 Hey, Tony Gaskins here now. I'm just it's not really a live video. It's live, but I'm just shooting it I'm shooting it live just so that I can so it can upload so I don't have to shoot it and then upload it and Recorded and all of that so I Mean recorded and then uploaded in process. I just want to shoot this real quick before my next coaching session but I posted a video earlier today and a lot of people missed the point a lot of people got it a Lot of people got it and I remember one time reading in the Bible. I believe where I Think they were asking Jesus, you know, what would you do when you I mean, why did you work on the Sabbath? Can you work on the Sabbath and he was like listen if a shepherd loses his sheep on Sunday? You know, is he just going to? Worry about the 99 or was he gonna look for his sheep that he lost? And I believe that's how the story went and it made me think about when you truly are serving and you care You care about when people misunderstand something that you were trying to say or don't really Hear you and I wanted to ask you and that's what you got to think about I did a video earlier and I was talking about The term that we hear so often and the reason why I'm saying this Is because I'm on this side as a relationship coach So let me ask you how many people are writing you about their relationship How many people are writing you their entire relationship story? So what's the answer? five six your friends your family but When I tell you I can pull up my email right now when I go to my email. I have over 10,000 unread emails about people's Relationships and so when I say the word is a buzz word It means that it's buzzing. It means that everybody is using it It's mean that I've never heard the word this much in my life It does not mean that it's not real It does not mean I'm not saying that it's not real. I'm not saying that you haven't experienced it I'm not saying that it doesn't exist. I'm not saying that that person needs to go to a license clinician who is able to diagnose him or her to be diagnosed because I Understand that that person is not going to do that But what I'm saying is that you need to get a firm understanding of the labels that you are using to make sure that you are not boxing yourself in Inside of labels and then taking everything that you have experienced and anything that Zimbles what you have experienced you block it in the future meaning that if this person that you have labeled as This type of person with this disorder if they called you every day Or if they text you every morning first thing in the morning Well when you meet somebody else and they call you every day to talk to you This person can be genuine and trying to build with you But because you have not done the healing work To heal from the past you say oh this reminds me of my ex who was This type of person with this type of disorder So this must be the same thing and that's where you go wrong at with labels but see here's the thing is when you are Hurting and when you have not healed and when you're not actively doing the work You are easily triggered So I did a whole hour long video and some people listen to five words to five minutes and then got a whole dissertation about How I'm not educated enough to talk about it and here's the thing it's like the question that right there is Projecting from your pain you're projecting from your pain. So it's like oh Somebody who has been coaching in relationships and in the trenches for 13 years is not educated enough to understand it But you can get on YouTube and watch some videos and you understand it perfectly What is that? Not only do I understand it I just don't speak on it because I don't want to be lumped in With everybody who is trying to milk it. You see what I'm saying and even when you talk about those things YouTube don't even put ads on those type of videos from my page I don't know what they're doing for other people pages probably is lucrative on somebody else page And that's probably why they keep talking about it, but Understand this not only I had to I had to read one lady From left to right top the bottom had to block three four five others Because this one thing about me when I'm on my page. I'm gonna talk about what the Lord lays on my heart to speak on and you In if no person gets the right to come tell me what I'm qualified to speak on and what I'm not qualified to speak on What I can it can't speak on I'm gonna speak on what I want to speak on and If you have a disagreement if you disagree, that's your right to disagree That's why you got a blog. That's why you got a page. That's why you got a social media But I'm talking to the people who value my voice and who understand that I'm not here to soul Confusion I'm here to bring clarity. I'm not here to trip you up I'm here to help you see the trips and the traps so that you can avoid them And if you can't understand that every single video that I do is with the best intention Then you in the wrong place anyways and what you also have to understand is I'm never Discounting anyone's or discrediting anyone's pain and experiences because not not not only have I lived through it But I've been on the side the other side of causing it So not only was I a student of it Meaning that I live through it, but I came out on the other side to then be a student in studying it And so this is the thing I Tell people all the time One of my homeboys told me when I was young He said to me he said hey, I got holes in my socks. I Said what you mean? He said You can't see my problems You can't see my socks cuz I got on shoes so I can have holes in my socks, which means you can't see my problems Let me help you understand this Life coaches therapists counselors Psychiatrists everybody got problems So just because a person has an education a man made education former education does not mean that person is qualified Because that's a human being qualified by other humans But see some people called by God and that right there is Wisdom see you get knowledge from a book You get experience from life, but you get wisdom from God See I'm called by God not by man So I could have 10 degrees and I'm not gonna tell you about 10 degrees because man's Validation does not mean anything to me what I also want you to understand is that in our world? There are always certain movements and agendas so Think it's not strange that certain terms and terminology Pop up and become the word of the day This year and last year when I'm telling you I've been in the trenches For 13 years and have not heard the word so this what you get to understand you get to hear your Experiences you get to live in your experience and nobody can take your experience away from you But guess what you can't take my experience and my knowledge away from me either So what I'm telling you is I'm not telling you that what you live through was not real I'm not telling you that what you live through was not painful Matter of fact if you live through it, I'm not even talking to you I'm talking to the people hanging in the balance who looking and they trying to wonder Hmm was my ex one of these people with this disorder but don't really know and just looking to YouTube and then now taking and labeling someone as something that really was just a Lost confused human didn't have a disorder So I'm talking about the misuse of the word if you're using it proper Congratulations Here go a cookie. Did you use the word proper? Congratulations? I'm not talking to you. Okay? Move to the left. I'm talking to the people Especially the coaches and the therapists on that who fear mongering who using the word Trying to stoke fear because and playing on your pain. See that's what you don't realize. See that's what I'm not here to do That I'm not here to play on your pain I'm here to help you heal and that's what a lot of people ain't doing. So you got these therapists psychotherapists clinical psychologists life coaches Mentors talking heads Motivational speakers who will fear monger and who will play on your pain because they know you in pain They know you looking for something to get closure from that relationship And if this terminology of this word gonna give it to you. Oh, here you go Here's this term here go a video on it So that I could be paid for the video. Oh matter of fact, I'm doing a webinar on it Here's the webinar. Oh, here's the book. Oh, here's the course. Oh, here's this on this turn that's being overused and misused by 90% of the people using it So this what you got to understand a lady came and she tried to describe she described in what This person is with the disorder NPD Right, and when they describe it The people who they know it all they date. Oh, I know. Oh, I know What a narcissist is and so they go to describing it and I and I had asked a lady I say look at what you just described Look at what you just described So y'all describing all of this this worst terrible horrible person Now what I'm trying to tell you is that that person does exist But that person is not as common as the word is today And I'm telling you from somebody with the data I'm telling you from somebody who receiving tens of thousands of emails and DMs and messages go on my Facebook My Facebook has 1.7 million people on my Facebook If I show you my inbox on my Facebook It is tens of thousands that might be in the hundreds of thousands of Relationship stories and lessons and messages that people are going through and what I'm telling you is That the word when you truly describe a person who is a narcissist that that Person is not as common as the word is and then people say oh It's really common today. It's really rampant today This just been buzzing for about a year or two years So what so is it the is it the steroids in the chicken? So what why why is it all of a sudden we always been human? Okay, so why is all of a sudden so rampant but see you don't think about Agendas and movements you don't think about fear mongering You don't think about playing on pain because guess what when your pain is being played on you're gonna spend more money You're gonna spend more money. You gonna you gonna be on Amazon shopping every day retail therapy When you're playing when your pain is being played upon when you in fear you are more Controlling you can be more controlled when you operating from fear when you operating from pain when you operating from anger When you operating from hurt you can be trained and you can be used you see what I'm saying So what I come to do is bring healing to bring clarity not confusion to bring healing not to play on your pain So what I want you to understand is that if you experience a narcissist It's time to start healing Instead of wallowing in the pain. I heard a man say a long time ago. He said if I knock you down this Wednesday Shame on me But if I come back next Wednesday and you still down shame on you Okay, so now that you have all the knowledge now that you fully understand it instead of going on a Comment warrior campaign Trying to argue and debate with everybody who has a difference of a opinion about how real the disorder is start healing instead of going on on a Comment campaign to cause confusion and to be arguing operating from your pain You operating from your pain the ex that you say you experience your ex lover that you say that you experience that you say Was a narcissist still has control over you today because you in the comments fussing fighting and arguing about how I'm not educated enough to speak on what you went through. Guess what? I'm not even talking to you I'm not even talking because you know where you need to be talking not on my YouTube You need to be in a therapist chair and then you need to be reading books and going to seminars not in the comments Arguing about how real it was. I know how real it was because I saw it first-hand I've been in the trench of 13 years. So what y'all labeling as a narcissist? I done seen it I done seen it But what I'm trying to tell you is that it is not as common as the word is today Go on any relationship video. Do me this favor. Do me this favor. Okay. Do me this favor Go on a relationship video That's talking about a bad relationship or talks relationship click on the comments and read through the comments and Count how many times you see the word narcissist count how many times you see it now you tell me That that person that you are describing with that disorder is as common as you see it in in the comments It's not that Common it is and people say oh, well, it's a lot of people That's walking around undiagnosed. Yes Everybody understand that nobody arguing that we're not saying they have to go to the doctor, but what we saying is this is a disorder That this is not nine out of ten people, but 90 percent of the people Who've gone through a toxic relationship is choosing the term using the term Erroneously is not supposed to be and I don't even know if erroneously go there But it sounds good for those of y'all who say ain't it educated enough Well, well take that vocabulary word. It sounds good right there. So a lot of people miss using the term and hear you Oh, Tony Tony I am just I am appalled with you. You know what? I was your fan Oh my goodness and now you're speaking on this. Hey, listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me I'm not here to pander And to please you I tell everybody that's in the blessed tribe. That's a a member of my channel. I'll say listen You in the blessed tribe today But are you gonna come today where I'm gonna fend you because I speak truth to power Because this who I'm called by you see one point Who who we think up above us. That's who I'm called by I'm not here with the propaganda in the games. I ain't here That's why when you see a word buzzing like the word nurses. Guess what if I was a pander You'll see it in a video every week But you don't never see that word in in my titles. You know why because I'm in the trenches for real 13 years in more than a decade Listen to me. What you're doing today? What you're doing today? Okay, I got to go in four minutes because what I got to do in four minutes a relationship coaching session What I just got done doing a relationship coaching session What was I doing before that for three hours? Recording the audio book for a relationship book Look, I've been in the trenches and you know why it's because I was the worst man out there So I lived it. I lived it. You hear me now. Let me ask you this Can what you Describe as a narcissist become the man that I am today When you go through my videos and you see me talking to you for an hour Giving you unadulterated truth for an hour Bringing healing and clarity to your situation Can a narcissist is a narcissist going to do that? Is narcissists going to do that? Is a narcissist going to do that answer that question? Absolutely not because what do you say about a narcissist that they lack empathy So a person who lack empathy don't care nothing about nobody else But see let me let me tell you something. Let me help you understand and let me bring this all the way home for you Let me help you understand this. This is how I know the word narcissists being misused is be On a large scale Some of y'all you were unfortunate enough To have to experience a person with the disorder for real that was unfortunate and Our hearts goes out to you Now it's time to do the healing Now it's time to stop laying down wallowing in and and and and talking and crying on youtube and in the comments arguing with people And start doing the healing instead of continuing operating from the pain now Let me get to my point because I got to go in two minutes The reason why I know the term narcissists being overused and misused by 90 percent of people Is because a lot of the terms a lot of the things that people saying they x did That's the man that I was That's the man that I was So what i'm trying to tell you is a narcissist ain't gonna do what i'm doing Be on here teaching and bringing healing every single day So I'm here to tell you that not only was I the man that 99 percent of women describing my brother my cousin my uncle My barber my school teacher was that same man And there was some women say oh, well a narcissists They are abusive and they are this and they are that guess what? So was all of us every man So what i'm trying to tell you is that this terminology that you're using Is not as common as it is being used Yes, it exists Yes, it's real But it is not as common as it as it is being used and you got to be careful with labels Because when you get to dealing in labels you get stuck because you're going to be labeling everybody So hey now if you my client that i'm getting ready to coach at 4 p.m. And you on this live forgive me I'm gonna be 30 to 60 seconds late. Hey, this is tonic gas and watch this video back. God bless you. We'll talk soon