 What do you do when no matter what you want to talk about gets defensive? Why would he be so defensive when we've been together for decades? Hmm. So I'm gonna assume you're married or you said you've been together for decades. Why do people get defensive? I think one of the greatest challenges in relationships today is that we take people for granted and we stop being in a state of appreciation or gratitude. Let me repeat that. We take people for granted and we stop being in a state of appreciation or gratitude. And people that get defensive oftentimes are struggling deeply on the inside with childhood wounds and traumas or adult traumas that have gone unhealed. This is why people like that, which is pretty much every human being on the planet because even I get defensive, should read this book, The Hoffman Process, The Hoffman Process. This is a deep dive into childhood wounds and traumas as well as adult traumas to heal the past so we don't have to be in a state of needing to be defensive in any relationship. But I can tell you that most likely it's really a lack of appreciation and gratitude for maybe one another in this particular case. I know you probably care about him and I'm sure he cares about you, but ultimately when people stop, look at it, nothing purifies life like death. It took Connor actually having to leave for me to really learn the most valuable lesson in life and that is to love, to first love on oneself, to put the oxygen mask first on oneself. And that's the most important thing, Pat, for yourself, so he gets defensive. How about you working on yourself? And I can tell you, you might actually have the courage to end a relationship that may not be healthy for you. I think divorce is a good thing, not a bad thing because two people who are not aligned with each other should not be together just because they have to. I don't know your circumstances, but let me just say this, focus on yourself, focus on loving on yourself because when you love on yourself, you don't accept bad behavior from other human beings. And as speaking as a man who lost a child, I refuse to allow myself to ever be a victim to anyone else because I learned the most important thing in life since Connor's passing and that is to appreciate myself, not from any goic place of righteousness, but from a place of loving myself and loving everyone else. And that's my invitation. That was the birthday invitation I passed on to everybody. Remember that? Here, I'm gonna take a bite. Mm, God, that's a lot of frosting. I hope that helped. So thank you so much, Pat. All right. Oh my God, that was so good. I got that whole foods. All right.