 How do we as women, especially getting married young, and questioning both cultural and religious understanding of Islam, navigate the definition of Qawama, that usually is explained as quote unquote, wife has to be obedient and turn for financial support from husband. And that's the extent of the role. What is the way we as women should understand this role men play, and what does it look like to obey as a wife? This needs a whole next, no, I didn't mean this. This is going to be the next one, because we agreed that we're going to tackle every sensitive issue. Because if we are not going to be talking about it, who else is going to talk about it, right? And we need to, in general, this is very difficult, there's a couple of things in Islam. And I'm saying this as a woman, it's very difficult on the woman. What is the second one? Very difficult. You don't see it in this country, because it's not allowed. Polygamy. Yeah, when I was in Saudi, this was a huge issue. Because it's very hard for the woman, so come to reality. Number one, you need to understand what is Qawama? And what is the requirement for Qawama? In general, when I shared with you the story of Sayyida Aisha, right? How did she respond? And there's nobody stronger than Sayyida Aisha, if you really read her biography, right? She stood up for her right, she speaks her mind, she acted as a wife, she was jealous, she planned, you all know this, right? How did she respond? Was she an obedient wife? Answer me. No? Or yes? Yes? Was she weak? Was she submissive and let them say whatever they say, what can I do, you know, he pays for me? What did she do? Listen to Allah, this is what we are missing. I need to understand what is Qawama? I need to understand, where does Qawama apply? Does Allah expect me to be the obedient wife? Yes, to a certain extent, it's not an open invitation. Otherwise, Allah knows our ability and our limitation, and marriage will be honestly almost impossible. But is it also exactly what you just said, open invitation, know for everything? This is your mind, you know the 50-50 rule? You don't know the 50-50? I'm not going to say it in public, honest. So we don't want to go to the extremes, now you should probably enough, it shouldn't be the extreme, he does this, I does this. If he doesn't do it, I'm not doing it, that's not going to work. What? The Hadith I had actually in my mind, but the time didn't allow it, in Nisa Ashaqa'i Qurrijal, that's the Hadith of Rasulullah, and you translated it as the following. The women are but partners of their men. So here you go, what does it will take if I am going to give him the Qawama? Because Allah told me, provided he is qualified to do the Qawama, the 50-50, the joint account is not a Qawama. You need to read the Qur'an, the Qawama is because he spent on her, there is no 50-50, there is no joint account. If you are the richest woman, it's your money. If that's how it is in your home, then yes. You obey him as long as there's no disobedience to Allah, as long as there's no abuse. It's not a yes and no right away. The culture is telling us no, and we think it's not a yes, and that's where the conflict. You need to learn, you need to be patient, you need to navigate, and you need to put your mind, the goal after pleasing Allah, can I save this marriage? Can I be this woman? We need to have a lot of talk about marriage before they get married. And I'm sure Dr. Ranaad Aranya knows this, the percentage of divorce in the Muslim community is getting very close to the non-Muslim. It's 47%. I had a woman came to my house, knocked on the door, gave me the invitation, I said, please make du'a. So of course I'm making, I said, please make du'a, they stay married. Wallahi, I was like subhanAllah. So Qawama has a requirement from the man, has a requirement from the woman, is not do or don't.