 Why the narcissist wants you back? The narcissist will say and do some of the most hurtful things to you But then they will come back like nothing happened As though nothing was said They will just come back to you often without an apology Often without you mentioning anything they said or did to you and they will expect you to just forget about it They will expect you to welcome them back with open arms Why do they do this? Why do they devalue and discard us and then want to come back? The reason why the narcissist wants you back is because they remember that you are a good source of supply They remember that you are susceptible to them in a relation You let them get away with everything and they know that if they come back to you Things are likely to go back to how they used to be They will be able to gain influence and authority over you They will be able to get you to do what they want And that's a deciding factor in whether or not the narcissist will want you back They're not going to come back to someone who doesn't validate their false self and the illusion that they are trying to portray They're not going to come back to someone who isn't susceptible to them in a relation Because if you see through them, and you know what they're about There's a good chance that you will reject them and the narcissist is not going to put themselves in a position Where they might be humiliated They would rather keep their false sense of pride and arrogance And try their game with someone else Someone who lacks experience wisdom and judgment Someone who doesn't know what they're really about Rather than wasting their time and energy going back to someone who is probably just going to reject them Someone who is never going to take them seriously That's not good supply for a narcissist They need you to take them seriously They need you to believe in everything that's playing to you There are some situations where the narcissist will come back Even if they think you've moved on They see it as a challenge to get you back To get your interest again But once they've managed to get your attention They lose interest in you Because the challenge is over The narcissist is most interested in someone when they don't know if that person is interested in them When you display interest to a narcissist You instantly lose value in their eyes Because they see it as though if you were worth anything you wouldn't be interested in them You wouldn't want to be around them Which is why when you let them back in they see it as a whole past to destroy you They see it as though you are beneath them and that you deserve to be mistreated Because they know they're not worth anything That is why anything of value that comes around them. They just see it as something to play with And when they see that you're happy And you've moved on without them It just makes them want to come back and take away your happiness Because your happiness is a reminder of how miserable they are Misery loves company And when they bring you down to their level and make you miserable It comforts them It makes them feel like they're not alone The narcissist will often come back to you And act like they're sorry for what they did They will give you fake apologies, fake epiphanies, false promises, future faking Whatever they think will get you back They can seem so sincere as though they have genuine feelings as though they really care about you As though they're really going to change this time When a narcissist is acquiring their target, they will do whatever it takes They will say and do whatever they think will secure you Whatever they think will get you back But it's not because they love you It's not because they care about you Even though that's what they may tell you They're only giving you all of this attention now Because they're trying to secure you It's a challenge to the narcissist It feeds their ego to know that they can have you back But as soon as you give in Their ego is full They're satisfied They don't need anything more So now they don't have to manage your perception of them They don't have to manage how they come across to you And this is when the mass comes off And they say some of the most hurtful things to you Because they never really cared about you It was just a game to get you back And once they've got you They don't want you anymore Because now they know that they can get you It's not a challenge anymore And once they know that they can get you They don't value you Narcissists don't value anything that they already have Because they see it as though If they have it It can't be that valuable They know they're not deserving of anything great It's only when you walk away that they finally see your value It's only when you reject them That they realize just how great you are And that is why the narcissist cannot stand rejection Because it triggers them to reflect on how they really feel about themselves They're forced to experience these feelings that they would otherwise project onto you So if the narcissist tries to come back to you Just know that they don't really care about you They don't really love you They just see it as a game They just see it as a challenge They're only going to act nice until they get their supply And then you will see who and what they really are The narcissist knows what they really are Their game is to try to make you think there's something else Their game is to try to fool you You have to decide that you're not going to be their fool anymore You're not going to accept the crimes of attention that they are willing to give to you Because they're not going to be everything that you want them to be Even though they would love you to think that they will be They just want to control you They don't want you to be happy They don't want you to have a life that doesn't evolve then They want to be in control But you need to realize that you deserve more Imagine being with someone Who loves and cares for you Just as much as you love and care for the narcissist That's what you deserve Someone who will give you the same as what you're giving to them But you're not going to get that if you keep entertaining these narcissists If you keep allowing them to come back into your life Because you need to take the time to heal You need to make space for someone new to come in You are deserving of so much more The narcissist may have tricked you into thinking That you're not as great as you actually are They do this to control you They do this to stop you from thinking that you deserve more And it keeps you looking at yourself Rather than realizing that they're not about anything They're not bringing anything to the table When you have been around a narcissist long enough You may feel like you're no good You may feel like you're unattractive But the truth is Narcissist target people who are successful and attractive That's what they want It's just that when they come around those people They take everything good about them And it can take time for you to rebuild everything that you once had The narcissist wants you back Because they remember you were a good source of supply They want to control you They don't want to see you being happy They don't want you to have a life without them They're just trying to control you The narcissist is never happy They are not capable of experiencing real happiness Everything they do is just perception management It's an orchestration They know how to plan and coordinate the elements of a situation To reduce the desired effect But really, they're miserable They're so focused on problems and difficulties They make a drama out of everything To the point where they can never be happy They cannot manage or deal with their emotions Because they're emotionally underdeveloped And they don't work on their emotional development Because they have to see it as though there's nothing wrong with them As though they don't need to work in anything And that is why they stay the same for the rest of their lives Nothing ever changes The narcissist just goes around projecting their insecurities Under someone else Shifting the blame onto them Never dealing with their own issues or problems And that is why when they leave They will often enforce flying monkeys And start a smear campaign against you If you want to know how they're going to treat you After the discard Just remember what they told you about their ex When the narcissist is loved by when a new source They will almost always bring up something about their ex They will say that they were crazy Or they did something to them Whatever they said Is most likely what they're going to be saying about you When it's finally over They never grow or develop They just point the finger at someone else And that is why they're underdeveloped And that is why they're emotionally underdeveloped That is why they have difficulty regulating their emotions That is why they get so worked up And exaggerate the importance of minor problems or incidents Because they've never taken accountability For anything in their lives They've never given themselves the opportunity To develop emotionally Which is why they remain at the emotional state of a child Which is why they're so immature They show an emotional development Appropriate to someone of a much younger age So when the narcissist wants you back It's not because they want to make things right It's not because they care about you They just want supply They just want to control you They don't like it that you're happy They don't like to see you live in your life without them And they're probably bored of whoever else they were dealing with And that's why they want to come back It's not because they love or care for you Their main objective is to prop up their false self To sustain their belief in their false self And the only reason they come around you Is because you help them to do that They come around you again Because they want you to keep doing that To keep the fantasy alive And when you leave They're just going to find someone else to do it They're just going to find someone else To validate their false reality But even then That person is just a mirror They're just reflecting something back To the narcissist The narcissist just lives in their own world With a population of one Thank you for watching I hope this video has an interview Please like, comment, share and subscribe Click the bell icon to receive notifications For my future videos Check out the new Narc Survival website At www.narcsurvival.uk Where you can read my blog posts About coaching sessions And join a support forum If you were elected tonight My PayPal link is in the video description Coaching inquiries You can email me at coachingatnarcsurvival.uk Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon