 That's not the reason why That's not the reason why The problem's not out there You have to look inside That's saying that some women The words that seem to hurt Are only in your mind And that's where you must search You guys a lot is your group participates In no private thoughts and no people pleasing And when we've talked about it I mean I've heard things said under that premise That are very hurtful And I know that the course is always about being kind So I wonder how you draw your lines on that And how you, you know, I mean Mindfulness on harmlessness No harm, no injury of being kind How do you deal with no private thoughts When you guys are spewing out things That could be hurtful Not you in particular But some of the times I've met With people from those groups They've said like our Mel Had told me that Eric had told her That she was fat one time And I thought wow I mean that could be suicide For some women So I was just wondering how that How that gets navigated through Yeah, yeah that's good We have a process online That we've kind of put down Called the clarity process Because it's really getting at the essence Of what you're saying It's not kind of a formula Or a ritual or just a license To say anything Because if it was just taken on the surface And maybe misinterpreted It could seem like That's just a license to speak anything Like a weapon, yeah And we're certainly not In the attempt to blame Or fault find Or you know make guilty in any way So really there's an underlying presence Underneath those principles It could be illustrated like When I went to China for example Communist China There's a lot of in the culture Kind of a lot of systematic denial And repression And so for me going there And sharing those principles It was like a green light To turn the table Instead of denying and repressing anything They just would come out And of course it was almost like They were so eager to try them out That we a couple of times I was over there I was over there so it would be four times A phenomenon happened over there That I had never seen in any of my gatherings Anywhere in other 30 countries Was fights breaking out Among course students Physically going after each other And the emotions were very raw But overall there was a context Of great relief and joy Like when I would do an expression session I would come around And they would all get into a big circle With me to try to do a small group But there was 100 people there So we had to do kind of a Gangaji hut seed thing And work that out So everybody could vicariously Kind of join in that way But they were so grateful That they put a chair And they put me in the middle of the group And then another chair And then one by one They would come out and express To me and let up and cry And let up all their emotions So we're talking about a sense of Presence or non-judgment And practicing the presence And then there's a great allowance To let the thoughts and the emotions up Which is a first step in healing If they've been denied from awareness So when we say no private thoughts It's not meaning that you should not Have private thoughts It's really taking from the workbook Where Jesus says You have no private thoughts And yet that's all that you are aware of So we have to start with Where the mind seems to be And kind of release the pressure And let that come up But there's in the clarity process We have things that are very similar To non-violent communication techniques You know, no crosstalk Not cutting people off Interrupting people Let people go through Let their emotions up No advice giving Occasionally we'll have the Armchair psychologist Or psychotherapist As soon as somebody just begins To get in touch with their emotions And their thoughts There's this advice that will come in Almost like a little Spiritual psychotherapy We don't encourage that We'll even have a facilitator Just say no please Don't do that refrain From doing that Let them continue Let them work through it And so with that presence That's really developed Very strongly in our community And it's worked so well Actually in our community After years of having these expression sessions And practicing these principles We're now getting into higher and higher states of mind Really transcendent states Where there are those that really don't Have or need expression sessions Neither do they find it helpful Just to sit in them Because that was just like an earlier phase And those techniques and those opportunities Are no longer necessary anymore So it's getting quite harmonious And in many of the centers There's expressions of joy That come out But there's not this kind of constant Parade of darkness coming out It's actually working so well That the mind is going higher and higher Into what the Course calls true empathy Which is what's real and what's true But there had to be a great allowance And a great permission To go through that process Of allowing the darkness out And you can practice that of course In a relationship or in a small group I know Sundari has had some of that out here And Serena's had some expression sessions There are those out here That have been using some of those And it's the presence underneath That's the most important Not just trying to speak thoughts And kind of let all these emotions up Like a volcanic reaction Without any discernment And I think as you go along You do find that if you don't have A trusted friend or a group Then there's a lot of discernment That goes into getting in touch And sharing things Because things can easily be misinterpreted And you almost feel like One step forward, two steps back If you've shared in a way That really wasn't appropriate Or helpful or guided If there wasn't a sense of discernment Then it can almost seem like a setback And we did work with that a little bit With the Chinese groups too Because a lot of the online groups They misinterpreted the guidelines And so there was all these Vicious cursing going on In some of the groups And there would be some course teachers Over in China just saying I don't really think this is what was intended Probably because it was online And there was people who was just type chats A lot of them Then there wasn't the sense of Holding back like people do If they're the proximity with others Behind online avatars And presences and so forth And symbols But those things evolve too I think at some point people start to realize That's not working either That's not the intention of that practice Question Yeah So thank you That's a good question That really gets down to the heart of things Are you coming to mind for you on that? I don't know But we'll see what comes out Yeah I'm still stuck at an expression-sent session Calling someone else fat Can't imagine any reason to call To tell someone that they are fat In a loving way I don't know I can't imagine any Helpful purpose that would serve And it... Man, I just... I listened to what you were saying And I can think of it That hasn't answered the question It's not answering the question And I wondered, well, what is the question? And the question was How can a guy like that be in a course in miracles? He's in a... People like that People like that aren't supposed to be In a course in miracles And so I realized, oh, man There's just this outrage Going on and finger pointing Going on left, right and center And I don't know what I wanted from your answer I didn't get it It's a brilliant way No That's so beautiful You're having an expression-sent session already That's what I do That's beautiful, thank you Yeah, it's so important Like the course is saying It's just all projected Everything is projected The whole world, in fact Not only the thoughts And so when we see That we have thoughts coming up in the mind And we project like anger about that Then it's something that we cannot see Within ourselves, the courses So it's this thing like Byron Katie You've probably heard about Byron Katie And how she turns around the thoughts Like whatever we're reacting to If we swap it around And look at our own thoughts about it Like, do I think I am fat If I'm getting upset That someone is saying That someone else is fat Do I think that I'm fat? And so that's more like On the surface level, so to speak But really, when we have practised That's what you've been saying About all of the projections And all of that It's like, all about the fear Of being present, fully present And not having anything that touch That our mind can be so still That we just allow it to be in this vastness And so all of those thoughts Are thoughts that we want to put there And the way of the connection with love And the way of the connection with the presence So whatever those thoughts are It's always something that we want to distract ourselves with When we get the help and support To look at them without any guilt Or any blame or any shame Then we are released And it's this beauty That we can allow ourselves to be So I feel it's so beautiful to have The opportunity of hearing What seems to be projections But, you know, so much Because then it's like If we have reactions about it It's our own problem And that's what the Course is saying It's like, whatever is happening on the screen If I see a problem in it That's how I want to see it Yeah I've had some darkness show up in our family Obtained to a death And it's a death of my father And it's really, this is a projection And this whole experience of projection It's really for myself Being the contact person Powered turning but not on the physical realm Of forgiveness of some stuff That had to take place That sped up his capacity, if you will And so if that's a projection How do you forgive and let go And embrace, if you will Bring light into a situation like that Yeah, you might say that It's the Holy Spirit's convincing job To convince the mind That the world that you perceive Is not separate from your mind So if we go back to all the great spiritual teachings They say that it seems to be a subject and an object Or a perceiver and a perceived And if you look at those Course in Miracles workbook lessons They're really helping you get in touch with your thoughts Which not everyone's touched with all their thoughts And start to make the association That all the thoughts that I think I think And all the images that I think I see Are actually the same There really is no external world But projection makes it seem as if There is something external to the mind And so thoughts are not seen as images They're seen as separate Think of thoughts as kind of these invisible Things that are whirling around inside of an individual mind And the external world is completely different From those thoughts and the Course through the workbook training Is teaching you that they're the same And that the only way you'll have peace of mind Is to let them go completely Without any exception So when we're talking about thoughts about death Also this is a world where there seems to be external causation And something that would speed up someone's death There can be a lot of opinions on that And a lot of discussion and judgments that can go on around that And as you practice with this more and more You just start to see these judgments And these thoughts are in mind to be released Which is lesson number 23 I can escape the world I see by giving up attack thoughts But the trick of the ego is it seems like It's made up a projected world of duality And so attacking and being attacked Seem to be very, very different One seems to be the victimizer One seems to be the victim And the training of the workbook is to show you That actually they're both the same That attack thoughts are just attack thoughts But you can't give them up as long as you keep Splitting them up and thinking There's one to be pitied and one to be blamed Start projecting it out that way So it's really undoing this idea of a dualistic world When the split of trying to hold on to the spirit thought system And the ego thought system is intolerable It's like trying to hold on to light and darkness And then that gets projected out into the world It's the conflicts, the wars, the disagreements The fights, the struggles, the challenges are all external Whether it's between people or between countries Whether it's between the individual and society Or even when you take a walk in nature And the mosquito comes up and bites you And it seems like there's a conflict between the mosquito And a little red bump appearing That itches, you know, there's an irritation But it's still a projection of that split in the mind And that's what we're trying to heal And also the discernment comes in I'll go back to the original question here too About the fact The context of that was this is a husband and wife I might not make it any better initially But it was also in the context of being called Into a very deep calling Of wanting to end the cycle of denial and repression And wanting to speak freely and openly And some people might say that's not really Nonviolent communication Saying that someone's bad But it was said in the context I have thoughts about you being bad Those are like expectations around You know, body shape and size And all kinds of things that are just part of The self-concept of the ego And so this was the context of two people Husband and wife had a long retreat I believe it was a four-week retreat Wasn't that the first one? Or was that context? And starting to just open up About the thoughts and the emotions And the other thing I think that's important Is that wasn't really an expression session As we're talking about it It involves more of the context of a group This is a husband and wife who are on a spiritual journey And who have kind of made a covenant or a pact That they're not going to hide these thoughts From each other And they're going to open their hearts up Upon invitation And so it's a lot different When you have an invitation When you have a relationship Where there's enough strength and love And trust in a relationship Where you can invite that As opposed to that coming out of left field By itself, taken out of context It could seem to be outrageous Completely outrageous Something that would never be encouraged But in the context of that Which is so important I know that when I Practiced the course many years ago And I got very, very joyful and very, very happy That people started showing up At my doorstep literally saying I am your student, I am your student And I, before long I had It was like instant pudding I had Like a whole group of students Which I did not plan on at all Where are we going to go Where do we put these people And what do we do with this And then very quickly though I said, well really This is not about correcting your brother Many people know that passage in the course About don't correct your brother Because your brother is the Christ And the only way that that Makes any sense in a spiritual Context is if there is an invitation So when the students would say Please point things out to me Please If you see anything Say it And that kind of invitation Is very, very different from The context of just comments Open comments between strangers Where there is no invitation The invitation I found was very important Because I would never even Be begun to Work with the students in a very close way Unless I had that invitation first In fact I had one woman who was married And Her husband was not a course student He was Orthodox Jewish And you know I would get together and go over to their house She gave me the invitation to point out everything He did not I would sit with him Watched the basketball games We would laugh at just all this joy And he would occasionally over here Some of our topics and he was quite curious But he never gave the invitation To point anything out She did And so it was kind of fun In the context of those two Because I was quite light hearted with him And I could be very Direct with her And people would say wow It is amazing how you work differently With both of them But it was based on the invitation The invitation was there So that made a big difference And I think You can apply that pretty generally That most of the people In this world do not study metaphysics They are not all philosophy majors And They do not really want you Prying in their minds It is like thank you very much Smile, change the subject Talk about the weather Change the conversation completely Because they are just not ready And the course is not telling us To try to heal people It is really about Going inside and realizing It is always our lesson It is our lesson in mind There is no exception to that So that starts to give a little bit of context To the nuances That we are talking about here For a lot of them There is a lot of discernment that is required Yeah, that is the same thing For the community too If you would be at any of our expressions You would just have to say yes To that you want to be there And so that is the first thing Of course like this invitation And also the same thing I am feeling like with relationships Jesus is talking about it in the course That this is something That is very powerful for us To enter a relationship together Because you will really see All of the stuff coming up And that is again upon invitation I have even had my husband Once he was in such a rage And I was just kissing him And holding him And he just went You and blah blah blah And I was just kissing And holding Ra, ra, ra And then he just went You know, it's more silent So it's this thing that we We never know how it's going to look like And the spirits got it And if it's a group like that It's totally facilitated By someone that can hold the space there To help you go through it And then once you have Practiced that, that is something That you can bring in if you do Have a relationship that you go in And you say this is actually And that is your goal Then it's a whole other situation Than having one that is In for the healing of the mind And one that is not thinking of that So it's totally different things And what you Your explanation I had no idea Such a A sense of pain, a split Just like it was a chocolate chip cookie Made of nuts and bolts And bits of cement Up in here until you said Married couple And all of a sudden something shifted And I felt such love For that couple Just love And it's still And there's still a part of me That attacked that unknown person Who called someone I don't even know that That chocolate chip cookie Is still in there It's like it's just wedged in there Yes There's a real conflict Going on and it's visceral But the idea of Loving that couple To have the courage And the love to go To do that It just It's really Having quite an effect on me Yeah that's beautiful, that's in the beginning When I was with David I just had so many thoughts about David And the body of David and all of it And it was just distracting me I could not join with him for that Because I had those thoughts And I was just like I don't know what to do, it was like The first day we met When we were in Stockholm or something And it was just like bogging down my mind And I was like I gotta say this to you David And we were partnered up too And so I had to say it I had to say it, I was like I know that we're going to be together But I think this and this and this And he was just like Aww, you know Just smiling at me You know this beauty Of just being able to say everything And then when we've said it We can help that What seems to be contracted in the heart To just loosen up So that we're not carrying that heaviness Of Just continue projecting because That's ending When we don't hold on To anything anymore We just let everything go That's not the reason why That's not the reason why That's not the reason why The problem's not out there You have to look inside That's saying that someone is Someone is The words that seem to hurt The words that seem to hurt Are only in your mind And that's where you Must search