For the second time, pundits and news anchors urgently break into song to deliver the news.
The players in the news opera include:
Ruth Marcus on gay marriage
Kiran Chetry on marijuana
Sean Hannity and Hillary Clinton on pirates
Katie Couric on melting ice
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RM: This was a pretty remarkable week on the gay marriage front
First of all, to have a state like Iowa
MG: Whatchoo tryna say about Iowa
RM: Not the east coast state
MG: East coast
RM: Not the left coast state
MG: Left coast
RM: In a decision written by a republican appointee
MG: shawty, now you sounding so fine
Give me your number, we can bump and grind
Talkin about politics all night
Leavin the club in the mornin light
If we get carried away
We might get gay-married today
KC: We just heard from some of our viewers who strongly support legalizing marijuana
MG: Shawty, 5 of those calls was from me
KC: Do you think we should legalize pot alone or all drugs, including heroin, cocaine, and meth?
MG: My brain says no, but my body says yes!
AG: I'm an angry gorilla. I heard you needed me (ooh ooh ah ah)
SH: Now that Captain Phillips has been successfully rescued
The president has decided to step in front of the spotlight
AG: Ooh, I'm angry! You can't see it, but my forehead's veiny
SH: And even take some credit for authorizing the mission
AG: Well, don't you worry, baby boo
You'll always have an angry gorilla to be angry with you
That's what I do. Just ask Donkey Kong. He's in my crew
KC: At the North Pole, new satellite photos show arctic ice is melting so fast
AG: Oh snap, how fast?
KC: Many scientists now predict it will be gone within 30 years
AG: Surely you jest! I'm under cardiac arrest, shawty
KC: Some researchers think it could disappear in just six
KC: Without it there could be a snowball effect
KC: With temperatures rising even faster
If we all don't take bold action and take it soon
Both: We will find ourselves on very thin ice
MG: Tell em, Hillary, pirates on very thin ice
HC: These pirates are criminals
They are armed gangs on the sea
MG: That means the ocean
HC: The United States does not make concessions
Or ransom payments to pirates
MG: Hello, shawty, we can meet up at the mall
Browse around at the bookstore
Mentally ball until we fall