 Mother, is Maxwell House the best coffee in the whole world? Well, your father says so, and your father knows best. Yes, it's Father Knows Best, transcribed in Hollywood starring Robert Young's father. A half-hour visit with your neighbors, the Andersons, brought to you by Maxwell House, the coffee that's bought and enjoyed by more people than any other brand of coffee at any price. Maxwell House, always good to the last drop. In the latter part of the 18th century, Dr. Friedrich Anton Mesmer conducted an amazing series of experiments in the field of hypnotism. In his work, Mesmer used rabbits, chickens, even people, with results we can describe only as astonishing. There was one field, however, which he neglected to investigate, the hypnotic influence of the average salesman on the average American home. In Springfield, in the White Frame House on Maple Street, this subject is now about to be explored, but thoroughly, like this. Margaret? Yes, dear? What's this? What's what, dear? This? Oh, that! That's a magazine. I know it's a magazine, but what are we doing with a copy of the Poultry Breeders Bulletin and Gazette? Well, we had our choice between that and the Mining Engineers Monthly Manual. So you took the Poultry Breeders Bulletin and Gazette. Naturally, we wouldn't have any use for a magazine about Mining Engineers, would we? Margaret. Yes, dear? Have you developed a sudden interest in poultry? No. A poultry breeder? Jim, don't be ridiculous. Well, you don't just go out and buy a thing like this without some reason. I didn't go out. He brought it here. Who did? Well, I don't know his name, but he was a very nice boy, and he's working his way through Harvard. You mean we bought a subscription for this thing? It was only $4, Jim, and if I thought you were going to make all this fuss... I'm not making any fuss. It's just that I see no reason for throwing money away on things we don't need. People always need magazines. All right, but why did you have to pick the Poultry Breeders Bulletin and Gazette? I told you, dear, because we couldn't use the Mining Engineers monthly manual. And we had to buy something, didn't we? He was a very nice boy. Margaret, I too am a very nice boy. I'm one of the nicest boys I know, and I work very hard for my money. Yes, dear. I have three children to support, three hungry children who eat like overgrown vacuum cleaners. Yes, dear. Well, how do you expect me to keep on feeding them if you keep on buying the Poultry Breeders Bulletin and Gazette? I bought it only once. Margaret, don't you see what's happening? You've got our names on every sucker list in the country. That's not so. It certainly is. Look at that stack of magazines. The bee culture quarterly, the wine growers weekly, the goat herders Gazette. What good are they? We don't need any of them. Oh, dear. What's the matter? Jim, promise me you won't be angry. What did you buy now? Now, first promise me you won't be angry. All right, I promise. What did you buy? Well, Mary Edith Steel. You remember Mary Edith, don't you? Naturally, we went to different schools to get it. What about her? Well, she has a son by her first marriage, Howard Millican. Her first husband's name was Millican, and that's why Howard's name is Millican, and her name is Steel. Margaret. He's a very nice boy, Jim. Really, he is. Of course, it's too bad they didn't have his teeth straightened when he was young. Margaret. Yes, dear. What did you buy? I didn't buy anything. Good. Not really, that is. Margaret. I just gave him a deposit. Jim, and I don't have to pay the balance until it's delivered. Until what's delivered? The history of our feathered friends. You bought a book about birds? Well, not exactly a book. Oh. It's 12 books. Margaret. But they're beautifully bound, Jim, and they cost only $18, and there were three times that. Howard said so. Margaret. Yes, dear. We don't want them. But I've given him a $2 deposit. Tell him to keep the deposit. We don't want the books. Jim, I can't do a thing like that. I can't possibly. I can. What's the number? They don't have a telephone. Well, where do they live? Jim, if I promise not to buy anything more. Where do they live? Hi, everybody. I'll never be able to look Mary Edith in the face again. Fine. Where do they live? Where does who live, Dan? Isn't as though we can't use the books, dear. You can't ever tell when you might want to know something about birds. I know everything about birds that I intend to know. Now, will you please tell me where they live? Who, Dan? You don't have to tell them a thing, Jim Anderson. I'll go over there myself this very instant. Good. Where are mom? And I'll tell them again. You do that. Who, dad? And don't be a bit surprised if no one in that entire family ever speaks to you again. That's alright, too. Fine thing. If you won't buy their silly books, they won't talk to you. Dad. What? Who? Who what? Who won't talk to you. Howard Millican. Who's he? The boy who won't talk to me. Who? Who's he? Who's he? Who's he? Who's he? The boy who won't talk to me. But I'm just as happy. At all, boy. Say, dad. Not now, bud. I've just gone through a thing with your mother. But I want you to see something. Look at that, dad. You know whose hand that is? Yours. Take it upstairs and give it a bath. It's Joe DiMaggio's. Does he know what's missing? The man said in his whole life he'd never seen a hand that looked more like Joe DiMaggio's. Fine. I hope you'll both be very happy. That's why I need the two dollars. What two dollars? For the glove. What glove? My new baseball glove. Like Joe DiMaggio's. Bud. Well, gosh. If you've got a hand like that, you can't use just any old glove, can you? But who told you your hand was like DiMaggio's? The man who sold me the glove. Take it back. Holy cow. Mother! What if he won't take it back? Then what am I going to do? I already gave him four dollars. It's very simple. Give him two dollars more. Where am I going to get it? Work for it. Or is it against the law to push a lawnmower with Joe DiMaggio's hand? And don't say holy cow. Gee whiz. She went out. Where? She's going to give Howard Millican the birds. Never mind. Dad, would you lend me two dollars if I gave you security? What kind of security? My old glove. No. That's what I figured. You don't know when mother will be back, do you, father? Pretty soon. What's in the box? The box? Box, B-O-X. A device for carrying things. Like the one you have in your hand. Box. Oh. Oh, it isn't anything, father. Just something I bought. And paid for, I hope. Maybe I better go look for mother. She might need me for something. Betty, come back here. In the event that you missed that last bit of subtlety, I'll repeat it. And paid for, I hope. What if I threw in my skype? Well, Betty. It cost me almost a dollar and a half. Are you going to answer me? And that was two years ago. When a dollar and a half was a dollar and a half. But... Go turn off the sprinklers. They aren't on. Then turn them on. Good gosh. What some people have to go through to get two measly bucks. Betty. Yes, father? Yes, father. You charged it, didn't you? Yes, father. Why? Well, I didn't have any money. And anyway, I think it's awful. What is? The sweater. It's horrible. Then why did you buy it? I had, too, father. Janey Liggett's my best friend. I couldn't insult her, could I? Betty, for the sake of my poor, belabored mind, would you please start all over again from the beginning? Well, Janey bought a sweater. And the clerk said, isn't it beautiful? And I had to say yes. And then she told me I ought to buy one. And I couldn't say I thought it was hideous. So I did. You said it was hideous? No, I bought one. Well, take it back. Oh, I can't, father. It was on sale. Oh, I don't know. When I was a boy, things like this never happened in my house. People bought what they needed. And that was all. Daddy. And that was all. And so help me if she bought something, I'll strangle her. Father. Hi, daddy. Where is everybody? She's out. Where is it? Where's what? Whatever it is you bought. I didn't buy it. But he told me to buy anything. That's more like it. But I will. Never mind. You're the only one in this whole family with any sense. Anytime the doorbell rings, somebody buys something. They'll buy anything. The Goat Herders Gazette. Joe DiMaggio's glove. I won. Cathy, stop it. Nobody has a family like this. Nobody else in the whole world. Hello. This is Gribble, JP Gribble. Oh, hello, JP. Those group insurance figures still haven't come back from New York. Cathy, stop it. This is why I call. Can you do me a favor? A big favor? Why, of course, JP, if I can. What is it? Well, I have a niece, my sister's girl. Pretty little thing. What makes some extra money? Oh, well, you see, JP... So, she's going from house to house selling things. Ringing doorbells, you know. Did you say something? No, JP, that was just a doorbell. Oh, well, as I was saying, I've given her the names of a few people. Just a few, you know. You see, I've just gone through a whole thing with my family about not buying things we don't need. Now, if I buy something... Just two or three of everything she's got, that's all. Two or three? Then if you just bring everything over to me, I'll be glad to reimburse you. Oh, well, of course, JP. I'll be glad to. Feel a lot easier just to give her the money, but you know how it is. Proud little creature won't take a thing from me once to earn it on her own. Oh, haven't heard from you in weeks. That's the idea. I knew I could count on you, my boy. And I'll bring the things up to you in the morning? Any time at all, Jim. I'll be glad to take them off your hands. Fine. Well, I'll see you in the morning. Thank you, Jim, and good night, my boy. Good night, JP. Who was it, Kathy? All ready? Tell her to come in. That's right. But you said you didn't want us to buy anything. Kathy, we've been buying things for months from anybody who came to the door. Now, this is something special. This is something I've got to buy. Tell the lady to come in. I can't. Why not? I already told her to go away. Oh, no. Now, that's good coffee. Best I ever had. Those words will really warm your heart when you hear them from the world's greatest coffee expert. Yes, ma'am. Because that number one expert is the man you please most. Your husband. Of course, we think we're pretty fair experts. Our Maxwell House coffee is America's favorite brand. But the expert with the last word is that man of yours. And if you brew him a pot of Maxwell House, we're mighty sure he'll say that's what I call good coffee. In fact, if he doesn't, we'll give you your money back. You see, we know there's no other coffee taste like our Maxwell House because no other coffee is made like Maxwell House. No other coffee has that wonderful good to the last drop flavor. So we'd like you to bring home a pound tomorrow. Start serving Maxwell House coffee to that husband of yours. And if he doesn't say it's the best coffee ever, why you send us the can and unused portion and we'll gladly refund the price you paid. Our address is right on the front of that familiar blue tin. We see how much the world's greatest coffee expert enjoys Maxwell House coffee. Always good to the last drop. It's moments later on Maple Street and in the white frame house occupied by the Anderson's, there's a soapy whir of speculation. Will Kathy be able to find the sales girl and bring her back? Will Margaret recover her $2 deposit from Howard Millican? Will Jim be able to carry out the sales? Certainly sounds exciting, doesn't it? It's drama, that's what it is. Sheer unadulterated drama. Like this. Father. What is it, Benny? Do you hate green sweaters? Not particularly. I do. Good. Of all the sweaters in the store she would have to pick out a green one. Who? Janie Liggett? No, Mr. Gribble. That girl who was selling things. Wow, good for you. Oh, it was so exciting, Daddy. She was just getting kicked out of the woodies. She what? I mean, Mrs. Woodie was telling you she didn't want any. Oh, well, where is she? She's coming and oh, Daddy, is she pretty? She is, huh? She's got beautiful golden hair and big blue eyes. Who has, Father? Just someone with whom I have to do some business, that's all. What kind of business? Benny, why don't you go upstairs and worry about your green sweater or something? Well, if you're going to do business with beautiful blondes and don't want us around. I didn't say I didn't want you around. I merely said, uh, just stay here and keep quiet, please. Hello? Hey, just be sure that you don't... Hello there! I'm Jim Anderson. How do you do, Mr. Anderson? I'm Sheila Gibson. Yes, you certainly are. Uh, come on in. Uh, sit down. Thank you very much. Ah, that's better, isn't it? Yes, quite. Uh, this is my older daughter, Betty. How do you do, Betty? Hi. And, of course, you've met Kathy. Of course. Hi! She said you wanted to see me about something. Yes, I certainly do. We'd like to see what you're selling. Oh, for any particular reason? Well, of course, I'll probably buy something. We buy things here all the time. Is Mrs. Anderson at home? No, but we don't have to worry about that. Just, uh, trot everything out. Okay. Uh, what are you selling anyway? Lingerie. What? Lingerie. Lingerie. Father! Well, there's nothing wrong with, uh, Lady Silk Lingerie. Is there? Not that I know of. Father, you can't look at things like that. Like plot, Betty. Why can't I? Okay. If your mother can buy the Poultry Breeders Gazette, I can look at, uh, Lingerie. Now, uh, let's see it. All right. Father, may I speak to you a minute? Later, Betty. Let's just get this over with first. Daddy, why won't you tell Daddy? This is one of our better garments, Mr. Anderson. It's pure silk and comes in the loose leg. I'll take three. Just put it away. I'll take three. Thank you. Did you have any particular size in mind? Yes, uh, Mrs. Gribb, I mean, it's for a large woman. Very large. About, uh, 46? Father, that's a tent! Well, if it's the largest you have, it'll be fine. All right. Now, as a companion piece, we generally recommend this form fitting the... I'll take three. Oh, but I want to explain. You don't have to explain. I'll take three. Yes, uh, the, uh, large size. Oh. Say, Dad, how long do you want me to... Holy cow! But, uh, go turn on the sprinklers. I just turned them on. Well, uh, turn them all. You just said to turn them on. Now I'm telling you to turn them all and, uh, stop arguing. I wasn't arguing, but first you tell me to turn them on, then you tell me to turn them off and... Holy cow! That, uh, was my son. So I gathered. As a special introductory feature, Mr. Anderson, we're offering a new... I'll take three. Just give me three of everything and, uh, tell me how much it is. Oh, that's very generous of you, but I really feel... It's quite all right, Miss, uh... Ms. Gibson. I was saying to my wife just the other day, the next time somebody comes along selling, uh, things, we'll just take three of everything. That's what I said. Father, do you feel all right? Of course I feel all right. I feel fine. Your collar's melting. Your face all red. Well, it's hot in here, that's all. It's, uh, very hot. Uh, how much do I owe you? Well, it comes to $84, but that includes Mr. Anderson, let me show it to you. You don't have to bother. Oh, but I want to. Tell me, have you ever seen anything more beautiful? It's fine, fine, yes. Just put it away. Oh, Father, that's gorgeous! How do you sleep in a thing like that? You don't sleep in them, silly? Have you ever seen anything so sheer, so soft, so beautifully delicate? It's, it's great, just great. Now, uh, will you please put it away? Oh, Father, may I look at it just for a minute? It's lovely, isn't it? You can look at it later. Hold it up against you so I can see. All right. Miss Gibson! Jim! Jim Howard Millican says he's very sorry, but, well... Mother, isn't it beautiful? It's a nightgown. Margaret, uh, this is Miss Gibson. She sells things. Doesn't she, though? Mrs. Anderson, your husband's bought some beautiful lingerie, but about the size... Uh, the size is fine, Miss Gibson, and here's the, uh, $84. And thank you very much. Oh, this is really wonderful, Mr. Anderson, and I want you to know I appreciate it very much. That's quite all right. Oh, of course. What does he care about $84? I'll see that your order's delivered in a very few days. That'll be fine. Just fine. Oh, and thank you, Mrs. Anderson. You have a very generous husband. Oh, yes. Jim the Playboy, we call him. Margaret. Why don't you girls show Miss Gibson to the door? That won't be necessary, Mrs. Anderson. I'm sure they want to. Don't you girls. I want to stay here. Happy. Come on. Thank you again, Mr. Anderson. Oh, thank practically nothing of it. Miss Gibson. Jim Anderson. Wait till she gets out. She's out. You see, Margaret, I got a call from Mr. Gribble. In my own home. My own home to find you cavorting with that woman. I wasn't cavorting. I was buying stuff. Jim, how could you do a thing like that? Like what? Black silk nightgowns in my living room. She was holding it up, Margaret. She wasn't wearing it. You see, Margaret. I got this call from Mr. Gribble. I wasn't out of the house for more than 10 minutes. And he said he was sending his niece over. The very instant my back is turned. You invite strange women into the living room. His niece over. His niece? His niece. You mean that was Mr. Gribble's niece? Uh-huh. And he sent her over? Yep. Oh. And he asked a few friends to buy things from her. For him. That's why I had to get everything so large. They're for Mrs. Gribble. Jim. I couldn't say anything in front of Miss Gibson or the children. He doesn't want her to know anything about it. Jim, I'm so ashamed. Oh, that's all right, honey. We all make mistakes once in a while. But when I saw her with that black nightgown in front of her. Margaret, let's just forget the whole thing, shall we? What happened with our feathered friends? Howard says he can't do anything about it. He's already put the order in. I'm sorry, dear. Well, it just goes to show what happens when you don't figure things out. I knew exactly what to do. What to expect, and so it worked fine. Gribble's happy. His niece is happy. And as soon as I get my $84, I'll be happy. Jim. Just a second, honey. I'd better answer the bill. If it's anybody selling anything, tell them we don't want anything. Don't worry, Angel. I know just how to handle it. Hello. Mr. Edison? Yes? I'm a media. My uncle, Mr. Gribble, said you'd buy some of my life-savers. Life-savers? I got all kinds of life-savers. Sperma, peppermint, wintergreen. Seems like no matter how hard you try to go right, you sometimes go wrong in buying things. But that needn't happen when you buy coffee. No, ma'am. Because the world's greatest coffee expert can tell you where to find the most for your money, the most in flavor, and just plain pleasure. All you do is set a cup of Maxwell House coffee in front of your husband. He's the expert we mean. And when he looks up at you with a smile and says, now that's a real cup of coffee, why you'll know Maxwell House is your coffee buy. Find out tomorrow. Bring home a familiar blue tin of Maxwell House and listen to your husband praise that wonderful good to the last drop flavor. And then count all the truly good cups of coffee you get from that one pound. We think you'll be convinced. Maxwell House coffee gives you the most for your money because it's always good to the last drop. It's morning now and breakfast time in the White Frame House on Maple Street. There's a fragrant scent of coffee in the air, crisp bacon frying in the skillet, and father burning in the breakfast room like this. Books about birds can be very useful, can't they, dear? Yes, yes, I guess they can be. Please pass the toast, can't they? Here you are, Daddy. You know, in this light, the sweater looks fine, doesn't it, Father? Great. Butter, please. Say, Dad, you know what Joe Phillips said to me last night? I know, but what did Joe Phillips say to you last night? Any time I want to sell my Joe to my Joe glove, he'll give me a $2 profit. Good. May I please have the sugar? There you are, Dad. Thank you. Well, things seem to have worked out very well after all, haven't they? Oh, yes, just fine. Pass the cream, please. Daddy? Yes, Cathy? What are you going to do with your black night gown? Cream, please. Say, Mom, if you have trouble getting your children to eat a hot cereal for breakfast, here's the perfect solution. Just serve them Hopalong Cassidy's favorite hot cereal, post-wheatmeal. Yes, post-wheatmeal. Just tell the youngsters how swell wheatmeal tastes with a wonderful nut-like flavor. Tell them how hoppy gets plenty of real solid nourishment from that rich brown treat. Cooks in just three and a half minutes. You'll see, you'll go along with Hopalong. It's the best hot cereal you ever ate. Join us again next week when we'll be back with Father Knows Best starring Robert Young as Jim Anderson with Roy Bargy in the Maxwell House Orchestra and yours truly, Bill Forman. So until next Thursday, good night and good luck from the makers of Maxwell House, America's favorite brand of coffee. Always good to the last drop. Father Knows Best was transcribed in Hollywood and written by Ed James. Now stay tuned in for Dragnet, which follows immediately over most of these stations. Yes, be sure to hear Dragnet. And remember, Bill Bendick stars tomorrow on NBC.