 the Jack Benny program transcribe presented by пред ripe luckies are milder smoother and milder with never a rough pop yes scientific tests prove lucky strike is milder than any other Principal brand of cigarettes. These scientific tests are confirmed by three three independent consulting laboratories and they prove lucky strike mildest of six major brands tested there's no doubt when you light up a lucky you get a smoother smoking milder tasting cigarette and you enjoy the rich taste of fine tobacco because LS MFT LS MFT lucky strike means fine tobacco fine like naturally mild tobacco that gives you more real deep down smoking enjoyment so for the rich taste of fine tobacco for smoothness and mildness with never a rough puff light up a lucky yes prove to yourself what scientific tests prove lucky strike is milder than any other principal brand of cigarettes make your next carton lucky strike the lucky strike program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston Phil Harris Rochester Dennis Dean yours truly Don Wilson ladies and gentlemen right now our little star is traveling throughout the country on a personal appearance tour tonight he's in Cleveland Ohio so let us take you to the Civic Auditorium to Jack's dressing room Rochester Rochester just a minute boss I'm putting the star on your dressing room door oh good good yes sir when people look at this door they'll not only know that you're the star of the show but that you also come from California they will yeah I made the star out of an orange field not being silly making a star out of an orange peel come on in here just a minute wait a while I like the smudge part never mind I'll come in here and straighten out my clothes yes sir by the way did you clean the suit I wore in the last show you mean the one with the rose in the lapel that's not a rose while I was playing my violin some smart Alec hit me with a tomato you know Rochester talking about tomatoes and oranges has made me hungry for some fruit well let's wait and see what the next show brings yeah silly to buy it when people are so generous now Rochester straighten up my dressing room table so that I can come in mr. Benny yes my name is Kerns I'm a reporter on one of the local papers oh how do you do mr. Kern how do you do now mr. Benny would you mind giving me some information about your personal appearance tour that is where do you go from here well tomorrow night will be in Pittsburgh Tuesday Buffalo Wednesday Toronto Thursday Syracuse Friday Montreal Saturday Boston and next Sunday June 4th at Carnegie Hall in New York City for the Damon Runyon Fund and our last day June 5th is in Scranton Pennsylvania and then we sail for London to play the Palladium Theater well you certainly have a heavy schedule with your radio program and all oh no no no you see today I do my last program of the season oh I didn't know that you know I'm one of your regular listeners and I'll certainly miss you during the summer well thank you in fact I'll miss your whole gang now they'll be very happy to hear that say mr. Benny I just got an idea that make a very interesting story for my paper your cast has been with you for such a long time I'm sure my readers would like to know how you first met each one of them well let's start with Mary as she joined me on the radio about three months after I got started I was in Los Angeles at the time I'm almost 18 years ago I happened to step into the May Company the matter of fact I bought this shirt I'm wearing they give guarantees you know anyway it was in the latter part of 1932 I had purchased my shirt I gave the man a dollar and was waiting for my change I don't know why they always have to go upstairs to get the change oh well just a jiggaloo everywhere I go and people know the part I'm playing see that's a catchy new tune hey look at that beautiful girl behind the hosary counter what a chicken I think she's I think she's looking at me too after I get my change I'll go over and try to date her up say Mary Mary what is it to Lula look at that guy over there he's staring at you where right over there at the shirt counter say he looks kind of prosperous don't need how can you tell with those bell bottom pants he might be barefoot look at him he's winking at us yeah and get a load of that straw hat he's wearing with the bright red ribbon on it yeah and look what it says on it the walkie can kid hey to Lula he's tipping his hat at us yeah he's got the string in his pocket wait a minute he's coming over here you want me to take him Mary no no I can handle him just a jiggaloo I everywhere I go and people know the part I'm playing lucky's walking like Cedar Bearer yeah just a jiggaloo every hello kiddo where have you been all my life avoiding it hey you're sharp I like tomatoes with a little spice hey baby what's your name Mary Mary what quite contrary oh brother is this guy corny what was that look my name is Mary Livingston I was born in Plainfield New Jersey I know I should be in pictures but I'm happy here at the May Company and they think I'm a very good sales girl now what do you want wait a minute wait a minute take it easy you got me wrong baby don't you know who I am no thrill me well take a grip on the counter baby because I'm gonna enlighten you I happen to be Jack Benny well what do you know hey Tallulah he's Jack Benny I don't know ask him oh you're kidding you know who I am you ought to go out with me I've been on the radio three months so what my lamp's been on the radio three years and I won't go out with that either say you're pretty fast on the trigger what are you doing working here in the department store you know you should be on the radio well I tell you Tallulah I knew it was coming what my mother told me there'd be men like you but I thought they'd be much younger hey you're terrific listen baby you got everything it takes good looks and I speaking voice and what a personality how bad you tell that's all the girls no I don't listen Mary you ought to be on the radio with me I'll get your places you'll be a big star hey you're not kidding are you of course not look at why don't you meet me tonight for dinner and we'll talk things over and that mr. Kerns is how I found Miss Livingston that's a very interesting story mr. Benny thank you Don Wilson's been with you for a long time too hasn't yes I don't know what I do without Donzie but you know there was one year when I really got mad at him it happened in 1946 it was the opening of that season well Don here we are at the start of another season that's right Jack how does feel to get back in the groove I'll tell you the truth I'm a little excited I've got a nervous stomach no just how you feel Jack I've got a nervous stomach too well you're just about 30 inches more nervous than I am but you'll be all right sit down if you got everything all set for your part of the program you know just the way you want it as you have Jack I took the liberty of hiring a quartet to work with me during the commercial a quartet well that sounds novel Jack I thought it was so novel that I put them on a contract for eight weeks and it'll only cost you $500 a week that isn't too much is it why no I mean no Don that quartet must be sensational for that kind of money all they are Jack now this will start a new style in radio talking commercials with a big vocal background you'll be crazy about it I know but $500 well if it's as good as you say it might be worth it can I hear him now why certainly Jack say fellas come on up to the microphone hmm nice looking boys okay down let's hear this musical commercial okay ready boys LS MFT LS MFT yes sir you bet lucky strike means fine tobacco yes lucky strike means fine tobacco hmm yes ladies and gentlemen in a cigarette it's the tobacco that comes and lucky strike means fine tobacco so round so firm so fully packed so free and easy on the draw lucky strikes are made of that fine that light that naturally mild tobacco so for real deep down smoking enjoyment smoke that smoke of fine tobacco lucky strike for for this I'm paying $500 done done Moby Dick get them out of here oh now don't get excited Jack they can really sing I give them another chance well okay but they better sing good oh they will Jack all right fellas take it LS MFT LS MFT LMNOP oh Robert E Lee Robert E Lee LS and me me me me oh share share you love them way way way way LS MFT la la la la MFT la la la la that's the smoke of smoke for me la la la wait a minute and that that mr. Kerns and that mr. Kerns was why I got so mad at Don Wilson but I really shouldn't have because today the sportsman quartet is really quite successful as a matter of fact right now they're appearing at the Fairmont Hotel in San Francisco oh then you like the quartet now yes yes you see when they sing it's so soothing because it it drowns out Phil Harris's orchestration I know what you mean and now that you mentioned Phil mr. Benny how did you ever find him anyway Phil Harris well it was about 14 years ago one evening Mary and I were taking a walk down Figaroa Street say Mary we've walked quite a ways say before we catch the bus back home again would you like to step into this nightclub and relax a little what night club this place right here they got a band and everything and look at that poster on the wall Phil Harris and the sweetest music this side of the Hyperion outfall Phil Harris I never heard of him and what a nightclub this is an awful joint I don't want to go here well look Mary I'm looking for an orchestra leader for my program maybe this guy'll be the one come on let's go but Jack it's way down those stairs what's the difference let's go down anyway and what watch your step one let's rest I go down any farther I'll get the bends I think we hit bottom Jack here's the door oh yes that guy Harris hey he knows he knows all the new tune yeah but how can people dance on that bare ground well they they probably sprinkle it with water to make it slippery you know helps keep the dust down to let's find a table maybe that man will get its one oh yes pardon me are you the waiter well what do you think I am with this napkin over my arm a new father oh I'm sorry but you're dressed too nice to be working in a joint like this oh you mean these striped pants in this Prince Albert Coe well you see I wear these clothes on my other job other job yes I'm an undertaker's assistant oh it was my idea to put the candles on the table and now would you like to have me find a table and lay you out I mean seat you yes please come on Mary here you are now what would you like to eat nothing thank you we just came in to hear the band well you might as well order something there's a 35 cent minimum 35 cents well I'll have a chicken sandwich and a combination salad and I'll have a steak sandwich and french fried potatoes anything to drink no you might as well you've got 15 cents to go well uh well bring us coffee imagine that waiter an undertaker's assistant Jack look the show's about to start good I'm anxious to hear this guy Phil Harris hi you folks and welcome to our little club this is your orchestra leader and master of ceremonies the one and only Phil Harris are you glad to see me well we've got a nice crowd here tonight hey Mary Mary he has a swell personality we'll see and speaking of proud folks the funny thing happened to me on the way to the club today the guy walked up to me and said hey Harris where'd you get the black eye so I told him it was a birthmark and he said a birthmark and I said yeah I got in the wrong birth no lady don't explain it to him if he don't get it just let him suffer let him lay there hey Mary Mary did you get it I got it all over me oh quiet he's good hey here's another one folks this will embalm you embalm you did somebody call for me quiet he's going to tell another joke hey get this folks seeing you bum there's been a request that I say so now I'm going to do a little number that I wrote myself it's entitled that's what I like about the song which comes with me to alabamy let's go see my dear old mammy she's frying eggs and broiling hammy that's what I like about well folks that concludes our first show but don't go away we have another complete new show in five minutes say Mary Mary this guy is terrific he'd be great down the radio he's got something new something different oh you say that every time you see a man with hair look I don't care what you think I'm going to get him over here hey waiter waiter will you please bring the auction leader over to my table I'm sorry he doesn't come with the 35 cent dinner never mind the wisecracks bring him over here all right all right I don't know Mary but this guy Harris really has a great cigarette cigarette Cupid dolls god dingus and razor blades imagine razor blades oh miss give me a package of cigarettes please yes the what kind a lucky strike uh jack do you smoke lucky strikes certainly Mary they're wonderful and who can tell you know I may be working for them someday oh by the way miss what's that you've got on your cray there tied up in a pink ribbon that's a lock of mr harris's hair 20 cents oh well I don't want it you better take it this is the last one left and we don't share them again till the first of the month no no thanks just the same here are your luck keys thank you say Mary she's kind of cute oh you fall back wait a minute wait a minute here comes Bill Harris hey uh I understand one of your cookies want to see me well yes yes sit down this is miss living stand ah hi babe my name is jack Benny look but I ain't got much time what do you want to see me about well I wanted to talk to you about a job job yes can you wait on tables I don't mean that I've got a job look at you see I have a radio program and I'd like you and your band to be on my show mr harris just call me curly oh till the first of the month oh yes your cigarette girl told me yes now mr harris radio is a different type of work you read music of course huh I mean music notes arrangements what's that on your on your music racks termites the joints lousy with oh Harris how could you be so bright when it's so dark down there see Mary this guy's got a terrific sense of humor he'd probably be able to write my jokes for me I'll settle if he could just write now look Harris I want you on my program so if you'll meet me Sunday morning at the studio we'll talk it over okay I'll be there hey max sprinkle the floor again the customers want to dance and that mr kerns is how I met Phil Harris well that's quite a story and mr Benny just how did you discover Dennis day Dennis day well to tell you the truth Mary discovered him really yes it was about 10 years ago I was looking for a singer for my program and one day Mary came rushing into my house jack jack right here Mary what is it have you found a new singer yet no well I found one his name is Dennis day look here's a picture of him say if the kid can sing he's just what I want look at that face those bright intelligent eyes I knew you'd like it so I called his house and told him to come right over so you could meet him well Mary when he gets here let me do all maybe that's him now I'll answer the door hello mr Benny that's mr Benny over there say kid yes please say you're really polite aren't you oh yes my mother told me never to be fresh to old folks now kid how would you like to be on the radio oh I'd like that very much in fact I'd like to get any kind of a job then I wouldn't have to let my father cut my hair your father cut your hair yeah yesterday while he was giving me a trim he cut one of my ears off cut one of your ears off wait a minute kid you've got two ears now yes look Mary you'll never do you'll never do this fella he won't be good I'm telling you he'll never you won't be able to stand him I know Jack you can just use of this thing he doesn't have to say anything I guess so well kid how would you like to work on my program well I'll have to ask my mother first your mother she's right outside I'll go call her oh mother mother don't mind her greasy overalls she just came from work oh mother this is mr Benny how do you do how do you do now mrs day she had to put her pipe wrench on my piano what are you mumbling about mrs day I'd like to have your son on my radio program oh mr Benny you don't know what this means to us just a few minutes ago my son was nothing and now he's the star of your show star he'll have lines to read songs to sing he'll have his own dressing room and he'll be treated with the utmost respect yeah that most now look mrs day I want you to boy to be on my program but I just want him to sing a song are you trying to hold him down my boy has talent he'll sing two songs mrs day put down that wrench not on the piano nobody shout and you've got a lot of nerve invading the privacy of a man's house after all this is a private home what's private about it you've got a lemonade stand on the lawn a cute box in the living room a payphone in the hall and a row of bendix washing machines on the back floor there's no business like show business now look mrs day if you want your boy to be on my program just be at my lawyer's office tomorrow morning gee he's suing us already I'm not suing you and go see I'm afraid Mary really that was quite a story mr Benny and I understand that through the years Dennis has learned to love you like a father yes but his mother still hates me by the way mr Benny while you're off the air for the summer who's going to replace you oh I'm glad you asked me that we have a wonderful show for the summer now my time every sunday will be filled by guy Lombardo and his orchestra and it's really a very very fine show oh yes yeah he's great say boss you'll be on in a few minutes oh thanks Rochester well I got to be running along now mr Kerns goodbye bye mr Benny say Rochester you've been with mr Benny for a long time haven't you oh yes about 12 years 12 years say that is a long time yes sir well Rochester I suppose your salaries increased considerably since you first started well mr Benny gave me raises for the first four years and then it suddenly stopped why what happened he adopted me say Rochester what's that lying on the dressing table uh-oh mr Benny forgot it oh boss boss yes Rochester you forgot it again oh well I got to get right on the stage throw it to me well what do you know he caught it right on his Rochester great national hazards is fire each year more than 10,000 people lose their lives in fires and in nine cases out of 10 these fires were caused by carelessness be sure it doesn't happen to you but that match a cigarette out before you discard it take every precaution you can to prevent fires thank you give me back in just a moment but first in a cigarette mildness is a true measure of smoking enjoyment so light up a lucky because luckies are milder smoother and milder with never a rough puff yes scientific tests prove lucky strike is milder than any other principal brand of cigarettes these scientific tests are confirmed by three independent consulting laboratories and they prove lucky strike mildest of six major brands tested and no wonder it takes fine tobacco to make a fine cigarette and ls mft ls mft lucky strike means fine tobacco fine light naturally mild tobacco so for more real deep down smoking enjoyment for a milder tasting cigarette with never a rough puff smoke a lucky you'll enjoy the smooth rich taste of lucky's fine tobacco you'll prove to yourself what scientific tests prove lucky strike is milder than any other principal brand of cigarettes try a carton of lucky strike well folks this closes another season but we'll be with you again on sunday september 10 in the meantime be sure to listen to guy lombardo and his orchestra i want to thank everybody connected with my show and all you listeners for making this past season so pleasant good night everybody be sure to hear denise day in a day in the life of denise day listen next week at the same time for guy lombardo and his orchestra over most of the same station the jack venny program came to you transcribe this is cbs the corumbia broadcasting system