 Turn with me in your Bibles to the song of Solomon chapter 2 And we're gonna look at verse 15. I Never had this happen before but so it happened that means that there could be some in here I didn't say the book of Psalms. I Said the song of Solomon Chapter 2 if you don't know where that is Just go to table to contents and didn't do go right there to the page The song of Solomon chapter 2 We are going to look at verse 15 That's it. Just a one verse and we're gonna dive in have some fun Y'all don't seem like y'all too much away first service a little more lively than y'all y'all y'all wait Y'all have y'all cup of coffee? Whatever It's still just a few y'all clapping y'all Yeah, y'all making it hard for a brother up here. You know I'm saying good grief song of Solomon chapter 2 and verse 15 and father we come Before you as humbly as we know how you're king of kings and Lord of lords You're the one who sent Jesus to pay the ultimate price for our sin on the cross And dear God, I pray that you would unclog our ears so we can hear What you're gonna say to us today that you will soften hearts So the seed of the word of God may go upon good soil and bear fruit some 30 some 60 and some 100 fold And dear God, I just pray your spirit will come upon us Lord so we can be not just hearers of your word But doers you said this man and woman will be blessed in what he does and so Lord we do pray once again Lord for those precious couples making their way back and for pastor David and Marie That your blessings will be upon them. Oh God. Oh, Lord. What a great responsibility To Overseas such a great church as this so Lord we pray your blessings now upon us in Jesus name. Amen song of Solomon chapter 2 we're gonna look at verse 15 and The title of this message is beware of foxes beware of foxes so You know, so some of you don't think that this is just a Couples thing and you know, maybe you're single and Stuff like that. Hey, we're gonna we're gonna hit everybody. Everybody's gonna be hit So you don't have to say let me pack up and go and wait for pastor David next week I can pack up and leave now. Everybody's gonna get hit today Everybody's gonna get a little touch of this So beware of foxes now a fox is known to be cunning sneaky and sly So there are some things or people that Satan uses to to slip their way into our Relationships into our marriages and in our walks with the Lord and they come in and their slide They they're sneaky and they are very slippery and we got to be aware of these things This is why we come to church we come to church to worship God But we come to church to be instructed on how to become more like Jesus Christ We come here not just to be hearers of the word but to be a doer And so we're gonna get some instructions on some things that that can act as a Fox that can slip in and Cause major problems. Look what it says there in verse 15. It says Catch us the foxes the little foxes that spoil the vines for our vines have tender grapes We know the song of in the song of Solomon Solomon is They him and the shulamite woman they are married and they are looking back on the time by which they They date it by which the time that they had issues. They got married. They So they're married looking back And here it is in this part of the song of Solomon notice It says catch us the foxes the little foxes that spoil the vines See the worst thing that you can have in your vineyard is a fox Because he would eat the blossoms and you would never get a bud, which means that you would never get a grape So you want to keep foxes out of your vineyard? And so too you want to keep foxes out of your Relationships because it will keep it from blooming it will keep it from maturing and become God honoring so at this particular time They will build a wall around the vineyards for the purpose of keeping that little fox out So with this in mind we we see that there can be problems in any and all Relationships little foxes can get into the vineyard of our lives and the vineyard of of our Relationships and marriages And but I want to bring something to your attention notice how it is the woman Asking the man to take the initiative and Solving the problem. She said honey you catch us The foxes the little foxes That's spoiling or can spoil the relationship There are foxes that can potentially get into every relationship and seek to spoil it We will look at four of them now. I said four, but the Lord revealed a fifth one to me this morning So I have in my notes for But we really gonna look at five or four and maybe a bonus So Roman numeral number one for you No-takers the first fox that can get in that can spoil any relationship is number one the fox of unresolved conflict Unresolved conflict when I was younger. I was really good at ping-pong The purpose of me hitting the ball over the net is so the other person can hit it back so if the person either walks away from the table or Ignores the ball all together. It shows me that this particular person is not playing according to the rules And a lot of couples have this problem in their relationship and someone in the relationship is not playing according to the rules We see two ways people deal with conflict a By ignoring the conflict They walk away from the conflict And nothing gets Resolved The other person feels like they're alone in the relationship. They are being ignored This is a bad communicator in the relationship, but the person the person who Just walks away what they think they think that they are keeping the peace and Men that's usually us We get to a point when you're my age and older. I mentioned this yesterday. You don't have much fight left in you testosterone is gone You had nothing left so what you do is you walk away in order to keep the peace Because you don't want hurricane your wife's name to wreak havoc on the home So you do whatever you can to keep the peace when we were younger we put up a fight Testosterone pumping through our blood and we're putting up a fight Then you get our age and older You know one of the things is one of the things is our motto is we just want peace And so we'll do anything to keep the peace. However, what happens is This is the problem you develop You develop a habit of walking away from conflict You have a habit of sweeping things under the rug and putting your head in the sand hoping that the problem goes away hoping that The hurricane dies down Hoping that the lava from the volcano stops running and The problem didn't go away watch this the problem went unresolved and Man, this is normally us This is normally us we We got this bad When conflict comes We just the wife wants to talk and we We result to a caveman mentality Honey, I need to talk, huh? What can we just talk a man? and we just grunt and And and and what we do is that or we continue Watching TV or we continue on our phones and we just continue and what you know and when you're my age and older you you surfed through the social media with this finger And you just keep it you just keep it going and Ladies, can I just can I help you here? I just want to help you. I'm your friend I came all the way from Virginia to help you. I did I really did The time to talk is not doing sports center the NFL game March madness The World Cup That's not the time to talk you come in with some deep issue Some deep thing about the relationship let that man watch sports center It's not time to talk during that time that you want to get all deep and then you stomp off Because you never listen to me You're right not doing this time March madness is on And all the men said amen even Solomon Who wrote not only this book? He wrote another one called the book of Ecclesiastes in chapter 3 verse 1 even he said there's a time for everything under the Sun and That's not the time to come bring up some deep financial relationship issue During sports center He said there's a time for everything under the Sun Also, when I was playing ping-pong I was really good at it Talked to a man after first service. He said I still play ping-pong. He's I'm about to go play this afternoon. I said whoa I said man, he was easily in his 70s, I said man, you still getting it done. He said, yeah I said, okay. Okay. I said what I used to do I Used to play everyone with my left hand and if I got beat Which was rare I Will say Okay, now. Let's really play And he looked at me. He said really I said, yeah, why used to do it like that So when I was playing ping-pong ping-pong and what I would do the way I will win I make you beat yourself and I just hit it back and just hit it back and Watch this. This is what normally happens The person will get angry and try to slam it and Almost always they will hit the ball off the table And there are some of you who are here who deal with conflict this way This is the second way you deal with conflict be with anger with anger You explode with anger Ladies You're just like my father. You jerk Man, you're definitely not my mother and and you explode With anger Proverbs 18 verse 19 says a brother offended is harder to win than a strong city And this is why sometimes it takes days to resolve conflict and relationships Because of what this verse teaches Because I grew up in a home Where this is how my dad dealt with with conflict my dad was loud just loud And so I'm I'm loud We just loud We're talking about the game you walk past how do you think we're in the argument? No, we just discussed in the game this loud So when conflict comes my wife is more on the quiet side So when conflict come I would just get loud and now talk her and sometimes what comes with that will be anger That's That's when I was young You know every now and there's some burst of testosterone will come up and I would try to And now now all she does now is just look at me Here's the thing people deal with conflict Like there's a lot of people deal with it in anger Singles, let me talk to you for a minute singles singles singles. I know y'all there No one ever talks to us while I am now singles Put up a red flag if the person you're dating deals with conflict by stomping out Exploding with anger Hanging up the phone on you Proverbs 22 verses of 24 and 25 says make no friendship with an angry man and with a furious man do not go Why verse 25 unless you learn his ways and set a snare for your soul In other words, we become like the people we hang out with the Bible says bad company corrupts good habits Then next thing you know when you hang out like what the Bible tells us not to when you hang out with the furious angry person Then next thing you know You start snapping on people Snapping on people on the job the children Your spouse why because that's the type of person you're hanging out with and singles. Let me talk to you Let me let me let me help you here If that person you're dating deals with conflict with anger stomping out Oh and getting angry hanging up the phone that you still talking and they'd hung up on you Let me let me give you the best advice I can ever give you run Run And then you're in a restaurant and they're getting all huffy on Just check, please check check check check check please or Ladies if it's you I'll be right back. I'm gonna go get freshened up and Exit stage left He's still no she's a lot of freshened up to be doing. Well. Yeah, she does. She's at home now That's what she is. She's at the house run run See, I know for a lot of you singles and especially for you single ladies You heard these verses and they have gone in one ear not the other and you're gonna stay with that angry man Let me tell you why he explodes on you. He yells at you He's gotten physical with you and you're staying with him. You know why because you feel stuck And here's the thing. You know why you to moved in with them And what comes in we're moving in with them, you know, I really start having sex with them And you feel trapped You feel trapped Let me tell you that there's always hope with God There's always hope The Bible says in 1st Corinthians 1013 that says there is no temptation taking you but such as is common to man But God is faithful who will not allow you to be tempted above that which you're able meaning able to resist But with the temptation here it is make a way of an escape That you may be able to bear it the Lord will always make a way for you to escape of an abusive angry individual God makes a way of an escape God is talking to somebody in here He's thinking a way for you to get out of that situation Getting physical with you just an angry person The longer you stay with him you're gonna become like him He's angry. He's angry because his father was not around or his father was abusive He's angry and now he's taking that anger out on poor you and You feel trapped because you moved in and you're like, hey, it's expensive out here I can where am I gonna go God always makes a way from escape That you may be able to bear somebody needs to hear that today Because you feel like you're in a hopeless trapped situation, but God loves you and he always makes a way out Somebody needs to hear that ladies. God bless you. Somebody needs to hear that Because God's making a way for you to get out of that that explosive angry situation You don't have to stay in a bad relationship like that get out while God is speaking to you now. So We have foxes of Roman numeral number one unresolved conflict Roman numeral number two here It is the fox of premarital sex. Oh boy This is the biggest fox to look out for Because he when a couple starts hanging out and being together love wants to naturally express itself But when you give in it ruins the relationship because now sex becomes the focal point of the relationship the forbidden line I've been crossed Then guilt sets in and then Satan brings condemnation one wants to stop but the other person puts a guilt trip on on on the other person So she gives in or he gives in and now a wedge is formed in the relationship because of this fox above all other little foxes So we have Roman numeral number one unresolved conflict Roman numeral number two premarital sex It moves right into Roman numeral number three the fox of mistrust and jealousy Because sex has entered the relationship prematurely. It causes mistrust and jealousy For example, I saw you looking at her. Don't deny it Every time she gets up you're cutting your eyes over at her. I saw you And on top of that another time. Why are you late? You said you would be here two minutes thirty seconds ago And you're late See you said you'll be right back And all of these things can become a fox spoiling the relationship and Then moves right into Roman numeral number four the fox of an unforgiving spirit. This is huge right here This person refuses to accept the apology from the other Singles, can I talk to you for a moment again? Please put up a red flag and run if the person you're in a relationship with is Unforgiving and if you feel like you are God and you don't make mistakes Beware because James 2 13 says judgment is without mercy to the one who shows No mercy in other words this verse is saying if you are unmerciful Unforgiving when not if when you blow it and mess up and you will no mercy will be shown to you This is why Ephesians 4 32 says be kind to one another tenderhearted Forgiving one another even as God for Christ's sake has forgiving you Let me just say this to men be be be very sensitive be very sensitive if You have a woman who's been hurt and mistreated by someone in the past Because see what happens is she's been hurt and ladies. Let me say because you have not healed You've chased off a lot of good men Because you've become cynical You become suspicious All these things are things that has destroyed It's spring out of the hurt that you have and that you've never Never received healing from the Lord from and you've chased off a lot of good men a lot of them Because all of a sudden soon as you start dating you you know you're on a date somewhere you're looking at that girl I saw you you like he's like excuse me. Yeah, that girl just walked by. Yeah, and that dude is like Deuces I'm out of here Check check, please check He's out of here because you're suspicious you're cynical Hey, I just come to you know, I want to come in and bring healing to you I bet you did see You've never healed and you sabotage every person who would like to get to know you better And men we're no different we get hurt too You never had a father around or you're angry at the one and there's a lot of cultural things. I'm hearing about There's a lot of cultural things in the black community there's a lot of cultural things in Hispanic community the Hispanic men and and Don't show affection. Don't say I love you and all that kind of mess. It ruins the kids Don't allow your culture to ruin you You better get your identity from Christ and from the word of God not your culture You know, I know you know you all about them. Just we're men. We're men. I you better be a man There's enough women here. I told our society won't be happy until they erase men altogether or make all of us men women The devil's a liar ain't doing me like that. I'm proud to be a man But sometimes our cultural upbringing can ruin us can ruin us Because we were never told by our fathers that they love us Therefore you perpetuated and your boys never heard you say I love you never Because of some some cultural thing that you are helping to perpetuate. Oh, I didn't say this first service Somebody needs to hear this today in this service There's there's certain things about my culture my community my upbringing that I got a filter that through the word And and there's some things that are fine that we grew up with and all that kind of stuff But we got a filter that thing through this word right here And we got to be careful Because a lot of times we can chase some really good women away And we can chase some really good men away because of hurt and we never allowed Jesus to heal our wounded hearts And I'm here to tell you there's a lot I'm looking around there. There's a lot of wounded hearts here And you're angry you're upset because these men keep taking advantage of you Because you're not healed you're not whole And Jesus wants to make you whole He wants to heal your wounded heart So you're not constantly being taken advantage of by men men that those men that are out there that are predators They they can sniff out your hurt your weakness and take advantage of you and it keeps happening And keeps happening and Lord wants to heal your heart He wants to heal your heart Because he wants to make you whole the Bible says in Colossians 2 10. We're complete in him He wants to complete you And make you whole He wants to heal you of all the the anger the hurt the jealousy the suspicion He wants to heal you of all that He really does And so that moves me to Roman numeral number five or the bonus The bonus Fox This is a big one This Fox that can get into any marriage And any relationship it is Roman numeral number five The Fox on the job Or at the gym that little Fox All of a sudden there's issues at home and that little Fox With that cute little Pencil skirt she has on All of a sudden smiled at you and it felt good Or that Fox At the gym and he said oh you're doing such a great job, and you like oh Oh The next thing you know you fix up yourself a little bit action your husband like why you why you fix up to go to the gym What's wrong with you? Well, what's going on? Oh, I'm not Just you know, I just don't want to just go out just looking anyhow kind of what you're going to the gym Oh, but you know, I just yeah, just throwing a little side out there and that little Fox Men, let me tell you something if you don't tell your wife how beautiful she is If you don't tell her how she looks how special she is you love her Satan will bring a fox alone To tell her for you and Then another guy at the gym on the job or at the grocery store That Fox is starting to deposit love points in your wife's account and Definitely she will start to fix herself up a little bit extra to go to the store to the gym or to the job Just so she can get some more Love points Satan doesn't mind bringing this type of Fox your way He's really good at it because he knows what type of Fox you like If you like the real rail thing in little Fox, he bring a little rail thing Little Fox your way You're like a nice healthy curvy Fox. I think women just ought to be curvy just Here bring that Fox too and I'll tell you that's the Fox that can be most dangerous Because if you like oranges Satan is not gonna bring grapes to you He's gonna bring nice big sun-kiss oranges your way Or let me put it in terms you can understand if you like If you like avocados He's not gonna bring apples your way You like nice avocados, you know, I'm starting to become a avocado person down, you know You know when we lived here About 30 years ago when we lived here, we had six orange trees and three avocado trees We just let the avocados fall to the ground. We used to take them me and my sons and we just chuckle There's no avocados in the hood where we from we know what those things What are those things a hard shell green little dark, you know Every time I tell that up when I come out to California. They said that's straight blast for me That's almost the unforgivable sin But watch out for that Fox. That's the Fox that can be very dangerous To all of us It doesn't matter how old you are. Did you know David sinned with bear she but when he was 50 years old? So it's not like oh, yeah, that's for those young men. I'm old now. I'm 50 plus years old That's how old David was So it doesn't it doesn't matter the age Doesn't matter at all that Fox is dangerous now. Let me talk to you This last part I want to talk to you about the Fox that can get into our lives Spiritually because remember I said that the Fox comes in eat the blossom keeps it from bearing a bud and keep keeping the grape the fruit from forming The fruit that the Lord wants to form in our lives is Galatians 5 22 and 23 The fruit of spirit is love fruit singular is love. I know what you said the fruit of spirit love joy piece. Oh stop fruit Singular of the spirit is love out of agape love God's love comes joy and peace and loan-suffering goodness faithfulness gentleness kindness and self-control But this is the fruit God wants to bear in our lives, but when we allow a Fox in our lives spiritually Instead of us being loving we're unloving instead of us being kind. We're unkind Instead of us being patient. We're impatient instead of us exercising self-control. We're out of control Look at your life right now spiritually Are you out of control in some area of your life? It shows that you have allowed a Fox in your life spiritually Are you unkind? When you get in your car and get on these roads, I Don't blame y'all. I'm telling me taste I don't know how y'all do we were coming back last night. It was 10 o'clock at night I'm seeing red lights and backing people slowing up. I said what's going on at 10 o'clock at night? I Said I can't imagine 10 o'clock in the morning. It's nuts here. I don't know y'all. How do y'all do that? That's why when I when I say that's why when I wouldn't people on social media That's the Tony when you're coming back out here. I say hey happy out here this day Well, where are you gonna be and I said, you know, I'm gonna be at this church in this city. Oh, that's too far I said that's only 10 minutes from you. What do you mean? That's too far because 10 minutes may take 10 hours Because of the traffic here But when we allow a fox to get in our lives spiritually everything that the fruit of the spirit is supposed to bear in our lives we began to Experience the opposite of that Instead of being gentle we're harsh Instead of us being any of the instead of us experience joy. We experience the opposite of joy Look at your life spiritually where you are right now spiritually with the Lord if you're not bearing love Unconditional love agape love God's love if you don't experience joy and peace and long suffering and goodness and faithfulness and gentleness And kindness and self-control if you're not experiencing those things. There's a fox in your life spiritually And it is keeping your life from bearing the fruit that God wants it to bear And the Lord loves you and he wants that out of your life He wants it out and wants you to build a wall around that area. So the fox doesn't jump back in and this is why The Lord bringing these things out In our lives, let me close with this See these little Foxes That we allow unconfess Unresolved conflict being unforgiving Allowing foxes to get in our lives spiritually the Lord brought these things out because he loves us and he wants our lives to bear fruit He wants our relationship to bear fruit. He wants our marriages to bear fruit But we allow foxes to get in and to rob us of what God wants from us Singles I already told you singles. Hey You dating somebody that's an angry angry elf run You don't have to put up with that and On top of they exploding in anger Get and getting physical and there is no ring tell him deuces I'm out or if you like I said at the restaurant. I Gotta go powder my nose And here and go right through the kitchen. You're on the back door to the kid here right on out Taxi Uber or whoever You get up out of there. You don't have to put up with that Put up with that and if he's here right now, I'm telling you If you've been physical with that woman you got problems Because that woman is a daughter of the king and he don't take it too kindly you mistreating his daughters And I'm telling you right now. He's gonna get you He's gonna get you He's gonna get you trust me It's time that you know you have to be married for so long now 30 plus years for us My wife used to just say one thing to me I'm praying for you. I knew it was over. It was over for me. God was gonna get me. I knew it I was toast God was gonna get me now. I just I stay on the straight now Because she prays me God knows how to get me And God doesn't and let me tell you something. He knows how to get in contact with me. He knows my number knows where I live He don't take too kindly for me messing over his daughter. I got a I have a father-in-law in Heaven they don't take too kindly me if I mess over his daughter God's gonna get you. You better repent This is your opportunity to repent remember we come here. Hey out of all the messages to hear God brought you here to hear this You better get it right with him and finally there are some of you who have never Repented of your sin and accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior Today will should be the day of salvation for you because you cannot love that woman as Christ loved the church without experiencing that love yourself You cannot extend forgiveness With our first understanding what it means to be forgiven And today it's gonna be the day of salvation for you That's gonna be some folks available to pray with afterwards And so you can come forward and do business with God But the Lord loves you That's why he brought you here to hear this message There are some of you that's gonna be set free from some ungodly Messed up jacked up relationships and today God has given you the way of an escape so you'll be able to bear it And there are some of you right now. I'm telling singles. I've helped for those you were single. I've helped you I came all the way from Virginia to help you You remember I'm your friend came all the way from Virginia run from that guy that guy Got some issues and you love God to work on now I've got fix him up and bring y'all back together if you are available Okay But don't settle for his mess Getting physical with you and stuff. I Know some women today, bro. You want to do what you better you better put them put them up They won't take that. I Know some women my height and taller. They like, okay, you want to do what we're gonna knuckle up in here But That's not the way to deal with it, but I tell you these some of these women gonna let you fool with them You're gonna do what? Try that one more time We'll tear this house up together But God wants you to be in a healthy situation a God honoring but you got to get the foxes out may God help us To get the foxes out and put a wall not a fence Wall around the vineyard of our lives