 and I'd like to welcome you guys to episode 25 of your numero uno late night show with your numero uno late night host. So whoever watched this yesterday, yesterday we talked about domestic violence and tonight's episode is basically what comes after that. So I'll keep you guys wondering about that, but let's go into what's trending and we'll be back very soon. So do stay tuned. Once again, we do welcome everybody for joining us tonight. Now for tonight, for what's trending, we have very special news that everyone knows what KFC is and what they're famous for, right? Now, they're famous for the shikan. Well, not so long because they're trying to change up the shikan to vegetarian alternatives as of the end of 2018. Only in the UK, though. So they're trying to change up their menus. And a spokesperson of the company says, we always look to respond to the latest changes in lifestyle and dining habits of our customers. That's why we're looking into vegetarian options. Wonder what they'll call it next. KF dot dot dot for me, KFA, Kentucky Fried Alternatives. No, for me, I like a KFA, Kentucky Fried Alternatives. But what else is trending? Taliban. Now, this is a surprise for me. For the first time, this terrorist group, these criminals, have announced a ceasefire in Afghanistan just for aid. So these guys broke their record on ceasefire. What did they say? They said that since the toppled by the 2001 US-led invasion of Afghanistan, where they had fire just going on all over, killing mainly the citizens. But what they said is that, you know what? Because it's aid, what we're trying to do is have a ceasefire on that day. So we hope that Afghanistan is free from these criminals, heartless criminals, and free Afghanistan very soon inshallah, from this terrorist organization. But let's go and jump into tonight's topic because I have a red eye. A bug just went into it and looks a bit swollen. So let's go and check out what comes after domestic violence. So once again, we do welcome everybody for joining us tonight. We are live from the holy city of Karbala, Ahmad Ali coming to you on the late night talk, episode 25. Now, yes, as I mentioned earlier, yesterday we spoke to the husbands. And tonight we're coming back after you guys again. So don't run away because we're trying to talk to you once again on hashtag LNT. So all you husbands watching us yesterday, or who watched us yesterday, from yesterday we had a special episode on how you shouldn't abuse your wives. I hope you all remember that episode and took very good notes. Now, domestic violence is one of the reasons that leads to the end where the partners can't take it anymore. They can't live with each other anymore. It's a horrible relationship that they're in. What happens? They go for a divorce. Now, divorce is a huge phenomenon in all societies around the world. No country is exempt from this phenomenon. Now today, I hope to clarify one thing. Now, is divorce the right step to take? Or should it be reconsidered? And that's the question for tonight. Is divorce the final solution? That's the question for you guys tonight. Ashtray Agility wants to know how you let us know. Simply pick up your phones. Open WhatsApp down the number shown right there. Plus 964774 0671836. What you should do with that number? Well, you can give us a call. You can shoot us a text message. You can also send us a voice message on that same number via WhatsApp. So everything is toll free. Everyone has Wi-Fi. Everyone has data. So it's toll free. What else is there? Well, we live on Facebook as well. So you can go at Imam Hussain 3 TV and let us know what you guys think about tonight's questions right there. Is divorce the final solution? If you think yes, it's the final solution. Let us know why. If you think no, it's not. Also let us know why. And one disclaimer and one hint can give you guys watching us right now. There are only five days left of Ramadan. Well, six days if you know how to count. But five days left of Ramadan, five episodes. So what do I mean by that? I mean that you have only five more days, five more days, five chances to have your names written on these blessed sticky notes to be placed in this blessed fishbowl, to be drawn on a blessed day called Da'id, and to come on a blessed trip to Karbala. All these blessings come into your view from Hajj Tayi Galentiyya and the one and only Ahmed Ali. So free trip to Karbala exclusive on our house and along with many, many giveaways. Let's go take a very short break. Let me catch some water and come back very short. Once again, we do welcome everyone joining us tonight. Now ladies and gentlemen, divorce is a huge matter. It's not a game. I just thought to throw it out there. Just let you guys know that divorce is not a game to play. It's something serious. Now anyways, before planning for divorce, we need to take in some considerations. It's important to evaluate the disadvantage, the advantages and disadvantages of getting a divorce. That split cake right there means they're breaking up if you didn't already know that. But we have to look at some of the disadvantages and the advantages at the same time and we have to focus on who are the ones who are really affected by that decision which are the children. Now divorce, as everyone knows, divides up the family financially and emotionally. So if you're living in the West, when you get a divorce, you're basically paying up half of what you have to the woman for the ease you're just giving out the later dowry that you planned. But that's not for tonight. For tonight, we're trying to talk about the emotional and the financial split and the divide between the family which many can improve for a lot of people. May be the cause for a healthier future for that partner. But let's kick it off with some of the advantages and then we'll go to the disadvantages. One of the main disadvantages, or sorry, one of the main advantages of a divorce is that it gives the person, any person, whether it's the husband who's facing abuse or if it's the wife who's facing abuse. Now it gives both parties, both individuals, a chance to start a new, fresh life. So that means you don't have to be stuck to that old relationship filled with hate and filled with trauma. Now, you can restart your life, hit that restart button by going to divorce. And that's what comes after divorce. After divorce, individuals can develop personal skills that can help them work towards a bright future. However, don't think that, you know what, if you're having problems, yeah, right now, I'm gonna go get a divorce. Right now, the sit, Ahmad Ali said go get a divorce because the disadvantages say that you can start a healthy life. Wait until you hear the disadvantages. Now, the disadvantages are also important to look at, but we'll go to them after we read this text message from Noshad from India. Islam does not consider the marriage terminated after the divorce procedure. It has determined a duration called Adda in which after a revocable divorce, a man may return to his wife. Okay, thank you very much for letting us know. Noshad from India. Noshad, India. All right, thank you very much for joining us tonight. Your name will be placed in the draw. First name, going in the draw, draw, not draw, for the night. So that should be an advantage or that should motivate everyone to join us tonight. Now, I talked about the advantages. Now, going to the disadvantages, there has been a huge argument or multiple arguments on what comes after divorce. Is it the final solution? That's your question for tonight. Go participate. But the arguments also revolve around the psychological effects of the two parties, especially the children we'll get to talk about later on. Now, adults can suffer negative psychological balance, including high levels of anxiety, unhappiness, and depression. And trust me, when a woman leaves a unhealthy relationship, yes, she's happy because that trauma or whatever that was going on ended. But at the same time, the psychological effects are still there. It's not like you hit shift, delete, and all the emotions are done, you restart. No, no, no, no. They go through that trauma after the divorce is done. Now, the divorce doesn't only affect the couple. It affects something very more important than the couples. You know, the couples, they go through a divorce, everyone goes their separate ways, but the children are the ones that suffer the most in a divorce, especially if there's domestic violence that led to that divorce. Now, a child of divorce may develop commitment issues and doubts of the ability or his ability to marry in the future. Now, you know, that person, if they grew up, whether it's a he or a she, if it's a boy or a girl, it may make them have a different view of what marriage is really all about. You know, if a child, a child doesn't know what's going on when they're young, even when they're a teenager. They might not know the whole problem, but what they see is his dad fighting his mom and his mom filing for a divorce or his dad is filing for a divorce. He sees that conflict between the two parties and what ends up happening. The image that's drawn in his mind is a negative image where, you know, what marriage is not something to go down that road. So what ends up happening is the child grows up to hate marriage and to not marry in the future. Now, some examples of the situations that a person or what really basically leads to divorce, we have some written down for you right here. Now, physical abuse, the nonstop intentional physical abuse that a woman gets, or you know, it's sad to say, but sometimes a man gets physically abused by the woman or emotionally abused, hate to be in issues, but you know, life is life. But the physical abuse that the woman gets. The second reason why a lot of women file for divorce is because of cheating. Now, what I mean by cheating is not, you know, it's not the halal cheating where, you know, muta'a, no, no, no, it's not, because that's permissible. You know, and if you're married and you have a happy life, I don't know why you're going down that road, but if you do, that's your choice, I'm not here to judge. But what I mean by cheating is adultery, is him having an affair, sexual affair, or haram affair with another female other than his wife, who he's not married to, whether muta'a, or temporary marriage, or a long-term marriage. And the other reason why women file for divorce is that the man is not bringing in, or he's not providing for her the obligations that he should be doing. What I mean by that, food, clothes, a good home, a decent home, if you can't afford it, that's not a reason for you to file a divorce, but if you can, and he's giving you a miserable life, that could be a reason, and also the bedtime. If he's not giving you quality time, then maybe that, you know, I'm not here to judge, but I'm just saying these are some of the reasons that people believe divorces are happening. But let's read this text message from Fuzzy Moon from Trinidad, again shout out to Fuzzy Moon for participating in mostly every episode. Yes, it is better to live in peace than in hell for the rest of your life, before the woman or the man did something, they regret it. Thank you very much, Fuzzy Moon. So she believes, Fuzzy Moon does believe that divorce is the final solution from that message, but continuing off where we left off. Now, other examples that are, you know, see the problem that's going on between the man and the wife. If they're recently married, then we can really say that you know what, they're going through some problems. And it's okay to see that, because they're not used to each other, it's okay. Some problems are fixable, you can fix them. And that's the problem that not a lot of couples may understand. The man, he needs, he feels like he should be the top authority in the house. Baba, you don't need to prove that, you already are. If the woman's telling you my love, get me this, maybe you're not the top authority, but she's making you feel like you mean a lot to her. So she's talking to you like you're the top authority in the house. You don't need to prove that by acting all up to your wife. And I heard a lot of men saying this. I show her the red eye, as Araqi say, from day one. So in the future, if she plans to get me angry, get me pissed, she knows what I'll do to her. Baba, we're living in the 21st century. 21st, we're not living in a Flintstone time. I say Baba means like, it's not mean daddy, no, no, no. It's like bruh. I'm not calling you guys daddy, I'm just saying bruh. We're living in the 21st century. You don't need to show off the muscle like we have a brother that does that here. Another one is the incompatibility between the man and the woman. A lot of people after getting married, especially in an arranged marriage, people face that. Even not in arranged marriages, people face that as well. But what do I mean by that? I mean that after they get married, during the engagement time, the man is so nice to the woman. The woman is not showing the man her true side, putting all that makeup on just to look that good in front of the man, which is perfect, which is great. And the man's looking great, suited up, taken to the fancy restaurants. After they get married, stuff starts popping up. Now I'm just gonna bring out some examples just for humor. If a woman, if a man doesn't like his woman to burp after food or to do something else, or she does some random stuff, we don't wanna get to mention that on live television because kids might be watching us. So we, well, it's important to keep that in mind. Not everything that you sign up for may turn out the same thing. So what you do have to do is compromise. And I did understand, thank you very much, I just have to keep on repeating in my ear. Thank you very much. But compromise, compromise is what you guys need to do. Now let's go check out what the expert for tonight, joining us, Hassan, or Dr. Hassan, joining us tonight, and answering the question, is divorce the final solution? So let's go check what Hassanumethi has to say. Divorce, the solution. See, all of the term of divorce may not be pleasant, yet it's accompanied with a set of mixed emotions and feelings that are rooted in the foundation of marriage. And how the institution of a family was carried out prior to that divorce. In addition, regardless of those emotions, there is a state of psychological and emotional trauma that would actually affect all sides involved in a divorce. And this would apply whether the divorce was very bumpy and nasty, or whether it was a smooth and a peaceful divorce. All sides would actually be affected psychologically and emotionally. Religious-wise, I've actually seen scholars and eclergies that are involved in those matters, whether for reconciliation or mediation, they would try to drag out the process of a divorce, obviously in a peaceful manner, and hopefully they're hoping to find a solution to bring back that broken family together. I've seen some scholars actually would purposely postpone a divorce and tell the two sides, let's do the divorce next week. And during that week, they would actually continue their efforts to actually reconcile and solve some of the problems that actually exist between those couples and prevent the divorce. And obviously those efforts are all due to good intentions. However, sometimes due to many reasons, divorce becomes inevitable and it becomes the best solution, fortunately. See, I'm not trying to compare our times with back in the days and say, oh, back in the day, the rates of divorce were extremely low and divorce was taboo and so on, although this would be a fact. But yet the patriarchal nature of majority of our societies, even Western societies, back in the days was unfair to women. And I'm just gonna stop at that. I'm not gonna continue with this because this may not be pleasant to someone. But regardless, the problem, my problem with divorce and specifically in our communities is the animosity involved in the process of divorce. See, divorce can be due to domestic violence. It could be due to financial problems. It could be due to absence of a transparency in a marriage and many more reasons. Yet once the process of divorce is initiated, I hope that all sides could actually take into consideration the repercussions and the consequences of their actions. Most likely there are children involved and this is my main issue. The process of divorce has become very painful in our societies and the children are not taken into consideration. They have witnessed couples taking each other to courts for custody battles and they spend tons of money over who should have custody of the child. Well, I hope the same way they would spend money and a lot of time and they put their efforts toward taking care of the child. I hope they're actually taking into consideration the psychological impact that should be put in on the children due to this nasty and lengthy court and dragging in the court system. I would actually end by saying this that although I have never liked divorce but I have to admit that sometimes it's the only solution, unfortunately. But I hope divorce happens in a civil way which doesn't impact children. It doesn't create grudges among family and friends. And if a couple, they have a problem and they want to be apart fine but don't get everyone around you involved in that problem and ask them to take sides. Ask them to help maintain the foundation of your family even if you decided to be apart. That's okay, especially if children are involved. Thank you very much. Dear viewers, thank you very much. Brother Hussain Armaithi for joining us tonight in form of information you provided us there with. Now, let's jump into Facebook and look at what people have commented. Now, Alia Rusmi Nix Ruslan. She says, I wish I had the divorce 18 years ago but he then, he blacked mail me if I divorced him. He would kill himself. My kids were young then. Now the kids have grown up and we just coexist. And I feel so dry and alone in this marriage. I am in new convert to Muslim and he is not and will not convert to Muslim. We got married at church. We have not been intimate for two years. What is the law on our marriage? Now, thanks for sharing the story but it's not about asking the question and me answering. This needs to be answered by the jurists. So Anshal, we'll get to talk about that but is this a comment that we should written down? Is this, should we write this down? We should write this down. All right. We did receive a call from Hussain from Iraq. Salam alaikum brother Hussain. Thank you very much for joining us once again. How are you doing? Alhamdulillah. How are you? You good? Oh, that's great. Alhamdulillah. Yes, I'm good, thanks a lot. Well, I'm not expert in this topic but I just wanted to line up my opinion here. Yes. Well, I do firmly believe that if the spouses, if the wife and husband were well-educated and they have the good awareness, we would expect a very high level of compatibility between the spouses. So if, like, I just want to rely upon the intellectuality of them to, in that way, if they were educated and they have the level of intellectuality, they would be able to reform their problems and be able to achieve whatever they want and it could overcome the obstacles and hardships in their lives. Yes, and that's my opinion. Thank you very much, Hussain from Iraq for joining us today. Once again, shout out to him and whoever was constantly participating in tonight's episode. Now another comment from Facebook, Marcia Brooks. She says, a silent, complex topic. You are doing us a favor by speaking about abuse and divorce. You show insight into personal, emotional and social consequences. Thank you for taking it. Okay, thank you very much, Marcia. She says, divorce may solve the obvious problems, but does it heal the underlying wounds? Thank you very much, Marcia Brooks, for joining us tonight. Thank you very much. Once again, Marcia Brooks. Now, now quickly we should go. We are getting a few, another Facebook comments. Just last one. Salam, while according to me, divorce is the extreme and people should acquire subordination in every aspect of his or her life. Now, going to the Islamic point of view of divorce and answering that question in an Islamic point of view. Now, Mama Sadaq, alaihi salam, he says, very swiftly, verily Allah loves a house in which a wedding is held and hates a house in which a divorce is conducted and there is nothing more hateful than divorce. Wait. It does not mean he's not saying that divorce is not allowed, it's forbidden. No, no, no. Mama Sadaq continues. He says, among that which Allah has made permissible, there is nothing he hates more than a divorce and Allah hates a man who divorces and marries many women. So there you have it, Prophet Muhammad says, Allah loves no permissible like marriage and Allah hates no permissible like divorce. So you guys, if your problems are solvable, if your problems are fixable, go fix them out, go work out your relationship because don't let minor problems ruin that great relationship that you may see in the future. If that relationship is making you suffer, both parties making them suffer, then end that relationship because divorce is the final solution and that's the answer for tonight. This Ahmed Ali coming to you live once again. Peace be upon you. And may the mercy of Allah be upon you. And may the blessings of Allah be upon you.