 Godzilla X Kong has been out for about a week now. I did a review on it. You're free to check that out on the channel Adam Does Movies and subscribe if you haven't. But today I thought I would do a spoiler video on the thing. So let's get to it. As always with these spoiler videos, don't look for any in-depth brilliant discussion or dissection about the thing. I talk about these films like a regular movie goer, like a fan of films, but not necessarily an expert on anything. I mean, I couldn't tell you all the different monsters in the monsters universe. I barely remember the names of these people because they're pretty much disposable and forgettable. There's Def Girl, there's the main chick, there's Trapper, I think his name is. Since I watched this last week, this is not going to be chronological. I can't even imagine I'll remember most of it because these films become so obsolete in my brain after about a week. That's the shelf life. If you asked me anything about Godzilla vs Kong, I'd have a hard time recalling anything outside of a couple shots. I think they fight on an aircraft carrier that can for some reason hold their weight. I believe Def Girl is a lot younger and she's in the rain and she holds up a hand like it's Kongo and she's like ugly gorilla, ugly monkeys or something. I think some of the characters carried over to this one. I don't know if Trapper was in the first movie. He's certainly mentioned in this one a lot. It's Trapper. Hey guys, it's Trapper. I'm Trapper. He's got his Hawaiian shirt and shades. I'm going to be that guy. I'm the wild card of the picture. I think the black dude was in the last one too. Don't recall his name. I do have IMDB up. Bernie Hayes, it says. There's Bernie Hayes. Gia, that's the Def Girl. Eileen Andrews, of course. Eileen, everybody's favorite character from Godzilla V, Kong. By the way, what the fuck does Godzilla X, Kong even mean? Is that a fighting thing too? Godzilla X, that means versus. Instead of the V, we switch to X. It's hilarious. It's honestly hilarious. We open this film with Kong in Hollow Earth, his new playground. This is inside of regular Earth where Godzilla is just chilling out. Godzilla is just up there hanging out. It's established that these two cannot be by each other because they're both alpha dominant. That can't stand. They'll fight to kill each other for the dominance over the domain that is Earth. So they put Kong underneath and everything's kosher. But he's having a hard time adjusting to the fact that he's by himself. Certainly no other giant apes in the vicinity. And he's getting chased by a bunch of asshole dog things that he's going to trap and kill like Rambo. Seriously, Kong is basically John Rambo in this film. He sets up booby traps. He's got like things that fly down and impale creatures. He's digging pitfalls. The guy knows what he's doing. He knows his shit. And Kong looks a lot older. He looks grizzled. Godzilla still has a pretty nice coat on him. But Kong is aged up. He's got gray hair. He looks like Kratos from the new God of War games. I'm liking the look. He's still got his battle axe. He's battle hungry. But he doesn't have much to do and he's depressed. And the humans know this because they're monitoring his vitals at the Monarch station. I had a big problem with Godzilla v Kong because the tone of that film wildly changed from the previous entries in the Monsterverse. It went from semi plausible and serious in Kong to just downright loony tunes in Godzilla v Kong. That shift was so completely radical and so was the technology. They went from driving jeeps and having regular surveillance equipment to suddenly having like futuristic flying machines that could tunnel through earth and in like speed through time and space. It was just nuts. And having that knowledge now going into Godzilla x Kong. It's an easier pill to swallow. I now know that these movies are not serious in the slightest. They're dumb as shit. And that's alright. I had a lot of fun with this film. I said that much in the review. I actually had a really good time. I had a dumb dopey smile on my face throughout the thing. I'm excited to watch it again with my family when it comes home to stream. Okay. Kong's depressed. Godzilla meanwhile is chilling up top literally sleeping through most of this movie. Once in a while he wakes up stretches out the scales and kills another giant monster because they've been kind of unearthed or disturbed because of hollow earth and they're popping up once in a while. Godzilla kills them. He also kills thousands, tens of thousands of people every time he just gets up and walks and lumbers around. It's like 20,000 people dead and monarchs like ehhh. Just let him cook. Let Godzilla cook. And then the chef goes back to sleep. Honestly, I think I saw Godzilla as like eight minutes of screen time in this film. He's really underutilized and it's a bit disingenuous to call this Godzilla x Kong. Kong should have the titular spot. It should be Kong x Godzilla in small or Kong featuring Godzilla because this is very much a King Kong movie. And it's really more a Planet of the Apes movie overall and I dig the Planet of the Apes film so this was right up my alley McBeal. He is on hollow earth and he runs into a bunch of bad eggs. These bad gorillas come out of nowhere. He starts fighting them. It gets messy and eventually just chucks one to its death which was awesome. He's like, yeah, fuck you. I tried to be nice. You're gonna be a douche. You're dead. Baby Kong comes along. This little baby ape. Cute as a button. I'm sure they're gonna sell merchandise off of it. You have to. God have that synergy. It's like, I hate you, bro. I don't trust apes because there's like a slave camp, internment camp down even further into hollow earth. Hollower earth or maybe hollow back earth. We could call it like a Gwen Stefani reference. You ain't no hollow back earth. Few times I've been around that track but this is where it goes full blown despicable me. Kong gets led to hollow back earth. That's what I'm calling it now. And there's this evil gorilla there. He's introduced to the Scar King who straight up looks like a cartoon villain from one of the Minions movies. He has a bone sash over him. Really elongated weird body physique. He's hopping around like a dipshit. Really not threatening at all, but it's a fun character regardless. I was hoping for more of a Coba type of character from Planet of the Apes. I believe it was the second one. Rise or, no, Dawn. Dawn of the Planet. Those titles are so stupid. It's Dawn of the Planet of the Apes. Anyway, Scar King has himself quite the project going on. They're surrounded by magma and he's got, he's got the apes just, he's like Dr. Evil. He's got the apes arbitrarily moving rocks around. I have no idea what the hell they're doing down there. He's just got a whole crew of guys basically going back and forth doing this back breaking work picking up rocks. What's the end game here? It just doesn't make any sense. But maybe rocks are their currency and he's selling them on the black hollow earth moa. And he's selling, and he's selling these rocks on the hollow back market. I don't, I don't really know what's happening in this film. It doesn't matter. Bottom line is he's bad. Kong's here. He's going to disrupt the process and things seem to be going all right. Kong's kind of kicking his ass even though Scar King has this cool bone whip that has this talon at the end, this blue light thing. But we find out that it's actually controlling another Godzilla creature who's been lying dormant in the rock. The internet tells me its name is Shimu or Shimu. Listen, this is not my bread and butter. I don't know dick about the monster verse. Shimu is what I'm going with. It's basically an ice version of Godzilla that walks on all fours like a little puppy dog thing. And some of his head doesn't look like it's fully formed. It's not, something's wrong. Something's a bit off with Shimu. Okay, maybe he took the helmet off a little too early at birth and it didn't form right on the skull. I don't know what's going on, but it's a pretty cool creature. Kind of a neat creation. He shoots ice and he's going to shoot ice at Kong who's going to block it, but it's going to go right through that hand up the arm giving him frostbite which is killing him. Yeah, our boy Kong has had a bad day already because earlier that morning he was back up on earth getting the tooth fixed. One of his teeth had become infected. I don't know why old age, who knows what's happening with him and his body, but he goes back up to shore. Monarch's there like, what in the hell is this guy doing? And then an in comes trapper. Trapper's got a stupid Hawaiian shirt and he's like, ah, we're going to fix it too. That's no problem. I shit you not. The tooth fixing scene is about 45 seconds long. He gets on the side of the plane, drops down via large comical hook, hooks it in, points up, he zips back up like he's in around a fortnight and they rip that sucker off. He puts the new one in with some device. The whole thing's done lickety split. I could not believe it. A scene like that in any normal movie, any realistic film would have been a 45 minute sequence. How are we going to get this tooth out? How are we going to possibly come up with the technology to remove a giant ape tooth and replace it with some silicone thing? No, it's all ready. They already did it. They had it done in like a cup of coffee. It's just insane. This whole movie is like that. Later on, Trapper has to leave to get the Calvary. He's like, oh, I'll be right back. I have a crazy idea. He runs away. Like 10 minutes later, he's back with a platoon of fighter jets. What? Who is Trapper? Is Trapper real? Yeah, NPC. You can just warp away and come back later. It's bananas, which makes sense because it's an ape movie, so there should be bananas. What else? I'm all over the place. Again, it's really hard to remember heads or tails of this thing, especially with so many heads and so many Kaiju tails going on. Godzilla, when he finds out, when he catches wind, that Kong is back up on shore. His spider sense tingles. The pheromones are all wild. And so he makes a beeline to Kong. Even though Kong goes back to Hollow Earth, it's enough to trigger Godzilla. But it turns out that's not what triggered Godzilla at all. It was actually a call down in Hollow Earth from a tribe of people. They set out a beacon, an SOS saying, help us. Help us, Godzilla. You're our only hope. So Godzilla Juan Kenobi gets the distress call and he needs to power the fuck up. Because he is strong, of course, of course, but he's not strong enough, which means he's got to suck up the energy from a power plant. He's got to take out another Kaiju and absorb its power, and that makes him turn into Barbie Godzilla. He gets pink. He gets even more badass. And then he's going to go fight in the final battle with Kong. That's going to be the only time he really contributes to the actual storyline. The B plot going on with the humans is that Jia or Jaya, something like that, the deaf girl, she's actually getting that same distress signal from those tribes because they are long lost ancestors or something of hers. The part of the same tribe that lives in Hollow Earth. She's getting that message from them. And it's kind of like Sam Whitwicky and I think Transformers 2, whatever that dumb movie was called, New Moon Rises or Dark Side of the Moon, or Revenge of the Fall. That might have been Revenge of the Fall and it doesn't matter. Sam Whitwicky's getting all those like hieroglyphics and messages. He's writing them all down. That's what she's doing except for she's just scribbling trees or triangles. And they know that she's not crazy. They know that something's reaching out to her and she can communicate with Kong. So it's very likely she's picking up some other form of that language. And it turns out that's exactly what's happening. So she and her adopted mom Eileen, everyone's favorite character Eileen, they're going to head to Monarch and then go to Hollow Earth with a crack squad of people which include an out of shape Monarch soldier, wild card trapper, and token black guy Bernie who's a conspiracy theorist who really doesn't have a lot to offer but he's going with too because we got to fill out the roster somehow. That's the crew. That multi-billion dollar Monarch is entrusting with the well-being of Hollow Earth and you know, not causing the end of Earth as we know it. They're going to go in. There's a scene that comes up here that really annoyed the shit out of me. The crew gets into the ship. They take off down the ocean portal thing and they kick on a song. I forgot what the song is right now. It's a badass song, an oldie but a goodie. And right when it gets to the refrain, they cut the freaking thing. Like how do you not know the assignment? That's when this movie was really picking up speed and getting really fun and they cut the music. Now it's a bit of a foreshadow because the song does come back in its glory. They get the refrain out there later but I wanted it now damn it. It was stupid that they did it like this. Moving past it, once they get to Hollow Earth there's really a lot of investigatory stuff that takes place with the crew. The main Monarch guy, the one Monarch soldier dies almost instantaneously by a plant tree, a pretty cheesy scene. It felt really kind of out of place because it's the only thing that kills anyone or is even a threat in this film. Unlike in the original Kong skull island where there's a ton of weird creatures and stuff just always threatening the humans, Hollow Earth really only had the tree monster that one time and nothing else ever again. You know what, now that I say that I don't think Trapper who I mentioned earlier brought back a platoon of people, he actually got those flying buzzard bird things. That's what he got. Either way it was just hilarious that he was able to do this so fast, get all the way back to his plane, find the creatures flying and then take them with him. This whole movie's nonsense. It's ludicrous and I had a great time with that. Eventually they will find this tribe and they are essentially the characters from Lost Season 4 or 5. They just have a donkey wheel thing that they turn and it moves their entire organization over to a different location. Very, very out there. But I thought this stuff looked pretty cool. CGI palaces. We find out that the thing she was scribbling were those three triangles. It's essentially their homes. And that's what they're going to find Kong. He just got his ass kicked by the Skar King who has a glorified laser pointer and that's what Ice Dragon follows. And so yeah, Kong shows up. He just got the worst hand job ever and now he's going to need a second one from the heroes. Trapper conveniently mentions that Monarch has been working on essentially an Iron Man suit for Kong but they didn't get very far. They did get far enough though with the hand. It's so ridiculous. There's no foreshadow for this even. They just have this. So Trapper's like, give me 5 minutes and I'll go get the hand. He's like beep boop beep beep beep and then the hand flies to them and it lands perfectly on Kong's hand. Steams coming out and Kong goes Everybody's favorite character Eileen goes, I think he likes it. Because Kong is an intelligent creature, he knows he has no shot at 2B1ing this crew. He needs to even out the odds. So he once again has to go back to the surface to get his boy Godzilla. Thankfully there's portals just up in the sky. Portals everywhere. He just picks one pops up somewhere in Egypt I think and that just so happens to be where Godzilla is or at least he was close by because it took about 10 seconds for him to show up. This movie's awesome. They have a fight and I think Kong would have won. He bodied him pretty heavily. He was beating the shit out of him but he's like nope I gotta drag your ass down to hollow earth and we gotta figure this out and so drag he does. They have a 2V2 showdown. Gravity is going all herky jerky so they're flying around in the air punching each other. Gamma radiation. But it wouldn't be a true Godzilla Kong movie if we didn't have some earthly destruction. So they all power shoot back up through one of those portals and we're on earth again for the third time for Kong. Scar's eating well. He's got that bone chain. He's ripping through buildings smashing stuff and this is again where we finally get to see some scale. Because a lot of this movie takes place at hollow earth with Kong and other apes you don't really get a sense of his size. That's where it really kind of feels like a plan to the apes movie. Once they're back on earth and they're standing next to skyscrapers then you go oh shit Scar is actually huge. He's a big guy but when you just see him the whole time in his earthly realm he doesn't look like much. He just looks like an ape with some cool armor chain thing. But yeah back on earth now they're causing tons of destruction. It's another awesome fight sequence and eventually of course Godzilla and Kong win the day. They pump fists, they brohog and they go their separate ways to my knowledge. I think Godzilla just goes and lays back down in the Colosseum in Rome. He just chills out there. That's his nesting ground and I think Kong goes back home. I really don't know. There is a touchy and little scene with a deaf girl because you know the ongoing plot is not only is she hearing from her own tribe but also that might be where she belongs and that makes fan favorite Eileen very sad scientist. Eileen's like hey I understand if you need to leave me and be with your own people and she turns to her new mom and says hey mom you are my people. I belong where you go I go. I love you and it was a nice little moment. It was very touching. The whole fight really turned a corner when they destroyed that crystal laser pointer and Shimo was no longer controlled by the evil ape. It's able to have a mind of its own again and go oh man where am I? What's happening? Oh this guy's the asshole and then he teamed up and then it was a 3v1. Star King had no shot. He was taken down. Shimo went back to Hollow Earth with Kong. Bingo bingo bongo penis. As of editing the video this morning I realized they made a glaring omission. The only real spoiler to talk about in Godzilla X Kong is the one that I didn't talk about and that's that Mothra returns gloriously resurrected from the dead. I apologize for the crude nature of this interruption but I had to put it out there quickly. Essentially what happens is our favorite scientist Ilana, Elena, Isabella whatever it is I already forgot. She and Deaf Girl realize that they're part of a thing with the tribe. What's the word I'm looking for? A prophecy. I got there eventually. She's part of a prophecy which says in crude images and a little bit of hieroglyphics that this girl is going to be the one that brings back Mothra somehow by just being present touching the side of this protective shield barrier thing and then Mothra's reborn Phoenix rising again from the ashes. What's so funny is during this scientist lady is looking at the pictures and giving us this perfect history lesson of everything that took place based on the most like crude images that she finds. I thought it was hilarious and it goes on for quite a while. She's like and then this happened and then they locked away this and then and then She-Ra or She-Ma the the Ice Dragon comes back. Also by the way that Ice Dragon is female I also believe. I screwed up on that and said he a couple times. I apologize to the Godzilla community. Well what a disaster this has been. Okay I just wanted to point that out. Mothra returns. It flies around for a while. It's the one that connects Godzilla and Kong together. Makes them realize hey they're friends in this situation. They need to work as friends. Come together as one and take out this other threat and then that's what happens. I don't actually know what happens to Mothra at the end. If it just it cooks for a while then goes back into the kitchen later. I'm not sure. I think it's fine. I think it's fine. That's Godzilla X Kong. The new empire. The second movie this month to have empire in the title. The first being Ghostbusters Frozen Empire. Neither of them really contain an empire. If we're really gonna split hairs about it. But this movie also didn't feature a lot of Godzilla. When he was on though he was pretty awesome. And the movie itself pretty fun and stupid. Let me know if you saw what your thoughts are if I really just did a bang of job reenacting and going through this movie. It's always a shit show when I try to do these spoiler videos and I won't have it any other way. Like the video please subscribe if you're new here. I post constantly reviews, roasts, rants, live streams. It's a good time. It's 24 seven movies. I also have a brand new second channel Adam does rants. I just fired up. I have one or two videos there as of recording this. Hopefully you join me. I'm just ranting about nonsense. Nothing political or religious. It's all very surface level, fun observational humor. Like not getting a straw in your bag at the drive-through or how disgusting public bathrooms can be. Just kind of things we can all agree with and have fun with. Hopefully I see you there as well. Take care.