 The simple reason a relationship with a narcissist won't work. You probably already know why the relationship won't work. When things weren't going right with a narcissist, you may have remained positive and hopeful. You may have tried to force things, but no matter what you do, it is destined to fail. Because the narcissist is only in it for themselves. They're seeking attention and admiration for themselves. While you are in it to give something to the narcissist, to give them a better life, to make them happy. So you're giving them all of your love while you're getting nothing back in return. There's no reciprocation, and that is why it can't work. Because the narcissist is only in it for their own wants, needs and desires. They're not in it for you, which is why it was already pre-ordained right from the start. There was no other way that this could go, because they have a warped perception of how your relationship is supposed to be. They think that you're meant to give them all of your love, while they seek love for themselves. Which means that they get all of the love, and you get nothing, which leaves you in a state of confusion. Because sometimes they may say that they love you, but their actions never match their words. Because their idea of love is when you do something for them. That's what makes them think they love you. Their love for you revolves around them getting their needs met. But for a normal person, love is about other people. It's about caring for other people. It's about showing respect for other people. And if you really love them, you will be willing to make sacrifices and compromises for them. Because rather than just consuming another person's love, you're also giving love out. And that's what you may be doing for the narcissist. But they're not doing that for you, because they get into relationships for attention and admiration. They don't recognize you as a separate person with your own needs. They don't understand that it should be given take. You are experiencing the relationship differently than they are. Because they are incapable of having a relationship. They are incapable of connecting with you. They only see themselves. They are self-absorbed and they lack empathy. Which is why when you ask them for something that is not in alignment with what they want or need. It doesn't make any sense to them. When you feel something differently than what they feel, it's difficult for them to understand. Because you're supposed to feel what they feel. You're supposed to want and need what they want and need. Normal people can recognize you. As a separate person with your own wants and needs. They can recognize that you may need something different than what they need. And they can make the necessary adjustments to attend to that. But when you have separate wants and needs to the narcissist, it doesn't make any sense to them. You have to want and need what they want and need. You have to feel what they feel. And only then will it work. By you denying yourself what you really want, need and feel. You cannot be yourself around the narcissist. You cannot be who you really are. You cannot want what you really want. You cannot need what you really need. You cannot feel what you really feel. You can only be an extension of them. Which is an impossible task to achieve over a long period of time. Eventually you're going to break. It's going to be too much for you to bear. And that's when the narcissist is going to start devaluing you and setting you up for the discard. Because they don't see anything wrong with what they're doing. They believe they're perfect. They believe they're always right. And they're only interested in themselves and their own activities. But they don't see anything wrong with that. Because they believe they're always right. And their minds they're perfect. Which is why when the relationship ends, they will play the victim. They will blame you when things go wrong. They will start a smear campaign against you. Because in their minds they are perfect. They're always right. So you must be at fault. And they never change. Because they don't think there's anything wrong with them. But it's a mental illness. They have an inflated ego. They have an inflated sense of their own self-esteem and self-importance. But they also have a deep need for attention and admiration. They think they're better than other people. And they have no concern for other people's feelings. Underneath their arrogance. They are actually very vulnerable to criticism. Because they don't really care about making things better for you. They don't have your best interest in mind. They think the world should revolve around them. They're self-centered. They're only focused on themselves. To them you don't have needs. Which is why you will be left feeling not valued or appreciated highly enough. Because everything has to be about them. The narcissist doesn't care about you. So when things go wrong for you, don't expect the narcissist to be there. The narcissist doesn't value you. And that is why the relationship won't work. Because your feelings and opinions do not matter to the narcissist. It doesn't mean anything to them. Because their feelings and opinions are always right. They're never going to follow your lead. Because they think they're the best. And sometimes they don't even see that they're invalidating you. Because they lack empathy. And they like to play the victim. They will never take responsibility for their actions. They will never admit their faults or mistakes. If something goes wrong, they will blame you. Because they don't want to accept that they have flaws or imperfections. They want to have a good image. So they have to think that they're always right. They see everything as a game. And they must win. Thank you for watching. I hope this video resonated with you. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. If you would like to donate, my PayPal link is in the video description. Coaching inquiries. You can email me at coaching at NARCS5.org. Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.