 Hello there, my beautiful, lovely, talented internet friends. Welcome back to my channel. Thank you so much for joining me here today for Misconceptions about amputees. Now if you don't know, just as proof, I am one. See, I'm an amputee. And I've been one for about a year and a half now. I had my initial amputation October 11th, 2018, meaning that I'm pretty new to this game, but I've had enough time to adjust to it. And there are certain misconceptions that tend to come out pretty often about amputees, amputation, and about disability in general that I thought I would tackle here today with you guys. But first, a word from our sponsor. Every afternoon at about two o'clock, I head downstairs and make myself a cup of coffee. And lately, I've been making Ground Shark's Purple Belt Roast. Ground Shark is organically grown and roasted. It's roasted here in the United States, and it is roasted to order. And I can attest to the fact that it is absolutely delicious. They have a number of different flavors that even have a variety pack you can try out. And if you want to use Code Footless Joe at checkout, you will get 10% off your order. I've left a link to their site in the description down below. I hope you will check them out in Ground Shark. Thank you for sponsoring this. I also want to thank all of my patrons over on Patreon for continuing to support this channel. It means the world to me. Thank you. Now, without further ado, let's dive into some misconceptions people have about amputation. So this probably goes without saying, but this is just my opinion as an amputee, as a person with a disability, other people are going to have different thoughts and feelings if they are in a similar position. So please just take this as my word and not the Gospel. Something that I hear a lot of people say is I could never imagine. And I appreciate people saying this because I take it as sort of like I'm not trying to talk about your experience or like tread on your experience. But I do think that saying I could never imagine sort of hints at this belief that I am something different than they are, that what I'm experiencing is something that they could never experience, right? And I've said this about a lot of different things. Like I could never imagine what you're going through because it's honest. But at the same time, the emotions that I've experienced as an amputee are no different than emotions that you have experienced as a person watching this video. I've experienced grief and anger and excitement and joy and setbacks and disappointment and all of that, which are all simply human emotions. The specifics of my story may differ from yours, but that's true for all of us. So I'm not saying like that's something you shouldn't say because I say that all the time about different things. But the idea that being an amputee is something so foreign and so different from what you're experiencing if you're not an amputee, it's just not really accurate. Like I don't feel like a different person without my leg than I felt with it. There are different adjustments and things to navigate, but I'm still just a person. When I was thinking about making this video, there was one that came to mind that was just sort of central in my head and it was that it's not something to joke about. So I personally think it's really funny when people joke about my amputation with the caveat of if it's people that I know, like if random strangers do it, is a little bit uncomfortable, understandably so, depending on the situation and the tone. But when people who I know joke about my leg, I think for the most part it's freaking hilarious. For instance, one of my friends calls me his favorite cripple. That's right, Cedric. I'm talking about you. And I low-key think it's hilarious. My husband started making foot pun jokes around me before I even had my amputation, knowing that I was going to lose my leg and made the whole thing so much easier to adjust to. Are there some things that shouldn't be joked about in certain situations? Yes, absolutely. But humor is also how people cope with things. Humor is also how we deal with things, how we deconstruct things and normalize things. And for me, making jokes about my leg has been a huge part of normalizing this life for me. I was at a friend's party the other day and we walked out to their backyard and had to go over some rocks or normally that would hurt feet and I made a super lame. Let me just stress this. Super lame joke. They were all talking about how it was like painful on their feet and I was like, well, I don't feel anything. I know I'm not a comedian and I never claimed to be one. But just making fun of myself and having other people laugh along with me is fantastic. Of course that can be taken too far, but having a sense of humor is really important and amputees generally absolutely have one. Secondly, another misconception. You shouldn't ask questions. I feel like I was taught this by society growing up that people who are different, different than me. I shouldn't stare at, I shouldn't ask questions, I shouldn't really acknowledge that that thing's different about them. But now being a person who is visibly different than an average human walking around a grocery store, when a kid points and is like, mommy, her leg fell off. I think it's A, adorable, but B, it makes me really sad when their parent is like, don't, don't, don't, don't say that. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Because my response is always like, no, I asked me questions, like talk to me. That's how we normalize disability. Now questions can be overwhelming. Questions can be offensive at times, though I don't think they're generally intended to be that way. But especially like coming from kids, if you ask, if you can ask a question, ask away. And if you're an adult talking to another adult with a disability, same thing. If you ask, hey, can I ask you about this? And they say yes, go ahead and ask questions. Ask about the things that you're wondering about that you're not sure if you should put into words. Because we've heard it before, we know that you're wondering it. And I'd much rather that you ask me a question and then sitting there and trying to like come up with ideas of what the answer might be and what my experience might be. Because I've done that for people who I thought were different than me. I've not wanted to open up the conversation because I might say the wrong thing. And yeah, that's always a possibility. But also it's the way that we learn. It's the way that we grow. I think the more questions that can be asked in a respectful context, once consent has been given to ask questions, the better. Misconception for amputation equals pain. I have a number of friends who were born as amputees. They've never experienced even phantom pain. They've never experienced pain at all from their amputated limbs. I have a lot of people who ask me like, does it hurt? And that's a very valid question. It's what I would wonder too. And for me, the answer is still, yes, it's getting less, which is fantastic. But for a lot of amputees, there isn't any pain. There might be soreness if you wear a prosthetic limb too long, but they're really okay. And then there are other amputees who suffer debilitating phantom pain or pain because of muscle or nerve issues. You really run the whole gamut of the pain spectrum when talking to amputees. So the assumption that because you're missing a leg or an arm or a hand or finger, you must be in pain, it just isn't accurate. There's also this assumption that amputees are brave and courageous overcoming personal adversity. And for the record, to some extent, that is true. If you're dealing with missing a body part, your life looks a little bit different than other people's, like you do have to adjust to different things. But simply missing an arm or a leg or a finger or toe does not instantly make you a brave or courageous person because I lost a limb doesn't make me brave or courageous or someone to look up to simply because I am missing a part of my body. There are amputees out there who are absolute assholes and there are amputees out there who I look up to and it aspire to be more like limb loss and disability don't necessarily equal bravery and courage. They do equal someone who has had to adjust to different things to a different kind of lifestyle, but they don't necessarily equate to character qualities. Okay, if you're an amputee, let me know if you disagree with this in the comment section down below. But another assumption is often made that we all know each other like that because I'm an amputee, I must know every other amputee in the state or that we must all be friends with each other, which I think is funny too. If I see another amputee somewhere, I don't call it out. I'm not like, hey, fellow amputee. Hello, it is I on amputee. Like, like I don't want to make someone else uncomfortable because everyone's amputation story is different and some people are totally cool with it. And some people are dealing with trauma and unresolved issues around it. Like it makes sense. So what I'm saying is we're not all best friends just because we happen to also be missing limbs, just like you might not be best friends with everyone on your soccer team, even though you're all playing soccer. I do have a number of friends who are amputees and it's great to have people to talk to who get it, like who you don't have to explain things to and they just kind of get the experience, they get the emotions and the context for it. But at the same time, that's not the only reason that I'm friends with someone with limb loss. I'm friends with them because I like who they are as a person and we jive well together. Misconception number, I'm not really sure because I haven't been keeping track. If you're an amputee, amputation is a part of your identity. I think this is sort of an assumption that honestly the vast majority of people make. I make this assumption about many groups of people that like, oh, if you're disabled this way, it must be like who you are. And that's something I've had to mentally check myself on because as an amputee, yes, I have a channel dedicated to talking about amputation in this journey, but it's not a central part of my life. It's a part of my daily life because I have to adjust to things differently. I have to unscrew my foot and ankle to get on a bike. Things like that are obviously different, but if you ask me to describe myself, amputation is not the first thing on the list. Amputee is not the first thing on the list. For some people, it might be absolutely, but that's not the case for everybody. I think when people have this misconception, it's rooted in this idea that having a disability must be all consuming. And let's get honest, sometimes it is, but that's not true for everyone and that's definitely not true all of the time. Thinking that this is the only part of your identity or it's the biggest part of your identity can lead to people focusing on it way more than they need to. Again, taking it back to other things. If you're a figure skater, you might really like talking about figure skating. It might be your thing, but it's not going to be the only thing that you think about, the only thing that you talk about. I don't know why I picked figure skating as an equivalent for amputation because that doesn't make sense. Bear with me, guys. What I'm saying is because there is something about you that might be true, it doesn't mean that it's the only thing that you think about about yourself. I don't think I'm making any sense anymore. Am I making any sense? Please send help. Another misconception, relationships are different. To some extent, absolutely. This is one that I think is going to vary highly from individual to individual. I'll just speak from my own experience as I do with anything. Relationships in my life are not different because I'm missing a leg. Just straight up, not at all. My marriage is not different. My relationship with my family or my good friends has not changed going through this versus going through anything else. There are specific things that have come up in my life because of going through amputation. Yeah, but I still interact with people like Joe, like myself. I know that a lot of people experience differences in relationships, especially if they aren't already in a relationship. When dealing with disability or going through amputation, I think people have a lot of preconceived notions about what it must be like dating or married to a disabled person. But my relationship with my husband isn't different. He knew me when I had two legs. He knew me when I have one and a half. And we're still us. Misconception number end of this list. We don't want you to see us as disabled. Now I did a video recently about this that I will link in the description down below. And if I remember, I'll link up above as well talking about how disabled is not a dirty word. It's not a slur. It's not, you know, a bad thing to call someone. It's a fact of life. I am disabled. That's just how it is. And there's nothing wrong or bad about that. Now, two caveats to this. I do think some people don't want you to see them as disabled at all. But I wonder that most of that isn't rooted in the second caveat, which is that disability is weakness or equals dependency or equals, I don't know, something other than simply a physical or mental condition that limits a person's movements, senses or activities. Yes, I am still looking at the definition. That's all it is. It's just a limiting thing in a certain area of someone's life, be it mental or physical, what that means and how it manifests and how someone behaves because of it and their life experiences is going to differ from person to person. You are absolutely welcome to treat me like a disabled person or a person with a disability if and only if that means you treat me like a person because anyone dealing with a disability is human. They just have a specific facet of their life that looks a little bit different than yours. And that doesn't have to be a scary thing. And it's not something that has to be coddled. It's just a fact that does it for misconceptions about amputees brought to you by a real life amputee. I'm really curious to see if you disagree with any of these. If you're a person with a disability or an amputee yourself, let me know down below because like I said, everyone's different. We're all different. We have different thoughts and feelings and opinions about these things. If you are not a person who is an amputee or a person with a disability, do you have any of these misconceptions? To be honest with you, I've probably held the vast majority of them before really looking at disability and becoming an amputee myself. A huge thank you goes out to our sponsor yet again, Groundchart Coffee. I absolutely love them. I've been having their purple belt coffee for my midday French press for the last week. It is delightful and delicious. You can check them out online and the link in the description. A ginormous thank you goes to all of my patrons over on Patreon as well. Like I said at the beginning of this video, you make these possible. I'm so grateful for your support. I never take it for granted. Thank you. If you're curious what Patreon is or what it could do for you or if you want to be a part of that community or just learn some more, check out the link on screen or in the description down below. And to you watching this video, thank you for spending a few minutes out of your day hanging here with me today. I really appreciate it. You could be anywhere in the world doing anything and you chose to hang with me for a few minutes and it means a lot to me. I love you guys. I'm thinking about you and I will see you in the next video. Bye guys.