 So I've entitled this video why all relationships end or the reason why all relationships end. It's a strange one because you might think well you know relationships end for all sorts of reasons. Well now what you hear me out in this one this is the way I'm going to put this. In a relationship two people come together and first thing to point out about it is that each of them are human beings. Okay they each have emotional needs. Now I have to actually say that at the beginning because the way a lot of people talk about relationships nowadays it's almost like they're afraid to admit that okay particularly people who talk about co-dependency a lot but I'm going to get into that in different videos. It's almost like they're afraid to admit I'm a human being and I have needs. If I'm in a relationship I'm going to be in a relationship with another person who is a human being and has emotional needs. Okay so that's our starting point that's our premise to begin with. Both people have emotional needs. Like it or love it. You can deny it if you want but it's true. People have emotional needs. Now what is the purpose of a relationship? Well it's pretty simple. Pretty simple equation. If you're in a relationship with someone you have a full-time job and that job is to meet the emotional needs of your partner. Okay see them as sort of having this space within them for you to fill that with whatever it is that they need. People feel uncomfortable about talking about that sometimes. They don't like to think of themselves as having sort of a void but I'm not going to go into that too much but that's the way it is. You need to just fill that with love. Okay meet those emotional needs and that's to that other person that feels like love. Now there's something else okay. You will have emotional needs so what is your partner's role? Well their role is to meet your emotional needs. So think about that. If you're in a relationship with someone you have these emotional needs and by the way do you know what your emotional needs are? That's a very very serious question I'm asking you. I'm not going to talk about it today but if you can't tell me right now what your emotional needs are we need to talk about that at some point. Okay so if you're interested in that video maybe leave a comment below or something but hopefully we'll get on to that but anyway you do have emotional needs and your partner's role is to meet those emotional needs so it would be useful to know what they are but that's the equation okay. Each person meets the emotional needs of the other person. Now why do relationships end? Very simply those emotional needs are not being met enough so it's basically the degree to which those emotional needs are being met is too low. The person then doesn't feel enough connection in a relationship or doesn't feel love and when love goes away the relationship is finished. So in other words what I'm saying is why do all relationships end? Well love ends that's why people do stay together in relationships for all sorts of reasons. They might stay together in a relationship out of a sense of obligation or they might stay in a relationship because maybe for the children or something else like that right but no one ever gets divorced or separates if they both feel in love with each other. If there's both real love they do get divorced or they do separate if they have affection for each other. Affection isn't enough even if they respect each other the relationship may well end. If they don't have love it might it's going to end. It will end okay now they might as I said they might stay together for obligations or things like that but the relationship as such is not really there anymore it's over whether or not they they're practically together or or not emotionally there it's finished okay. So it's a pretty simple equation so if you want to find out how to have a relationship that works or if you want to find out how to keep a relationship working the way forward with that is to find out what are my partner's emotional needs and go about meeting them and also to find out what your own emotional needs are and communicate those needs clearly without any hesitation to your partner and in that whole process of meeting each other's emotional needs it's a messy process it's a process that needs to be refined it needs to change over time but always communication about how are we doing if that happens and you're both meeting each other's emotional needs what happens is feelings of intimacy feelings of connection grow feelings of love grow and the relationship will get stronger and stronger over time but as soon as it ends it starts to go down all sorts of problems kind of start to show up in the relationship frustration shows up because the emotional needs are not in me anymore and then you even go into another category which is destructive things or or manipulative strategies in order to now get my emotional needs met because they're not been met anymore and those are those those strategies are very very ineffective they don't work and they actually hurt love so it kind of only speeds up the process the decline of the relationship so something else you'll notice if you can find out what your partner's emotional needs are your self-confidence your self-esteem in the relationship really really does increase because now you you have a much deeper sense of okay and not only do I know what this person wants and how they can be happy I know I can do that I know I can give that to them if you don't know what their emotional needs are this is the big problem that happens we because sometimes people are not good at communicating their emotional needs for instance so if you don't know what their emotional needs are what we do is we sort of mind read or we guess what their emotional needs are or we project onto them what we imagine their emotional needs are because based on what our own emotional needs are so an example might be a female partner looks at her her boyfriend her husband and thinks that well he really wants affection but that's what she wants that's one of her emotional needs it may be one of his emotional needs but it may not be the primary emotional need so we do have emotional needs that are prioritized and the higher the emotion like the top emotional needs maybe top two or three emotional needs are they're not even up for negotiation they have to be met for that person so it's not something we can guess at we have to find out what they are through communication conversation intimate conversation but when you find out what those are and you realize okay this person is going is willing to tell me how to meet them even because people are very willing to tell you what to how to meet their emotional needs now you begin to feel a lot more secure in the relationship as I said your self-esteem goes up your self-confidence sense of security will all be improved by this now if identifying what the emotional needs are is a process it takes time it's not something that you're just going to tell each other because sometimes you have to discover yourself what your emotional needs are but this video is short for today I'm just talking about the equation and it is meet each other's emotional needs and the relationship will work fail to and it won't pretty simple let me know what you think guys and I'll talk to you next