 Well hello and welcome to Understand Men Now. I'm your host Jonathan Asley of JonathanAsley.com and I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today. Our topic, The Five Signs He'll Never Lose Interest in You. There's five signs! Okay, really quickly before we get started, if my content resonates with you and you're going, gosh, I'd like to get some male perspective, especially on a relationship you're in right now, check out the link below to schedule a discovery call to see if working with a coach is right for you. And real quickly before I get started, if you're kind of confused on my t-shirt, this is an M from the, it's the Mach Five from a TV show that I used to watch as a kid called Speed Racer and this was one of my birthday gifts to myself, so it was the Mach Five t-shirt. So, okay, our topic of those five signs, you'll never want to lose interest in you. Actually, all kidding aside, this is going to be a really important topic so let me take a deep breath and lean into this because, see, leaning in, not leaning back, leaning to this, is that I think it's important to recognize that while the vast majority of men who, well, here, let me backtrack. So many of you women are seeking that coveted, high-quality guy, that all-lusive, perfect guy that's just going to, you know, that's just so perfect because he's chivalrous, he knows what he's doing, he's got emotional maturity, he's got a game plan. I mean, I get it, you're seeking that 10% out there. And yet the vast majority of men fall into a different category and that is they need to actually develop roots in a relationship to build trust. Now, they're not doing this on a subconscious or on a conscious level, they're doing this on a subconscious level because the reality is these days, most of the time, we're meeting total strangers in relationship. Bump, bump, bump, we're meeting strangers and what I mean is it takes time to build familiarity, it takes time to build trust and those are the roots for a successful, healthy, happy relationship. So today, I want to talk about what these roots are and why once you've developed these roots and it's not your responsibility to develop these roots, but it's your responsibility, you ladies, to be aware of these roots because you can actually guide the relationship down this path of getting to fully committed because that's ultimately goes. So yes, those coveted high quality guys that know what they want, yes, that's great, but yet the vast majority of men fit into this other category and that's what we're going to talk about today for those men. Okay, so what are the five signs that he'll never lose interest? Well, sign number one is that you both are speaking each other's love language. In other words, there's an emotional connection between the two of you and if you're not familiar with the book, five love languages by Gary Chapman, the five love languages by Gary Chapman, it's important to recognize that emotional connection is so important to be in relationship, meaning, do you speak each other's love language to one another? Do you speak each other's love language? And the vast majority of people are kind of a little mismatched in their love language. So if you're not familiar with the five love languages, it's words of adoration for I'm a Leo, it's word of adoration. It's actually words of affirmation. Sorry, I can't help myself. It's the Leo and me physical touch, quality time, access service and gifts. So when you're actually speaking each other's love languages, you're feeling connected to one another. So my invitation is that when you're in the beginning stages of dating is to take, there's a test online you can take to see what his love language is and what your love language is to see if you're on the same page because if you're not, it's going to be difficult to develop those roots to the point where he'll never want to leave you. Okay. So that's number one. Number two, economic agreement, economic agreement. Now this is so important because if 50% of divorces cite money as the primary reason why the relationship ended, then if two people aren't on the same page when it comes to how the economics of a relationship works, it's going to be disastrous. And here's the fantasy or the fallacy because traditionally when men were the predominant breadwinners in the workforce, they were the provider protectors. But now since women actually equal the same amount of men out in the workforce, and because of divorce for so many people, the economics of relationships are on edge with one another. And when I mean about divorce, I mean alimony, child support, that sort of thing, whether you're a man or woman, you can be on edge around money. This is why if you're not familiar with the book Eight Dates by Dr. John Gottman, Eight Dates on Dr. John Gottman, there is a chapter devoted to money in relationship. The fact that, as I said before, 50% of divorces cite money as the problem. It's rather naive to think that money isn't an important factor in relationship. In other words, the utilization of resources in relationship. Now, I know you ladies love the idea that men pay for dates and everything. I mean, I know that would be appealing to me too. Why wouldn't it be someone else paying for everything? But ultimately, the synergy around money has to be discussed because if it's not, it can actually create resentment in the relationship and it can create animosity. And quite frankly, if it's not discussed, it could be end up being the problematic part of your relationship, just like so many divorces result from money issues. So it's important to be on the same page around money. So that was number two, economic agreement. Number three, social activities, hobbies and mutual interests. Social activities, hobbies and mutual interests. Here's the thing. Ultimately, if you talk to anyone who's been happily married for a long time, they almost all say the same thing. I married my best friend. I married my best friend. Well, what's it take to become friends? It's doing things together. I did a video once about Harry Met Sally, one of the reasons why they fell in love with each other because they were constantly doing things together. They were going to movies, they were going to the park, they were going to museums, they were going to parties. Now, you might be saying, well, Jonathan, we're in the midst of a pandemic. How do you do those things? Great question. Social activities, hobbies, mutual interests. Both people have to become creative at this because if you're not spending belly to belly time together, chest to chest time together, face to face time together, it's going to be hard to develop that route that builds trust in the relationship and that trust is what will keep us interested for the rest of our lives when we build strong trust with one another. So the number three with social activities, hobbies and mutual interest. Number four is spending time with family and friends. Spending time with family and friends. You know, if you think about our family and friends, they are, they are our strongest root in our lives. They are our strongest root in our lives. And when we connect it with someone's family and their friends, we are rooted with them as well. It makes it very difficult to break up a relationship when couples are actually spending time with other couples and other friends and certainly within family. And I know ladies, you're frustrated because a lot of men don't introduce you to their family and friends. And quite frankly, there are plenty of men that do it. They make it easy. Chances are, if they're not introducing you to family and friends, there's a deeper issue that needs to be discussed. In fact, let me put a pause here for a second. If you've introduced the book, The Five Love Languages, he's not interested in partaking in it. If you've interested, if you introduced the book, Eight Dates, and he doesn't want to partake into it, then you have to really ask yourself how committed is this person to wanting to build a relationship with me or anyone else? And ladies, you always know I say this on almost every video. If you want to allow a penis into a vagina, I'm sorry, I'm going to be that blunt. If you're going to have regular sex together, then you have every right to say, hey, these are things important to me. So I know that we're building a relationship together. And so, doing social activities together, introducing family and friends are an absolute sign that a man is interested in wanting to go the distance with someone. And if they're avoiding of it, then there's probably a deeper issue involved. There's a deeper issue involved. And I can tell you if you've heard me talk about where's the book? Getting the Love You Want by Harvelle Hendricks, Getting the Love You Want by Harvelle Hendricks and Helen Hunt. Oftentimes, men and women choose relationships that are very similar to the dysfunction that they had in childhood, and they're just reliving dysfunction in the relationship they're in currently. In fact, I would venture to say most of the women watching this video who are in frustrating relationships with men, chances are that man has a childhood wound or trauma that hasn't been healed, and it's going to make your relationship much more problematic to actually go the distance. This is one of the reasons why, ladies, I'm such a big advocate for you to love on yourselves. To love on yourselves. You know I talk about my book, What the Heck Is Self Love Anyway? What the Heck Is Self Love Anyway? This is so important to empower yourself. And what I mean to say is don't give your power to a man. Don't give your happiness to him. In other words, so many women and men have been conditioned that I need you to love me for me to feel good about myself. It's one of the reasons why, sadly, I'm going to say one of the interesting things I've been getting across my desk lately is Jonathan. I need my guy to call me in the morning and the evening. And if he doesn't call me in the morning or evening, I don't feel safe in the relationship. And I'm like, why does him calling you have to make you feel safe in the relationship? In other words, is there some sort of validation you're needing? And I'm not suggesting a couple shouldn't talk in the morning or night, whatever. But if it's coming from a needy place, then you have to look within. Because you don't need them to validate you to feel good about yourself. And you don't need them to constantly be validating the relationship. Now, I can sense why that can be frustrating because most of you are driving in relationships that aren't going anywhere. They're going it's going backward. It's going sideways. It's not going in a forward momentum direction. Hence why I keep talking about the book eight dates over and over again because this book is designed to get your relationship on path to a destination. That destination is either living together or getting married. Now let me pause for a second. This is the world according to Jonathan. I'm a big proponent. Don't invest time in anyone who doesn't either want to get live together or get married in the near future. What I mean to say is it should take no more than one year to kind of be talking about moving in together and not more than two years to actually considering marriage with one another. And quite frankly for those at midlife, that should happen between six to nine months, at least having a sense whether or not you want to do this. Otherwise, you might be in a relationship that's called stable ambiguity, stable ambiguity, meaning both people are doing the bare minimum to be in this relationship or let me backtrack one person is doing the bare minimum to be in this relationship because they would rather have a relationship than be by themselves. And that's where a vast majority of relationships are today. All right, you're probably wondering what that fifth sign that he'll never lose interest in you, but I'm going to share that with you. But if so far this content resonated with you, I really want to encourage you. If you're ready to go to the next level, you're ready to take your your love life to the next level, then check out the link below for a free discovery call with me. And again, it's just to see if you want to work with a dating coach. Okay, I'm not here to solve all your problems. Click the link to schedule a call with me if you're genuinely interested in taking your love life to the next level. All right, the fifth, the fifth sign. Intimacy. Intimacy. Now that I know I'm not talking about just sexual intimacy. I'm talking about emotional intimacy. I'm talking about intimacy stands for into me you see. Into me you see. In other words, it's being able to physically be intimate with someone, but also to be emotionally intimate with someone. And that requires vulnerability. That requires being able to express a fear knowing that your partner isn't going to lose respect for you. And sadly, so many men have been conditioned so conditioned to stuff their feelings. Because there hasn't been a relationship in their life where they felt safe to actually be vulnerable. In fact, I know ladies go through the same issue as well. In fact, one of the challenges is the fear of being vulnerable. And it's not about the fear of being vulnerable, it's the fear of not speaking your truth. That's my, because here's the thing, I want to encourage everyone to be at a space in their life where they can be vulnerable. In other words, you're not afraid to share your feelings with another human being. And that includes setting boundaries as well. And when you've actually developed this root of intimacy in a relationship where there's such trust between, built between the two of you, a man is never going to want to leave. He's going to want to continually be in relationship with you just like you're going to want to continually be in relationship with him. Everything I'm talking about is a two-lane street. It goes both ways. Get it? And sadly, I see this with so many women. You're putting your relationship destiny in the hands of a man. And I'm here to say, you take your relationship destiny in your life, in your hands. Read these books that I keep talking about. These are fantastic books to help you along the way. I'll start sharing new books in the future, but for now I'm going to stick with these core ones. Of course, my own as well. By the way, did you notice the book matches the coloring here? I just noticed that. All right. I think you get the gist of where I'm going. You probably have something to say regarding this video. I want to hear your thoughts. I want to hear your comments. And if you have questions, I want you to know, I do my best to read all the questions. I try to respond to some of them, but I do my best to read every single one. So if you have a question, please post it below. And if you have a question and you can't afford coaching, check out my VIP group, Midlife Love Mastery. It's a VIP group and it's only 20 bucks a month to be a part of it. All right. I'm going to wrap up today's video as I always do. First off, giving myself a big gigantic Jonathan Bear hug of self love. I'm going to give you a hug of love. I'm going to ask you to turn to someone and give them a hug of love because we can all use hugs because hugs are a great source of love. Thanks so much and wishing you a super duper wonderful day. Bye bye now.