 Okay, so are you in a healthy relationship? So a lot of the things that we talk about here on this channel are about unhealthy relationships, men not seeing your value, you not seeing your own value, red flags and relationships and stuff like that. But how do you know if you're actually in a good relationship, a relationship that you should value and treasure and be proud of? Today I'm going to share with you seven signs that you're in a good relationship. Hi, my name is Matthew Coast and welcome to Commitment Connection. If you're new here, make sure you subscribe and if you like what I do, make sure you go and check out the foreverwomanformula.com. That's where my program is. You can go and get it there for free if you want to get into a relationship where you're valued and seen and cherished. So what are some signs that you're in a healthy relationship? Sign number one is that he believes in you and he supports you. So maybe it doesn't really matter what you're into, what you're passionate about. Maybe you're into underwater basket weaving or maybe you're into studying witchcraft or you spend all your time balancing rocks on one another. It doesn't really matter because he believes in and supports you in your passions and in your hobbies in life. So whatever you're doing, whatever you care about, whatever you're creating in this world, he supports it. Number two, oh and by the way, if you're here with us right now, make sure that you say hi in the chat and let us know where in the world you are watching this from. It's cool to see women all over the world watching our live streams here. So number two is that you can always talk to him. So there's no need to walk on eggshells about anything. You can confess any crazy thing that you have inside of your head and he's not only okay with it, but he actually encourages all your craziness to come out and chat with him, right? So and it's, and you know, if we're to be serious here, even if you bring up like a challenge or something that's going on with you or something that's a big deal about your relationship or a challenge you're having with him or something like that, he doesn't freak out about it. He doesn't get angry. He doesn't, you know, do kind of crazy things and get all wild. He tries to keep the peace and he keeps kind of a level head and he allows you to talk and express yourself and what's going on with you. Number three, you are happy on your own and you're happy with him. So you're not dependent on him for your happiness. He's not dependent on you for his happiness. And at the same time, you're happy when you're with him. So he doesn't bring you down. He enhances your life and you don't bring him down. He and you enhance his life. And so you're, you're great alone. You're great by yourselves, but you're even better together. And there's kind of one thing out there about these like people kind of talk about like healing and stuff like that. And, you know, kind of being in a space where you're healed before you get into a relationship. And there's a lot of truth behind that. But one thing I also want to mention is that sometimes you don't need to completely heal everything. Some people get kind of focused on like, I'm not ready yet. I'm not ready yet because I need to heal and I need to do all these different things and and to a certain extent that can be true if you keep getting into patterns of bad relationships. But, you know, at a certain point, it's not like you don't need perfectionism when it comes to kind of healing yourself and figuring that kind of part of your life out, because we all have issues. We all have challenges. We all have things that that are hurt from our past and our lives. And so it's better not to get too caught up in that, then try to look for perfection. If you get what I'm talking about here, say, I get it in the chat. If you don't get what I'm talking about, ask a question. I'm going to be going over question and answer here at the end. So if you have any questions about anything, whether it's your situation or whether it's what I'm talking about, feel free to ask it in the chat. All right. Number four, when you fight, you try to negotiate not to beat the other person. So you you don't let anybody tell you differently. Fights are pretty normal. It's I've never really seen a relationship where there aren't arguments. There aren't at least little fights and stuff that go on between two people. Anytime you have two people that come together from different backgrounds, which hopefully are you guys, hopefully you're coming from some kind of a different background, right? You're not from the same family. Anytime that kind of stuff happens, there tends to be fights, right? Because there's clashes and values. There's clashes and ideals. And so the best scenario is that you work for a win for both of you. And at the very least, you guys compromise for each other. And maybe, you know, you take the win this time or maybe he takes the win this time. And there's kind of this thing where you're both looking out for each other, right? You both care about each other and you both want each other to win. And so it's not kind of this game of one person is constantly taking one person's always trying to prove that they're right. One person's always trying to win. There's a give and take and you both care about each other and you both want to see each other be happy and win and be fulfilled. All right, number five is it's never about potential or a feeling. It's about appreciating each other right now. So you aren't waiting for that person to change their mind about an issue that it's really important, right? It's like there was a woman in our community the other day who brought up this thing where she's like, oh yeah, this guy that I've been seeing, like he's the perfect man. He's so perfect, except, right? And that's where it always usually blows up where there's like a but or an except or, you know, something there that's wrong. And it's like, he doesn't want to have children and I want to have children, which is it's, you know, if you're if she's really stuck on that idea, it's kind of a it's a huge deal, right? So she's really stuck on the fact that she wants to have another kid because she already has one if she wants to have another kid. And she, you know, it's it's going to be a problem with this guy because it's for him, you know, and I can tell you for most men, if they're like, hey, you know, he's in his forties or whatever and he hasn't had children yet and he's like, I don't want to have kids. The likelihood that he's going to change his mind and want kids is really small, right? He's probably figured out that he doesn't want kids by this point in his life. And so it's one of those things where it's like, you know, you aren't you aren't waiting for them to change their mind. You're not waiting for them to be a different person than who they are. You don't think that they'd be perfect only if and you aren't in the relationship just because you get a certain feeling out of it, right? I talked to some women and they're like, oh, you know, I'm in this relationship because I'm in love because, you know, whatever, right? And they're like, and you're like, well, it's an abusive relationship. Or, well, you guys are totally different or, you know, there's huge red flags or, you know, your values are completely misaligned or whatever, right? And that can be a huge problem. And so you're not just doing it just because you have this feeling, right? We have a heart and we have a head and we use both of them, right? That's the that's the healthiest way. Like there's a lot of people that are kind of in the personal growth movement. You'll hear things about people being like, don't listen to the head. It's stupid or whatever, right? Don't listen to your mind. It's dumb and stuff like that. I've heard that all the time or just listen to your heart and just follow your heart. Well, you should listen to your heart and you should think as well, right? Those are it's they're both part of us for a reason and they're both healthy things to use in any situation, especially in a relationship. And so you want to think and you want to feel and both of them are very important. And so basically what we're talking about here is appreciating each other for who you are right now, right? Him for who he is as a man. And, you know, can you respect him? Can you be happy about who he is and can you be proud that you're with him? And that's that's what we're talking about for right now, for who he is right now as a man, not for who he might be in the future. Number six is you trust each other completely. So you're trying not you're trying to hide. You're not trying to hide things with each other because you're afraid of what they will do if you tell the truth, right? You're not freaking out and and getting all jealous about, you know, what he was doing or where he was going or who he was hanging out with or any of that kind of stuff and you trust each other and talk to each other openly and honestly about what's going on with both of you. Now, I do want to throw a caveat there, right? You don't want to ignore red flags, right? Like if a guy's doing a bunch of crazy stuff and you're just like, oh, no, I'm just going to trust him and pretend like, you know, nothing's going on there. You don't want to do that either. You know, you want to look and make sure that you're being smart, right? This is when we talk about like using your head. You want to be smart, but at the same time, you know, you guys have built and earned trust with each other through time and you've created a bond with each other where you can just trust each other and you're like, look, you know, I trust him. You know, he's like, Hey, I trust her to go out and do things and live life. And I'm not worried about them cheating. I'm not worried about them doing shady things. I'm not worried about whatever because I trust them. Number seven is you are still kind to each other, even when you're both fighting. So it hurts you to hurt your partner and it hurts your partner to hurt you. So you say sorry to each other when you're out of line. You say please and thank you to each other. You try to look from each other's perspectives and it warms your heart to treat each other well and see your partner is happy and taking care of because you both really care about each other. And that's that is a healthy relationship. So I'm going to go over the seven of these again and then excuse me, we're going to do question and answer. So if you have any questions, make sure you put them in the chat and we will go over them in a second. So again, I just wanted to mention if you are really serious about getting into a committed, lasting relationship where a man sees you and loves you and really appreciates and cherishes you, make sure you go to the foreverwomanformulant.com and pick up a copy of my program there for free. OK, so the seven signs are one, he believes in you and trusts and supports you or he believes in you and supports you. Two is you can always talk to him. Three is you are happy on your own and you're happy with him. Four is when you fight, you try to negotiate not to beat the other person. Five is it's never about potential or a feeling. It's about appreciating each other right now. Six is you trust each other completely. And seven is you are still kind to each other, even when you are both fighting. OK, so let's see if you have any questions, make sure you put them in the chat. We are going to go over what everybody's talking about today. So hello, hello, hello. I don't know where Hattiesburg is. Julie Tree says, hi, Matt, you are looking so handsome today. Well, thank you. I appreciate that, Julie Tree. Romania, cool. Riyad says, love your videos from South Africa. Thank you, I appreciate it. Girl on the tool says Australia Gold Coast. That's awesome. I'm going to be there in a couple of months. Gold Coast, I will be in the Gold Coast. Stephanie says, hello, so happy I am able to see you. Well, I'm so happy that you're able to see me. Thanks for being here, Stephanie. I appreciate it. Happy you're here. So Linda says, this is such a great topic. Well, I'm glad you like this topic. All right. Do we have any questions here? I know we've got some questions here. Rebecca says, I'm just tired of in and out relationship. I don't know what to do. You're in and out of a relationship. Can you give us more details, Rebecca? I'd love to talk to you about it. Linda says, blessings to your country. Which country is my country, USA? I'm from the USA. I'm in Poland at the moment, by the way. Someone says, hey, dude, I'm a female med student. I have, hey, dude, I have no time to go out and meet men. And majority of my circle are residents and doctors who never have time to meet or date or spend chilling. I'm lonely hell. OK, well, what do you like? One of the things that you might want to think about if you're just lonely and you're like, hey, I don't have, I mean, you can make friends. You know, if you're worried about like, hey, I don't have time to go out and meet men. You know, I know what that's like to be so busy that you're doing stuff and you don't have time for anything else. You know, when I was first kind of building this business, I was I was kind of in that spot where I was just like so busy with this that it was like I don't have time to really make friends and go out and talk to people and be in a relationship necessarily. And so it but it's one of those things where it's like, you know, you can make friends, you you can kind of build connections, right? You can just connect with different people like your family, your friends that you've had in the past. If you don't have any friends now, I'm guessing you do have some friends, you know, just connect with them, build, build an abundance of connection, right? If you have to whenever you do have free time, you know, reach out to people and go to go to places where you can connect, find out different things that you like to connect with, right? Some people like to connect with nature. Some people like to connect with animals and that that stops them from feeling lonely. And if if all of those things don't stop you from feeling lonely, what you might want to do is kind of look deeper inside and say, what is it that makes me feel lonely? Even though I can still reach out and talk to people, I can still, you know, do all these things. And I know that a lot of people want to have like a like a real relationship, right? Because they feel like, you know, they want that connection. They want that bond. And a lot of times when you're coming from that space where you're just like, oh, you know, like I need, I need, I'm attached to this thing. It can be really unhealthy and you can end up settling, getting into a situation that's not particularly healthy because you're so desperate to get into any kind of a situation with somebody. And so it's important that you get into this thing that I call abundance, right? Where you have an abundance of connection, you know, even if it's platonic non-romantic connection with people and animals and nature and just regular friends, because it it'll make it so that you're not kind of clinging and so that you're not just taking anything that comes your way and that you can actually think when somebody does come and you're not just so pulled to him from kind of being in this space of desperation. And so that that's what I would, that's what I would say about that one. I hope that answers your question, Selma. Wagon Dorf. The old Wagon Dorf is here. I believe both people have their lives as a couple, but it's extremely imperative that they each have their own activities they do to be an individual as well. Yeah, absolutely. That's very, very important. Hell's Bell says we should listen to our gut much more. Yeah, I mean, I think it's important to listen to your gut. I think it's also important to listen to your head. I think it's important to recognize when your kind of emotions are where you're coming from with your emotions, like kind of pulling yourself out right and saying, OK, am I coming right now from a place of wholeness and strength? Right? Am I coming from my strongest self when I'm feeling these things? Or am I coming from a place of feeling like I'm lacking, like I need something, like I'm desperate, you know, or and to do it with your mind as well, right? Like, are you thinking these things because you're trying to save yourself from getting hurt again? Right? And so you've got this wall up with your mind where you're like, oh, I'm not going to get hurt and so on. I'm in these kind of habits of doing things that are protecting me, but not necessarily always serving me in situations where I could be getting into a relationship or I could be getting into friendships and in different things like that. And so I do think it's very important to listen to your gut. But I also think it's important to listen to your mind. And I also think it's important to think about and pull yourself out of that and figure out where you're where you're coming from from your gut and where you're coming from from your mind that way you're not doing things because you're coming from this bad space and it's actually hurting you in the long run. I hope that I totally I totally went off on a tangent there. So Karen says, good on your own, better together, this will be my new mantra. I like that. Good on your own, better together. Yeah, it sounds like a good, good slogan for like a a dating website or something like that. So Vanessa says, dating a guy since July, he disappeared from October to November, then he was back. He was updating his Tinder. And when I updated mine, he sent me a text that I should have told him. I was not happy. I told and then it gets cut off, Vanessa. Sorry, you're going to have to you're going to have to put more in another spot for me to know what you're talking about here. Rachel said had the seven, but it still didn't work out. Yeah, I mean, you know, sometimes things don't work out, right? Sometimes you guys might end up growing apart or, you know, sometimes somebody might go back into old negative habits that they had. And next thing you know, they're doing something stupid or something that doesn't serve them or doesn't serve the relationship. And so, you know, it's one of those things like there's a lot of stuff out there about like growing and personal growth and development and all that kind of stuff. And it's, you know, it's it's not always it's not always a cure all, right? There's nothing that's ever a cure all. There's nothing ever that's totally certain in life, right? The only real certainty that you can have is within yourself. The only real certainty you can have is within who you are as a human being. And if you're trying to get like this certainty outside of you or being like, you know, OK, you know, Matt said these things, right? Because it's one of those things, right? We have the forever woman program and we have a lot of women that go through this program and they do great things and they end up getting into great relationships and, you know, they run off and get married and leave our community and all that kind of stuff and we're all sad about it. And we're like, you know, like we wish you'd stay and chat more about what's going on in your relationship. And then we have women who who don't, right, who don't really get anywhere with it because they still have other things going on in their minds, right? And and they have other blocks that are up, which we're going to be working on here soon. We're going to be doing a lot more stuff about how to heal your heart. And and I'm going to be covering a whole bunch of other subjects that are incredibly important from self-love to self-valuing and a whole bunch of other things that that are kind of cool and exciting. And we'll get to that soon. So I don't know. Yeah, I mean, you can have all seven of these and it won't work out. That's that's the tangent I'm running off of. Karen says expressing yourself and he hears you. I get it. Awesome. Brenda says, how do you get in the chat? You're in the chat, Brenda. You're in the chat. Right now, you're in the chat. Julia says, I don't know how he feels about me after eight months. He don't communicate about his feelings. Please help. Well, that's a huge red flag, Julia. If he's not community, I mean, eight months, you guys have been seeing each other for eight months and he hasn't communicated anything about his feelings. You know, that that's a huge red flag. I mean, how long are you going to go in a relationship and he's not even communicating what's going on with him and how he feels about you or the situation? I mean, tell us more about this situation, Julia. I'd love I'd love to hear more about it. Oh, Vanessa, Vanessa is finishing her sentence from earlier. She says him that I all right, let's go up to the top. OK, so I told him, oh, here we go. I told him that I updated mine because I saw him. I saw he was updating his. We were supposed to see each other after that. And he canceled and never texted me back. What should I do or text? It's about a week without talking. You should, number one, follow my system, right? Go to the forever woman formula dot com. Watch the video over there and pick up a copy of my system. The only reason that you're talking like this right now, Vanessa, is because you are not using my system. There's there's a big difference between the women who use my system and the women who don't. And you can always tell the difference because women who use my system are like, they're like, yeah, you know, I have these different guys who are kind of coming towards me and pursuing me. And this one guy like has already asked me to marry him. And we've only known each other for a week, right? And the women that aren't using my system are like, there's this one guy, right, and he's doing some crazy stuff and he's not talking to me and he's blocked me and how do I deal with that? Right. And so you want to be in a powerful position. You want to be in a position of power. When I talk about a position of power, what that means is power is something where you what power is, is the position that you're in that allows you to get the things that you want to have. Right. And so when you're in a position of power, you're in a position where you can get the things that you want to have much more easily. And if you're using my system and you put yourself in a position of power, not only will this not matter to you at all, right? Because right now you're like, OK, we went on this date, like or whatever. You know, we hung out. What was it? You guys hung out. You dated a guy in July and then he disappeared from October to November. And then he was updating his tinder, right? You guys aren't even off of Tinder. You're communicating through Tinder, right? Which is like you you were dating from July. July, June, July, September, October. I mean, that was a couple months, right? You guys were dating a couple months and you never got off of Tinder. You never like exchanged phone numbers or like got each other's contact information off of Tinder and then he disappeared and then he came back. And now he's being flaky. I mean, it's one of those things where it's like, you know, let's just be real. He's just not that into you. He just doesn't like you that much. He doesn't care that much. And you're over here like, oh, what am I going to do about him? And he's doing something else and hanging out with other people and living his own life. And that's what you should be doing, too. And if you were using my system, you'd be in that position where you'd totally forget about him because you'd have other guys that were competing for your attention and time and if he wants your attention and time, he needs to step up and do something so that you know that he's actually interested in you. And since he's not, you know that he's not. So that's what I have to say about that. Brenda says, OK, thank you. I wasn't sure. Wagendorf says, is it out of line to ask them about their number of partners in the past? Well, just realize that that is going to end up coming back at you. If you ask them, I mean, you can ask somebody, whatever you want to ask somebody. You know, I wouldn't necessarily recommend it. You know, if if you're it depends on what you're worried about, right? So you should think about why you want to ask that question. Do you want to ask that question because you're just curious? If you're just curious, I mean, I probably wouldn't ask that question just because it's kind of one of those things where it's like, I don't know, does it really matter? You could ask them if you wanted to. If you're worried about it because you're worried about the person having like a disease or something like that, then the answer is that you should probably be more concerned about having that conversation than having a conversation about how many partners he's had in the past. If you're worried about him from a standpoint of is he a player or does he you know, like what is his you know, like how does he treat women or something like that? There's better ways to kind of find that out, right? It's better to kind of look for clues in that regard because, you know, most people tend to lie about the number of partners they've had in the past because it's kind of a weird question, especially if you're in the West, right? If you're in like the United States or something, it like people out there are just hooking up all over the place. And so it's become this weird thing. And some people are kind of in this attitude of I don't care. There's a lot of people that are really concerned about it because guys generally tend to want to be in relationships with women who have a low number count, women tend to care a lot less. But it's it's still kind of a weird thing to ask somebody. And so what my suggestion is, is that you figure out why you care about knowing the answer to that question and then figure out whether that's the actual question that you want to ask or that there's something that's more important to you that you should be communicating or finding out or learning about. Linda says, I met Australia, darling, but blessings to the U.S. Well, thank you. I appreciate blessings to the U.S. And I appreciate blessings to Australia right now as well, because you guys definitely need some blessings down there with all the fires and stuff that you guys have going on. Shelby says, Matt, I've lost a few guys so far after they talked about wanting to date exclusively before we even met or after second date. They think I'm not 100 percent focused on them. I'm playing the field. Do you have advice how to explain it when asked point blank? Yeah, I mean, I'd say I don't even know you. That's what I would say. If you if somebody's asking you to be exclusive before you've even met, it's like, like, I don't know who you are. Why would I be exclusive with you? I mean, it's a it's kind of a weird red flag, right? Because it's like, OK, so you want to be exclusive with me, but we've never even met yet. Like that's a little weird, right? Like, isn't that I mean, you might just want to ask. Like, I mean, because I, you know, I couldn't imagine that that situation, right? Somebody being like, hey, you know, let's let's get exclusive. We haven't ever met before, but I'm pretty sure we should be exclusive together, right? Like, doesn't that I mean, doesn't that like kind of raise a red flag, you know, you're like, wait a second, there's something weird going on here. My antenna, my antennae are are detecting some some weirdness. There's some strangeness coming out from this man over here who wants to be exclusive with me. Yeah, I mean, I'd be a little concerned about that. I mean, there could be a bunch of different things going on there. It could be one incredibly controlling behavior. Number two, it could come from a place of desperation. Number three, they might just be wanting to skip the whole dating process altogether, which isn't that big of a deal, because I mean, let's just be honest, most people hate dating these days, especially in the the age of the hookup culture. So I mean, it's one of those things where it's like, yeah, you know, if I were you, I would just be like, look, I don't know you that well, like you seem like a really nice guy. You know, if if we get along really great, this is what you want to say, right, because this is kind of a boundary thing. So this is what you want to say. You want to say, look, you seem like a really nice guy. And, you know, if we get along really great together, I'd love to be exclusive with you, but it takes me a little bit of time to get to know somebody. And so, you know, at some point, I would absolutely love to be exclusive with you if we end up meeting together and we really like each other. And we decide that we're great for each other. I think it would be great to be in an exclusive situation, but we just aren't there yet, you know, because we haven't even met. I don't know, it's so weird, such a weird thing. You know, and it's funny, it's funny hearing this from you too, because it's like, you know, how many women out there are talking about like men don't want anything, you know, they just want to hook up and leave. And you're like talking about all these guys that want to be exclusive with you and haven't even met you yet or haven't even been on a second date or whatever, don't even really know you that well. It's kind of interesting, right? It's kind of interesting. The difference, the difference. Donna says, I can't seem to get away from guys who need attention or needs to look towards other women going behind my back and breaking that trust. How do I deal with my trust and trying to let go? So I can't get away from guys who need attention or needs to look towards other women going behind my back and breaking that trust. Well, like I'm not sure what the scenario is, Donna. You'd have to tell me more about this specific scenario. It sounds like you probably do have some trust issues and you might want to figure out like what's going on there and why you have those trust issues and kind of get to the kind of the pattern or the insecurity or kind of the rules that you have about your values and why you're kind of this way where you feel like you can't really trust anybody. And you'll probably need to do some healing work around that and some shifting of your values so that you see things a little bit differently. You know, there's there's usually you know, there's usually when people have trust issues, it's because they you know, they've been hurt in the past. And once you've kind of let go of things from your past and come to this place where you feel like you're a really valuable and amazing and awesome woman who deserves to have a guy who fully trusts her or fully is committed to her, you know, you can kind of get to this space where you let go of these jealousy things and your trust issue things. And you're like, yeah, you know what? I've got trust issues, even if it doesn't fully go away. You can still be like, look, I've got these trust issues, but I can just kind of let go and feel at peace with myself, which is usually what the healing work will help you get to where you're just like, OK, you know, like, yeah, I have trust issues, but I'm going to trust. I'm going to trust myself because I I know that I can trust myself. I'm going to trust my heart. I'm going to trust my gut. I'm going to trust my mind to do the right thing and to see the right things and to know whether the situation I'm in is actually a bad situation or whether it's something that I'm just freaking out about because I have been hurt in the past. And so you want to do that and kind of check that out and figure that out for yourself. So Rachel says, is there ever a good time to step more into your masculine? Well, yeah, I mean, there's tons of good times to step into your masculine. A good time to step into your masculine is if you're in a job where it requires that you step into your masculine, there's times to step into your masculine. If you. You know, if you need it, right, in certain situations where you're alone and you need to protect yourself or or whatever, right, there's a lot of times where you can step into your masculine and it's not a big deal. Like it's one of those things where people in this industry, a lot of times we talk about like getting into your feminine energy and being feminine and connecting kind of with your feminine core because most of the women are coming from a masculine, like a masculine mask, right? They have a mask over themselves where they are acting masculine, not because they truly are masculine, but because they've either been taught from a young age that they should be masculine or they've been shamed into being masculine because they've been told, especially in the West right now, women are being told that being feminine is stupid and ugly and pathetic and weak and all kinds of stuff like that. And so a lot of women kind of switch over to this masculine mask just to kind of get around in the world and not feel like they're being attacked or shamed by kind of the political correctness police in the West or there's other times that women step into their masculine if they've been abused when their children or if they have kind of it's usually yeah, it's usually if they've been hurt when their children that a lot of times they'll put on a masculine mask in order to protect themselves and be stronger. And so, you know, it's not necessarily bad to be in your masculine at times in a lot of scenarios and different situations. What we're talking more about is being in your feminine when you're interacting and attracting a guy and connecting with a masculine man. And so, you know, you mentioned to make the peace. I'm not sure exactly what you're talking about, but there's there are definitely a lot of scenarios where being in your masculine can be healthy and helpful. Julie says, Julianne says, I have the same problem as Shelby. OK, Sally says, hi, Matt. I'm an older woman dating a younger man who is 15 years younger. How can I nurture this in a positive mindset? I'm not sure what you're talking about, Sally, about nurturing this in a positive mindset. Like, are you are do you have a negative mindset? Like, what what makes you feel like you can't nurture this in a positive mindset? Like, what what's going on there that that's freaking you out? Are you worried that you're with a guy who's that much younger than you? And so you're afraid that he's not really going to be that interested in you or he doesn't think that you're beautiful or something? You have to tell us a little bit more about what you're talking about so that we can we can get to the we can get to the bottom of things. I want to get to the bottom of things here, Sally. So tell us what is going what is what is going on with you, Sally, so that I can I can bring part of my wisdom and give it forth to you? All right, Vanessa says he said he really like when we are together and want things continue. And when I asked him if we were meeting last Saturday, he said, yes, if you don't have a tender date. Yeah, Vanessa, we already talked about this. My suggestion is that you follow my system and and just let go of this dude and lean back and if he wants to pursue you and pursue something with you, then let him do that. And if he doesn't, then let him do that. And while he's doing that, build up your abundance of options, build up your abundance of connection and start dating and seeing other guys so that you can get into a relationship where you're actually pursued and valued and cherished and somebody wants to treat you like the amazing woman that you are and that you deserve to be treated like. That's my suggestion. Stop. Stop overthinking this dude and stop trying to figure out what's going on with him and let him be and instead lean back. Karen says, start to date a man, X to a lady in our development talk to her is said fine over. He wait for a month came. You know, I have no idea what you just wrote here, Karen. Start to date a man X to a lady in our development talk to her is fine said over. He wait for a month came visit every time poll. What are you? I'm sorry. I don't have any idea what you're saying, Karen. You're going to have to rephrase that. TikTok says I'm dating since last September. And when we have some kind of misunderstanding or sometimes things are just apparent that we are going to end. But when I say to him that does mean you're going to leave me. Is there a question in there? Is there a question in there, TikTok? Rachel says, thanks for responding. I get what you're saying. Great. Rieslund says, I feel like all these dating apps are making it way easier for people to get into frivolous, high volume, sleeping around. No commitments. That's true. It is, it is. And it's on both sides, right? It's on both sides with men and women. And which is one of the reasons I suggest that you don't do that. I do not, I do not suggest that you sleep or I suggest you do not sleep around as a woman. And, you know, honestly, I suggest that you meet people in person. That's the best way to meet people is to meet people out in the real world because you will meet people that you will not meet on these apps in the real world. And they're usually higher quality people, you know, from your standpoint, right? Because you in on the on the dating apps world, you have to weed through the sea of dudes that are like in this weird space in their lives where they're just looking to hook up and they don't care about nothing. And, you know, they're sending out mass messages to 300 women on the app, you know, just trying to figure out how they can get to hooking up with them as quickly as possible. And so my suggestion is that you meet people in the real world. You go out, you start flirting with men, talking with men, being receptive and open to men approaching you and going to high traffic kind of areas where you can hang out and you can meet men. That's my suggestion and that, yeah, absolutely. Dating apps are making it easier. You know, there's a lot of other things that are making it easier, including social media in general and just all kinds of things, right? But it's not it's not that it's not that it's pulling things out of people that weren't there. People are just doing things and they're they're acting on the stuff that's already inside of them, right? There are insecurities in their feelings like they want to, you know, do all these things or get all this variety or whatever it is. And so it's not necessarily, you know, it's just showing who people are really more than anything, which is a good and a bad thing, depending on how you look at it. Amelia says, Matthew, your chat is slow because I could see all Vanessa's three text sections. OK, could be, could be. I'm not sure how the internet is here at this place that I'm at. When I was checking it the other day, it was like up and down and up and down and fast and slow and all that kind of stuff. So I don't know, just got to deal with it. Just got to deal with it. CJ says I'm in an LDR more than one year. Wow. We are exclusive just just so everybody knows. Most long distance relationships don't last more than four or five months. So the average long distance relationship doesn't make it to the five month point. So congratulations, CJ, on making it to the one year mark. We are exclusive, but he can't seem to trust me, always bringing up the past about people I was chatting with on the site before we became serious. He wants my attention every day to chat. Yeah, I mean, it's, you know, basically, that's his insecurities that are coming out. And, you know, that's you know, what you're going to have to realize is that's that's him. That's who he is. That's where he's at in his life. And if that's not something that you're OK with, you know, two things, one, you should have a chat with him. And you should sit him down and just be like, look, babe, I love you. I'm not cheating on you. I'm not trying to do anything to hurt our relationship. I'm not, you know, getting into weird situations. I'm not putting us in jeopardy. You know, I want us to work out. I want everything to work out. And I need you to kind of chill out and relax a little bit about that and just ask him how he feels about it and see what he has to say about it. And, you know, if you have a conversation with him like that, where he's like freaking out all the time because you're not in conversation with him every single day and, you know, after having a conversation with him like that, where you should where you speak to him, you know, clearly in his eyes and let him know that you're committed to this and that you're really interested in this and in asking how he feels about that and letting him know how you feel might might even be better. Instead of saying like, I need you to chill out or whatever, just to be like, you know, for me, it kind of feels like, you know, you're smothering me right now and and I need a little bit more space and kind of talking to him like that. And if after having that conversation, it nothing changes from the way that he acts, what you're going to have to realize is that that's where he is right now. And if he's working on his own personal growth and development, that could end up changing in the future. And if he's not working on his own personal growth and development, that's not going to change in the future. And so you have to decide whether that's something that you can live with and that you're okay with and you're not kind of looking at him for his potential and who he could be, but loving him fully and really right now with who he is and what's going on with him. I hope that makes sense, CJ. Julia says, I'm very confused. We get along so well dating for eight months. If he ever start talking about my felling, my I'm guessing you're saying feelings and how much I like him and care for him. He ignores me, never wants to talk about his feelings. I don't know what to do anymore. I think he wants out help. Yeah, I mean, if I were you, I would start leaning back, Julia, and just relax, lean back, give him some space. You know, usually what ends up happening. The reason why like if you were dating earlier and you guys had a lot of passion and a lot of things going on in your relationship and that passion and things have kind of died like that passion is no longer there. He's not, you know, he's kind of ignoring you. He's doing all that kind of stuff. It's probably a reflection of, you know, how he's feeling. It's it's definitely a reflection of how he's feeling in the moment. And usually that kind of thing happens because of a lack of polarity. And so what you need to do is you need to lean back. You need to give him some space. You need to start building up your abundance of connection. You need to start creating and building your own life so that you're not like clinging onto him and smothering him. And then you give him that space and you see kind of what happens when he's given that space to pursue you and chase you and come after you again. And if he doesn't start pursuing you and chasing you and coming after you again, then you know what's going on and you can then either try to kind of heal and repair things where they're at or you can kind of decide that what's going on isn't working for the two of you anymore and that you want to have out of it. But you got to you got to give him that space and you got to give him that chance to kind of step up and start pursuing you. Because if you start feeling like what you're feeling right now where you're like, Hey, I'm telling I keep telling him how I feel, you know, and I tell him how much I love and care for him. And he just ignores me and never wants to talk about it. Well, what it sounds like to me is that you're like, you know, telling him these things with these expectations and you're pushing it on him and you're becoming more and more in love and you're, you know, it kind of feels like this desperation vibe to me. And so what you need to do is you need to lean back and you need to give him some space and you need to create kind of that space for him to kind of figure out what's going on and for him to get into his emotions and to miss you. Right. It's one of those things like if you're all over him and you're telling him all these things and you're always telling him you love him and he's not telling you anything back, right? You're it's what it sounds like to me. You know, it could be my hallucination. I don't know because I only have a certain amount of information here. But what it sounds like to me is that you're kind of closing the gap on what's going on on the the space that you have. And you might even be pursuing him. You know, you're pushing things forward. You have expectations around what's going to happen. And you really need to just pull back and lean back and let him come to you and let him start pursuing you and let him start missing you. Because if there's not that space there, he's not going to miss you. You can't grow and build that that kind of flame of desire and love. Like think about love like a like building a fire, right? And if he's emotionally unavailable, it might not end up happening. But the way that you kind of build love with somebody is they have to have some space, they have to have some space from you. And so it's like building a fire, right? Like if you're building a fire and you just throw a bunch of logs on there, even though you're really meaning well, because you're like, oh, yeah, logs, you know, they fire gets built through logs. And so you throw a bunch of logs on and what ends up happening is it smothers the fire instead of building it, right? And then you're just sitting around going, why is the fire smothered? I threw logs on it, right? Well, when you're first building a fire, you only need to put twigs in there. And then you have to give it some some oxygen. You have to give it some space. And then you put a little bit of a log and you put a little bit of a log, you know, and then the sticks get bigger and bigger until they're, you know, big logs and eventually you have a raging fire where you can throw logs on there and it's really difficult to smother. And so that's kind of the metaphor that you need to think of when you're kind of growing the love that you have together. I mean, eight months is a really long time to be together and for him to never tell you how he feels and what's going on with you. And so it could be a big red flag, you know, and it could be that he just needs space. And so it's really difficult for me to know without more information, but you should definitely be leaning back no matter what. And you should definitely kind of be looking for signs, whether he's ever, you know, I mean, at eight months, if he's never ever told you that he's even interested or he loves you or any of that kind of stuff, that's, you know, that should be very concerning for you. And it should be a giant red flag that you want to think about a lot. OK, so what else do we have here? Aaron says, I accidentally hurt my this guy's ego big time through a text and he is super upset with me. I did apologize to him because I did not mean to. But what else can I do to help mend what I said? You don't need to do anything else to help mend what you said, right? Like one of the mistakes that a lot of women make is they'll do something where they perceive that they screwed things up. And then they try to start doing all these things to fix things and it only makes things worse. And so if you're like, hey, I'm sorry, I screwed, you know, I screwed up like I didn't mean to send you that. That's all you really need to do, right? Unless it was like really messed up, unless you said something really messed up. And then, you know, you might have to like want to say something to him in person. So it kind of depends on, you know, how long you've been seeing each other, you know, but my suggestion is that you don't do anything else to help mend the situation. You already apologized and that's totally enough and you just need to chill out and lean back and, you know, look and see how he responds to it. And if he's freaking out and acting all crazy and stuff, then you should be thinking about that, whether that's something that you want to get into or not, because it sounds like it sounds like you guys haven't been seeing each other for very long based on what you've said. And, you know, if he's getting his ego hurt big time from a text message, then, you know, one, it could be something where if you guys are kind of new, it could be that thing where you kind of smothered the fire, which would suck. But it's also one of those things where it's like, you know, there's only so much you can do with a new new kind of dating scenario where I don't even know if you guys have met up before or not. But if you haven't even met up and you're like hurting a guy's ego over text message, my suggestion is one that you don't text as much before you guys end up meeting up for the first time and you use the phone and text message just to meet up, right? That's what you should be doing, because it's one of those things where a lot of people can you can end up taking things the wrong way very easily over text messages. And it's a lot easier if you screw things up to mend things, if you're in person with each other, right? If you say something stupid and you're like, ah, you know, that was really dumb. I'm sorry. You know, it's a lot easier to kind of, you know, brush that stuff off when you guys are in person and talking. And so my suggestion is that you don't do a whole bunch of texting in the future and instead focus mostly on using text and the phone to get to an actual meet up. Remember this phrase, the magic is in the meet up. The magic is in the meet up. You want to meet up with each other and stop going through these giant texting tirades. So TikTok says then this is a continuation off of TikTok, what TikTok said earlier. TikTok says then he is like, don't say this again. Don't bring leaving thing again. Every argument does not means end of the relationship. This is good in a relationship. I don't know what I'm not sorry. TikTok, I don't know what you're saying right now. So James says, how can I know she enjoys what I'm doing? It's a good question. How can you know that she enjoys what you're doing? I have no idea what you're talking about, James. But let me tell you guys something real quick. So most women come to me because they're in situations where they want to attract a man who loves them and sees them and cherishes them and they want to get into a committed, lasting relationship. But one of the big problems that they have is that a lot of times guys end up disappearing or they end up pulling away or if you're in the dating world right now, we're in this hook up culture where a lot of people are just looking to get into superficial, shallow relationships with each other, where they're just hooking up and there's nothing really meaningful going on. And for a lot of the women that come to me, this makes them feel confused and doubt themselves and start questioning their own self worth and their own value. And many of them end up getting really frustrated with men, with dating, with relationships and just want to give up altogether. And I just want to let you know that if you're having this problem, it's really common right now. There's a lot of problems going on with with all these dating apps and all the new online dating stuff that's going on right now. We live in a culture that is just it's it's a challenge for everyone. Right? It's a challenge for everyone. Right now, men and women are are starved for real connections and real relationships. And I believe that there's a better way for men and women to get into and stay in committed relationships that last. And that's why I put together a proven path that will help you get into the relationship that you've always wanted. It's a program that I created for free. You can get it for free. It's called the forever one. And look, I understand what it's like to be in a situation where you feel like, you know, attracting and keeping somebody in your life is absolutely feels like it's almost impossible. Right? When I originally started learning about a lot of this stuff, I was kind of coming from a place where I felt like I was never good enough, like I had to prove myself. Like, you know, a lot of the things that I did in my life actually came from the space of wanting to prove that I was worthy of love. I when I was a kid, you know, my my mom at one point left me and just left me over at my dad's house and never came back for me. And after that time, like I felt like I I felt like I was all alone in the world. And after that, I ended up she left me over at my dad's house. And then my dad ended up giving me over to my grandma. And like, there was just this crazy weird, weird thing. And, you know, I'm not saying that it's like the worst scenario in the world, but I felt very abandoned and I felt like I wasn't good enough. I wasn't good enough to receive my parents' love. And from that point on, I spent a lot of time trying to prove that that I was worthy and I did a lot of things in my life that and I accomplished a lot of really cool things trying to prove that I was worthy. But anyway, I'm going off on a tangent now. But I get it. I understand what it's like to have challenges in this area and to have challenges with feeling like you're stuck. You're not sure what you want to you can do to attract a great person into your life. And I know a lot of the women that have come to me have been in the same situation. And I've helped thousands and thousands of women switch from feeling like they were just absolutely hopeless and stuck to attracting great men into committed relationships where they're loved and cherished. Many of them have gone on to get married and I have a three part plan for you to be successful in this. And here's what it is. One, you need to believe in your own value. Two, you need to position yourself in value. And three, you need to communicate your value. And I teach you how to do this in my program, the forever woman formula. And so there should be a link above or below this video. If you want to get a copy of my program for free, just click the link or go to the forever woman formula dot com. Watch the video on that page, sign up for my free course. And if you want to stay a part of our community later, you can stay a part of our community and there is a small subscription fee. If you get the forever woman program and you use the principles in it, you can use them to attract abundance and attract a great man who loves you and cherishes you and wants to be with you forever. He'll pursue you for a committed, lasting relationship. You'll do less work and you'll feel more appreciated and valued by the man in your life. And if you don't do it, you'll just end up staying wherever, whatever situation you're in right now. You know, maybe you're in a good situation, which is great. If you're not, you'll end up staying stuck in whatever challenges and problems that you have with men. You'll feel like you're doing everything in a relationship. Only to be taken granted, have guys pull away from you and eventually disappear. And you'll wonder if you're ever going to get into a relationship that you actually want. And I don't want that for you. I want you to thrive. We're here. What I do is all about helping empower women get into the relationships that they've always wanted. And so I really thank you and I appreciate you for being here with me. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your journey in helping you grow and learn about men, learn about understanding men, learn about understanding yourself, learn about valuing yourself and getting into the relationship that you've always wanted. So thank you so much for being here. We have the absolute best women, the most attractive, the coolest, the smartest. Am I throwing enough things to to be nice to all of the women in our community? We have some amazing women in our community. So thank you so much. If you're in our community, if you're not yet, go to the foreverwomanformula.com and join our community there for free. And if you want to stay a part of it, you can do that. So thank you so much for being here. I appreciate you and I will speak with you again soon.