 The Jack Benny program presented by lucky strike LSM FT lucky strike means fine tobacco Here is what independent tobacco expert say about the fine tobacco bought by the makers of Lucky Strike A mild tobacco with real flavor and melanous. Tobacco you can't beat for top smoking enjoyment. Floyd Clay, top flight tobacco warehouseman, said that. Find ripe, smoking-leigh, that makes a smooth mild smoke. for 22 years. Lucian Purdom, ace tobacco auctioneer, said that. Yes, friends. At auction after auction, independent tobacco experts can see the makers of Lucky Strike by that fine, that light, that naturally mild tobacco. So for your own real deep down smoking enjoyment, remember, LSMFT, Lucky Strike means fine tobacco, real Lucky Strike tobacco. So smoke that smoke of fine tobacco, Lucky Strike, so round, so firm, so fully packed, so free and easy on the draw. Graham starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston, Phil Harris, Rochester, Dennis Day, and yours truly, Don Wilson. And now, ladies and gentlemen, let's get back to this morning and look in on Jack Benny at his home in Beverly Hills. Let's see. Maybe behind this chiffonere, I'll move it and look. No, not here. Maybe behind the sofa. See, not here either. Oh, Rochester. Yes, boss? Are you sure you hid the Easter eggs in this room? Then you're getting warm. Warm, huh? Oh, I know where you hid them. I'll bet you put the eggs in my violin case. Your violin case? Yeah. I wouldn't touch that thing if I was full of penicillin. Now, let's see. Oh, I know where they are. Rochester, hold this chair steady for me while I stand on it. OK. Steady now. Yep. Yeah, here they are. Four eggs. Dog gone, I never thought you'd find the ones I hid in the chandelier. Rochester, I saw the lost weekend, too. Yeah, but Mr. Milan got a better pay off than you did. I guess so. You know, Rochester, it was awfully nice to get a color and hide these eggs so I could have fun on Easter Sunday. What made you do it? Well, last year I didn't, and when you got up in the morning, you cried your little blue eyes out. I did not. I never cried. Nothing could have set me that much. What are you laughing at? When Shirley Temple got married, you locked yourself in the room for three days. Rochester. And when you finally came out, you tore up all your pictures of Margaret O'Brien. Oh, stop making up stories. Imagine me and Margaret O'Brien. She's young enough to be my daughter. So was thee to bear, but that didn't slow you down. I've told you dozens of times that Fita and I were just good friends. Now, Rochester, I want you to take these four eggs and put them away for me. But, boss, I hid five of them all together. Five? Well, let's see. Maybe the other one is hidden behind the... I'll get her, Rochester. Maybe they're delivering my new car. Hello, Jack. Why, Mary, happy Easter. Come on in. Say, that's a good-looking Easter outfit you have on, and that hat. Do you really like the hat, Jack? Like it. Why, it looks beautiful on you. You think it looks good on me? You should have seen it on Tom Breneman. Tom Breneman. Or did you go to his program, Breakfast in Hollywood? Sure, I go all the time. I was even there the morning you won the orchid. Yeah, I'll never forget the look on the loser's face. Poor thing, she came all the way from Iowa, too. But, Mary, all dressed up in your Easter outfit. Where have you been? Well, Jack, you know, on Easter Sunday, most of the movie stars walked down Wilshire Boulevard, and I went along to see the parade. Oh, you see any celebrities? Oh, sure, I saw lots of them. I saw Bing Crosby. Crosby, eh? Was Bing dressed up for Easter? Was he? I've never seen him so formal. He was wearing patent leather shoes, gray spats, striped pants, and a cutaway pajama top. Who else did you see on the Boulevard, Mary? Well, I saw Gary Cooper and his wife. Mrs. Cooper was wearing a beautiful green dress with fox, trim, and gold accessories. She looked lovely. And what was Gary wearing? Brown shoes, tan slacks, and a light jacket. Oh, did he have a hat on? I couldn't tell. It was cloudy. And I saw Shirley Temple. I'm not interested in her. Oh, I'm sorry, Jack. I thought you'd forgiven her already. Now, let me think. Oh, yes, I saw Van Johnson. Van Johnson? Yes, and you know, Jack, I feel very sorry for the poor guy. Every step he took, he was followed by dozens of girls. They just kept trailing after him for miles. For miles? My goodness, you think those silly kids would get tired? Yeah. Jack, may I have a chair? My feet are killing me. Here, Mary, you can sit in this armchair. Thanks. Gee, it's good to sit in that. Hey, boss, Miss Lipson just found the other egg. Well, hurry, Rochester. Get her a towel and never mind the towel. Just bring a handful of corn. You know, Mary, every Easter, there's another. I'll get her, Rochester. That must be my new car. Oh, hiya, Jackson. Hello, living long time, no see. Hello, Curly. Come on in. Say, Phil, Phil, we missed you in San Francisco. I know, I heard the program. You need me, Jackson. You need me. Phil, like Scotch needs soda, your program just don't fizz without the kid, Jackson. Phil, I need you like a moose needs a hat rack. Believe me. Anyway, you should have been up there with us, Phil. We had a wonderful time. San Francisco's such a swell town. You know, I have to tell me about Frisco, Livy. I organized my first band there. You, you what, Phil? I started my first band up there. San Francisco's sure gone through a lot. Your band and the earthquake. They can take it, can't they? Gee whiz, I'll never forget my first band, Jackson. It was just a little three-piece outfit of saxophone, piano and drums, and then we added Frankie, my guitar player. Say, Phil, how'd you happen to hire Frankie? Well, we didn't exactly hire him. You see, we was playing at a wedding, and they couldn't afford to pay us, so they gave us the groom. The groom? What happened to the bride? Oh, she changed her name, started singing with some other band. Really, what's her name now? Carmen Lombardo. Phil, for your information, Carmen Lombardo is a man. Well, maybe it was Carmen Miranda. I don't remember girls' names. I don't fool with names no more. What do I know about it? Shall I get it, boss? No, I better answer the door. I'm expecting my new car. Hey, wait a minute, Jackson. I can't believe it. Did you buy a new car? No, he entered Bob Hope's jingle contest. Yeah. Jack, you didn't send in that jingle you wrote. Certainly, and I think it ought to win. What was the jingle he wrote, Livy? My favorite brunette, and I love him still, is honest Abe on a $5 bill. Well, I thought that was pretty good. Go ahead and answer it, Rochester. Okay. Boss, boss, it is your new car. It's a beautiful light gray color. Uh-oh, my mistake is Mr. Wilson in a new suit. Well, steer him. Show him in, Rochester. Hello, Jack, Mary, Phil. Oh, hello, Don. Great, kid. Gosh, Don, you sure look handsome in your Easter outfit. Yeah, Don, see, where'd you buy that nifty-looking suit? Oh, same place I get all my clothes, with Hart Schaffner marks and O'Reilly. O'Reilly? Don't you mean just Hart Schaffner and marks? Oh, when I buy a suit, they call in extra help. Well, I can understand. The fellow who makes your pants was an engineer on Boulder Dam. But, Don, we were just talking about being up in San Francisco. You had a good time up there? Oh, did I? You know, Jack, I love that town. They have the most wonderful restaurants and the best food in the world. They certainly have. I ate at John's Rendezvous, then I ate at the Tonga Room, then I ate the Pope Gaillard Room in the Fairmont, then I ate at Roberts and the Nugget, and then I ate at Omar Cayam. Gee. And then on the second day, I ate at... What? The next day, I was eating at the Mark Hopkins, and right in the middle of dinner, they ran out of food. The Mark Hopkins? No, San Francisco. Speaking of food has made me hungry. Let's go out in the kitchen, kids, and get some sandwich. What? Oh, you had a feeling? Yeah, for sure. Those sandwiches were very good. They certainly were. Thanks. Mr. Wilson, would you like another bucket of coffee? He's had enough. Now, look, kids... Isn't anybody going to say hello to me? Oh, Dennis. Dad, when did you come in? Oh, I've been here all the time. I was standing behind Mr. Wilson's right leg. Well, say, kid, I tried to reach you on the phone last night, but nobody answered. Where were you? Oh, my mother took me to the circus. Well, did you enjoy it? Yeah, and you should see those girls on the flying trapeze. They wore tights. Dennis, they always wear tights. Say, those trapeze acts are dangerous. Did any of them fall? No, I guess they were all buttoned up. Hey, how is the circus this year, kid? Oh, it's swell. In one act, they shot a man out of the cannon, and he landed right in my mother's lap. What'd your mother do? She hung on to him and yelled, I have a man in the balcony, doctor! Dennis, wasn't your father there? He was the one who aimed the cannon at my mother. Oh, stop. Aim the cannon at his mother. Anything. They say anything. Dennis, how'd you like the clowns? Oh, they were all right, I guess. What do you mean, you guess? The clowns are big stars. They're very funny. Then how come they've only got one show? Dennis, just because you and Phil have two shows doesn't mean that everybody has to have them. Let me tell you something, Jackson. Hold it a minute. I've got two shows, but while you were in San Francisco, I signed up to make a new picture. A new picture, Phil. What's the name of it? The keg and I. Oh, Harris, you may not be Frederick March, but you're the best years of anybody's life. Now I've heard everything. Phil, Phil, let me tell you something. You were only... Phil, you were only kidding about making a picture. I'd like to get a new cast sometime. But it may surprise you to know that right now there's a deal pending where I'm going to be starred in a picture for Samuel Goldwyn. Samuel Goldwyn? Yes. He makes great pictures, and he's the kind of a producer I want to be with. I'll bet Mr. Goldwyn has to work very hard to support his family. He's got 30 daughters. What? The Goldwyn girls. They're not his daughters, Dennis. But anyway, Don, if this deal we're making comes through, it'll really be sensational. You know, Mr. Goldwyn is begging me to consider his offer. Begging you? What are you laughing at? Well, tell him what happened yesterday when you were out to his studio. Mary. Hey, what was it, Livy? Mary, if you open your mouth, I'll never tell you another thing again. Come on, Mary, tell us what happened when Jack went out to see Mr. Goldwyn. Well, about two o'clock yesterday afternoon, Rochester drove Jack out to the studio. There's the main gate, Rochester. I'll get off here. Rochester, you wait right here in the car for me. Boss, do you mind if I lean against that new Cadillac over there? It's good for my morale. No, no, as long as you wait here. Gee, what a high-class studio. Look at the way they got Frederick March's picture plastered all over. I beg your pardon, sir. Huh? You can't go through this gate without a pass. A pass? Perhaps you don't recognize me if you knew who you were talking to. You'd let me go right in. Oh, no, I wouldn't, Mr. Benny. Oh, well, maybe I have a pass in my wallet. I'll take a look. Well? Why don't I open it? First time this year, Mr. Benny? No, no, no. Now, let's see. Here's a pass for Warner Brothers. Here's one for Universal International. Here's one for Biograph. Oh, here's something I don't need anymore. See my draft card? You know, you can tear them up now, you know. You could have torn that one up in 1918. You don't have to be so... Oh, wait a minute, here it is. Gate pass to Samuel Goldwyn Studios. Now, Mr. Goldwyn's office is right through that door. You go right down the hall and turn to the left. Thank you. Hello? Hello, Mr. Benny. Hello. Hello, Mr. Benny. Oh, hello. Hello, Mr. Benny. See those? Goldwyn girls are beautiful. Let's see. She won't, Mr. Goldwyn, be surprised to see me. I hope he's... Oh, this must be his office here. I beg your pardon, Miss, but is this Mr. Goldwyn's office? Yes, sir. Well, will you tell him that Mr. Benny is here to see him? One moment, please. Mr. Goldwyn, Mr. Benny is here to see you. I'll find out. What is it you wish to see Mr. Goldwyn about? A picture. He wishes to see you about a picture. Yes, sir. He told me to give you one out of the top drawer. No, no, no, you misunderstood. You see, I want to talk about... I want to talk to him about making a picture. You see, a movie. Oh, just a moment. Mr. Goldwyn, Mr. Benny wants to talk to you about making a picture. Yes, sir. And Mr. Goldwyn is busy right now. Would you care to wait? Well, thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. Goodbye, Mr. Goldwyn. Well, Hoagie. Hoagie Carmichael. Hello, Jack. Hi, Hoagie. Here I am waiting to go into the office, and you came out. I didn't know you were in there. I've been in that Goldwyn's office since 10 o'clock this morning. Since 10 o'clock this morning? What were you doing in there all the time? I was just trying to convince him that my name is Hoagie and not Hugo. Oh, yes. It happened at the Academy Awards ceremony when Mr. Goldwyn accidentally called you Hugo instead of Hoagie, but it was just a slight mistake. A slight mistake? Jack, for 25 years I built up the name of Hoagie. Hoagie Carmichael. And it wasn't easy. I remember when I first started writing songs, I used to sit up nights, no food, hardly enough money to pay the rent. I was ready to quit, but my wife encouraged me. She said, Hoagie, you can do it. My mother encouraged me. She said, Hoagie, don't give up. My friends encouraged me, Hoagie, stick to it. And they were right. I can remember those great songs. Star Dust by Hoagie Carmichael. Lazy Bones by Hoagie Carmichael. Old Buttermilk Sky by Hoagie Carmichael. They were all great, Hoagie. And who gets all the credit? Some no-talent jerk named Hugo. Well, Hoagie, Hoagie, maybe I can help you. Oh, I wish you would, Jack. All I am now is an unknown character with a million dollars. Whoops. Did you say something, Jack? No, no, it's just that when I hear figures like that, something happens, something happens in my stomach. You know? You mean just because I said a million dollars? Whoops. I did it again. But getting back to you, Hoagie, don't worry. Hoagie, I'll clear up your name for you. I've got a big listening audience, and if you want to come on my program and do one of your songs, I'll let everybody know it was written by Hoagie Carmichael, not Hugo. Uh, guys, if you do that, I'd be very grateful, Jack. I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll sing Old Buttermilk Sky with a special arrangement that will include your quartet to sportsman. My quartet? No, I don't think that that would... What do you mean? Now, just a minute. I've got a copy of it right here. Let me show you what I mean. I've visualized it, Jack. What? Well, here's the way it would go. The introduction starts with full orchestra. Old Buttermilk Sky. I'm keeping my eye peeled on you. What's a good word tonight? Are you gonna be mellow tonight? Tonight, L-S-M-F-T. That's a cigarette for Don Z and we. We're as happy as a Christmas tree. Heading for the one we love. I'm going to pop her the question, that question. Wouldn't you like a lucky strike? Yes, it'll be easy, so is it. Well, that's the one that she will like. L-S-M-F-T. L-S-M-F-T. They won't fail you when you're needing them most. Oh, no. Hang a package on her hitch and pose. Lucky's for the one you love. The one you love. So round and so firm. So round and so firm. That's part of their churn. That's part of their churn. Will they be naturally mild tonight? Yes, sir. Why sure? You bet that's Lucky's strike. Could you visualize while I'm telling you? Could I? Hoagie, I could even hear the applause. That's a wonderful song. Hoagie, would you mind autographing that copy for me? Oh, not at all. Thanks. So long, Jack. So long. Hoagie too. Well, what do you know? He signed a Hugo Carmichael. He really is confused, you know. Mr. Goldwin is waiting. Oh, yes. Yes, yes. Thank you. Mr. Goldwin? Thank you. Mr. Goldwin? Hmm? Come right in. Oh. Mr. Goldwin, I hope you don't mind my breaking in without an appointment. No, no. It's always nice to see you. Sit down, Bob. No, no. My name is Jack, Jack Benny. Oh, yes. Well, Jack, what can I do for you? Mr. Goldwin, I've come here to give you the greatest opportunity of your life. Opportunity? Yes. When I tell you what I've got in my mind, it'll make you the greatest producer in the motion picture industry. This is an opportunity that comes only once... Pardon me. Hello. Hello. Famous home magazine? Yes. I produce the best shares of our lives. Yes, that picture won nine awards for the best picture, for direction, for anything, for musical score, for story, for best actor, for best supporting actor, a special award for Harold Russell, and also the Tolberg Award. That's right. Thank you very much. Now, Jack, what was this opportunity you were going to give me? Well, let's put it this way. Mr. Goldwin, your studio won many Academy Awards this year, and I thought maybe you'd like to win them again next year. I certainly would. What is your suggestion? Well, have you ever thought of making a picture starring Jack Benny? No. Let me help you up, Mr. Goldwin. No, let me rest here a while. Now, what were you saying, Jack? Well, what I was getting at... Pardon me, Mr. Goldwin. Excuse me, Jack. What is the pattern? Well, Mr. Goldwin, two blueprints have been submitted for the set on Stage 8, the reproduction of the George Washington Bridge overlooking New York Harbor. Yes. Now, on both sets, the harbor is always in evidence. However, set number one with just the harbor can be constructed for only a million dollars. Whoops! Did you say something, Jack? No, no, no. Not a thing. On the other hand, in set number two, we can build the harbor, the bridge in the skyline with an extra million. So, you see, it's entirely up to you, Mr. Goldwin, whether you want to spend one million or two million. Whoops! What's the matter with you, Jack? You sound like a tugboat. I'm sorry. Pat, I'll take number two. Yes, Mr. Goldwin. Now, what were you talking about? Mr. Goldwin, I'm not going to beat around the bush. If you make a picture with me, I'm sure we'll win the Academy Award next year. I've got hidden talents. That's snoozy. No, really, I've got hidden talents. Maybe so. I haven't the time to play hide-and-seek. But, Mr. Goldwin... Now, look, Jack, I'm a busy man. I know you are, Mr. Goldwin, but it isn't as though I'm pleading for a job. I made lots of pictures. Call up Warner Brothers. They'll be very happy to recommend me to you. They'll be happy to recommend me to anybody. I mean, look, Mr. Goldwin, if you'd only think it over, I promise you... Pardon me, Mr. Goldwin. What is it now, Pat? We've got to do something about the picture we're shooting on stage five. The script we have now is a little dated. The hero was a bombardier on a B-29. You're right. We should change it. There's something post-war, something civilian. Well, why don't you make him a tail gunner on a Studebaker? Let me help you out, Pat. He's a comedian. We'll talk about it later. Hmm. Tail gunner on a Studebaker. Well, I thought it was very funny, didn't it? Maybe so, Jack. In fact, I think you're very good on the radio. Radio, radio? I want pictures, Mr. Goldwin. You've got to help me. I want to win an Academy Award. Jack, let's talk about it some other time. What? I'm very... I'm way behind my appointments. I spent the whole morning talking to Hogi. Hogi? Yes, Hogi Michelson. Mr. Goldwin, that's Hogi Carmichael. Oh, yes, yes. Now, getting back to me, Mr. Goldwin, why can't you produce a picture that'll make me win the Academy Award? Why? Tell me why. Well, Jack, maybe I can. Let me, sir, have a look without those thick glasses that you have on. Take them off. All right. There. Now, see how I look with my glasses off? See how blue my eyes are? You know, that'll help if we make it in Technicolor. And look how long my lashes are. Real, too. As a matter of fact, Mr. Goldwin... You can put your glasses back on. Mr. Goldwin went out to lunch. But how could he leave? I was standing against the door. He jumped out the window. Out the window? Let me see. He didn't get away, boys. I caught him. Well, hold him. I'll be right down. First here is Basil Riesdale. As you listen to the chant of the tobacco auctioneer, remember, L-S-M-F-T. Lucky strike means fine tobacco. And fine tobacco is what counts in a cigarette. So listen to the words of a man who really knows fine tobacco, Mr. William Curran of Durham, North Carolina, for 24 years a tobacco auctioneer. He said... At more than a thousand auctions, I've seen the makers of Lucky Strike buy fine tobacco that's sweet and mild, chock-full of smoke and enjoyment. I've smoked Lucky's must-have. I've seen the makers of Lucky Strike buy fine tobacco that's sweet and mild, chock-full of smoke and enjoyment. I've smoked Lucky's myself for 23 years. Quote. Fine tobacco that's sweet and mild, chock-full of smoking enjoyment. Unquote. Yes, independent experts like Mr. Curran can see the makers of Lucky Strike consistently select and buy that fine, that light, that naturally mild tobacco. Fine, light, naturally mild tobacco. So remember. L-S-M-F-T. Lucky strike means fine tobacco. Year in, year out. L-S-M-F-T. Lucky strike means fine tobacco. And this fine Lucky Strike tobacco means real deep down smoking enjoyment for you. So smoke that smoke of fine tobacco. Lucky strike. So round. So firm. So fully packed. So free and easy on the draw. Ladies and gentlemen, I want to thank Mr. Samuel Goldman for appearing on my program. His next release will be the secret life of Walter Middy with my friend Danny Kaye. I also want to thank Hogy Carmichael, who appears with the courtesy of the makers of the Fifth Avenue Candy Bar. And ladies and gentlemen, be sure to listen in next Sunday as we haven't the slightest idea what we're going to do. Good night, folks. This is NBC, the National Broadcasting Company.