was necessary she had strove to tear from her heart every root every fiber of her once cherished tenderness but no flower had arisen to fill the void they had left all was dreariness and desolation Lindsay had written to her repeatedly urging and imploring her to see him and using every argument to rouse her from this wasteful excess of grief but she only wept when she read his letters and wished that he would cease to think of one so wretched so degraded as she was poor Uncle Adam was almost heart broken at this pertinacity of suffering all that he possessed he had told her again and again should be hers she should be mistress there she should have everything that gold and good will could procure to make her happy but Gertrude would only exclaim no, no, once I had wealth and power and how did I abuse them leave me then the beggar that I am that I deserved to be she was in this state of mind when one day the door of her apartment was gently opened and Leslie slowly entered at sight of her displeasure at the intrusion but Anne caught her hand and as she respectfully kissed it her tears dropped upon it Gertrude stood some moments irresolute then throwing herself on Anne's neck she exclaimed with a burst of anguish you trusted in God and he has not deceived you while I she stopped overcome with the acuteness of remembrance but you will trust in him and he will yet put gladness in your heart said Anne wiping away the tears from her own sweet serene face where it shone the peaceful calm of a heavenly mind no, never said Gertrude I do not deserve to be happy added she in an accent of despair ah, who has ever deserved that happiness which we owe to a saviour's love if thou, Lord shouldest mark thou stand guilty and frail as we all are which of us would dare to lift up our eyes to heaven and say we merited its favour but I had power and I misused it I had wealth and I squandered it I had an idol oh, my God and thou wasst forgot alas said Anne meekly who can weigh even their own actions in the balance so we are temptations greater he only who made the heart can judge it for he only knows what have been its trials he knows, said Gertrude bitterly, that in the day of prosperity mine was far from him and therefore has he dissolved those vain delights which had taken possession of the soul he had destined for himself ah, do not look to God merely as to an offended judge from whose face you turn away but as to a tender father who invites you to come unto him and he will give you rest happiness greater than any you have ever known happiness, repeated Gertrude no, my heart is forever closed against that ah, do not say so said Anne God can put in heavenly calm into that heart which is shut against all earthly joys Gertrude felt a truth of these simple words and by degrees she felt a dreary stupor in which it had so long been buried and her mind became soothed and composed beneath the calming influence of that religion whose very essence is love and peace she saw that her heart had gone astray in its own delusions but these were dispelled she had received a new impulse and she had awakened if not to happiness at least to something less perishable less fatal to something fancy which could convert the sound of common things to something exquisite but now she bowed her heart in quietness she knew her brightest prospects could revive no more yet was she calm for she had heaven in view oh, thou who driest the mourners tear how dark this world would be if wind deceived and wounded here we could not fly to thee the friends who in our sunshine lived who has but tears to give must weep those tears alone but thou wilt heal the broken heart which like the plants that throw their fragrance from the wounded part breathe sweetness out of woe more end of section 104 section 105 of the inheritance by Susan Edmundstone Farrier this LibriVox recording is in the public domain volume 3 chapter 34 forgiveness to the injured does belong but they ne'er pardon who commit the wrong Dryden it was with emotion that Gertrude and Lindsay met once more and both were struck with the change in each other's appearance for Lindsay too looked as though he had indeed borne apart in all her sufferings and she was smote with the selfishness which had caused her so long to indulge her sorrow unmindful of the generous heart which had shared in it but if the brilliancy of her beauty was dimmed by the blight which had fallen upon her it had acquired a character of still deeper interest in the eyes of those who loved her her pale cheek like a white rose on which the sun hath looked too wildly warm is not this passion's legend the drooping lid whose lash is wet with tears a lip which has the sweetness of a smile but not its gaiety do not these bear the scorched footprints sorrow leaves in passing the clear brow of youth I would first see you to acknowledge the boundless gratitude I owe for all your kindness to me said Gertrude who was the first to speak and then once you asked me to forgive her who had injured me and I would not for then I was proud, passionate, revengeful but now I would go to her I would forgive her even as I trust I have been forgiven by Gertrude said Lindsey with emotion how happy this makes me but do not humble me by talking of your gratitude to me to have done less than I have done when the means were in my power would have been criminal if I have been enabled to serve you that is recompense more than sufficient I have borne a selfish part in your welfare for your happiness was mine in vain no interest it cannot do not talk thus my dear friend said Gertrude in agitation ah Gertrude since the same true and immortal passion has touched our hearts suffer me now to avow the sentiments which I have so long cherished for you no no not now cried Gertrude in increasing emotion be to me all that you have hitherto been a friend a guardian a brother she sighed and in spite of herself a tear rolled slowly down her cheek I will then said Lindsey for he feared that the ties which bound them might be broken in the effort to draw them closer Gertrude went to the house of the Miss Blacks and was received by them with tears of tenderness and thankfulness Mrs. St. Clair had recovered from the effects of the laudanum of her life and in a few days she was to depart she talked much of you for some time said Miss Black and said she could not die in peace till she had obtained your forgiveness but of late allies since her health has been restored she has thought I fear less seriously and she has not spoken of you at all perhaps she may even be averse to see you and she went to acquaint her that Gertrude was there some time elapsed before she returned and she said her sister had been violently agitated that the thoughts of seeing Gertrude and had at first refused to do it but that she was now more composed and had consented to receive her upon condition that she came alone the room was darkened to which Gertrude was conducted but there was a studied arrangement an air of elegant seclusion about it which at once indicated that the inmate was unchanged no symptom of penitence was there she was attired in an elegant desabile and her fantilla her cushions, her footsteps, her screen her flowers, her perfumes, her toys were all collected around her in the manner Gertrude had been so long accustomed to see them and on the arrangement of which Mrs. Sinclair had been want to peak herself as a combination of French, elegance and English comfort for a moment Gertrude felt a rising interest at this display of heartless selfishness but she repressed it and extending her hand said mildly I have come to offer that forgiveness which I once refused but Gertrude has put better feelings in my heart and I now forgive you from the heart as I hope to be forgiven I too have something to forgive so Mrs. Sinclair vehemently I have to forgive the cruel disregard the unnatural unrelenting violence with which you treated one who had ever been as a mother to you in all but the natural time I had done all for your aggrandizement I had raised you from beggary and obscurity to wealth and greatness and it is you who have brought me to shame and misery and poverty and am I to have nothing to forgive I humbled myself in the dust to you and you was deaf to my prayers I told you that my life was in your hands that it did not pay the effort of your ration and human conduct is no merit of yours have I then nothing to forgive but I do forgive such she extending the hand she had hitherto refused but with an air and manner of haughty condescension my wrongs and injuries have been great but I forgive them Gertrude almost recoiled with horror from the touch of one whose mind was still so perverted and whose soul seemed to have been corroded instead of purified by the judgment that had fallen upon her but she meekly took her hand and said you say true mere human forgiveness is indeed a thing of not more blessed to them who give than to them who receive but I pray oh God do thou hear my prayer that thy forgiveness may be vouchsafed she turned and left the apartment she did not wound her sisters by repeating what had passed but her own heart felt lighter that she had been enabled to pray for heavenly forgiveness even to her who had wrought all her woe end of section 105 section 106 of The Inheritance by Susan Edmundstone-Farrier this Libervox recording is in the public domain volume 3 chapter 35 good the beginning good the end shall be and transitory evil only makes the good end happier Salvi the following day a plain but handsome carriage with suitable attendance stood at Uncle Adam's door which he at first seemed ashamed of but after a little coinous and confusion he let Gertrude understand it was for her accommodation and propose that they should together make trial of it Gertrude had never appeared abroad except in her visit to Missa St. Clair from the time of her arrival at Mr. Ramsey's and a thousand painful feelings rushed upon her at the thoughts of exposing herself to the public gaze and the public gaze of a small idle gossiping impertinent country town she was therefore on the point of expressing her repugnance and grateful when he had sacrificed his feelings so far as to set up a carriage for her if she did not appear to be gratified by this proof of his affection she therefore accepted of his proposal and away they drove she was not yet sufficiently mistress of her thoughts to bestow much observation on the shifting scenes as they passed along and she was scarcely aware of what she looked when she found herself at the very door of Bloom Park they entered and a respectable looking housekeeper and butler with inferiors stood ready to receive them there's your lady said Uncle Adam giving Gertrude a slight push by way of introducing her see that you behave discreetly and when you want only thing you mongang to her fort they're a boot they things than me this was quite an oration for Uncle Adam and having made it he started into one of the public rooms and Gertrude followed him my dear uncle said she for she still continued that appellation how your kindness overpowers me I cannot express how much I feel it who did snathing said he impatiently so did a gang to fast yourself and a boot that the best things you can give me is to let me see the red on your cheek and the smile on your E that used to be there and then I'll believe that I've done you some good but no till then and he affectionately patted her shoulder which was going great links for Uncle Adam everything had evidently been done with a view to gratify Gertrude's taste and feelings and there was a good taste with all his good intentions she could scarcely give Uncle Adam credit it must be Lindsey's doing Lindsey who knew so well all her habits and pursuits had provided every indulgence and facility for both and that too merely in a general way without descending to all the little minutia which it is woman's prerogative to arrange the news of Mr. Ramsey's establishment at Bloom Park soon circulated in the neighborhood and was not long of reaching the ears of Mrs. Major Waddell and caused them to tingle with indignation and ending in the midst of all her finery she was not happy for Gertrude as Uncle Adam's heiress was the thorn in her side the bitter drop in her cup the black man in her closet the mordecai at her gate such as ever the effect of any baleful passion especially when operating on a weak mind and so difficult is it to form an estimate of worldly enjoyment by the symbols of outward prosperity her only hope was that she would be able to prove Uncle Adam in his do-teach and for that purpose she would feign have established a system of espionage betwixt Thornbank and Bloom Park but all her schemes were counteracted by Uncle Adam's sagacity the only way in which she could therefore give vent to her malice was when in company with Gertrude by taking or rather making every opportunity by all claim to distinction solely on the ground of birth family connections and other such adventitious circumstances as the weak vulgar mind lays hold of to exalt itself in the eyes of those who must be weaker than itself to be so dazzled but in this she was met by Uncle Adam who guarded Gertrude in awe that in any way concerned her as a faithful shepherd's colleague does the lamb committed to his charge and he was now too happy to be discomposed even by Mrs. Waddell which had long been the desideratum in his life and he was gradually getting more benign and mellow beneath Gertrude's gentle influence the first inconveniences of a change of residence and habits fairly over even began to take some interest in rural avocations only stipulating that he was never to be spoken to on any of the numerous evils inseparable from extensive property in which not unfrequently embitter the peace of the possessor bad tenants, bad crops, bad weather bad servants, poachers, robbers, trespassers in all the thousand ills that wealth is heir to and which perhaps bring happiness more upon a par between the rich and the poor than is generally supposed one of the first to pay her respects to the new heiress of Bloom Park was Miss Pratt that lady's absence or at least her silence for so long a period remains to be accounted for to such as take an interest in her fate but the only real matter effect was that she had been refreshing and invigorating herself at Harrowgate at the expense of her friend and ally Sir Peter Wellwood and had just returned to give the lie direct to the current report of Gertrude's having been rejected by her lover on the discovery of her birth this she roundly asserted was so far from being the case that she had with her own ears heard her refuse him again and again it was consistent with her knowledge that she had been long engaged with the turret scene was somewhat of a staggerer yet even that Miss Pratt contrived the bolt and settled the matter with herself by her having had a great cold and ringing in her ears all that day which had prevented her hearing exactly what passed she therefore boldly claimed her five guineas from Uncle Adam though how far she was entitled to them was a doubtful question and might have borne a dispute and time was when Uncle Adam would have soon have given her those two cavalet trifles and he paid her the money at the first suggestion only taking every possible precaution against the possibility of his giving her a note more than enough well my dear said she displaying her winnings to Gertrude you see I can sing a blive note at your wedding ha ha ha and by the by do you know the news is that a certain cast off lover of yours is on the top of his marriage with his old flame the Duchess of St. Ives and her fancy there well met but whether they'll hang long together is another story Gertrude could not hear of this event without some degree of emotion but it soon passed away and when at the end of some month she read out pompous detail of it in the newspapers it was with feelings far removed from either envy or regret still less would they have been called for could she have foreseen the termination which a few years brought round the trade by a faithless wife the Earl of Rossville fought to avenge his honor and fell in the cause but long before then Lindsay's virtues and the fervor and disinterestedness of his attachment had insensibly created for him a warm interest in Gertrude's affections as has been truly said in considering the actions of the mind it should never be forgotten that his affections pass into each other like the tents of the rainbow though we can easily distinguish them when they have assumed a decided color where each hue begins the bewildering glare of romantic passion no longer shed his fair but perishable luster on the horizon of her existence but the calm radiance of piety and virtue rose with steady ray and brightened the future course of a happy and a useful life and Gertrude as the wife of Edward Lindsay lived to bless the day that had deprived her of her earthly inheritance to that indeed by the death of Lord Rossville who dying without a family was succeeded by Lindsay who was again restored without mind enlightened us to the true uses and advantages of power and prosperity thus all our ill may if directed well find happy end the end end of section 106 end of The Inheritance by Susan Edmundstone Farrier