 to enjoy life. Life with Luigi, a new comedy show created by Cy Howard and starring that celebrated actor Mr. J Carol Nash with Alan Reed as the quality. Luigi Vasco left Italy to start his new life in America. He promised his mother that he would write and tell her about his adventures. So now let's read Luigi's letter as he writes to Mama Vasco in Italy. Chicago is a big, wonderful city. But it's one thing not so good about a bigger city. Nobody is annoyed each other. In our little town in Italy, I'm a walk down the street and a smile. And everybody is a smile back. Over here if I'm a walk in a street and a smile, everybody thinks I'm a crazy. In a smaller town like ours, maybe it's not to have advantage of a big city like a Chicago, but it is so nice. You say hello to everybody, even a goat. And as a lady goat, do you take off your hat? Over here, I'm a once to take off my hat, stand on the street and a smile. And what's to happen? In a half hour, I'm a collector 45 cents. For the trouble over here in Mamma Mia, is the people always in a big rush. Rush, rush, rush. They even have got a one hour special for rushing. That's the call the rush hour. It's for people who's forgot to rush during the day time so they get a one or more chance to catch up at night. Everywhere signs is a tell a people to hurry up to save the time. Get your hair cut in 15 minutes. Get your car washed in 12 minutes. Eat the busy bee lunch in 10 minutes. And yesterday I'm a cease cemetery advertisement that's to say, make a down payment and now why wait? You know Mamma Mia, I think it would be a wonderful thing if all of a sudden, everybody here is a stop rushing around for one minute and I say hello to the fellow standing next to him. Well, there's not time now for dreaming of Mamma Mia because it's time for me to go to my night school of class. So I'm a finisher my letter later. Class, let's have some quiet. Fine. I'll call the roll now. Mr. Basko? Here. Mr. Harwood? Here. Mr. Olson? Here. Mr. Schultz? Well, Mr. Schultz, you're here. Why don't you say here? I just want to break the monotony. All right, Mr. Schultz, enough of that, please. Now, class, before we begin our lesson, I think you might be interested in knowing that North Hall Stead Street, the very street where our school is located, will be 50 years old this week. Not the whole of Stead Street. That's where I'm going to my store. And that's where the Pasquale's got his spaghetti palace. Yes, and Mr. Schultz has his delicatessen there. Now, class, a little arithmetic. If the street was begun 50 years ago, who can tell me the exact year? I know. I know. I know. I know. Very good. Very good. Well, Mr. Schultz, the rest of the class knows the answer. Why don't you? Because it is my great enchantment in life to make other people look smarter. Good morning. I'll erase my hand first. Please, let me answer. There he goes, the quiz kid with Renglers. All right, Mr. Olson. Now, Hall Stead Street was begun 50 years ago. It's 1949 now, so what year would that be? 1899. Marked down for 1900. Mr. Schultz, please pay attention and learn something. Now, the 1890s were important years in our nation's progress. The automobile was invented in 1893. That's very good, Mr. Olson. Now, besides the automobile, does anyone know another invention of the 1890s? Yeah. Milani's 1890 French dress. Mr. Basco? Mr. Basco? Huh? You seem to be engrossed in something. Well, Miss Pauling, you tell us before the North Hall Stead Street is going to be 50 years old this week. Yes, that's right. Well, Miss Pauling, this city is so big. Must be there is another dozen of people on North Hall Stead Street who doesn't know each other. Imagine, people living right next to each other and they're strangers. Luigi, that's very true. What are you getting at, Mr. Basco? Well, I was thinking, why we don't have a big black party and everybody is a common eat and dance and a sing and everybody gets to know each other and be friends. Young Benjamin, let me do that. That was just a wonderful idea. Luigi, you deserve credit. Ah, Luigi, my friend, you got a brain. It's so smart, it should be in a bottle. I love black parties with the collet light strung across the street, people dancing all night. I remember once our district alderman give a black party and you should have seen the finest food was passed around like hotcakes and the champagne flowed like water. How do you shoot that? That sounds expensive. Hotcakes and water are expensive. Now look, Luigi, don't worry about the expense. Smile. Put my own delicatessen, I will donate food and Pasquale, that sheep's gate, he'll donate too. I'll string up the lights and take care of the decoration. And by go, they'll go around and get the whole neighborhood. Now I think the best way to handle this is to form a committee. Oh, you're spoiling. You hit the hammer right on the thumb. You're going to have a black party committee meeting right after class and everything's going to be arranged. Oh, sure, sir. I think you're wonderful. Oh, stop, Luigi. This is all your idea and if any credit must be handed out. Yes, sir. I want you to hand it to me. Oh, Pasquale, something wonderful has happened. I'm so happy I feel like it's singing. What's happened? Are your uncle Pietro's goat is a die and a leavey your uncle Pietro? No, Pasquale, it's better than that. Monday night, Hollister Studios are going to have a birthday party. Stop! Street? Is it going to have a birthday? That's right. I suppose it comes at midnight, the fire hydrants are going to shake their hands with the lampposts. And maybe the mayors are going to go around kissing a manhole covers. Hello, Pasquale. Let me explain to you. Ms. Bollinger was a teller today how our street was started 50 years ago. So I say, why don't we have a black party and celebrate it? Oh, then it's a real thing. That's what I'm going to tell you. All it's going to tell is all the people. We're going to get the music. All the witches are going to put up the lights and the Schultz is ahead of the committee. Oh, that smart, delicate tassel, man. It's already take over, eh? Luigi, if you get a such idea, why you go to everybody else when you should come to me? Fellows will bring you from the older country. After all, I'm the most irrespective man here. Don't you know I'm ahead of the block? That's the right, Pasquale. I should have come to you. You're the real blockhead. That's a funny thing. When I'ma say it, it's to come out of different. Pasquale, I hope you're not mad because we figure you're going to give a lot of food for the party. Food for the party? I'm not going to... Shoo, shoo, Luigi. Not only am I going to give a food, but I'm going to see it's going to be music and people should have danced. Oh, Pasquale, are you going to hire orchestra? No, an organist. Organist, Pasquale, what for is an organist? Play, here comes the bride. Is it for my daughter Rosa? Huh? What is she going to marry? My son. Goodbye, Papa. Fool, you know Mara Rosa, you get a nut there. I'm going to give her no food, you got a no party. You're sitting around like a bunch of Republicans. I'm going to Pasquale, the people is already invited and I'm more ready to promise. Promise, promise, promise. Only promise I'm interested in is when you sing it to Rosa, oh, promise to me. Oh, Pasquale, I... Luigi, Luigi, everything is all arranged. Shoo, shoo, we got a no party. Pasquale is a no-giver food unless I'm Mara Rosa. Him? Hello, Shoo, what's the brought to you here? The stock. And what brought you here? I want your... Mr. Dalek, that's the man. Why are you flying off the handlebars? Because all of us are taking advantage of my friend, the stupid little dumb cop. Now, please, please, I shall see you making me blush. Luigi, you stay out of this. I don't concern you. Yeah, shut up. Don't you dare tell him to shut up. If anybody should tell him to shut up, I'm his friend and I'm going to tell him to shut up. Luigi, who you want should tell you to shut up. I'm going to start a fight. I'm going to shut up myself. Luigi, why are you wasting your time with this stupid block of party? Give my Rosa a ring, get her married, have a 10 or 15, a bambini. You raise your own block. Listen, Pascuali, stop playing ring around the Rosa. Are you giving in food for the party or no? Absolutely not. Mr. Dalek, that's the man. I'm leaving that a pleasure to you. You can give all the food you want. Oh, a smart cop, huh? Well, if that's the case, I'm giving nothing, not one stitch of salami. Oh, Schutzer, Schutzer, what are you saying? Just because a Pascuali is acting like that, you've got to act it the same way? That's right. If he's going to act like a chug-ass, I'm going to prove to him I'm twice the chug-ass he'll ever be. No use to talk anymore. Schutzer, Schutzer, please, sit down and go. I was going to give 500 vino schnittles. But after seeing the way Pascuali acts, I don't give a schnitz. He's the twice the jackass I am. You've got to get up early in the morning to do that. Hey, Luigi, come on. We can down at Dave's radio store. We'll watch the television in the window. They got a Western with some new Italian star. Half along a Cassini. Hey, Luigi, you want a jelly bean? Is your favorite flavor? Licorice. Oh, listen, Luigi. Forget there's a block of party eyes there about the people talking each other and being friends. You see anybody worried about you? In America, you worry about yourself. Just to make it a buck, keep your nose in your own plate. Hey, Luigi. Hey, Luigi. Using my handkerchief. I've got to get the good word to you that Luigi and his friends will be back on Tuesday night again over most of these same CBS stations. Remember, life with Luigi on CBS Tuesday nights. From now on. The second act of Luigi Pasco's adventures in Chicago, we turn to page two of his letter to his mother in Italy. Honest, so, ma'am, I'm here. I was up all the night to worry, now, because the shoes and a Pasquale is a no-giver food for the block of party. I'm going to have the heart to disappoint all the people who's going to come to the party. So, first, I think maybe I should use all of my money to buy the food. But it's not going to be enough. Three hamburgers. But more than anything, I'm like a shoelace in a Pasquale. I should have been friends again, and this party should have been a success. If only I'm going to have the money to buy food. I'm going to have so much money, troubles, and nobody to tell me to. Then I'm going to think. The bank. Sure. They've got to warn the girl there just to listen to you, because all the heart is a sign that's to say, tell her. So I'm going to go right now to the bank and tell her. Mr. Pasquale, I'm Mr. Hudson, manager of this bank. The teller informs me you're interested in obtaining a loan. Is that right? That's it, I do. You see, I've got a problem. Well, how much do you want? How much do you got? Mr. Pasquale, our bank has assets of over three million dollars. Oh, I'm going to want that much. Just how much are you thinking of borrowing? Well, now let me see. I wish you'd have at least two, three hundred pounds of a baloney and a salami. What? Three hundred pounds of a spaghetti. That's not the count of the meatballs. Also, fifty pies. Huckleberry, apple, and a strawberry. Yes, yes, Mr. Pasquale. Also, I think two hundred pickles will be enough. Mr. Hudson, how many slices do you get from a pickler? Well, I don't know. I think my wife gets four. Oh, she's a slicer big. I'm going to get eight slices. Yeah, two hundred pickles is more than enough. Now, how much do you think it's going to cost for bread to feed so many people? Well, what kind of bread are you getting? White, rye, or Pumpernickel? Any kind you got. We've got them all. Well, all right. I'll take them all. Well, that's a good... Mr. Pasquale, what's this loan for? It's for a party. You're borrowing money to make a party? This party's not for me. It's a black party. All the street is going to be fifty years old. Shultz and Pasquale, you know them? Yes, they're depositors. Well, they was going to bring a food for a party, but they changed your mind. I'm going to want to disappoint the people, so I'm going to pay. Please, Mr. Hudson. Well, Mr. Basker, this is very irregular. Even if I wanted to grant you this loan, what collateral do you have? Huh? Security. What security can you give us to ensure the loan? Well, I'm just going to make the people happy. They should all get to know each other. Making people happy? What kind of security is that? Hudson, the biggest kind of security I know. Mr. Basker, our bank has been on Halstead Street for many years, and... Under what, Mr. Hudson? Well... My gosh, I think your black party is an excellent idea. I'll see to it that it goes on. Oh, Mr. Hudson, are you going to give me the money? You go ahead with your party plans and all the food will be there. Don't worry, Mr. Hudson, I'm going to pay you back every penny. Please, maybe you come to the party, too? Well, I have an engagement Tuesday night, but I'll try to make it. Oh, Mr. Hudson, you're a fine man. And you make a wonderful automobile. Someday I'm going to buy one. The party isn't going to be. I love you. You like a papa to me. From ocean to ocean. You're a wonderful dancer. Luigi, you're a wonderful dancer, isn't he, Esther? Yeah, Luigi, how is it you should dance so good, I do, as Dan? Well, I'm going to take a deeper down underneath the feet. All the dancers are the same. How do I tell you, I see you dancing the Irish real. You dance even better than O'Reilly. The Irish real? To me, that's a Russian gazette. Give it up, bro. Hello, everybody. How are you? Oh, what a wonderful party. Mr. Basker, the food's delicious. Mr. Shilton, Mr. Pascuali really fixed things up nicely, didn't they? Yes, they fixed the things. Ms. Spaulding, I would like to ask you a question, please. Yes, what is it Mrs. Harroweth? My husband, he's a good boy in school. He behaves himself. Well... Believe me, Esther, it's her pleasure to stay after school with Ms. Spaulding. Why? Oh, I'm a Spaulding. Have you seen Shul's sort of Pascuali on a plane? Well, I did see Mr. Pascuali. He's been standing there behind that lamppost. I can't understand it. Well, excuse me. I'm going to go over there and talk to him. Hey, hey, Pascuali. Why are you just standing there watching the people? I'm going to have to ride it to watch it. You walk along the stores, you go win the shopper. Well, I'm just standing here watching the people. I'm a people shopper. Luigi, Luigi, you asked me to look for someone. Look what I found. Oh, stop dragging me by the ear. I am not a cook or Spaniard. Shul's a Pascuali. Who are you to no shaker hands and a big friend? Our Shul's is a hair. I'm a thought the wind is a shifting from the stock yard. That's all he can say. Old radio jokes. That's all. I'm a maker that up for my own head. What head? The only thing you got between your ears is a meatball. I'm ready for the Mr. Pascuali. No, please, please. Shul's a Pascuali. He's a blocker party. Have a fun. Enjoy. Hey, I'm going to call Ralph and the Angelus and tell him to sing and we all start the bigger dance. Oh, there he is. Hey, Ralph. Yes. Hey, Ralph. Start your song now. Ladies and gentlemen, hold hands with whoever is standing next to you and we're going to dance all around the block. Oh, that's wonderful. Dance all around the block. Shul's a Pascuali. You stand next to each other and hold the hand. Oh, no. I'm not going to hold the hand through the hand. All right. I thought the whole of my hands. Come on. Patanus, come on. Shul's the whole of Pascuali's hand. That's the end. I'm not holding the hand. Oh, come on. I'm not holding the hand. No, for no. How you like the dancing? It was wonderful, Luigi. I found a friend. Right, Pascuali? That's all right, Shul. So it was just the two grown-ups acting like a little baby. Yeah, but we are not acting like babies no more. Pascuali, I apologize for starting the fight with you. It's not your fault, Shulza. I was the one who was the star. What are you talking about? I'm the one who was the star. It was the Shulza Pascuali. You're starting to fight again. You're right, Luigi. I'm feeling so good tonight. The better than ever I've ever felt. That's a fine of Pascuali. In fact, I'm feeling so good, I'm not even going to ask you to marry Rosa. Oh, thank you, Pascuali. I'm going to let Rosa ask you herself. Rosa! Now is the time to pop the question. Pop the question? Yeah, go ahead, pop it. Mr. Hudson, could you just come? Well, I got here in time to join that last dance, and I enjoyed it very much too. But I have to leave now, and before I go, I thought I'd give you these bills for the food. Ah, yes, yes, the bills. Pleasure, Mr. Hudson. I'll take up a word of you in a bank tomorrow. Well, I'd rather settle them now. Here, here they are. All right. Bill for $50 from under 50. Mr. Hudson, you bought all of the food from a Shulza Pascuali. Wait a minute, you got me all for shimmers. Mr. Hudson, you mean to say the food? I told you it's now being served to you? Yes. Him? And I've been telling everybody how terrible it was. I bought the food for Mr. Pascuali. Rather than let this block body fall through, he undertook to pay for everything himself. Well, don't, don't worry, Shulza. I'm going to pay you back. Every penny proper I'm going to make for my business is going to go to you until you get your $50. That long I ain't going to live. Oh, you little don't go floor easy. You don't owe me nothing. I'm happy to give the food. And, uh, mmm, it was delicious. Oh, Shulza, Shulza. And, uh, you, Mr. Pascuali, when do you want your bill paid? When not the whole Steadest Street is 150 years old. Luigi, I think you're right. You keep your nose in your own plate. What you get is a nose full of gravy. Oh, Pascuali, you think I'm going to take the money from you little pumpkin head? Come on, Luigi, let's start a dance again. Come on, Luigi. Oh, Luigi, don't just stand there like that. Hey, Luigi. Hey, Luigi, use my handkerchief. That's the second handkerchief. And so, my mummy, today was the happiest day of my life. You should have seen all those people who was living on the same street for so long. And it's the first time that they stopped to say hello to each other. It's to give everybody a good feeling. One man, he's an acyclo-perious salesman. He's a get-to-like of me so much, he's gonna give me the first book of three. Now, all I'm gonna do is abide the other 19. My mummy, I can adjust to see how you would give your biggest smile to see all those different people dancing together. It was the people who first come from Ireland, Poland, France, Germany, Italy. And when I see them all together, it was like international hamburgers. And when it shoots in a Pasquale, they hold their hands and become friends. Everybody was so happy. My mummy, who wouldn't it be wonderful if all the nations, they have big parties and a whole of hands all around the world. Instead of making a bigger block of buses, they think how to make a bigger block of parties. Well, good night to Mama Mia. Tonight I'm asleep or good. You're loving your son, Luigi Vasco, the little immigrants. Be sure to listen next Tuesday night, the day after tomorrow over most of these stations, when Luigi Vasco writes another letter to his mama Vasco describing his adventures in America. Life with Luigi is a Cy Howard production and is written by Mac Benhoff and Lou Derman and directed by Mac Benhoff. J. Carol Nash is starred as Luigi Vasco with Alan Reed as Pasquale. Hans Conrad Schultz, Mary Schiff as Miss Balding and Jody Gilbert as Rosa. Music is under the direction of Lynn Murray. Bob Stevenson speaking. Life with Luigi will be back next Tuesday night and every Tuesday thereafter over most of these same CBS stations. And in this spot on Sundays, another of the great stars who have joined the CBS Parade, Red Skelton. Don't miss this first Red Skelton show on most of these same stations next Sunday night and laugh with Red on every Sunday thereafter. Eve Arden in our Miss Brooks, Jack Benny, Hamison Andy, Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy, followed by Red Skelton. There's a wonderful two and a half hours of laughter in the middle of Sunday evenings on this network, CBS This Call. And now stay tuned for Corleis Archer who follows immediately over most of these same stations. This is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System.