 From Hollywood the CBS radio workshop This is radio Rhodesia broadcasting on the mega micro and strato beams We take you now to the Ethnical Museum of Antiquity at Kenya and our correspondent dinar. Geb Come in dinar. Geb Standby, please. We are trying to get through Radio Rhodesia to dinar. Geb in Kenya come in dinar get CBS radio presents the CBS radio workshop Dedicated to man's imagination the theater of the mind Some weeks ago the workshop presented a pride of carrots in which the novelist Robert Nathan described the planet Venus as it might appear to modern man In the broadcast you are about to hear mr. Nathan describes our culture as it might appear to the man of 6,000 years from now Based upon the story in the current issue of Harper's magazine. Here is mr. Nathan's report on the weekends This is dinar geb speaking from the great hall of the Ethnical Museum of Antiquity at Kenya If my voice sounds a little strange to you It's because I've become infected with the excitement of the scholars Gathered here to receive the reports from the field expeditions on the great west continent As you know as part of the worldwide celebration of this astrophysical year of 79 56 AD Teams of archaeologists have been working for months in the tumuli or city mounds of the uninhabited continent Our staff correspondents are with them now at the tumulus of Enyak at Shahagol at loose angles and at pound laundry In just a moment. You'll hear them in person But first standing beside me at this microphone is Sra Bahan Bullock Chancellor of education and curator of the museum Sra Bullock would you care to give our listeners some hint as to what discoveries may be announced today? No, sir. I gave that would be cheating Yes, I suppose it would But I will say this I believe we all agree that we have come a great distance in understanding the winds Since the first artifacts were dug up in the city mound of Boxdin Or as some prefer to pronounce it, Boston nearly 200 years ago They're the ones in this case, are they not? That's right An ivory cross attached to some beads and a rusted iron wheel apparently designed to run along some kind of track But alas, scarcely enough upon which to postulate a culture or project a civilization And so for more than a century the Great West Continent has kept its secret But during that time other discoveries were made, were they not? Oh yes, from time to time hunters, prospectors and other adventurers returned from that deserted and forbidding land with fragments of scrolls But they were completely meaningless hieroglyphs until the discovery some years ago of the talking disc of Olien's Olien's That's the city mound at the extreme south of the Great West Continent, isn't it? Exactly, at the mouth of the immensely wide dry river, the Mrs It was there in the winter of 7940 that an expedition under my esteemed colleague Han Shui discovered the disc in an astonishing state of preservation Since the disc of Olien's gave us our first indication of the identity of the people of we, I thought perhaps it would not be inappropriate to hear it now An excellent idea, is that the original you have there? Oh my no, this is a copy, a transcription of it, the original is never removed from the vaults of the museum, but it is a faithful copy, listen And theans knows too, down deep in theans' hearts, that winds ain't going to let theans tell us since how to run things down here We all can manage josson's own affairs, but no damn yanking from the north is going to tell us it's nothing Well, that's mighty interesting Shraabolik, mighty interesting, but what does it mean? Well, it's actual meaning is obscure, but don't you realise that this human voice speaking to us from 6000 years ago has uttered the sound of every letter symbol in all the glyphs and scrolls we have discovered We know now, thanks to the great deductive scholarship of Srahan Shwee, that these people who so often inscribed their scrolls with the letters U-S-A referred to themselves as weans We did not know how to pronounce U-S-A prior to the discovery of the disc of Olien's, now we know that Usan's is incorrect and the symbols U-S-A are properly pronounced weans Thank you, Sraabolik I believe Srahan Shwee is at the city mound of Shago right now, with our Radio Rodizio reporter, Hulae Benaker Take it away, Hulae This is Hulae Benaker at the Shagoe excavation And here is the distinguished professor and dean of the Advanced School of Primitive Languages of Kenya University, Srahan Shwee Greetings to my colleagues in the field as well as back home This is indeed a great and proud day for me I have found another disc, just as the talking disc of Olien's gave us the secret of the weans language I believe the singing disc of Shagoe may indicate what the music of the weans was There seems to be an inscription on the disc, Sraashwee, what does it say? It is somewhat unclear, the nearest I can make out it says, Blue Sweshu by Avis Paisley Sold a million copies What does it mean? I haven't the slightest idea, but let's listen to the music That's music? Primitive, isn't it? Most rudimentary Yes, but I'd hardly call it music Hello, Han Shwee Hello, French Shwee Can you hear me? Yes, who is it? Von Bollack at Kenya Congratulations on your find Oh, thank you, my old friend But I'm afraid you're mistaken I'm mistaken? Yes, that's not music That's a religious ceremony What? Yes, you have misread the inscription It is not Avis Paisley It must be Iphos Fressley Fressley? Yes, don't you remember my translation of the Enyok scroll regarding a great religious festival? I quote And Fressley threw his head back and commenced And did cause them by rock and roll To give out cries and screams loudly in the aisles and corridors All in syncope Ah, you are right as always, Von Bollack I had thought it was music I doubt if the Wiens had any music But your find is more important For it proves they had a religion And now after that unscheduled but exceedingly interesting interchange Between two longtime friends and associates We continue our report on the Wiens From the far edge of the continent Our next pickup is from loose angles Or as some translators prefer Loose ankles at the edge of the great western ocean We take you there now The next voice you will hear will be of our staff correspondent Yush Ertebi Nika and Shahago This is Yush Ertebi speaking to you from the excavations Near the bleak brown hills of loose angles And here beside me is the head of this particular expedition And the only woman scientist participating Sres Besnev, the brilliant dean of advanced femininity At the University of Zagora Hello there I was most interested in the comments Serah Bahan Bollack just made upon the Religious significance of the find at the Shahago dig Because out here we too have come upon objects Which have for the first time Let us to believe that the Wiens did indeed Have a primitive religion You are referring to the golden idols? Precisely Repeatedly in the kitchen middens Of smaller communities surrounding loose angles We have dug up these small gilded statues Cast away among the pottery sherds and other refuse The presence of so many of the golden fetishes Indicates beyond a shadow of a doubt The existence of a considerable cult of Oskar as our translation of certain scrolls Proved the gods' name to be So for several months we've been searching For the temple of this god Particularly in this area of holy wood Which by its very name indicates That it was once a place of veneration and worship I believe I can safely report to you today That we have unearthed the temple of Oskar It is not large as temples go But it is distinguished from all the others In archaeological history in one important respect You see one expects to read the record Of vanished races on the walls Or frescoed ceilings of ancient temples Here the record has been placed on the floor The court is laid out in squares And in each square are the imprints of feet And hands and words What do they signify? My specialty is archaeology, not hieroglyphs But my guess is that they were incantations To the god Oskar The footprints were perhaps those of his priests Or perhaps sacrificial victims Can you translate any of them? Well I can try Here's one that says Gloria Svansson utter gibberish Look at this one There's the imprint of what looks like spectacles Yes, that one says Har old yoid And there's one which looks like a large human nose Jim, me, dur, and e Wouldn't that appear to indicate that these Were sacrifices rather than priests? Oh, quite possibly Certainly some of them at least appear To have been put through a humiliating ordeal To prove their devotion to this ancient god Oskar Thank you, Suresh Besnev And now this is Yush Ehrtebi Returning you to Dinargeb in Kenya Back once more at the Great Hall of Kenya Museum Sraab Bolak has been joined by his colleague Sraab Bukong of the Libya Academy Of Geophysical Sciences Well, Sraaz, what do you think Of the field reports so far? Splendid, splendid They substantiate my theory That the weans had at least a semblance of culture Sraab Bolak, to me, your theory is as unconvincing As your translation of the name of the wean capital Pound laundry, indeed Well, how else would you translate it? The glyph for washing means laundry And the wean glyph ton Stands for a unit of weight, hence pound Pound laundry You couldn't say washing ton It wouldn't make any sense Though I must confess, we have never learned What was washed at pound laundry Yes, well, Sraaz, this is most interesting But I'm informed that the expedition at the Enyak site Is ready to make its report So we take you now to the city mound of Enyak And our radio rodigier correspondent, Kaoli Di Speaking from the Enyak dig A hundred feet below the surface Believe me, Sraaz, in stresses in just a moment You may be witnessing a great historic occasion But here is the head of the Enyak expedition Sraab Obergerst Levy to tell you about it himself Thank you, Kaoli Di We have been digging downward along this gallery For nearly a week And at last we have arrived at the sealed door Which may well be the entrance to a tomb Above it is a glyph which translates phonetically As mace's bargain basement Seems to be meaningless Nevertheless, we shall break through this door now And attempt to describe to you What, if anything, we find beyond You may begin, men Easy there, easy What's that? I don't know, Sraali Di As soon as the glass door was broken A warning, perhaps It's frightening No nonsense I remember reading about what happened to the men Who violated the tombs of the Egyptian pharaohs Do you really think these winds Can reach out across six thousand years and harm us? No, Sra, not really But still one wonders Proceed with the opening Yes, Sra Sraali Di, what do you think you may find here? I have no idea Throw a light down there Well What is it, Sraali Di? We shall see Come Yes, it is indeed a tomb A tomb? Yes Look Will you look On these racks here Garments Strange ancient garments Coats of fur Capitalistic symbols One, nine, eight Reduced from two to five Yes, and over there Tiny effigies Tiny wagons And here Bold and cooking pots in perfect condition There appear to be more chambers beyond Is there any indication of sarcophagi or mummies? None so far, Sra Mummies? Yes, yes You will recall that it was the custom of many Ancient people to bury their kings Along with their retinue And their household goods To assure them comfort and companionship In the next world The Egyptians were most advanced in these matters Up until now I'm afraid I don't follow you completely, Sraali Di And I'm sure our listeners would like a further explanation Oh, dear me, dear me We are on the air, aren't we? I quite forgotten Excuse me, Sraals and Sresses I've been carried away by the amazing Significance of this find We have obviously penetrated the tomb Of a great king, Pharaoh President Whichever translation you prefer Of the Wiens A ruler named Macy Excuse me, Sraali Di You have found the mummy of Macy? No, but in this next chamber Something most strange Great eyes, come Great eyes This is indeed a strange And wonderful sight, Sraals and Sresses We are moving now From the main chamber of the tomb Into a side chamber And now our light beams Are reflected by rows and rows Of gigantic glass eyes Each in its own polish box What are they, Sraa Obelger, Sleavy? I don't know Each of them has a dial with numbers on it Now, let me see The dial is numbered from 1 to 13 Of mystic significance, no doubt Ah, ah, ah, it turns Yes, but nothing happens True, but we are not Wiens These strange Cyclopian boxes Must have held great significance for them See, Sraali Di Here on the wall is a glyph Ah, yes, yes 1956 Model CBS Tell Eve is on Utterly meaningless But see, the pictograph A wean and his she-wean sit before the box And in the box is the face of another wean Yes, indeed Then they were eyes of some sort But did the weans watch the eye Or did the eye watch the weans? Ah, these are questions that only exhaustive research Can answer But, Sraali Di, can you hazard a guess Why so many of these eyes have been put in the tumor The potentate may see A guess, yes, but only a guess He must have been a man so vain That even after death He wished to watch through these eyes What his people were doing Or he wished through these eyes That his people could watch him Who knows Oh, indeed And now, Sraali Obelger-Sleevy Would you say that the discovery of this tomb of may see Overshadows in importance Your unearthing of the great lintel And your translation of its message Which has indicated how the weans met their end? Indeed, I would We had hoped to broadcast from the site of the temple But, of course, we can't be two places at once No, no, no, we can't But, Sraali Bahan Bullec Back home at the museum Already has my report on the temple's inscription I'm sure he will be glad to give it Frankly, I am unwilling to tear myself away From all these ancient splendors I quite understand, Sraali V So this is Kaoli D At the tomb of may see in Enyok Returning you to the Kinyu Museum And Dina Gheb Thank you, Kaoli D And Sraali Obelger-Sleevy For an exciting remote And now, Sraali Bahan Bullec I wonder if you'd be good enough To follow Sraali V's suggestion Suggestion? Yes, the report on the temple inscription At Enyok Yes, of course I must confess, I was so carried away With the magnitude of this newest find I'd quite forgotten Well, now for the other great discovery Of Sraali Obelger-Sleevy We now have definite proof Of how the weans perished For weeks, Sraali Obelger-Sleevy Has been excavating a great temple Not far from where he has now Discovered the tomb of may see Last week, he gave me in all confidence The intelligence he has now Asked me to divulge On the lintel of this temple He has found this fragmentary glyph Which he translates as follows Snow, nor rain, nor gloom of night There are pointed rounds That is pretty obscure Well, Sraali Bukong It is incomplete Some of the hieroglyphs are missing There are pointed rounds What does that mean? First, you must realise, Sraabukong That the R and the W Are readily interchangeable In both the Hittite and the Hivite languages You will then admit This may be so in the ancient Wean language For the sake of argument Very well then Instead of their appointed rounds The phrase may well mean Their pointed wounds May it not? It might, but what about the rest of it? Well, the word nor Can be considered north And the word gloom Could be translated doom And night fright Then what have you gone? The tragic story Of the end of the Weans The north snow, the north rain The north doom of fright Their pointed wounds In other words, invaders from the north Have annihilated the inhabitants That sounds pretty glib to me Not when you remember The talking disc of Olines Let me recall those historic And prophetic words to you The Weans now are what our sons want And we all have got to get it And our damn Yankee from the north Is going to tell us nothing Notice the obvious reference to the enemy Damn Yankee from the north Oh no, there's no question about it North snow, north rain, doom of fright Yes, the Weans perished By the wounds of the north But tell me this then, Sir Abolic How did they have time To inscribe this account of their annihilation On a great marble temple Before they were annihilated? But that's the obvious part of it We know that Enyok was the most popular city In the great west continent And why? Because at the end It was bursting with refugees One by one the great cities fell To the doom of fright from the north Shargo, loose angles, or ankles Olines, pound laundry Enyok, an island bastion Was the last to fall Knowing the fate of the others The Weans built this temple And inscribed upon its great lintel their fate So that we, who came later Might understand what happened to them Eh, eh, sounds reasonable But there is one more question What is that? We have read much in their scrolls Of a city more important Than any of those we have excavated Miltown? Yes, Miltown What about Miltown? Our expeditions have searched and searched But they have found no trace Of a city called Miltown Strange, exceeding strange Yes I dare say we will never know Anything more about the Weans But we now know enough To evaluate them as a minor culture With a rudimentary religion Devoted to a god named Oscar Was worshipped by rocking and rolling They enjoyed their brief moment in history Established their hegemony In the land of Wee By killing off the Aborigines They evidently built their empire Such as it was by the sword And when the sword rusted They died by another's Even as Egypt and Babylon And Greece and Rome Leaving behind them curious city mounds A splendid tomb And no music Sick, transit, Gloria, Weans Thank you, Sra Bahan-Bolek And thanks also to our scientists, archeologists, commentators, and announcers Who have made possible this report on the Weans The greatest single event Of this astrophysical year of 7956 AD This is Dinar Geb Speaking to you from the great hall Of the Ethnical Museum of Antiquity at Kenya Returning you to the main studios of Radio Rhodesia The CBS Radio Workshop is produced and directed in Hollywood By William M. Robeson Report on the Weans by Robert Nathan Appears in the current issue of Harper's Magazine The radio version was written by Mr. Robeson And Fran Van Hardsfeld Scientists and commentators of 6,000 years from now Included June Foray, Byron Kane, Dawes Butler, Edgar Berrier, Jay Novello, Joe Kearns, Joe DeSantis, and Hans Conrad Next week from New York The CBS Radio Workshop will present The Growth of Our Nation The Story of the Development of America Told in Sound Effects Be with us then, won't you? Every Sunday evening Current events come into sharper focus As prominent Washington personalities Are interviewed by a battery of top flight reporters On the CBS Public Affairs feature Face the Nation Here, Face the Nation Over most of these same stations tonight Stay tuned for suspense Which follows immediately Over most of these same stations