 see your text, see your message. Good morning. Good morning, Abinaz. Okay, just wanted to share a couple of verses and then we'll pray. This is something that I shared yesterday with the other class. So first, Timothy chapter 4 and verse 12, Paul writes to Timothy and he gives some instructions and he says, you know, let no one despise your youth, be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity, till I come give attention to reading, to exhortation, to doctrine. Verse 14, do not neglect the gift that is in you which was given to you by prophecy with a laying on of the hands of the eldership. Verse 15, meditate on these things and give yourselves, give yourself entirely to them that your progress may be evident to all. Take heed to yourself and to the doctrine, continue in them for in doing this you will save both yourself and those who hear you. Right? So some instructions that he gives Timothy who is in Ephesus and who's overseeing, you know, the church in Ephesus and he has people who are older than him, younger than him. And so here's Timothy, much experienced. So here's Paul, much experienced in ministry and he's giving this instruction to the one who is, you know, just probably starting off. Right? So he's saying, let no one despise your youth, how inexperienced or how young you are, but be an example to the believers. Right? So for the first thing he says is your life example, be an example to the believer and you listen down, you know, in word, in conduct, etc. In verse 13 he says, till I come give attention to reading, to exhortation, to doctrine. Right? So he's talking about the word, he's talking about instruction, he's talking about doctrine. So he's saying, you know, first was life example, second one is give attention to the word, give attention to the teaching, the doctrine. In verse 14 he says, do not neglect the gift that is in you, which was given to you by prophecy with the laying on of hands of the eldership. So next he's, he's talking about the work of the spirit. Right? So we saw life example, we saw doctrine, then he's talking about the work of the spirit. So don't neglect that. Do not neglect the gift that is in you, the Holy Spirit has imparted. So don't neglect that. Then he goes on to say, meditate on these things, all these things that I think deeply about it. Let it be part of your thinking, let it occupy your mind, your thoughts, meditate on these things, give yourself entirely to them that your progress may be evident to all. Now give yourself wholeheartedly, don't hold back, give yourself entirely. So he's talking about life example, he's talking about teaching and doctrine, he's talking about the work of the spirit, the gifts of the spirit in his life. He's saying, meditate on these things, think about these things, give yourself entirely to them. Let there be no reservation, don't hold back, give yourself completely. So when you do that says your progress will be evident. So in two things, when you do this, there will be progress. That's something that he's stating there, that your progress will be evident. So there will be progress and this progress will be something that will be evident, something that will be seen to all. It's not something that you notice but this progress will be noticeable to everyone, everyone that you interact with, to the ones who are, to whom you're giving spiritual oversight, leadership. So it will be evident to all. So I just wanted to submit that to us to really pray on these lines and saying, God, let me do these things, that we can put to practice, apply in our own lives, our life example, the teaching, exhortation, doctrine of the word of God and then the gifts of the spirit, the work of the spirit that lives will be open to it and whatever he has poured out into our hearts that we will not neglect it, that we will walk in it, that we will use it and that we will give ourselves entirely, wholeheartedly to these things and there will be progress. Especially for those of us who are thinking, oh, I seem to have hit a plateau, I seem to have hit a hit a rock, hit a ceiling. Paul encourages us and God encourages us through these words, give yourself entirely. Meditate on these things, give yourself entirely to these things, entirely to them so that your progress may be evident. There will be progress and it will be noticeable progress that'll be evident to yourself and to all. So let's pray. Father, we just want to thank you, Lord, for these exhortations from scripture, for these instructions which are, Lord, by your spirit. And we thank you, Lord, that they are applicable today for us as it was in those days to Timothy. And Lord, we just receive it, Lord. Yes, Lord, whether it's our life example or the attention to the study of your word, the meditation of your word and the work of your spirit, Lord, and our willingness to yield to the work of the spirit, Lord, are hard to desire the work of the spirit, not for you. It's very clear that we need to pursue love and desire spiritual gifts. So for us to be desiring it always and also God, that we will give ourselves wholeheartedly, unreservedly to these things, God, that our progress will be evident, that there will be progress, spiritual construction and spiritual progress, Lord, in our lives, God. And it will be evident. It will be manifest and put on display for all so that your name will be glorified so that others are edified as well. Yes, Father, God, we just want to give you thanks that you're able to do this. And I pray for each and everyone here, God, in class, and I just pray this over their lives, pray with us over myself, that our progress will be evident to all, even as we give ourselves wholeheartedly. And I just pray, God, that whatever their whatever blocks are there, whatever barriers are there, let them be removed in the name of our Lord and Savior Jesus, let them be removed in Jesus' name, whatever emotional barriers are there, let them be removed in Jesus' name, whatever be the works of the enemy, whatever be the deception of the enemy, that it be cleared out in the name of our Lord Jesus. And yes, Lord, to you be all the glory and honor and praise. In Jesus' matchless name, we pray. Amen. Okay. Okay, so last class, we were looking at how leadership involves people and how we as as leaders or potential leaders, there's no running away from people, right? We can't look at people as problems. We can't look at people as, you know, as irritations. But really, ministry is about people and God wants us or he wants to use us to bless people. God wants to move in us and through us, you know, causing us to be spokespersons, right? So whom do you speak to? Yeah, of course, we will declare to mountains and go through rivers and so on. But ultimately, it comes down to people whom the Lord considers very dear to his heart, right? For whom he gave himself on the cross. So for us to have that perspective is very, very important. So last class, we looked at how we can get ourselves ready to relate to people, right? And we were looking at John C. Maxwell's resource, Winning with People. And we looked at a few things there. We looked at the lens principle. And I think we closed with that, right? So today, we'll look at a few more principles that John C. Maxwell talks about. So and then we will, you know, we will kind of take some time to evaluate ourselves, right? Evaluate and see where we stand with regard to these principles, these truths, and, and make changes wherever we need to be, right? And these small decisions that we make about ourselves will go a long way, right? Because we these decisions we make, we, of course, obviously, we involve God in it. We invite the power of the Holy Spirit in our decisions. And the Lord takes this up very seriously, right? So it is with all sincerity of heart. And we want to do it so that we can relate well to people, relate in a healthy manner with people, right? Okay, so I just want to continue where we stopped off with the video. And so we will watch the video for about maybe maybe five or maybe 10 minutes or so. And then we will stop and then evaluate certain things and then continue, right? So just want us to be attentive. And let's watch this video. Let me just share the screen and we'll watch it. Just a minute, please. The mirror principle. Following in your notes is talking about the mirror principle, which is also there. So you can follow with that. But let's watch this. I'm going to turn my camera off so that there's no buffering issues. Okay. The mirror principle says the first person we must examine is ourselves. And coping with difficult people, I love this quote, coping with difficult people is always a problem, especially if the difficult person happens to be you. The question I must ask myself, have I examined myself and taken responsibility for who I am? Here's how the mirror test works. People are not aware of who they are and what they do often damage relationships with others. The way to change that is to look in the mirror. It is something all of us must do. It's what I call taking the mirror test. Consider these truths that we must learn about ourselves. Number one, the first person I must know is myself. That speaks of our self awareness. Human nature seems to endow people with the ability to size up everybody in the world, but themselves. That is so true. As I have worked and talked and counseled with people, they're a much better evaluator of others than they are of themselves because you see, we judge others by their actions and we judge ourselves by our motives. We know what we intend to do, what we would want to do, what we feel and what we would like to have done. Number two, the first person I must get along with is myself. This deals with my self image. Sidney Harris observed, if you're not comfortable with yourself, you can't be comfortable with others. I would take that one step farther. If you do not believe in yourself, you will sabotage relationships. Most of you are aware because I wrote the 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership that I talk about the law of the lid. The law of the lid basically says that if this hand is my leadership skill, then this lid, this leadership skill and effectiveness will determine how I can grow my organization or how I can develop my department, et cetera, that there's a lid, a leadership lid that keeps us from expanding or growing. I would just stop and say to you, that's true about relationships also. There's a relationship lid that keeps us from expanding and growing in our knowledge and understanding and connection with and relationship with others. And it deals with this right here. If you can't get along with yourself, if you have a poor self image, I can promise you, you'll never get along with a lot of people, and you'll never be able to believe in them because you don't believe in yourself. Number three, the first person to cause me problems is myself. That's self honesty. Or as comedian Jack Park quipped, looking back my life seems like one big obstacle race with me being the chief obstacle. I did a tape one time a leadership tape entitled how to get out of your own way. And basically the thesis of the tape was don't worry about competition. Most people never get sidetracked with competition or beat up by competition. They just blow themselves up. Most people if you just let them alone, it's only a matter of time till they go into the ditch. We can't even run away sometimes with ourselves. Because of the self image, because of this whole process of the mere principle and unable to cope with who we really are. Number four, the first person I must change is myself. This deals with self improvement. In the crypts of Westminster Abbey, the following words were written on the tomb of an Anglican bishop who lived in the 11th century. When I was young and free, my imagination had no limits. And I dreamed of changing the world. As I grew older and wiser, I discovered the world would not change. So I shortened my sights somewhat and decided to change only my country. But it too seemed immovable. As I grew in my twilight years in one last desperate attempt, I settled for changing only my family those closest to me. But alas, they would have none of it. Now as I lie on my deathbed, I suddenly realized if I had only changed myself first, then by example, I would have changed my family and from their inspiration and encouragement, I would have been able to better my country and who knows, I may have even changed my world. Number five, the first person that can make a difference is myself. This deals with self-responsibility. In the 17 Indisputable Laws of Teamwork, I wrote about the law of significance that one is too small of a number to achieve greatness. I truly believe that no significant accomplishment can be achieved by individual effort. However, I also believe that every significant accomplishment begins with the vision of one individual. That person not only possesses the vision, but also takes responsibility for carrying it out to others. If you want to make a difference in this world, you must take responsibility for yourself. A couple of years ago, I was going to Australia to speak at a conference and Margaret and I stopped for a couple of days at Christchurch, New Zealand. Beautiful country. The first morning that when we got up at our hotel, Margaret and I both loved Diet Coke in the morning to kind of get that caffeine, get that blood flowing for you. So I went on a search to find some Diet Coke, which I couldn't find any Diet Coke and couldn't find any ice. And I'm wondering the halls and I see this door, this door that basically says staff only and me being the kind of person I am, I assumed that back there is the ice and back there probably is some Diet Cola and I raised my right hand, made myself a staff member and entered the door and looked around and there was no Diet Coke, there was no ice. I'm about to leave this little area that was for staff only and I look at the door that I'm about to open to walk out and there's a full length mirror. And at the top of the full length mirror it had these words, take a good look at yourself. What you see, the customer is about to see. And as I looked at that little mirror and I saw those words I said to myself, every day I would like to tell people, before you go out into the world, look in the mirror, take a good look at yourself because who you are is how you'll see others. What you represent by your actions, by your face is going to have a lot to determine on how well you relate to people. Now a lot of times people when they look in the mirror, they don't want to face reality. They're like the guy with a health problem and he says, Doc, could you just touch up the x-rays? But you just kind of work on those a little bit. It's not an x-ray issue. It's something that you and I have to do as we look in the mirror. People principle number three, the pain principle. The pain principle says, hurting people hurt people and are easily hurt by them. Okay. Some good stuff there, you know, to evaluate ourselves, about self-awareness, about getting along with ourselves. So I just want us to, you know, take a good look at ourselves and evaluate ourselves to see. The first thing that we can do is, yeah, maybe take some time to see okay, what are our strengths right now? Putting it in the chat. What are our strengths? What is my, maybe we should just personalize it. What are my strengths? Right? Okay. What are my strengths? Second one, what are my, I'm not going to say weakness, but I'm, what are my areas of growth? Right? So what do I, what I perceive about myself as, okay, this needs to change. This needs to improve. This needs to grow. Okay. So it could be in the area of skill. It could be in the area of maybe character. It could be in the area of, you know, whatever, about yourself, you look at it, maybe you can, for those, for just to help us, it could be in the area of skills, ability, you know, knowledge. I just group them, group them as one category, knowledge, learning, okay, or it could be in the area of character, okay, maybe temperament. It could be in the area of, yeah, maybe habits like style, okay. It could be in the area of relationships, right? I guess it will come into the second category, but you get the idea, right? So let's just take an honest look at ourselves and see, you know, what are those, what are those strengths? What are those areas that, well, they don't seem to be strengths right now, but they can be, right? They can be made strong and certain things are maybe, maybe not there at all, right? And this is something that you don't have to share with others. So we're not, I'm not going to ask us to, you know, share or with the class or even to, you know, speak out about it, you know, but it's important for us to know this, it's important for us to write down, right? Be honest with ourselves, to be honest with God and say, yes, Lord, I just see that this is a problem, right? This is something that needs change. And I see this as an area of strength. Praise God for that. Thank you, right? So thank God for the area of strength and pray and ask God for those things that you see as weaknesses, as areas of growth, right? So we don't take about five minutes to do that. And then we will get back and continue. Okay. So how does it look? Does it look good, bad, ugly? You know, the intention is not for us to feel bad at the end of the day, but to really, the intention is for us not to feel bad about ourselves, but really to have an honest look, be real and authentic about this so that there can be change. You know, we can invite change into our lives, right? So it's important that we see ourselves for who we are. And here's the best part. We see ourselves as as ones who are washed by the blood of Jesus, as ones who have a new identity. Okay, so this is where, like when we look at areas of improvement, when we look at, you know, things that are not really happening the way it should be, it doesn't have to stop there, right? It doesn't have to stop there because in your spirit, we are born again. We are new creations. We have a new identity. We have the overcoming power within us, and we are moving from glory to glory. We are moving from strength to strength, right? Okay, so Sam asked the question, what about our blind spots? Okay, so what are things that, you know, that we are completely blind to ourselves, right? You know, we are not aware of it. Sometimes it's an embarrassment. It's just, you know, probably in public, probably in, you know, in a situation it pops up, and then we completely, we are blindsided. We are completely taken by a surprise. So what about our blind spots? You know, the one who can reveal our blind spots is the Holy Spirit, right? So that's the advantage, you know, rather than going to another person, of course, another person would also, you know, a friend, someone who understands, someone who knows and wants the best for us, can also, you know, make us aware of our blind spots, right? And say, okay, when we say blind spots, we are looking at, you know, some things that need change in us, some things that need to be improved in us, and which we are not aware of ourselves. Maybe we look, you know, maybe it's a problem, you know, it's something that we say, something that we do, and we don't even realize it, but maybe we are hurting people, maybe we are hurting ourselves, and that is actually stopping our progress, right? So, so that is what we mean by, you know, blind spots, something that we don't, you know, see in ourselves, right? So, well, we could, we could always have a friend, a mentor, someone whom we hold in high regard, who can give us an objective, you know, an objective, who can observe and give us a very objective response, okay, this is the problem, and over and above that, we, you know, we have God, the Holy Spirit, who indwells us and who quickens the word to us, you know, as we look at the mirror, you know, when we look at the book of James, we see that the word of God is referred to as the mirror, right? Let me just read that scripture, for if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, like this is James 1 verse 23, he is like a man observing his natural face in a mirror, for he observes himself, goes away and immediately forgets what kind of man he was, but he who looks into the perfect law of liberty and continues in it, and is not a forgetful hearer but a doer of the work, this one will be blessed in what he does, you know, so, right, so when we read the word of God, when we look into the word of God, when the Holy Spirit shows, reveals us for who we are, you know, he shows us even our hidden, hidden weaknesses, you know, things that we do not know about ourselves and things that we need to change about ourselves, okay, another, another, another thing that we, or another resource that we have is the gift of praying in tongues, when we pray in the Spirit, there is edification, right, there is change, there is edification, we are being built up in the inner man, right, and we see that when we pray in tongues, you know, sometimes we do not know what we should pray for as we ought to, right, and sometimes we completely, because we don't know, hey, this is a problem with me, I don't, I don't know it at all, you know, it's not come to my awareness, but when I pray in the Spirit and we pray in tongues, the Holy Spirit who knows us inside out, you know, he enables us to pray that perfect prayer and to bring about change, even in those hidden areas, right, okay, yeah, so, so some of the, you know, some other questions to, I hope that helps, I'm so, some other, yes, yes, Master, awesome, thank you, so some other questions to ask ourselves is, you know, would I hire myself, you know, if yes, for what reason, if you're running a business, or if you're starting out a ministry and you need help in certain area, would you hire yourself for, if it's yes, you know, what are those reasons for which you will hire yourself, if it's not, you know, what are those reasons again, another question to reflect and ask ourselves is, what problems have I created for myself, for myself in the past, or maybe even right now, what are the some things that I've created for myself, and then these are things to, you know, for which we can get some real answers, but the thing is not to stop there, not to stop them, many times when we just reflect, we get stuck because we are just in a downward spiral of looking at the flesh aspect of it, the unrenewed aspect of our lives, and we just stuck there, but we know that we can go beyond that because of who we are on the inside, right, because of who we have become on the inside, yes, that change needs to come, that you know, we need to renew our mind, our thinking for it to be part of our life, for the choices that we need to make for our lifestyle and behavior and everything to change with, we need to you know, express that inward change through our senses, right, through our emotions, through our thinking, through our words, our actions, and that would come only when we renew our mind to the truth of who we are, right, so that's the second part of it, okay. Okay, let's move on, so we looked at what is the mirror principle that will actually help us to to be aware and as we have the honest look of, look about ourselves and and also, you know, change things about us, right, change certain things about us, and we know that it's going to be a work in progress, but as long as we are committed to that, that work in progress, committed to that process of saying God, you know, as you lead, as you, as you prompt, as you show, you know, I'm going to be changing, there is going to be continuous renewal and praise God for that, right, he is there to lead us from one level of strength to another level of strength, so he's doing that and he is bringing about change in us from one level to another level, so as long as we commit to following him, commit to obeying him, we know that, you know, that's going to be a journey that we need to make and it is a process, okay, I'm just going to share the notes to look at the next principle which is the pain principle, right, okay, the pain principle, so basically it's, it is, we know that it is common knowledge that those who hurt or who are hurting hurt others, right, because they are dealing with the pain themselves and those who are hurting hurt others or as someone said hurt people hurt people, right, you are hurt and you are still nursing that hurt and and because of that you hurt others as well, okay, and you know, I, the, the, our response to maybe a small issue could be, you know, sometimes it's not in proportion to that, you know, the smallness of it and sometimes we realize, you know, why did I react that way, why did I respond that way and it could be because of undissolved hurt, right, because we've not resolved it or we are irritated about something and our response to that, to the discomfort or to the, to the, you know, the environment, the surrounding is, it's, it's not in proportion or that to that problem, it's not in proportion and we realize it's because it's coming from that place of hurt, right, so the pain principle is important, so if we are not walking healthy, right, if we have not gone before God in our own honesty or not going before God, before the Lord in an ongoing manner to deal with the hurts, to deal with the disappointments, regrets and be set free, you know, that is going to come in the way of us relating to people, you know, I remember, you know, when, when a daughter was a toddler and, and daughter was a toddler and then, you know, she would have played with the toys and, you know, the whole living room would be full of toys, you know, this room everywhere and she would have been just playing with stuff, she was too, too young to just, you know, arrange it, et cetera, but then, and I remember walking into the house after, you know, a day at the office and, you know, as you all know I've shared and I used to be in the sales job and high pressure, targets, targets all the time and just walking into the house and, and I remember, you know, if, if I'm irritated about something, right, I remember my reaction, my response to that would be, you know, even if there was one thing which was out of place, you know, I, that would just get me, that would really get me, you know, upset, irritated and if the, even if there was, you know, and so you can imagine the scene when, you know, the toys all over the floor and I just come in and, and just get so bothered, so upset and I'll come in, you know, just picking up the toys, I've not even taken my toy or tie off or my, you know, back off but I'll be, I'll be just coming in right from the door, picking up the toys, picking up and putting them in, you know, because it's just getting to me, right and, and, and I remember when things were okay or internally when I was at peace and I was, you know, much better or not really shaken by, you know, not really, or not really under pressure or things were okay, then even if, you know, the whole house was upside down, I was fine, right, so the, so one thing I, looking back, I understood was it, it was actually about me, right, the way I related to things, I, I would, you know, I would probably look at it a very positive manner and say, oh hey, these things need change and then go rearrange it and, and do it with a smile but if I was hurting myself, it was under pressure myself and things were not okay, then I would walk into a place and, you know, my house and even if something small was out of place, it would just upset me, you know, throw me out of balance, right, then I, then I realized that, hey, it, it need not be so, it cannot be so, right, so even you think of unresolved issues from the past, okay, maybe the way, maybe the way, or some of the things that people said, you know, spoke to you, they said to you, or some of the labels that people put on you, okay, or he is always like this, you know, many times growing up, interacting with children, you know, at that age, they make a lot of statements, a lot of comments about our physical appearance, right, to start with physical appearance, you know, maybe if you're fat, you're called a fatty, you're thin, you're called, you know, something, maybe the color of your skin, maybe, you know, maybe you started wearing, you know, spectacles, glasses at a very young age and then they call you four eyes or several things, right, and, and some of those labels stick, and let's say, you know, years after, years after, many years, maybe decades after that, and if somebody picks on that, or somebody, you know, says that, and if, you know, calls us by that, or maybe someone on the road, and maybe in traffic, you did something, and then someone responded in anger calling your name or putting a label, then, you know, you, your response to it is, is, you know, so much bigger, right, not able to leave that because there's something which is there right from, you know, from an young age, young age, you know, you've not let go of that label, right, you've been reminded of that and you're just holding on to that, okay, so the thing is this, that, you know, as leaders and as, you know, as a human being, as believers, God wants us to be healthy and praise God that in him, you know, we are set free, the truth sets us free, right, and, and praise God that the Holy Spirit leads us into all truth, and, and we, and we read that where the spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty, that the freedom that we experience, the manifest liberty that we experience in our spirit, you know, at times is, is, is just a proof, tangible proof of the presence of the Spirit of the Lord and his work and his ministry in our lives, right, so, so when we look at, you know, maybe ourselves, getting ourselves ready to interact with people and, and be good at that, you know, we need to look at this as well, that the pain that we feel, or pain that we, we have not dealt with, we need to, you know, it will come in the way and it can come at, sometimes it can be embarrassing, so we need to, you know, deal with that in the right manner, right, and we can deal with it and we can overcome and walk in freedom, okay, so, you know, three John chapter one verse two, we, we've looked at it in financial, you know, stewardship class, it's talking about prosperity and, and linking that with the prosperity of our soul, you know, thriving, the flourishing of our soul, meaning our, our thoughts, our mind, our will, our emotions, our imaginations, everything, right, so his prayer is that, beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things, just as your, your soul prospers, right, that you may prosper in all things, just as your soul prospers, so your soul, your imaginations, your thoughts, you know, how is it right now, you know, are you dealing with some recurring cyclical oppressive thoughts over and over again, right from the time you wake up, right, how these thoughts bothering, you know, are they oppressive, you can be set free, right, and we are called to walk in freedom, right, and the truth will set us free, okay, so it depends on what we are filling our minds with, you know, just on our side, right, what we are filling our minds with, the things that we look, the things that we watch, the things that we read, the things that we are listening to, what are we filling our minds with, right, so it, it's very important, yes, we want to be aware of things that are going on in the world and, you know, news and information and all that, newspaper and media and all that, it's good, but over and above that, we need to come back to what God wants to do with our soul, right, he wants to restore our soul, right, and when we interact with the world, when we open our lives to, you know, what is happening in the world and we do get affected by what we see, you know, we do get challenged by what we see and it's a good thing, right, we do get affected in the sense we get upset about injustice, we get, we get angry about some things that are unrighteous and things that are happening, we get sad by looking at some of the, you know, inequalities that are there in the world because it's fallen, right, we get upset and these are all good and we are created that way, but we need to get back to a place of health with regarding, I mean, regarding our soul so that we can respond in the right manner, right, and not from a place of hurt and not from a place of, you know, even guilt or condemnation, right, but from a place of, from a place of health, okay, so 147 Psalm 147 and verse 3, he heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds, right, he heals the broken hearted, who heals, Lord heals and he binds up their wounds, so God can, God does, God will heal our hearts as we open up our lives to him, right, so the same happens when we are dealing with others, you know, understand that, you know, even as we have gone through this and even as we are in the process of over being over, I mean, overcoming, you know, these matters of the soul and understand that we are dealing with others who are hurt as well, okay, so maybe certain personal remarks, maybe, you know, certain things that people say and comment, we need to understand, right, sometimes it just takes us by surprise, why is it person saying that, you know, maybe it's about another person, why, you know, and in the course of a conversation, why are they so upset, you know, you see it and it's, it's nothing, but for them, you know, there is something beyond that issue, so we are able to look at it objectively, we are able to, you know, look beyond their response and look through those emotions, right, yeah, so that's the pain principle that would help us to under, when we understand this principle, right, it helps us to relate to people in a better way, right, okay, we'll stop here, take a break, and then, and then get