 Trusting someone takes a lot of courage, especially if you've been burned in the past. You may have had a parent, partner or friend abandon you out of the blue. They may have done something behind your back. You may have shared something private with them and they betrayed your trust by sharing it with others. And you're left with this uneasy feeling that leads you to stop trusting people altogether. This lack of trust is often a result of betrayal trauma. The term betrayal trauma was first coined in 1991 by American psychology researcher and theoretician, Jennifer Freide, according to her. Betrayal trauma occurs when the people or institutions on which a person depends for survival significantly violate that person's trust or wellbeing. You're not crazy. Too sensitive or overreacting because symptoms of betrayal trauma are emotional responses to a genuine feeling of violation you experienced. And you have every right to feel wronged or hurt. Trauma takes many forms in adult life, so it's important to register potential trauma symptoms. Here are six signs you may suffer from betrayal trauma. Anxiety. Through careful research, Dr. Freide has determined that how people respond to betrayal trauma depends on the person and the details of the experience. But we do see common reactions including anxiety, depression and dissociation and victims of betrayal trauma. According to the ADA, individuals who have experienced trauma may experience anxiety in a variety of forms from an increase in generalized worries to panic attacks. For example, a person who suffers from betrayal trauma may experience severe anxiety when confronted by the person that betrayed them in the first place and feels a strong desire to hide or run away. Even mere reminders of the person can cause a victim of betrayal trauma to spiral at times. Integrative trauma therapist and scholar, Odelia Gretel Crabill agrees that anything that looks, sounds, smells or feels like things experienced at the time of trauma can trigger fear that danger has returned. Just because your life wasn't in danger does not mean that what you experienced was any less traumatic. Avoid it. When someone you love hurts you or betrays your trust you may likely want to avoid them or discard any memory of them. You may become agitated or angry whenever a reminder of them pops up and take your frustrations out on whoever or whatever brought them to mind. According to licensed psychology and trauma specialist Dr. Rebecca Craycraft, trauma survivors often feel the pull to avoid their trauma and just move on. It's perfectly reasonable to want to move on but when it becomes clear you are simply burying your feelings and brushing aside the pain you experienced it becomes a problem. If every reminder becomes a trigger it's time to seek help and process the trauma and to process the trauma means you must master it. How? Craycraft says that gaining mastery over your trauma means not being triggered by things that remind you of the traumatic event anymore. Yes, it sounds easier said than done but if these triggers constantly interfere with your life it's important to address them. Trust issues. Someone you love may have taken advantage of your trust one day so you may have decided to stop trusting people. You may meet someone you question their motives instinctively and have been constantly told that you have trust issues. Licensed psychologist and relationship expert Shirley Glass insists that immediate relationships are contingent on honesty and openness. They're built and maintained through our faith that we can believe what we are being told. From the time we're young we're taught to rely and trust others but what happens when someone we learn to trust betrays us unexpectedly. Since mutual trust is key in any healthy relationship relationships lacking trust often fall apart and develop trust issues which is normal after a serious violation of your trust. Negative intrusive thoughts. The ADA argues that individuals who have experienced trauma may also internalize the event and have subsequent negative thoughts about themselves or they may generalize the event and have negative thoughts about the world. Those who have suffered from a personal betrayal often blame themselves and suffer from occurring intrusive self-deprecating thoughts that leave them feeling drained and hopeless. Clinical psychologist Melissa Platt says that victims of betrayal trauma will often believe they are bad because they feel bad and because shame is a normal survival response to experiencing betrayal trauma but they are not usually aware that that is the case. As Platt said, shame is a natural and normal response in this situation. Someone you loved and trusted betrayed you and you may feel inclined to blame yourself or ask yourself, what did I do wrong? According to Platt, survivors of betrayal trauma need to understand that these symptoms are signs that their mind was trying to help them survive rather than signs that there is anything wrong with them. Instead of blaming yourself take the time to acknowledge your feelings without letting them consume you. Withdraw. As a result of the betrayal you may withdraw from your friends and family and self isolate to avoid being hurt again. You may feel like there's no one left that you can trust and you see the world as a dark place filled with people who wanna hurt you. Crabill describes withdrawal as an instinctive and often helpful reaction to threats of almost any kind. However, one withdrawal pushes us away from our existing support system. It can increase the risk of anxiety and depression developing. According to Crabill, as soon as a traumatic event passes most survivors experience a more or less irresistible urge to withdraw to a safe, quiet place to protect themselves from further harm. You may feel like hiding is the best way to stay safe but having your friends, family, and others you love near you will help you heal better in the long run. Trauma psychologist Remy Coker says that your support system is vital for giving you a reality check that what you think is going on really is going on and reminding yourself that there are still trustworthy people in the world. Rumination. Contrary to an earlier sign, not all victims of betrayal trauma wanna move on or practice avoidance. Clinical psychologist and professor at Yeshiva University, Sabrina Romanoff says, what makes betrayal trauma so painful is that the person who was betrayed often cannot simply sever their relationship with the perpetrator. For example, the relationship may have ended but the perpetrator may always be on your mind. You may find yourself remembering the good times and wondering what if I had tried harder or been a better partner? You may hold on to mementos like trinkets or photos that remind you of the person in question and make up scenarios where the betrayal never happened but part of you cannot forget the hurt you experienced. You may feel convinced you need to know why your partner betrayed you to fix things or find closure. But licensed counselor and sex therapist Alan J. Katz and licensed marriage and family therapist Michelle Safier insist that those who continue to be consumed by seeking information are tortured, not by the behavior but by their unrelenting quest to uncover all of the lies. Unfortunately, finding out the truth can't guarantee you peace of mind. You may never find all the answers you're looking for but you can be kind to yourself and allow yourself to move on with the help of friends and family and those you love and trust. Trauma affects us all differently. So not all people will experience the same symptoms but it is important to recognize when these symptoms affect how you go through life and form new relationships. If you feel you may suffer from betrayal trauma please consult a licensed therapist, counselor or professional. Talking through your feelings could lead to healthier coping mechanisms that improve your life. Writer Sherylann Kenyon once said that everyone suffers at least one bad betrayal in their lifetime. It's what unites us. The trick is not to let it destroy your trust in others when that happens. It can be hard to move on and begin trusting people again especially if you were hurt by someone you loved but you shouldn't let one person's betrayal determine how you live and interact with others. Yes, it can be scary to let someone in again but having people you love and trust in your life will have a lasting impact. If you found this video helpful please like and share it with someone who could benefit from it. If you wanna learn more about how unresolved trauma can affect you check out our video. Seven sides you're not a bad person, it's your trauma. Are you looking for a cuddly companion that brings positivity and mental wellness to your daily life? Get your very own side. The lovable plushie is here to brighten your days. It embodies the spirit of psych to go and it serves as a reminder to prioritize your mental wellbeing. 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