 Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, it's Christmas! I'm not just insulting you! Merry Christmas! How are you doing, folks? My name is Kevin, and we do a very special tradition around here on Christmas Day. We do kind of our own rewind. I don't think there's gonna be a YouTube rewind of this year. Probably for the best. But don't worry, you still have call me Kevin Rewind. I hope you're having a good Christmas, whether you're spending it with loved ones or you're just chilling alone, just enjoying some internet time. That's fine, too. I hope you enjoy your day, and whether you celebrate Christmas or not. I just hope you're having a good time, and it's actually just sitting down and putting on some clips and drinking a coffee. I'm a gamer, so I have a gamer cup. I'm such a loser. I actually cannot believe that it's been a year since I did this last. This year has both flown and not moved at all. It's pretty, it's pretty wild actually. I sent a time. It's just non-existent anymore. But let me not ramble anymore. Let us jump in to the first clips. I chose, in the spirit of Christmas, to pick the clips where I made a lot of new friends online, playing in random games, random people, and just having a jolly good time. I mean, maybe they weren't having a good time because, you know, I was there, but I was having fun. That's all that matters, so enjoy the clips, and you know what? I don't need them, but it is Christmas. So let me give you one. That looks fucking terrifying. All right, let's go. Let's see how this compares to the screenshots. Oh my god, it looks exactly like I expected to. It's the world of the future. Hey everyone, I like Simpsons. Hey Sydney, can I have a pistol? Oh my god, I'm so overwhelmed. This is just amazing. Oh, a dress-up time. Wow, fantastic. That looks disgusting. Hey little crater, what are you? Oh my god, you are a human. Oh, I got hit by a car. What the hell? Oh, holy life fairy, who are you? I'm your hit-and-run victim. Ah yes, back on the town. Prettier than ever. She has two faces. Get out, get out. Let's go shopping. I don't think anyone wants to play with me, probably because I look like this. I just said I like Simpsons, then immediately just turned around and bolted. Why does no one like Simpsons? I just jumped in the back of that car. Come on Sarah, interact with me. Sarah, stop this. Just let's talk about Simpsons. This is terrifying, like being realistic for a second. This is really scary. Like that is definitely like a 48-year-old male. Does anyone else like Simpsons? No. No one will talk to me. What's happening? Are you getting abducted? Oh, they're talking to me. I don't know what they're trying to say, so I just said dab for Simpsons and I'm running away while dabbing. Okay, here's the real trust test. I am now an imposter. Black, come with me. He's just staring at me. What a legend. Oh my god, I found a new best friend. Oh my god, it's in there, it's in there. He just walked through the door. Kiwo, where are you going? Why me? I wouldn't turn off the lights, I just held the door closed. How's my sanity looking? Because I'm losing my fucking mind. Oh my god, Kiwo's amazing. The VR just makes it. You good? Yeah, I'm good. I've set the camera up and left him on his own. Okay, great. Can I be your friend? Do you want to hurt me? Yes! Oh, you fucker! Okay, Brown did the scan thing and he saw me being scanned, so we are 100% legit. Come on, pee pee poo poo poo poo. I've always wanted a mature friend like you for guidance and wisdom. All right, no one touched my pee pee poo poo. All right, there we go. No one touched my white green, he said. I forgot how confusing my name is. No, oh god, I knew I was dead as soon as he turned back. Where was my pee pee poo poo when I needed it? If I could speak to him as a ghost, I'd say it's not your fault, but like it clearly is. I always wanted to be the one that would die first because I couldn't deal with him dying. Look, he's devastated. Oh, he's so sad. My poor little pee pee. Oh, now he's getting angry. He's gone through the seven stages of grief. Is it seven stages? I'm gonna say two stages. He went through grief and now anger. I owe him Super Saiyan now. Such a man's man. No, pee pee! Who did this? I love his slain. Let me grieve. I'm just not gonna talk for the rest of this. Oh, me and pee pee are reunited, though. I asked pee pee to stop talking to the others because I'm getting a little jealous. He said, yes, everything for you. Wait, where's brown? He was following me a moment ago. This isn't like him at all. Where did he go? Where the hell did he go? Oh god, I'm sorry. I'm worried sick. Where could he be? Oh god, I've seen like everyone else. He's gotta be dead. I'm sending out a search party. I mean, that's just me. And I think it was Darth Blue too, so I'm staying away from him. Oh my god, pee pee poo poo, you're still alive. Oh my god. Oh, I nearly pee pee poo pooed myself. Oh, this is the most immature video I've ever done. The most terrifying image. Strangle you a bit. I'm gonna strangle you a little bit. Okay. Drone, Elvin. Drone! That's me drowning, Hagrid. That's me drowning right now. What words, Elvin? My last words, sir. I really wish I picked the mystery box. A weird man in the forest gave me a rope as an ingredient. I don't think you meant to have that. Maybe not, but I bet it makes a good potion. Jason, when will I use the rope you gave me? Oh, sorry. I don't have rope. Do you have a rope on you? I had, but then I killed myself because I was afraid I'd get in trouble. Turns out the rope actually came in handy after all. That Hagrid guy's been drowning children down by the lake, I believe. Fuck off, Elvin. Oh, I didn't know you were there. I didn't know. Knock you out. Yo, that sounds like Kevin. Yeah, call me Kevin, the YouTuber. No, no, no. I'm not Kevin. I think that is Kevin. Oh, that's a wassakod. That's a soundboard, he thinks. Hey there, friends. How's it going? Oh, this guy's just using like a, um... Hey there, friends. Like, uh... Oh. What a great way to start your morning. Wait, if I actually make a soundboard of myself. A few moments later. Hey there, friends. How's it going? My name is Kevin. Thank you so much. My name is Kevin. The guy left. He left. He was like, I'm not playing with a soundboard. Oh, that's amazing. The other guy left as well. He's dead. He did a weird break dance. No, no, he's dead. No, no, he's sleeping. He's all, he's all tuckered out, pork eye, after a dance. I guess I'll go and judge for myself then. No, he's sleeping though, you'll disturb him. Found him. He is definitely dead. No, no, check for a pulse, dude. How could he be dead? He's not breathing. Yeah, that's what people do when they sleep. Just ignore him. Look, he's acting out. He's going limp until he gets his way. Ignore him. Oh, the stud finder's gone off. It was just a shadow, a trick of the eye. Optical illusion even. Goodbye. Help, help. Wait, no, I heard him yawn. Did you hear that big yawn? Oh, God. Yeah, he's going to sleep because he's getting some fresh air at the window sill and going to sleep. What's your name again? Trav. No, no, I'm a shit. I'm a shit. Okay, shit. Look, you got to stay with me, all right? There's no such thing as ghosts. You got to be brave right now. Wait, no, that's the opposite of brave. Come back, shit. I do not have time for your shit right now. Come with me. I'm going to look for more material. Materials? What does that even mean? This is what I'm telling you. Look, it would be crossed off if we witnessed a ghost event. They went to sleep. That's not ghostly. They're just sleepy. What would I do without your logic? Probably survive. How'd that guy get so fat? You see, this was a big mistake because what I was referring to is that it's very, very difficult to get fat in Red Dead Redemption. I wasn't calling him out. I was genuinely asking how did he do it? The fuck did you just say to me? I said, how'd you get so fat? This is all fucking muscle, man. I've never seen muscle jiggle like that. I'm sorry. Hey, don't step outside. The wind might blow you away. You scrawny little shit. Well, thank you for looking out for me. I appreciate that. Let me buy you a drink. No, wait, you probably had enough. You know what? If your nose didn't already look like it had been broke three times over, I'd punch you square in the face right now. I think it would just feel like getting hit by some jelly. Let's find out, shall we? Is the fat one in your posse or is he new as well? Motherfucker, what did you just call me? Shit, I know this doesn't sound realistic, but I didn't see you there as hard as that is to believe. Barkeep, you got any nuts? You can see my nuts if you want. I'm gonna kick you in the nuts if you keep talking. Why are you obsessed with my nuts? Oh, I'm hungry. Ain't a surprise. Y'all are just looking to get laid the fuck down, aren't they? I'm a glutton for punishment, and he's just a glutton. We're a match made in heaven. Motherfucker, what did you just say about me? Oh, shit, he heard me. He's coming back. I'm about to get destroyed. Oh, shit. Here we go again. My fucking horse has disappeared. My horse is dead because he's stupid. You wanna see a cool trick going? Yes. My horse can sidestep. Wow, really cool trick. Leave me alone. I'm new, I'm new, I'm new. I'm new. Guys, on me. Guys, he just can't see me because I'm disguised as a bush. Don't move, dude. Could you kill Chip? I wanna see what it looks like. Hey, no, not me, not me. Watch out. There's a bush in the middle of the floor. Someone, there's a bush here. Grab the bush. Yeah, put on the bush. No, put on the bush. Come back, come back. Put on the bush. Come back and put on the bush. I had to put on other items. No, come back and get the bush. Shut up. Christ, come back. There's a bush down in the living room. Christ, this way. This way. I have a bush on. Yeah, I have a bush on as well. And if you have a bush, all three of us will have a bush on. I have two items on me already. See, he sees you now. If you were a bush, he wouldn't have found us. The monster likes me. Oh my God. Some ghostly activity on the porch, guys. He's moved everything. I think he's moving out due to all his 19 new roommates. Oh God, it's four ghosts. They can't even move on and now we're bothering it like this. Yeah, we're robbing this place. They're robbing the house. He's taking like their family photos and stuff. They're taking everything. Is the ghost playing Mike Posner? Okay, so we got Spirit Box and Mike Posner. Write that down. Write that down. Oh my God, look at everyone just enjoying Mike Posner. Oh, this is why we're here. Yeah, there we are. This is gaming. Oh, look, Kongaline. Oh, it's a Kongaline. I feel much better now. Konga, Konga, Konga. His dead body. Just Kongang over it. Oh, I think there's about to be another dead body. Oh, there goes another one. Oh, he Konga too hard. Oh my God, he Konga too his dead. He Konga too his dead. Seventh Konga related death this week. I have bone. You have bone? Kevin, give me bone. I give bone command. Behind you. Run. All right. We need. Where's his head? I want to sew it onto his crotch. Bring that in here. I'm Frankenstein. Okay, so we need another leg. We need his left leg. We need his head. Actually, we need two kidneys, just two. Two kidneys. Just two kidneys. Where's the fucking view? How did you get to feel stuck in there? No, Jim, you're my only friend. I wouldn't call them friends at all. They were acquaintances. I couldn't wait to get out of their company and be back with you. He's a little sensitive. He gets a bit jealous, so it'd be nice to. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed those clips. I love those videos. I love making friends with new people, and I always feel like they came out really nice, like those videos where I play with random people and just have a good time, because I feel like my humor just kind of bounces off people well, and they just don't know what to say. At the time, they're just confused. But yeah, I hope you enjoyed that. Now, I cannot not address the elephant in the room. That's a double negative right there. I cannot address the elephant in the room, which was the lockdowns of this year. Ireland's been in a pretty strict lockdown on and off one second. That was just uncomfortable. Sorry, I'm ruining Christmas again. Lockdown has been a big part of this year. I like to think, although the situation was horrible, sorry, again, ruining Christmas, the situation was horrible. Everything about this year was a mess. What I've got now is some lockdown games. Some games that I probably would have never played if it wasn't for lockdown. So that's probably a negative, because these are some pretty bad games, but I hope you enjoy the clips. With reviews like this, I don't think this is going to be very good, but let's give it a go anyway. Oh, it's got a good soundtrack. Maybe that person was wrong. Yes, it's the people who are wrong. The game will be great. What is he doing? He's playing an instrument for the flower, and the flower is open. Oh my God, who is that dude behind us? Wait, the kid didn't even come into the tunnel with me. Come on, kid, come into this cave. I don't think this adventure is about Mary. Jesus Christ, Mary is scary. Scary Mary will call her. But I think this is just sleep paralysis. Yeah, this is definitely sleep paralysis. Poor Mary. She'll be having heart palpitations here. How much do you think you exercise? I exercise a lot all the time. I've wanted extreme. Give me an extreme workout. It's so fucking warm in here. This is going to be a huge mistake. Strength, oh God, come on. More, can I not go over 100? Just snap it. Excuse me, I'd like to return this. I'm too strong for it. Oh my God, I'm in a duel. Am I a Pokemon? Kevin, Kevin, perfect sake. Pick a skill to use. Overhead press. I'm going to go with squats. Come on, let's do this. You impressed yet? Very nice. I think I'm winning. Oh my God, it took so little off him. What the shit? This is going to take all day. Can I cheat? Can I cheat? Ha ha, I can cheat. Everyone knows a good workout is all about cheating. Neat chest. Okay, great. I'm going to have to do this one off camera. It's probably best for my dignity, even though I think that's long gone at this stage. Oh my God, he's being hit with my abs. Just to paint your picture, what's going on off screen, I am seriously regretting setting this to extreme and I wish I could change it. Chair pose. You know what? That might actually work well right now. You know why? Because I have a trick off my sleeve. Now, and victory pose. Yes. I feel like I accomplished something today, even though I did a lot of cheating. What am I supposed to be doing? Where are the enemies? Are there meant to be enemies? Any second now. There's going to be enemies. Yep. Here they come, I bet. Any second now. Enemies. Enemies down. Good job, manhunter. I think that's it, manhunter. No one else is spawning. The scope is so still for a guy who's going for running like five feet. Look at how many bullets that dude's taking. And he's just running at them. He's fearless. Look at him, he's still running. Like I've been fighting up here and my dude's just running down there into their base. How is that my fault? The dude just loves getting shot. He literally just runs into bullets. Oh for fuck's sake, new mission. I had to put him down. He was suffering. All right, I'm going to go give this bear a hot kiss. Jim is like running over there. They're looking deep into each other's eyes, but that's about it. I don't kiss. What the fuck? All right, just get a hug at least. No, they're running away. Jim, quick, go after them. Come back here you faggot. I want to hug you. Yes, yes, here we go. Oh, a nice hug. Oh, they're giving me a gift. 20 bucks. I can barely believe it. Thank you. Oh, I actually tannick you. That deserves a little cat call I think. They probably think I'm like a 70 year old man. Like given the avatar. Oh, they don't want to dance with me. All right, no, this is getting awkward. I'll leave now. It looked like the bear was looking right into the camera. Now, I don't have any friends to play with, but I figured why not play some board games by myself? Wow, that's probably the most depressing thing I've ever said. Look at him getting married. Smug bastard. I hate him. And here's your fucking payday while you're at it. He's loaded. It's not fair. Wait, I'm loaded. This is great. I want blue me to do well. I feel like he's a trier, God bless him. I want white me to win and I want red me to die in an automobile accident. Buy furniture, pay 10K. Oh God, it sucks being blue. I can see why he's so blue all the time when he has to keep paying for all this shit. Oh, and I just realized it's a salesperson one, so that doesn't go to the bank. It goes to the villain, Red Kevin. Are you invested yet? Because I'm really invested. Like way more than I thought I'd be. Treat salary card with any player. Yes, blue. You're trading it with red. Screw him. Get fucked. He had a comment. The bastard. Tree falls on house. Pay 15K if it's short, but he bought insurance. Bastard. He's always one step ahead. Hello, fellow humans. I love meteors. Food is ready. Thanks. I just took our food. I'm throwing the food away. I'm what you doing. Cleaning. Just doing my part. They were not dirty. He JST made that food. I thought it was dirt. Is that insulting his food? I'm not sure. I just cooked it. Oh, I don't know. The text of speech makes it even funny for some reason. Thank you. He knows what's going to happen. He fucking knows it. He's just slowly putting it into the dishwasher. Gem. Yes. Put it down. FFS, Jim. They're all judging me. I didn't do anything. Jim, please don't. I didn't do anything. Put the plate down. It's like a gun. Drop the weapons. Oh, my God. I will do it. I am warning you. If you do, it's a band. Oh, my God. He's saying I'll get banned if I do it. Okay. I'll just hide it. Then he's just walking into the graveyard with the food. Where are you going? Look, I am not a bad guy. Just confused. You're going fucking down, Ryan. All your training will be useless because you'll be used to aiming for like the nose or the chin, but everything is in the wrong place on Turk, so it won't help you. Wait. If I just hold it straight like this, he's holding it backwards. Turk, come on. Oh, really? You're going to make me fight like this? Maybe Turk wasn't the best choice. Okay. Let's try this. Okay. This is definitely dangerous, but it's very effective, so I'm willing to do it. Look at him. He's like a fucking Jedi. Hello there. Fuck. How are you supposed to beat this? He has no fear. He doesn't care if he dies. Look at how replay. Okay. Honestly, Ryan, I'm beginning to think this is pointless for you. I don't think this is going to be a very fun game for you. Jesus Christ. Look at him. He's like holding the sword so backwards and everything. Turk is the kind of guy who wears water wings just to eat soup. Oh, God, look at this one. She's in full makeup and everything. Turk will be like, you probably shouldn't wear full makeup. You know, there's a lot of water involved in this game. And she's like, but you're wearing lipstick to which Turk would respond, yes, but I won't be going in the water, except, you know, his nose would be up there. All right, Ashley, I'm sorry, but that was pathetic. So that's what it feels like when other people are playing with Turk. You just feel a little bad for them and just go, oh, that's kind of sad. Okay. And this looks cool. It's got a skull on it and everything. You can't, you can't click anything. Oh, wait, hold on. Why does the menu only work when you hover over quit and nothing else? Great game. I mean, it did skip past the gaming pattern right to the quit pattern, which just saves me time to be honest. You must activate the product. You can do this via the internet or by phone. I'll do it by phone, please. Oh, it's ringing. Yes. Okay, thanks. I have no idea what that said. Can someone German help me out? I'm just killing him. I don't like the way he speaks. He talks in old-timey English and it makes me feel stupid. Unfortunately, he's the strongest man to have ever lived. And he didn't even want this blood. He has so much excess blood, this is actually helping him. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no, I've got myself stuck. I can't get out. Just when this game is getting good, I can't get out. Why? I don't even know how I got into that. I'm just trying to Google it to see if there's any way to get out of the rocks. And I came across the result that just has got stuck in a rock. Sucks to be you. That's it. Oh, wait, someone's coming to kill me. No, they can't figure it out either. They're wizards, but even they don't understand this. Oh, good, someone's coming down. Did I die? Jesus Christ, he just one tapped me. He did free me, though, which is nice. You are not an easy man to follow. It took us months to find you. Yeah, sorry about that. I got stuck in a rock for a while. Oh, yeah, I got nuked again. This game's hard. Now that that's over, let us never speak of it again. I hope you enjoyed those clips from lockdown games. Honestly, I love playing games like that on the channel. I really do. I should do more stuff like that because I genuinely have such a good time. And I think I'm the only person in history who enjoys those type of games. Like genuinely, it's not like this will make good content. I'm playing it like this is amazing. It's like watching the room, but like in video game form. It's the same kind of feeling, you know, gives me butterflies. However, I wouldn't really call those games classics. But these games, these games are classics. Maybe not so much in the gaming world, but on my channel for sure, I would call them classics. And I've got a few clips for you to enjoy from the classics. I hope you enjoy. Do you want a poem about love or nature? No. That's not one of the options. I think I heard love. Okay, here's a nice short one. It says, I don't think I don't hold on this. All right, that was unnecessary. That isn't about love at all. Okay, I'm going to just gloss over that. Thank you for setting the mood. I don't think you could ever feel all the love I have to give. And I'm sure you never realized. Oh, that was the last line of the poem. Thank you. Start not life. You're suffering from the flu. I'm two years old. Oh, no. Parents, please vaccinate me. Oh my God, I thought that's it. I died. It's the cat. I am depressed. Jesus Christ. This is making a murderer. I'm on the verge of death and I have depression at age three. Someone was acting up, so I said, battle her. So I stormed her. I loosened her eyeball. I detached her throat. I inverted her patella. What the hell is that? And she died from her injuries. We've made a seven-year-old murderer. Oh, I'm finally good at something. Your father passed away. He was murdered. I tend the funeral. Okay, good. I didn't get caught. This is all to a great start. I think people just don't care about murder in Ireland. It's time to vaccinate your son framed my dad. And now, it's another way of murdering. Your mother has a friend who works at discount health and get you a job there as a junior financial analyst. I definitely kill the right parent. God, I'm making every right decision so far. I want a sex change. I want it done today and I want it done cheap. It was botched. Well, shit. Can I sue them? All right, look, go to the other doctor and get a gender reassignment. I can go back to the same one. Yeah, go for it. Then if they botched it, I'll just sue them. Oh, they were successful this time. I guess that works too. Why do you want to be my friend? Murder. There we go. She's dead. And I got sent back to prison for... I'm not even going to try and read that. How do I keep making friends? I don't want any friends. Yes. Okay, they're all gone. Bad time to realize that I start every video and hate their friends. You should be scared right now. Oh, wait. This is stupid cringy right here. Go back to your fucking land. You worthless mother fucker. Fuck your fucking sister. Where'd the comedy go? Excuse me. I'd like to tell a joke. Fuck Ireland too, dude. Wait. What the hell? We went back to France there for a second. What did Ireland do? Yesterday, I saw a guy spill... Wait, hold up. That's not the funny pep. Stop it. All right. Yesterday, I saw a guy spill all his scrabble letters on the road. I asked him what's the word on... A scrabble. Not yet. Hold on. Wait. Hold. I asked him... Shut the fuck up. Just give me a second. Okay. I'm trying to tell a joke. Yesterday, I saw a guy spill all his scrabble letters on the road. I asked him what's the word on the street. Shut the fuck up, fucking American people. I'm not American. I'm Irish. I don't know how many times I have to say this. How come you find the other parts funny but the actual punchline isn't? I wasn't even in the war. It has nothing to do with Ireland. Leave us out of it. Right now, we're here to talk about how shitty Ireland is. Wait. What the shit? Hold on. What's with this hate? Fuck the Irish, dude. What the fuck are you doing? You fucking cunt. I literally only told a scrabble joke. Okay, scrabble is all fun and games until someone loses an eye. Okay, that's it, you fucker. You are muted. Fuck you. I turn my players on stage volume all the way down into the how worthless you are. Fuck you. I just really like scrabble jokes. Oh no, he's gotten into his underwear because it's cold out. Turk doesn't understand. He's like, Turk, see Brett? Maybe he's trying to figure out what it means to have a reflection. It's like watching a dog seeing themselves in the mirror for the first time. It's kind of weird playing as someone else in Jim Pickens' world because it's like it's a spin-off show or something. There's pictures of him up everywhere and you can feel his presence and you can see the impact that he's had on the world. She likes it. She's never been flirted with before. This is easy. Now stop crying. She's cowering. I don't know which one she's cowering from. Ducky, she's running away. That was the waitress, by the way. She's gone. Every time I interact with her, she just starts crying and I don't know how I feel about that. Stop. Just kiss him for Feck's sake. This is hurting me. She's already dining with someone else. Oh my God, it's puffer fish. No, no, no, no, no, get another table. I forgot whose restaurant we were at. Yes, it worked. He has a girlfriend. No, that's Feck. There's a coffin right outside we can use. Could we do this before you have your puffer fish if possible? Stop. Stop eating that. Stop eating it. Hold on. Go try for a baby. Nom, nom, nom. No, not nom, nom, nom. Stop it. Get up. Come on. Make baby. Yes, baby time. Oh my God, she finished the whole thing. How are you alive? Oh my God, just reading his little bio. It just sounds really dark, even though it's innocent. I am a cancer. My name is the seed. It just sounds so bad. My mission is to create as many kids as possible and not only did I just get hit with a bowling ball, but my looks are at zero. How the hell am I going to have like a hundred babies if my looks are at zero? Oh, it's working. Oh yeah. There we go. One night stand. You can tell because the game went, oh yeah, which is really disturbing. I imagine you are on a bus just playing this game because it doesn't have really any audio. And then randomly it just goes, oh yeah. I think I just get off at the next stop no matter where it is. All right, let's try porn set janitor. Yes, I'm a porn set janitor. With any luck, they'll be like, hey you, yeah you, come on in. Then he can have more babies. The seed is one step ahead of the game. Yeah, this is definitely going to be my worst video. Maybe I could adopt. I got rejected. That's no surprise. Yes, my name is the seed. I'm a porn set janitor and I just got over as syphilis. We'll land you to the list. Thank you. And there you have it, the classics. I chose the Sims episode with Turg as well because I was like, Turg's kind of special, isn't he? He's very different to some of our other characters and I'm so glad he exists. He's a very Christmas kind of character too. Oh no, Kevin, you're coming across as weak, quick. Play the clips of me being a bad person, quick. Ruin Christmas for the third time in one video. I'm coming to save and or murder you. Oh yeah, that's a murder. I don't know if this is a good or bad deed because I'm helping the law but I'm stealing from the church. Either way, I'm on board. I really hope God isn't angry though. Like I'm a loyal Catholic boy other than this one thing. You're not angry, are you? No! Maybe I should take that as a sign but I'm gonna choose it with coincidence. Is this the priest? Hello, father. Father, I must confess. Yes, my child, confess to me. Actually, I just need someone else's lemons. Stop! It is forbidden to pick them. Who do you think I am? Adam or Eve? Are you fucking serious? You wouldn't try to steal them, would you? No, I definitely won't try to steal them. No, I wouldn't do that. God, he's naive. I really want to punch the priest. I'm doing everything in my power to not... Like I'll have to load. I'd have to go all the way back and I can't resist it. Beat up the priest. Beat him up. Where's your God now? God, my carriage has plummeted. But I don't think anyone saw. Okay, that's fine. Let me steal some lemons. I'm attacking Kathleen over here. Fecking Kathleen. Take your bag with you. Get out of here, Kathleen. I'm sorry. I'm done. No, come here. Come on, Kathleen. What are you scared? Get me out of here, Kathleen! Fuck you, Kathleen. You have to stop now, Joey. No, I'll never stop. Screw Kathleen. I know. I'm sorry, Joey. You don't have any control over me. I do what I want. I'm coming to kill you, Kathleen. And no one can stop me. Smash the windows. This all counts as you smashing them, Kathleen. Seven years of bad luck. I don't think anything will match the bad luck you got of being in here with me, though. Fecking killer. Can I kill her? Killer. Kill. Kill, Kathleen. Kill. Okay, the cows are moving along. They're being hurried towards the stairs. Do they need the bathroom? I am so impressed by your ability to jump up those stairs. It's like the wild, wild west. They're still migrating. It looks like some abstract art or something. I don't think you're all going to fit it. Wait, only three of them can fit in that. They all turned around. After all that, it took them like a literal in-game day to get out of here. And now they have to turn around. All right, the treatment is thoughts and prayers. Send her home. And then I closed the clinic. I just left them on the table there. Are they just going to stay there all night? Okay, someone else came back. No, no, they're leaving too. The cleaners come in and it's just cleaning around them as they're lying there. I hope the last thing the doctor says was lay perfectly still because if it was, just doing a mighty fine job of it. Honestly, I diagnose you with dead. Like, I think just like to cover our bases, we should delete the windows because I don't want people seeing this. There we go. At least there's no air getting in. She'll die eventually if she's not dead already. I'm diagnosing this guy with big boo boo. They had already diagnosed them. And I'm like, no, that's not it. Even though it's a 100% chance. We're like, no, changed my mind. It's not that actually. But Doc, you said it was 100%. No, no, no. It's just big boo boo. Look at all that blood going through the hospital. Jesus Christ. Just mop it up. Pretend it wasn't here. Monitored patient is collapsing. I'm taking care of him. He's my patient. Who's trying to treat him right now? Look, you're dismissed. I will take care of him. Don't worry. Stop diagnosing him. I will do it. He just needs rest, honestly. I just took him off life support. This is getting so dark. Wait, what? The patient died. No, I was just about to fix him. That's sad. No, don't disappear. He became a ghost right in front of me. I just diagnosed him too. I hate this game. There you are. He just don't know what to do, do you? I don't really blame you. I'm not even killing him. I'm just following him around. Killing the people he runs to. Go on, lead me to another person. My partner in crime. Thank you very much. This guy's good. Come on, Lassie. What's wrong? Why are you crying? Bring me to the trouble. This is like someone's worst nightmare. Killer clown following you, but he refuses to do anything. He's just staring at you. Oh, no, I think I knocked out my friend. I wonder if I can bring my friend back out and get him revived to torture him even more. I see movement. He's awake. He's really awake. Thank you so much. Come on, buddy. It's me. Look, I'm not a clown anymore. Well, I'm still a clown. I'm just not wearing a clown outfit. Screw you. I'm getting help. Wait, friends don't say to friends, screw you. You don't like me at all. You're just using me so that I kill all of your enemies. Please. I appreciate that he started crying when he realized we weren't going to be friends anymore, though. God, that's a lot of people. Maybe I can throw a frag grenade at them. Okay, good. That's perfect. You didn't see nothing. Come here. It was a science experiment. Hello, HR. He's calling HR. We have a bit of a workplace incident. A frag grenade has gone off in the lobby and most of my colleagues that I liked are dead. That poor guy. He got throat punched. Okay, I'm delivering to a guy called Pablo Bong. I don't think that's your real name, sir. I need your real name for tax purposes, please. Where the hell is Pablo Bong? Are you Pablo Bong? Excuse me, Mr. Bong. I have your drugs. God, Pablo Bong needs more. How did you get through that already? That was like five minutes ago. Oh my God, Pablo wants more. Where is he getting all this money? I'm starting to think he actually is a cop. Pablo's giving out about my prices on Fetamine. I put it up by one dollar. He's pissed. Look, Pablo, you have a problem, all right. I'm not enabling you anymore. He's swapping to weed now. It's more affordable. Oh my God. I was like, who's that waiting for me? I knew it was fucking Pablo. Just standing there at some of my apartment. He's getting closer and closer every time. I do respect that you wear high visit night, though. That is a responsible drug user. He's like, I may use 15 grams of manfetamine a day, but I got to where my hive is. I'm not foolish. Oh my God, Pablo moving on to speed now. He's getting sick of all the other stuff. This has all been in like one day. He's really escalating. I got the radio. This puts me in a good mood. I'm in the mood to execute. I didn't even listen to her. Jesus Christ. Oh, the sad music started playing when he came in. You know this is going to be a sob story. Okay, now it's getting creepy. All right, I'm a little intimidated. Dude, you're scaring me. Oh, Jesus Christ. Kill him, kill him. Oh, thank God. Okay, that situation dealt with it. There have been reports of a man stealing from government officials and distributing the stolen goods among the citizens. That doesn't sound so bad. I mean, he's being a nice guy. Yeah, I'll accept his bribe. I'll be nice to him. Off to the labor camps with you. That's me being nice. Trust in your heart, Judge, and the Lord will guide you along the righteous path. All right, what do you have to say? Kill him. Kill him. Kill him. Kill him. I agree. Let's kill him. I'm attacking Kathleen over here. Faking Kathleen. Take your bag with you. Get out of here, Kathleen. I'm sorry. I'm done. No, come here. Come on, Kathleen. What are you, scared? Faked you, Kathleen. You have to stop now, Jody. No, I'll never stop. Screw Kathleen. I know. I'm sorry, Jody. You don't have any control over me. I do what I want. I'm coming to kill you, Kathleen. And no one can stop me. Smash the windows. This all counts as you smashing them, Kathleen. Seven years of bad luck. I don't think anything will match the bad luck you got of being in here with me, though. Faking killer. Can I kill her? Killer. Kill. Kill, Kathleen. Kill. Offer fex's sake. Oh, wait. No, they went into her. Okay. She's dead, Jody. She's gone. You defeated the villain, Kathleen. Kathleen will be back. And in greater numbers, William IV is like, why the shit did I sign up for this game? Hi, everyone. This is Jody. She's in unit four with my mom. Unit four? The Paranormal Department. Oh, what you do there? Ben Stoon just picked dead people? Stuff like that? No, mostly I just choke out Kathleen. They're like, right on, dude. I hate Kathleen. Stupid bitch. A little motorbike for sale. Can I buy that? 200 in cash. Do I have enough? Yes. I don't even know if I have enough. Looks like a little short on the money. I mean, if I killed him, I could just take it. Is there anyone else home? Doesn't look like it. Yeah, it looks like it's pretty abandoned. I think this might be my chance to kill. I hope he fights back, though. Like, I usually don't want them to, but if he runs, it seems to be hard to kill in this game. Oh, fuck, he is fighting back. He is fighting back. Come over here. Come over here. He's coming too close to me. Oh, no. Oh, no. His wife is home or something. It's just boys playing in the air. Boys will be boys and all that. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Don't get the sheriff. Don't get the sheriff. His wife just walked by. She did not give a shit. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. Oh, for fuck's sake, he's going to get away, isn't he? I need a better weapon. Oh, wait, he bled out. Okay, well, that's probably a good thing. Um, what do I do now? I'm pulling him. He seems to be cooperating. Can I just dump him in the lake? Come on in, buddy. Okay, he's gone. I should probably wash off, shouldn't I? Oh, wait, I think I'm wounded. Oh, shit. I'm just out for a swim to ignore me. Come on, I'm too obviously a villain. It couldn't be me. Like, it's always someone you wouldn't think of, you know? It's never the most likely suspect, is it? My God, who is this? This seems like a perfect opportunity for a murder. Hey there, stranger. My name is Matthew, but you probably already knew that. I'm not exactly a nobody. You're out here sunbathing in a full clothing out in the woods. Ooh, I'm really sweaty. I just want to get out of these clothes. They're so limiting. Will you consent to intercourse with Matthew? No. He's like, yeah, I was just joking. I will consent to killing him, though. Be careful not to ever shake the baby. Mama knows what I'm like already. All right, grab it by the throat. Just grabbing it by the throat. It's sobbing. What do I do? Having a baby is great. Yeah, I started choking it even harder, and it's like good. It's crying. Why? Why is it saying good? This is calming it, apparently. Choking the baby is the way forward. I have a grip so tight. Yeah, choking really works for this. They're pretty good, apparently. Yay, a perfect, perfect choking. I told you I'd destroy an armed combat, you little shit. Sorry, I didn't get it. I didn't shake it. I punched it. That's completely different. 88 points, not bad. Right, Kevin Jr. Don't tell a soul what happened here today, though, or I'm fucking warning you. I'm worried that if I'm not careful, this will be considered children's content. And then I'll get demonetized, so I just have to kind of wail on it a little bit every now and again. The poor thing is crying. Oh, that's the way you want to eat a little shit. Fine. Such a fucking grinch, am I right? But don't worry, because I get my karma. For every time I am a terrible person, I have to play a terrible game. It's like in the Kevin mythology or something. The Kevin cinematic universe mythology. It's, karma is a big, big, big part of what we believe in. And by we, I just mean me, Jim, and the snowman. God, he's almost as pale as me, that snowman. By the way, I am actually drinking coffee because I'm a big boy. I just wanted to prove that to you, just in case you think this is empty in a prop. No, no, Kevin, big boy. But this big boy wants to see some terrible games. Enjoy the clips. Okay, this is a bit beyond school pranks. What the hell? This just compresses them down. They're not even flat. This is the best game I've ever played. Oh my God, I went on the rack. I was not expecting that. Hey, bad guys, mission accomplished. Look, dude, what the hell are you doing? We asked you to spray paint a few walls and you smush three students with a steamroller? Instead of smashing with a baseball bat, I have stolen his car and I'm fleeing the area. I think this is a better prank. Okay, well, at least now I'm out of sight from everyone and I can begin the prank. Oh, I've lost. Oh my God, I was about to say it's doing nothing, but now it's on fire. That's mission accomplished, folks, apparently. Burn and brain damage. Obliction of Blomplished. Oh my God, there is a game. It just looks nothing like it. What the hell is up with his ass? Oh God, we may be onto a winner here. Oh wait, hold on, hold on. Oh no. We have found the best one yet. Oh, very good. Hey, buddy, what's up? Oh, they actually interact. Okay, now a fight has broken out. Things are quick to escalate. I think I'm just dying. I don't... Okay, this is not good. This is not good. Run away. Okay, it's not even close to getting in, but that'll do. Speed full. Oh Jesus. Oh, I like this. All right, get out. Wait, actually, no, hold on. I want to get out when I'm like way up in the sky. Oh, sweet Jesus. Let's scream and everything. That was fantastic. Mr. Jim Peckens. Truth or dare? Dare me, come on. Nebulcade's air and tell a secret. Who the heck is Cade? This is fucking awful. Let me get some ASMR for you, all right? My turn. I dare you to suck my toe. I've just been down at a beach, so there's so much sand all over it. You're going to love it. This is so fucking weird. This is so weird. Would it be okay if I kissed you? Please censor that shit. So he's been sucking on her sandy toe, and then he comes up for a kiss. This is so uncomfortable. It is so uncomfortable. God, he must love sand. Mr. Jim Peckens over there is like, God, that was the grittiest kiss I've ever had. I'm calling him out for being super creepy. Okay, we're going to a club now. I mean this random stranger who stalked me on the beach. It seems like this will end well. It's like, do you want to call an Uber and get home safely? 20 diamonds? Or will you be brutally murdered on the beach? Oh, there is horse. Come on. His goofy little run matches his personality. My horse won't wait for me. Come back. What's wrong with him now? Oh, this guy's my hero. He's way better now than Morgan or John Marston. Let's just go to Millbird, but I don't know what a Millbird is. Is that a city? Is that the train? Is that the Millboard? My wife is leaving me. Come back. He's going to have some serious posture problems if he keeps riding like that. Goodbye train and goodbye world. What the hell is that? Why am I flying? You know what? Don't question it. This is a magical world and this is normal. I was so unexpected. I love it. Clearly I've died and gone to heaven because I'm flying around here and this place is just paradise. Riders in the sky. Oh my God. My brothers, you all look exactly like me. Let's go. Are you firing at me? What the hell? We have the same hats. We're not supposed to be against each other. I don't think I have any bullets. What do I do? Do I have another weapon? Okay. My revolver works. Do I even have health? I don't think I do. That's one dead. Oh, that guy's freaking out. Oh, I died and I'm melting into the floor. You know what? I think that's a satisfactory ending. My eyes are also falling out. I'm willing to go down on that note. Another shift that seems like it'll never end. My guy is hating this game. Though my own protagonist of this game hates the game he's in. It's like I could have been the protagonist in anything. I could have been backman. But he's stuck in this reality. He just stuffed us dead. Oh, that's great. Let me just put on everything. Wait, what? What happened? The game was saved. Why am I upside down? It's due to your carelessness. Your vehicle's in heavy damage. Your shift was set for unsuccessful. It just spawned me upside down for some reason. What the hell is this game? I think the game was saved, but at what cost? All right, maybe we can take a shortcut here. Yep, straight over the hill. Jesus Christ, I'm dedicated to my job. Another shift that seems like it'll never end. People are dying, dude. Stop talking about yourself and complaining about how the shift is long when you're on your way to fight a fire. Terrible games for a terrible person. Kevin and terrible games go together like peanut butter and jelly. But you know what? I feel like it's been too much about Kevin. I'm being very self-centered and Christmas is all about people and the spirit of giving and love and Vin Diesel. Here's a brief message from Vin Diesel. Women is turning the beautiful world. Thanks, Vin. I really enjoyed your content this year. Anyway, I think it's time we took a look at some of the more weird games that we played this year. And honestly, this could have been a whole section about Vin Diesel as well, like between the Fast and the Furious game with Vin Diesel, that racing game Wheelman with Vin Diesel, the Big Brother game, where I talked a lot about Vin Diesel. There's a bit of a pattern here, which is weird because I don't actually really like Vin Diesel. He just seems really, really odd. I can't figure him out. And when I can't figure something out, I like to observe it. And Vin, you've been a big part of this year. That was specifically to Mr. Diesel, by the way. Sorry, I just wanted to put that in here just in case he watches it. I feel he might, you know, Christmas miracle. Anyway, it's time for some weird games. Enjoy. Oh my God, guys. Track six. Yes! Track six! I can't believe it! I can't believe I got track six! Stupid music when I'm just trying to get the motion controls to work. Do you want me to leave the room like what? How do I get this to work? Jesus Christ! How fair do I have to be? Oh my God. Oh wait, wait, it's got it. Oh, I found the sweet spot. Come on, Abby. What do you got for us? Yes! Abby was always a good one. Used a little bit too much hairspray. It's very stiff back there. There's no movement at all. But always a good person. Oh, go fuck yourself, 14. I always hated you. You know, you were my least favorite person up there. I was saying that earlier to Howie, because me and Howie get on really well, and we were both trash talking to you, and just how terrible of a person you are. You're five minutes of fame are over. Open the case. I fucking lied. Everyone hates you. Howie was saying that you are... I'm not even gonna say it. All right? Howie was fired up when he said it. He was pissed off. That's my million dollars gone. Howie said some bad stuff about you too. Like, I didn't want to out him or anything, but it's pretty self-explanatory what he said. You're just a terrible person. Forky questions will be held at the observatory. Oh, this is great. Let's play quirky questions. Select a question fill in the blank. Who'd prefer to have been born as... What? Who'd prefer to have been born as dead? Ask. It's just that me in the background is so monotone. Also, Jim. Okay. I mean, I guess we're kind of rivals. We're both trying to control the situation. Hello, Wallace. It's me, Homer Simpson. What? You're looking for cheese? Well, there isn't any around here. There might be something in the backyard. Whoa, would you look at that? Oh, cheese. Is that a Rick and Morty teleporter? Oh, cheese, man. You better go through if you want to find the cheese. A SpongeBob, of course. There seems to be a lot of recurring characters in these games. I am the SpongeGod, and I demand that you climb up this rock and do some parkour, unless you don't want your cheese. Well, you know I do. Well, there's sands. I'm surprised that it took this long to actually find the sands. All right. Now, do I get my cheese? Oh, no, wait. Of course, it's Bob from Bob's Burgers. Hi, my name is Bob Belcher. Welcome to the world of Africa. What's that you say? You're looking for cheese? Well, so am I. You need to defeat the five evils of the world. Then you can bless the cheese down in Africa. This is just not how I saw my day going, but I woke up this morning. What the hell? Is it Bob Belcher again? What is wrong with you, Bob? All right. There's five evils in this world. This is the fourth one, and then I can bless the cheese down in Africa. That's a brand new sentence, at least. We're in church. Congrats. You are now the most holy being in the world. Ah, it was all worth it for this. All right, this adventure is over. Yeah, I'll give that a thumbs up for sheer effort alone. That was such a journey, to be honest. Rename. I can rename them. Oh, I can't pick their name. All right, I'm renaming it to Mock. Congratulations. You're the worst Pokemon. Come on, Mock, follow me. Mock is wondering what I'm doing. I'm drinking from the edge of the waterfall, Mock. If you want to be lame, you can stay back there. That's fine. But the rest of the clan is going to think you're a wuss. Oh, God, I'm falling. Mock, Mock, please. Mock, forget about what I said earlier. Please. I can't get up. I love the pose. I wouldn't mess with them. I've got my bat and good smacking it against my abs. It's abs of steel, I tell you. I don't feel a thing. And I got pepper spray. Where's that? Hold on. Okay. Don't grab there. There we go. Oh, shit. Ah, I love humans. Say, can I drink a coffee here? Hold on. Just got a big turning circle. Yummy. The shit. Why are they like sneezing in my face? He's asking me where the bathrooms are. He probably didn't realize this was such a loaded question. My guy's processing this information pretty hard. No, I didn't mean to hit you. Sorry. I was just trying to point to the bathrooms and they're behind you. Coffee, sir? Coffee? Coffee? You want coffee? This boy got here. Oh, this guy needs to be pepper sprayed. Yeah, you're drunk. There we go. I'm trying to sober him up. What about this, huh? Physical violence. I'm threatening him, but I'm actually hitting him. Like an old-timey silent movie cop. Like a child. It's terrifying. Kill it. Hey, mister. How come you don't have any hair? Is there something wrong? You little brat. How do I stun her? And your face is all weird. I think your face is the weirdest I've ever seen. Look at you. You have the same face. Why are you such an ugly pathetic blight? That's a side. Okay. This is getting too real. How do I pepper spray? Yeah, that's right. You deserve it. You little brat. There you go. Feck off. Oh, my piggies are here. Piggies. There's so many pigs. Come on, everyone. Come eat some piggies. It's on me. In fact, please eat some piggies. I'm trapped in my house. Guys, I have work. Please eat some piggies. He's too fully canny anymore. I'm trapped in my house. Please, sir, eat some piggies. Oh, no. All right. Well, since I was saved when I slept, my guy's forever trapped inside this house because of the piggies. He cannot leave. This safe pile is ruined. All right, I'll just be on my way. Sorry, folks. Oh, really? Something plugged in here. This is a hazard if I ever seen one. Let me take care of this. This game is amazing. I joined a police station. I would like to be locked up. What do you do to be locked up? I have done crimes. Okay, come. A little hurt. There we go. Damn, you got me. Lolls. Thanks, though. This is a weird game. I'm so confused what I meant to be doing. Wait, I just said when can I leave and they just disappeared. I think I've been abandoned. I've just been saying help for about five minutes and no one is coming to help me. Oh, what do you need? Help. I can't get out. Even though I voluntarily got locked up because your punishment hasn't ended. I want it to end now. Rose Baba Baba will look at your case. Who is Rose Baba Baba? What's the case? Help me. I'm really not helping the situation. I did crimes, but actually, I didn't framed by the government. It's all making sense. We need a lawyer. Had this right. You think they just kicked me from the room? Like I'm making no sense whatsoever. This guy's saying he's being framed by the government. Government bad. Can I know what charges he's inside? What can I say? What makes the least sense? Suicide. But I didn't do it. Don't laugh. Why are they lolling? Saying no one can put you in jail for that. And I'm like, that's why I need a lawyer. I was taken by force. You know, I just showed up at the station just like, can I be locked up? I did crimes. They're so confused. But I'm like, no government said I did a suicide. So debt locked me up, but it was a frame job. I am in a scent. Do you mean murder? I am not mean. I am innocent. They're just confused. At this point, either lock me up for insanity or just let me go. Can you explain to me what the government did? They locked me up. And did they say why? They said I did a suicide. By suicide, you mean you killed someone? No, I am in a scent. It was a frame. This must be so frustrating for this person. And do you have proof of that? I mean, like I'm sitting in front of you. Tell me what scent means except money? No idea. Innocent. Me. Innocent. They're like, oh, innocent. Thank you, judge. Am I free to go? This just went, I... Not yet, no. I came here to just visit some hotels. And the first thing I do is get locked up. So the government is saying you killed someone. Yes or no? Yes. They say I killed me. And they lock me up. This is so confused. Sir, you are free to go. Thanks, you. I must go kill some more people now. They're just like, I... What? I said I'm going to suicide more people, but it just censored it. So now it's a baba, baba, baba, baba, more people. She'd force his hands into some cups now. Locking this tightly. Oh God, I'm going straight back to jail, aren't I? I'm going to go, girl, I'm really good at role-playing. I would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for you. I'm back in jail. Help. Jobs determine your role in battle. Some are tailored more towards fighting, while others are better suited to healing. He's going to be a pop star. But why? I totally became a pop star. Take that slime. I've got an entourage. You're going to protect me. God, this outfit's skin tight. This is just what you need to deal with the Dark Lord's fiends. Is it done? Is it? Now, pop star turret. Go for it. Defeat the Dark Lord. This is so good. This is so just amazing. Poor little Kev is getting tagged into this mess. Ow, who stop it? I am just a small little Kev. Uncork, little Kev. Hit him with a pen again. Someone's going to get their face back and they're going to be like, oh, why is it so sore? I feel like someone hit me with a frying pan. It's going to be all flat and everything. Piece of cake, he says. See, this is the kind of wind we need. Wait, what? First air-headed quirk. What? Attack mistake. What? Wait, he's having sympathy on the goblin. He just let him go. That's turd for you. And for the other one, he's like, little Kev, uncork. Hit him with the pen and the face again. Day three of quarantine. This is so dumb. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Lift your hands and scream, boo. Boo, boo, boo. Keep it up. Oh, boo. That was fantastic. Wow, yes, it looks. Looks like when your grandfather sits there that tells you stories of the war. Didn't really see my day going like this, if I'm honest. Hold on. I don't have a license for a moped. With good reason. Oh, look at us go. The little middle fingers as I walked past. Created a horrifying atomic monster. This is so stupid. I'm not looking at the road. Reeks have it. Oh, there's a little cameo for Jim there, if you missed it. Look at us go. Everyone is played by me. This is great. Can anything stop? Oh, look at him go. One is going backwards though. Fight nature with nature. Feel your blood run cold. Perfect sync. That was amazing. That was my best work yet, if I do say so myself. Like in general in my entire life, not just on this game. I've nothing in the fridge. I think my guys just traveled 200 kilometers and then just went, I forgot to put the bait on the boat because I have nothing to catch them with. Maybe I'll just throw it in. Maybe they'll be nice crabs or suicidal crabs, one or the other. I don't know if that was a good idea. I think I was supposed to attach a boy to it, like a boy, a boy, not another boy. You know, I wouldn't kill anyone, but I mean, I don't know where it's gone now. I've lost it. It was around like here somewhere, right? Like it didn't attach it to anything. I've lost my only cage and I'm out here in the middle of the ocean. Look, this was all a bad dream. Dad, we're going to wake you up now and we're going to go on the actual journey. Oh, Jesus Christ. If that was a dream, this is a nightmare. I can't even see my hand in front of my face, probably because I don't have hands in the game, but that's besides the point. Okay, I think we're reeling it in. It took a bit of figuring out and how many crabs did I get? Can't quite see yet. We're about to find out the haul. Wait, nothing? What? How is this possible? Sure, I didn't bait it, but I left it down for like 60 hours. You think some clumsy crab would find his way in there? I have no bait. Finish season. Yes. I lost $20,000. How am I supposed to compete with Captain Russell's Scarecrow? I'm just Captain Dad down here. Yo, guys. Hey, I'm going to try my best, but my goose is being really annoying right now. So he says peace was never an option, by the way. So I'm probably like, what is this guy doing? Hold on. I can't really see my screen. My goose dragged something onto it. Come on, A. All right. No, no, I'm not actually. My goose took my cursor. Oh my God. He has the power to minimize my game now. Sorry, my goose literally minimized my game. Why the fuck did you minimize your game? It's not me minimizing it. The goose minimized the game. I like how he just understands it. He's like, oh, I goosed it. Okay, that's okay. That's normal. Happens all the time. For fuck's sake, look at them. They all went tunnels. Those should have been my kills, but my goose took them. He doesn't understand what I'm talking about. He thinks I'm just insane. Got some split personality. And one of them is called goose. I'm not trolling. I'm trying my best. Honestly, my goose is driving me insane. Okay, now he's just taunting me. He's bringing the same message up. I cause problems on purpose. The thing is, he's annoying the shit out of me, but at the same time, I kind of relate to him in a way. Like he's kind of like my spirit animal. We've very similar personalities. Okay, I got a rat in a bulldozer this time and I got a trampoline. No, I want to just flip him horizontally. All right, you know, maybe that'll work. Let me just try what happens with that. Yeah, it still works if he's upside down, so that'll do the job. Okay, yeah, now just push the ball off there. I don't know what I even expect to happen. Okay, not that. That was not on the list of things I expected to happen. What if I attach this balloon to this guy? Will he fly? No, he's just batted the fucking trampoline out of the way. Well, at least he's being airlifted to safety, so he won't die in the explosion. But now I think he's getting taken away by God. I'm stuck, so I went back to restart it, and it's distracting and helped to drop the ball softly. What part of that was soft? Okay, that was just plain murder. Oh, these are my parts, shit. No questions! Wax on! Right hand! You stupid kid! Breathe! Ah, yeah! Here you are, boy. This scene went well. This might be my best yet. Wax on! That's when I might lose the part when I started hitting the child. I have a headache, children. It might be a tumor. I don't think you're a doctor. You can't really be one to give out medical advice, you stupid child. Who is your dad, and what does- Is he a doctor? In fact, okay, I think I messed that one up. The Wizard of Oz. Can I ad-lib it? Yes, I can ad-lib it. I've always thought this- This movie could do with a bit of ad-libbing. You know, **** it up a bit. Dorothy, what are you doing in Crip territory? You're a- You're a blood. You shouldn't be here. I'm- I'm a Crip. Stay away. And stop with the crack cocaine, too. You're- What are you talking about yellow brick road? First unscripted scene. I got an achievement. Even the image I'm pointing at and flip the script. I think the director would be flipping the table. I went so off the wall with that. I asked the poop room, of course. Again, it's just too much like my childhood. I understand why I didn't play this game. Kevin, you're- What? Oh, I was just fixing my VR. I was fixing my headset after doing that weird twerk to close the door and it spilled out over my shoulder. Okay. Why is it so hard? They're so unforgiving. It's like ice on the floor you're fired. What? I forgot the napkin. Apologies, okay? Your drink's ruined. I understand. All right, I think I just need a bit more flair like when I'm doing it, you know? I just need to be slick and confident with it, even though I just over poured by about 10 mil there. See that? You know I know what I'm doing now. I'm getting affected everywhere except in the glass. I'll flip the lime into a tube. Flip the lime into- Okay, there we go. Add a straw. I'll add a straw and you're done. Thanks for taking money off me as a tip. I appreciate it. Perfect sake. Hold on. I can't really see my screen. My goose dragged something onto it. Come on, eh? All right. No, no, I'm not actually. My goose took my cursor. Oh, for fuck's sake. He's minimized my game. Back off, dude. I hope you enjoyed the weird games. I hope you did anyway. If you're here, I assume you like weird games and you like weird things and weird people, weird person. But now it's time for something a little bit different. No, Vin, not you. Come on, dude. It's my Christmas special and everyone's just going to be thinking about exhaust fumes and Vin Diesel if you keep popping up. It's time for something a little bit different by- by me. Me this time. See, even the horse is pissed. Welcome to Ireland. Did you remove that pier, those two piercings? They're making a- Take out our piercings. Oh, that's fantastic. Sure, Mary, isn't that one of the Ten Commandments? There'd be no piercings on the body or face. Jeez, you might be right on that one, John. Let's rip them out. You see what I mean? You see, this is the problem with other countries. They're trying to report on sad stuff and like current affairs and politics. If you just talk about fecking sheep, well- Hold on. Let's not talk about fecking sheep, all right? Don't quote me on that. I'm talking about if we just talked about sheep. Everyone can get behind that and I don't mean the sheep. Stop thinking that way. Get your mind out of the gutter. Ireland's oldest drover. Why is it always about sheep? Stop hitting that sheep. Leave them alone. This is why they're running away. You see, the news can't be depressing if you can't understand what they're talking about. Well, unless he starts hitting sheep again. Oh, God, get down, everyone. Everyone dives for the cover. Oh, they got him down in the pit with his birthday cake and everything. Now, this is hard-hitting journalism. This looks really strange. It's like they have the people in the pen and they're selling them or something. Or there's going to be some kind of cage fight and honestly, if it's all these people versus this 190-year-old man with his sheep stick, I'm betting on the sheep stick. It's a big day. We've been looking at this for a number of years. So what's the rate that's happened then? We're now hit the 9 seconds. 10 seconds. 9, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2. Honestly, for most jobs in Ireland, you don't need to count. That's why we have calculators. Like not to add stuff up, but you can just look at it and go 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. They're all listed there for you. It makes it really easy. 1.6 million euro last year. This is checking in to make sure we're okay. Would you like a cup of tea? Blessing your feed with this piped T7. By Christ, is that a piped T7? I haven't seen a piped T7 yet. I thought they were still on the piped T6. Jesus, the speedoff. It is unbelievable. You'd have to feel plowed and you'd be home for 10 by 6 p.m. And here's with all this daylight savings. Nonsense, you'd want it too. Slow to shite really made by the TDs. Should they be getting way too much money for putting all these laws in? If you're bringing in daylight savings, time where does it end like? Sure ways well make nighttime, start at midday. Sure anything to inconvenience the public. Why we vote them in, I wouldn't know. I'm tapping into my 100% Irish self. I'm on the Irish Dragons Den YouTube channel and I'm just seeing their thumbnail is so much better than mine. Look how dramatic this is. Then some of them are really weird. Like look at this, look at his face. Satan has sent me to steal your invention. This reaction. Oh my God, their faces. Oh God, look at this. Whatever this invention is, I'm assuming it causes instant orgasm. Jesus Christ, I cannot resist clicking on that one. Look at it, it's terrifying. Oh yeah, how much? Sorry, but it's just like, that was like the British version or like any other version. It would have been like, this is a great thing you're doing. I absolutely love it. Can I just get down into the business side of things? Can we discuss like the cost price and what you expect to sell them for and what your gross profit is? The Irish one, he's just like, how much? I need something strong here. I need to see someone get investments because it's crushing my soul right now. So I went for it. You're selling sperm in a bottle over the internet in quotes. I think this could be a strong one. He just walks into the room and he like sets on zipping. I'm out, I'm out. Me too. If I see an animal I like, the next thing I do- Okay, stop. Just stop, okay? Just move on to the next part, okay? Can you strip it back for me, Jude, okay? Why do you keep saying stop like this? Stop it. He's got great beef character, you know, of the breed. What? He's upheaded, he carries himself. He's good looking and he knows. Oh my God, that is no amazing sentence about a bull. He carries himself. He looks good and he knows it. And you say I'd like to, you know, buy some of Perfect Storm's Perfect Juice? I'm done. Oh jeez, I'm not going to add anything. I'm just going to keep going. There's still, I'm only like halfway through this. Okay, keep going. Talk about his Perfect Juice more. Do you ever return his policy? What? What is that kind of question? It's 40 euro. And how can you return it if you- I think you need to learn about the bulls and the bees, mister. Nobody wanted to get their hands on Jude's bull semen. Oh God, why did you have to say it like that? Oh, the honeycomb maze. This thing is fucking terrifying, honestly. I don't know why anyone would want to do this show. But look at all of them. They look so eager. They're ready to be tortured. They remind me of my sims. Smiling while the world burns around them. But look how terrifying this thing is. Like they're just running through doors, getting chased by these monsters in a maze. And you can't go slow. So if you run through and it's water, you just fall right in. It's terrifying. Oh my God, what are they doing to them? Like you'd never sleep again. If this happened to you, look at that guy. It's so scary. Oh, they're letting her go. Oh, no, wait. No, they're not. I don't think you could do this stuff anymore. What the hell? Like if you took that clip and just put it black and white, maybe put a little bit more static, the show hasn't off as it is, but a little bit more static, then added some texts saying like torture footage from the Irish Civil War. I know they don't look Irish, but hey, it'll be so static that you won't be able to tell. But you'd almost believe it's legit. Oh, that's fine. We're on to karaoke. This will calm us down. I love a bit of karaoke. I hope they sing all the hits like all-star. Or I'm a believer. Anything that Smash Bros. sings, I'm totally down for. Oh my God, even at karaoke, they're still falling over. They get everyone drunk before this. Guaranteed. Like you'd have to be drunk to agree to all these. Oh my God, is she going to do some reggae with that hat? I think that's reggae. I don't know what's happening. I hope you enjoyed. It's always nice to do something a bit different. That's something I really want to do in the new year. I've already bought some things that I'm like, this could make a cool video, and I could do something a bit different, maybe some in real life stuff as well. I'd just like to get into that, because I think if I get used to it, I could make some weird stuff. And that's always the dream. And there's no better way to prove it than showing some of the new characters that came along this year. We expanded the Kevin Cinematic Universe quite a bit this year, and I'm really happy about that, because I feel like we've come up with some interesting creatures. I hope you enjoy taking a look at some of our new characters. I just appreciate the silence for a brief minute. TURK! TURK! TURK! TURK! Fire! TURK! TURK! TURK does not conform to your demand. TURK does not understand wheel. How is it supposed to drive? Wait, Kevin, give us the etymology of TURK. TURK smart. TURK good. That's about it. Oh, lads. Who's in front right now, because I got a blue shell? Dahee's in front. Use it now! Use it now? Use it! It's going. TURK's just happy to be involved. You just gave Dan the wind, Kevin. TURK's just happy to have made an impact. I motivate myself by chanting TURK now. It reminds you that someone is doing worse. Will I use blue shell? Yes. Blue shell, coming. TURK! Thank you for having the decency to these tasks. It bought me time. TURK have manners? TURK doesn't understand fire, but he understands common decency. TURK, you've got to be better, TURK. I can't. That's the whole point of TURK. Don't worry, I got autopilot on. Oh, my God. I did it. You guys are so shit. All right. I'll see if I can create TURK. It's going to be pretty damn hard to be honest. Look at his face. He doesn't like how he's evolving. This is evolution. Okay, these things happen. Oh, my God, he looks like an egg. This is all it looks like when he came out of the shell when he was produced. Wait, is that... Is it calling out what it is? Oh, how do you say your name? Yes, yes, TURK. It's TURK. Oh, the game does not like saying TURK. Is this me? Okay, definitely not. But move ahead. Looks gentle, relaxed, kind and honest, sensitive and innocent, softy, a born mood maker. Their happiness rubs off on everybody. Honestly, that's pretty accurate. Everybody loves TURK. Relax, Kevin, relax. Your therapist said that me, Jim Pickens, can't hurt you. But me, Jim Pickens, really looks like he's going to hurt me. God, that is... He's fecking terrifying, honestly. He's going to haunt my dreams. Oh, my God, look at him go. He's a leader! They say he's a leader! Oh, that is so accurate. What the hell? Some good and bad things happen today. It was all pretty normal. Oh, TURK, what happened? No, don't go that close. Oh, what are you doing? What are you doing? Back up, back up. I'm practicing. Did he spraxie making funny faces? Dude, you don't need to practice. You've mastered it. Stop it. Fuck you. What? Is he thinking about hanging himself? What is that? Why did he say fuck you to me? TURK is just rolling along his empty floor. Why are their personalities so accurate? There you go. Your default default. Everything is neutral. There we go. Their catchphrase is I feel neutral. What gesture will you do? Nothing. That's perfect. There we go. Perfect. If you give a song to me, we'll sing it. Oh, fantastic. You can even change the lyrics. I cry alone. Here's the first word. Is this the whole song? So can I edit this? Oh my God, he's good. You make my heart beat at normal rate. Yeah. We have a little bit of time. Oh my God, he's just off to the side there. What? Oh, bravo. Well done, Turk. Fantastic. Oh, I'm crying. And there you have it. I really hope we can get time without your life going again at some point in the new year. I really, really enjoyed it. But for those of you that don't visit my streams, shame on you. You've ruined Christmas. No, that's fine. I know streams aren't for everyone. For those of you that don't visit my streams, you may have missed me mention that the save file actually got corrupted. Someone was kind enough to give me the QR codes. I'm trying to get them working and trying to get that back on track. Because I'd like to do a few more videos on it. It was very, very fun. But guys, we're coming to the end of our Christmas special. I'm very sorry. I don't know how long this is. It's probably too long. But for me, it feels like we're just getting started. And I hope that in terms of what we're doing here on the channel and the community, we are just getting started. I'd like to do this many, many more times. Many, many more Christmases cursed by me. I'm just extremely thankful. And I think this year, more than ever, it hits me all the time how lucky I am to be in the position I'm in. And that's only because you're supported me and what I do and watching my stuff. And honestly, it's just like, it's amazing. I know it sounds so cliche because everyone's like, thank you so much, guys. I'd be nothing without you. Jesus, you're just the best. And everyone says it. It's like a cliche. But honestly, I'm just so thankful for what I'm doing and for what I'm able to do and for having you guys watch my stuff and just enjoy it. And it fills me with great joy to do what I do. It really does. I wake up every day and I make a video and four times a week I do my streams. I'm just so deep in this world. This is like everything that I do, but I enjoy it so much. And that's all because of you guys who enjoy my content. Give me feedback on my content and encourage me, whether it be in the videos or the streams or social medias or anything of that. I'm just hugely grateful that you support me. So thank you very much. I hope you enjoyed this video. Merry Christmas to you. Happy holidays. Happy day if you don't celebrate anything. Hope you're having a good day. That's about it, guys. I'm going to let you go. But before that, I'm just going to give you a quick little story. I made an animated story this year. It actually, it took a lot of time to get that done. But it's an animation. The animator will be in the description and it's based on a story I wrote many, many years ago. And we're going to watch the whole thing in entirety before finishing the video. But that's the last you'll see from me for today. So I guess I'll see you tomorrow. Thank you so much for watching. Again, I am hugely grateful. And yeah, I hope you enjoy my story. Merry Christmas, everyone. Thank you. The supermarket monster. Once in a place far away, a very long time ago, there was a boy named Roger. He was tall but a bit round. He lived in a big city where unusual things seem to happen every day. For example, his uncle died. Anyway, Roger had lots of enemies in the city. All the people he used to like were now his enemies because he's changed. He used to be a really successful banker named Ron, but he decided to go another way and now he is a hobo named Roger. Because of this, his friends thought they didn't like him anymore. So they said, you're our enemy now. And Roger was like, oh no, I have no friends, but loads of enemies. Roger lives day to tomorrow by the change he gets off strangers outside McDonald's. But sometimes he, when he gets enough money, he goes to the local shopping center called Teco. He can only buy things when they are on sale, so he oinely buys things when they are on sale because he doesn't have any much money. Sometimes he even gets enough change to buy chicken when it's on sale and he goes into KFC and says, can you cook this for me? And they do it because they are his enemies and spit in the food. Yuck. Today, on the most windy and stormy and rainy and cloudy and sad of days, he decided he needed to eat and went to Teco. When he went inside, there was no baskets. This was weird. Roger taught that that must be guiving them a break today, so he kept going. He saw that the bread was on sale, so he was going to buy it. And then and big fat hairy man ran up to him and said, no, that not for all you. And he took the sale sign away, which made the bread go back up to $100,000. This is all in the future, so that's normal for the future. Roger made a face similar to this and he said, but if you don't give me that, I will stirve. And the fat man laughed and his fat went bouncy from laughing. Then one of Ron's enemies died, so Ron felt his anger rising. That happens when his enemies die and he punched the man so hard that his fat fell off and the man was so angry that he cried blood. Then the lights went out so fast that Roger knew he was going to be murdered. A black mist came out of the cereal boxes and the bacon was flying everywhere. Pancake mix splashing over the counters, freezers freezing at higher temperature than normal so that it was freezing the frozen pizzas too much. Ron ran way far away to that aisle that's always full of people. It has like loads of sweets and crisps. Yummy. There was like 10, no wait, 15 monsters there, all black with eyes oogieing with blood and tears that looked like bacon but were actually dead people's skin. He screamed, fat man, help! But when the fat man came or he said you punched my fat and now you will pay. I am your enemy. And then he ran and went inside a freezer but forgot that the freezer froze too hard now and he died from freeze. Roger ran to an exit and was almost out when he tripped on something. He looked down and saw his enemy saying help me, the pancakes were too string. And then he said, no I am Roger, you are Ron's friend, not mine, smelly. And he ran out the door. He was safe. He got out. He escaped. He avoided death. He was alive. He was tall. He was safe. He was Roger. Then he went back in for the bread but forgot about the monsters. So when he got the bread the monsters came out between the slices and cried blood from their mouths saying we are your enemies, Ron. He said how do you know all my old name? And then they ate him and he just fell down on the floor crying from death. His last words were, I am all your enemies. Then he fell down and died. Just before he died he said I will now be a supermarket monster. So when you are in a supermarket remember that Ron is waiting. In the future though because it's in the future remember. You like it?