 Well hello and welcome to Understand Men Now. I'm Jonathan Asley of JonathanAsley.com and I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today. Our topic, the shocking reason why he won't commit to you. That's, look at that. That's commitment right there. You can't pull it apart. And it's not your fault, okay? Now really quickly, if you're new to my YouTube channel, please hit the subscribe button, hit the bell. I shoot about three videos a week along with one YouTube live every Friday or at least I'm attempting to. So join me on my lives as well for the Q&A. All right, the shocking reason why he won't commit to you. It's not your fault. So I want to read you something. I'm gonna have to put on my glasses here for a second. By the way, I'm getting a, I actually went to the optometrist and I'm not gonna be using these readers anymore. Actually, for the first time in my life, I'm over 50. I'm actually getting real reading glasses. But I want to read to you the definition of commitment. And there's two definitions, it says a noun. And there's two definitions. One is the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause or an activity. Okay? The state or quality of being dedicated to a cause or activity. Now the second definition of commitment says an engagement or obligation that restricts freedom of action. An engagement or obligation that restricts freedom or action. Now, right off the bat, I'm sure many of you heard that second one and it's probably beginning to make sense why some men are avoidant of commitment. In fact, a vast majority of men are reluctant for commitment because it might feel like a restriction to one's freedom. Okay, it might feel like restriction to one's freedom. And this is especially true for men in midlife. Okay? By the way, women as well. So we might feel like being in a fully committed relationship restricts our ability to be free. Okay? So this is that's why I'm saying it's not your fault why some men are not going the full distance of commitment. But this is where you can shift and make a big difference in your relationship life. Because what was that first definition of commitment? I want to read this to you. A state or quality of being dedicated to a cause dedicated to a cause. So I want you to think about that for those that are in their 20s and 30s. What's the predominant cause that causes people to get married? The number one cause, if you will, the number one activity is centered around making babies and raising a family, making babies and raising a family. In other words, you have the shared vision, this shared cause and you know, like cause when I think of cause like I'm for a charity. It's a cause in my life. But the idea is that you have this common shared cause, this common shared activity. And for the most part, it's easy to choose a mate when it's centered around the idea of starting a family. So many cases men are in search of a wife, a spouse, not all but a significant number. This is where it gets tricky in midlife because now, I want you to think about this, roughly 75% of singles looking for love that are over 45 years old are divorced. Now that's not an absolute statistic, that's anecdotal but it's not that far off and then we've got the never married crowd and then we have the widower crowd in there. But I want you to think about this. The relationships that men people are seeking is centered around companionship, connection and sex because they're filling this void but they're not seeking that common cause. I want you to look at like a commitment like this, it's hard to break it apart because you share this common cause. But it's really difficult when you come to the table with your luggage and he comes to the table with his luggage and you don't know how to make them like this to get them to become like this, to how to blend them together. This is why if you need help, this is my area of expertise. For those women that are single looking for love, I'm here to help you identify those men who are capable of commitment who are emotionally healthy for commitment. That's why check out a link to a free discovery call with me because if you want a great guy in your life and you're single looking for love, then you definitely want to schedule a session with me or at least to hear about my coaching program. Now one of the things every client must go through is reading my book. What the heck is self-love anyway? Self-love is a this book is a journey of personal development, self-help and spiritual work to get you to that foundational piece of understanding what a relationship looks like for you. And if you haven't read the book, if you haven't read the book, if the Buddha dated, I love this book. This teaches you so much about the mechanics to a healthy happy relationship. Along with the book, where is eight dates right here? Eight dates by Dr. John Gottman. You've got to get this book as well. If check out the link to Jonathan recommend books. Highly recommend these books because ladies, most of you, this is the sad shocking truth, most of you are choosing to be in relationship with men and most women are in the same category too. You want companionship, you want connection, you want sex, but you don't know how to build the roots, build the roots to a deeper intimate loving relationship. And this is why I say to you ladies all the time, you are in charge of your relationship destiny because men are effing clueless. They have no awareness around this whatsoever. I've recently started coaching men in their 40s and I can tell you there's good men out there, but they're just not aware because these books are purchased 80% more by women than by men or eight times more, excuse me, by women than men. So let's just accept this instead of leaning back and being in your feminine energy and just waiting for that guy to claim you. How effing good does that really work? Does that really work for you? Listen, I'm your big brother. I'm here to protect you from the guys who are gonna be the jerks, but I also want to help prepare you for the good guys out here just like your big brother would. So I'm here to knock some sense into you. I'm shaking the camera. Sometimes I yell and scream. I know some of you don't like it when I yell. I get it, but it's just passion. That's all it is. I'm sorry if it offends a few of you, but it's just my passion to shake and wake things up. Is it working? Is my content making a difference? Please post a comment. I want to know if this is making a difference. Is this making sense? Understanding that a common cause is needed for a relationship to have any potential for going the distance. And without a common cause, you're gonna have a challenge. So my invitation for you is also figure out what is your common cause other than, well, we just love each other and everything will magically work out because love is not the common cause. It's knowing what the roots are. Read this book so you can learn it. This will help. All these books I recommend. All right. I hope I'm making sense. Hope this is sinking in. I hope it's resonating. And if it is, like I said, post a comment. All right. I'm gonna wrap up this video as I always do. First off, I'm gonna grab my teddy bear here and hold them in here. First off, I'm gonna give myself a big gigantic Jonathan Bear hug of self love. I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone or a pet or a teddy bear or a pillow and give it a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love and we can all use more love in our lives. Thanks a bunch. Bye-bye now.