 I'm Latisha Sharpe and I'm your host today as we discuss perfection. Yeah, well, let's just get right into this. It's such a tricky subject. I mean, we're all kind of afraid of messing up, aren't we? Even doing this show, I could be afraid of messing up and I could totally stumble over all of my thoughts and words and feelings that I want to express to everyone. I have to remember that really ultimately there is no such thing as perfection. Some of the ways that we use perfection and the word perfect, just some that come to mind, the perfect parent, the perfect neighborhood, a perfect match or maybe a perfect mate, perfect timing. That's the big one. Everyone wants to have perfect timing, right? What about the perfect storm or perfection at its finest like a diamond? Even diamonds have occlusions. And those are beautiful. That's what makes it the most special and unique. That's yours. So that's what I want to delve into over this time with all of you, is how we can embrace the imperfections and truly be perfectly imperfect. Because that's maybe if you're going to use the word perfect, that might be the best way to use it. And I've used that for years. I'm perfectly imperfect. And now I'm kind of, well, am I really perfectly imperfect? Because I am constantly that little inner critic even right now is in my head going, oh, yeah, but maybe you didn't say that right. Or maybe you said too many alms or maybe you didn't get this point across properly or to the point where people could really understand it. And really all that does is create all kinds of issues inside of us. And it really translates to our outer selves as well. And in our planet as a whole even. So I'd like to talk about what I feel when I think about the word perfect or when I think about what that's meant to me over my lifetime. And I would say that I always thought that perfect meant that that's good or that's the right way of being. And then as I began growing more and more in this journey, I realized that there really is no right or wrong. There really is no good or bad. And so as I began finding my way away from those words and away from those concepts that it's either acceptable or unacceptable. Well, actually, you know, I think unacceptable and acceptable. Those are fair. Those feel true. Those feel like true words. That's a great description of the way things are because that describes how what you're available for in your life, how you're available to experience these things that come up for you in life. And that really leads to talking about our speech and our words, our language. How do we express things in our life? And I'd like to invite you to find a different word for perfect in your lives over the next week, maybe the next year, maybe the rest of your life, but start with one day and see if you find yourself using that word perfect. And see if maybe you can find a word that can represent your feeling and what you really want to say a little more specifically, a little more truthfully, like timing, perfect timing. I mean, there's all kinds of ways. It could be God's timing. It could be Earth timing. I know different parts of this planet and how we all contribute to this planet have different rhythms and different ways of being in timing. And really maybe you could, you know, maybe it's city timing. That definitely describes, you know, or country timing. So those are more descriptive and they can both be perfect, right? So city timing could be perfect in the way that you're thinking of it. Country timing could be perfect in the way that you're thinking of describing that. So I encourage you to maybe feel into those ways of describing your idea of what perfection is in your life. And I guess, you know, that brings me to where does that come from in me? And where, so I thought about this and I was thinking, okay, so why do I want to be perfect, right? So where does that come from? For me, it's like, okay, is it partially wanting to be in control? Is it wanting to be liked and like other people? Is it wanting to, I guess, it leads to comparison. Be comparing myself to the way other things are and thinking maybe those things are more right than what I'm doing. Or, and that's damaging, by the way, if you've ever watched any of my shows, you know, that's one of my big damaging actions, just comparison for myself. And what else, like looking outside of myself really for what my experience is supposed to be. So I ask you that question. What, where does your idea of perfection come from in your life? And maybe take a little look-see into your experiences of life and see where you are having an idea that that's what you're working to accomplish. I know, like, when I think of being the perfect parent or whatever, I can't tell you how many birthday parties and how many recitals and how many things that we went to and performances where I was just, I wanted everything to be perfect, you know, all the way down to like, I'm wanting her to have my daughter to have the perfect experience, right? And really, all that did was, first of all, I missed out on some seriously special sacred moments because I was worried about this idea of perfection. When really the perfection was just watching her experience it, watching her navigate her way through all of these things. So see, and how does that come to be? So this, I feel, is happening because it's a great example of how that was a perfect break, you know, it was a perfect break. She has no judgment, my dog, who was just barking, of whether this is the right moment or the wrong moment to be barking. And it just goes to show she's just being her. And so I get to choose, okay, how am I going to respond to that? Is that going to be exactly where it's supposed to be in the timing of this show? And I'm going to say, yes, it's exactly where it's supposed to be. Don't edit that. Stop editing your life to be able to fit into this idea of the way things are supposed to be, of the way others have outlined your life or our experiential or experience of life to be. So, yes, that was really perfect. I didn't plan that either. So I want to get into some of the ways and that having this idea of perfection can really be damaging in our lives. And as per this show and how we go about things, we talk about our body, our mind, our spirit and our emotions. And it's this idea of perfection can be damaging in all of these areas of our life. So we're going to talk about how some of that's created. And then we're going to be able to talk about some of the ways that maybe we could remedy those or find our way into a more expansive version of our life experience, then trying to fit into perfection. So first let's talk about physical bodies. There's one that I'm classic for doing, which is overdoing it. I might have been coined the overdo it girl, pretty much my entire life because I'm always just a little extra trying to go the extra mile trying to be better do do better, all of those things and some ways that that's damaged me is injury. So try to best my time. Maybe I okay now I have a goal of doing cohe lepe lepe two weeks in a row, but I didn't listen and I just overdid it. That's one way to create damage. Another way is in sports right I mean who's ever heard the phrase or saying perfect game that was a perfect game. There's no perfect game ever. There's always a mistake somewhere in a game. That's how maybe somebody could have a perfect game but there was maybe the opponents didn't have a perfect game because that's how you won so and that seems to create a lot of competition right and not competition in the good way and also unrealistic expectations like what are we telling our kids when we say oh it's a perfect game. And they're constantly striving to have this perfect game when it's not accessible. That's not even a possibility in this life experience. So, yeah, that that's a that's a big one I feel like making these expectations, putting these expectations on ourself of trying to have these perfect experiences and life experiences another one another big one that's super prevalent in our, our kids and even adults. It just seems to be a little more prevalent now after COVID because I think people had only social media really for a while to be able to have their social interactions is eating disorders. I'm trying to find that perfect body and we all know the damage that can be created from that it's just it's devastating and it can affect you for your entire life. When you realize that you are exactly the way you were made. And once you start loving those parts of yourself whether they're exactly the way you want them to be or not and why. Why are they not the way you want them to be I mean let's get into that too right. Are they not the way you want them to be because of somebody else's idea of what looks good. I mean that that's a whole nother can of worms will go there. Another day with an expert to guest. How about our minds. Let's move on to our minds body minds mind what are ways that this idea of perfection and being perfect and be damaging well I can create anxiety. I know that when I'm trying to be perfect I'm suddenly OK. OK it's not the way I want it to be it's not right. It's nobody else is going to like oh gosh and then I start getting really anxious. And then I get maybe a little OCD about it and I start overdoing it this way or overdoing it that way. Another way is that if you get too much in your brain about things and being things being perfect you can over analyze and analyze so much until you just become paralyzed. Perfect example. You're trying to write a paper. You're trying to write a book. You know you have all these ideas inside of your head and and you've got the concept and the passion wants to get out. It wants to get out of the brain and onto the paper but you just you want it to be perfect so you don't start because it's not perfect and you're paralyzed. Yeah analysis paralysis is what that's called. And so that's one way that the mind can really find damage through this concept of perfection. Let's look into our spiritual side. So what I've noticed once I try to fit into this box of perfection is that I lose sight of my vision. I lose sight of my soul connection. I lose sight of my purpose. And I start adopting other people's purpose. I start adopting and copying and mimicking. Well that looks good. Oh well everybody seems to like that. I've done guilty of this in my life. And it is what it is. Now I say I am not as guilty of those things. You know now I'm like I know what my purpose is and nothing can veer me away from that because I know there's nobody's way is perfect. So it can really veer you away from your spiritual connection to your soul. So basically emotionally talk about that. Oh this is a big one. Let's see depression. Anyone been depressed over not getting it just right over thoughts and ideas of how it was supposed to be and how you could have done better. Self-esteem. Your self-esteem can go down. What about shame? You immediately go into shaming yourself for not being perfect. Shame yourself for not being the way others have dictated that the perfect way is. Even narcissism I feel is a form of emotional perfection. Always working at being that perfect person and then like transmitting that to the world and finding a way that you know you're always right. You're always everything's about you because I don't know. I'm not a psychotherapist so I'm not sure of the exact ways of narcissism and how it's developed but it feels to me like that came up. Finding your worth and your value and all of those things. These are ways that your emotional being and your emotional self can be affected in an unproductive way through this idea and concept of perfection. So my question is having said all of that is anything really perfect and do you really want that? I mean I know for me I don't want to be perfect because that idea of being perfect is somebody else's idea. And also where is the space in that for creativity? Where's the space in that for growth? Where's the space in that for evolution? How many generations of people? I mean did we start out with opposing thumbs? I don't know. Was that a mistake? And then it moved into oh my gosh what are these things for? And then you were able to grab things better and do other things. Like there's a lot of times in science so many imperfect mistakes happen in science and become these grand evolutionary... We have these huge strides in our development as a human race and in ways that we can be on this planet and ways that we can live on this planet. And creativity how many things have happened in art? Like think about art. There's oh gosh you know that splattered there and then the artist is like well let's go with it you know and they take care of it. I mean they turn it into something beautiful maybe even something revolutionary that others didn't even have a thought of. And even yeah science medicine that was a mistake penicillin right? And look at how many lives that saved. So I just I want to really take it into into that side of things and let's explore now ways to remedy these ideas and feelings of perfection in our lives. And if we start with physically like how about you do something like art something physical that will help you to don't copy a photo or maybe even try to copy something and see where you don't do it exactly right. Where you don't do it the way that is outlined for you to do it here in Hawaii and I think this is so beautiful because here in Hawaii the art of making lay is so special and one of the laws so to speak of making lay is that there are no imperfections. And even if you feel like you made a mistake like oh it you know the flower didn't go on right or the leaf folded wrong or poked out or whatever the aloha way the Hawaiian way is to accept those as part of the beauty part of the magic part of the medicine of of that art work of of. That creation so physically I would say you know really start to you can do things like that to be able to you can make jewelry. A lot of times I make jewelry and I will be making something like oh gosh that's totally not the same or. I did the spacing wrong or something like that like go with it I'm just going to see how that turns out and so many people are like I love how that's on the side and not directly in the middle I'm like yeah I meant to do that. Not I didn't mean to do that it's just how it happened and it was me going with it and recognizing that hey you know this could be exactly the way it's meant to be so those are some ways physically to be able to. Get out of that idea of perfection mentally I feel like gratitude are a huge way so being grateful for where you are being grateful for what you have been. Just really getting into that practice of gratitude that's not looking outside of yourself really for a way of being or someone else's idea of what perfection is and it's really getting into where you are and also I feel like. There's a what do they say practice progress rather than perfection and I think that goes hand in hand with gratitude so really taking note of where you're at being grateful for that and noticing your progress am I moving forward am I growing. Am I in creation yes yes yes then great be happy about that. Moving on to spiritually so to me one of the easiest ways for me to connect with my spiritual self. Is to get into nature and when I get into nature there are so many examples of. Perfect imperfection and there's no judgment there's no shame there's no tree sitting there going I should have grown straight up and down and now that I didn't grow straight up and down I'm less of a tree. No that doesn't happen the tree says I am a tree and I am growing this way because the light shown through this way and the lightning slashed that way and the water supply is here and it is exactly the way it's meant to be so. To connect with your spirit really I I always turn to nature and I'd encourage you and invite you. To do the same meditation is a great way I always suggest that. Find a way to meditate and there's no perfect way to do that either you can walk and meditate you can talk and meditate you can sit and meditate you can lay down and meditate. You can seemingly fall asleep and meditate so check yourself on that one to to make sure that you're allowing yourself to find your way. And that leads us to our emotional selves and I'm just gonna. I think I'm going to just say that one of the biggest ways to heal. Let's start with the shame and I was just in a class yesterday with. Colleen O'Hara. And she had this beautiful remedy for shame and it was to speak it. And I think that speaks to the exposure of our shame and acknowledging that acknowledging those parts of us that maybe aren't the way we necessarily want them to be yet. But they are what they are and they're a part of us. And so let's love all of those parts of us and find a way of acceptance with those things so that those emotions that may not be as high vibration. Have the opportunity to move through us they have the opportunity to. Stay in motion emotion energy equals motion. That's emotion. So we want to constantly have that movement constantly having that. Having that formula with our emotions given to me by my master teacher Noah and energy. In motion so also you know I want to share a little story we've got the before we go we have the holidays coming up and I was talking to a dear friend. Of mine and I just said I'm just so excited about the holidays coming up and I don't really feel like I have a whole lot of stress or stress or anything around. The holidays and how they're going to be or how they're not going to be I just feel really excited for the energy and the spirit of the holidays coming up. And I said I just feel really settled and ready and my friend said well what's different what changed why why are you not anxious about it why are you not worried about it this year. And I said gosh I took a second to think about it and I thought huh you know what of later earlier this year what I did is I took a specific amount of time. And I've been working on it ever since actually and I've worked on it. Before this also I just took a very specific dedicated amount of time to be able to work with detachment outcomes and having that detachment outcomes and really stepping and falling like doing that free fall backwards into the trust of this lifetime. The trust of this universal energy and the trust of this planet and the rhythm of everything and knowing that it's all a part of the process of growth and creation and evolution. I feel like that is really what is different this season for me and it's allowing me to see the magic and if this person doesn't come to my party or that you know decoration doesn't get up or if those lights don't work it's it's all just a part of the magic. So that being said, I would love to invite you to find the magic in all parts of this perfectly imperfect life of ours in this planet that has so much magic to offer, and so many sacred gifts, and to maybe pivot the way you see things just a little bit so that you can really experience that magic and know that everything is as it is. And so it is. As always, thank you so much to think tech Hawaii for giving us this platform to be able to talk and discuss and have a conversations about all of these subjects and topics that are important to this community. Thank you to the donors and the sponsors for helping to keep us on air and to all of you. Thank you so much for watching and continuing to give me so much feedback and comments and I truly do appreciate you and love you in all of the ways. Aloha and Mahalo.